The 1993 King of the Ring Qualifying Matches, Part 2

I took a look at the first half of the 1993 King of the Ring Qualifying matches last week, and here's the shocking conclusion, leading up to a review of the 1993 King of the Ring.


Giant Gonzalez vs. Tatanka WWF Superstars 5/15/93

ER: I love looking at Giant Gonzalez. People who criticize him during his naked Sasquatch suit period are people who don't have any sense of wonder. I wish I had been a kid in the crowd during any of the shows where Giant Gonzalez worked, because I would have been in wonder. Big Show is a far better wrestler than Giant Gonzalez, but Big Show has almost always come off like a very large normal man. Big Show has more mass than Gonzalez! But Gonzalez never came out to the ring wearing dad jeans and a tucked in polo shirt. Gonzalez looked like a damn freak of nature, like something out of a horror movie, and the body suit ruled. Anyone who tells you this weird muscle and pubes suit isn't the greatest shit, is lying to you or lying to themselves. This is a wildly giant man who projects even larger size with his movements and I love seeing him lumber around a ring. 

Tatanka is a cool opponent for him, not because it makes for a great match, but because as a child I wouldn't have known who was winning this match. Tatanka was undefeated! Gonzalez was wrecking 2-3 guys at a time and just chloroformed the Undertaker! An 8' tall man who could dispose of multiple men at once and also occasionally use serial killer tactics to end matches is an absolute wild card. Gonzalez is not great at selling on his feet, but I love the moments where he is clubbing Tatanka into dust. Tatanka gets hammered into the mat real well and Gonzalez knew how to make crazy eyes better than Big Show ever did. His selling on Tatanka's comeback is silly, he doesn't know how to stand or move when being attacked, so he wobbles and stumbles and puts his hands on his head like he is miming "Going Crazy!" But I loved Tatanka leaping off the top with a big tomahawk chop and getting caught by the throat. Our finish is weak, and understandably so, as Gonzalez shoves ref Bill Alphonso (props for using the tiniest ref in a Gonzalez match, smart visual) for the DQ while dragging Tatanka around by the neck, hitting him with a nice heavy chokeslam after the bell. Also, this match might also be one of the only matches in WWF history involving two indigenous opponents, which is really cool.


Doink vs. Mr. Perfect WWF Wrestling Challenge 5/16/93

ER: This is not as infuriatingly laid out as the first match in their series, but it has similar problems. The strengths are strong, and the work is strong, but the layout is still odd and the time limit draw comes off messy and way too early. Perfect has really good energy for a babyface, but is really stuck working like a heel at this point. He has too many heel tendencies and they all come out, and it clearly confuses crowd reaction. It is possible to play a smug babyface, but the formula is still off for '93 Perfect. Doink had a real spectacular entrance, filled with great close up mugs to the camera, weird popcorn eating, and squirting a 3 year old with his lapel flower. Perfect jumps him in the aisle to prevent him from terrorizing more kids, and Perfect quickly goes back to attacking the leg just like their first match. And, just like the first match, the leg work is strong! Perfect drops knees on Doink's leg, kicks at it, locks in a nasty trailer hitch, all of it looks painful. But again, that leads us to a sad clown limping and hopping around the ring and doing his best to fight back. There is nothing inherently wrong with a babyface targeting a limb, but it just plays bad to do it all at once. Perfect attacks Doink's leg for so long that the fans automatically start viewing Doink as the underdog. Just as with the first match, it's all wack. This match gets a couple favors their first match didn't get, such as no bad commercial break that divides the match into Perfect offense/Doink offense. But Perfect just massacres Doink's leg until Doink manages to be close enough to the ropes to toss Perfect to the floor, then Doink limps along slamming Perfect into the ring steps.

Now what this match doesn't get that their first match got, is some actual interesting nearfalls. The time limit draw here doesn't feel worked toward in any way, they just start throwing fists until a bell sounds and again take way too long to announce the result, leading to the exact same confused silence as the finish to their first match. Plus, when you end with a time limit draw after only 5-6 minutes, it's always insulting. I believe there was a Regal/Misterio match on Nitro that went 6 minutes and got called a 15 minute draw, so that's our low bar stupidity with the finish, but this wasn't much better. Also, Doink was absolutely THRASHING Perfect with his punches and got to throw a series of awesome left-rights until Perfect timmmmmberrrrrs over. Valiant fighting babyface, Doink. The ending is a real pile, but I dug Perfect asking for 5 more minutes (which would almost make this a 10 minute match!) and Doink running into the ring to jump him the second Perfect turns his back. Doink limps and hops on one leg all the way down the aisle as Perfect chases him off.


Shawn Michaels vs. Crush WWF Superstars 5/22/93

ER: What a great 5 minute match. Weak double count out finish aside, this was the best match of the Qualifying Rounds. The two of them were complementary enough that it made me want to go seek out their other few singles and tag matches (there aren't many, a couple Rockers/Demolition from '90 and singles matches from '93, surprising that they never crossed paths at any point in '96/'97). Crush really came off like a big babyface monster here, and Michaels helped a lot with that. Crush just facepalms Michaels across the entire ring to start the match, and it stays that level of great from there. Michaels does big bumps but a bunch of great Rock-taking-a-Stunner bumps all around the ring and ringside. I think that kind of exaggeratedly bumping has his place, and Michaels brings a great stooging Memphis flair to his showy bumps. Big athletic bumpers today intentionally seek to copy the athleticism portion of these bumps, most don't think of the stooge spot as the necessary delivery of the athletic bump. Michaels in '93 was really good at not devaluing the spot that caused the big bump. Crush facepalmed him, hit a big clothesline, got shoulderblocked, andMichaels bounced and flew for all of it. He goes through bigger bump ending variations on signature bumps, like when he gets kicked in the stomach while balanced across a corner, and flings himself over the top to the floor. Crush has an all time great Crush moment where he press slams Michaels and slowly walks him all the way around the ring, ref yelling to put him down, Crush walking around showing off a full extension press to every side of the ring, threatening to throw him like Bam Bam and Spike. I have never seen Crush cooler.

