Got the Feeling Gulak Can't Move Without Sliding

Drew Gulak/Brian Kendrick/Tony Nese vs. Cedric Alexander/Rich Swann/TJ Perkins WWE Raw 10/17/16 - FUN

ER: Fun stuff, a real Gulak/Kendrick showcase. Cedric looked good too, but he had Kendrick and Gulak flopping and flying around for him soooo. Kendrick is a real fun ringleader of goons in this, with Nese as his musclehead goon and Gulak as his snake pit goon, letting them do the dirty work while he makes blind tags to capitalize, and every time he's in just sees him getting bumped in big ways. Gulak's fast sequences with Cedric were good, and I loved him eating that slingshot kick from TJ on the floor. Kendrick was an awesome focused Teddy Hart here, bumping early to the floor and selling a knee, cutting the ring off on Cedric only to take a big backdrop, and vulturing that Nese 450 with his choke. The match was put on in the ultimate dead zone, after a 1 minute tag match but before the big Goldberg appearance, and they somehow manage to get some good crowd reactions. Crowd popped for Swann's nice headscissors and reacted to some characters they really haven't been given tons of reasons to react to. That feels like a win.

Drew Gulak vs. John Morrison WWE Main Event 9/30/21 - FUN

ER: Here's a cool match that's never happened before and I don't think I've ever thought about before. Morrison always gets put into matches with fliers, and not nearly enough against technicians who shut down fliers. Morrison is by definition a heavyweight, but Gulak hits harder, so it's a heavyweight using cruiserweight movements to evade the heavyweight work of a cruiser. I love it. Gulak works snug wrist and armlocks while Morrison cartwheels out of the tight arm work, rolling into pins using leverage without even using his arms. Now, some of Morrison's kicks and headstands and spinning come off too slow and awkward to sustainably work in this match, but I thought Gulak did a great job staying in proper position for all of it. Morrison's slow break dancing offense doesn't always reveal where it is going to wind up, so catching it naturally while looking like you're biting at feints isn't easy, but Gulak spent years training with small fliers with grand ideas and hitchy execution of those ideas so the man has an uncanny knack of being in the right place. 

Gulak is just as great at catching the big stuff, and Morrison's big stuff is more interesting than his array of headstand kicks that barely touch his opponent. Morrison  nails a high speed tornillo tope that annihilates Gulak, and that's the kind of Morrison I love. Morrison should lean into taking freaky Low Ki bumps that most people don't have the body control to pull off, like when Gulak knocks him off the top rope and he rolls and bounces off the ropes to the mat in cool ways, or the way he willingly gets bodyslammed crazily into the ropes. Gulak capitalizing on Morrison's slow rolling is the best, turning a cradle into a nice armbar. This had the bones of a match that should have been better, and part of that is because sometimes Morrison's parkour is on, sometimes the set-up is lacking. You let he and Gulak work this match a couple more times, we'd get a great one. 

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE DREW GULAK

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WWE TLC 2020 Late Blog

My sister is moving in a month, so I spent the weekend with her packing boxes and moving things into her garage. A stunt show PPV I can have on in the background and pay partial attention to sounds like it could be fun. Not super familiar with the card so I'm kind of going in blind, which hopefully leads to being pleasantly caught off guard. Am very excited for Sasha/Carmella.

Daniel Bryan/Otis/Chad Gable/Big E vs. King Corbin/Cesaro/Shinsuke Nakamura/Sami Zayn 

ER: Bryan keeps shaving the sides of his head higher and higher, and he continues his career trend of Always Having the Hair of a 10 Year Old. Otis is wearing a Vader singlet, and this match looks like something that can't miss on paper. These 8 guys in a 2000s NOAH setting would light things on fire, so I'm high hoping this one. And it was actually really good. It had a great Coliseum Video feel to it, the way it was worked, and the way it was 4 babyfaces vs. 4 heels and they're mostly aligned because of being either a face or a heel. Zayn was avoiding Big E and running around the ring and hiding like Jimmy Hart, and it was balanced well with quick tags and a brief cool down to build to the big finish run. Corbin is good at working cool down (that's an actual compliment) and good at inserting himself in the hot finish, Bryan glues all this together to build to the big Otis hot tag, and the finish stretch move chaining all looked good. Cesaro hits this awesome deadlift Dr. Bomb and just lets him go, Corbin hits a great spinebuster on Otis, we get our big showdown between Big E and Zayn and Zayn gets caught. It's all very satisfying pro wrestling. 

AJ Styles vs. Drew McIntyre

ER: I really liked this, but thought the ladder stuff really took away from the match at points. I liked the first 8 minutes when no weapons were used the best, with Styles bumping big around the ring and ringside. He took hard hits into the buckles, got dropped ribs first a couple times on the barricade, got thrown over a table with chairs on it as if he were in a fight in a closed bar, and it was great. Setting up tables and climbing ladders changed the pace of the match, which they made up for by building to hard landings (Styles gets tossed hard on a ladder and thrown over the top through a table at ringside), so everything looks like it really stings. But I think the ladder climbing really took me out of it as the climbing doesn't feel anywhere near as climactic as had they just been wrestling. Miz cashing in his briefcase and then doing the slowest possible climb really made this stip feel stupid, though I think the fight choreography when they got to all three fighting on the ladders was good. Styles working over McIntyre's leg lead to a couple nice moments, like the calf slicer through the ladder. Styles' bump off the ladder to the floor looked sick, and Miz was made to look like an absolutely tremendous fool. Also, I do not need Miz in the title scene and him losing in this kind of fashion is perfectly fine for me. A match that lost me, but one that also had a lot of good (front loaded), but needed an editor. 

Sasha Banks vs. Carmella

ER: I thought this was really good, as good as I was hoping it to be. It had a couple twists and turns, made Carmella look like a worthy challenger, built to a feverish home stretch, one of those matches where a better opponent helps bring out the best parts of Carmella. Sasha is really great at this point, so much that it always bums me out that none of this is playing in front of live crowds. Sasha feels like she'd be the biggest thing in 2020 wrestling if there were live shows. I'm really glad this was a straight match and not worked under the TLC stip, a straight match was the right choice and the drama over nearfalls and submissions is more interesting than climbing and falling. The involvement of Reginald was good, loved him catching Carmella on a dive, ducking Sasha, and tossing her into a headscissors. And the payback was well played late in the match with Sasha hitting a meteora and then getting blasted by a couple superkicks for a genuinely strong nearfall. I thought Carmella could actually win it there. Sasha was great at running into everything Carmella had, and both kept things real close on sunset flips and small packages. It's really nice seeing such fine execution on pinfall attempts. I loved both of Carmella's submissions, both of them look like sick lucha maestro subs and are both somehow locked on just as smoothly. Both of those subs would look awesome applied by Negro Navarro or Blue Panther, but it also looks awesome applied by Carmella. It makes me happy. This whole match was fun throughout, really made me smile and enjoy the wrestling the whole time. A very tight build and explosive finishing stretch, just another great Big Match Sasha performance. 

Shelton Benjamin/Cedric Alexander vs. Xavier Woods/Kofi Kingston

ER: This was good, and kept up the same fun energy the entire rest of the show has had so far. This has been a very fun show, everyone feels like they're trying a couple new things in the ring, it's made things feel special so far. This tag was no different, and it made me realize that I appreciate that The Hurt Business actually seems to be growing as an idea. I like that it wasn't one of those ideas where WWE seems on board with it for two weeks and then loses all interest, instead it seems like they're letting it grow naturally. It's given new life to Shelton Benjamin and made him as relevant as he's been in 15 years. If they want to they could let him ride out a couple more years as an upper card tag worker and he'd be great at it. It's also been good for Cedric Alexander, who instead of being one of several similar 205 Live babyfaces, his style feels more focused for being in a regular tag team. Both teams worked a fun fast big bumps style, and kept the match to a brisk 10 minutes for maximum impact. I love how definitively Hurt Business won the belts. There was no bullshit, just a dominant team catching the champs. Benjamin hit a pop up superplex that should play in Hurt Business highlight videos, and the Alexander backcracker finisher is the premier use of that overused move, and shows that an overplayed move can still be used effectively. I'd love to see the Hurt Business continue to evolve and even add members, and would love to see them have a run with multiple title holders in the stable. This whole match really got me into the potential of them, so I'd call that a huge success. 

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler vs. Asuka/Charlotte

ER: I was just thinking the other day that I had not missed Charlotte, and yet I was happy to see her here just because I will take any new face in this match rather than see Lana in the main women's program on Raw. It's poorly executed, it's obvious, the commentary screams all of the bullet points for how we're supposed to feel about it all, but I just don't want Lana in these matches anymore. That said, I wish it didn't feel like Charlotte was immediately Superwoman again. It felt like she just ran through Nia and Shayna, and while I admit the Nia/Shayna hasn't lived up to its potential, they should be a pair who are on Charlotte's level. You can make an argument for the surprise factor, they weren't expecting her, but they just got outmatched and I didn't like that. Asuka automatically feels like the smaller banana with Charlotte around, as she had to spend the match being the one to take a lot of Nia and Shayna's offense. But Asuka is good at that and I liked the way her hip attack took Nia out of things at the finish. Still, this match played into my worse fear, that we're going to go straight back to a Charlotte-dominated scene. 

Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

ER: This didn't feel far off, but this didn't work for me. I didn't like the Uso interference, and Uso made to look as effective as a manager only type. There were a lot of big spills - maybe too many - yet I thought several of the biggest ones were shrugged off in the name of blocking someone's climbing. I was not into the slow climbs no matter how earned they were with big bumps. I thought going to Uso for every big Reigns comeback came off weak, and that it would have been perhaps more played out to have the interference happen in only one big moment instead of all through the match, but it would have made for a better match and made it appear Owens had more of a chance. Roman going through the barricade looked fantastic, and was one of the best looking "leveled barricade" spots they've done. No matter how I felt about the match layout as a whole, I thought that looked the best. Owens took some nasty falls into ladders (Roman too), but these slow paced Roman walking matches have not been my thing. 

So, I had a really fun time watching this show, and the vibe seems to be turning with those last couple matches, turning into something much less good. The tag match and Reigns match were not my thing but I also don't think they were bad. BUT. It feels like I would be tossing a lot of goodwill and pleasant memories right out the window if I put myself through a Randy Orton/Fiend match. I mean what kind of psychopath would I have to be to do that? 2020 has been difficult enough, why would I put myself through all of that? Let's go out on a high note, and be happy for the fun stuff we did get. 

