Found Footage Friday: LOW KI~! PCO~! DR. DEATH~! 2 COLD~! MEAN STREET POSSE~! LONDON~! KENDRICK~! FBI~!

WWE Vault Dark Matches

Pierre Carl Ouellet vs. El Tornado(?) 7/7/03

MD: Pretty insane performance by PCO here. Not surprising but he went so far over the top that he did three things in one match probably not otherwise seen in a WWE ring in 2003: a sit out chokeslam, sit out pumphandle slam, top rope exploder. That was on top of both a flip dive to the floor and the flipping cannonball senton he won it with. He also took a gnarly face first corner bump that was not at all warranted by the guy half his size whipping him across the ring. He balanced it with a lot of energy and charisma and a connection with the crowd but it almost all felt like a rib somehow. His opponent was game and along for the ride and got pretty good heat at times but not necessarily through much that he was doing. Just having the offense against PCO here was going to be enough and he didn't capitalize on it by leaning into it in any way. I don't think I'd hire PCO off of this but I sure as hell would give him a 2003 ROH run.

ER: It's crazy how PCO ran the ropes better than every person on the current WWE roster. Not sure who El Tornado(?) is but the man had a fine backdrop and a real nice slingshot senton. It's awesome to see PCO taking bumps off the edges of aprons 20+ years ago, not so different than the Shawn Michaels casket match bump that turned him into one of the worst big match workers of the 2000s. We all know PCO now for his inhuman bumps, but I didn't remember him being so good at bumping into the buckles. Every time he went into the buckles - back first, chest first - it looked so hard. There are some spots in this that they absolutely would not have allowed a regular heavyweight to be doing. The top rope exploder was incredible, both men standing on the top with seemingly no balance issues, PCO getting legs behind it like he was just standing on the mat. Insane. The cannonball hit perfectly, but really everything he did hit perfectly. The man could have been great doing just "basic" clotheslines and slams, but instead he was out here killing himself and a game opponent whom none of us know. 

Mean Street Posse (Rodney/Pete Gas) vs. Low Ki/Vincent Goodnight 8/7/00

MD: We come in on a crazy Low Ki dive (set up well by Goodnight teasing one drawing the MSP in another direction, a set up not used nearly enough now honestly) followed by a great transition where Ki, going for another dive off the apron is knocked off by Rodney knocking Goodnight into him, landing right in Gas' clutches for a world's strongest slam. Gas looked pretty good here, honestly. Most of the rest of the match was a FIP on Ki and Rodney looked ok, but Gas was in the right place and doing the right thing with the right energy. They did a phantom tag (with a clap) as Goodnight had the ref, solid stuff, well taught. The comeback had Goodnight punching one MSP in the corner while Ki kicked the other and they weren't entirely in sync (Ki would have just kicked him all day) before they just crashed into each other and I saw the Gas Mask for the first time in years (I remembered it being more of a full reverse full nelson for some reason when here it was more of a just a lift up). There was probably a really good Ki vs Gas singles match in here somewhere.

ER: I am a big fan of the actual wrestling abilities of the Mean Street Posse, so was excited to see this turn up. Low Ki vs. Pete Gas is one of those oddball EWR pairings that surely never happened in the real world, and yet here's Gas and Rodney hanging in to catch Low Ki's Phoenix splash to the floor, Ki kicking Gas across his very large face, and Gas slamming Ki hard on the floor. Who taught Rodney how to throw his actually good worked punches? Who taught Gas to throw such aggressive low cut missed clotheslines? How many pairs of normal jeans could have been made out of Rodney's double wide legged jeans? How did Gas have such nice form on his vertical suplex? I love Gas choking out Low Ki and breaking before 5, repeatedly telling the referee he could count. What's incredible about Pete Gas and the way he says "I can count!" is that he knows exactly how to say it the way a guy who didn't actually know how to count would defensively and angrily say it. I loved Rodney's sell of Low Ki's short superkick, bumping fast after leaning in chin first. Vincent Goodnight was the only part of this match that didn't work. The guy looked like a worse version of Lenny Lane. Hundreds of guys would have made a better Low Ki partner, but what should stand out the most is how legitimately good the Mean Street Posse looked.  

Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. FBI (Little Guido/Tony Mamaluke) 8/1/06

MD: This was a hot mess, but still pretty fun. The problem was that the crowd was totally behind the FBI, which Guido (ribs taped even) was able to play into and Spanky, maybe, just a little bit as well, but that no one else could adapt to and the match structure didn't adapt to. London and Kendrick might get a pop for a big move or double team or dive but then the crowd would turn right back on them again. Guido worked really well with both guys. At one point they did a cazadora before Kendrick looped around into a roll up but during it, Guido smacked him right in the back which is a great bit. Mamaluke looked real rough around the edges but when he actually landed, that added more than substracted. There was one missed clothesline where a foot got up somehow that looked nasty, right before London absolutely wiped out on a dive. If they had adapted and really leaned hard into Kendrick/London heeling I think this would have been over huge and could have been honestly great but they stayed the course and ran off the road.

ER: Kendrick's and London's shorts are hands down the worst gear in wrestling history. I fucking hated these enormous culottes in 2006 and they look even worse now. They look like 9 year olds wearing their father's board shorts. I don't think this match was too negatively affected by the teams sticking to their plan and mostly ignoring the fans. Sure, it probably would have been amazing if London and Kendrick came in and chose to be overt heels, but this felt like a crowd worth ignoring, one that wouldn't play along regardless of how you played to them. They were going to react to all the big spots no matter what but they also wanted to get themselves over. I don't think it was a bad crowd, but it wasn't a crowd to cater to. 

As is, I thought this was among the best Guido looked during his long WWE run. This guy was working with something to prove. He looked great against both champs but especially against Kendrick. He and Kendrick worked a lot together but this felt like they were pushing each other hard. Guido blocking Kendrick's majistral, punching him in the back during a cazadora, dropping a knee on his face, both men pushing pace. Everyone else in the match outclassed Tony Mamaluke, who was shockingly behind what I remembered him as. This man couldn't keep up with what anyone else was doing and then he somehow managed to kick Kendrick in the face on a missed clothesline. I skipped back several times and still don't know what he was doing or why he did what he did. It's like he threw he leg up as if Kendrick was supposed to roll over a knee lift with a cradle...but he was also throwing a missed clothesline so what was that leg even doing there? Guido holds Kendrick right after so Mamaluke can hit a cool standing cannonball into him, then everyone lets London splat on the floor on a dive. Nobody came close to catching that man. London's shooting star press vaulting off Kendrick's back looked incredible. 

Justin Credible vs. Kid Kash 9/18/01

 

MD: The crowd did not want to go along for this journey. Kash did small things fine, I'm talking firing back after a big spot or working out of a chinlock. He did some very impressive big things, a run up flip dive to the floor, a pretty complex leaping rana off the top. Credible was... you know, credible, not just sitting arond on the chinlock, working him in the corner, hitting his pull out powerbomb. The fans just weren't buying what they were selling though. In some ways, I think this was a pretty well put together tryout sort of match, but it just didn't click. They even had one unique spot I liked a lot where Credible kicked Kash off of him, pressing him right into the corner hard, only for Kash to fall forward with a headbutt to the crotch. That got a little bit of an "ohhh" but they were right back on their feet a moment later and couldn't really capitalize on it. Or anything else, I guess. At least Kash had the XWF to fall back on.

ER: This is the kind of content the Vault Fans are clamoring for. Justin Credible is one of those wrestlers that is impossible to have a hot take about. There have been a lot of wrestlers who we have worked to change the narrative on, but what if Justin Credible became one of those "actually you know who was really great?" wrestlers. How useless would that be? Maybe it's true. I remember him being an above average bumper and I'm sure there are some other skills he doesn't get credit for. He doesn't get credit for them, because he is someone that nobody wants to talk about. I love talking about guys like that, so let's see if I can further ruin my life by becoming a Justin Credible Truther. His weird minimal contact DDT looks really great when Kid Kash is flying fast onto his face. I also like the way he leaned out of almost all of Kid Kash's punches. One thing you want to do in someone's tryout match is lean out of all their strikes.  He was decent at catching both of Kash's swinging huracanranas and not great at catching his dive, but his scoop powerbomb out of the corner looked good and his superkick was better than I remembered. This was the first Justin Credible match we at Segunda Caida have written about in literally 18 years. Can't wait to revisit his work in my early 60s. 

