Found Footage Friday: GALLI~!

GALLI 1/11/09 Full Show 

Calypso vs. D-Ray

MD: The ref (animated, sunglasses, shorts) here came off as a bigger star than either of these guys unfortunately. I couldn't tell if he or D-Ray(?) was coming out to the NWO theme. Calypso had an ok act on the way out running around the ring and at times he'd grunt and scurry about, but most of the time he turned it off. D-Ray had that solid Pat Rose physique, was vocal throughout with the fans and ref and his opponent in a good way and controlled the match. At one point he had a pumphandle power slam (Wrath's meltdown) with a slightly different entry position that was kind of neat. Calypso won in less than five minutes with a small package driver (maybe wasn't supposed to be a driver?) out of nowhere. This makes me wonder just how many matches are going to be on this card.

Chilango vs. Emperador Azteca

MD: Chilango here had a tee-shirt and bandana. He did the most heelish thing possible on an indy show; he interrupted the calling out of the sponsers. After that he ran down the fans. The guy in the red mask came out stop him and they rang the bell and got a ref. Chilango was quite the stooge to start, running about. He took over with a foul and didn't really look back. Just a lot of decent jerk offense. Simple, straightforward stuff that was mean and got over who he was. Mask guy didn't even get a comeback before he won with a Sharpshooter. Not sure about the layouts here so far.

El Potro/Justiciero vs. Simbolo/Silver Dragon

MD: Perfectly fine mechanical work until the end, just with a big "but." They were moving fast and hitting things mostly clean with just a slightly tendency to land a little too close to the ropes on armdrags and what not. Things didn't feel overly cooperative. It was a good mix of advanced and basic. The de facto rudos became more than de facto after ending up on the losing end of one too many exchanges and took over with a handshake > kick. Weirdly, there was no actual comeback, just one of the tecnicos coming in on a hold, breaking it up, and cycling on to the finish which was the only thing in the match that looked way off. Some bizarre layout here. Like reality itself was clipped.

Venganza/Resistencia vs. Elektron/Silueta Dorada

MD: I had the sense we hit the part of the show with more of the GALLI regulars. This still didn't have quite the comeback I would have wanted as Elektron just stormed into the ring while Dorada was hung up and there was a bit too much stumbling all around, but in general, it fit into the pattern better and they were working both each other and the crowd in a more concerted way, while still hitting a lot of their exchanges cleanly and crisply. Dorada and Resistencia worked together best overall. They started it and it felt like a living, breathing match instead of guys trying to figure it all out and glue together their spots. So not perfect but on the right track at least.

Centella de Oro/Meteoro I vs. El Guerrillero/Pentagono del Infierno

MD: I feel like over the last few matches, it's been like the meme of the horse drawing where more and more of it is filled in and made complete. Pentagono had a second who was a kid in a mask and I wonder if he has 13 year of experience wrestling by now. There was just more connective tissue between each move, even more working the crowd, everything seeming more alive. The wrestlers tried to get tecnico/rudo chants going since the fans were likely not super familiar with them. The rudos took over after Centella teased a dive and his back was turned. The dives did come towards the finish. I will say again that the comeback was kind of missing even if everything was a bit more fleshed out but I think at this point it's probably just a victim of this being a 9 or 10 match show which is maybe not how lucha should operate?

Demencia/Payaso Blanco/Payaso Negro vs. Furia Roja/Kamikaze/Nemesis

MD: Another match where they didn't actually have a comeback but instead just went straight to the submission cycling. Very weird. The opening exchanges and action was good but needed way more Payaso comedy. That was the best part. We've already seen a bunch of things hit clean. That's what would have made this one stand out. They did have a lot of fun tandem moves when the heat started, including this nice double torture rack. This had a solid enough beatdown that you could have gotten a solid comeback out of it. Pressure was ramped up. My guess is that both the comebacks and the comedy are waiting for later matches? The fans were getting their money's worth spotswise but it's all a bit much by this point.

El Tigre/Samuray del Sol/Slayer vs. Amenaza del Siglo/Mason Conrad/Tony Scarpone

MD: This was a bit of a mess but not an unentertaining one. It never really settled down into any sort of meaningful structure. People hit a bunch of stuff and eventually it ended with Amenaza turning on Conrad and Scarpone since they wanted to use a chair to set up a roll up out of nowhere. In the meantime, Amenaza did a lot of work in trying to base for an out of control Tigre (A for effort, lower score for most other things), Conrad did admirably against Slayer all things considered, and Scarpone postured well against Samuray del Sol but maybe, just maybe, this wasn't the right card for him to be on? He seemed like he'd make a very solid 1987 Crusher opponent on one of those bar shows they ran in the mid-west. 

El Pantera/Incognito/Lince Dorado vs. Cassandro/Charley Manson Jr./Gringo Loco

MD: This was the reward for everyone sitting through the rest of the show and it was quite the reward. To start you had Gringo Loco singing and Cassandro coming out like a head of state, full the sort of methodological grace that only he could encompass, kissing babies, the whole nine yards. The pairings were good in all the falls, Cassandro and Incognito wrestling clean with just a little bit of an exotico bent, Gringo basing for Lince like only he could, Pantera and Manson going tricked out but competitive.

The primera ended with absolute chaos, just a great mass of bodies hitting the mat from every angle before the tecnicos took it. The segunda went into the rudo beatdown as Cassandro hit a cheapshot dropkick out of nowhere. Gringo and Charley had some great tandem stuff like the rolling monkey flip across the ring into a headbutt. Again, not a very clear cut comeback but you almost don't care because it went right into Cassandro and Incognito doing super cool stuff like a small package out of a cazadora and a top rope dragon rana and then right into the dive train. The rest of the show had its moments, but by the end of it, you were absolutely appreciating the competence and brilliance to be found here.

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Matches from Effy's Big Gay Brunch 10/10/20

Manders/Matthew Justice/Mance Warner/Levi Everett vs. O'Shay Edwards/MV Young/Billy Dixon/Joshua Wavra

ER: 8 man tags are a great formula, nearly impossible to mess up. It's a match structure that really only needs a couple of good wrestlers to work, and the rest can just be guys with 1-2 nice spots. The higher the % of good wrestlers, the better the formula works. There are roughly several hundred incredibly fun 15 minute NOAH 6 man and 8 man tags, maybe the peak of the non-lucha multiman style, but it's a match should always work. This one is on the low end, but it's a high floor match type. It had a disappointingly low amount of Manders and O'Shay (with them working a somewhat out of place moment where big Billy Dixon inadvertently knocks O'Shay off the apron and it leads to a minor argument) and Manders just being by far the least featured guy on his team. Seeing the brilliance Manders has produced with Big Twan  Tucker, Manders vs. O'Shay was the showdown I most wanted, and I don't think it happened at all. Outside of O'Shay I was unfamiliar with our babyface team. This match felt oddly built as a MV Young showcase, which is fine, he had some nice kicks, but was also the most "kickpad pro" which isn't something I wanted out of this. Dixon has a nice round shape and hit a cool Thesz press off the top for a good nearfall, and Wavra was someone who had no problem leaning into and getting bent painfully by a Mancer lariat. Justice and Mancer have the kind of charisma you want in a match like this, and Justice especially has that beefy Snake Pliskin thing that just connects. He takes a disgusting vertical suplex over the back of an open folding chair, hits a big man splash to pin Dixon, is part of a big dive train (that also includes a nice fast Levi Everett tope and Wavra tope con hilo), and knows how to fill downtime with brawling. Mancer hits his fakeout tope into several eye pokes, Everett hits a diving headbutt far across the ring, and they kept a strong pace going through 15+ minutes. Pace is maybe the most important part of a match like this, as there should never be downtime in a match with this many people. So while not everything worked and there was some messiness and poor balance of who got the most ring time, the pace meant that this always kept at least a certain level of enjoyability. 

Cassandro vs. Sonny Kiss

PAS:  So awesome to see Cassandro get a showcase match in the US like this. He is really a guy that should have been used by indy promotions for years, but I can only remember this and a IWA-MS Ted Petty spot. Kiss is a guy with impressive individual spots, but a lack of connective tissue, and Cassandro can provide that. Cassandro is 50 now, and you can tell all of the hard falls over the years have taken a bit off his fastball, but he still goes damn hard in this match, doing an awesome flip tope, taking some bumps on the concrete and even winning with a top rope victory roll. Kiss is clearly thrilled to be working a legend and also tries really hard. For a second this felt like this would turn into a nasty brawl, which would have brought it to the next level, but it was a good showcase match for a guy truly deserving of a showcase.

