LUCHA UNDERGROUND ~FINAL~ EPISODE: Ultima Lucha Cuatro - Part 2

ER: When I started Lucha Underground season 4 TWO YEARS AGO, who could have possibly predicted it would take two years to complete? It was that magical combination of near total disinterest in the product after seeing the show's quality decline each season to the next, with a stupid completionist attitude of "you've already written up the rest of the show, might as well finish this race". I loved the first and second season, found some bright spots in the third season, and have just not really enjoyed a lot of this final season. Replacing Dario with Antonio was a brutal decision, most storyline payoffs were weak or poorly constructed, and the roster wasn't anywhere close to as interesting as it was in the first couple seasons. But I like finishing projects, and this one was more of an attainable goal just because it was actually finite. And so, six years after the show began and just over two years after the show's finale aired, we come to the conclusion of Lucha Underground on Segunda Caida.

TL: LU is one of the weirdest entities in recent wrestling history: A pro wrestling outlet with genuine backing and a fresh take that became this supernova of a favorite within not only the wrestling community, but with actual, honest-to-God mainstream buzz. We're talking about a show that was featured at SXSW after its first season, for crying out loud! And then they predictably gave it all away, going away from what made it so appealing in the first place and making some questionable decisions both with personnel and booking that it could never really recover from. What was found out by the time Season 4 came around was that, just as a show can earn tons of goodwill basically overnight, it can lose it just as fast, if not faster. Talent predictably lost faith in the direction of the company when predatory contracts were handed out like a death sentence, and on top of that, outsiders brought in never really elevated the organically grown original roster member to the heights necessary to thrive. That may have been the most crucial aspect of the company: It was COMPLETELY organic and self-sustaining, and the pro wrestling trope of guys with name value on the outside looking in at the hot new show on the block trying to get involved because they're "veterans" essentially killed a lot of what made it work. So here we are, seeing how high the dead cat can bounce.

ER: I liked our opening Mundo/Taya segment. Mundo has good Meathead Han Solo energy, and Taya's braid shaking sell of the doll possessing her was hilarious. They seem like fun.


2/3 Falls: Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Fenix

ER: This match was good enough, and they tried some big things, but I cannot get interested in the Melissa Santos/Fenix angle. She doesn't have the acting chops to pull it off, and it was far more interesting when they were just fawning over each other like they were in a 2000s Morrissey video. Her having to act through ring announcements is ruffff. The first two falls are a little dry, felt like they were holding back for the third fall, which makes sense. Rudo Fenix isn't really any different than Tecnico Fenix, other than occasionally glowering at Melissa, and a lot of his offense looks like it's focusing more on a soft landing, which makes some of their exchanges look tentative. The tercera gets changed to Falls Count Anywhere by Antonio, and we get some violent callbacks to the earlier falls, but they also don't make a ton of sense. Fenix hit a nice German in the ring on Azteca early in the match, and it's weird when he hits one on the floor that is sold basically the same as the one in the ring. Similarly, Azteca won the segunda with his big tornado DDT, yet when he does the same on the floor Fenix is up wandering into place seconds later. It's weird to do callback spots when you're only calling attention to the newer painful versions being somehow less effective. We get some nice big spots around a table that refuses to break (nice rana off the upper level seating, big Fenix senton off the top to the floor), before it finally gets pulverized by an Azteca cradle driver off the top. The big spots didn't really lead to any big pinfall moments though, and it all felt like it was just building up to be the background to Melissa's involvement, which leads to no justice or interesting storyline wrap. It does lead to Shaul Guerrero as our guest ring announcer for the final hour of the promotion's history, so that's a weird footnote.

TL: A bit too cooperative at the start for this one, and the rapid cuts on the strike exchanges make me beg for a wide shot to see how bad it looked in full. Azteca had a nice dive, and the Fenix Driver to finish the first fall was definitely nasty. Azteca's crispness on offense is always fun, shows out a bit in fall two with the absolutely wild swinging DDT to even it up. The restart to make the final fall Falls Count Anywhere was a bit on the nose, but at the same time, it'll give Fenix an excuse to do something mighty dumb. I liked the German basically out of nowhere on the floor, as suddenness in a stip match based on the ruleset always pops me. The swinging DDT on the floor was even more wild than the one that evened up the match, but I wish there was at least a pin opportunity off it. And then Fenix kicks out at two off the rana through the table, rendering that point moot, I guess. The Fenix Swanton to the floor where he basically wipes out on the table is some Great Sasuke shit, and then Fenix takes the Cassadora through the table for a near fall and I guess you have to actually kill him? And then one time through the table and another Fenix Driver finishes? So Azteca never really had a shot? Just a strange layout for the match, doesn't really give Azteca a rub as the Azteca/Melissa stuff made him look dumb, and then Antonio says, "Love makes you do strange things," which is the cherry on top of this. Shaul Guerrero is fine? This company mystifies to the very end.

The Mack vs. Mil Muertes

ER: This had the same kind of unhinged first season cartoon violence that made that season so damn enjoyable. Two heavyweights work a fast sprint that has hard punches and kicks, big dives, hard bumps, big nearfalls, and an axe getting swung at Mack's head. It is a death match, after all. This felt like the entire match was really made for absolute Temple Fan Enjoyment, as each section was worked the way the Temple seems to respond to. Muertes is my favorite brawler in the fed and I could watch him knock Mack in the head with those big right hands all day. Both guys hit crazy topes, and Muertes has an awesome one that knocks Mack backwards into the ringside casket. But I also really liked the big nearfalls section where both guys had titanic finishers spammed to death, like a sick Mack powerslam and an even sicker flatliner that Mack takes crooked on his head. The finish stretch is classic LU, with Mack hitting a few stunners and then breaking a damn brick over Mil's head, putting him down with one last big stunner. Great all action match that felt like them getting an opportunity to work the match I knew they could work together. They had a singles match earlier this season that was incredibly dumb, a Haunted House match that included a "serious" section where Muertes got out a knife. This showed they had much better ways of integrating weapons into a match that was actually interesting. I'm happy they got a second singles match on the books as it's a singles pairing I always wanted from LU. It took until the literal final episode to deliver, but we made it.

TL: The pre-match was cute, Shaul not finding her footing yet is a bit odd given she's only 30, only an AEW ring announcing credit to her name? I'm extremely happy this matchup is happening, as Mil and Mack were two of the bright spots in the promotion's history, and the casket to start has me stoked. Mack is nuts, hitting his fat guy tope con giro and braining himself on a DDT on the apron. And then things pick up from there and these are two guys that know how to turn it up a few notches. The weapons in the casket is an awesome touch, and then the Muertes tope sending both into the casket was gnarly. We have an axe and a sickle involved, so I guess someone's been watching Mr. Pogo matches. I mean, a couple of weeks ago, someone actually got shot during a wedding angle on IMPACT so an axe doesn't surprise me. An ICE PICK, goddamn. I just rewatched Basic Instinct a couple weeks ago and yeah, the ice pick shots led to grimacing. A spinning heel kick that looked nasty AND Mack saying "KUNTA KINTE 3000" before laying in a shot, Mack rules, man. Muertes also hits his nasty chokeslam, so I feel like I'm getting everything I wanted out of this match and then some. Mack getting to kick out of the Flatliner is a great sign of respect considering how protected that finish is, AND THEN MACK HITS HIM WITH A BRICK AND A THIRD STUNNER FOR THE WIN. Mack's run in LU was an absolute blast, and Muertes was without a doubt the most consistent person in the entire run; to see them go out with one last banger against each other is incredibly satisfying. Highly doubt anything will touch this for me the rest of the night.

PAS: This was good stuff, a classic Mil Muertes garbage brawl with blood, dumb bumps and stupid weapons. Nothing in this felt space alieny or spooky ghosts, just two big dudes escalating violently until the ending. The spin out of the chokeslam into a stunner was really cool, I wonder if Austin and the Undertaker ever did that spot? I liked the Icepick as Kevin Sullivan's spike and the blood looked really cool in Mack Afro's like red soul glow activator.  LU eventually killed me, and I stopped caring about any of this stuff, but this match is the kind of thing that initially drew me to the fed. 

Johnny Mundo vs. Matanza

ER: I am genuinely excited for this one. I don't think I'm being hyperbolic or nostalgic to say that this episode has captured a real Season 1 vibe so far, the obvious best season of the series run. Is this like how March 2001 WCW was actually feeling like things were changing for the better, just a few episodes before it was all over? The power glove thing is soooo stupid but also soooo perfectly Lucha Underground. Mundo has a super power glove and it gives us a sign of Matanza we've never seen before, because now Matanza actually fears something. So we get a fun mixture of invincible Matanza as he kicks out of an early Moonlight Drive and other Mundo attacks, and tosses him with a few hard landing suplexes. The Gift to the Gods looks great, and Matanza really chucks him off the top with an overhead belly to belly. They brawl up to the top of some Temple structures, and we get fun Mundo parkour leap into a far wall, but he still gets caught by Matanza and tossed into a different wall. We get a big stunt fall where Mundo gets tossed through a roof ("You can see the asbestos falling from the walls," says Striker, a poor thing to have on tape when it comes to future class action lawsuits) and we get the big LU moment of power glove Mundo emerging through a door in the wreckage. Scared Matanza is a fun sight and something we might as well get to see in the final episode, love how weird begging off Matanza felt. We still got a couple of Matanza last gasps and this never felt like Mundo was going to dominantly come back, and it still felt like a big deal when Mundo put the monster away.

TL: Matanza's entrance gear is absolutely outrageous, some shit that he should have worn every week. Big time Vader mastodon helmet vibes with it. And yeah, I'm with Eric, the Power Glove is one of the great kitschy pro wrestling gimmicks of our time, and Mundo has the range to do fun stuff with it. And that happens in the start where he shows it could actually take down Matanza, a great bit of psychology to start, and then Matanza catches him and starts absolutely mauling him with sick power moves, including an impressive vaulting belly-to-belly. Mundo had a nice little comeback, too, and then just an insane Super German Suplex from Matanza with Mundo vaulting off the top of the post for maximum height. If you're gonna have a bombfest and aren't going to crush each other like Mack and Muertes, at least go big and with style, you know? The parkour stuff was great, too, which is a rarity in a Mundo match for me, so these guys are doing a great job with this match style, something that has genuinely impressed me. It's wild that LU missed so much in Season 4 only to have a match that encapsulates everything about it in basically one match, and the Johnny rising from the dead to use the gauntlet's power to kick out of the Wrath of the Gods and BIG PUNCH his way to victory, just a boatload of entertaining pro wrestling bullshit. Eric and I have watched a ton of cheesy horror movies lately so all those tropes rang true here, and both guys played the roles to perfection. Wild that he'd give up the glove like that, though, better man than me.