 

Dr. Death Steve Williams vs. Scorpio 4/28/98

 

MD: I don't know. When this dropped, I saw a bit of "I don't see how this guy could have main evented against Austin" and maybe that would have been an issue. Asking him to do a twenty minute walk and brawl while the stooges were guest timekeepers or whateve rmight have been a problem. This, where Scorpio could create a lot of the motion and Doc could catch him midair off a slingshot with a straight punch or catch a dive and drop him into a tombstone, or just run him over worked pretty well. When he had to bump, he used his whole body, going feet overhead in a slow timbering motion that worked. Credible strikes. A long press slam that got over with the crowd, enough mannerisms to remind him he was alive at all points, a few too many swears that made it all seem just a bit more labored than it had to. I'd watch another twenty matches with this Doc in this environment up against end-run Vader or rookie Edge or Val or Faarooq or whatever.

ER: I have been so excited for this one since it got uploaded, and, yeah, it didn't fully work. I don't think it was either man's fault, but I don't know what the actual problems were. I am not someone who buys into the whole "Doc wouldn't have been able to work WWF style" because that narrative is almost always based on the fallacy that "all Doc does is dangerous suplexes". Dr. Death Williams (as Howard Finkel calls him) is not a one dimensional wrestler, and in 1997 I thought he was one of the greatest wrestlers in the world. Watch his few early '97 ECW matches and tell me his (great) match against Raven couldn't have worked with the majority of the 1998 WWF roster. His 1997 All Japan work is excellent. Watch Misawa's first Triple Crown defense after winning it back from Kobashi. Yes, Misawa takes several suplexes onto his head - it was his fetish after all - but Doc is so much more than suplexes in that match. His energy and look would have absolutely played in WWF a year later. What's so confusing, is that a lot of that energy was completely absent in this match. Maybe that last full year in AJPW really did break him down, but I'm still not so sure. Before this match, the man had just spent the previous month working long Champions Carnival matches, so it's possible his body was worn out from that. I don't know. He did look a step slower here, in a way that I never saw him look in '97, so who's to say when that started. 

It's also easy to forget (unless you go back and watch the footage) that Scorpio was not at his best in early 1998 WWF. The man's timing in singles matches was so far out of whack. I don't know why, but watch late '97/early '98 WWF Scorpio and the man was a constant timing problem. He didn't start looking like himself again until he started teaming with Terry Funk, magically regaining his old form overnight. This match was during the Funk team run, but his singles match timing still wasn't there. I don't think either man did anything specifically bad here, sometimes things just don't work. I still don't agree with the narrative that Doc wouldn't have been able to adapt to The Style. "His big suplexes wouldn't have played in WWF, they needed punch kick guys in their main events" and well the best parts of this match were every single time Doc turned it into a punch exchange. Punching Scorpio out of the air on a slingshot was easily the best spot of the match, but he had several different punches that all looked tremendous, including a staggering right while both were selling on their feet, and a series of jabs that backed Scorpio into the corner and looked like something out of Valentine/Garvin. The crowd doesn't get into any of it, until a Scorpio back suplex makes it sound like they are getting actually fired up for Scorp's comeback. But then he starts his comeback and it dies instantly down to silence. Oh well. 

Maybe this would have seemed like a good match if the crowd had reacted to any of it. It looked like a match that deserved some reaction. The press slam spot looked great, the punches all looked good, Doc catching Scorpio's moonsault press was a cool spot that wasn't being done in 1998, but even then it looked like the crowd wanted something bigger than just a front slam out of it. The reactions were not there and that killed the match good. But both men also seemed off in ways that I don't think reflect their actual abilities. Anyway, I wish I had a Dr. Death match against every member of the 1998 WWF roster for further research but yeah yeah this didn't work like it should have. 

