Segunda Caida

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Wednesday, January 19, 2022

WWF 305 Live: Bigelow vs. Kamala!

ER: This match was supposed to be part of WrestleMania IX but got bumped for time. At school the next day, there was one kid who got to order WrestleMania IX. He was holding court with the wrestling fans, telling us all everything that happened. He was outed as a liar a week later when a different kid saw the show (after his dad got a tape of the show from a co-worker) and found out there was no Kamala/Bigelow match. The first kid had described that match in detail, and the second kid was now telling all of us that the match wasn't even on the show. The first kid - a liar - wisely pivoted to the match being a "bonus match" that he got to see because they bought the show and were given a special code to see it. The second kid, seeing the show on a VHS tape, obviously did not have access to the Bigelow/Kamala match. I'm not going to lie, that first kid was REALLY convincing. Also, kids are very stupid, so they will believe the lies of other kids who are also stupid. 

And the thing is, even though the kid was lying and had in reality likely never seen WrestleMania IX (kids are liars and also a lot of kids want attention, he did nothing wrong), his description of the Kamala/Bigelow match that didn't happen is basically the same as this actual house show match between them that DID happen. So, while a liar, at least the kid understood the product enough to plausibly fantasy book an entire show. I really liked this match, and think there could have been an actual great Bigelow/Kamala match had they been given time to have one. The strike exchanges looked really cool and both guys took interesting bumps for the other. Bigelow started with some fun house show shtick demanding a handshake from the cannibal and doing all these big body gestures to swoop in with multiple handshake offers. He was moving like the world's largest matador just finding silly little ways to offer Kamala his hand, before of course jumping him. 

Bigelow's elbow strikes looked good, Kamala's overhand chops looked great, and Kamala takes a cool bump getting thrown to the floor. I always love the messy way Kamala bumps to the floor. He always made it look like he was not actually supposed to fall through the ropes to the floor. Bigelow drops some big headbutts and then misses a splash, eats an overhand chop and a thrust kick, then gets run into the turnbuckles. Bigelow takes a fun back bump off the buckles and then eats a splash, but of course Kamala pins him incorrectly. Ref Jesse Hernandez does a bunch of fun pantomime showing Kamala that Bigelow needs to be on his back, getting onto the mat on his own back with big exaggerated motions. And, while learning the ways of these civilized humans, Kamala falls victim to a schoolboy. 

The kid who lied to all of us completely nailed the finish of the WrestleMania match that never happened, exactly how it happened. 


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