ER: I disagree with Tim's statement that there are such a thing as "cheesy horror movies". 

Pentagon Dark vs. Marty The Moth Martinez

ER: The Moth has basically retired from wrestling post LU (he has had less than 10 matches since this one, and this one aired two years ago), and he goes out with an all time LU performance. This whole match is the Moth show. He hits a true gusher, no blood packets for the Moth, just that thick kind of blood that soaks your entire head and thins your hair. Marty throws himself around ringside with abandon, going through several sets of chairs and hard into the ringpost (which is when the blood starts flowing). LU is a fed where basically everyone (especially heels) was required to take sprawling bumps through ringside chairs, in the same way everyone in NOAH had to learn how to get thrown into a guardrail. Guys getting tossed into chairs is always something that lands with me, with so many moving parts that it always looks painful and chaotic. Now considering guys go through chairs at least once per LU episode, it's pretty awesome that Moth's chair bumps actually stood out as crazy. He hip tosses Pentagon through a table, rips at his mask, stabs him with a fork, eats what appears to be a piece of bacon, and gets Pentagon bleeding. The match needed more blood, so this is obviously a good thing. That's about all Moth got out of this, busting Pentagon open and eventually hitting him while stuck in a trashcan, because the bulk of this was Moth making Pentagon look like (Antonio Cueto voice) A GOD. Moth bumps around for Pentagon and makes Penta come off like the top guy, eats a flipping piledriver off the floor, flies out of the ring through a table, gets a barbed wire board bounced off his head, gets thrown through glass (!), and eats a sick package piledriver through a bunch of chairs. Pentagon was essentially working as Hogan during the last couple LU seasons, all catchphrases and relying on others to violently bump for him, but with enough charisma it is a tecnico formula that clearly works.

TL: Perhaps the most telling thing about LU is that Marty Martinez, who has essentially disappeared from pro wrestling since this finale, is in the main event of a show in the last episode of the series, and is in a match that really has little doubt going into it of who will win. Just an absolutely weird run for him, too, as the whole psychopath gimmick was so hit-and-miss outside the ring, only to see him overperform inside the ring, including with Fenix at Ultima Lucha Tres. But we know it's Penta Dark's night to end it on top, and the only thing to consider going in is if he'll actually go for it or hold off knowing that sweet Tony Khan money is coming. Marty is going for it early on, though, taking wild bumps and hitting an absolute gusher two minutes in, and if you're gonna go out, you might as well go out bleeding all over the place. Penta is bringing it, so I'm happy about that, at least. These two really do just go all out, chair shots, the garbage can shots, and then the bat shots to the garbage can Penta is stuck in, just really violent shit. I mean, Marty does lesser stuff like the table bump to the outside and then goes through the pane of glass full on, takes the Fear Factor through chairs...look, this is absolutely the Triple H at Royal Rumble 2000 performance from Marty, a very good way to go out, and Penta did enough here to make it worth watching. I don't think I liked it as much as Muertes/Mack, but I'm a big fan.

ER: Hilariously, a barely mobile Vampiro brings in his MASTER, who is actually honestly seriously called Hexagon Dark (because why would you follow a master who has one less side?) and Vampiro's master is the tiniest little man! I thought it was Darby Allin, but apparently it is Australian Suicide, who is the same size as AAA era Rey. They couldn't have found anyone with decent size? Bring back Ezekiel Jackson from the grave and put him under a Penta mask? I'm pretty sure the only guy in LU smaller than Hexagon would be Mascarita Sagrada, but I'd have to see them standing side by side to be certain. And then Jake Strong comes out and cashes in Gift of the Gods to be the final champion in LU history!! The whole episode felt designed to give the LU fans nothing but matches they wanted and finishes they wanted to see, and then the entire series ends with the fans bummed out and quiet about Jake Strong.

TL: The Australian Suicide Hexagon Dark master bullshit was hilarious to me, and leading to the obvious Strong cash-in bullshit was even more hilarious. Marty goes out like that knowing he's done, and then you get about as impactful a Strong cash-in as when he won his MITB cash-in. This means that LU absolutely was thinking a Season 5 was going to happen, when everything about the show said otherwise, and the postscripts, with Matanza getting his heart ripped out (?!?), Strong getting the glove, Taya being possessed by a damn doll, I think I would have loved to see Lucha Underground Season 5: Temple of the Gods. AND THE WADE BARRETT REVEAL. GODFREY IN THE LIMO. Why is Lucha Underground deciding to become interesting right when I lose interest? AND LITTLE CUETO IS BACK? Okay, I take back everything I said, bring it back, man.

ER: And we get a long, wistful series of vignettes, segments designed to set up the storylines for a season 5 that was assuredly never going to happen. Black Lotus murders Matanza with the gauntlet, Strong steals the gauntlet from series punching bag and perpetual loser Dragon Azteca Jr. (breaking his ankle just to remind him that he's a loser), Taya is possessed, and Wade Barrett is revealed as a higher power (in 2018 we would have had no clue how true a higher power he was, as taking Mauro Ranallo's voice off of television is a real god tier move). And to really hammer home the cruelty, we get one final glimpse of Dario being resurrected, and as much of a drag parts of this last season was, I would have obviously been back for season 5 and WARRING CUETOS!! But they went out with a very strong last episode, and that will leave a lot of goodwill for a promotion that I watched in its entirety.

TL: This is still pretty obviously the death knell for the promotion given most of the guys on top are with other promotions, namely AEW, but you have to give them credit for at least making it look like they had a plan going forward. Dueling Cuetos, leaning in completely to the Gods motif, I mean, gimme 22 episodes of that, please. Someone is going to want to watch this the entire way through years from now because it'll be readily available on something other than Tubi and be flabbergasted by what happened here: a promotion that got a ton of talent, most of them at exactly the right time, but only went forward with specific guys due to a number of factors that seem so incredibly dubious in retrospect, only to stumble sideways into greatness multiple weeks due to that multitude of talent. LU was odd until the very end, and perhaps the only thing that would be more odd and more fitting is if somehow they got everyone back together for Season 5, even with all odds stacked against them. We'll be ready when it happens.

COMPLETE, SOMEHOW, EPISODE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND

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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 18: Spiders and Skeletons

Matanza vs. Taya

ER: I liked how the mixed it up here, at least having Taya be maybe the only person who has not been sacrificed against Matanza this season. Worldwide Underground has been pretty absent from the last many shows, didn't think they'd show back up by the end of the run. Taya doesn't look great against Matanza, they overused the SFX, she threw two love tap kicks to the balls that really should have been made into a bigger deal; Matanza sold them like he didn't realize she had thrown a strike, Vampiro wasn't even sure she had kicked him low, and that's the kind of spot that could have provided actual drama. Has Matanza been kicked in the balls before? Do we know how he'd react? Does he possibly have no genitals? Was there an online graphic novel that explained that Matanza's genitals were burnt in a fire? I mean, so much time has gone by since the introduction of the Matanza character that it could have been the very first thing we learned about him. It's not hard to picture Dario yelling to the temple "Hees genitahls wur sacruficed...toothuh GODZZZ." But the spot is absolutely meaningless and could have been much more. Mundo makes his return and saves Taya from potential sacrifice, and then throws some of the worst grounded elbows mine eyes have seen. The man has murdered several people, you can lay in the elbows a bit.

TL: A match that had part of me thinking, "How are they going to book their way out of this corner by not killing Taya?" And that's how they did it, with her getting 2/3 of the match, kicking Matanza in the aforementioned questionable cajones, and then, somehow, someway, being in the best position to win the match? And then quickly, Matanza remembers, "Oh, right. I'm Matanza." Right in time for Johnny to kick and capoeira slide his way into the mount for those elbows. Look, Morrison has made a career out of making the flashy look good. There hasn't been a single non-flying strike I've seen him throw that makes me think, "Hey, let's have him lightly tap Matanza's mask with the point of his elbow. That'll make everyone look good." Do love the idea that we are going to see Matanza sacrifice them both at some point, sending Johnny back to Titan and Taya, er...elsewhere.

Mil Muertes/Fenix vs. Dragon Azteca Jr./The Mack

ER: This has to be the best LU match of the season. It clocked in just under 10, presented us a couple fresh match-ups, and had a real gem of a Fenix performance throughout. Also, the team of Muertes and Fenix is SO much more interesting than the played out Lucha Bros. team and it's cruel that this is the only time we've seen it. Power Guy/Flyer teams can't get too much more awesome than Muertes/Fenix, and Pentagon is just a lame Muertes who spends time doing stupid hand gestures to fill in the gaps while Muertes just fills space by punching people. Fenix breaks out some of his all time greatest rope work, bouncing from the top to the middle to the top to the middle to his back, working a fantastic sequence with Mack where Mack blocks a frankensteiner by taking out Fenix's legs, only for Fenix to keep blocking his block by hitting that middle rope and springing right back. Fenix also had a couple of killer saves, the best was him leaping into the ring and kicking Azteca right in the back of the head (but I do love him running in with a punt right across Mack's face), and he bases like mad for Azteca. Azteca hits one of his most awesome tornado DDTs, Fenix tossing him up into the air like a drunk uncle tossing a baby before getting wiped out on the way down. Muertes was a real wrecking ball, and he and Mack had a nice short punch exchange in the middle, Mack takes a couple big spills to the floor, and I just adore this speed and power combo of Fenix/Muertes. There were only a couple moments of the match I didn't care for: Mack really wedged his stunner into the match, and it's an unnecessary cheap pop minor league baseball stadium spot that he doesn't need to do, let alone several times in a match; and we got a weird moment that could have been awesome, when Fenix just leveled a ringside camera guy while swinging through the ropes, looked like he just clocked this guy with swinging legs. Camera guy goes down, dramatically rolls through, and springs back to his feet triumphantly. I...don't get it? Is that dude in some kind of angle? Or did they just not edit out a moment where a camera guy took a kick from arguably the most notable kicker in Lucha Underground, and immediately brushed it off. Vampiro handled it as well as possible ("Even our camera guys are bad ass!") but call an audible dude, stay down. For a fed that edits everything, it's really bizarre that this was left in, which makes me think it was left in for a reason....but why?

