TNA IMPACT WORKRATE REPORT EPISODE #49

WHAT WORKED:

THE MACK BROTHERS~!!! HOLY SHIT!!! Who are these guys??? Last weeks show I went into a long involved thing about this promotions poor use of jobbers and then they go and bring out these crazy fucks who take every single bump in the biggest most painful way possible. I've said again and again that I'm tired of squash matches but if you're going to run squashes you need to do them right. And this was doing a squash right. I need to see more of the fucking MACK BROTHERS!!!!

Hey the X Division guys are watching Jackass to train for their future matches. AWESOME!!! I mean they're going to fuck this up but the thing about Jackass is that those guys actually know how to sell big spots. Each skit/ match builds to one big spot, spot is sold as something that hurts and skit is over. None of the no-selling stringing of meaningless spots together that the X division guys tend to do. Big spots lead directly to finishes. You can see why Jerry Lynn doesn't understand this.

Speaking of comedy skits: TNA does the sports entertainment right!!! HOLY SHIT, when did TNA figure out how to do sports entertainment this well? the problem with allot of the McMahon/Russo sports entertainment philosophy was always pretty obvious. "No one wants to see long wrestling matches so we'll give them short wrestling matches and long skits" fails to recognize that most wrestlers can't pull off long skits. Hell most SNL professional comedians can't pull off long skits. End result was you had a lot of wrestling programming built around one joke skits stretched too long. That's painful enough on SNL but especially bad on show without professional actors. Somehow someone in TNA figured this out. And so this week was filled with quick two minute skits. You set up premise and deliver the punch line and then stop...skit over. The Slick Johnson skit was kept to a quick visual bit with no dialogue and Don West narration. Jeremy Borash never opened his mouth he just was guy holding the mic. Shane Douglas and Naturals stuff is dumb but kept quick and to the point. Bobby Heenan is completely washed up at this point but segment got point across quickly. The X division guys backstage watching Jackass got the point across and was over. All of the Jarrett and Eric Young segments were perfect as they just got the joke over and never tried to stretch the little bits out too long. The short spots all lead to the big piece at the end with Cornette doing matchmaking. Cornette is great in that role and the fan lumberjack match was sold well as you transitioned form the comedy into the danger. Jarrett and Young played their roles with him well. Just all the comedy/sports entertainment came off as really well done and efficient.

WHAT DIDN'T WORK:

While everything else was efficient, you couldn't have made that Raven/James Mitchell segment short enough not to be embarrasing. Both guys depend on meandering Dungeons and Dragons mic work...and the combo of both in same promotional package made me long for the Raven's mom angle.

Matches weren't really any good. James Gang/with Smiley and Shark Boy vs. AMW and Bentley/Kazarian was about two minutes long and still messy. The Christian vs. Killings match had some interesting ideas. Christian was really fun in role of guy in showcase matches on RAW. He played weak heel who did allot of Terry Funk shtick and bumping, had a nice Anaconda vice, and an over out of nowhere finisher. He came into TNA as a guy positioned on top and has never really figured out how to work from on top in TNA. Never figured out how to work as not-weak guy. Never figured out how to work as strong face. Here he's back to working as a heel. But instead of working as a weak heel he tried to work as strong one and he had some interesting ideas on how to pull it off, how much to give Killings and when to cut him off. the Tomakaze has always been an out of nowhere finisher. Finisher that you don't need to build to and it's a believable head dropping finisher. Here Christian builds all of his offense around working the upper body and neck attacks. Came back on offense through lariats, snapmares, neckbreakers, rope assisted sling blade, neck vises, etc. And you got the sense that he might be a guy who can figure out how to work heel from the top. Or he might make a great Tom Pritchard tag partner. After all that match is won with a spear and really the match was bad but you still got the impression that Christian is a guy who might potentially figure out how to be effective in TNA. Still match stank.

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TNA IMPACT WORKRATE REPORT EPISODE #48

WHAT WORKED:

I liked Ron Killings' shirt. Killings tells Christian that he needs to stop making excuses. You win some, you loose some. So for those of you who haven't been following TNA since the beginning to recap: In 2002 Ron “The Truth” Killings was working the gimmick of being an "Uppity Negro" demanding an immediate end to racism and reparations for past crimes. He was so over with the Nashville crowd with that gimmick that the fed really had no choice but to give him the belt. He was booked as a heel. Over the next three years, Killings was booked as a babyface in a mid card trio. He kept his mouth shut and lets the lighter skin folk in his tag team do the talking for him and dances and smiles. He's now a singles allowed back on the mic as a happy go lucky wrestler "you win some, you loose some" " "WHAT'S UP WHAT'S UP!!" Ah I can't get up the energy to write about this as I really don't care about the way Killings has been used by this fed and anyways I just read the Aja Kong bio from the WON HOF issue where Meltzer comments on how she's surprisingly articulate. "she's known for being quick-witted and funny on camera, and the Japanese love the paradox of the monster who you think can't spell cat if you spot the "c" and "a" showing instead they have are smart"...Ahh you got to love the Japanese. I imagine they would also get a big kick out of the paradox of "Is fat back grissy?"... Still, it was a nice shirt.

The video packages setting up the "public execution" were awful. The Mike Tenay/Don West mic work pimping the "live public execution" later on the show was shit. But I really enjoyed the Jarrett mic work. As it was super old school and fun and the Cornette over phone stuff was even more old school and still fun. Man I haven't seen an over the phone conference on a wrestling show in two decades. As our society moves more and more in the direction of digital communication and tele conferencing. I want to see this make a comeback.