ER: It really is nuts that American indy Cassandro wasn't more of a thing, and I consider myself lucky that he was the top Lucha Va Voom guy (meaning I got to see him work CA a few times). But even old man Cassandro feels like someone who should be getting spots on indy shows (and would be an actual draw to those shows). I like Sonny Kiss but he's a guy who fits great into a trios, less so into a singles. That said, this felt like the most natural pairing on the card. I could have seen him against Still Life, Allie Kat, or Effy, but the most famous exotico of the past 20 years vs. the current most broadly seen exotico felt like something you couldn't pass up running. There were a couple odd moments, like Cassandro hitting a heavy crossbody but then staying down to sell for so long that Kiss just pinned him, but there was a ton to love here. Both are good at taking the others' offense, like Kiss snapping over for Cassandro's still quick armdrags, or the expert way both caught each others' dives. The two dives we got were great, with Cassandro's excellent flip tope sending them into folding chairs my favorite move of the show. But Kiss hits a nice tope that Cassandro totally absorbs, sending them both spilling back toward the entrance. I, too, got excited once they started brawling on the floor, and as Kiss comes after Cassandro on the floor Cassandro just ole's Kiss face first into a chair! I didn't see it coming and it looked like the kind of trick Cassandro could use to send a mugger into the side of a building. We don't get the violent crowd brawl that they hinted at, but the stuff in ring was fun. I loved Cassandro's pageant rope walk armdrag, and Kiss hits this awesome handspring axe kick while Cassandro is laid out over the turnbuckles, just a heel coming down hard right in the breastbone. Cassandro's victory rolls (the normal and avalanche version to finish) looked great, Kiss had this cool splits landing into a sweeping kick (basically all the splits landings Kiss does amaze me every time), and I'm so happy we got this. It was a lot of fun, and it's a match that's been long overdue. 

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE CASSANDRO

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Lucha Worth Watching: Cassandro! CMLL Undercard!

Cassandro/Flyer vs. Magnus/Medico Asesino Jr. FILLM 11/18/18

ER: Man how cool is Cassandro?? Here he is working the coolest lucha arena in the world, the one that looks like it's a Street Fighter II background, and he comes out wearing a spectacular green coat with a long train, which somehow looks elegant while being dragged across the dirty concrete. He's not a guy who shows up a ton on tape, as that is part of the excitement around Cassandro. But he's the exact same guy you remember, here pulling off tight armdrags, a painfully precise missile dropkick, and his signature tope con giro. Asesino came off like a fun rudo stooge, Magnus hits a nice dive into the aisle and Flyer gets to hit two (which makes sense as his name ain't Matwork) including a big asai moonsault. Cassandro commanded the crowd like a conductor at a couple points, really a guy who knows exactly what to do no matter the setting, and while this match didn't set out to be a classic you definitely would have left satisfied had you gone there seeking a fun Cassandro main. Lucha shows are becoming more and more common in the States, and it feels like Cassandro should be able to bring buzz to these shows. There's no reason one of the three lucha feds running Denver isn't running Cassandro/Zumbido matches, but come on people let's make this happen!

Akuma/Espanto Jr./Espiritu Negro vs. Star Jr./Pegasso/Stigma CMLL 4/16/19

ER: This was a real fun undercard match that had a real fine rudo trios team performance and a bunch of great big tecnico moments for Star Jr., in the kind of match that really looked like they were already looking at Star Jr. as a future Soberano Jr. (when Soberano moves up even higher on the card). The crowd reactions for Star Jr. hear were real loud and real organic, felt like a guy who the locals were really treating as a star (he can just drop the Jr. once he's an actual star). The rudo team is a bunch of guys who haven't gotten much ink on Segunda Caida even though they've all been in the biggest lucha fed for like 5 years. Here they really make the case as an interesting team, standing out in ways that I think the Dinamitas started standing out a couple years ago on undercards. They had a bunch of mean double teams (loved a missile dropkick into tandem vertical suplex that poor Stigma took), Akuma hits a sky high flapjack, all three guys bite opponents at one point, and they handled their end of big base bumps. They were a team that made me want to see more of them as a team. Star Jr. had a big exciting match; crowd was flipping out for his headscissors, his big springboard rana to the entrance ramp looked as big as it should have, the crowd went nuts for every time he outsmarted the rudos, just a really fun performance that got a deserving response. Pegasso is a pro in these kinds of "2nd flashiest tecnico in a trios" roles, and Stigma was in there for some big bumps; the whole match has a nice breezy vibe that I think made all 6 look strong.


COMPLETE AND ACCURATE CASSANDRO

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And I Can't Leave the Ground/Can't Find a Place to Put Cassandro Down

Cassandro & Discovery vs. Skayde & X-Fly, 3/26/16 - FUN

This was a tough one to pin down. Because the whole match has guys that are just hard to pin down. X-Fly is the biggest sticking point as he is simultaneously a lazy slug, and a guy who does little things that a lot of luchadors don't do. He's a super tub now and on fancam he looks like 10 years post retirement Chigusa Nagayo. And when he wants to tub around the room, he really tubs around the room. Sometimes he takes forever to do stuff. He'll just go wandering off during a match, literally just slowly walking around the building. He'll grab a table, start to walk back, get tired, have somebody else walk with the table. Some sequences he would do so sluggishly, go so absently through the motions, that he would look like a guy who wanted to sorta kinda get a feel for the ring and do a practice walk through his match before fans filed into the building. Except the fans were in the building and it was the actual match. And then X-Fly would turn around and start a spirited strike exchange, lacing into Cassandro and doing weird little things, like when he smacked him downward across the bridge of his nose, as Moe would do to Curly. And he had moments of getting out right in the middle of the crowd, taking pratfall bumps into them, making in jokes with random fans, really most of the time X-Fly feels like a guy working a Memphis studio match. And then he still manages to hit a tubby swanton and you're like "maybe X-Fly is actually the best..." but then he wanders off to find a table for 4 minutes and you snap back to reality. Skayde was also somewhat lazier than I've seen him. He has a more pronounced belly now, but don't we all. Usually things with Skayde are more fluid, and while things he did still looked good, there were so many moments of standing around, or just walking into position for something. Lazy. Too lazy.

Discovery was a pleasant...ahem...discovery in this one, as he tried gamely to go along with everything and make it work. His two head first rolling bumps into rows of chairs were highlights, but he also tried mixing it up gamely with Skayde and X-Fly, doing some nice armdrag sequences with Skayde in particular. Our man of the hour looked as great as he ever does. Cassandro looks to be in as good a shape as he was in when we saw the most of him, in 2007-2008. He's lean and mean and brings a passion and intensity that the match was otherwise lacking. Him flying recklessly into X-Fly into the corner to unload punches, hitting his gorgeous dive with a flip at the end (which Sasha Banks accidentally stole @ Wrestlemania, only difference is Cassandro does this on purpose), doing a Finlay roll on Skayde onto a table, selling a shock X-Fly smooch; the match needed his person and the fans treated him like a superstar. He and Skayde work some nice armdrags down the stretch, and his missile dropkick still lands with more impact than anybody's. It would have been nice to see X-Fly and Skayde actually show up for a whole match, but I can't ever complain about new Cassandro footage popping up.


COMPLETE & ACCURATE CASSANDRO

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Cassandro Could Show You Everywhere You're Wrong/But He's Never Talking to You Again

Cassandro/Hijo de Pirata Morgan vs. Villano IV/Ray Mendoza Jr. - GREAT

ER: CASSANDRO! is back wrestling after a long layoff, and finally a couple matches of his have started popping back up.

This all starts as Texano Jr./Super Nova  vs. Mendoza/V4, in some sort of show-long mask/hair tag tournament on Mendoza Jr.'s retirement show. Losers advance to the next round and here we are, with both Villanos (Mendoza is the former Villano V but I assume most people reading a specialty column on an obscure lucha star would know that already) beating the hell out of Nova/Texano (posting Nova and hurling chairs, Mendoza dishing some sick punches, and doing more of their classic legdrop/elbow drop double teams). Things really ramp up when V5 accidentally clotheslines V4 over the top (with both spilling out in spectacular ways) before eating great dives from Nova/Texano. V5 goes spilling into chairs and V4 splats on the floor. Back in the ring and V5 is soaking it all in, working over Nova's cut and torn mask with punches, then biting the cut!!! And then spitting out blood!!! But then they lose moments later and....

Cassandro and his partner hit the ring with his partner. This is the finals. Either Pirata loses his mask and Cassandro loses his hair, or Villano IV loses his mask and Mendoza loses his hair. V5 gets worked over pretty nicely by Pirata, bumping around the floor for him and letting Pirata blast him with a chairshot. I woulda liked to see what Cassandro and V4 were doing on the other side, but what we got wasn't bad. Cassandro is limping pretty bad (possibly from an earlier match?) but otherwise looks to be in incredible shape. He starts breaking out awesome JYD falling headbutts that I have NEVER seen him use before, and wouldn't you know that he does them better than anybody I've ever seen attempt them, really whipping his head into V5. His stomps are epic too, but he's always had incredible stomps, where he coils up and really gets full extension on his leg, right to the back of chumps' heads. When the tables turn Cassandro shows that he eats offense better than just about anybody, bumping viciously for a V5 clothesline (really whipped his head back into the mat) and then leaning in chin-first for V4's jabs. V4 hits him in the back of the head with a chair and good lord Cassandro is as insane as ever. He decides he hates his brain and whips his head into the mat again off a brutal V4 powerbomb, and then eats a brick wall clothesline from V5.