TL: Mauro gets a lot of righteous criticism, but holy shit, Matt Striker just made a Meek Mill pun for Mil Muertes and that has me on tilt. Azteca and Muertes are a good pairing, I like seeing what they do together, and after the Fenix/Mack pair off, this hits a different level. PWG has had a house tag style for a while that lends itself more to elaborate set pieces and spots that become more non-sensical as the match progresses, and while they do use that as a template for this match, they hit things much more crisp, they sell better, and the high spots are even more impressive. Azteca with an insane lifting tornado DDT, then, his dive gets one upped by Fenix. Then Mack is like, "Hey, 300 lbs. No hands." So the pace for this has picked up, but they aren't doing shit that defies the idea of what wrestling is and spits in its face, essentially. Muertes breaks up a pinfall attempt with a goddamn straight right hand. The best thing this match does is give you just enough of the pairings that are to come at Ultima Lucha, and then in the off-pairings, it's like they take it up another level. Fenix's rope running in this match is at the highest possible difficulty and he hits it all clean. And then we get a decisive finish to boot. I mean, look, that tag match really shouldn't have worked at all due to the layout, but they not only made it work, but they excelled in making the pairings that meant something stand out AND built awesome transitions in the process. I don't know if I liked it to the extent Eric did, but it's hard not to look at this match in the grand scheme of this season and wonder why it took 18 weeks for folks to look like they gave a damn. Then again, these are four of the most consistent guys on the roster and they got time to show out. Excited to see what they do in their singles matches.

Ricky Mundo vs. Famous B

ER: I thought this was a pretty terrific Ricky Mundo squash, and made me more interested in him than anything up to this point. He hits a big headbutt (that the camera foolishly shoots from above) and looked like he was really laying in shots. Famous B got to cut a funny return promo before the match, and bumped like a loon for Mundo. Mundo's match winning neckbreaker could have looked like the indiest shit ever, except B whipped the back of his head right into the mat. I had forgotten about the Mundo doll thing, and I'm not really feeling a Mundo/Taya blowoff, but I liked what they did here.

TL: Ricky gets to wrestle! So does Famous B! This was fine. Famous B knows how to bump like a goddamn crazy person, at least. I'd like to bring up the psychosexual pretenses of Ricky going after Johnny's wife, but then you have Ricky doing the goddamn crossface on Brenda while laying on top of B and it's like the pretense is right there out in the open for everyone. I guess I'm trying to say Ricky wants to both kill Johnny and have sex with him. There. I said it. Now I feel dirty.

Pentagon Dark vs. Reklusa

ER: I must be back on that LU hype train baby, because this was another really good match! This was also one of my favorite matches on the season, coming just 15 minutes after another Match of the Season contender. Two in one episode? Lucha Underground is the greatest! This match gets several things right that have been lacking this season, and they worked a cool match without any extra gimmicks. It helped that I think this was Pentagon's strongest performance of the season, and Reklusa may have been his most interesting opponent. Reklusa dove off the top during his entrance and proceeded to land grounded shots far harder than Johnny Mundo threw at Matanza earlier, and we get cool stuff on the floor like Reklusa going for a cannonball but getting caught and powerbomb tailbone first on the apron, and her selling Pentagon's leg kicks more effectively than anyone else has all year, really looking like she gets the nuance of a kick to the meat of the thigh. Pentagon based like hell here, catching a big rana from the top to the floor, and taking a tope/tornado DDT, both moves that could have easily flopped. He turned up the sadism, dropping Reklusa on the apron with a package piledriver, and Reklusa's bumping was really good throughout, taking some really tough spills and getting up each time. They even used the ball kick - the one I railed against earlier due to how sloppy and half-hearted it was used in the Matanza/Taya match - effectively here, making it look like Reklusa really could beat Pentagon. The match ending package piledriver was insane, genuinely looked like Pentagon's goal was to break the ring with Reklusa's head. This could be the best Lucha Underground match to feature someone who will only be in one Lucha Underground match.

TL: I actually haven't seen much of Chelsea's work, although I know she has a good presence and she's extremely athletic from the clips of hers I've seen. Love the plancha to start! You can also add, "Will recklessly take bumps on her tailbone on the apron" to that list. Dear God that's sick. Even when Pentagon goes on offense and he looks a bit more fired up than usual, Reklusa is selling like a QUEEN for him, glassy eyed, wobbly kneed, and actually making the sound effects seem worthwhile. And then she hits a goddamn rana from the top to the floor and follows up with Candice LeRae's tope con tornado DDT. This has been the Reklusa show and Penta is totally along for the ride, but I'll give him credit that he's at least bringing it more than he has in other matches this season. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that folks are kicking out of package piledrivers on the apron and Canadian Destroyers, but at least there was finality with the Fear Factor to finish. I now want to seek out more Chelsea Green, incredibly impressive stuff. Get her on NXT TV immediately. Dug the post-match angle, too, as Marty looked like he stepped out of a Creed video to absolve Penta of his sins. Absolutely wild how the intergender main events have killed it these last couple weeks. They've been the best part of the season by far to me. Somehow don't think Ricky/Taya will keep that run going.

COMPLETE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND

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Matches from PCW ULTRA No Quarter 8/9/19

Mil Muertes vs. Dan Maff

PAS: Muertes has the PCW title, and this was an expected Boricua slug fest. Muertes has a great short punch and he and Maff pounded on each other, including Maff getting thrown over the guardrail into some chairs, and exchanging chair shots in the ring. Maff landed some real rib smushing sentons too. There was a bit too much hitting and staring while the guy you hit made faces, and I didn't love the finish with Muertes semi-no selling a burning hammer just to hit his flatliner for the pin. Still I dig both of these guys and will always be into a big boy fist fight.

ER: This is an on paper dream match that hadn't ever actually crossed my mind, two guys I always enjoy who have never been working the same place, so this is something that really leapt out at me. And then they make it the opening match on a card filled with constant movement guys! If Warbeast vs. Outlaw Inc. wasn't bookending this card I could have seen showing up for this one and then beating traffic by 2 hours. I liked this a lot more than Phil, I think this totally delivered on its on paper potential. I wanted a big boy slugfest, I got a big boy slugfest, and I honestly didn't notice any of the problems that Phil did. I thought they kept a great pace and impressively ramped things up without approaching overkill. They filled the match with hard standing lariats, big shots in the corner, Maff had some brutal sentons and cannonballs, Muertes brought big arm strikes and a nicely set up lungblower, I thought the whole thing ruled. Maff took a big bump into the front row, both guys beat each other up with chairs, it felt like the best Lucha Underground match that never happened. I was totally fine with how Muertes treated the burning hammer, as they established that Maff had trouble getting him up for it, and Muertes took it as a stomach bump rather than vertically. I liked him taking it lighter but still needing to barely get a hand on the rope to break it, showing that even when not dropped vertically it still came this close to putting him away. And it played nicely into him reversing it and landing on his knees moments later. I thought this was a damn cool first time match, delivering on its potential.

60. Tessa Blanchard vs. Sumie Sakai

ER: Hell yes this ruled. This was some great ass kicking at an awesome pace, and I thought it nailed a classic 90s GAEA feel. Both gals threw fists, and both leaned into feet and fists, and it was all so great. Tessa punched her right in the mouth early on, they traded sharp angles, and Tessa dropped her with one of the nicest cutters I've seen. They had me hooked quick. Tessa came off like a badass in the moments she was getting her face busted open, and the moments she paid Sakai back. Sakai threw a nice beating her way, busting open her nose, stomping all over her in the ring and on the floor, rubbing her boot on her jaw, throwing a missile dropkick right at her face, and then stretching her with a lengthy Indian deathlock. Tessa is always a heel for great reason: I can't think of many wrestlers who read more "heel" than her in 2019. She comes off mean, and this was a cool glimpse of her showing vulnerability while roaring throw the pain. I thought her selling in the Indian deathlock really started to put this match on the next level. Her screams as Sakai pulled her arm back and the wide eyed panic with bloody nose, she saw that blood and she worked with it. She also has this way of going on a real furious comeback, and doing it with babyface energy, but still coming off like a clear heel. Her comeback shots after taking a long beating were great, really looked 1.5 speed in her quick violence. The kicks landed fast and didn't feel locked into combos, and Sakai winning felt like a great moment. Her winning cradle looked like an absolutely impossible trap to escape from, and I loved how she held the cradle past the 3 count, as if she was just as tangled into the pin. The chemistry between them was great, I totally bought into everything they did.

PAS: I haven't thought about Sumie Sakai in years, but I have seen two bangers in the last month (this match and her Bloodsport match). I agree with Eric about how great Blanchard was in this match, she is really great at conveying disdain and that disdain makes the post match handshake a bigger deal. I thought the near fall on the jumping chestcracker was pretty great (although that is a very 2012 IWRG finisher). Sakai's kickout seemed huge, and I liked how that brief shock Tessa had allowed Sakai to hit that awesome cradle for the win. Good stuff, and I need to look for more from both ladies.

47. Eddie Kingston/Homicide vs. Warbeast (Jacob Fatu/Josef Samael)

PAS: This is the stuff right here. Homicide is at his best when he can let his inner psychopath fly, and he jams Josef Samael's face into thumbtacks, stabs him with a fork and hangs him with a chain. They work this as a NYC invasion into California and are working straight heel which is fun to watch. Kingston wanders around the arena talking shit to fans and hitting Fatu with chairs, he also takes a huge thrown Samoan drop through a door which was the biggest bump of the match. Kind of weird to see Warbeast work as babyfaces, but it works surprisingly well. Finish was a no contest with NYC hanging Samael and leaving him laying and bleeding. We get a post match challenge for a Samael and Homicide dog collar match and a Fatu vs. Eddie I Quit match, both of which I am very excited for. This match was JAPW as fuck, which is something I both miss and love.