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WWE Big 3: Lorcan, Gallagher, Gulak 4/5-4/11/20

Oney Lorcan/Danny Burch vs. Ricochet/Cedric Alexander WWE Raw 4/6

ER: This was a fun surprise, the first ever Raw appearances of Lorcan and Burch. If you live in Tampa, you're on Raw! was the theme of this show, but give me a fun Burch/Lorcan sprint and whatever. Match was under 4 minutes, but it was worked like they were trying to fit as much into 210 seconds as possible. Lorcan and Burch weren't winning, but I'm glad that they weren't treated as cannon fodder and were instead treated as equals. There's no reason they shouldn't be equals, but I wasn't expecting it. Burch especially got to really lace into Alexander, absorbing some kicks from Cedric to be close enough to throw a couple of great punches, a headbutt, and some uppercuts. It's fun seeing Lorcan and Burch cut Alexander off from tags. They weirdly gave Apollo Crews a half hour to work, probably more time on Raw than he's had combined in two years, so at this point I got excited that we might be getting a stretched out Lorcan tag classic. Well, things went downhill pretty quickly for them once Ricochet finally tagged in. Once that happened it was a pretty quick Cedric/Ricochet show, with every Lorcan/Burch move being evaded, Burch tossed to the floor, and Lorcan eating a nice atomic drop/enziguiri double team before getting downed by the shooting star. I would have loved to see this get even two more minutes, but it was a nice surprise seeing Lorcan on Raw.


9. Jack Gallagher vs. Oney Lorcan 205 Live 4/10/20

ER: First time EVER singles match between these two, no clue what took them so long. Last week they talked about Gallagher's new vicious side while he was not doing any vicious offense. Well, this week the new side came out in full, as he pummeled Lorcan's body nearly the entire runtime. Before we get to the pummeling we start with some cool matwork, because we're in the weird era of WWE where guys here now have cooler matwork than guys on the indies or Japan (with a couple notable exceptions). All of Gallagher's traps and set-ups were great, loved him tightly wrapping his legs around Lorcan's legs to force pressure on Lorcan's joints, and these are guys who are also clearly going to be great at headscissors escapes. Gallagher really focuses his attacks afterward on Lorcan's body, big open hand shots that he kept landing and landing, finding gaps. He even kicks Lorcan across the ring with nice shots to the ribs. Lorcan showed he can hit with more power, but Gallagher was the one absorbing a big shot to land 3 shots to the body, even egging Lorcan on. Lorcan reddened Gallagher's chest with chops, which made his clipper ship tattoo look like it was heading off into the sunset. I hadn't seen Gallagher utilize his headbutt since starting on his new vicious side, but here he makes up for all of that by throwing out a dozen: A couple big wind-up shots, and a bunch of short thrusting blows to Lorcan's ribs, neck, and chest while trapping him in the corner. Lorcan pays Gallagher back with big running attacks and big throws, having given up on trading with him. Lorcan's running back elbow was an all timer here, his half nelson looked like it was going to bounce Gallagher off his ear, and he threw a short powerful clothesline that whipped Gallagher inside out so quickly that I had to rewind to see just what the hell happened. The finish of this was dumb, with Tony Nese being a doofus cop breaking up two teens making out in a car, just the worst possible timing. But up until the Neseing this was everything you wanted from 2/3 of the Big 3 throwing down.

PAS: This was really dope up until the turd ending. It is weird that these guys have been circling each other for years now, but have never matched up before and of course it is great. Gallagher seems to be going straight shootstyle with his new gimmick, which is a weird choice, but totally awesome. He was amazing in that first Tetsujin show, and it is really cool to watch him drop the WOS stuff and just focus on vicious body shots, Ikeda headbutts, and leglocks. Lorcan is a perfect antagonist for this. He isn't going to have that same level of skill on the mat, but he is going to totally match the intensity, I loved him trying to forcibly remove Gallagher's tattoo with his chops. Tony Nese is such a blight, why can't he be sensibly concerned about his health and stay home.


2020 MOTY MASTER LIST

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WWE Big 3: Lorcan, Gallagher, Gulak 12/29/19-1/4/20 + Bonus MOTY List Lorcan

Smackdown 1/3/20

Drew Gulak vs. Otis

ER: I really wish we can get an actual, meaningful 8 minute match. I figured this would only get 3 minutes tops - which it did - but an actual full match with a long Gulak control segment and two different Otis comebacks would no doubt still be one of my favorite TV matches 363 days later at the end of 2020. This one won't be remembered, but it was two guys I love to watch just making me want to see them tangle more. What we got was good, with Otis tossing Gulak with abandon, really planting him with suplexes and launching him with a press slam. Gulak hits a hard dropkick to Otis's thigh and slaps him good, but that was mostly it for Drew. Otis hits some hard bodyslams and crushes ribs with the Caterpillar, then hits a heavy ass Vader bomb. These two really could work a cracking 8-10 minute TV match if given the chance; force Otis to use more grappling and maybe get a good Otis injures a limb story. Here's hoping.


BONUS 2019 CATCH-UP


39. Oney Lorcan vs. Cedric Alexander 205 Live 4/16/19

ER: This might just be the best use of the 2019 WWE trope of giving 205 Live singles matches way too much time. This match goes just shy of 20 minutes, and again it's totally unfathomable that WWE would just be throwing out 20 minute TV matches between two cruiser wrestlers with little or no build. They threw these guys out there all year and let their ring work speak for itself, which was awesome in some ways, and in other ways showed the benefits of giving fans something OTHER than ring work to root for. And this match really made it look like no other guy on the roster knows how to fill time, because they filled this time in tons of interesting ways without ever backing themselves into a corner. Lorcan and Alexander worked a cool back and forth match, odds on victory shifting the entire duration, all of the transitions back to one guy in control making sense. Lorcan attempted to control with tight headlocks, and whenever Alexander would break free he'd pepper Lorcan with strikes: big chops that left nice welts (Nigel on commentary even said those chops were skipping off Lorcan's chest right into his Adam's apple, which is a cool bit of commentary), combos that didn't feel stale or rehearsed (including a great moment where he took Lorcan about systematically, kicking out his knee, drops him to his knees with an uppercut as hard as any thrown by Lorcan, then throws a boot to the chest), and Lorcan would be there waiting whenever Alexander got too showy.

Whenever Alexander would appeal to the crowd, Lorcan was there to punish, and a story of a flier getting punished whenever he shows flash is a cool story to me. Alexander goes for a big tope and Lorcan matadors him right into the barricade (replays showing the back of Cedric's head whipping into the barricade) and then tosses him just as hard into the LED ring skirt; later, when Alexander had Lorcan reeling after a nice strike combo, Alexander goes for a handspring something-or-other and Lorcan is there waiting to fly into him with a European uppercut. Lorcan is really exciting about chaining together offense, and him stacking a flying European uppercut with his cool running blockbuster and *another* flying uppercut will always make for a good nearfall. Alexander would catch him too, and I bought into a nearfall off an surprise Alexander Michinoku Driver at what turned out to be only halfway through this whole epic. The finishing run was so dominant, Lorcan chaining increasingly violent moves together in a way that would have made an Alexander kickout frankly ludicrous. And it all started with them framing their final strike exchange right on the ring apron; ring apron stuff has been the scourge of wrestling these past couple years, but I like that they build to the one (really big) apron moment in the final minute of the match, both men grabbing each other by the jaw and slapping taste, until Lorcan is able to just dump Cedric on the apron with a half nelson suplex. What. The. Hell. Lorcan is a guy who throws protected stomach bump half nelsons in the middle of the ring, but here he is just planting Alexander on the apron with one. And when Lorcan smells the blood of a win in the water it's a glorious thing, as he quickly slides Alexander into the ring, pastes him with a lariat that knocks Cedric a couple directions at once, and then flips him with another half nelson. This was a match that really knew how to build to different notes and peaks, building to bigger and bigger spots while not taking the action too far down in between those builds, ending with the biggest moments and resisting temptation to turn that built to finish into a series of stupid nearfalls. This was a 205 Live match MORE than worthy of its allotted time, and Lorcan's win came off huge.

PAS: This was about as good as you are going to get from a workrate juniors match in 2019. Lorcan is basically a fast Finlay at this point, as everything he does has that same sort of sharpness and he always finds a fun way to put a twist on something. I loved how he was just sniping Alexander out of the air, him catching the in ring dive with the uppercut was one of the coolest spots of the year, I also loved Alexander's concussed sell. I wouldn't have minded if the match ended right there, but that huge offense run by Lorcan did make the victory seem like a huge deal. Alexander was right there with him, making a fun dance partner for what Lorcan was bringing. Alexander with someone else working his style (Ali, Buddy Murphy) isn't much, but he is a cool guy to bring into a styles clash.


2019 MOTY MASTER LIST

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WWE Big 3: Lorcan, Gallagher, Gulak 2019 Catch-Up

ER: No 205 Live this week, no sign of our guys this week, and it feels like we've seen much less of our guys ever since Smackdown started on Fox. A sign of bad things to come. BUT there is still 2019 stuff from these guys that we haven't seen, and this gives us another chance to dig back and find potential gems.

Oney Lorcan vs. Cedric Alexander WWE 205 Live 3/12/19

ER: Great stuff from these guys, a cool slow burn tournament match that built nicely to the biggest parts but didn't race through them once they got there. The first half of this is cool, the whole thing could have been worked with no ropes, a lot of the action based around holds or strikes. Even the running attacks didn't really need the ropes, as it was just both guys using the large ring to build whatever momentum they needed. Lorcan lands chops and uppercuts, Alexander throws back chops of his own and a couple kicks, Lorcan hits a hard lariat and works a waistlock and abdominal stretch, and the whole thing is very contained but very engaging. By the time they're using the ropes it feels like the match has taken off into the next plane, and I especially liked the swinging flatliner Alexander hit. I thought both guys were really good at busying themselves while waiting for attacks, like the way Alexander stumbled to his knees while Lorcan somersaulted off the top, then ran back to nail the blockbuster. The nearfalls felt earned, a lot of things that could seemingly end things, that blockbuster and the fought for half nelson suplex, but also Alexander's cool STO on the ring apron with a quick snap Michinoku Driver back in the ring. Lorcan kept working slaps and uppercuts, and I really dug how Alexander would buckle for them, though that also made the actual finish come off a little sudden. Still, I thought they built this whole thing real nicely, one of the 15+ minute 205 matches that I think really worked with the runtime. So many of those long matches just feel too long, but this felt like they were actually working the proper back and forth for the time.

