TNA WORKRATE REPORT 11/16/06

WHAT WORKED:

-I liked Eric Young’s suit. The whole Pied Piper of TNA gimmick is really shitty. But the suit and the blonde faux hawk is a good look. If Wrestling Society X gets off the ground I imagine Jimmy Jacobs vs. Eric Young worked as a Chris Carrabba vs. Paul Weller type feud might be really fun.

-“ROWDY PIPPER”~!!!! TNA puts together a video package advertising their “best moments” A.K.A. moments involving guys who no longer work for the promotion. Hey I remember that time Chris Rock showed up. Hey “ROWDY PIPPER”.

-I liked Buh Buh’s back stage mic work setting up the Naturals match. Fine intense mic work. Not sure if it’s the lighting but D-Von appeared to have two differently colored aureolas. Kind of distracting.

-Lou Thesz is such a carny.

-I really liked the Christian vs. Rhino cage match. In the past I’ve talked a lot about the WWE bloodless televised feud ending cage matches…where feuds end in spotfest cage matches. Here this wasn’t really aspotfest cage match. It was an “escape the cage”rules cage match but both guys were working it as though primary purpose of cage match was to beat the shit out of opponent and winning the actual escape”part was secondary. I kind of liked the whole ridiculous Worlds of Warcraft/Dungeons and Dragons style booking. It was very Russo but on some level really also felt very much like the type of gimmick booking KevinSullivan would have done in Florida. And while Russo matches are built around finishes, this was about the beatings..this garbage match wasn’t about the final garbage spot it was about the bloody match body (failure of the Naturals vs. 3D was failure to get this). Christian was really great in this taking some nasty garbage bumps (including crazy one on the chair ) nice basic wrestling bumps (high back drops, etc) showing a ton of passion and really doing everything in his power to make Rhino’s stuff look good. Commercial break was shitty as Christain coming back from commercial break bloody is really anticlimactic. The first shot that draws blood is a big spot in this type of brawl…doing that over commercial break is like doing transitions over commercial break..it fucks up match flow


WHAT DIDN”T WORK:

The 11/9/06 Impact was bad in interesting ways. It was filled with stuff that on paper are no brainers, stuff that should be impossible to fuck up and yet they fucked it up. This week most of the bad stuff was predictably bad.

-Two Hours??? TWO HOURS??? HA! One of my favorite goofy TNA apologist talking points is “all these problems would be eliminated if they were given two hours”. You know if only the Clippers were allowed to play twenty four minute quarters. If the NFL moved to a forty week season then people would notice how great the Lions really are. “Unhappily Ever After” has a really great cast, but what can you expect them to pull off when they only have a half hour show to work with. The problem with “Mama’s Family” is that they really can’t get off the comic bits in the 30 minute framework. If they were only given an hour “Mama’s Family” would be really funny. That’s not the way it works.

-Other general presentation things: If you want to make the Impact Zone look more like an infomercial shoot lots of confetti. Even Ephesians 6:12 couldn’t save the embarrassing Sahadi video packages.

-With the exception of the cage match there really was no good wrestling on this show. Samoa Joe v. Jay Lethal is normally a good match up as they’re both really good at eating their opponents stuff, but tonight it just laid there and was a nothing and really you shouldn’t be working a competitive squash in under two minutes. If you’ve got a squash that goes under two minutes, that isn’t enough time to work it competitive. Dutt comes in to make the save and Sabin refuses to make save. Is Samoa Joe supposed to be a heel now. Or is this one of those there are no face-heel type things. Naturals vs. Team 3-D should be better than this. Well this wasn’t a match just was a finish. Neat finish with the Shane Douglas sacrifice but still for a tables brawl to mean anything you need to have a big brawling section before you move to the interesting finish. You need a big bloody brawl for the table spot to feel like a climax/finish (whatever). You kill the tables gimmick if it takes place after under 2 and a half minutes. Chris Sabin working heel spots is better than Chris Sabin working wrestling spots but damn that three-way X division match was all about preposterous “all three guys executing moves at the same time” spots. It was like I was watching a Comedy Sportz team do an improve warm up exercise. The MC “all three of you are connected as part of a machine, now there’s a power surge, the machine goes into overdrive. Good job now give Daniels a belt”. And well YOWZA! Remember when people were pimping Abyss as being better than Mark Henry. I don’t remember an Angle v. Henry match this bad. I mean there was really no reason to believe Abyss vs. Angle would be any good…but I thought it might be a poor man’s Abyss vs. AJ Styles. I mean I guess the lesson of Whitney Houston is that if all you are is you’re ability to do histrionic vocal singing, you should stay away from crack…as it will ruin your voice. Angle throwing Abyss isn't as impressive as Angle throwing an actual tall wrestler: Tomko or Edge. Its about as visualy impressive as Angle throwing a chubby Charlie Haas. Does Abyss normally throw suplexes? I can’t remember him ever throwing a suplex before…amused that he adds a suplex to his arsenal when working an Olympic gold medalist. Is Abyss'character a guy who understands move reversals? The Orlando TNA crowd is a very generous group and Angles in ring debut was met with the same sustained pop that they had used for the TNA in ring debut of Spike Dudley, Sting and Christian. The Orlando crowd did surprise me by being more critical than one would expect, and there was no “You still got It”’chant. This stank. The booking of having Abyss loose cleanly before his PPV match is dumb. The post match lots of commotion happening didn’t really heat up anything.