ER: This kind of felt like an XPW brawl, as you had guys disappearing for minutes at a time, and other guys doing super violent stuff that most people in the crowd wouldn't have even been able to see. It doesn't get much cooler than Kingston/Homicide as invaders, and I like seeing Warbeast as crazed local babyfaces. I love the unhinged babyface as a wrestling character, but it can be done pretty poorly; not here. Fatu is working a 'round the venue garbage brawl while barefoot, total insanity, stubbed toes just waiting to happen. But it doesn't slow down any part of his attack, as he's still falling to the floor, wastes Kingston through a table with the alley oop Samoan drop, and had several moments of popping into frame with a nicely timed punch to the neck. Samael takes some cruel punishment, with Homicide digging a fork into his head (Homicide should keep getting fatter and just spend the next years being the new Abby), grossly hanging him over the ropes with a chain, and my favorite spot: smacking him face first into some thumbtacks on a chair. Fatu even throws thumbtacks at Homicide's face! Kingston is endlessly entertaining in these kind of brawls, impossible to not watch as he swears at people, swears at getting hit, and then grabs body parts and yells. The finish was more to set up a pair of intriguing stips matches, and yeah Kingston and Fatu disappeared through a big chunk of the middle, but this should be the start of something awesome.


2019 MOTY MASTER LIST

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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 16: Kill Mil

ER: Weekly reminder of just how awful every part of the Antonio Cueto character is.

TL: Oh man. So...you are a show that caters basically exclusively to hardcore fans. You then have MATT STRIKER READ A PREPARED STATEMENT to set up the main even that night? Over a highlight package? I mean...I never thought I'd say this, but Vampiro saying, "You say something? We got things to do!" after that was the best. Thank God for Vampiro. Praise Vampiro.

Jack Evans vs. Matanza

ER: This was pretty silly. I'm not sure what kind of character Evans is working, as he did a bunch of dialed to 10 mic work where he was just yelling annoying sounds and acting like a real goofball. Cool? Then he does a comical Mr. Furley stumbly run up the stairs only to run away from Matanza and get tripped by Antonio Cueto's cane. They're going for Looney Tunes vibes but also very serious Evans-will-leave-The-Temple-in-a-body-bag vibes and it doesn't really work. Evans vs. Matanza is a damn fun pairing, but this isn't that. This is Evans wide eyed running from Matanza, getting tossed a couple times, coming back briefly to hit a fantastic 630...only to see Matanza instantly shrug it off and hit the Tour of the Temple. This could have been a the best possible style clash, instead we had to pretend Jack Evans was suddenly a guy who couldn't wrestle very well.

TL: Jack Evans continues to be awesome on the mic, Antonio Cueto continues to be a terrible caricature in place of an actual good on-screen authority figure. Jack plays up the horror movie vibes better than most by knocking on the door to the entrance ramp only to be out of luck. Jack getting to run around a bit and be evasive only to eventually fall after a valiant effort is at least a good version of this match, but I would have liked a more competitive match between these two because it would have been good to watch. Evans rag dolling for peak Samoa Joe back in the ROH days was fantastic to see; him doing the same for Matanza would have ruled, too. Alas, all this for a cheap pop to hear Antonio warble about human sacrifice. I mean, literally seven months ago on WM weekend, a dude has his throat slit on stage during the absolutely terrible Blackcraft show. If you're gonna kill someone on a wrestling show, at least make it campy as fuck.

XO Lishus/Ivelisse/Joey Ryan vs. Jeremiah Snake/Daga/Kobra Moon

ER: This was rough in just about every way. Sloppy as hell, not a lot of build, just a mess of a match. Xo Lishus was probably the lone highlight; I love the snap he gets on things like armdrags, and really I just love the snap he puts on everything. Ivelisse has one of the more embarrassing hot tags of recent memory and later hits a slow motion cannonball off the apron. Daga even trips on the ropes getting into the ring. Striker calls Jeremiah Snake "this generation's most controversial athlete", which does sound much more intriguing than "some guy that a lot of people wish would just go away because they don't dig his fucking vibe" which is the reality. This was as skippable as it gets.

TL: Killer Kross as the White Rabbit is a good fit for the promotion; hope he calls out Big Dave in a knock off Tower of Doom match by season's end. The match itself was basically a mid-tier trios pairing with folks thinking up "creative" spots only for them to not land clean. XO probably looked the best in the match, Joey's shtick continues to be tired, Crane's descent to complete irrelevance continues. Daga with a weird Toryumon double arm-bar to finish. Kross and London stand idly by for the most part while Bunny gets the offense post-match, and I'm baffled again. This fed, folks.

Nunchuck Match: Aerostar/Drago vs. Jake Strong

ER: I'm a big fan of stupid stips matches, and a 2 on 1 handicap nunchucks match would certainly qualify as stupid, but Strong isn't a good enough stooge to make the nunchucks portion of this match interesting. We get the fun visual of actual nunchuck retrieval at the top of the Temple steps. At one point Aerostar and Drago pose as two children trying to sneak into an R rated movie wearing a very long trenchcoat, beating Jake with nunchucks. But Strong just kind of stands there and takes a dozen nunchuck shots, like he couldn't go anywhere. Every other time he took nunchuck shots he would just awkwardly bend over to take them, just poking his butt out. To put over a nunchuck shot you really need that scaled dog reaction, needs some hopping, some yelping, some fleeing; Ol' Jake Strong just behaved like he was in a very specific BDSM video. There were individual great moments, like Strong's vicious gutwrench powerbomb, or Aerostar's no hands springboard splash, but this didn't work as well as it could have.

TL: NUNCHUKS MATCH. I need Sleazy E out here in an exhibition at least. Jake Strong being treated as a top guy in AEW right now is still absolutely baffling to me (and he hasn't even wrestled a match!!!) but he's been at least a little bit entertaining taking on all the low-tier juniors, which should prepare him well for AEW. It's at least something that uses the gimmick well, even if the gimmick itself is terrible. The crowd chants "This is awesome!" for some reason, possibly the nadir of the chant, or maybe they're in on the joke. But let's point out what these guys did in their seven minutes: They had huge bumps, they laid shit in, and they went out there to maximize an absolutely limiting gimmick. I'm writing this match up as it happens, not after the fact, and this is actually becoming one of the great shitty gimmick matches LU has ever done. The finish was awesome stuff. They also 100% went early on the bone break sound effect. I am going to look back on this fondly as one of the great examples of everything both bad and good about LU: The gimmick is terrible, the entire setup is basically shit. But guys went out there and killed it, did everything they could to maximize what they were given, and somehow, someway, production values made it look not nearly as good as it could have. I can't think of a single 15-minute segment in any LU show that captures all that. Amazing stuff.

Mil Muertes vs. King Cuerno vs. Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: This didn't add up to a ton, made everyone except Pentagon feel super marginalized, which is a repeat trend for PPP. We also got some more Fenix coming out to assault Melissa Santos, which is great because then he will still wrestle the same way and get cheered for his cool spots, so what is actually the point of doing that kind of storyline? It does lead to our no close second greatest part of the match, when Dragon Azteca hits an incredible tope con giro over the ringpost, crashing both of them into the announce table. Awesome, awesome spot. I have to assume the rest of this was mangled by hasty editing, because the only other option was that it was mangled by foolish match layout: Cuerno hit his big tope into Pentagon and Muertes, except Pentagon was back up to the apron as quickly as Cuerno, only for both of them to be hit by a Muertes spear to knock them off the apron. So either Pentagon sold a Cuerno tope - treated like a major move for much of the series - by immediately leaping up to the apron, while Muertes sold it by running to the other side of the Temple to get in the ring for his spear...or the editing was so trash that it just made the wrestlers look like trash. Neither is a good look.

TL: Things I knew were going to happen before this match started: Muertes was gonna rule ass for a few minutes, Penta was definitely going to be on the outside in a 4-way match when you shouldn't have any downtime due to the fact everyone can at least face someone, Cuerno was gonna hit his tope, Dragon was gonna out-effort everyone. AND THEN HE DOES THAT CORNER DIVE. HOLY SHIT. It's weird to think a match like this is so methodically paced, but that's LU for you. Willie Mack coming back to cost Mil the match was a cool twist. And then of course Penta wins. Muertes taking the fall was surprising but I guess if they're pairing folks off, Mack/Muertes in a deathmatch should be fun, at least. Match was 100% a mean multi-man LU match. Like Eric said: Production here was really off again, selling was off all around. Again, I feel like there's just a lot of things that are supposedly creative but done in a way that doesn't play to anyone's strengths. It used to be the hallmark of this show but now it seems like that's all gone by the wayside. Really rough to see at this point. Azteca/Fenix has a chance to be good, Mack/Muertes could be a defining match for two guys I thoroughly enjoyed in this fed, and Penta somehow ending up the last LU champ will be fitting in a way because they really had nobody else to go to, it seems. Maybe they'll still surprise me. Who knows.



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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 15: The Hunted

ER: We still have EIGHT episodes of this show left before it's all done. Forever. I think the last time I watched anything from season 4 was at least 8 months ago. This episode aired 13 months ago! I was not enjoying the season, I do not remember much about the season, I don't remember the feuds and stories...but I feel too close to the finish line to not write up every remaining episode. We're 94% of the way home. Why not finish this, he said, trying to convince himself.

TL: The worst thing that could happen to our assessment of Lucha Underground in this, the supposed New Boom Period of 2019, is that everything becomes incredibly dated IMMEDIATELY. Nearly every major player involved in this show has become a completely different (and in the majority of cases, bigger) persona aside from this in the eight months since we last reviewed an episode. When it was cool to see Prince Puma and Ricochet separately or Cobb and Matanza separately, the luster that LU once had makes it legitimately weird to see everyone used here compared to how they're used now. Without question, I don't think there's anyone on this show in the final eight weeks that we watch (EIGHT. MORE. SHOWS. WE CAN DO THIS.) where I'm going to come away thinking, "LU legitimately was the best thing the guy was ever a part of." That's an absolutely strange coda on a show that had some of the best non-major talents in the world on it and was thought of as a true alternative less than half a decade ago. In its defense? It has not resorted to needing to be taped via iPhone stream on Twitch before their "biggest show of the year," so at least that's something. I almost feel like that's how I'm going to watch these shows as we finish up; just comparisons to how LU shortchanged them and how much better they are now.