It should be noted that Los Villanos are just great here as well and it's incredibly fun seeing them stiff Pirata's son, but Cassandro keeps stealing the show from them (which is what we all expected going in). Cassandro can make a sunset flip look painful. I was hoping we'd get a Cassandro dive and we were not let down with Cassandro plowing through both Villano IV and the first couple rows of chairs.  Cassandro eliminates V4 with a beautiful rana, V5 eliminates Cassandro with a slick sunset flip, and I suddenly don't like Cassandro's hair's odds. Pirata does a couple aesthetically awful moonsaults on V5, but they work since even though sloppy they look painful as all hell, landing knees first on V5.

Cassandro even knows how to sell a haircutting properly, snatching the scissors away and forcefully snipping away while crying. Crowd totally gets behind him at this point and begins chanting his name. Awesome match that goes by in a flash, hopefully more and more Cassandro stuff keeps popping up. Hopefully we get some sort of revanche?

PAS: Very good match, up there with the best stuff anywhere this year. V4 is incredible, he is brilliant as a wild old brawler clearing out a bar. Rey Mendoza Jr. has put on the pounds but he can still move around and brawl. Hijo Del Pirata isn't much and his performance keeps this from being the MOTY. However Cassandro comes limping in and we all remember why we love him, wild, violent and brilliant. I hope that leg injury isn't more serious, because with Finlay, Rey, Lawler and Dick Togo all stepping away last year wrestling needs Cassandro.

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Now Don't Think You're the Only One Who Harbours a Self Hate/Cassandro's Just as Guilty of Selling What His Sweet Soul Creates

It's been awhile, friends.

Cassandro/Blue Demon Jr./LA Park vs. Halloween/Damien 666/Perro Aguayo Jr., (Lucha Expo, 7/24/11) - FUN

This is the first Cassandro match to come to light in ages, so I had to jump on it and throw this thing up. I think this took place at some kind of lucha expo where all the major promotions put on a show. This match was basically divided up into 3 sections: sluggish rudo beatdown, tecnico comeback showcase, and Park turning on his partners. The middle section was awesome fun, the sections that bookended that were not very good.

Entrances were fun, as all the guys acted like tecnicos. Cassandro was wearing an epic waistcoat/robe and mamboing to Gloria Gaynor, Blue Demon Jr. had an insanely ornate headdress, Park strutted to Thriller more than he usually does (he has to be sick of that song at this point), Halloween was dressed up as some sort of toddler Angus Young, wearing ski bib overalls over a cut off dress shirt with a child's necktie.

Rudo beatdown was the most energy-lacking thing I've seen in 2011 lucha. Taking a full minute to set up chairshots, walking while holding a guy's hair, tecnicos just idling in the corner waiting calmly for their turn to get hit. Just through-the-motions stuff. The ref actually shows more fire than Perro here, getting thrown by La Familia and "forced" to do a corner clothesline. Halloween throws the most listless clothesline that I have ever seen in this match. Blue Demon tried to throw himself into a chair interestingly, but it wasn't enough.

And then, as these things can happen in lucha, the tecnicos just suddenly hopped up and made a comeback. Cassandro was just on fire during all this, blasting Halloween into the corner with a dropkick, running down the ramp and dropkicking Perro, giving Damien an Attitude Adjustment on the ramp...then climbing the entrance way scaffolding and doing a massive dive onto everybody. Crazy.

Back in the ring and all three tecnicos get showcase sequences. Demon gets to do a couple fun headscissor spots with Damien and Halloween, and Cassandro gets to try and give everyone smooches (Damien takes it like a man, Halloween dodges it only to do his strut and turn around and catch one on the lips, and Perro fights his as if he were a child fending off his mom trying to give him a spoonful of cold medicine, just hands out, arms flailing, mouth shut tight with his lips tucked). Park comes in and does a bunch of distraction spots. He certainly seems to work harder as a main event rudo in AAA, where he's all stiffness and giant bumps. Here he was almost all schtick. Park is a guy whose schtick I love, but once you've seen main event rudo Park it's hard to go back.

Perro teases hitting Park with a chair, Park begs off...then turns on Cassandro and Demon. Bestia 666 (I think) also runs down to join the beatdown. Perro and Demon yell at each other a bunch on the mic. Last 20 seconds of video are pretty great with an awesome Demon/Perro slugfest, fighting each other down to their knees, and then exchanging low blows and then lying there holding their balls.

Seeing who was involved, this should have been way better, so in that it was disappointing. But once they got in the ring it was a good waste of 15 minutes.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE CASSANDRO

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And I Don't Want to Know if Cassandro's Lonely/Don't Want to Know if He is Less Than Lonely

~Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko vs. Cassandro/Pasion Cristal/Pimpinela Escarlata (AAA, 4/10/08) - VERY GOOD

Boy the Night Queens are just the largest grab bag in all of exotico-based lucha libre. They range from being extremely fun to being the worst wrestlers you have ever seen. And they were completely not horrible at all in this match. Polvo looked really good here and really set up spots nicely, getting into good position. The other at least can eat a rana and do some cool garbage spots.

Cassandro completely owned this one, just running around like mad and hitting all kinds of awesome spots. His springboard huracanrana is a really a thing of beauty, and he had a great somersault tope (along with his always nutso ringpost bump). Pimpi had some great stuff here including an awesome bombs away butt drop off the top, and Pasion Cristal ranged from looking really crummy to really taking some nasty garbage spots. The Night Queens putting his head in a trash can, then missile drop kicking it was pretty great.

This match was really fun, but rather short. That might've been for the best, as too much stuff was going well all at once, we might've been pushing our luck to ask for more.

~Incognito/Mascara Ano Dos Mil Jr. vs. Cassandro/Hijo del Cien Caras (Promociones Wagner, 8/2/08) - SKIPPABLE

This match wasn't really all that bad, it was just filled with more hermanos antics (and not fun rudo antics, more lame finger poke of doom antics). Initially I was super disappointed, as the matchlist I had did not mention that these were the Dinamitas SONS. So I was salivating over the potential for Cien Caras beating down the Juarez Mystico, or Mascara Ano Dos Mil's undoubtedly AWESOME facials when Cassandro tried to kiss him, OR even the brothers going against EACH OTHER!! All sounded like incredible options.

But then the sons came out instead. I don't know if they're the real sons, but I'm assuming they're not. I mean, I hope they're not as they both appear to be in their mid 30s and don't have an ounce of their supposed fathers' talent.

So Cassandro and Incognito match up really nicely and Cassandro was able to work a bunch of cool spots and roll ups with him. It's not even so much that the jr. Dynamite Bros are bad...they're just really uninteresting. They let Cassandro and Incognito hit their spots, then one would just let the other pin him (they're on opposite teams! It's wacky!). Crowd seemed to genuinely want them to fight each other, but they wouldn't. By the 3rd caida they just started working as a team and the match ended when Cassandro and Incognito each got the pin on seemingly their own respective teammates. I really had no complaints about who was the legal man at that point, but was just hoping for a little more creatively. Maybe the brothers could've done some subtle dissension, like when Billy Zabka's teammate Bobby is told to do an illegal move to take Daniel out of the Karate Kid tournament, and he does it but is instantly remorseful. Bobby never understood why they were beating up Daniel so much. It wasn't HIS ex-girlfriend that had the hots for Daniel, it was Johnny's! So they're fucking dressed up like skeletons and beating the shit out of Daniel and Bobby's like "He's had enough Johnny" and fuck man, he probably didn't even WANT to do karate but maybe his parents got a divorce and he was a latchkey kid or something and he just wanted something to do in the afternoons to take his fucking mind off all the serious shit in his life, but then all that serious shit starts becoming JUST AS SERIOUS and he has to forfeit his own fucking place in the tourney all because Billy Zabka wants to square off in the finals against Daniel, at ANY cost. Ralph Macchio was 23 in that movie, by the way. What the fuck, right?

Cassandro looked really good here, but it just wasn't meant to be.

~Cassandro vs. Chuck Taylor (IWA-MS, 9/26/08) - FUN

I think this match is unfairly maligned by the internet fans of Cassandro. Cards on the table, Chuck Taylor is pretty bad most of the time. Sometimes he doesn't look as bad, namely when he's teaming up with the far worse dudes that make up Team F.I.S.T. He's not good, but he ain't anywhere near as bad as Icarus. Yeah, his brand of "wink into the camera" comedy that makes him the Ryan Reynolds of wrestling can get a little old a little fast, but I thought it worked quite nicely against Cassandro, a man who knows how to integrate comedy into and around his awesome wrestling.

