ROH TV Workrate Report: 1/17/11

Well this show will be off the air within the next few weeks or months, so even though I haven't been digging the most recent episodes anywhere near as much as the earlier ones with Necro matches, we might as well finish it out at this point.

1. Briscoes vs. The Elite (Ted McNaylor & Adam Revolver?) starts us off. I think one or both of these guys were in Ohio Valley at one point. Jay Briscoe always plows right into guys with his shoulderblocks which is a little thing I always appreciate. He also decapitates McNaylor with a boss lariat. AND the great STO into the turnbuckle that McNaylor flies into chin first. Man that looks nasty. OVW team is fairly inoffensive and served their purpose here, showcasing the Briscoes offense.

I wish I could to sceen caps because seriously, the slimy/sweaty Christopher Daniels Vs. photo is just awful, reminding me of Jon Hamm's Sergio character being birthed, but with less charisma.

2. Daizee Haze' abdomen is downright freaky. And we got her vs. MsChif now. I dig MsChif's back elbows while in a waistlock. Seems like those don't happen as often as they should for some reason. MsChif starts wrenching Haze' neck and leg, almost making Haze' heel touch her own head and it looks awesome. They work a headscissor sequence I assume for da ratings, but it likely won't affect the breakdown as there was enough screaming. MsChif uses her PBS-approved science smarts to block a rana, then stomps all over Haze. MsChif bumps a missle dropkick real nicely, but they go through a finisher reversal sequence afterwards that seems real sluggish. But they win my heart back when MsChif awesomely back elbows out of the heart punch and spikes Haze with some DDT type thing for the win. Haze took it great and I was shocked she lost here. BUT MSCHIF DISRESPECTS HER AFTER THE MATCH BY NOT FOLLOWING THE CODE!!! And then MISTS Haze!! Yeah! It makes me wistful for Virtual Pro Wrestling 2 where Muta had 5 different mist types you could use on your opponent as his finisher.

Hogewood puts over the mist GREAT by seeming genuinely pissed about it. "There is NO place in ROH for that! No place! She had already won the match!"

Oh sweet a Haas AND Benjamin interview!? They knew it was my birthday!! They're going after da BELTS! Briscoes interrupt and I always like Jay Briscoe promos. Dude always seems honest and doesn't try any "we were in a war brahs" kinda talk, just has fuckin crazy eyes and talks about beating peoples' asses. And I always believe he will. Those neck tattoos and crazy eyes say so. Then Benjamin loses me by fumbling through a sentence telling the Briscoes to pull their pants up so we can decide who the men are...I know some people think this guy was being held down and not pushed properly in WWE, but at this point everyone probably admits that WWE were right.

3. Hero vs. Daniels is our main event and Hero always makes locking on a cravate look nice. Hero looks great getting out of a wristlock by stepping down on the back of Daniels' knee and just kicking him in the head. Daniels' bald head makes the cravate look even better as you can see all these veins bulging as Hero tightens it up. Daniels is working over Hero's arm pretty well but it won't go anywhere because it's Hero's non-elbowing arm STUPID! Hero dumps him to the floor where Hagadorn gets in a cheap shot then hides behind Del Ray, allowing Hero to do a Fuerza bump yakuza kick which looked fucking awwwwesome.

Back in for a hammerlock/cravate, but Daniels fights out and gets a German suplex on Hero and MAN did Hero launch himself into it. Rolling elbow sends Daniels to the floor. Hero gets thrown into the guard rail but jumps up on it and launches back with a great elbow that Daniels plowed right into. Daniels comes back in the ring with some Suicidesque offense but Hero levels him with a rolling yakuza kick that shouldn't have worked but it totally did. Running powerbomb only gets two. Daniels locks on a really hard submission from a standing submission that is really hard to describe but looked awesome and totally plausible. Kind of a cravate but with a leg applying more pressure to the neck. Hero sells it great by slowly getting brought down to his knees and makes the ropes. Hagadorn gets knocked off the ropes and Hogewood is awesome here as he is clearly filled with glee that Hagadorn got what was coming to him. Hero uses this to BLAST Daniels with a great rolling elbow though but Daniels kicks out. Now we get the loaded elbow pad, but that allows Daniels to hit a uranage and actually NOT overshoot the BME for the win. I did not see that coming.

So now KOW have both lost their last singles matches...does this make them WEAKER or will their team be strong enough to beat a really shitty team like Titus/King!?!? My guess will be that Rhett Titus will not look good while wrestling.