Except Mil Muertes. If there's one good thing to take away from the legacy of this show, Mil Muertes is a stone cold all-timer. And even THEN. Mesias in PR/AAA was insane. "All that glitters is not gold" as the yacht rockers say. Or Aristotle. One of them.

ER: We CAN do this. Should we do this? Does anyone care if we do this? Probably not. But we're finishing this stupid thing that I started.


Fenix vs. Aerostar

ER: This was actually a nice match to jump me back into the LU home stretch. The finish couldn't have been lazier, but I was really digging this up until that point. Fenix was bumping around big for Aerostar and Aerostar was getting plenty of chances to show off his specific set of skills. He hits an insane dive to the floor where not only does he not use his hands, he has his hands behind his back! He got huge distance, really missile launching himself into Fenix. I also dug later when Fenix ran him the length of the ring, hard into the railing. Fenix staggers amusingly into position after a flipping piledriver, and it's totally worth it as Aerostar hits a killer springboard DDT that Fenix spikes wonderfully for. They got way too SFX heavy on all of Aerostar's yakuza kicks, 7 straight kicks and all of them had that silly slap sound. But I liked Aerostar's makeshift code red after all of them, and I liked how Fenix leaned into the kicks. Now, the finish is real uninspired, as Fenix just decides that the match is going to be over, throws a couple of nice open hand chops (including a real nasty slap right to Aerostar's prone stomach), hits a dropkick off the middle rope that seems like he took the worst of, and then hits a driver for the uncontested finish. I really hate when a guy just decides to come back and then goes right to the finishing sequence after being dominated for several minutes. However, Fenix's spinkick to Dragon Azteca Jr. post match look fantastic.

TL: Fenix walks slowly and wears black so you know he's a heel when he comes out, but I'm getting some really heavy Killshot vibes here and that's not a compliment. There's some good things he can do as a heel; his insane athleticism and kinetic energy means he can make some simple offense really dynamic. His pump kick is killer here and that corner spin kick landed flush. My favorite move he did in the match was that dropkick on the apron that was Shinjiro Otani-esque. When he's been more of a heel with Pentagon before, it hasn't been like this, and while it's not completely fleshed out or, you know, really that good, the flashes you get are still intriguing. Aerostar hits the majority of his spots really well as per usual, the no-hands dive was absolutely insane (followed by Fenix sitting up like some drunk Taker cosplayer), but this was right smack dab in the middle of the LU house style for me. The post match was actually well done (outside of the ACTING by Melissa) and Dragon Azteca, Jr. took his beating like a king.

Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Marty The Moth Martinez

ER: Oh wow, forgot all about The Moth. I'm pretty sure he has wrestled about as often post-Lucha Underground as I have written about Lucha Underground. Is he even in wrestling at this point? Has he somehow been the only wrestler still affected by the obnoxious LU contracts? He was a guy I really grew to like on LU, and here I am reminded why. He takes a big looping DA DDT right on his forehead, and takes a big damn bump over the top to the floor. Azteca is selling the beating the Fenix gave him before the match, which only made him doing iffy kick combos seem even more dumb. There was plenty of light on the kicks from both guys, but they were only giving the hand slap FX to Azteca, which just made his strikes look worse.

TL: Marty's control sequence here isn't much to really go on about. Azteca comes back and hits pescado con tijeras and then a fantastic somersault dive over the corner and it at least picks up a bit after that. And then it ends???? What a strange end to the match. I don't know who's booking the finishes tonight but they are absolutely discombobulated and sudden and don't make sense. Marty's gonna want Penta again so the cards have been shown a bit here. I'm not sure how much I'm looking forward to that particular match.

ER: Dario's...uncle? father? is just as stupid as I remember. What a tremendously bad idea that was, to take the far and away most interesting character on the show and make him do an atrociously bad voice.

TL: The White Rabbit as Morpheus using Anton Chigurhisms? Sure. El Bunny is an objectively funny lucha handle, though. Paul London continues to shine as the brightest light amongst the darkness this season.


King Cuerno vs. Mil Muertes vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: This match was really fun when they were on the floor, and kind of a mess whenever they were in the ring. They muddled their way somewhat awkwardly through "3 guys hitting each other at once" spots, but things pick up nicely when Pentagon hits a big tope con giro, accidentally chops the ringpost trying a follow up attack to Muertes, and gets nailed by a great Cuerno tope while recoiling from that chop. Pentagon also gets tossed into the upper level fans, taking a cool bump. The in ring is messy. Cuerno hits a too obvious thigh slap knee (it must be muscle memory to do those, because the guys should know that LU is going to sweeten the sound for them), Pentagon whiffs on a backcracker that Muertes still sells (smart move by production to shift to the overhead camera for that one), and the whole thing wraps up pretty quickly for the names involved. Muertes couldn't feel much more like an afterthought, and that feels downright crazy to me if you've watched the other seasons.

TL: Even I though I hate the stip, I find myself enjoying Mil in three-way matches because he's both incredibly good at taking offense and conversely looking like a monster. That's how this starts and it's fun to watch. Penta hitting a dive early??? Okay, if he's here to work, I'll give him my attention. I thought he would full on Lazy Muta this but he's come to play in this one. Mil then turns into the monster he is on the outside with a sick standing spear and then hip tossing Penta over the guardrail. Hey, if you want to take part of the match off, you better take a hell of a bump in exchange. Then when he gets back in he hits some sub-Rollins level sling blades, proving some things never change. And then the run of shit finishes continues as Mil hits his awesome choke slam, waits for some reason, then Penta hits two backcrackers before spinning a kick into the Fear Factor. When Mil was on offense and basically made Penta step up a bit to match him, this was great. Outside of the dive, Cuerno was just another guy to take the fall.


Pentagon Dark vs. Marty The Moth Martinez

ER: Marty won the Gift of the Gods title from Dragon Azteca earlier, and he bargains with Antonio Cueto to get a same night title match. And they put the title on The Moth!!! That rules. That's like some dope 1990 AWA behavior and I am here for it. The match wasn't much - Pentagon had several nice moments in the prior match but felt like a guy losing a title match here - but Chelsea Green runs out and kicks Pentagon right in the balls, and I am giddy at them putting the title on Moth. The fans seem pissed, and now I am genuinely excited at the prospect of the final episodes of the LU run being them only pushing guys who were not actively trying to work whatever weird definition of "opposition shows" LU was pissed about. Let's make this a Moth/Paul London show from here on out!!

TL: The first thing that came to mind when Papa Cueto said Marty could cash in was when Damien Sandow cashed in on Cena. Of course, both guys here are worse than both guys there, and that's Sandow we're talking about. Sooooooo, all that protecting of Pentagon being booked only to have him lose to Marty? That's a hell of a joke to play on Penta for chasing Tony Khan's money. HA! I was trying to figure out who that was and it was Chelsea Green! Awesome. Good for her getting some run here. I'm with Eric. Bring on the non-muckrakers, man. STRAP UP BIG BAD STEVE.


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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 14: Pet Cemetary

TL: Eric sent me this review literally five weeks ago and I haven't even begun to get to it. Between the holidays, a trip to New Orleans where I dressed up as a banana on New Years Eve and was the talk of Bourbon Street, a new job at a place I actually love working at, moving into a new place for the first time in almost a damn decade, and my waning love for a product I once fervently enjoyed, I held this up probably longer than I should have. I'll take the L on this one, as the kids say. However, I will say that I'm seeing this out to the bitter end. I will find the love where I can.

Ivelisse vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: I thought this was really great, probably my favorite LU match of the season, and that is an unexpected thing. It told such a fine story and was a really fantastic babyface performance from Ivelisse. It really had a great pull and in a fed that hasn't done a great job building to triumphant title victories, midway through this I was genuinely interested in rooting Ivelisse to victory. That's special whenever it happens. Ivelisse has been dealt kind of a bum wrap due to injuries. She's had two big injuries that happened right when she was getting big momentum and they cut her right off. After this performance I thought she would make a great choice for a Mae Young Classic deep run. Rachel was watching this with me and sometimes she pays attention, sometimes she doesn't (though she seems to pay attention the most during women's matches), but midway through this match she says, "Hey she's really good. I forgot we were watching a man vs. woman match." It's not that she's bridging the gap with power spots, but she's working like a fun Rey Mysterio underdog and her execution lands heavy enough that the weight difference is plausible. Her strikes look good, her headscissors and armdrags have good pull, and I like her crisscross stuff off the ropes. She has really expressive reactions and it was awesome to see this big babyface performance on TV without it getting into overly emotional Gargano territory. Azteca played his part well, he didn't work this as a heavy breathing try hard babyface, he worked subtle heel and he did it well. It would have been easy to chicken out and work face vs. face but he was kind of a dick, not hesitating to work snug with a lady, doing cool little things like whipping her arm into the mat. This was really good, and I really hope this is a star making moment for Ivelisse. The fans have been over the top for her since the beginning, and fuck it, let her get imbued with some kind of paranormal super powers and have her destroy Penta H in the series finale. It's all I want now.

TL: I like Azteca and feel like Ivelisse can be good in small doses, but reading Eric's first sentence made me take pause. I mean, he said himself it was unexpected, so that means I get to look at this in a totally different manner than he did. Totally expected, if you will. Vampiro putting Dragon Azteca "Between #1 and #2" on his Best in the World list is certainly a take, hope he puts in a #WDKW100 ballot. I do like Azteca basing for Ivelisse early, as her arm drags are actually really fluid and her lucha background is sound. The match itself is really basic, but well done. Azteca has good cutoffs, good snap on his offense, deep submissions, and it amplifies Ivelisse's offense. I'm starting to see why Eric enjoyed this match so much. That DDT off the ropes was nasty and Azteca took it on the dome. This is so much different than your normal LU match where folks are trying to get in ridiculous moves for two counts. These two are simplifying things and it's making the bigger moves mean that much more. Right on cue, Azteca doing the damn Pillman bump off the stair rail on his missed dive was disgusting. The stretch run from there is really fun, as Ivelisse expands on her fun offense and Azteca doing simple reversals gives it more impact. Yeah, that was a great match. I'd have to think a bit on whether it's the match of the season so far, but that match had absolutely no reason to be that good and it overdelivered. The improvement Ivelisse has shown after her injury riddled third season is noticeable. She can go. Really impressive showing here.