Tracey Smothers was on commentary here which is entertaining beyond belief. Some of his asides were just awesome: "He's exotic and everything he is, but uh, he knows his stuff" or "I'm familiar with his stuff, but I've never seen him live". Cassandro IS exotic and everything he is! And the idea of Smothers being familiar with Cassandro's work before this tournament is just fucking rad. Smothers just sitting around watching random AAA dvds and saying, "Man this fucker is exotic and everything". It's a visual I want to have.

The match itself it really awesome when Taylor doesn't wrestle. Every time he tries to do something like a clubbing forearm it's just as ugly as ugly gets. But his comedy works really well here. Cassandro naturally wants his goods, and Taylor is great trying to avoid a mid-match makeout session. Hiding behind the ref, getting through the ropes, it's all fun but you know that kiss is inevitable. His post-kiss sell is really great, as while Cassandro has him in a leg lock he's alternating selling his leg with trying to wipe another man's saliva off his mouth. He also takes the "run face first into Cassandro's ass" corner spot really great. I praise Fit Finlay for always leaning right into punches, forearms, and kicks, and making them look way better than they should at times......so it seems odd to praise Chuck Taylor for leaning into somebody's ass....but damn if Taylor didn't lean right the hell into Cassandro's ass to completely put over that awesome spot.

Cassandro has some troubles with the ultra loose ropes but totally makes up for it by hitting an absolutely insane somersault tope that crashes right through Taylor (nice catch, doofus) and lands him through about 8 chairs. Totally crazy. So yeah, this match had a lot going for it and was totally fun, more than made up for Taylor's usual lousiness and the weird ending.

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Lucha VaVoom 2/12 Main Event

Cassandro/Lil' Chicken v. Hector Garza/Lil' Kissing Bandit


Cassando/Lil Chicken v. Hector Garza/Lil Kissing Bandit
Uploaded by DVDVR_Phil. - More professional, college and classic sports videos.

Videography by EricR

Road Report

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Lucha Va Voom Road Report, 2/12/10

This show was a little bit different than the first show I went to. The first one ran right on time, no intermissions, no delays, and had 5 wrestling matches with a burlesque in between every match. This one started about 30 minutes late, had WAY more burlesque performances (usually 2-3 in a row!), and then had an intermission after just the first match (only 30 minutes into the show). So that was a little disappointing. I am used to wrestling shows starting late, and having pointless intermissions. But this felt worse just because the prior show ran so damn smoothly. Wrestling-Dancing-Wrestling-Dancing-Comedian-Dancing-Wrestling. But this show was just so much more disjointed. Dancing-Dancing-Wrestling-30 min. Intermission-Dancing-Dancing-Wrestling, etc.

The last show was about 45 minutes longer, and that's including the intermission. Intermissions should not come after only 30 minutes of action, I'm sorry. Not when the tickets cost $36. I mean, the dancing is all well and good, but last time it just fit so much better with the wrestling. this time they went wayyyyyy overboard with the VaVoom. The wrestling felt like a back drop to the VaVoom, which was definitely not the case last time.

So we got a lot of VaVoom. Lots of it. Girls and guys. Guys disguised as girls. Girls solo. Guy solo on a pogo stick horse. A lot of almost naked bodies doing things that are often unappealing to the eyes. I like naked women. But there are certain things that just don't look good naked. Naked bending over? Sure! Naked violent shaking? Not nearly as hot. For some reason though, the climax of most burlesque revues (now that I've witnessed approximately 15 different performances, I think it's fairly safe to say that I'm an official "burlesque virtuoso") appears to be violent, epileptic shaking. I love how women's asses look in thongs...but I can now safely say that violent-shaking ass just looks like violently shaken jello. All that sexy sleek smoothness of a woman's bottom.....just VIOLENTLY shaking back and forth with horrible purpose. And I love boobs! But violently shaking boobs is just not something I would wish against boobs. I love still boobs. They look great in person or in photo. But this looked like they were being tortured.

So there was all that. Allllll that.

But you know what? The wrestling was really fucking fun. And in the end, I paid to see me some professional wrestling. So how much can I really complain if the thing I paid for delivered? I'm griping about tumultuous ass shaking and standing around waiting for shit to happen, and I loved the wrestling!! So let's just get to that and I'll remember to edit out all of my ranting about ass movement.


1. Lil' Cholo/Dirty Sanchez vs. El Bombero/El Jimador

Lil' Cholo is a chubby cholo that I've seen a whole mess of times working L.A. area flea markets, and Sanchez is a guy with a belly that somehow regularly makes me laugh with spots built around defecating and pie-facing people with his defecated drawers. Bombero is TJ Perkins and Jimador is an awesome tequila-sponsored tie-in gimmick (still not as cool as AAA worker formerly known as Televisa Deportes or American indie worker "MLB Network's MLB Tonight Correspondent 'Wildman' Mitch Williams") that seemed to be Scorpio Sky. The match was real fun and everybody worked in and around each other very nicely. Bombero is a sexy fireman that every lady wants. There was a fun spot where he threw Cholo into the ropes only to hold out his hand to stop Cholo...then express just how sexy he was to the ladies while the action was stopped. Later on, Cholo did the same spot to him. The crowd ate it up and we all laughed...but it really makes no sense to do the "Stop in the name of love while I be ultra sexy" spot TWICE on the same show that Hector Garza is main eventing. Hector does that spot better than anybody (with pants removal!). I mean there are only three matches on the whole card, can two people go without doing the signature spot of the main eventer? Jimador and Sanchez didn't try and kiss the referee. Still, fun times.

2. Chocolate Caliente/Joey Ryan vs. Los Crazy Chickens

Joey Ryan used gobs of baby oil to get the ladies worked up into a frenzy, and the Crazy Chickens are over like mad. The awesome, throbbing, clucking chicken music that plays throughout their matches is incredibly catchy, and their dancing and butt scooting is just too much fun. Chocolate was the real star in this one though. On the last show he was a big chubby guy who did an awesome tope...but here he was just awesome at everything. Great punches, big spin kick, crazy flying knee, and still with the huge tope. Everybody brawls into the crowd, and the Chickens do a tope from the balcony right next to me. Everybody sprawls, Caliente gets too much of his body on me as he pushes his way back to the ring, and this was really awesome.

3. Cassandro/Lil' Chicken vs. Hector Garza/Mini Kissing Bandit
No idea who Kissing Bandit was, but he was neither here nor there. I came to see Cassandro and Garza and they did not disappoint. Cassandro was wearing his playboy bunny outfit and ws over like crazy with the VaVoom crowd, and when you got more charisma than most wrestlers in the world, you're going to get over crazy no matter where you go. Garza is one of my favorite workers in the world when he is a rudo. I love his rudo schtick. His facials are amongst the best in the business when he's playing coy, or mugging to the crowd after doing something dastardly. There were no old ladies at this show (kinda skews a tad younger) so my dream of a rudo Garza getting into it with front row old lady regulars was dashed, but he was still awesome. I'm a giant fan of the Garza clothing removal spots, as the faces he makes as he's doing the reveal are hilarious. Here he was wearing tear-away pants and a wetsuit top, so you KNEW those were both getting removed.

They went right at it with a few great spots, one of the best being an awesome hurracanrana off the top by Cassandro. The Garza clothing removal spot was given new life by Cassandro's selling, as Cassandro gets thrown into the ropes before being stopped by Garza....then the shirt comes off! Well naturally Cassandro can't help himself and tries to get on Garza's business. Well, he is thwarted, but moments later he is tossed into the ropes, stopped, and then the pants come off! Well Cassandro will just not be restrained this time and pounced all over all over Hector.

The action spills to the floor and there was an awesome dive train sequence right in front of me, and my favorite spot of the match comes when the action makes it back to the ring. You can see the spot coming miles away, and it's just totally even better with all the anticipation. Lil Chicken and Bandit and doing some sequences, and every time Chicken comes anywhere near Garza, he starts creeping a little closer, little closer.....before eventually just nailing Chicken with a kick as he's rope running. The look Garza gives to the crowd after obliterating Chicken was absolutely amazing. When Garza works as a rudo, he really exaggerates all of his thigh slaps, and it makes them all so much greater. One way to go with the thigh slap kick is to disguise it as best as possible, and make it look nice and discreet so the rubes are tricked into thinking you just blasted some dude with a nasty shot. Garza takes it in the complete opposite direction, and shows no discretion whatsoever in doing them. He raises his hand nice and high into the air, and then whips it down right into his thigh, the complete opposite goal of everybody doing a thigh slap. It totally turns the concept on its head and makes it into great, theatrical, dickish comedy. It's so perfect, and just perfectly captures his character.