-This Voodoo Kin Mafia thing is bad. I mean Voodoo Kin Mafia segment was so bad that you forget the stupidity of the opening section where Johnny Devine topes a steel chair for no reason. So bad that you forget the ridiculousness of Kip James'' red died hair. So the James Gang quit two weeks ago and they come back with “creative control”…Who gave them “creative control “? And when given “creative control” instead of setting themselves up for title shots, they use it to get on the mic to try to settle personal grudges. And they declare “War” on “dx” and VINCE Mcmahon. The actual story of DX and the James Gang is an amusing story. HHH and Vince when they restarted DX wanted to bring back the New Age Outlaws, but then they found out that the Outlaws had been talking all kinds of shit. No one minded that they were talking about Vince but when Helmsley found out that they were talking about him, his ego was bruised and he nixed bringing them back. Its amusing story that makes Helmsley look pathetic. Some how they totally fail to get that across and instead make themselves look pathetic and silly. Why can Nash call HBK Shawn Michaels but the James Gang can’t? Why did they set up a Voodoo Kin Mafia vs. Serotonin match for the PPV without ever mentioning that Michael Shane was Shawn Michaels’s nephew?

I figured that I really covered all the structural background on shoot angles last week. I was kind of hoping that I’d cover it thoroughly one week and just be able to repost it every week that Russo ran another poorly executed shoot angle. But watching this angle it’s clear that I missed a bunch of structural points. The general point from last weeks report still stands. “Speaking truth to power” doesn’t automatically create fan loyalty to wrestler. There needs to a motivation for why the wrestler is “shooting” and why the audience should trust that that “shoot” is the “shoot” truth. This angle failed to do that. But it also failed in lots of other ways.

1) Brand loyalty is often won by painting self as put upon underdog. WWF painted itself as underdog being attacked, ECW painted self as underdog. WCW was "trying to put WWE out of buisness" by "stealing all their talent" but "not having the creativity"...WCW and WWF were trying to put ECW out of buissness. We fans must ally ourselves aginst them. Painting yourself as defending your own company hopefully will create a sense of alliance between the wrestler and the audience. Attack on the fed is attack on the fans of the fed. The fed and the fans are defending their way of life-- fighting for same cause thus also giving audience an investment in the fight.

2) If you’re going to take shots at opponents company, they need to be tasteless. I mean maybe Gillberg isn’t tasteless but to get the audience to think “Ooh that’s below the belt, the WWE is going to have to respond or they’re pussies” it needs to actually be below the belt shot. Again this is an underdog move. May not be as rich as your opponent may not be able to fight back against their advertising budget but you can hit them where it hurts.

The Voodoo Kin Mafia gimmick is not about WWE hating TNA and going after it. It’s about TNA bringing the “WAR TO THEIR FRONTDOOR”. It’s a pathetic attempt to get recognition, instead of an attempt to defend against attack. And really there is nothing the least bit tasteless about the Voodoo Kin Mafia gimmick.

I don't particularly care for "shoot angles"where you make fun of the opposition in an effort to create fan loyalty. But if thats the goal this was just poorly written. The James Gang aren't the most talented guys out there but damn this really feels like a waste of their talents.