What really puts this over to next level was how good Crush was bumping for Michaels' run. Crush takes two notable spots and makes them mean much more, getting lured and leveraged into the ring steps by Michaels, and then run face first into a ringpost. He smashes hard into the steps, and I always like when a big man's first bump of a match is a big crash. A big crash landing that finally takes him down. Right after he's walking away to clear the cobwebs, and Michaels just runs and shoves him into the post. Crush has a great post bump, kind of sliding into it on his knees while he was bumping back. Most guys go in leaning forward and into it making it more obvious you're shielding with your hand, and you're bumping into an unmoving object. When Lawler bumps into a ring post and does it leaned back, feet going out in front of him, it focuses the bump equally on the post bump and back bump, so a great quick back bump really makes the posting go by quicker and look harder (Lawler takes several other post bump variations and make them also look great). So Crush gets waylaid by two straight shots into hard inanimate surfaces, and I love how that's ALL of Michaels' offense. I'm not sure later ego would have allowed for a match where he plays heel and the only time his opponent goes down is when he's shoved into an object. The double count out is disappointing, as the match was so hot that a good finish would have made it one of the sleeper best WWF matches of 1993. But it did set up the PPV match, so we'll see how that match goes soon.


Mr. Hughes vs. Kamala WWF Wrestling Challenge 5/23/93

ER: This could have been a lot better, but it really wasn't meant to be good. It was the shortest match of the Qualifying Round, not even making it to 3 minutes, and played as more of a Kamala/Kim Chee/Wippleman angle. Kamala had a silly and spirited performance that the crowd was into, and his standing shots came off better than Hughes'. Hughes felt like he was holding back. His strikes had a good physical motion to them, mixing up overhand rights, but they would land light. They look too pulled. Kamala would come back with big fat overhand chops and the crowd would fire up. Hughes does hit two of his big dropkicks consecutively (although Kamala sells the first one weird, kind of prancing around waving his arms before bumping for the second one). Kamala gets a cool surprise superkick when distracted by Kim Chee, throwing it back as Hughes approached, and then hit his running splash. Naturally, Hughes gets pinned while on his stomach. That's a really great crowd involvement spot, it's always great hearing all the kids screaming for Kamala to roll him over. It always works and Kamala's faces during it are always a fun silly way to get kids into things. Count out finish is cheap, but Kamala was established as easily confused at this point.


Doink vs. Mr. Perfect WWF Raw 5/24/93

ER: This was certainly the most fully realized of their three matches, and a really good TV match. The first two matches were clumsily or confusingly laid out matches with weak finishes but had strong in-ring. But in hindsight those first two matches were even more annoying because Mr. Perfect chose to work the exact same match in all three of them. It's like Perfect couldn't fathom coming up with a three match progression, so he just worked Doink's leg over in near identical ways in three straight matches over three weeks. The only thing that changed was time. This is the match he got the most time to flesh out the match, which is why the other two matches just felt like clipped matches that ended with no warning. He could have worked an out of control brawl leading to a double count out after 5 minutes, or have Doink close to winning the first and have him figuring out Doink more each match, but he doesn't do that. He just works the same exact progression of leg attacks, leading to the heel evil clown selling a leg injury the whole time. The knee injury was worked better into this match than the other ones, and had more time to go in more interesting ways.

What's disappointing is the match starts with Doink jumping Perfect and choking him with Perfect's hand towel, then wipes himself off with it, getting all the areas. So of course Perfect punches him and gets the towel, then hits a big lariat with the towel. It was a hot brawl that felt like the culmination and frustration of their prior two matches. But then Perfect starts the leg work the exact same way he started it the other two times, and we go into that match. It's a good version of that match, but it's like someone on their third attempt at a joke: even if it's funny it will have lost some momentum. Doink pays good service to selling the leg, not letting it stop him from doing a move he really shouldn't be doing (like jumping axe handles), but he would always be slowed immediately after.

I think Perfect took too much of a slice in these matches, and that Doink could have been more impressive with his limited time in each match. He should have been more vicious. Perfect is tough! But this is still good. Perfect takes a big bump to the floor after getting thrown, takes a really good ringpost bump to give Doink breath, and later in the match locks in a nasty figure 4 variation. A lot of great moments that don't always feel part of the same match but also always feel close to greatness. They involve the second Doink well, with Doink scrambling under the ring and coming out with fresh face paint and a much better wig, and Perfect immediately putting the new Doink away with a killer Perfect Plex. You knew Perfect was showing off when he would deadlift the Perfect Plex all the way over. Crush runs in after the match and really this should have set up a series of Perfect/Crush vs. The Two Doinks house show matches, but those matches never happened. Just Crush/Doink over and over until Crush was dead.