The match itself was awesome as can be expected. As a little treat I recorded it with my camera for all to see. I asked permission from Cassandro before the match, and he told me that if security tried to stop me, to just tell them the Cassandro gave me permission. So we're gonna try and figure out how to upload that thing for you (I still own three VCRs, so I'm not really very good at this type of thing at all, soo....) so you all get to see how much damn fun it was. It was the first match I ever recorded, and it was interesting recording it from a fan perspective, and I won't say that I'm the Scorcese of bootleg lucha wrestling, but I think it's safe to say that I'm at least the Roland Joffe (post 1992 career) of the pirated lucha handheld community.

This show was another fun time, and they'll be back in May, so if Funemployment isn't kicking my ass at that point, then I imagine I'll do another one of those in a couple months.

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It Reassures Me Just to Know That Cassandro's OK

~Pimpiniela Escarlata/Casanova/Sangre Chicana vs. Cassandro/Zumbido/Antifaz (Arena Coliseo de Monterrey, 1/8/06) - FUN

Cassandro attacks Pimpi to start and it is ON. Pimpi looks insanely awesome here. He looks like the freakiest awkward stage of a 12 yr. old girl's life. He had a bleach blonde bob with a singlet that made him look like a demented aerobics instructor. Cassandro has rad Fabulous Moolah hair here and worked really stiff the entire match. His opening punch to Pimpi looked completely bell-ringing. Once back in the ring he lands a couple of really painful dropkick variations, getting vaulted into the air by his teammates and just nailing dudes in the corner.

Cassandro and Pimpi have been working together for about 16 or 17 years at this point, so it's no real surprise that they know how to run a great sequence together. Nobody's ever surprised when Negro Navarro runs through a decent sequence with Solar, nobody was ever surprised when Gena Rowlands turned in a good performance in a John Cassavetes movie. Some things just go well together and never get old. These two run through different sequences every time I see them work, and they have a hot run here. Cassandro tries to powerbomb Pimpi off a hurraranrana attempt, only to have Pimpi counter with his weight and turn it into a balls-to-the-face seated senton. Cassandro tries his own running flying headscissors and Pimpi just ducks, causing Cassandro to just land hard on his butt, legs out. Then Cassandro charges into the corner and gets tossed head over heels onto the floor. If you haven't noticed, Cassandro can take some massively dangerous bumps to the floor.

Arena Coliseo de Monterrey never has a shortage of juiced up former strippers working as luchadors, and Casanova is exactly that. Cassandro wanted Casanova's business, and did not keep it secret in a hilarious secret. Cassandro kept purposely blowing a "slide through the legs" spot with Casanova, the first time not sliding far enough through and ending up face first in his crotch, the second time trying to slide through Casanova's legs saw his slide come up too short, ending in some rump to groin that Casanova had to pretend he hated. Casanova was torn. The men in the crowd saw his longing, saw the pain through his cut stripper physique. But Casanova is paid because the ladies love him. True love, or your dedicated lady fans? Their love was a lie.

Sangre Chicana can still go, man. He had lost his hair about a week before this, so was just a maniac with a shaved head, just punching and bumping and just generally being a bad ass. Finish comes when poor Pimpi gets punted right in the balls by Zumbido, who just looks like someone who would punt you right in the balls.


~Jesse/Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko vs. Cassandro/El Ángel/Pimpinela Escarlata/Super AAA (AAA, 10/18/07) - SKIPPABLE

God damn you Night Queens. You always have a few good spots in you, but most of the time your matches are a race to see who can get in the worse position possible for the tecnicos' offense.

The Queens are wearing some garish purple get-ups, with Polvo's torn leotard holding tight his round physique, and Nygma's velveteen flared jumpsuit hugging his body in all sorts of unflattering ways. Their fashion just cannot compete with Cassandro and Pimpi's stereo satin white robes (with Cassandro rocking a kicky white top hat to boot!).

The Night Queens don't blow it until the 2nd Caida, as they had some decent moments during the 1st. Polvo hit a nice pudgy senton and Jesse hit a colossal Alabama (Nuevo Leon?) Jam while Pimpi was draped across somebody's knees. Those were good looking spots right there.

And then the rest of the match happened. Night Queens just try and make every base spot as awkward looking as possible. Angel tries a rana from the apron to the floor, and Nygma starts backpedaling as he catches him then just kind holds his crotch to his face, then finally regains his balance enough to do a really poor somersault out of it. Later on he gets into position for a armdrag a good 15 seconds too early. They stumble through some rote sequences and then Night Queens expertly try and screw up the dive train (which is beginning to seem like their specialty). Pimpi had to stop a dive in mid air (he was doing a somersault tope and never let go of the ropes) due to the Queens not looking in the right direction (you know, towards the ring) in the 12/14/07 match, and here they do the same fucking thing!! Except - AWESOMELY - Pimpi at full speed does NOT put on the brakes and just barrels through them coming out totally sideways like Mike Knox's flying crossbody, just obliterating a Queen. Cassandro is smart and opts to stop his dive, as it would have been sure death to rely on one of these clowns to catch him.

The end is really fun as Cassandro misses a moonsault on Polvo, opts to try it again, and Polvo gets up and just clubs him off the top rope, with Cassandro getting dumped back in the ring right on his head...which AAA's expert camera's naturally miss.

There are still more Night Queens match ups left to go. I am frontloading them. At least the 10/26/07 one was awesome. Naturally that was the one I watched first, and when the outlier happens to be the first match you see...God damn you Night Queens.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE CASSANDRO

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Angels Pacing, Gently Placing, Roses 'Round Cassandro's Head

~Cassandro/Billy Boy/Fabi Apache/Mini Abismo Negro vs. Cinthia Moreno/Mascarita Sagrada 2007/Pimpinela Escarlata/Super Fly Lumberjack Match, AAA, 10/7/07) - GREAT

All of the AAA minis act as the lumberjacks here and it is just too much fun. Cassandro controlled the whole match, which I've never seen before. He is usually the guy in the role of stealing a match in AAA, not leading a match. He obviously needs to lead matches more, as he was just incredible here. Also, his outfit was an amazing black glittery Zach Ryder-style one-legged pantsuit with roses on it. So rad.

He really does it all here, playing up a maestro role that I've never seen him do, but still squeezing in great comedy moments. He'd roll through a submission sequence (and I've never seen him do many submissions, but he busts out a cool octopus variation and an awesome indian deathlock pin), but then also steals the show when he would get thrown to the floor and run screaming from all the minis trying to attack him. Just a total tour de force performance.

That is not to say the others weren't impressive here as well, as this is amongst the best Billy Boy performances I've ever seen. He shows a lot of passion and character here, and sometimes he can come off as just soooo bland. He has some real fine moments here, though; my favorite being when Super Fly was going for a pin, Billy Boy casually walks in, stops the ref's arm from counting, then turns around and just kicks Fly right in the stomach. Awesome. Fabi and Moreno are also really good in this. They're just so smooth at working spots in and out of all the craziness, and they match up well with both the male workers, and each other. Great, fun match.

~Cassandro/Intocable/Mascara Divina/Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Jesse/Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko (AAA, 12/14/07) - SKIPPABLE

Wow this was awful. I was looking forward to Cassandro and Pimpi teaming, and those guys were definitely NOT the problem in this match. Spice Boy Intocable is bad, but Mascara Divina is just absolutely awful. Every time he gets the chance to shine he just completely blows it. During the end run dive train he opts for a somersault tope and looks like a total load, holding onto the ropes for too long so instead of landing on anybody he just flips over the ropes, lands on his butt on the apron, not close to anybody, then to cover decides to throw a punch that whiffs by about two feet. It just totally falls apart here. Cassandro tried his damndest to hold the dive train together as while everybody is lying around he's the only one trying to catch most of the time. He catches three of the dives himself while all the other chumps are just lying around. Pimpi bails on his dive half way through as two of the Night Queens are just completely out of position. Just a whole big mess. Cassandro has a fun sequence with Yuriko and I'm consistently amused by Yuriko screaming whenever bailing to the floor. But just too little good to recommend this one.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE CASSANDRO

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Cassandro Was Always By My Side, and Never Tried to Leave

Gran Apache/May Flowers/Pimpinela Escarlata/Polvo de Estrellas vs. Cassandro/Alan/Billy Boy/Decnnis (AAA, 5/20/06) - FUN

Cassandro is wearing his completely awesome Wonder Woman outfit that I have never seen before. One thing about doing this project is that I can be completely amazed time and time again at the many different outfits of Cassandro. So far I have not seen the same outfit twice.

This match is full of dissension, as the Barrio Boys clearly don't agree with Cassandro's lifestyle choices and do not want to be teaming with him. Think about that: The BARRIO BOYS don't agree with Cassandro's lifestyle choices. So that's just not believable. I'm sure the Barrio Boys have made a boatload of bad life decisions. Gran Apache, on the other hand, has no problems whatsoever teaming with his group of exoticos, and is perfectly content to punch all the Barrio Boys right in the face (which I will never complain about).