-Wow. You know the Petey Williams LAX angle was bad when it was clearly actively dumber than the Voodoo Kin Mafia segment.That LAX. Petey Williams angle may have been one of the top ten most embarrassing things in the history of TNA booking. I keep on reading about how TNA wants to run border town shows with LAX main eventing, but damn the whole LAX angle is written by idiots. I mean I thought the LAX (when it was two Puerto Ricans and a Cuban) vs. LA Migra match made people look stupid. Flag burning is not just immoral, but also a “federal offense”?? Petey Williams soap boxing “this flag may stand for politics and greed and war but it also stands for opportunity”… They’re going to run a Petey Williams, Sonjay Dutt good immigrant vs. LAX bad politicized immigrant feud?? Mike Tenay gets serious and I start cracking up. “I want to get serious for a moment, I want to take a moment to say something about Petey Williams. The kid who wouldn’t succumb to peer pressure, you’re the real hero”…Disappointed that they didn’t have a chorus humming the “Battle Hymn of the Republic” behind Tenay. Fuck that should be a weekly segment. This week on “Tenay Gets Serious For a Moment” while a chorus sings “His truth is marching on” in the background. Glory, glory, Hallelujah!!

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PRO WRESTLING FUJIWARA-GUMI SHOW #18 12/5/92 BYE BYE PANCRASE BOYS

Yuki Ishikawa v. Mark Ashford-Smith

PAS: Mark Ashford-Smith is Mark Starr of Men at Work fame, your WCWSN fans will remember that he had a great series against Steve Regal so we know he can work the mat and take a whipping. Here he works the mat and takes a whipping, although he lays it in too, I especially loved the forearms to the back of Ishikawa's neck. There was a great straight punch by Ishikawa into a running knee which was straight out of the Diego Sanchez v. Joe Riggs finish, although Mark Starr is tougher then Joe Riggs as he only took an 8 count.

TKG: Mark Ashford-Smith is Mark Starr of Wildside fame, your USWA fans will know he can work a crowd and work a brawl. He didn't really do any brawling here as this was mostly on the mat. This goes 21 minutes and never drags as you feel like only six or seven minutes have passed when they put up the time. You want to see this.

Ryushi Yanigasawa v. Bart Vale

PAS: Yanigasawa kind of proves his toughness by taking a beating by Vale. By 1992 Vale can actually lay in a beating so it looks really great. His straight kick to the face is especially nasty.

TKG: The straight kick always lands with his foot flat on his opponents face. Its great. Vale dominates the mat and Yanigasawa just hangs going for rope breaks and Vale dominates standing just beating Yanigasawa and stepping away from Yanigasawa's strikes. Vale is up three downs (with two rope breaks) to none when Yanigasawa eventually has to tap. So one sided, Vale looks like a bad ass and Yanigaswa looks tough for having hung that long.

Kazuo Takahashi vs. Alexsei Medvedved

TKG: This is kind of conceptually interesting as Takahashi has to build a thirty minute draw around Medvedved. Medvedved brings nothing to a match. He doesn't have good takedowns. He doesn't have good shoots for takedowns. When on the mat he doesn't do anything to press the advantage. He seems unclear on the concept and so will occasionally try to execute turns to get opponents back on the mat. Doesn't sell at all and is just confused and inept. Match eventually becomes Takahashi realizing that he is going to have to press the action. so he goes in for takedowns, Medvedved defends against Takahashi's takedowns, Medvedved than lies on top of Takahashi untill Takahashi can get to ropes, stand up repeat. Takahashi sells the fatigue of being unable to execute takedowns combined with the fatigue from having opponent lay on top of back. The match fatigues me as much as it does Takahashi. amusing way to work a thirty minute draw around a guy who brings nothing...not an entertaining way but amusing.

PAS: Takahashi is a guy who is really great at selling and eating moves, he is a guy whoever who needs something to react to.Medvedved gives him nothing to react to, nothing at all. Takahashi can't really work around someone, so it was just endless takedowns and rope breaks. This was like watching a worked Rashad Evans fight, if Rashad Evans was athletically unimpressive. Medvedved's takedowns were so slapdash that you don't actually buy him taking anyone down with them. Really exposed what you were watching. Dull and fake looking, but at least it was really long.

Minoru Suzuki v. Jerry Flynn

PAS: Flynn was a guy who used mostly kicks in his early PWFG matches, he does alot more matwork and is much more balanced in later stuff. In some ways it makes his matches a little less interesting, as he works the same style as everyone else now. This match had a bunch of really nice exchanges and counters, and was bascially a fine match. I still get the sense it would have been better if Flynn was a little more one dimensional.