 

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Found Footage Friday: WWE in Melbourne, Australia 8/29/04

8/29/04 Full Show


Funaki vs. Rene Dupree

MD: Fun opener that outside for one big German cut off to set up the finish, could have happened almost spot for spot fifteen years before. This followed Teddy Long opening the show by flubbing a half dozen lines, but the fans were happy to see him and to be getting a show in general. Funaki came out with a valet who immediately went to the back and I can't place what was going on there and the internet is no help. Early chain wrestling worked. Lots of little tricks like Dupree pointing to his hair to draw the ref off so he could do a hairpull himself, only to have Funaki hold on to the wristlock. Things like that. Dupree got a knee in off the ropes and took over with things very first match and simple, but the crowd was eager to cheer and especially eager to see Dupree hop around with his trademark comedy bit of the month. That let him get rolled up for a banana peel Funaki win. Simple, straightforward, effective. I think the blog's covered maybe two Rene Dupree matches ever so I have no idea what his 2010s in Japan are like but I'm sort of curious. Regardless, it's hard to tell with a crowd this eager to see wrestling, but he seemed to be over, down to kissing the hand of a woman on the way out and getting a big pop. 

ER: "Tajiri!!" some little kid near the camera yells excitedly. Sorry, that's the other guy. Hopefully the kid doesn't get the exact same letdown during the Kenzo Suzuki match later on. This match is clipped up a bit, but what we got was really good. Rene Dupree was an majorly under-appreciated act in WWE, and would make an interesting project for me to go back through searching for gems. He was a fully formed act in 2004 and you could see that better on house shows than on TV. He knew how to get heat from this crowd, who granted, were excited to give that heat. They're like the perfect crowd for everything Dupree does, and they seem in on the joke without being annoying about it. I am not familiar with Australian sports, so I am also not familiar with the rhythm of Australian wrestling chants, which do not follow the NEMA standard four syllable/five clap timing. 

Dupree has very funny body language and is good at getting reactions with just his movement, or just his posture. When he's flopping in funny ways to sell Funaki's wristlock, falling over himself when Funaki just won't let go, it's like classic Regal. It builds really nicely from wrist control into some tough Dupree offense. He hit a hard shoulderblock, backbreaker, and a knee lift, and he flat out levels Funaki with a hard clothesline after punching mat on a Funaki sunset flip. They took it further than I was expecting, because I was not expecting Dupree to bounce Funaki off his face with a huge release German suplex. And the finish is great, as Dupree saves the French Tickler dance for the very end, giving the crowd exactly what they wanted (somehow the section with our cameraman were the biggest French Tickler fans in Melbourne), and as Dupree is bouncing his bulge for each side of the ring, he falls victim to a Funaki schoolboy. The crowd loved seeing Rene Dupree lose, but most importantly: They loved seeing Rene Dupree. I think Australia might have been right. 

Spike Dudley vs. Rey Mysterio

MD: A lot to like here too. Smart stuff right from the get go where Spike let Rey chase him around the ring so that he could ambush him on the inside, only to get a quick comeuppance and feed for a steady shine. That built to him taking a powder and threatening to leave only to really eat Rey's baseball slide on the way out and catch his flip dive over Charles Robinson, who had tried to stop him from diving a moment before. Real crowd-pleasing stuff. Nice transition where Spike jammed Rey off the ropes causing him to bump stomach first out of the ring. The heat was them working in and out of bodyscissors with the comeback just a foot up by Rey on a leap from the top by Spike. In the stretch it was all about wondering how Rey was going to position him for the 619, and he did manage it after kicking out of an Acid Drop, but by then the Dudleys had come out and one foot grab and roll up later (second roll up in two matches, so that's some iffy agenting), Spike's retained. They did a good job of making it seem like the fans might see a title change for a while there though.

ER: Heel era Spike was really great, and I was so excited to get another singles match from that run, let alone another Rey singles match. The only singles matches they had on TV was Spike's title win and Spike's title loss, so it's cool seeing the literal first singles match after the title win. Spike always had good offense but wasn't always in the role to show that offense. His heel run was his chance to show his bruiser side, the side he probably hadn't played since his Incredibly Strange Wrestling. This was the match I was most excited to see on this handheld, and while it probably wasn't as good as Rene Dupree vs. Funaki, it was still so good. The crowd was into heel Spike, and Spike is a great base for Rey's best. Spike takes a sick bump into the ringpost and later threatens to walk out, then walks back the hard way directly into a Rey baseball slide, then adeptly catches his slingshot senton. Spike is real precise worker on offense and defense, good at catching crossbodies and nailing his flying forearm and torpedo headbutt. His set ups are really strong, and Rey has precision as good or greater than Spike's so it's a super pairing of the two smallest guys on the roster. 