This was all sorts of fun, as I always like May Flowers but he doesn't turn up too much anymore. Pimpi had a bunch of great moments including climbing the turnbuckle, back to the ring, and when Billy Boy tries to run in and stop him --> ass to the face, with a wiggle to boot! The Barrio Boys end up finally turning on Cassandro after a couple of miscues (that naturally involved some playful kisses), so then you had ALL the Barrio Boys, and ALL the exoticos ALL beating up poor Cassandro. It's just not fair.


La Fiera/Mocho Cota/Pimpinela Escarlata/Sangre Chicana vs. Cassandro/El Brazo/Espectro Jr./Pirata Morgan (AAA, 6/18/06) - VERY GOOD

This was so awesome. Pimpi and Cassandro were the young bucks in this match, and they were both in their late 30s here. Almost everybody else in this match is in their 50s. But I am in the camp who feels that a lot of luchadors need about 30 years of seasoning before they really come into their own. That seems to be how it's gone the last 3 years, at least.

So seriously, motherfucking Mocho Cota, making tape in the 2000s!!! That just doesn't happen that often. I don't think I've seen any other Cota match from the 2000s. Anybody else have a stash of Cota from this decade that they're hoarding? Because he looked quite awesome here. Threw some fine punches, did an AWESOME shoulderblock sequence with Brazo, bouncing off and staggering around, before manning up and just plowing through Brazo. He threw a nice dropkick and did a great tope during the sprint. He looked the same as he did in '96 CMLL, just slightly looser skin.

Sangre Chicana was also a total boss in this as well, with real nice punches and a great tope. Everybody really gets their chance to shine in this. Espectro Jr. threw some nice punches, Brazo got to do a bunch of fun belly bumps and Sangre/Mocho/Fierra all fell awesomely and hilariously into place for Brazo's big splash. Fierra can still bump shockingly well, and Cassandro and Pimpi are themselves, so you know that rules.

Cassandro had awesome hair and looked like Dustin Hoffman as Dorothy in "Tootsie". I would really like to see a lucha match interpretive adaptation of Tootsie. I think Mano Negra would make a great Dabney Coleman. He has more hair, and no mustache, but he makes the same great bug-eyed Dabney Coleman expressions. Brazo already kinda looks like a tan Charles Durning, and it wouldn't be too hard to find a couple of the blonde lady workers with low self-esteem to portray the Jessica Lange and Terri Garr roles. Make this happen, somebody.

The Night Queens run in at the end and it becomes a giant schmozz, with allegiances breaking down. Sangre Chicana wandering around and just punching Night Queens in the face was amusing. The Queens were also all wearing rainbow sashes, just in case you forgot they were, ya know, Queens. Cassandro gets suplexed into the 2nd row and this was all kinda of great fun.


Oriental/Chikayo Nagashima/Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Takashi Sugiura/Fabi Apache/Cassandro (AAA/SEM, 9/3/07) - GREAT

I assumed a lot of the guys would do it up pretty big since they were in Japan and don't tour there too often, and I was correct. This was a real unique mixture of talent in one match, and it worked out to be really awesome.

First off, Pimpi comes out in a full on bridal gown and tosses his bouquet to the crowd. It is amazing. Then Sugiura comes out and Pimpi gets all hot and bothered by his stocky physique and wants a piece of him, which causes Takashi to naturally freak out, lest his lips touch another mans'. I was not sure how Cassandro was going to be able to top it, and his entrance does not....but his amazing glittery Rising Sun singlet COMPLETELY does. This might be my favorite Cassandro singlet.

Fabi and Nagashima match up really nicely, and I haven't regularly watched joshi for most of this decade, but earlier in the decade when I was still checking out joshi with some regularity, she was easily one of my favorites in GAEA. She matched up even better with Cassandro, as they get into a hilarious slap exchange with Cassandro over-emoting to the crowd and the crowd eating it right up. She also takes a nice beating as at one point she's stuck in the corner, and Fabi does a great running kick right to her face, Cassandro does the most painful looking butt bump (aside from maybe Morishima, but Cassandro is literally half his size) right to her head, and Sugiura ends the trifecta with a nasty running elbow.

Cassandro ramps up the crazy for the Japanese crowd, getting an insane amount of distance on his "run full speed towards the corner and wrap myself around the turnbuckle" spot. I see the spot coming every time, but I always enjoy it more and more. So nuts. He also does the absolute fastest deadliest Jerry Estrada bump I've ever seen. Just a full on sprint into a flip right over the ropes. Just sheer madness.

This was like a random NOAH 6 man, and random NOAH 6 mans are one of my favorite style of matches possible. This one just had two really great lady workers and my two favorite exoticos. Well worth going out of your way to see. I wish Cassandro and Pimpi made it to Japan more often.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE CASSANDRO

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Then Cassandro Disintegrates Between a Wall of Clouds

Cassandro/Faby Apache/Mini Abismo Negro/Alfa vs. Pimpinela Escarlata/Cinthia Moreno/Octagoncito/Oriental AAA 7/15/07 - EPIC

I love these matches. Exotico/Lady/Mini/Dude matches always entertain me to no end. Everybody seems to work up a notch and their is always constant action. There always seems to be a game of one-upsmanship going on and this took place at Triplemania, so they were working in front of a pretty large crowd. Pimpi and Cassandro start and Cassandro has a crazy Justin Beiber haircut. He and Pimpi tie up and do a great hair toss sequence where Cassandro's Beiber 'do just comes right off!! Ah, that's right, he lost his hair the night before in a giant cage match that will never ever see the light of day. So Cassandro is totally buzzed under his Bieber wig. His fury and embarrassment over losing his beautiful locks drives him to completely OWN this match, putting on possibly the greatest performance of his I have ever seen. Every time he's in he just does the most insane things known to man. After his initial exchange with Pimp he takes a monstrous bump over the top to the floor at an incredibly fast speed. Later he charges right at Oriental and takes his trademark insane bump off the ring post to the floor. Throw in an out-of-control Asai moonsault and some great miscommunication spots and he was just on fire here.

Cinthia Morena is always really fun and always matches up with smaller guys impressively, and I always love Faby Apache. Mini Abismo Negro bumps all over the place for everybody and Octagoncito does a crazy hurracanrana to the floor. It's all action all the time and there is not one bland moment here.


Cassandro/Pimpinela Escarlata/Super Fly/El Angel vs. Jesse/Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko AAA, 10/26/07 - GREAT

Night Queens are wearing their ridiculous apricot-colored jammies and are all about coming up with new ways to smack the tecnicos with trash cans in this one. They start off by pummeling Super Fly and dumping him butt first in a trashcan, then putting the can up on the apron with him in it, then double baseball slide dropkicking it to the floor with him in it, landing him in all sorts of pain. Pimpi is the next to take the pain of the trash can, as he comes jumping off the ropes and gets clonked in the side of his head while his body goes splaying. We get some fun dive sequences, we get Cassandro and Pimpi doing their stereo sassy ropewalking into a hurracanrana and a flippy armdrag (respectively), followed by them doing an awesome hopscoth double-dutch tandem dance-off ending with a butt bump that makes you jealous that you don't have someone in your life to work on dance routines with you! Yuriko screams hilariously when he is about to take any sort of offense, Jesse wears the most garish pants ever made (some sort of apricot Zubaz pants with apricot plaid patches), and Cassandro KILLS himself at the end going for a dive as trashcans come back into play. Cassandro sets up a huge dive and one of the Queens holds up a trash can at the last second and Cassandro dives INTO the trashcan. He didn't get hit with it, he swooshed right into it and then got stomped while in the damn thing. Cold. Polvo kicks Pimp right in the balls to end it and this was all sorts of awesome.


Cassandro/Pimpinela Escarlata/Billy Boy/Mascara Divina vs. Jesse/Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko AAA, 1/19/08 - SKIPPABLE

Cassandro and Pimpi are wearing their totally awesome black widow spider outfits and Cassandro has the coolest headdress in the history of humans wearing cool headdresses. The match never really gets going. I don't much care for Divina, especially now that he no longer works his "awesome" Televisa Deportes gimmick (which would be the equivalent of a U.S. worker being named ESPN Sportscenter), and Billy Boy doesn't do too much here. Polvo can be kind of a load at times and while there were fun moments, there was also plenty of patented AAA "Show a shot of people in the crowd while clipping". Still, it does have it's moments, but it is rather short and forgettable.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE CASSANDRO

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Complete and Accurate Cassandro

So many many months ago Phil started the Complete & Accurate Fujiwara, wherein he began reviewing and ranking every single Yoshiaki Fujiwara match that has ever been committed to tape...EVER. It was a massive success. Through the DVDVR Other Japan Men's '80s set and Phil's philanthropy, I think it is safe to say that many people now view Fujiwara among the greatest wrestlers of all-time, let alone the 1980s.