Men's Battle Royal WWE Worlds Collide 4/4 (Aired 5/1/19)

ER: This was a good battle royal that really didn't have much of Gulak, eliminated within the first third. He was a guy worth watching while he was in it, with he and Riddle going at it one of the big highlights of the this. They even cosplay Ken Shamrock/Don Frye on the ring apron, something I've not seen in a battle royal. But then Gulak was eliminated by someone. Maybe Steve Cutler? Possibly Steve Cutler. But there was other fun battle royal stuff. Brian Kendrick never even took off his leather jacket (and yet lasted much longer than I expected for a man my size who didn't bother to get fully into gear), Riddle was the obvious megastar here but was eliminated by unexpected final 4 guy Saurav Gurjar, and Dijakovic looked like a teetering oaf but got punched into extinction. But there was also some trash! After having Gurjar take out Riddle, they had Tyler Bate eliminate him by...picking him up, walking him slowly over to the ropes, and then just tossing him over. Gurjar put up no sort of struggle during any part of this. A man 100 pounds smaller than him just picked him up, walked him across the ring, and tossed him. It was one of the lamer things I have seen in a battle royal. And while I liked parts of the Strong/Bate survivor battle, it went too long, and had FAR too many moments of one guy getting tossed over the ropes, dangling, only to have the other guy just walk away. Bate is just swinging, Strong just slowly walks across the ring. It's like a Kane cage match  I was at live, where he opened the cage door, stepped down to the bottom step, grabbed a chair without stepping one more step for the win, and went back into the cage to use the chair. This was on a show that was just two battle royals, the other with all women. The women's battle royal was better, with nice showings from Bianca Belair and Jessamyn Duke and a far better knowledge of how to build to neat battle royal moments. But this wasn't bad.

Jack Gallagher vs. Humberto Carrillo vs. James Drake vs. Mark Andrews WWE 205 Live 5/14/19

ER: This didn't have enough pairing off, and spent too much time trying to work a 3 way instead of working their natural 2 on 2 hand they had been dealt. And this whole thing was spent mostly showcasing Drake and Andrews at the expense of Gallagher and Carrillo, and that's not what I wanted to see. Gallagher was even the guy kept on the floor, who couldn't get in the ring because of a tough game of King of the Mountain. Seriously, Gallagher was the little kid who kept getting brushed aside, and he should have been running this thing. There was even a moment where he was fighting up top and then just had to sit on the top buckle leaning out of the way, so other people could fight around him. Our boy was made to look like a clown for much of this, and I didn't dig it. Carrillo was really good at making Drake's and Andrews' offense pop, Andrews ate a wicked facebuster into the apron, and all of the flying looked good. By the time Gallagher was actually allowed into the action, he broke out the umbrella senton and hit an awesome falling meteor from the top (like Mr. Fuji's great finisher only insanely off the top rope), Carrillo's twisting moonsault off the top looked great...but then Gallagher dispatched of everyone in cool ways and got to look like the ultimate chump by getting rolled up. They made some odd choices in this one, paired off funny, and really seemed to showcase people in the reverse order that they should be showcased. The action was enjoyable and quick, and that does count for a lot, but I wanted something different from this.

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Matches from WWE Super Show-Down 10/6/18

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

ER: Charlotte's boobs look weirdly inflated, but it's possible that crossing the equator does funny things. Becky is super aggressive in this and it's awesome. She attacks at the bell and kicks at Charlotte's legs, yanks her by the arm from the ring to the floor (great reckless looking tumbling bump from Charlotte) and Becky does a tornado armbar and starts bending at Charlotte's wrist and fingers. Charlotte has a spirited comeback, kneedropping Becky in the back of the leg, hitting a nice high kick, but damn does Charlotte have some of the ugliest chops in wrestling. Her arm looks like a wet noodle, and they look too dismissive. Shame she's probably required to do them. Charlotte hits a nice spear (and Lynch takes a nice spear), and I like the theme of Becky rushing her early and then basically trying to cheat from behind the rest of the way. Charlotte hits knees on a moonsault, and I like Becky cheating to get out of the match with her title. That's probably because I'm sick of Charlotte in the title picture and think she's a horrible babyface. I smiled when Lynch kicked her ass after getting her belt.

Iiconics vs. Asuka/Naomi

ER: I was fully expecting more of a reaction for the Iiconics, but it's clear the crowd either doesn't care about them, or doesn't want to boo Australians, or...look I have no idea what native Australian culture is like. This is short but has some cool stuff in it, Asuka had some nice throws, Naomi did some cool split legged offense and a plancha, Peyton had a ridiculous-but-fun house show only kind of sell off a Naomi kick, stumbling around while Naomi mocked her. WWE has people lose in their home town/country so often that it was weird seeing them win here, not only quickly and cleanly, but over two people who are clearly much higher than them on the hierarchy. Fans respond to the finish, but not much else.

28. Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles

ER: This feud is pretty dumb, completely stupid to involve family in a fed that doesn't allow blood, just makes the babyfaces look like idiots for going out and working for a MOTY instead of just gouging a fucker's eyes out for hitting on his wife. But I was intrigued by the No DQ/No Count Out stipulation of this one. The stips don't enforce themselves much at all for the first half, which is cool, as the stips just encourage them to work stiff with each other. The opening punch exchange was good, AJ throws some kicks with thump, Joe tosses AJ to the floor and AJ takes an awesome bump on his face, then eats a tope and turns so he flies face first into the barricade, and takes a shot into the steps. Joe is heavier, and really feels like he's landing heavy on everything, to the match's benefit: He rushes in with a hard back elbow and blasts AJ with a high speed falling lariat, AJ comes up with a bloody mouth, and Joe brings the Emerald Frosion out of mothballs for the Australian Misawa fans (they call themselves AMFs). All the striking has been good throughout, both guys peppering in shots in between bigger moves, Joe sneaking in headbutts, AJ mixing up height on his, all effective. When weapons and objects do finally get involved they all have cool, more violent, messy results. Styles goes through a chair on a STO slam, AJ hits an out of control fireman's carry through a table, driving Joe awkwardly through the table. There's nice attention to Joe's leg after, and cool moments like AJ kind of stumbling through a calf crusher application, so Joe attempts to turn it into the Kokina Clutch. I don't know if Joe recognized the application was taking longer than normal and went for it, but the reaction came off logical and more interesting than him lying there waiting. Both guys are turning in ramped up versions on signature offense, with AJ aiming to hit a 450 on Joe's leg, and Joe turning a Kokina Clutch into a sleeper suplex, and I love the moment where Joe suckers AJ in by buckling his knee, suckering AJ into a rolling prawn hold that Joe easily flips into a Kokina Clutch. But also like that he played himself and while he was using his own knee as bait, his knee actually was weakened, leading to an AJ calf crusher. I think this was pretty easily the best match of their unceasing feud.

PAS: I have been slacking on WWE this year, so this is the first Joe vs. AJ match I have seen since TNA days, and I thought this was easily as good as their most lauded matches earlier this century. They really laid into each other, and I loved how even stuff that wasn't clean landed with a thud. At one point Styles just lands a jumping forearm right into Joe's sternum, which looked like it sucked to take. Joe busts up Styles mouth, and while it wasn't a crimson mask, it did add a grittiness to the whole procedure. Joe hit a cracking clothesline which Styles took a big bump on, and crunched him with a great looking powerslam. I loved the knee work, Styles looked like he hurled himself through a table just to make Joe land weird, and Joe yelling to the ref that his knee popped was a great moment. The impact was so strange, that I almost bought a real injury, that is how knee injuries happen, landing awkward and weird with all of your weight. We had a weird heel in peril run, with the valiant heel fighting his way through an injury, while the vicious babyface tried to end his career, totally makes sense with all of the stuff about Joe stalking his family. I liked how Joe can still grab a choke from the ground, but was really unable to hit anything that required weight on his knee. Cool finish too, with all of Joe's tricks running out and getting caught in the calf crusher. I thought this was excellent.

Riott Squad vs. Bella Twins/Ronda Rousey

ER: Riott does something maybe no other worker on the roster does well, and it's a very important thing: Her facials are so strong that she actually comes off like she has a personal problem with her opponents. She looks like she wants to hurt them, and she looks pissed off whenever it doesn't work. All of the Riott Squad has their perks, Live throws underrated kicks and plays great at house shows, Logan comes in off a tag with an awesome running knee, Riott comes in with a low kick to Nikki's back, all of them are good at cutting Nikki off from her crew, and I like how Logan crumbles off Nikki's enziguiri, taking a heel right to the side of her head. Rousey is an absolutely undeniably fun hot tag, and of course everyone deserves credit for getting flipped fast on their tailbones, yanked over by the arm, eating her awesome Samoan drop variation, really all of Ronda's judo offense looks great. Morgan was awesome saving Logan from a sure death Rousey armbar, Morgan flying in towards camera with a hard elbow to the back of the head. I wish we had gotten one more save from the Riott Squad, but the Ronda double armbar finish is a really fun finish for this kind of show. This was worked exactly how I wanted to see it worked, with Brie kept mostly on the apron, Ronda on fire, and the Riott Squad getting to control things. So this easily checked all my boxes for what I was hoping for.

Cedric Alexander vs. Buddy Murphy

ER: You know I liked Buddy Murphy before it was cool (is it cool?), thinking he put up a strong showing at the first NXT show I went to. Amusingly, I have seen approximately zero of his 205 Live run. And indies junior Buddy is just not anywhere as interesting as house show stooge Buddy. I saw this getting talked up as one of the sprints of the year, and while it was a cool moment for Murphy, this thing felt like a couple dozen other uninteresting moves exchanges I've seen over the last couple years. Melodramatic faces, big driver variations, a flip dive hit, a flip dive overshot (the overshot tope con giro is of the UTMOST importance in having one of these matches), an empty strike exchange. Their faces can look spirited, but the matches seem so hollow. This is becoming default style now, and it's feeling like one guy fighting slightly off shadow variations of himself to eternity. However, I do like the hometown win.

ER: Well, I guess we'll never - ever - know if HHH/Taker was worthy of being on our 2018 Ongoing MOTY List, but Joe/AJ is an easy add, easily the best match they've had against each other in WWE.