King Cuerno vs. Mil Muertes

ER: I thought this was money too, even if Cuerno has lost significant luster since season 1. It's a big boy battle that only goes a few minutes before ending in a DQ (a LU rarity), but we get a tremendous Mil performance and a super fun slugfest finish. Cuerno felt on Mil's level a few seasons ago, a guy who could be the potential top guy in the fed, and while that feeling isn't really there for me anymore he's still a guy who makes a fun match for Mil. Mil's big right hand might be my favorite thing in the fed, and I loved him crushing Cuerno with corner lariats before dropping him with that right. But the big fireworks in this one happen once they both spill to the floor, as they do nothing more than throw punch combinations at each other. Stand and Trade is such a fickle thing for me, as it's kinda like art: I know I like it when I like it. Here I liked it, just two dudes landing big rights to the jaw, real nice worked punches that would have played well even without sound sweetening, both mixing it up with occasional body shots, some cool close up magic from both. Marty Elias tries to get them back in the ring and gets violently shoved into the front row of fans for the DQ, Elias taking a great backwards bump into the fans. This all worked for me.

TL: I'm surprised this didn't get saved until Ultima Lucha, honestly, as it really could have been built to another big match between these two who are a great pairing. I always gush on Muertes' offense, but everything he does in this setting looks so crisp. His working punch is tremendous, and then he throws these standing mounted punches that look like crap when other folks try them but he makes look good. Also gets to hit his snap powerslam and his awesome chokeslam, so I'm sufficiently entertained. This is being worked with urgency, which it should be considering their history, and I dig it. The punches they trade back and forth are fantastic, and they are absolutely hauling off on each other. Whenever the camera misses a cut on a punch and you see the impact, you can see just how they thud. I mean, I don't know who told them to go out and work a goddamn Lawler/Dundee match, but God bless whoever did. Digging the Double DQ because you could buy them tossing Marty Elias aside, but I don't like them getting "rewarded" by getting into a match with Triple P. Maybe his laziness will make him want to stand aside and let these two haul off on each other? Because that's what I want.

Aerostar/Drago/Fenix vs. The Reptile Tribe

ER: This was mostly a rush job to serve as a backdrop for a pretty - on the surface - pointless rudo turn from Fenix. I thought the match was going along fine until the silly turn, with Drago putting in a nice showing (good to see after his brutal performance against Jake Strong), getting launched into a cool dive by Fenix and hitting this trippy assisted headscissors out of the corner. Jeremiah Snake (ugh) had nice snap on his lariats and bumped big for the fliers. Everything was going fine. Then Fenix turned on Aerostar and made really made grouchy faces, and shoved Melissa to the ground. I think the Melissa/Fenix videos were among the best of those kind of vignettes they've done. They were silly, but silly in the way that I wanted, and always sweet. That's important. A turn this late in the game makes no sense, and I can't imagine anyone who was excited when seeing it happen. We'll see where it goes I guess, but this show is in the home stretch at this point, why end something like this on a sour note?

TL: I can buy Jake Strong taking on three dudes after his recent Bellator win where he looked like a goddamn machine so I'm all in on him calling folks out like that. Dark Fenix being an obvious foreshadowing for his eventual teaming up with his brother is a choice. This is my contractually obligated sentence where I talk about how I miss Pindar. Daga started working Dragon Gate recently. He's no Adam Mayhem, but at least his offense has a bit more snap to it. Really odd to see this style of wrestling after a match featuring more traditional lucha and then an all-out brawl, so it's tough for me to get into it, but also, I like maybe, what, 2 people in this match? Fenix when he's on is damn good and I've seen Kobra work some great matches in tag teams in 2018. Dark Fenix's offensive outburst was tremendous and he's that much better than his brother's dark persona in all of 75 seconds. The heel control segments in this match just aren't engaging at all. Really think this should have been worked as more of a sprint. Aerostar hits a nice Silver King dive, Dragon hits that vaulted tornillo, and then Fenix does the turn given away by his black outfit. Because that means he's evil. I agree with Eric: Losing Fenix/Melissa is a huge blow for this series' production values and for love in general. Because getting the Lucha Bros. together in LU is more important than love, I guess. It's not at all. Not even a little bit.

TL: Okay, this is an honest question: Does Antonio Cueto know how to open a beer bottle? Was that a hammer he was using to open his Modelo? Dying to know where Marty got all that cash, too. I know he's got "aztec blood" in him, but who's the benefactor giving him all that cash?

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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 11: Last Man or Machine Standing

ER: I kinda liked the sappy tenderness of the Melissa/Azteca opening, with Melissa getting one half of an Aztec Medallion. She needs to win one more challenge to get a full one, which she can then give to a Temple Guard for passage into the Shrine of the Silver Monkey.

TL: Eric normally gets to write his reviews first and then I get to add my thoughts in (normally blind, but if the point is good enough, I’ll amend it to respond). He goes right for the Legends of the Hidden Temple joke with the half medallion. This is why we’re friends. Ya’ll think I’m joking about trying to turn SC into a Game Show Blog. We’re gonna get the Buzzr sponsorship and everything. Next level stuff.

Haunted House Match: The Mack vs. Mil Muertes

ER: These are two of my absolute favorites in the fed, so I figured it would not have much chance of living up to my internal hype, and they spent too much time with goofiness for it to ever get close to the level of violence in the best Muertes LU brawls. I don't know why they felt like airing this "Haunted House" in August, or why these two just couldn't have a cage match. Instead we got some nasty bumps, but also weapons that were too extreme to actually use them properly. So you had Mack getting smashed shoulders first on a powerslam, but then you have Muertes using a crowbar as a weapon in the least effective way you could use a crowbar as a weapon; or Muertes making a massive dent in the cage by spearing Mack into it, but then getting a fucking KNIFE while Vampiro and Striker start panicking and flipping out with "Oh my god he's got a KNIFE!" screaming...and then Muertes hits Mack with...the handle of the knife. What? Mack comes up with no cut but a big old blood packet face. "Blood is everywhere, it's all over Muertes!" as this weird paint colored blood is strictly on Mack's face. There were cool big moments like Muertes hitting a great spinebuster through a table, and the absolutely bonkers finish with Muertes hitting a brutal DDT off the top through a table...but then you also had Muertes struggling and taking too long to get his leg over the top of the cage for a crossbody while Vampiro talks about how he's never seen someone climb a cage faster. And as much as I love Mack, him coming back for deadly revenge and hitting a few Stunners is just not going to seem cool in a "bloody" brawl. There was too many cheesy props (and I'm not even complaining about the pumpkin, because it probably would hurt to get hit with a pumpkin), and I think if they went more serious and actually treated it like a blood feud it could have been damn good and maybe our first List match from LU this season.

TL: It’s refreshing to see a wrestling organization go after a holiday-themed episode a little differently. WWE does Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas episodes in such a kitschy manner that it’s rarely entertaining, but having this style of cage match, with all the weapons and the kooky decorations, gives it a setting that comes off as 100% authentic for a show on a network run by Robert Rodriguez. There’s even a SICKLE on the damn cage. Also, considering the participants, this is basically an LU dream match for me, so hopefully this lives up to the hype.

The Melissa/Katrina stuff before the match started was I guess necessary? If It means we get another Fenix/Muertes match down the line, count me in. This match starts in an interesting way: Mack doesn’t go after the weapons at all, trying to work the match straight, whereas Muertes, LU Deathmatch king, is out here using all the weapons he can. He also throws his fantastic spinning chokeslam so I’m loving this early, probably a bit more than Eric did. I’m guessing the cage was actually supposed to give way more than it did on the spear spot, But then we get back in and, well, Mil Muertes starts actually using a goddamn knife in a match. He actually stabbed and sliced a guy on the side of his head. I watched Mance Warner imply he’d use a knife in a match at the August SUP show, but the environment was such that it came off as more whimsical than threatening; a comedy spot from a madman. This, though, wow. An actual knife being used in a match in 2018. And yeah, it looked weird; the blood was lighter than the juice from my Stark’s Steakhouse ribeye from the other night. The finish was suitably nasty, but I agree with Eric: This didn’t seem like the match it should have been in this environment. I did like a good chunk of it, but this could have been better had Mack worked this more like a brawl instead of working his usual Mack stuff into the match. Also, you know, had Muertes used the sickle instead of the knife. Go the full Mr. Pogo, man.

Jake Strong vs. Aerostar

ER: I had just watched the really good Jake Hager/Tom Lawlor match from MLW before this, and Aerostar is just a bad match for Jake. Aerostar opted to stand and strike instead of try a bunch of crazy flying body attacks or something, and none of his strikes looked very good, throwing some so so punches at Strong's torso and hitting unconvincing leg kicks. Strong didn't look as impressive as he's been looking, because Aerostar didn't really look impressive. It was too much of a squash, and Aerostar can be in cooler stuff than getting run over by this guy. We don't need this to be a 1998 WCW throwback with Hugh Morrus squashing Villano V.

TL: Jack Swagger worked Rey Mysterio and the matches were fun, but that was against perhaps the greatest babyface of all time. If we’re going WCW in 1998, Aerostar is basically Lizmark, Jr. here, and Swagger can’t even be bothered to be Perry Saturn. Nunchuks scaring off a dude who’s about to do a Bellator fight? I guess?

ER: Well another character died. That's the...third death this season? This is starting to feel like it's going to ramp up to the last season of Oz levels where they just started murdering a couple of guys per episode.