Since the Fujiwara compendium has been a continued success, we've spoken about branching out and doing a series of wrestlers. We felt that we should profile a luchador next, and felt that Cassandro would be an ideal candidate for the first luchador to receive the illustrious Segunda Caida Complete & Accurate. Not only is he an elite worker, but he has the right amount of mystique.

He has this mystique because despite having been an active wrestler since 1989, there are only about 30 Cassandro matches that have ever been committed to tape, the bulk of them from his 2006/2007 run with AAA. While he's had a very active career, he also happens to work a lot of cool sounding shows that for whatever reason are not recorded. He's worked for Lucha Va Voom the last 3 years, and those matches haven't seen the light of day. He's worked all over Europe with Santo's fed, and little of the stuff has shown up (and what has shown up has been handheld footage). Don't even bother wondering about his stuff from the late '90s. It doesn't exist.

So I will review and rank all the available Cassandro, and hope that one day a little old lady from Yonkers finds a box in the attic containing a rare Bob Dylan white label test pressing of "Blood on the Tracks"...and underneath that vinyl is a video tape with Cassandro vs. Hijo del Santo wrestling at the Louvre. Someday.

2006

Pimpinela Escarlata/Casanova/Sangre Chicana vs. Cassandro/Zumbido/Antifaz Arena Coliseo de (Monterrey 1/8/06) - FUN
Gran Apache/May Flowers/Pimpinela Escarlata/Polvo de Estrellas vs. Cassandro/Alan/Billy Boy/Decnnis (AAA 5/20/06) - FUN
La Fiera/Mocho Cota/Pimpinela Escarlata/Sangre Chicana vs. Cassandro/El Brazo/Espectro Jr./Pirata Morgan (AAA 6/18/06) - VERY GOOD

2007

Cassandro/Faby Apache/Mini Abismo Negro/Alfa vs. Pimpinela Escarlata/Cinthia Moreno/Octagoncito/Oriental (AAA 7/15/07) - EPIC
Oriental/Chikayo Nagashima/Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Takashi Sugiura/Fabi Apache/Cassandro (AAA/SEM 9/3/07) - GREAT
Cassandro/Billy Boy/Fabi Apache/Mini Abismo Negro vs. Cinthia Moreno/Mascarita Sagrada 2007/Pimpinela Escarlata/Super Fly Lumberjack Match  (AAA 10/7/07) - GREAT
Jesse/Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko vs. Cassandro/El Ángel/Pimpinela Escarlata/Super AAA (AAA 10/18/07) - SKIPPABLE
Cassandro/Pimpinela Escarlata/Super Fly/El Angel vs. Jesse/Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko (AAA 10/26/07) - VERY GOOD
Cassandro/Intocable/Mascara Divina/Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Jesse/Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko (AAA 12/14/07) - SKIPPABLE

2008

Cassandro/Pimpinela Escarlata/Billy Boy/Mascara Divina vs. Jesse/Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko (AAA 1/19/08) - SKIPPABLE
Cassandro/Pimpinela Escarlata/Pasion Cristal vs. Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko (AAA 4/10/08) - VERY GOOD
Cassandro/Hijo de Cien Caras vs. Incognito/Mascara Ano Dos Mil Jr. (Promociones Wagner 8/2/08) - SKIPPABLE
Cassandro vs. Chuck Taylor (IWA-MS 9/26/08) - FUN

2009

Cassandro vs. Villano III (Bull Terrier Match, Lucha VaVoom 10/30/09) - EPIC

2010

Cassandro/Lil' Chicken vs. Hector Garza/Mini Kissing Bandit (Lucha VaVoom 2/12/10) - EPIC

2011

Cassandro/Blue Demon Jr./LA Park vs. Halloween/Damien 666/Perro Aguayo Jr. (PDM 7/24/11) - FUN

2013

Cassandro/Hijo de Pirata Morgan vs. Villano IV/Ray Mendoza Jr. (3/16/13) - GREAT

2016

Cassandro/Discovery vs. X-Fly/Skayde (3/26/16) - FUN

2018

Cassandro/Flyer vs. Magnus/Medico Asesino Jr. (FILLM 11/18/18) - VERY GOOD

2020

Cassandro vs. Sonny Kiss (GCW 10/10/20) - VERY GOOD

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Lucha Va Voom Road Report, 10/30/09

by Eric

My girlfriend Rachel and I had the honor of being special guests of Cassandro on the most recent Lucha Va Voom run through San Francisco. Neither of us had ever been to a LVV show before and we were all kinda nervous that it wouldn't be that good. I was going in thinking "This stuff is wrestling performed for people who weren't wrestling fans." Would it be dumbed down? Would it be all unfunny comedy? Would the crowd be more interested in the burlesque performances than the wrestling performances? Would the wrestlers be the equivalent of Kaiju Big Battel's "costumed backyarders" who mimmick what they've seen other real wrestlers do? I had many questions, and was nervous how it would turn out. I was worried the stripteases would marred by "back row Shimmer" types chuckling and touching their patchy mustaches. I was basically preparing for the worst.

Well, it was completely awesome, and I would go again in a heartbeat. The crowd was hot all night and might have been the best crowd I've ever watched wrestling with. Everybody was ridiculously respectful and appreciative and impressed by EVERYthing that was done. The ring was mic'd to infinity, so every bump sounding like it would bring the Fillmore down, and the crowd responded accordingly. I won't go into too much detail about the burlesque portions, as I have no experience criticizing stripteases, so can't really tell you if one is good or horrendous.

1. Lux La Croix & ?? danced

These gals danced to the Cramps "Can Your Pussy Do the Dog".

2. Maquiavelico/Zeus vs. Tony Cassanova/??

The first two guys are chubby rudos squeezed into some lime green tights and Tony Cassanova and his partner are babyfaces who can pull off nice ranas. This match - while not super flashy - at least confirmed that the guys were trained wrestlers, so that was a plus. There was a nice plancha to the floor. LLV cleverly has a security guard posted at ringside to act as a base, and it ends up making dives look cool, as there are more bodies strewn about after the dive.

3. Lucy Fur danced

Rachel thought this gal looked like Rachel McAdams.

4. Las Calaveras vs. Dirty Sanchez/Chocolate Caliente

Los Calaveras had cool skeleton get-ups, Dirty Sanchez is a really foul guy in dirty tights, wearing a merkin, and he has a pretty spectacular mask with a Rollie Fingers mustache. Chocolate Caliente is a fat black guy with an afro pick. This match had a bunch of fun spots, including an awesome dive train sequence, with a big flip dive from Chocolate, all capped off by a crazy tope from the 50+ yr. old ref. Match ended when Dirty Sanchez dropped his drawers, there was some admittedly funny miscues resulting in Chocolate and the ref getting dirty sanchez'd, but ultimately Las Calaveras rolled him up.

5. Moana Santana danced

This girl did a naughty nurse/crazy sexed-up mental patient routine, and I got no complaints. A cute gal dancing to Napoleon IV's "They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa" (Dr. Demento show, Sunday nights when I was 13, FTW!), transitioning into one of the greatest garage rock songs ever, Count Five's "Psychotic Reaction". Awesome. She also was able to remove her underwear with her high heels. Again, I'm not familiar with this stripteasing, but that move seemed pretty impressive. Maybe it's old hat around the burlesque community, but I thought it was cool. Veteran burlesque viewers might have been watching it with their monocles and spats and whatever else they wear and saying "P'shaw. That tired old gag." But I personally enjoyed it.

6. Cassandro vs. Villano III (Bull Terrier Match)

This was probably the most violent version of "Liza with a Z" I've ever seen. Cassandro is over HUGE with the crowd, as he came out wearing one of the most awesome robes ever and plays to the crowd better than most of the stripteasers. Villano III looked totally bad ass in his black and red get-up, wearing a rad leather-looking mask. They got right to it after getting tied together (none of the usually rudo stalling to get dog collared), and Cassandro instantly starts ripping at Villano's mask. He gets the mask off with a bulldog spot and does a nice little celebratory salsa. Villano gets pissed though, wraps the chain around his fist and starts beating Cassandro in the face.

Things get nastier after that as Cassandro must have taken no less than 6 or 8 bumps directly onto the balled up chain. So damn painful looking. Villano takes a spill to the floor, and Cassandro does a completely nutty dive (could not even get full momentum, as they were connected by the chain and Villano had most of the slack, so Cassandro did a dive with only about 4 feet of runway before takeoff. Insane.). Back in the ring they did a bunch of great near fall spots, with Cassandro's facials really shining through. Most Cassandro matches I've seen have been on grainy camera phone or fan cam footage, so while he comes off as ridiculously charismatic, I'd never gotten a clear read on the facials. The desperation and frustration conveyed on getting and/or kicking out of two counts was just awesome.