TKG: I liked this alot more than Phil. The basic thing about Flynn is that he does allot of defensive stuff. Allot of his kickboxing is very defensive oriented. And a big chunk of his mat work is defense based. Suzuki is constantly a flutter on the mat constantly sprawling trying something new. Thats the contrast that this match is about. As this match really had no stand up, but it was Suzuki on the mat trying to advance past Flynn's defenses while Flynn is looking for Suzuki to overreach and make a mistake so Flynn can catch Suzuki. Suzuki is taking risks, while Flynn exploits those risks.

Yoshiaki Fujiwara v. Ken Shamrock

PAS: Very cool match, Shamrock is really athletic and has great spots, you get a guy like Fujiwara or Sano to put that into a match it will be really great. The first part of the match has Shamrock using that athleticism to take Fujiwara down and get him into submissions, but Fujiwara has an answer for everything, and keeps doing awesome reversals into submissions. I really think Fujiwara is the greatest counter wrestler ever. Shamrock finally gets fed up with taking him down, and starts kickboxing. He gets a quick down, and then knocks him out with an enziguri to Fujiwara's face. The match feels a little truncated, especially considering how rarely Fujiwara loses. The standup section really should have gone a little longer, as Fujiwara kind of got squashed as soon as they stood.

TKG: I don't have much to add to what Phil says here other than I really liked the process of Fujiwara getting escapes. As he goes from guy caught to guy struggling to guy coming up with something in a visually exciting way When Fujiwara is beat you can tell he's beat as he seems just completely unprepared for the change in tactics.

Masakatsu Funaki v. David Gobedjshvilli

PAS: This is Funaki's swan song to overtly worked wrestling as went off to Pancrase after this match. This was better then most Funaki matches, as it had a cool story. Gobedjshvilli had some giant looking takedowns, which Funaki couldn't stop, but Funaki was picking him apart standing, I especially loved Funaki working low kicks dropping his guard to land a big high kick. Funaki finishes with an ankle submission which is counter to what they were doing, but it's Funaki you can't expect everything.

TKG: Gobedjihishivi really works like a guy who has no idea of how to defend against the kicks. At one point he tries a karate kid crane stance. He tries to shift to a southpaw stance. Gobedjihishivi spent his childhood watching bootleg kung fu movies poorly dubbed into Russian and damnit he was going to try every crouching stance he could remember. You can watch the Russian's childhood illusions crumble as one drunken tiger stance after another fails him.

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Pro WRESTLING FUJIWARA-GUMI SHOW #17 10/4/92 THE DOME~!

Ryushi Yanigasawa v. Yuki Ishikawa

PAS: This really had all the heat of a Dome show opener. It is possible it was happening while they were setting up the chairs, although we might have heard chairs being set up. It seems to go to an 8 minute draw and was a batch of nothing.

TKG: Phil is being generous. Although I think I liked the opening minute, but after that this didn't really happen.

Joe Malenko v. Georgui Galdava

PAS: This was great as Galdava is quite an awesome fake Volk Han, and Joe Malekno is Joe Malenko. Lots of nasty leg twisting counters, and Galdava had some really great amateur throws. The finish was awesome too, as Malenko nearly touches Galdava's foot to his head.

TKG: Good gawd the finish pretzel hold was narsty. They did a bunch of meaningful rope breaks for a fed where no one has ever lost due to rope breaks. Still both guys worked "frustrated" by opponents ability to escape to ropes. This was filled with neat shifting of levels as one guy moved from bottom to top and then was moved back to bottom again.

Naoki Sano v. Jerry Flynn

PAS: Sano was the show stealer for a bunch of the 1991 PWFG so I am amped to see him back. The opening was basically kickboxing, and Sano has some great leg kicks, just tremendous velocity and force. There was some really nice mat stuff too, and a really hot finish. All you would want from an undercard shootstyle match

TKG: Yeah these two match up nicely. Last time they matched up it was more Flynn as the better striker vs. Sano as better mat guy. Here story a little more complicated as both bring different types of skills to the stand up game and different types of skills to the mat one. And you have a sense that either can play into the hands of either wrestler. the throw into the finish was super great too.

Bart Vale v. Aleksei Medvedved

PAS: Medvedved has shaved his chest hair so he looks a little less Boratish then he did last time. He was still rocking the lemon lime unitard (I call it a Sprite). The Russians were really wearing more candy paint then Young Joc's Cadillac on this show. Vale has gotten so good, and this had the illusion of being competitive with Medvedved really being unable to do much. Aleksei did have an almost Takahashish ability to sell a knockdown though.