TL: The killing of Not Paul Heyman isn’t even a Top 10 death in the show’s history and is of so little consequence that it matters even less in the grand scheme of things. In a show where Lorenzo Lamas gets his eyeball ripped out of his head and a mini gets sacrificed by bludgeoning, a knockoff Chucky doll making a madman kill folks comes off as incredibly tryhard. Also, folks are literally getting sacrificed in the middle of the ring this season; feels like something that needs to happen in Orlando with some folks who have been down there a few years too many.

Last Man Standing Match: Cage vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: I have made so many terrible choices this year that I keep watching and writing about companies who use Pentagon. I've written up like 60 Pentagon matches and watched more, and I definitely have nothing new to say about them at this point. And I'm already thinking that *before* Striker starts telling Bible stories. This is the further HHHing of Pentagon, and it's getting fairly insufferable, though probably not yet to Sexy Star levels (now why the hell did we all waste time watching *that*?). Cage gets to show off early, and things peak with Cage hitting a monstrous suplex from the middle rope through a table at ringside. But moments later, after taking what looked on film to be an insane bump, Pentagon just goes on his death tear, hitting Cage with chairshots and a hard trash can and trash can lid. We hit peak "is it worth it?" stupidity when Cage for reasons no rational person could accept, opts to take a Mexican Destroyer off the top rope through a set up table. WHY?? This naturally does not end the match. Pentagon immediately rolls out of the ring after hitting that huge move, and starts loading the ring with chairs. Yes, we were supposed to think that he was getting the next killshot ready in case the monster wasn't really dead, but Pentagon is so sluggish he makes it so the biggest move of the season doesn't have any drama, telegraphing that it wasn't really the finish. Also, to do such a wild table breaking move off the top rope is just incredibly dumb to do on the same episode where you have the OTHER biggest top rope move through a table spot of the season. Who opted to air those matches 20 minutes apart? They also chose to have Melissa Santos get roughed up and smashed into the cage by Catrina the same episode as hapless Jewish lawyer gets stabbed in the neck and gurgles his life away while we get more creepy doll murder talk. Who's going to be thinking about Melissa eating a beating at this point? Pentagon even gets to break Cage's arm, and it really is ridiculous the level they are sacrificing everyone to the altar of Pentagon. He does get fantastic reactions, and does take risks, but man he's more dominant than early Matanza at this point. Where do you go from here?

TL: The range for LMS matches I’ve watched in 2018 means this will land between Charlotte/Becky Lynch (Very good) and Gargano/Ciampa (Not at all good not even for a minute). The issue with this match, as Eric alluded to, is Triple P, and if this is one of those 20/80 matches where Cage dominates but Pentagon pulls it out, well, I’m prepared for it. I won’t like it at all, but at least I know not to be surprised. Hilariously, on the same show where an actual knife gets used, the broken bottle slicing open Pentagon was at least a marked improvement. We don’t need unprotected chair shots in 2018. Or garbage can shots. Both guys take moves through tables off the apron and get up and don’t sell a goddamn thing. Then Cage hits the Drill Claw, probably the most protected finish in LU, and not only does Penta survive it, he’s the first on offense. Even more egregious than doing the Mexican Destroyer off the top in the first place is Pentagon GOING TO GET STUFF DURING THE COUNT. Doesn’t even pretend that was good enough to finish. Kill the destroyer dead. It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s essentially a superkick. The finishing sequence is maddening to me. Can't break Cage's arm at all? Then break BOTH his arms. Yes, the cinder block is something Cage dealt with before and was the Only Way To Put Him Down For Good. C’mon now.

Okay: The psychological argument for everything here is that Cage, by taking all that punishment and having been portrayed as essentially a cyborg, needed to have all that done to him to put him down for good. It’s the same idea behind the Joey Lynch/PCO finish from SCI Night 2 this year. Excess of violence in the face of insurmountable odds. PCO took a Destroyer off the top and then Lynch needed four superkicks and seven moonsaults to put him down. Seeing it live, it was easy to get caught up in the moment, and PCO in 2018 essentially is Frankenstein. The problem is that later that night, Lynch didn’t need nearly as much to win in the final. It felt truncated in a way, like the PCO match existed in a completely different universe, and it took away from the impact of what was supposed to be the Most Important Moment Of The Night. While that didn’t happen in this particular match, what DID happen is exactly what Eric said: You’ve gone to a point so far ahead of the natural progression of a title reign that now, Triple P is gonna look like a dumbass when he does lose the belt in some haphazard way. This is “protecting” the character at the expense of literally the entire universe the match takes place in; mutually assured destruction via suicide. It doesn't matter that Pentagon went through all this to keep the belt, or that Cage needed to take that much punishment to stay down for a 10 count. It's gonna be happenstance as soon as Pentagon slips on that banana peel.

We’re halfway through the season but somehow, someway, for a 22-episode run, the first 11 eps have felt much, much longer than that. And now we have a wedding to look forward to next week and both the two people getting married and the person most likely to intervene and cause shenanigans have killed people this season. If there isn’t a death during the wedding, I’d call it the upset of the season.

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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 5: Sacrificio

TL: Vampiro Fashion Update: Palm Beach, Florida area retiree who spends every afternoon during the week at a Perkin’s knockoff for happy hour.

Cortez Castro vs. Matanza

ER: Castro's identity as a cop is now common knowledge (though it was amusing to see people in the Temple reacting to Cueto's news with shock). It feels like we've known this for several years now, and now we know that a Cueto knows, and really that should have lead to an in-ring murder. The fact that newly re-monstered Matanza did not murder an undercover cop in the Temple feels a bit like, ahem, a cop out.

TL: So, let me get this straight: Papa Cueto knew he was a cop? And had sources? And didn’t tell his son? Cold-blooded. But hey, it leads to Matanza almost over-rotating on a Wrath of the Gods. Pay windah. Don’t get paid by the hour. If you love something, don’t do it for free. (In this case, the thing Matanza loves is murder) These are all sayings that make sense for this match.

Joey Ryan vs. Ivelisse

ER: Glad we can edit in absurd sound effects for Ivelisse's strikes, but we can't edit out a guy trying to start a "Suck his dick" chant. Eva Lease pulls off the Eva Marie look much better than Eva Marie, looks cool on her. I'm over Joey Ryan's shtick, and I'm pretty over intergender matches, and I'm completely over intergender matches with Joey Ryan. So we get plenty of attention on Ryan's lollipop getting placed in his trunks, we get a zoom in on Ivelisse's during an armbar, we get Joey trying to make Ivelisse touch his dick and later we get Ryan trying to force her to lick his lollipop. Derp derp derp. The wrestling within the match was fine, I like Ivelisse's energy and there were a couple fun lucha spots, but the size difference stuff does make it a little silly. Eh, it was fine.

TL: I’m trying to think of a match I don’t look forward to more than a Joey Ryan intergender match in 2018. I know that amongst the wrestlers of today, he’s very much respected because of the business he was able to bring in while working a super safe style, but it’s also a style that gets old very quickly. Plus, penis druids. Penis druids. An actual line said by Matt Striker in this match: “Ivellise reminding me of Antonio Inoki!” If there’s anything to take away in this match, I liked the suddenness of the finish. That’s all I got.

Killshot vs. Son of Havoc vs. The Mack

ER: Tecnico trios champs forced to fight each other in a triple threat in Lucha Underground? This doesn't sound like anything we've seen before! I warmed to this as the match went on, especially once Mack went on a rampage. Mack really should be at world title level, and really should be in NXT, and really would get over on the main brand. It's only a matter of time. He was awesome here, wiggling his belly while doing a top rope headstand, obliterating Havoc with a pounce (great sideways bump from Havoc too), hits a big dive, awesome high kick on Killshot, really just adds a ton of excitement to a match when he's flying around. Killshot as a character and as a wrestler I don't really get, his stuff looks more awkward than cool to me, and the character is just underbaked. Havoc is a really good guy to have in a match like this, so he's probably an undervalued guy in that sense (since LU loves this type of match). Glad Mack got the win.

TL: I like the stipulation of two medallions up for grabs because it actually puts an emphasis on not getting pinned, which makes the match more aggressive as a whole. It also, hilariously, makes the three-way stuff start to make sense: Nobody wants to be the guy on the wrong side of anything. The only time I enjoyed an opening mirror sequence in LU. You can tell Eric and I think much higher of Mack than LU does, it seems. But hey, gotta make sure Callihan keeps getting chances, I guess. As he normally does, Mack is the highlight of the match, but this time, my cynicism with a splash of optimism is not necessary because Mack actually wins???? Really hope he wins the belt and gets another shot. Loved the ending, too. Weird for me to come out of a three-way thinking it wasn’t anything more than eh, but this wasn’t too bad at all.

Mil Muertes vs. Cage

ER: Looking at the current LU roster and there might not be another match I'd want to see more, and it's kind of nuts that these two have only matched up a couple times. We could have a total hoss feud, if this match and their trios last season (with Crane) are any indication. This felt like their take on a 1999 Attitude era match (though I guess this whole fed is their take on 1999 Attitude era stuff, so...), with ref bumps from multiple refs, man hiding in crowd interference, and garbage spots. The real meat of the match was both guys showing off how hard they could hit the other, showing off strength spots, and showing off flying spots. We get a bunch of cool full force shoulderblocks and lariats that get shrugged off, Cage shows off a nice rana and Muertes shows off right back with a cool headscissors. Cage hits a big flip dive, Muertes is great at flying into walls, and the powerlift suplex from the middle rope is always awesome. All the stuff with guys hitting the ref worked for me, because the refs all took an absolute freaking thrashing. Muertes wrecks a guy with a spear, Cage hits his fullspeed 360 lariat right into the neck of another, Rick Knox takes a Muertes' chokeslam in brutal fashion; googling Rick Knox to make sure I had his name correct, I saw that he had surgery due to a broken collarbone suffered during the tapings...and this had to be it right? For his sake I hope he didn't have to endure anything worse than this. Pentagon was hiding in plain sight in the crowd to jump Cage, which would have looked stupid in most other settings but I liked it here. Wouldn't mind seeing this match like half a dozen more times.