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Brian Kendrick's Ready to Close His Eyes, Now He's Ready to Close His Mind

Brian Kendrick/Tony Nese/Noam Dar vs. Rich Swann/Akira Tozawa/Jack Gallagher (WWE Raw 5/1/17) - VERY GOOD

ER: They could have done more with this, and it eventually felt like everybody was rushing to the finish, but the work within was plenty fun with some nice moments. The commercial break really hurt the flow as they had to spill all the heels to the floor for the "Gallagher's team is rolling!" moment. Post break and things finally settle into a real match, with Kendrick grounding Swann and punching him viciously in the back of the head. Swann and Tozawa hit stereo dives and the camera crew manages to miss both, and we finally get to the Kendick/Gallagher showdown I wanted the whole match. Gallagher levels him with a headbutt from the apron and Nese gets a good save, and I think Kendrick is going to get the win over Gallagher with the bully choke, until Tozawa hits a great shining wizard to knock Kendrick off. I'm a sucker for good saves in a match, they always go a long with with me. Nese continues to slowly improve (I really need to get back to 205 Live...do I? Is it good? I haven't even been checking results...), and while this needed more Kendrick and Gallagher, it was still a solid trios.

Brian Kendrick/Drew Gulak vs. Mustafa Ali/Jack Gallagher (WWE Raw 7/17/17) - FUN

ER: This is a pretty generous "FUN" designation as the match itself is barely over 2 minutes long. But there are no faults with the ringwork, and in fact there are a few nice gem moments, they just occur in an overall meaningless match. I like Gulak's "No Fly Zone" gimmick, dug him screaming in with an elbow to knock Ali off the apron, and everything surrounding his tag in to Kendrick is great, with Gulak taking a flying leap thanks to Gallagher, all the way to the floor, and Kendrick tagging in on his way down. My favorite stuff of the match was the bit of Kendrick preventing Gallagher from getting to Ali, and Gallagher blasts Kendrick with a great KO headbutt. Ali's inverted 450 is an insane spot, the whole time it always seems like he's definitely going to snap his neck on the ropes, quite the high wire act. Still, 140 seconds? Fuck out of here with that.

Brian Kendrick/Jack Gallagher vs. Mustafa Ali/Cedric Alexander (WWE Raw 10/9/17) - FUN

ER: Sheesh, it took them long enough to give us the skinny pants team of Kendrick & Gallagher. That only took 10 months. I think they complement each other nicely as a team as both are really good at selling offense. I especially liked Gallagher selling a Cedric kick, stumbling around in a truly wonderful stumble, to give Cedric enough time to tag in Ali. Kendrick still gives me an awesome Tarek the Great vibe, and I liked his standing crossface punches. Ali is super smooth even if I think some of his stuff hits too light sometimes, and the rolling neckbreaker is a little overly complicated, but I like the kind of sloppiness Kendrick brought to the finish. It made him look like he was to hit Ali with a shoot Sliced Bread.

Brian Kendrick/Jack Gallagher vs. Cedric Alexander/Rich Swann (WWE TLC 10/22/17) - GREAT

ER: Love the Gallagher/Kendrick team. They both lean into dropkicks and bump big, really the perfect opponents for these two. As I type that Kendrick leans chin first into a Cedric dropkick and flies to the floor. Kendrick is a guy who can really put over things we take for granted, like nice chops. Gallagher gets popped by a (nice) Swann punch from the apron, allowing Kendrick to yank Swann off the ropes and onto his face. Gallagher locks on a snug cravate, grabbing onto Swann's braids, and Nigel talks about his fine Burberry duds. Our heels do a fine job of cheating to cut off the ring, which ends when Kendrick charges Swann and takes a huge backdrop bump over the top to the floor. Kendrick not only yanks Cedric out of the ring to save Jack from a pin, but then catches a leaping Swann into a northern lights on the floor. Back in and Kendrick blasts Kendrick with a couple of great looking kicks and locks in the captains hook, which Swann breaks up with a freaking phoenix splash. Kendrick gets caught with a lumbar check and makes it look better than anybody but maybe Gallagher. I would've liked to see the heels get the win here, but we still got a quality tag, and probably Kendrick's best performance of the year.


COMPLETE & ACCURATE BRIAN KENDRICK 2014-PRESENT

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WWE TLC 2017 Live Blog

ER: So I'm going to at least start this one, but may not be able to finish it tonight. We're going to see Zombi and Author & Punisher in Oakland, and likely have to leave before the show has ended. BUT, I'm interested in seeing this thing live, curious if there are any other things they'll have to scramble around due to the meningitis outbreak.

1. Alicia Fox vs. Sasha Banks

ER: This starts pretty slow but I got into it once Fox started a John Tatum routine. Once she begs off, cries because of a fake hair pull, grabs her lip and screams after taking a dropkick to the face, I was in. The Network annoyingly cuts to commercial in the middle of all dark matches, so we miss more of her antics. I always like rudo Alicia, but her chinlocks could really use some work. She was really loosely holding Sasha two different times. Sasha is outbumping Alicia here, which I wasn't expecting, taking a nice spill off the top to the apron to the floor, and getting dumped by a powerslam to the floor. Fox takes headscissors better than most, long limbs flying everywhere, and I like each of their face kicks. Match fell short of what I think they are capable of. I think Sasha as a babyface works a little too similarly to Alicia Fox, so they might not be the best opponent for each other.

2. Emma vs. Asuka

ER: This starts right, with Emma mocking Asuka's entrance and Asuka violently taking her down and grabbing an arm and a leg at the same time. Emma does a good job vocally working heel and throwing out things that can be reversed by Asuka, though she does lean out of the first hip attack. Asuka is making all of Emma's stuff look good, bumping big to the floor and really face smashing the mat on a curb stomp. But really Emma hasn't been a threat to many people on the roster, she shouldn't be getting offense. The tree of woe work is nasty, and the low crossbody in the corner looked great, but at this point Emma has taken more of the match and it's just a weird WWE thing. Why bring in these dominant people with huge buzz and make them work like mid 80s Brad Armstrong. "Asuka may barely make it to a time limit draw with Jimmy Garvin!" But Asuka's comeback is awesome as she just starts stomping and kicking at assorted Emma limbs and hitting a big missile dropkick. Emma lands a sick elbow to the cerebellum and this match is good in a vacuum, but I don't know if it's the match they should be having. Asuka's ankle lock looks better than the ankle lock of anybody else on this card, and the trap leg German looked boss. As Asuka goes to bring Emma back in the ring, Emma throws her to the floor by her hair and Asuka takes a nice thudding bump. This is literally the biggest showcase match Emma has ever had on the main brand. I can't think of another match where she got this much control. But back in a head kick leads to the choke and win. Asuka looked really great, obviously has a killer look, and I think she'll be fine. They had a competitive match, but it would have been far worse if they just had a bad match. But this was good.

ER: Jason Jordan robs us of an Elias concert, wasting a bunch of fine looking farm fresh produce on him. Wasting fresh produce isn't going to get you over in my book, bub. Corey Graves actually says "We're in Minneapolis, couldn't we have gotten a Semisonic reunion concert instead of Elias?" Is that the Minneapolis band you miss the most? Drop a Lifter Puller or Babes in Toyland reference why don't you. Graves should at minimum like the Replacements, right? Shoot, Bob Mould actually wrote pro wrestling TV. But Semisonic is what we go with?

3. Brian Kendrick/Jack Gallagher vs. Cedric Alexander/Rich Swann

ER: Love the Gallagher/Kendrick team. They both lean into dropkicks and bump big, really the perfect opponents for these two. As I type that Kendrick leans chin first into a Cedric dropkick and flies to the floor. Kendrick is a guy who can really put over things we take for granted, like nice chops. Gallagher gets popped by a (nice) Swann punch from the apron, allowing Kendrick to yank Swann off the ropes and onto his face. Gallagher locks on a snug cravate, grabbing onto Swann's braids, and Nigel talks about his fine Burberry duds. Our heels do a fine job of cheating to cut off the ring, which ends when Kendrick charges Swann and takes a huge backdrop bump over the top to the floor. Kendrick not only yanks Cedric out of the ring to save Jack from a pin, but then catches a leaping Swann into a northern lights on the floor. Back in and Kendrick blasts Kendrick with a couple of great looking kicks and locks in the captains hook, which Swann breaks up with a freaking phoenix splash. Kendrick gets caught with a lumbar check and makes it look better than anybody but maybe Gallagher. I would've liked to see the heels get the win here, but we still got a quality tag, and probably Kendrick's best performance of the year.

4. Mickie James vs. Alexa Bliss

ER: Alexa starts taking apart the arm in cool ways, and that makes this pretty interesting from the bell. She drops a knee on the arm, stands on it while attacking her other arm, whips her arm into the mat from standing position, just being a real jerk. Slap fights are pretty played out in modern wrestling, but I really liked theirs. Even the quick jump direction finally told the cameras to stop cutting on impact once they saw the gals were really slapping. The double KO doesn't totally work as Mickie's kick looked great but Alexa's tornado elbow clearly fell short. But they get up and commence the fight, and this is starting to feel like a street fight (which is a good thing). I'm not sure why the fans are chanting for tables, but I liked how gritty it started to feel. It really felt like James wanted to win that title to set the title reigns record, and Bliss was game to take it to her. Finish looked really good with Bliss faking injury, yanking James by the worked over arm into the buckles, and hitting a sharp DDT. Nothing blowaway on the show so far, but everything has been quality.

ER: Elias sings again and Jordan throws more expensive produce at him wastefully. Quality chard or kale isn't cheap man. Kids are hungry out there. Graves saves himself by making a decent joke about "couldn't we have found a Replacements cover band or something?"

5. Enzo Amore vs. Kalisto

ER: I still don't totally get Enzo, and the match is weird as his mic work is always babyface (one of those grating awful promos that some people somehow like) but he clearly works the match heel which seems to have confused the crowd (which has been really active up until this match). Kalisto takes a nice face first bump into the buckles and Enzo locks on a resthold that is not the worst we've seen on the card. I liked Enzo grabbing the ring skirt to slow down Kalisto dragging him back into the ring, and Enzo's cheap shot and pin were good. Enzo - for all his faults - always is really good on pinfalls. This pin looked like it would have been genuinely difficult for anyone to kick out of, really pinning Kalisto's knee to his own shoulder.