He goes up top, does a great missile drop kick (landing RIGHT on a mass of chain, again), few more roll-ups and we're out. Awesome match. After losing Villano goes on a tirade, yelling at fans and posing. One of the commentators (Blaine Kapatch) had a good line: "I don't speak Spanish, but I'm assuming he said don't step to me or I'll fuck up your forehead as badly as mine."

7. Michelle L'amour danced

She seemed the most professional of all the ladies. A quick google search says she has won awards for her burlesque work. I'm assuming Tina Fey won the same award. She wins everything.

8. Los Crazy Chickens/Lil' Chicken vs. Chupacabra/Dr. Maldad/3 (!) Chupacabritas

This match was just too much damn fun and had too much going on to begin to describe. I think the chickens are PWG's Los Luchas, but not sure. If they are then they showed way more charisma here than when I've seen them as Los Luchas. One of them moved like TJ Perkins IMO, but who knows. Lil' Chicken may have been Mascarita Dorada, as he moved really similarly, and did some spectacular spots that few are capable of doing. The rudos were all really fun and this was total chaos, with 8 workers, 4 of them minis just going nuts the whole time with ridiculous spots. The dives started from the ring to the stage, and then went from the stage to the floor where all of the crowd was standing. Everybody in this match (including that same 50+ yr. old referee) did 1-2 dives, whether from the ring, or into the crowd, or from the freaking balcony to the floor (minimum 15 ft. drop). This was insanely fun and had great comedy, great spots, and crazy dives. Mascarita's (?) around the world headscissors was infinitely more amazing here, as his chicken feathers were flying everywhere as he did it. This was 20 minutes of nonstop fun.

So go see Lucha Va Voom. It was 2.5 hours and it was never boring. The time flew by and not only was the wrestling a blast, but the gals were cute, the pacing was great, and the crowd was appreciative. What more could you want!?

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#6: Cassandro

by Eric

I'll be honest. Before 2008 I had only seen two Cassandro matches. I've always been a big fan of Pimpinela Escarlata, mainly because as long as I've been watching lucha (2000), AAA was always so bad that the few good regulars there over the last decade (Pimpi, Apaches, Garza, Perro) always stood out. Well starting in 2006/2007 Cassandro started working pretty regularly for AAA and therefore started making tape more often than before (i.e. never). And we are all better for it. Cassandro is really the complete package. His charisma is through the roof. He works great in front of small indie crowds, large hipster Lucha Va Voom crowds, British crowds, large lucha crowds, everything. He knows when to play to the back row and when to play to the front row. His bumping is unreal. He may have one of the most insane regular bumps in wrestling today, where he flies through the middle ropes and wraps himself around the ringpost, and every match he finds cool ways to work it in. His sequences always look great and he really gets the most out of the exotico style. Where I get the feeling some exotico workers just throw on makeup as a cheap way to get heat, he knows how to get the most out of it. He might be the best at building to a unwanted kiss spot or an unwanted butt bump of any exotico I've seen. The one tragic thing is that all his best matches are not being taped. What we've seen is merely grazing the surface of Cassandro. No doubt AAA made the right choice in not airing the hair match against Lady Apache earlier this decade. No, no, we needed to see a Black Family trios. Who would want to see any of the Cassandro/Santo singles matches, or Cassandro working opposite Negro Navarro in London? This is a travesty that so many Kurt Angle TNA house show main events get recorded every year, but none of this amazing Cassandro stuff is being documented. Something needs to be done. In the meantime we'll just cross our fingers that Lucha Va Voom has a bunch of his stuff in the can, or some mystery fan with handheld footage emerges. Until then we'll enjoy what we have of him.

Recommended 2008 Matches:

~w/ Billy Boy/Mascara Divina/Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Jesse/Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko (AAA, 1/19/08)
~w/ Pimpinela Escarlata/Pasion Cristal vs. Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko (AAA, 4/10/08)
~w/ Hijo del Cien Caras vs. Incognito/Mascara Ano Dos Mil (Promociones Wagner, 9/6/08)
~vs. Sara Del Ray (IWA-MS, 9/27/08)
~w/ El Hijo del Santo/Magno vs. Mystico de la Juarez/Silver King/Ruby Gardenia (Lucha Libre London, 12/9/08)

Recommended Career Matches:

~w/ Zumbido/Antifaz vs. Pimpinela Escarlata/Sangre Chicana/Casanova (Monterey, 1/8/06)
~w/ Picudo/Nygma vs. Ozz/Cuervo/Scoria (AAA, 3/4/06)
~w/ Gran Apache/Mini Chessman/Tiffany vs. Fabi Apache/Billy Boy/La Parkita/Pimpinela Escarlata (AAA, 5/15/06)
~vs. Pimpinela Escarlata (AAA, 5/18/06)
~w/ Alan/Billy Boy/Decnnis vs. Gran Apache/May Flowers/Pimpinela Escarlata/Polvo de Estrellas (AAA, 5/20/06)
~w/ Faby Apache/Takashi Suguira vs. Pimpinela Escarlata/Oriental/Chikayo Nagashima (AAA, 9/3/07)

2009 Outlook:

I'm sure he would place high if we actually got to see more of his matches. I have seen one Cassandro match that took place in 2009. Lucha Va Voom does his San Francisco a couple times a year, but I am admittedly worried to go check it out (what if the rest of the wrestling stinks? what if the comedy is really unfunny? what if the burlesque bores me to tears? would it be worth my $30 for the one Cassandro match!?). So, let's keep those fingers crossed that we be blessed with more Cassandro!

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Phil's Ongoing 2008 MOTY List

1. Blue Panther v. Villano V CMLL 9/19
2. Yuki Ishikawa + Alexander Otsuka + Munenori Sawa v Daisuke Ikeda + Katsumi Usuda + Super Tiger II BattlArts 7/26
3. Jimmy Jacobs v. B.J. Whitmer IWA-MS 3/1
4. Floyd Mayweather v. Big Show WWE 3/30
5. Mike Quakenbush v. Johnny Saint WXW 3/8
6. Teddy Hart v. Eddie Kingston v. Homicide JAPW 1/19
7. Yuki Ishikawa v. Carl Greco BattlArts 6/1
8. Necro Butcher v. Sami Callihan IWA-MS 10/4
9. Rey Cometa/Pegasso/Freelance vs Los Oficiales IWRG 10/17
10. Bull Pain/Todd Morton v. Jerry Lawler/Chris Michaels XCW-Midwest 8/9
11. Necro Butcher v. Predator IGF 6/23
12. Blue Panther v. Atlantis CMLL 7/11
13. Mystico De La Juarez/Silver King/Rubi Gardenia v. Cassandro/Magno/El Hijo Del Santo Lucha Libre London 12/9
14. Necro Butcher v. 2 Cold Scorpio IWA-MS 8//17
15. Blue Panther v. Villano V CMLL 9/29
16. Meiko Satomura v. Aja Kong SENDAI 10/26
17. Yuki Ishikawa v. Alexander Otsuka RJPW 6/18
18. Mitsuhara Misawa v. Takeshi Morishima NOAH 3/2
19. Bryan Danielson v. Nigel McGuiness ROH 2/23
20. Erick Stevens v. Roderick Strong FIP 2/8
21. Trik Davis v. Sami Callihan IWA-MS 8/17
22. Hayato Jr. Fujita v. Yoshitune MPRO 12/12
23. Nigel McGuiness v. Austin Aries ROH 3/28
24. Evan Bourne v. Chavo Guererro WWE 10/14
25. Finlay v. Chuck Palumbo WWE 5/20



Previously on the List

Shawn Michaels v. Ric Flair WWE 3/30
Finlay v. JBL WWE 3/30
El Valiente + El Hijo Del Fantasma + La Mascara v. La Sombra + Volador Jr. + Sagrado CMLL 4/30
Blue Panther v. Averno CMLL 11/4

13. Mystico De La Juarez/Silver King/Rubi Gardenia v. Cassandro/Magno/El Hijo Del Santo Lucha Libre London 12/9

This was the main event of the final Lucha Libre London show, and is pretty much everything you could ask for in a lucha libre trios match. Santo is a guy who only shows up on tape once or twice a year, and you really have to search high and low for it. Santo is still Santo and hits all of his signature awesome stuff here, but this match was really made by the performances of everyone else. Cassandro was completely amazing here, crisp, spectacular and really charismatic, by the end of this match he was the most over guy on the show. Mystico De La Juarez and Magno are Juraez guys who clearly work each other a ton, and they have some very cool exchanges, Mystico is a total bump freak as he takes an awesome reverse rana and a nasty looking Code Red from Santo. This was really a traditional formula lucha match, mat work and quick exchanges in the first fall, violent rudo brawling in the second and wild dives and near falls in the third. It is a great formula, and much like the Southern tag formula, pretty rare in 2009. So when you see it done so well like this it is a real pleasure.

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