Segunda Caida

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Thursday, July 04, 2019

WWF 305 Live: Earthquake! Buddy Rose! Yokozuna! Mabel! MORE!

Big Bossman vs. Buddy Rose WWF Wrestling Challenge 7/22/90 - FUN

ER: Buddy wasn't someone who was going to get much of a match during his 90s WWF run, but he knew all he had to be was a big fat guy who flew around the ring. And my did he fly. Most of this match is Bossman making Buddy run all around the ring, and it's great. He leaves his feet to bump a Bossman uppercut, bumps upside down into the turnbuckles in a crazy moment, bumps to the floor, eats a backdrop, does the silly teeter-totter spot with him sitting on the middle rope, and is thrown into the ropes multiple times. He was a big fat guy who could run, and it was cool seeing Bossman pivot and toss him into the corner, and plant him with that Bossman Slam. Even looking blobby as hell, Buddy deserved more in '90 WWF.

Earthquake vs. Bastion Booger WWF Wrestling Challenge 2/20/94 - FUN

ER: This was Earthquake's short-lived return to WWF, presumably because those big WCW checks came a'callin', but they know what they're doing and so really early in his run they throw him in against a big fat guy. Booger wasn't that good, as far as big fat guys go, but it's cool seeing Quake against a biggun. Booger wasn't super fleet so him running into corners looked awkward, but it's hard not to smile while watching these two. Booger had a couple decent legdrops and a not as good kneedrop/splash (it looked like he was going for kneedrop but then just kind of fell forward on Quake's face/chest), but this was all about what Quake could do in his comeback. He was smaller than his WWF peak 4 years earlier, so his quickness wasn't surprising, but still impressive to see. He picked Booger up for an awesome powerslam, dropped a big leg, great elbowdrop, fans flipping out for the Earthquake splash...and I think back to a simpler time, when my friends and I were playing King of the Colloseum and I got a critical doing John Tenta's butt drop. We all lost it, and I still think about it.

Mabel/Typhoon vs. Yokozuna/Crush WWF Wrestling Challenge 7/31/94 - GREAT

ER: God would you look at the absolute BEEF on display in this match?? Crush was a damn cruiserweight compared to the rest of these hunks, and this whole match was as good as you hoped. This whole match is filled with the constant sound of waterbeds being dropped onto each other. Honestly it was so much fun that I went back and watched it again, immediately after watching it the first time. Typhoon was a really fun rope runner, a guy who really trusted the ropes and always leaned way into them, and we got a great spot where he leaned deep in the ropes and then hit a double lariat on Yoko and Crush. Yokozuna was really fun, taking three of his big back bumps, hitting the corner hard on a missed running butt splash, hitting a nice headbutt, and even swiping Mabel's ankle from the floor (there's something endlessly amusing about a 550 pound dude cheating against a 550 pound dude). Crush really brought something different as the wee lil guy in the match, throwing a couple nice kick combos, working a big ass triangle on Mabel, for some reason trying an atomic drop on Mabel (he kind of went up, barely, awkwardly, but I dug that because it *shouldn't* be easy to hit an atomic drop on Mabel), and Crush missed a crazy kneedrop off the top. The finish was a cool idea, with Crush hitting a tall superkick to the back of Tugboat's head, sending him into a Yoko belly to belly. Tugboat didn't get up great on the suplex, but again, none of these guys should get up for anything.


COMPLETE AND ACCURATE WWE 305 LIVE!

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Complete and Accurate WWF 305 Live!


Big fat guys are inarguably the best thing about pro wrestling. And honestly, we have an absolute DEARTH of GIRTH in pro wrestling right now, and we should not only feel completely shamed by our lustful need for abs, but we should be taking to the streets and boycotting shows until the belly is back. Less CROSSFIT, more HOSSFAT! WWF has had the most heavy duty equipment putting strain on their rings, so this C&A will cover every single instance of 300+ pound men colliding in a WWE ring. Everyone in these matches will have a billed weight of 300+, with only occasional couple-pound exceptions. The only thing this project is about, is documenting all of that beef. And, of course, documenting dozens of terrible Undertaker/Kane matches. Requests are welcome in the comments, and as always all matches will be rated SKIPPABLE, FUN, VERY GOOD, GREAT, and EPIC.


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