Segunda Caida

Phil Schneider, Eric Ritz, Matt D and occasional guests write about pro wrestling. Follow us @segundacaida

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

It Reassures Me Just to Know That Cassandro's OK

~Pimpiniela Escarlata/Casanova/Sangre Chicana vs. Cassandro/Zumbido/Antifaz (Arena Coliseo de Monterrey, 1/8/06) - FUN

Cassandro attacks Pimpi to start and it is ON. Pimpi looks insanely awesome here. He looks like the freakiest awkward stage of a 12 yr. old girl's life. He had a bleach blonde bob with a singlet that made him look like a demented aerobics instructor. Cassandro has rad Fabulous Moolah hair here and worked really stiff the entire match. His opening punch to Pimpi looked completely bell-ringing. Once back in the ring he lands a couple of really painful dropkick variations, getting vaulted into the air by his teammates and just nailing dudes in the corner.

Cassandro and Pimpi have been working together for about 16 or 17 years at this point, so it's no real surprise that they know how to run a great sequence together. Nobody's ever surprised when Negro Navarro runs through a decent sequence with Solar, nobody was ever surprised when Gena Rowlands turned in a good performance in a John Cassavetes movie. Some things just go well together and never get old. These two run through different sequences every time I see them work, and they have a hot run here. Cassandro tries to powerbomb Pimpi off a hurraranrana attempt, only to have Pimpi counter with his weight and turn it into a balls-to-the-face seated senton. Cassandro tries his own running flying headscissors and Pimpi just ducks, causing Cassandro to just land hard on his butt, legs out. Then Cassandro charges into the corner and gets tossed head over heels onto the floor. If you haven't noticed, Cassandro can take some massively dangerous bumps to the floor.

Arena Coliseo de Monterrey never has a shortage of juiced up former strippers working as luchadors, and Casanova is exactly that. Cassandro wanted Casanova's business, and did not keep it secret in a hilarious secret. Cassandro kept purposely blowing a "slide through the legs" spot with Casanova, the first time not sliding far enough through and ending up face first in his crotch, the second time trying to slide through Casanova's legs saw his slide come up too short, ending in some rump to groin that Casanova had to pretend he hated. Casanova was torn. The men in the crowd saw his longing, saw the pain through his cut stripper physique. But Casanova is paid because the ladies love him. True love, or your dedicated lady fans? Their love was a lie.

Sangre Chicana can still go, man. He had lost his hair about a week before this, so was just a maniac with a shaved head, just punching and bumping and just generally being a bad ass. Finish comes when poor Pimpi gets punted right in the balls by Zumbido, who just looks like someone who would punt you right in the balls.


~Jesse/Nygma/Polvo de Estrellas/Yuriko vs. Cassandro/El Ángel/Pimpinela Escarlata/Super AAA (AAA, 10/18/07) - SKIPPABLE

God damn you Night Queens. You always have a few good spots in you, but most of the time your matches are a race to see who can get in the worse position possible for the tecnicos' offense.

The Queens are wearing some garish purple get-ups, with Polvo's torn leotard holding tight his round physique, and Nygma's velveteen flared jumpsuit hugging his body in all sorts of unflattering ways. Their fashion just cannot compete with Cassandro and Pimpi's stereo satin white robes (with Cassandro rocking a kicky white top hat to boot!).

The Night Queens don't blow it until the 2nd Caida, as they had some decent moments during the 1st. Polvo hit a nice pudgy senton and Jesse hit a colossal Alabama (Nuevo Leon?) Jam while Pimpi was draped across somebody's knees. Those were good looking spots right there.

And then the rest of the match happened. Night Queens just try and make every base spot as awkward looking as possible. Angel tries a rana from the apron to the floor, and Nygma starts backpedaling as he catches him then just kind holds his crotch to his face, then finally regains his balance enough to do a really poor somersault out of it. Later on he gets into position for a armdrag a good 15 seconds too early. They stumble through some rote sequences and then Night Queens expertly try and screw up the dive train (which is beginning to seem like their specialty). Pimpi had to stop a dive in mid air (he was doing a somersault tope and never let go of the ropes) due to the Queens not looking in the right direction (you know, towards the ring) in the 12/14/07 match, and here they do the same fucking thing!! Except - AWESOMELY - Pimpi at full speed does NOT put on the brakes and just barrels through them coming out totally sideways like Mike Knox's flying crossbody, just obliterating a Queen. Cassandro is smart and opts to stop his dive, as it would have been sure death to rely on one of these clowns to catch him.

The end is really fun as Cassandro misses a moonsault on Polvo, opts to try it again, and Polvo gets up and just clubs him off the top rope, with Cassandro getting dumped back in the ring right on his head...which AAA's expert camera's naturally miss.

There are still more Night Queens match ups left to go. I am frontloading them. At least the 10/26/07 one was awesome. Naturally that was the one I watched first, and when the outlier happens to be the first match you see...God damn you Night Queens.

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE CASSANDRO

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