ROH TV Workrate Report: 1/10/11

So I watched the 1/3 episode of ROH TV, but it was about the least offensive but also least interesting episode I have seen and I just had no idea what to write about it. Here are my notes from the episode:

We start off the new year with:
~Eddie Edwards with tape on his shoulder but according to Prazak HE DOESN'T CARE because he's here to compete.
~Eddie and Briscoe do stuff like legbars and superkicks...
~The best part of Switzerland is that they don't have a bunch of Puerto Ricans with dumb names like Homicide! YES! Claudio is starting a fire!
~Grizzly Redwood is wearing jeggings
~Mondo amusingly gets into position for Grizzly's bulldog, and takes a tornado DDT at a cool angle.
~Haas & Benjamin vs. The Bravado Brothers happened
~Claudio vs. Homicide was fun

So that was the show. I don't think I could have written any more about it.

Soooooo let's just movie into the 1/10 episode

Opening package with Cornette and Silkin was awesome. They had all these still photos of Mike Bennett training and they talked about how no prospect had this much raw talent before, and how Brutal Bob Evans was an old vet who went nuts and had sketchy training methods, then showed awesome photos of Bob stretching dudes while making crazy faces. They should've had him stepping on a fake eyeball or something.

1. And we get to start with the debut of Mike Bennett, taking on Nick Dinsmore. Oh. They start with some headlock and wristlock sequences, including a nice wristlock into a kimura by Bennett. Bennett stomps right on Dinsmore's hair tuft and sometimes Dinsmore's faces look more retarded than when he was pretending to be a retarded guy. Wimpy shoulderblock by Nick and they run the ropes a bit. Bennett complains of a hair pull and hits a nice punch on Dinsmore. Dinsmore misses a charge and gets tangled up in the ropes real nicely, getting his ankle stuck, allowing Bennett to hit a decent spinebuster for the win. Not a bad debut, but the dude really does look like a slightly bigger version of a lot of other dudes.

Rhett Titus and Kenny King are the next challengers for the KOW, and Titus is just awful on the stick. "This is serious business!" Claudio looks fucking awesome, with his button up and scarf. Dude can rock a scarf and latte. Hero awesomely puts Titus in his place and Titus is just impossible to get behind here, with his Edge looks and his jeans with back-pocket flaps.

2. Adam Cole & Kyle O'Reilly talk about how ROH is innovative, and they will work at being more innovative in the ring, which clearly means they will have the shittiest and most awful matches possible. Tonight they face Mike Posey and Corey Hollins (?). Some armdrags to start and Hollis rocks O'Reilly with a nice forearm and shakes his whole arm out afterwards, like when you would take a pitch funny and the bat would make your hands and forearms hurt. Posey and Hawliss do a bunch of moves where the bumps they take after doing the moves look a lot more painful than the moves they were doing to their opponent. Kyle O'Riley looks like Will Sheff from Okkervil River and thank god he answered my prayers for another guy working with kickpads and doing kick sequences. They do some topes and then finish with a double team chestbreaker into a backstabber. I am really excited to see KOW destroy these guys at some point.

Daniels vs. Hero is gonna happen at some point, and the still photo of Daniels when they did the rundown screen was just awful. He was all grimacy and sweaty and slimy, like he had just been birthed. He really needs to drop the eyeliner. It looks just awful. He looks like a boring version of Kizarny at this point.

3. Colt Cabana vs. Roderick Strong (in a non-title match) is our main. I always get a kick out of Colt's rolling and tumbling matwork and they start with that. It's showy, but he always does things like bend wrists awkwardly or squeeze heads in headscissors to at least give it some worth. Colt lands some nice forearms and Roddy is getting really skinny. He still throws nice elbows though and I think I like Roderick Strong more than most people. I really cannot stand Truth Martini. I really really hate his hair, like a lot. It looks like one of Tyra's really bad weaves. Cabana fights out of a bodyscissors in a cool way but Strong dropkicks him in the face.

It gets a little chinlocky but Strong at least makes it look like his forearm is pressing down on Colt's throat. Strong misses a jump to nothing off the middle rope. Colt does a fun tornado vertical suplex and gets some 2 counts. Strong hits a bunch of elbow variations and then a sideslam. Colt drops Strong stomach first on the turnbuckle in a real painful way, but it doesn't matter much since Strong just kinda pops up and hits some nice superkicks, then his running kick to finish. Fun match.