WHAT DIDN'T WORK:

This show sucked!!!!

Outside of the Jarrett/Cornette stuff there was no good mic work/sports entertainment stuff. Goofball overproduced video packages. Ooh spooky spiritual Sting video package...Ooh elaborate execution video packages. Just shitty. I've already mentioned the bad Christian v Killings mic work but I should also mention that Christian talking about how he's already beat down another wannabe rapper is dumb. Really mentioning that he once worked Cena makes everything seem even more budget. Show starts out with LAX continuing their Gangstas in SMW stuff. And while Homicide is worlds better than D-lo, and Hernandez is worlds better than Mustafa...Konan just isn't New Jack on the mic. New Jack knew how to work a heel promo when he was working heel and how to work a face promo when working face. New Jack came out in front of SMW and told them that the Gangstaas weren't fans of the audiences beloved old babyface minorities. "The JYD days are over, the dancing Too Cold Scorpio Days are over". New Jack didn't come out and tell the audience "When I beat Ricky Morton, I'll dedicate my win to Junkyard Dog who was always a great brawler but never got to hold a title because while he amused you white folks, you wanted him as a clown and kept him down. Dedicate it to Rufus R Jones, Burrhead Jones,Willy B Hurt and the rest of my brothers who were never given the respect they deserve." It's not an effective heel promo. Dedicating your matches to beloved babyfaces, even if you attach race baiting doesn't make for a heel promo. Konan dedicating his match to his mother, Mil, Jose Lothario, Tito Santana, Pedro Morales and the Guerreros makes for a shitty heel promo. Heel promor built around love for mama and beloved babyface wrestlers of the past???? And really they need to stop using Daniels as the mic worker for the face team...him challenging heels doesn't have the fire that Styles can get on the mic. "We have exercised our rematch clause!!"...He's an angry actuary.

While talking about the shitty SE elements of the show...I say this pretty regularly but Mike Tenay is awful in role of guy who feels need to explain all of the booking. Let the action speak for itself...no need to explain everything. Mike Tenay "I love that motion eric Young does with his eye. It's almost like he's saying he's "eye to eye" on the level with the TNA fans"... I imagine Tenay explaining "I love that move that Scott Hall does shaking his hand..It's as though he's mocking his opponent by pretending that he's so scared that his hand is shaking". "I love that motion that Austin does with his two hands, it's like by crossing both third fingers he's saying I'm not only flipping you off with one finger but with both hands and his full essence"..Stop explaining everything.

And well the matches stank too.

The Sabin/Lethal vs. Ki/Williams match was just a mess that did nothing to heat up the match they're trying to build. Williams starts the match up and can't figure out wether he's working face or heel and pretty much the bulk of match is built around Williams vs. Sabin's touring match. We've already seen that. It isn't good. come back from commercial break with Ki heelishly riding and humiliating Lethal while Sabin does the worlds shittiest pro forma partner on apron complaining to ref. It was like Sabin had never seen a tag match and only read about the partner on apron spots. but we get very little of the Lethal vs. Ki as we're back to Williams in the ring. On of the things about TNA is that they have alot of guys who I'd rather see anywhere else. Guys I'd rather see working real match than stuck doing exhibition meaningless X-division crap. Petey Williams isn't one of those guys as really you don't want to see him outside of xdivision crap. You don't want to see him actually build a real match...stick to spot spot spot...Well anyways here Williams goes for some attempts at matwork and well really you don't want to see it. Match ends with the same Williams reversal into Sabin reversal into Williams reversal into Sabin reversal of sic flip piledriver into cradle shock that we've seen a million times. Rather see that than Williams try anything else. But still.

This fed has no understanding of how to use their jobbers. Norman Smiley and Shark Boy aren't big bumping jobbers. They're guys who know how to lay out a basic match. Some mat work, some comedy spots..some structure. Ideal jobbers to work opposite guys like Williams or Dutt (guys with one or two hot moves but can't structure a match if his life depended on it). Instead TNA puts them in matches against Abyss in short squashes that demand big bump style jobbers. Eric Young is a guy who can bump big, structure a match, throw good punches and has a personality that's really over with the crowd. He needs a jobber that plays to his strengths...large jobber that plays to Young's status as over underdog. Young can act afraid and agitated in front of useless big guy, run and bump (doesn't even need to bump for offense just do comedy running bumping) hiding and eventually dominate with comedy and brawling. Ideally match him up with a guy like Hoyt or maybe an unmasked Abyss. Here they ran a match between Young and Shark boy??? Why run a cult fan favorite vs. cult fan favorite? The big thing Young has going for him is the crowd being really into him. Putting him up against another cult fan favorite totally undermines his strength. Shark boy takes 80% of the offense and then Young blows his ridiculous wheel barrow into ace crusher finisher. Stupid booking--and blown finisher makes for shitty match.

Hey I was just talking about useless big guy and here he is. Abyss vs. Spike stank as completely exposed Abyss. The commentators claim there is a 1 foot height difference. Spike has a great first run of offense but when Spike isn't on offense, Abyss is and well Abyss doesn't have good looking offense. A big portion of match is built around set up of two thumb tack covered tables that have nothing to do with the match finish. Yeah thats right they spend a big portion of match setting up a stacked table spot that never used in match. Why not just have the tables pre set up. James Mitchell is no Uncle Honky and is completely awkward trying to help set up tables. Raven comes in post match and has a set of really shitty exchanges with Abyss and then carries Spike away. Spike is being booked as Cassidey O Reilly??? Spike vs. Mad Man Pondo would have been a better match. By a lot. Who books a garbage match where you build a big contraption and then don't use it??

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