TKG: The shaving of the chest may give Medvedved a less Boratish look. but his arm swings and gait really give him a Borat/Eugeneish feel. Vale keeps on pasting him in the forehead as Medvedved prances around circling. Last time we saw Medvedved he was pretty much squashed here he's in this competitive match where you really get a sense of how good Vale is. At this point I think Vale has pretty much lapped all the guys who are about to go to Pancrase as workers. The mat stuff was sweet and the standup was filled with super nasty Vale kicks.

Duane Koslowski v. Naniev Olegg

TKG: I was expecting this to be the least of the Florida guys vs. Russians but this was surprisingly good. Olegg brings alot more to the table than Medvedved and this actually is nicely paced with both fighting for advantage as this really felt like a high scoring RPW match. The finisher with Olegg putting a reverse figure four on Koslowski's left leg was spectacular.

PAS: Koslowski had been consistently been a guy with cool spots in search of a guy to put a match together. He never got a singles against Fujiwara who I think could do it, one wouldn't think a match against a Russian would be his best, but this was really good. It really felt like a RINGS match, with alot of countering and shifting on this mat. The finish was just amazing.

Yoshiaki Fujiwara vs. Zaour Chabadze

TKG: So Chabadze is a Russian champion Arm Wrestler and I was going into this fully expecting a hard head vs. claw match. While that would have been spectacular this was every bit as good if not greater. For an arm wrestling champ Chabadze isn't built like Scott Norton or Big Daddy Goodridge. Instead he has just this huge apelike wingspan as his arms look twice the length of his torso and are filled with just multitude of muscles. Match is really all about Chabadze dominating Fujiwara on the ground through arm strength. Fujiwara tries to keep his arms together and tries to manipulate his center of gravity to keep from just being thrown around by Chabadze' s wings. And eventually Chabadze gets fed up and asks for a standup. there's this huge pop as guy who dominated on ground needs standup. Fujiwara goes to corner wipes the sweat off his body by rubbing himself against turnbuckle. And slaps Chabadze across the face. Man this match rules.....

PAS: The reason this match was better then anything on the show was the way Fujiwara can establish hierarchies. While Malenko v. Galdava was alot of fun as was Koslowski v. Olegg, they were basically worked as two even guys rolling on the mat looking for advantages. Here Chabadze is a monster, he can take Fujiwara down at will as is so strong that Fujiwara is helpless on the mat. So the crowd is super hot because it looks like the aging legend is going to get steamrolled, does he have any tricks left this is the worlds greatest Rocky 4.

Kazuo Takahashi vs. Suppaman Sattasaba

TKG: This may go a minute. Sattasaba is a thai Kickboxer and Takahashi is really good at selling kicks, but I don't think Suppaman got a single kick off.

PAS: Most of these Thai kickboxer matches suck, but I was kind of looking forward to seeing Takahashi eat some Thai knees. I'll take short though.

Wayne Shamrock vs. Don Neilson

TKG: I think this may have gone thirty seconds.

PAS: I don't get the point of this being this short, but had no problems moving quickly through this part of the card.


Minoru Suzuki vs. David Gobedjishivili

TKG: Gobedjishivili controls the first minute throwing a cautious Suzuki around. Suzuki figures he can take Gobedjishivi's throws, gets less cautious and wins this at about the three minute point. Not as good as the Fujiwara match or any of the Florida guys matches but whatever.

PAS: Suzuki had some nice dickish head bobbing, which is something he does a ton of now, but didn't really do in PWFG much. Gobedjishivilli has some nice throws, but this was again short and squashish.

Masakatsu Funaki vs. Maurice Smith

TKG: This is worked three minute rounds with Mo Smith controlling most of them. Dominating standup and blocking all take down attempts. Smith gets one knock down on Funaki in third round and Funaki gets off his first successful takedown. Funaki gets off a couple take downs in final round but this seems to be an exhibition match as their are no judges and both guys hands are raised at the end.

PAS: I don't get the lack of judges, and I don't understand having the Japanese guy dominated for so much of the match if it was going to end in a draw. Was it a moral victory for just lasting with Mo Smith? I could see a moral victory if Smith was fighting Ishikawa. Moral victories seem weird for a main event.

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