6. AJ Styles vs. Finn Balor

ER: Boy, things don't get a lot dumber than the black face demon. Few things in wrestling have confused me more in their popularity than this persona. Styles is two weeks removed from basically a miracle match, so we'll see how this goes. Styles lays it in nicely on kicks to the chest, hard elbows to the chin and shoulderblocks, really plants him with a backbreaker, really makes his moves count. Finn throws punches past his head, weak kicks to the stomach, you'd think a demon would be a little more ferocious. His flip dive is fine, but even then AJ set it up by bumping big to the floor and then fully catching the dive. Back in he hits a slingblade that barely grazes Styles, and I'm just overall confused by his character. Styles locks on the always cool calf crusher, and I liked Balor slamming AJ's head into the mat a bunch to break it. Styles bumps as if he were taking offense from Samoa Joe, flying off the apron after a blocked springboard, flinging himself wildly into the barrier after a so-so running dropkick. Styles picks him up in a double leg and takes a suicide mission sending both of them sprawling over the announce table in rough fashion. Balor hits a kind of flimsy lifting DDT, and I only know it's supposed to be a big deal because Cole acts like it's something that could end the match. Most of Balor's offense looks so piddly, with Styles have to way overcompensate by dumping himself on his head for a weak as hell falling lariat and then flying into the buckles off another so-so dropkick. At least Balor completely STICKS the double stomp finish. I mean he stuck that landing in a gross way. Styles should have went full on Invader III on that double stomp. Balor would have been made into a megastar and Styles would have looked determined as hell when he came back.

7. Elias vs. Jason Jordan

ER: This "Kurt Angle's son" thing really feels like one of those angles that should be dropped and never spoken about again. But as weak as that angle is, and as stupid as throwing chard at someone is, these two have a weirdly compelling match and unexpectedly good chemistry. Elias throws nice chops across the collarbones, locks in a nice side headlock and works some nice neck cranks and crucifix subs, with Jordan breaking free and dumping him with a cool amateur takedown. Jordan will also fling himself wildly into the turnbuckles (on his own shoulderblocks and to put over offense) and yeah this match totally works. Elias cuts low on missed strikes which will always win me over, and Jordan running around the ring slamming Elias into corners looks great, obviously his belly to belly suplexes look great, and I will always love his running shoulderblock to the gut until he has to get neck fusion surgery. Elias makes his thigh slap a bit too obvi, but the kneelift catching Jordan's jaw otherwise looked killer. Elias gets a nasty bodyslam into the bottom rope (a great spot that has mostly vanished) and the weight shift small package off a suplex left enough controversy for the return match. I had no hopes for the match and it was maybe my favorite of the night so far.

8. TLC Match: The Mz/Sheamus/Cesaro/Kane/Braun Strowman vs. Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins/Kurt Angle

ER: I'll give them credit for using the PPV gimmick for only the main event. My memory tells me they've loaded up other cards with various chair or table matches. I don't remember the last Angle match I liked, but I do like him coming out as a fully dressed member of the Shield. I like the Shield overpowering Team Miz to start, and the attack on Braun was especially nasty. Everybody wailing on him with chairs, including a brutal Rollins shot to Braun's freaking chest (seriously, chairshot to the chest? Ouch). I thought the ladder spot would surely backfire, but they both crash through Kane/Braun, with Dean really smooshing Kane. I like how that sets up everybody else against Angle, as I'd rather see Angle actually selling damage for most of a match than doing offense. Sympathetic hobbled old guy is one of my favorite characters in wrestling, much more compelling than "old guys slowly doing their old spots". Angle taking a bunch of chair and ladder shots and THEN throwing Germans the moment their backs are turned, that's more interesting than Angle being treated as a returning guy who is still on par with the current roster. And it's smart to not have him get a whole lot of offense on Braun, rather have Braun crush him and powerslam him through a table. I think him suplexing Braun would have been incredibly dumb (but I guess the match isn't over yet...). The 5 on 2 heel beatdown is a nice one, and the crowd stays nice and hot throughout. Dean gets powerbombed on a table that doesn't break, so it leads to an amusing spot where Braun throws him through it and makes damn sure that it breaks.

OKAY! Zombi were great, but Author & Punisher totally slayed. I'd seen him once before in a tiny venue and it was awesome, but tonight was other level. He's replaced that Wolf Eyes throb in my ear canals. Wolf Eyes' last couple years has been more ambient less noise. I got into them because of that rhythmic throb, and A&P gives that same throb. That dude feels like he'd be playing the night shift at a seedy bar in a modern Eraserhead reboot. It's a pulse raising blend of industrial noise with metal screech and electronic throb.

So now I can go back to watching this 5 on 3 TLC trainwreck. A garbage truck gets involved, Kane turns on Braun (without siding with Shield, which is a nice touch they could have missed) and chokeslams him off the stage and then yanks a cord and drops part of the Chair display onto Braun's (never shown) body. But soon Braun RISES from that rubble (which is a moment I usually like) and he shoves everybody out of the way to go after Kane! And this match is off the rails but in a pretty fun way. Rollins takes an awesome DDT from Miz and the double team emerald flowsion and the both look match finishing but he gets saved! Angle makes his big return after getting mauled earlier by Braun, and it's gleefully stupid as he gets his entrance music! He tosses some guys with Angle Slams. Miz hits the skull crushing finale on Angle, and it's a real stupid looking finisher but they both played it up so damn well that it made for a great nearfall. Angle gets Miz in the ankle lock and Miz eventually kicks him off, with Angle taking a nasty bump onto his head to the apron and then the floor. This match is officially kicking ass. But Ambrose and Rollins corner Miz, and then Angle gets back in and Miz realizes it's 3 on 1. We get some finishers, and then they do the Shield triple powerbomb with Angle as Roman, and it's the first huge nostalgia finishing move moment in ages. This match felt like the best possible result for the competitors involved. I really didn't care when Angle was announced for the match, and thought he could ruin it more than help it, but he was used perfectly. His usage was minimal, but present in all the right spots, and he executed the role perfectly. The match felt like (what we thought was) high functioning, multiple story ECW main event, and made it work in 2017. Those match totally, unexpectedly delivered for me.

ER: So this was one of those super fun WWE PPVs that don't really seem too exciting on paper, kind of sneak up on you two weeks after another PPV, and then totally overdelivers. Enzo/Kalisto was the only poor match of the night, and even that had a real good - and correct - finish. This was a good PPV.

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Brian Kendrick is So Messed Up He Wants You Here

Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. The Young Lions (Lucky Kid/Tarkan Aslan) (DWA 4/5/14) - FUN

ER: What a confounding match; one which, while I was watching, had a feeling would completely break Phil. The next day when I told him about it, Phil sure enough proclaimed that he had watched enough professional wrestling in his life, and that he was done. His first act as a human who doesn't watch pro wrestling will be to start watching Ray Donovan, where he can enjoy modern performances by great old guys like James Woods, Stacy Keach, Dabney Coleman, and Elliott Gould, and not have to listen to me tell him about matches that he would hate. Because this was a confounding match. The good was really great. The bad was the exact kind of thing I hate in wrestling. This was in Germany at what appeared to be a tiny hunting lodge. The building was small, and there couldn't have been many people in attendance. The match begins with them playing musical chairs for 5 minutes. WAIT NO KEEP READINGGG!!! All four men played musical chairs, Aqua's Barbie Girl played (and stopped, intermittently, per the rules), and it was actually 5 minutes. Paul London made a lot of really lame gay jokes ("I like girls dude!" as the music stopped and Aslan sat on his lap), and they completed the musical chairs, the match actually started.

And it didn't take too long to get really good. Paul London, especially, was awesome. He matched up with Lucky Kid, who appeared to be basically working like 2007 Brian Kendrick or Paul London, complete with overly baggy vinyl shorts. They both did some shoot shoulderblocks with London challenging to hit him off the ropes as hard as possible, naturally building to London hitting a dropkick. Their mat work was fast and landed hard, especially a great go behind waistlock takedown from London. The clubs to the back looked good, and Kendrick/London were great at cutting off the ring. The musical chairs bit was becoming a distant memory, something I could easily tell people "Just start the video at the 5:00 mark".  And then, out of nowhere, the match reverted to comedy, and stayed that way until the end, 7 minutes later. It's like they had all planned on working a normal match until the got a signal, and once that signal hit, the actual match was over. All four men got into the ring, stood in a circle, and just took turns chopping each other. For 5 minutes. Everybody just chopped the person to their right. For 5 minutes. Then the ref got involved, clotheslined London and Kendrick, everybody involved collapsed into a pile, more gay jokes happened, and then the match ended with a sunset flip. That 7 minutes in the middle was so much fun and was really going to a great place. And then they had to go and make Phil finally quit professional wrestling for good.

Brian Kendrick vs. TJ Perkins (WWE Raw 1/2/17) - SKIPPABLE

ER: Alright, bringing some fresh match-ups into the new year! Been waiting for these two to lock horns for awhile now. Wait AND it's under 3 minutes long?? Yeah you don't need this. Even in a total throwaway match Kendrick drops in a few cool moments, especially his weirdo little leap through the ropes to send TJ recoiling back into the ring. The sliced bread reversal was fine and there was nothing terrible about it, it's just that the whole thing was unnecessary.

Brian Kendrick vs. Cedric Alexander (WWE Raw 1/16/17) - SKIPPABLE

ER: These short TV matches have been some pretty uninspiring stuff, and I'm someone who likes short TV matches. This mostly felt like a Cedric showcase, which is a shame as he wasn't on his A game. He does this ugly split legged moonsault to the floor that looked like he was trying it for the first time on a lark, sloppily crashing knees first into Kendrick's head. That was the worst offender as none of his stuff looked very good. Match picks up when Cedric goes for the lumbar check and Kendrick rakes his eyes and yanks at his nose to drop down into the bully choke and I'm digging it...but then Alicia Fox runs out to continue the confusing and poorly acted love triangle plot, made slightly more bearable as I believe Kendrick calls her "toots". We get one more cool bully choke finish tease, but Cedric hits the lumbar check fairly effortlessly after that. Kendrick takes it really nasty, less spring than other guys but his landing looks more brutal, like parts of his body all landed at different times. Nice Kendrick performance, poor Cedric performance, lame angle continuation.

