WWE Battleground 2016 Live Blog
1. Usos vs. Breezango
ER: Mauro forces in an overly long House of Cards reference and Byron Saxton's big contribution seems to be "_____ seem to be working well together!" We hit the hot tag 150 seconds in. Tyler Breeze is still awesome and takes three bumps from the apron to the floor in one minute. And for a 6 minute match this got really good. Everybody was hitting enziguiris to people on the top rope, an Uso hit an awesome tope past the turnbuckles, Breeze got knees up on a splash and then locked in a tight roll up. Crowd was really really hot for this. People wanting to see some wrestling! This must be the reason why that Nationals game I watched some of earlier was so sparsely attended on a Sunday.
2. Charlotte & Dana Brooke vs. Sasha Banks & Bayley
ER: They pumped too much air into those inflatable tree things! They were just standing all rigid. Except for that yellow one going into business for himself, which was awesome as it flopped over like it was giving Bayley a high five. And this match was a real blast. Great debut from Bayley who worked like someone wanting to make an impression, Brooke was a big ol bumper taking these bouncy flip bumps all over the ring and floor. Loved all of Bayley's back elbows, loved the way her and Brooke flew into each other on a double clothesline, loved Bayley's sliding corner kick. Sasha drops the knees on Charlotte and Cole shits out "Vintage Sasha Banks". Yeah man, that's like...2014 Sasha Banks right there. Luckily Cole and Saxton exist in that level of terrible that mostly makes them easy to tune right out. Really fun match.
3. The New Day vs. The Wyatt Family
ER: Yeah this was awesome. This felt like a 2014 WWE trios with everybody utilized properly and all the cool shit stacked up in the best way possible. Bray looked and vicious and motivated as I've seen him in over a year, Rowan targeted Kofi and stomped the hell out of him (even walking over his chest post match), Kofi bumped all over including running ear first into a Bray lariat that knocked him ass over elbow, Big E has a major death wish and mah god does he take a vicious spill on his neck and shoulders doing his nutso spear to the floor. Even Bram gets some nice moments, specifically with a massive boot to Woods that, due to his clumsiness, sees him following through until he's just standing on Woods' face. Woods gets his biggest star moment yet (well, biggest star moment not involving a trombone) by getting to snap on Bray like he was Ralphie going after Scut Farkus. On first watch this felt like a total badass Rowan/Bray show, but I bet on rewatch a couple other guys will stand out as even more awesome. That's when you know you watched a killer little trios.
4. Rusev vs. Zack Ryder
ER: Lana is gorgeous but still hasn't figured out how to properly say "hand" or "true" in that pesky accent. And man this match was awesome too. Look at me, ol "Everybody Gets a Trophy" Ritz. This is about as excellently laid out as you can lay out a Rusev/Ryder match. Ryder worked up to Rusev and had some great snap on stuff, blasted Rusev with his corner kick, loved that crazy dropkick off the ring barrier, really planted that flying leg lariat. And then I found myself getting excited for Zack Ryder of all people when he started fighting out of the accolade. Rusev worked around Ryder perfectly, setting up some nice comebacks by missing stuff, hitting some nasty kicks to the back of Ryder's head, and yeah this was all real good. PPV of the year so far (he didn't expect to type when this show started).
5. Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens
ER: I am tired of these two fighting, but WWE promises me that this is the blow off! It is amusing that WWE isn't doing some sort of stip match for it, since they rarely advertise a match as the blow off. Usually they don't mention it's a blowoff, they just let the severity of the stipulation be the barometer for the feud. I like the beginning of this with the Owens cannonball and surprise pop up Sami lariat. But my lord Sami might need to retire that rope flip moonsault. At its best, it doesn't look very good. At it's worst, the ropes are too bouncy and you blow up your own shoulder. And damn they're certainly ramping things up to kill mode here, but if it is indeed the blowoff then more power to them, drop each other on all of your heads. Zayn just flat out snaps and breaks out all the exploders, all the corner kicks, fans go wild, and if this IS indeed the blowoff then it was the right match for them to have. Man this show has been really good. I have not liked the other WWE Owens/Zayn matches, but this one won me over.
6. Natalya vs. Becky Lynch
ER: Natalya working as cocky zillionth generation Stu Hart "stretcher" is far and away the most interesting use of her. Crowd is silent throughout this but I'm into it and Natalya as bully is the best. It lights a fire under Becky's ass too as she works as stiff as I've seen her, really surprising the tired crowd with a shot in the corner and a big kick on the apron. Nattie was great always trying to grab at Becky's legs, Becky was great firing back in the corner. Match was the perfect length, really well paced (though Lynch couldn't be bothered to even act like Nattie had been yanking on her leg), and man I must be in the best of moods tonight. Eric likes everything!! I'm just waving my pennant that says "Pro Wrestling" over here.
7. Darren Young vs. The Miz
ER: Jeezus how many matches are on this PPV? This is what I get for not knowing what the card is ahead of time.
*****I gotta go to a Gun Outfit concert right now, so will not be able to finish the PPV report until some time later. Sorry for the inconvenience (?)*****