TL: Super weird to think this is the first time in LU they’ve faced off one on one, but I also hope this is more like a Muertes match instead of a Cage match. Then two minutes in and I regret saying that. They’re just full throttle from the get-go and nothing slows down. The way they trade stuff totally works, and when they show off the power stuff against each other, it’s really awe inspiring. Cage’s outside in superplex was effortless here. I like the ref stuff, and poor Rick Knox lands HARD on the awesome Muertes chokeslam. I loved the Pentagon crowd reveal, something that truly came off as surprising and cool. Don’t know if we need to be seeing unprotected chairshots in 2018 but Penta can swing it. Cage spikes himself on the finishing flatliner. This was really fun, top flight Cage match, and for me, right there with the Cage/PCO match from Americanrana earlier this year. Penta doing the Ciampa wave was hilarious, and I don’t know how they do it, but I’m with Eric: More Cage/Muertes, please.

ER: I liked the vibe of the Rabbit Tribe video, and apparently Mascarita Sagrada got back this season just to be bludgeoned to death by Paul London and a big wooden club. Castro is the dude that needed an onscreen murder, it's weird to waste that visual on someone like Sagrada. I'm sure there was a chance that "this wasn't real, the Tribe was on a trip," but it still spoils that visual. And I'm not sure how they want people to view London going forward: LSD-soaked goofball who still dies on bumps? or is he a dangerous PCP-charged murderer who police found eating his roomates lungs out of his chest, screaming? I'm going to need to know. I want to know if there's a chance of him getting booked in a No DQ match and just murdering someone. I don't think we've had that happen on a wrestling program (I have not seen some 80s territory stuff, so don't know for sure).

TL: I still don’t know why Sagrada just stood there and let it happen, but the visual of London’s white suit getting blood splattered all over it is classic grindhouse stuff and just makes Paul look even more crazed than normal. This very much could be a Kevin Sullivan-in-Florida situation, but the in-ring violence has been very much your normal wrestling fare so far in LU outside of some deathmatches. I don’t know if we’re gonna have an Invader 3/Manny Fernandez-type incident on this show, but London’s the guy to do it with.


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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 3: Rest in Pieces

ER: I don't have much use for Ricky making derpy evil faces with his doll (come on, creepy dolls? We can dig deeper than that, right?) but I thought everybody else's comedy reads were good, much better than I was expecting. Johnny himself had great timing and hit all the beats he was supposed to, with Taya being good with reaction faces (and the dark lipstick is a cool choice). "Has anyone seen Angelico around? I owe him a beating."

TL: My favorite video game series of all time is Xenoblade Chronicles, where the monsters you face are basically just giant versions of animals you’d find in real life. The second game that came out last year has giant spiders and snakes in it (both animals I’m deathly afraid of), and if I get bored driving back on my commute from work and stare at the hills while waiting in traffic, I half expect to see giant animals come over the hillside and make a beeline for the cars. This is also why “Giant Spider Invasion” is my favorite MST3K episode by far. Feel like me visualizing this stuff helps me face my fears.

What I’m trying to say is that Jack Evans’ fear of snakes leading him to make a colonic appointment excuse trying to get out of a match is totally something I understand. Ricky’s replacement-level Al Snow circa 1999 faces can leave, though.

Jack Evans vs. XO Lishus

ER: I had never heard nor seen Lishus before this, but thought he had a great debut. It was a really long showcase (longer than most debuting guys) and Evans is a good stooge for this kind of routine. Lishus clearly has a dance background and I like how he integrated it, taking a splits bump, a really impressive Matrix bridge, his crazy leg split finisher off the top, and big bumps. He and Jack are both athletic bumpers with impressive body control, though Jack is better at making them come off more reckless. I liked Lishus' dive, although for an exotico he needs to work more stiff. Both guys had amusing handsprings, with Lishus hitting a big slap at the end of his and Evans landing a eye rake. This was plenty fun, surprised they had Lishus go over so strong, but this kind of debut is infinitely more interesting than Mr. Pectacular or Jake Strong.

TL: Yeah, for as much crap as we give LU on a regular basis, they’re the only semi-major fed in the US that would book an exotico on the regular, let alone even hear of one, so it’s cool to see XO get a shot here. The athleticism was a blast to watch, and Jack’s bendy selling and nutty bumping really helped put some of the more athletic stuff over even more. The split-based offense is tremendous, and he’s the only guy I’ve seen make an X-Factor look actually hurty, so a lot of props here for XO. Now go give Effy a shot, LU. Also, Jack Evans’ shit-talking is hilarious coming from a guy his size, and I always enjoy how a guy who should be out of wrestling due to his risk-taking and bumping has somehow found a way to elongate his career by being a shit-talking semi-comedic rudo.

ER: Oof that Pentagon/Cage segment was lame. Pentagon cuts a promo that sounds like bullet points for a promo, like they planned on fleshing it out later but forgot so Pentagon was left with his catch phrase and "I'm gonna defend my title, and keep winning". I like Cage but he was tanked by awful Striker/Vampiro reads here. Cage pulls a table out from under the ring, starts setting it up, and Vampiro (sounding like he was dryly added in post) says, "Wait...what is Cage doing?" Striker says "How can Pentagon break someone who is not man, but machine!?" And then moments later Cage on the mic says almost the exact same thing. Yeah, Pentagon got put through a table, but what a half asleep segment.

TL: Bullet points in a promo, you say? Sounds like Penta is ready for the writing of the award-winning World Wrestling Federation. I know Penta is being booked as being nigh unstoppable, but Cage jumping someone from behind doesn’t make a lot of sense considering how he’s been booked. I mean, Penta just ran through Matanza and the rest of the roster in Aztec Warfare. Cage putting him through a table isn’t exactly something that’s gonna make me salivate for a match between the two of them. Another instance of weird LU booking.

Grave Consequences 3 Way to the Grave: Mil Muertes vs: Jeremiah Crane vs. Fenix

ER: Plenty of violence and plenty of bullshit, which really would make this a pretty great fed if they consistently delivered on those things, and also greatly depends on the quality of the latter of those two things. This one went on too long and had a finishing stretch I didn't like, but there was so much violence, a spirited Fenix performance, and a monster Muertes performance, enough that I gotta call it an easy win. The whole thing likely would have been better if they just did any combination of these guys in a one on one Grave Consequences match, but I thought the three did a good job of keeping the action moving. There were some nasty spills in this one, with everyone seeing who could take a meaner fall into their respective casket lids (Crane took an especially rough one on the floor). Muertes' big right hands were easily worth the price of admission, so many of his great overhand rights that really look like they should have broken Fenix's face, and the shot of him ripping at Fenix's mask while punching his bloody face from above was fantastic. Crane and Fenix brought plenty of nice kicks, Crane flew threw chairs (no shock), and we also had plenty of silliness. Ivelisse came back with bright red hair like Eva Marie (the camera showed her running from behind and I actually thought it *was* Eva Marie, which would have been hilarious), so since she's borrowing the look I assume her new name is Eva Lease. Her interference was quick and got Crane out of there, and there was a nicely done finger break spot, and not long after we get Fenix crashing off the top basically through Crane. The end run wasn't very interesting as it turned into a big moves trade off between Fenix and Muertes, and while all the moves looked good it got annoying seeing Fenix take a huge slam that caved in a coffin, and just get back up and start springing off ropes again. Although it must be said, Fenix's rope work in the match was pretty breathtaking. So while overly long, the match definitely delivered overall, and was one of my favorite Muertes performances. An easy win, and the first genuinely good episode of the season.

TL: Even with Sami’s presence in this match, Mil and Fenix kill it in these matches (their match back in Season 1 was one of my favorite LU matches ever; Mil/Matanza might have been even better) so I’m all about it. Just watching Fenix find new ways to fly (the plancha off the roof of the refrigeration room) and Muertes’ nutty violence (love me an elevator door slam like he’s in a damn Looney Tunes ep) makes this worth watching, even if there’s some flubs with vaulting and other awkward three-way spots. Sami is always at his best taking a beating and he bumps huge here on a few things, including a powerbomb on a coffin and a ridiculous bump off a Mil spear on the outside. The Ivellise stuff was at least well done, even if Ivellise’s hammer was obviously a fake with the head actually breaking off and took away from it a bit. I also can’t top Eva Lease.

The remainder of the match is Mil whooping up on Fenix using the bottom turnbuckle and then absolutely pasting him with some AWESOME right hands (as if we need yet another thing to add to the list of things Mil does well). After an awkward staredown on the outside with Mil, I actually loved Melissa as a second getting the crowd into it as they’ve been a bit tired during this match and weren’t popping for a lot. Fenix taking that belly-to-belly into the casket was disgusting, but he’s named Fenix so he’s back doing his ultra-athletic offense and taking another crazy bump with that chokeslam on the casket. It probably did go a little long, but there was a lot more good than bad here, and while it’s not in the top level of Grave Consequences matches, it’s very good stuff.

Because it’s on the mind, Muertes seems like a guy who is continuously underrated at large, even with two of the greatest lucha brawls of all time with LA Park and maybe the best Abyss match ever in TNA, along with his unbelievable LU brawls (and for me, perhaps the best squash match TV worker going right now). I don’t know what to make of his standing in the grand wrestling pantheon, but he’s carved out a hell of a career in a way that really nobody like him ever has. The more I see him, the more I’m realizing how great he’s been for a long, long time; he has constantly reinvented himself either as Judas or Mesias or Muertes in multiple territories in multiple countries and hasn’t really lost a step at all. It’s remarkable when you step back and look at what he’s done, and even though this isn’t perhaps the shining moment of his LU career, a match like this is so much better than so many other wrestlers’ best matches that it’s easy to forget how good he’s been. His stuff does not go unnoticed with me.

TL: Of course, we get some Striker biblical bullshit to sign us off before seeing Matanza chained up like Eren Yeager (and, I’m guessing due to the magic of Lasik, two good eyes for Antonio - must be good medical insurance at The Temple) before busting loose and breaking Dario’s key. I don’t know what the upping of the whimsical stuff does to my enjoyment of the show (more a fan of kitsch than the actual hard magical being stuff), but if Catrina is bringing herself back due to Fenix, can she bring Lorenzo Lamas back, too, at least? Maybe Antonio found his eye and that’s why he’s got two good eyes right now? At least I’m trying to connect the dots here.


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