COMPLETE & ACCURATE MODERN BRIAN KENDRICK

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205 Live 12/6/16

1. Noam Dar vs. Cedric Alexander

ER: Killer little match and probably the best Dar performance we've seen on WWE TV. He was pretty vicious in this one and I'd much rather see this side of Dar than the goof from the CWC who couldn't keep his fingers out of his ears. Here he went after Cedric's arm and stuck to the gameplan, and it made for a pretty exciting 10 minutes. Cedric was real nice with the comebacks, and both guys laid into each other pretty hard with some nasty elbow strikes (although Cedric's booming back elbow wins ALL). We do get a little of sillypants Dar, like when he hid from a tope, but I like the big rolling bump he took on the resulting kick, so call it a draw. I liked the ways Dar would cut Cedric off, with the best being Cedric admiring a mule kick for a bit too long, leading Dar to kick the snot out of him mid handspring. Killer moment. The match had a nice pace and the fans were into it too, and I kept waiting for the eventual Cedric victory as Dar kept being a german shepherd (Scottish shepherd?), just not wanting to let go of that arm. The win was a fun surprise moment, although maybe it will lead to a nice subtly racist angle where Cedric is a black man just too distracted by the ladies to fully concentrate on wrestling. Yay?

PAS: Dar isn't great, but I enjoy him as the poor man's 205 Live version of Terry Rudge, I can imagine he will eventually have a nifty match with Gallagher's rich man's Johnny Saint. His arm work was fun stuff, loved the knuckles into the elbow joint and the hammerfists to set up the Fujiwara. Cedric has really explosive offense, and is at his best when he is put in a match with some structure like this, where he can mix in cool spots. Didn't love the finish, as the whole match was about the arm, and having Dar win with a not great looking jump kick was odd. Still this got me more excited about Dar, who is a guy coming into this match I was completely indifferent to.

2. Ariya Daivari vs. Jack Gallagher

ER: So uhhhh...there are other guys on the rosters...right? I've now seen this match up 3 times in 8 days, and they're just trading wins while only advancing a "Jack's knee is getting progressively more hurt" story. This was probably the most interesting of their three matches, with Daivari going after the knee and posting it, and ripping bandages off is always a good visual. A lot of the knee work was good, especially liked a running pump kick to the back of Jack's knee. Gallagher broke out some cool stuff like a mat escape where he just kept widening Daivari's stance until he could wriggle out. Gallagher has super snug roll ups, his knee selling is really good throughout, and when he hit the headbutt I thought it was over. The Gallagher headbutt should be a Fatality, a total KO no comeback move, so I was bummed to see it not end the match. But this was a nice showing for both guys. Still I think Gallagher should be treated like a brand superstar. Daivari looks a lot better than he's getting credit for though.

PAS: Two rematches from the first show is weird booking, they could have had this same story by just having Jack beat Daivari on RAW and then have Daivari go after the knee. I liked this though, Ariya is pretty basic, but his basic stuff looks good, and the viciousness added something to the usual Gallagher showcase. The natural feud is Daivari v. Mustapha Ali in a Suni v. Shia sectarian battle, maybe an Aleppo death match, but this is a good use of Daivari until they pull the trigger on that.

3. Brian Kendrick vs. Rich Swann

ER: Another day, another high end Kendrick performance. He owned this whole match bell to bell, and then continued owning after the bell. Swann is fine but Kendrick straight ran this game. He's really become a master of body movement and relating it to the match. It's practically become an event whenever he possums a stumble to lure someone into a face kicking, or when he first gets into danger and rolls into the floor and tosses his hair back annoyed. But the guys is just awesome. He always makes it look like he's actively looking for openings and any little advantage he can get. He makes offense look real good, even though Swann's kicks were a bit off, and he's always making new things look good. Every match there's something he does that I don't remember him doing before. Here I really dug his missed knee drop. I've not seen him do a knee drop before, but he committed on the miss and it makes sense in a kayfabe sense, and also just makes a match tighter when the missed shit looks like they were actually trying to connect. All the stuff around the captains hook looked great, Swann hits a cool flipping moonsault off the buckles, Kendrick came up with a quirky roll up to counter Swann's standing 450 (still don't understand why he needs to drag them to the corner to do the 450. It's a standing move, isn't the benefit that he can do it at any time!?), and Kendrick's simple stuff like elbows and straight kicks always look good. They found the best way to integrate TJP into the match, although a brief TJP distraction being the downfall of Kendrick doesn't make Swann look great. We all know this is Kendrick's belt and Swann is just keeping that shit warm anyway.

PAS: Swann had a nice dive in this match, and I enjoy his drool selling but man is Kendrick so clearly the class of this show. That whole Captains Hook section was awesome and it really should have finished the match. I love how Kendrick throws in a nifty use his environment spot in every match, here the chuck of Swann headfirst into the ring post holder looked great, as did his sliced bread off of the barrier. Swann really needs to hit that kick harder if he is going to use it as his finisher though.

ER: I thought Kendrick's performance in the main was so great, one of my favorites of the year. Because of that the match landed on our 2016 Ongoing MOTY List.

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EVOLVE 63 6/11/16

1. Cedric Alexander vs. Fred Yehi

ER: Some good stuff here although with some almost expected cracks. Cedric is not a guy who does a lot of the fast Catch Point stuff, but does his own brand of fast indy work, so the speed gels well but the styles don't always. There were some moments of one guy arriving at his mark slightly ahead of the other. Cedric in his matches - every one of them so far - always finds a way to pleasantly surprise me, and another way to kind of make me curl my lip in mild annoyance. But I love Yehi as the underdog who gives every guy he faces their toughest win. If there is another CWC I have to imagine Yehi is a lock for the final 4. Some of the build to his stomps came off a little silly, and I'd rather he keep the limb stomps to a brutal part of his game. Here he missed several stops that then signaled a stop to the match, while he grinned at Cedric. It came off almost like Kamala slapping his belly. Although now thinking about it, Yehi in a racist savage gimmick with crazed stomps would probably be something that I love. Yehi going for the Koji clutch always leads to wonderful twisty moments, and here it lead to an early bit of fun slippery mat exchanges, and later Cedric using his strength to lift out of the clutch into a backcracker. Both guys land elbows with a thud, all strikes in general looked good, and Yehi matches always seem to end at the right point. Nice start to the evening.

2. Jason Cade & Darby Allin vs. The Bravado Brothers

ER: This probably would have been more effective as an extended squash for the Bravados, but it's nice they gave the local boys some time. Bravados have certainly improved some since their goofy early ROH days, they've beefed up a bit and hit harder, but still have some pacing issues. Cade and Allin looked impressive at times and too light other times. Allin broke out a pretty nice headbutt a couple times, but then had real light dropkicks. Cade's stuff was hit and miss but the hits were fun, most notably his insane leap from the ring apron to a basketball hoop into a rana on Harlem. Evolve filmed it really well, so you could really see that it wasn't just a simple hop from the apron to the hoop, it was a real leap. Awesome spot. Bravados need to stick to more simple elbows and beatdown offense, more ring cut off less feeding cute spots. But still this as a whole wasn't bad.

3. Trevor Lee vs. Matt Riddle

PAS: Really fun Riddle match which was built around him taking big bumps. Lee is at his best when he is super aggressive and he is constantly coming forward in this match. Riddle eats a couple of rail rides really nastily on his ribs and goes really high and lands really hard on a beal throw. Lee also grabs and snaps Riddle's toes which is a really nasty variation of the finger break spot which we are seeing a bunch of. Riddle working from the bottom isn't something he has done a ton of, and it really makes for an interesting contrast to his other stuff. I really loved the nasty stomp which Lee uses to take over on offense, just brutal looking as was his signature double stomp. Finish was great with Lee fighting his way into a Twister in a really cool way. Great match, and a great performance by both guys. Lee is a bit of a conundrum, I have seen some stuff I have loved, and other stuff which left me flat, feels like a guy I need to dig into a bit.

ER: I loved this, might actually be my favorite performance from each guy, which is exciting. There was really only one moment that I disliked, which was Lee having to run all the way across the apron just to get kicked/kneed by Riddle. Seemed a little silly compared to the rest of the stuff they broke out, but my god the rest of the stuff. Riddle was like a spider monkey in there, just pouncing and hanging on to Lee, and Lee was great tossing him around and beating him down. Riddle is an insane bumper (and wearing no shoes makes it even more insane, keep waiting for a toe to get caught or an ankle to roll), just insane. He gets launched practically out of the ring on a beal, takes out half the guardrails in the building in some of the most brutal rail rides I've seen, leans hard into all of Lee's kicks and punches, and is so great at return spots. I love the way Riddle sells, love the way he staggers after being walloped, love his best ever Pele kick, and loved the way he kept feeding into Lee. Both guys looked so great here. I loved that beal throw so much, and when Lee went for another one and Riddle turned it into a  backpack choke? I flipped out. Such a great spot. I actually would have loved the match had it ended right there, thought the ending would have been perfect. But I also love that we got gifted another 5 minutes of awesome.

4. Tracy Williams vs. Timothy Thatcher

ER: This was odd as the ring work was excellent, but the layout and build was lacking and disjointed. It's a tough kind of criticism, where both guys look great doing the stuff they do, and you wonder why you're not quite digging it as much as the work makes you think you should. God that was a mouthful. I just thought the build was sometimes nonexistent and it felt like it went too long. Evolve has manufactured its own brand of overkill by having so many effective 10 minute matches. They've kind of perfected the full story 8-10 minute match in the last year especially. So now two guys going out and having the same match, but for 17 minutes, almost feels ridiculous. We've seen all of these guys be put away by all of the same things, in 10 minutes, but now we're supposed to think they can each take an additional 7 minutes of it? It's a psychology that hinges on flipping a "toughness" switch for "big" matches. Turning it on for a "big" match. But the problem is they treat EVERY match like a big match. They're almost TOO good at bringing up each wrestler's history. So even a non-title match is "an important match, both men are coming off losses and each desperately needs a win to get back into contention". A non-title match with men fighting for relevance is treated as much of a worthy endeavor as a man actually fighting for the title. So since they're ALL big matches you start wondering WHY they're now suddenly able to somehow withstand twice as much punishment.

So I thought both guys looked awesome, especially Thatcher. Thatcher has been a long favorite of mine and broke out huge in 2015. For some reason he feels like almost a back step in 2016. The matches just haven't been there. His work in this one felt like a strong mini-return. Him kicking away at Williams' arm was brutal, his rolling Karelin lifts were amazing, and all the grappling and sub stuff looked killer. I really loved the first 3 minutes of grappling especially. It was a little choppy, a little uneven, lock ups weren't square, it put off a dangerous vibe from the bell. That's the disappointing finality of the match, though. Everything looked great. The order and memory was off, but everything looked great. There was just a lot of it, and the whole match kind of felt lost in itself. It's a very tough match to rank. I could see my opinion shifting on it with every viewing. So it feels polarizing, but still feels good. I think I'm thumbs up...for now.