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ROH TV Workrate Report: 1/10/11

So I watched the 1/3 episode of ROH TV, but it was about the least offensive but also least interesting episode I have seen and I just had no idea what to write about it. Here are my notes from the episode:

We start off the new year with:
~Eddie Edwards with tape on his shoulder but according to Prazak HE DOESN'T CARE because he's here to compete.
~Eddie and Briscoe do stuff like legbars and superkicks...
~The best part of Switzerland is that they don't have a bunch of Puerto Ricans with dumb names like Homicide! YES! Claudio is starting a fire!
~Grizzly Redwood is wearing jeggings
~Mondo amusingly gets into position for Grizzly's bulldog, and takes a tornado DDT at a cool angle.
~Haas & Benjamin vs. The Bravado Brothers happened
~Claudio vs. Homicide was fun

So that was the show. I don't think I could have written any more about it.

Soooooo let's just movie into the 1/10 episode

Opening package with Cornette and Silkin was awesome. They had all these still photos of Mike Bennett training and they talked about how no prospect had this much raw talent before, and how Brutal Bob Evans was an old vet who went nuts and had sketchy training methods, then showed awesome photos of Bob stretching dudes while making crazy faces. They should've had him stepping on a fake eyeball or something.

1. And we get to start with the debut of Mike Bennett, taking on Nick Dinsmore. Oh. They start with some headlock and wristlock sequences, including a nice wristlock into a kimura by Bennett. Bennett stomps right on Dinsmore's hair tuft and sometimes Dinsmore's faces look more retarded than when he was pretending to be a retarded guy. Wimpy shoulderblock by Nick and they run the ropes a bit. Bennett complains of a hair pull and hits a nice punch on Dinsmore. Dinsmore misses a charge and gets tangled up in the ropes real nicely, getting his ankle stuck, allowing Bennett to hit a decent spinebuster for the win. Not a bad debut, but the dude really does look like a slightly bigger version of a lot of other dudes.

Rhett Titus and Kenny King are the next challengers for the KOW, and Titus is just awful on the stick. "This is serious business!" Claudio looks fucking awesome, with his button up and scarf. Dude can rock a scarf and latte. Hero awesomely puts Titus in his place and Titus is just impossible to get behind here, with his Edge looks and his jeans with back-pocket flaps.

2. Adam Cole & Kyle O'Reilly talk about how ROH is innovative, and they will work at being more innovative in the ring, which clearly means they will have the shittiest and most awful matches possible. Tonight they face Mike Posey and Corey Hollins (?). Some armdrags to start and Hollis rocks O'Reilly with a nice forearm and shakes his whole arm out afterwards, like when you would take a pitch funny and the bat would make your hands and forearms hurt. Posey and Hawliss do a bunch of moves where the bumps they take after doing the moves look a lot more painful than the moves they were doing to their opponent. Kyle O'Riley looks like Will Sheff from Okkervil River and thank god he answered my prayers for another guy working with kickpads and doing kick sequences. They do some topes and then finish with a double team chestbreaker into a backstabber. I am really excited to see KOW destroy these guys at some point.

Daniels vs. Hero is gonna happen at some point, and the still photo of Daniels when they did the rundown screen was just awful. He was all grimacy and sweaty and slimy, like he had just been birthed. He really needs to drop the eyeliner. It looks just awful. He looks like a boring version of Kizarny at this point.

3. Colt Cabana vs. Roderick Strong (in a non-title match) is our main. I always get a kick out of Colt's rolling and tumbling matwork and they start with that. It's showy, but he always does things like bend wrists awkwardly or squeeze heads in headscissors to at least give it some worth. Colt lands some nice forearms and Roddy is getting really skinny. He still throws nice elbows though and I think I like Roderick Strong more than most people. I really cannot stand Truth Martini. I really really hate his hair, like a lot. It looks like one of Tyra's really bad weaves. Cabana fights out of a bodyscissors in a cool way but Strong dropkicks him in the face.

It gets a little chinlocky but Strong at least makes it look like his forearm is pressing down on Colt's throat. Strong misses a jump to nothing off the middle rope. Colt does a fun tornado vertical suplex and gets some 2 counts. Strong hits a bunch of elbow variations and then a sideslam. Colt drops Strong stomach first on the turnbuckle in a real painful way, but it doesn't matter much since Strong just kinda pops up and hits some nice superkicks, then his running kick to finish. Fun match.

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