PAS: I enjoyed this, I admit we are getting a little filled up from this kind of match. I would have freaked out if this match had happened in 2014, but it got a little lost in the shuffle in 2016. I loved Williams in this, he had some very cool counters to counters. Thatcher would try an escape and Williams was really cool at blocking his first attempt. That is a sign of a really nifty mat wrestler. This did feel like it should have been Williams' match, it built to a big win for him, so it was a bit deflating to have Thatcher go over. Still I really dug this.

5. Anthony Nese vs. TJ Perkins vs. Lince Dorado vs. Johnny Gargano vs. Drew Gulak

PAS: This was kind of a mess. All of the faults of four and five ways, lots of cutesy double teams and goofy I hit you so you suplex him spots. Not sure if anyone came out of this looking good. Lince Dorado had some nice dives but outside of that, not sure if there is anything to recommend. Neese qualified for the CWC tournament by winning this, but I didn't want to see more of him. He had some especially bad punches, and his long singles section with TJP was a PWG wankathon at its worst.

ER: I think Phil is being a little harsh on this, even if it wasn't overall that good. For example I only counted one "cutesy double team" spot, and it wasn't until 12 minutes into an 18 minute match (there were 2 if you count Dorado's armdrag/headscissor combo, but that's a pretty common lucha spot). Phil IS right about nobody coming out of this looking very good though. We're used to seeing these guys in actual matches, so it always rings hollow when 4 guys get separately eliminated over 18 minutes. Serious question: Is the "Johnny Wrestling" chant meant to mock Gargano? Is the wink implied? Because it would always start immediately after he would do something really terrible. We know fans chant "you can't wrestle" at Roman Reigns because they're ashamed of their penises, but why do they chant "Johnny Wrestling" after Gargano raises his hand hiiiiiiigh about his head to bring it down into a thigh slap (you've never seen thigh slaps with less misdirection), or after he overshoots and whiffs on a somersault senton? What joke am I not a part of? I thought individual guys looked good in individual moments of this, depending on their dance partner. Dorado doesn't do much for me with his imitation lucha spots, TJP easily gets a bit too vacant in the eyes thinking about what spot to do next in matches like these, Gulak is one of my 3 favorite guys in the world but I actually really dislike him in these multi man matches. I'd just rather see him in a singles. Gargano had a terrible showing. He's not a favorite of mine but he usually looks better than this. And Nese, the man meant to be featured, had some really nice left hands, great chops, great short left forearms, but would get too in the "strike combo" zone where guys would have to stand still while he went through his rehearsed strike dance. 1-2-knee 3-4 legsweep 5-6 soccer kick. The final 6 minutes where Gulak and TJP essentially had to work a handicap match, setting up a Nese offense exhibition? Brutal. The layout of this match blew. But I actually enjoyed most of it up until the EC3 interruption/restart. I thought Gulak worked around Gargano's signature offense nicely, thought TJP came up with some nice offense teases to set up others' offense, thought Nese looked fine until he became the featured "fighting for his dream" worker of the match. But yeah, you've seen all these guys in better stuff - WAY better in some cases - than this.

6. Anything Goes: Ethan Page vs. Drew Galloway

ER: Another Evolve show, another long ass Ethan Page match. And this was okay, even if I thought there were way too many "why'd the girl run upstairs!?" horror movie spots. Page would climb a ladder to get powerbombed off it, he'd climb up stairs to tease getting thrown down them, he'd sprint headlong at Drew to get alleyooped into an Exit sign. There was wandering, but bumps on a gym floor are hard as hell and both guys took their share, so no doubt there was pain involved. We get some pretty rough chair spots, with Galloway taking a Russian leg sweep with one held under his chin, Page getting tossed throw one after a blocked cutter, Drew taking a backdrop across set up chairs, and some fun teases around Galloway piledriving him through a set up chair. So, overall it was good enough. It had moments.

7. Last Man Standing: ECIII vs. Johnny Gargano

ER: This was another one of those Gargano matches that seemed like it may have worked for the live crowd, but didn't interest me a whole lot. EC3 heels it up by going for a bunch of WWE spots, hits an Angle Slam, goes for a Pedigree (even though those are moves also done by indy favorites at one point, so....) and they try to do these weird comedy type spots while also trying to work a violent last man standing match. Gargano makes a Brother Nero joke but then also takes a pretty violent bump through a guardrail. But even the violent stuff didn't add up right. Gargano hits Carter with a bunch of chairshots but not until the ref is down, even though it's a Last Man Standing match and that shouldn't matter. And Carter doesn't ever bother to sell the chairshots anyway, so who knows. We get a series of run ins, a referee hits a stunner, so yeah. This is the way they wanted to work it, the fans seemed into it, nothing for me to see here.

Kind of a low end Evolve show based on all of the ones I've watched, but at the same time one that I didn't walk away bummed out from watching. Riddle/Lee was pretty classic, and nothing was flat out bad, so I overall had a good time. Riddle/Lee ended up landing at #16 on our 2016 MOTY List, linked below.


2016 ONGOING MOTY LIST

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Brian Kendrick With Your Fists So Tight

Brian Kendrick/Drew Gulak/Tony Nese vs. Cedric Alexander/Rich Swann/TJ Perkins (WWE Raw 10/17/16) - FUN

ER: Fun stuff, a real Gulak/Kendrick showcase. Cedric looked good too, but he had Kendrick and Gulak flopping and flying around for him soooo. Kendrick is a real fun ringleader of goons in this, with Nese as his musclehead goon and Gulak as his snake pit goon, letting them do the dirty work while he makes blind tags to capitalize, and every time he's in just sees him getting bumped in big ways. Gulak's fast sequences with Cedric were good, and loved him eating that slingshot kick from TJ on the floor. Kendrick was an awesome focused Teddy Hart here, bumping early to the floor and selling a knee, cutting the ring off on Cedric only to take a big backdrop, vulturing that Nese 450 with his choke; the match was put on in the ultimate dead zone, after a 1 minute tag match but before the big Goldberg appearance, and they somehow manage to get some good crowd reactions. Crowd popped for Swann's nice headscissors and reacted to some characters they really haven't been given tons of reasons to react to. That feels like a win.

Brian Kendrick vs. Rich Swann (WWE Raw 10/24/16) - REALLY GOOD

ER: This was a fun episode of Raw in terms of hot Worldwide matches. We got a 3 minute Bo Dallas/Curtis Axel match which was could have been a total throwaway but they went out and beat the hell out of each other, throwing lariats to backs of heads, throwing big knees, finding cool reversals of those knees; we got a fun 3 minute Golden Truth/Shining Stars match; and then we get this cool match with Swann working like gangbusters and Kendrick scrambling the whole time to keep up. Swann works crazy fast here and their sequences threaten to fly off the rails at any point but never do. They do tons of complicated stuff and it all looks good. Swann blasts him with some dropkicks, Kendrick armdrags him into the ropes while Swann holds on and flips through, Kendrick repays him by holding onto a different armdrag that sees him fly to the floor and snap Swann over the bottom rope. Kendrick throws big elbows, Swann throws a great mule kick, and I kinda like Swann going over clean. People can cry parity, but Kendrick going over TJ and Swann going over Kendrick right before the former's title match feels more territorial to me, in the way territories would set up immediate challengers. I think it makes a lot of sense within the division, and I'm cool as long as little matches like this keep happening.

Brian Kendrick vs. TJ Perkins (WWE Raw 10/31/16) - SKIPPABLE

ER: Not much to this, mostly angle. It does get a couple of minutes, dominated by Perkins. I like how Kendrick takes dropkicks to the back, he does an amusing comic jump onto his stomach. Perkins did his crazy top rope rana to the floor and both guys spilled out pretty dangerously. I expected some kind of shenanigans finish going into this one, and Kendrick holding onto his title while in the fetal position was amusing, but these two have crossed paths a few times now, no need to make this match the one you seek out.


COMPLETE & ACCURATE BRIAN KENDRICK

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WWE Hell in a Cell 2016 Not Live Blog

1. Sin Cara, Lince Dorado & Cedric Alexander vs. Tony Nese, Drew Gulak & Ariya Daivari

ER: This match left me pretty hollow, really didn't think a lot of the guys in this looked good. Gulak looked the best, loved his subs working over Lince. Him locking the deathlock, fighting with him over his arms, all that looked great. The match started getting good right after the big dive train. The dives happened and back in the ring Gulak grabbed a dragon sleeper real smooth on Cedric. There was a great fight spot over it, with Nese holding Cara's foot on the floor, and Lince coming out of nowhere with the save. We get some fun moves trading, Nese looked stumbly, and the lumbar check somehow always ends up looking good. It seems preposterous, but man does it look painful.

I had that New Day Q&A segment on in the background while I typed up that Cruiser match, and my goodness that was bad. They just yelled the whole time.

2. Rusev vs. Roman Reigns

ER: So they went really long with this one. Probably too long. And it really could have used blood. But overall it was good. It started to get real good when Reigns missed his sliding kick on the apron and Rusev hit a lariat. Once weapons got in their I really suckered in. Rusev bashing Reigns in the ropes with the kendo stick was great, although after he broke it over his knee I started rooting for him to stab him with the stick, Abby style. Things would have gotten so damn real with a kendo stick stabbing. I thought Rusev was on point the entire match. His punches looked way better than Roman's (except for the first time Roman caught him with the chain, then Roman was throwing bombs), and all of his kicks looked great. Roman ran forehead and nose first into one of those, and I thought for sure he was gonna get up with a black eye. The chain spots looked good and that sub with the chain through Roman's mouth was great. So yeah, plenty of great stuff in this one, but they were also given an insane amount of time to do the great stuff. Overall win.

3. Bayley vs. Dana Brooke

ER: Eh this was okay. I actually liked Brooke more than Bayley in this one, which was not something I expected. Dana's the one that got me into it, the moment she kick Bayley's arm in the ropes. All the arm work was really good, her lariat looked really good, and suddenly I liked small powerhouse Dana Brooke. Bayley firing back with her one good arm was nice, but the end felt too sudden and convenient.

4. Enzo & Big Cass vs. Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson

ER: Surprising result, but this was pretty bleh. One of Anderson's better WWE performances, though, so that leaves me mixed. Enzo and Cass just are not good. Cass' big boot usually looks good. But even Test had a bit more going for him than his good big boot. Gallows superkicking Enzo was satisfying, and I did like Enzo's crossbody earlier, but this was flat for me.

5. Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins

ER: This was actually my favorite match with these guys. It also got tons of time, but I think that actually made it feel more epic in scope. I think this was the tightest that Rollins has looked in WWE. The strike segments weren't "hold my hair and swing in a phone booth" things that Owens has been spamming, it was just an old fashioned punch exchange. And Rollins looked good in it, really throwing them at all angles. Owens worked in some cool stuff like flying hard into cannonballs (including a brutal one into the cell) and then later splatting Rollins with a couple nasty sentons. One of them hit while Rollins was on all fours, and damn that just hurts my wrists and elbows thinking about it. Rollins muscling up Owens with a powerbomb was nuts, and even though the tables were set up for it, I still didn't think anybody was going through that table structure. But hot damn did Owens get powerbombed through it. Nuts. Owens' chairshots were among the most violent I've ever seen, he really looked like he was laying Rollins out. They weren't landing flush, Rollins was catching some edge, they were thrown to his ribs and arm and stomach, really nasty shots. So yeah, this match felt appropriately violent to justify the time given. Much better than I hoped.

6. TJ Perkins vs. Brian Kendrick

ER: A good match but I think they have better in them. I do love that they're working long real time injury spots into matches thanks to Kendrick. It feels like if Chris Hamrick were suddenly a guy they cared about. But Kendrick does a great long convincing knee injury, always knowing it would end with him jumping TJ. I still wasn't actually expecting the Kendrick win, even though I love it. They've kinda treated TJ like a wet noodle since this whole cruisers on Raw thing happened. Some fan in the front row manages to insult both men in one breath with a "Get a fucking haircut hippie. Nike sucks!" One man, raging against the system. I love how dangerous they have made the captains hook look, almost always a guaranteed win. But this felt like it needed a bit more build.

7. New Day vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

ER: This felt long and I actually think the match benefitted from the slow spots. I liked Big E and Cesaro selling how damn tired they were. I really liked Cesaro and Sheamus cutting off Woods. They were pretty vicious to him in the corner, with both seeing who could throw a harder uppercut. The rolling senton into Cesaro's double stomp. That's finisher level nasty. Cesaro catching Woods' running leg and turning it into a sharpshooter was slick and vicious as all hell. I really wanted it to be the finish. In a way it was, but they get cute and DQ Kofi for interference. But this was a real good Sheamus/Cesaro performance, and a nice New Day showing. The ending was kinda annoying, but match was solid.

8. Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks

ER: Well hot damn I loved this. This felt epic, this had some gravitas. Charlotte jumping her before the bell was awesome, and both of them beat the hell out of each other around ringside. Sasha showed real fire when prepping the table, and you knew something bad was happening. But I somehow didn't guess powerbomb. Sasha got planted with that powerbomb, sprawled across the collapsing table fantastically. I loved the lonnnnnnng stretcher set up. It was taking forever, but I loved it. Every minute that went by made it look like Sasha had more and more of a chance to recover. That powerbomb was nasty but juuuuuust maybe...so when she gets off the stretcher and slaps the hell out of an EMT, I was way into it. And they had a real assbeating fight. Sasha flew into her with knees, Charlotte landed kicks, they laced right into each other. There was a certain sloppiness that actually added to the gritty fight feel, totally made the match. I had no idea who would win, no clue where it would go, was constantly waiting for a swerve of some kind. But the table coming in, Sasha getting tossed all over it, ragdolling into and off of it, felt like a really violent human breaking move. The whole match felt like a big deal (which is annoying to type after how much I know they're going to pat themselves on the back because HISTORY), and they shocked the hell out of me. I thought they would work stupid to justify their spot in the main event, but I thought they were smart in this - even with a couple crazy spots. Awesome match.

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Brian Kendrick is So Hot and Low

Brian Kendrick vs. Cedric Alexander vs. Gran Metalik vs. Rich Swann WWE Raw 9/19/16 - FUN


The Cruiserweight Era (hahahahahahahaha) began on Raw with a fun, if cluttered and somewhat disjointed multiman mess. WWE gave them upwards of 13 minutes - yes it was during the dead zone of Raw time, right before the main, but 13 minutes nonetheless. It had the problem of many multimans, with Kendrick and Metalik disappearing for a long period of time seemingly selling, until convenient for both to return. But it also had Michael Cole casually mentioning Tracy Smothers, as a guy who should just be familiar to a current WWE audience. So that was pretty great. "Oh you know, Kendrick was trained by Shawn Michaels, William Regal...Tracy Smothres..." Yeah, those guys! Each guy did some things I liked in this, and Kendrick was the clear standout for me with all the little ways he controlled the pacing. His lean scrappy opportunist bit works better in singles matches where he can focus his wiles on one specific man's strengths and weaknesses, instead of worrying about getting into position to take a couple different pieces of offense from a couple different people, but Kendrick will always benefit a match like this because he makes offense look great. Watch him run so hard into a Cedric uppercut that it almost looked like it did more harm to Cedric's arm than Kendrick's face. Cedric even shook out the arm in disbelief afterwards. Kendrick also took a wild hip first bump to the floor, keeping him out until it was time for him to get in on the Metalik gorgeous flip dive catch. Also loved him trapping Swann in the steps to set up a kick. Didn't much care for the Swann/Cedric strike exchange in the middle, but still am a big fan of the Swann hook kick, and Cedric doing his big faceplant with his butt in the air, and Metalik bouncing like 5 feet in the air after taking the lumbar check. This was a fun showcase for our cruisers, and I was kinda surprised Kendrick got the win with the (urggghhhhh) "Captain's Hook", but the match felt oddly rushed (even though it got tons of time) and it was weird not having TJP actually there, since the match was for a title shot against him.




COMPLETE AND ACCURATE BRIAN KENDRICK

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WWE Cruiserweight Classic: Dark Matches

Oney Lorcan v. Cedric Alexander

PAS: Orney Locan is the ex Biff Busick, it is a pretty oddball name, but Biff Busick is also a pretty terrible name, it sounds more like a NXT create a name then the name that got created. After loving the Ibushi match, I am back to being unimpressed with Alexander. All of his stuff looks good, but he is more Tony Neeseish then an actual great wrestler. Lorcan was a nasty fucker in this, his leaping headbutt was awesome as was all of his different uppercuts, would have liked to see him break out some grappling, but he was great as a guy hitting hard. Worth watching just for him.

ER: Biff Busick at least sounds like the name of a human man. I personally have never known a person named Biff, but I have known two different men named Butch. But Oney Lorcan sounds so alien that you assume that it's an anagram or spells something foul backwards or rhymes with a dirty expression (Boney Porkin'?). But whatever, he's still awesome. His chops sound like they are getting the Lucha Undergound sound sweetening, he tosses out a bunch of uppercut variations that could look silly but instead look brutal, and then tosses out THAT headbutt. Cedric really does come off as "athletic guy doing athletic things" too often, but he also knows how to deliver some cracking strikes, and Lorcan takes some nasty stuff from him like that big suplex into the buckles. I thought most of this was super fun, and only kind of highlighted the additional awesome matches that could have happened if Lorcan had been in the CWC instead of a couple of the duds. Oh, and "It's hard not to get excited with action like this!" wins Daniel Bryan the award for "Vaguest Soundbite That Comes Up 4 Times Per Match While Playing Smackdown vs. Raw". You know you can picture Michael Cole saying it after you just did a snapmare as Trish Stratus.

Drew Gulak/Tony Nese v. Kenneth Johnson/Lince Dorado

PAS: Perfectly fun little tag match. Johnson is pretty green, but does have a nice underdog charisma, and plays nicely off of Gulak as jersey dirtbag Fuchi. Gulak is a beast, I loved his  JYD headbutt to break up a pin, Gulak is pretty much always worth watching no matter what he does. Neese is still kind of a lame-o, but he and Gulak had some fun double teams and I could see them as a nice team. If they end up doing something with Crusierweight tag wrestling I could dig this tag team.

ER: With the color scheme and makeshift team setting this had a feel of an early 2000s Velocity match, which gave it an almost inherent likability, even though I don't really like three guys in this match. Gulak is a favorite of mine, but Nese is more of an RVD without the dangerous bumps. Dorado has some of my least favorite offense, and Johnson just isn't very good. BUT, despite his badness Phil is right that there's some kind of charisma there, something to like. He may have done one of the worst double leg takedowns I've ever seen, but I oddly likely Johnson throughout this. Nese could only improve by working with Gulak, and I did love the two of them cornering poor Kenneth. Gulak locking on that nasty lucha sub was a highlight, as was Nese doing the one arm powerbomb to the floor, onto Dorado. Also liked how Gulak literally brushed off Dorado's strikes, because, yeah, those strikes looked brush-offable. Nese continues his streak of almost 450ing his face into the mat. This was just one of those odd matches that I didn't really think was good, but enjoyed watching it for the duration. It's not so much that I'm a complicated person; burdensome would be perhaps more appropriate.

Ariya Daivari/Sean Maluta v. The Bollywood Boyz

ER: I was prepared to dislike this one, but by the end it pretty easily won me over. That seems more like a testament to a simply worked traditional tag formula, but it won me over nonetheless. Bollywood Boyz definitely play better as a team than as singles, and Daivari is now seeming like the best guy in the tournament that got the most silent reaction. I started out groaning as I don't really care for the whole Bollywood dancing routine. It feels like actual guys from India doing an Indian minstrel show. But that died down as the match went on, and as they started working like an Indian Fantistics I got into it. Daivari bumped all over for them which helped them out a bit, as he made a double team battering ram in the corner look great and later flew recklessly and painfully to the floor. The Bollywood Boyz tandem offense kind of makes up for the looseness of some of it, although Gurv (?) throws a nice elbowdrop and had a fine hot tag. Plus, they're all tasseled out which is bonus gravy. Maluta didn't look great, seemed really lost at how to get into position for double teams, and capped it by throwing a really bad and awkward dropkick off the middle. Still, fine formula tag which showed the Boyz as a team wouldn't look out of place on the roster, and that Daivari is certainly the better Daivari.

PAS: Daivari did look great here, bumping around, being kind of a contemptuous dick to the Bollywood Boyz shtick. He felt like a guy who should stick around, maybe team him with Prince Mustafa Ali in a Saudi prince who comes to college and uses coke and BMW's to bang sorority girls gimmick. Bollywood Boyz clearly have a ton of experience working basic tag matches, and know when to work a hot tag, when to get heat etc., it felt very professional without really inspiring me.


COMPLETE GUIDE TO THE CWC

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