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

MD: I went and watched this. Might as well write it up. They had probably wrestled each other fifty times by this point, right? They had the act down. The fans clapped Torrie up while in the chinlocks but barely reacted at all to her spear and her actual comeback, which is always a sign that something isn't quite right. Korderas brought out a hankerchief for after he got rolled upon during the catfight bit and that was kind of funny, I guess. Prop comedy. They came back and did this exact same match up the following April and I'm vaguely curious to see what that would have looked like. I don't know. This was fine for what it was and Dawn Marie gets a few extra points for her post match selling, even if she lost a few for never leaving her feet on the catapult into the corner. I'd never seen someone take a catapult as an Irish Whip before. Torrie won with a DDT. Something on this card needed a clean finish so I guess this was as good as any.

ER: Maaaaan I think Matt is being a bit of a curmudgeon here. I was actually excited for this one, because Dawn Marie is a really great thing. I became a big fan of Dawn Marie since seeing her at the 1/3/03 WWF Cow Palace card, where she had a standout match on an absolutely stacked show. It was a Bra & Panties match against Gail Kim, where she worked arm based offense to weaken Kim's clothes-ripping abilities. Both women played into the story and it was definitely the most technical match I've seen worked around a Bra & Panties gimmick. Dawn Marie bringing arm work into a match for the sole purpose of delaying the panty payoff is the mark of a brilliant heel worker who knew exactly what she was doing, impossible for me to not be a fan for life. And I think this match a year and a half later was really good, painting the picture of a real strong house show worker. 

Dawn Marie's selling is strong, she throws hard forearms, and works really tight headlocks. She's honest on offense, making good contact and selling that impact. Look at the way she runs into and staggers out of Torrie Wilson's boot in the corner. I don't think she ever got enough credit for how well she took offense and excelled at the basics. I thought the Jimmy Korderas comedy spot worked really well toward the end of the match. It's not the kind of spot they were doing on television, and based on all of the people audible around our cameraman, this section was clearly familiar with all of the TV. You could tell by the big reaction and genuine laughs that the crowd hadn't seen two women steamrolling a bald ref with their cat fight, and it felt like a moment unique to a house show. Also, I loved how they set up the spot right after, where Torrie cut LOW on a clothesline that almost hit Korderas! Torrie threw that with more violent form than I would have expected, and I love a miss thrown like a HR swing. Dawn took the DDT right on her head, in the way that looked like a finish. I don't know man. I hate to say Matt is wrong but House Show Dawn Marie speaks for herself. 

Billy Gunn vs. Heidenreich

MD: So far, past a little blip here or there, this was a wrestling show in front of a crowd that wanted to see a wrestling show. Here, that meant Heyman came out and got some real cheap heat on the mic and Gunn came out and got just as cheap a pop. I spend a bunch of time watching 2022 Billy and he stands out in a way now that he didn't back then, but we probably didn't give him enough credit as a community for what he did do well. Not just the punches either. Here, he bumped like crazy to get over the transition (wiping out on the post on the outside) and then to put over the cutoffs. Heidenreich could lean on some simple armwork and wasn't asked to do too much. The finish was, again, straight out of 1989 with Heyman (who had just sold a crotch chop like death on the outside) up on the apron as Billy was going for his finish and he walked right into Heidenreich's kind of weak Boss Man Slam. Again, everything so far has just been hitting the right buttons for the crowd, just like a house show should. 

ER: I thought this was really good too. I must be in some kind of mood. Some of these house shows just really hum. The pacing on this show has been really good, and perhaps it's been helped out a bit by our cameraman's selective in-match editing. Everything has been 5-10 minutes and it's a reallll comfortable window for this roster to hit. I've had a lot of fun going through Big Boss Man's 2002 run, and I bet there are some unheralded gems in Billy Gunn's 2003-2004. Those Gunn/Holly vs. The Bashams matches probably look a lot better in 2022 than they felt in 2004. Shit I should probably do a Bashams C&A too. That one's been overdue.  

This match was a great Gunn showcase, but Heidenreich had a couple real high notes. He took a crazy fast bump over the top to the floor on a missed charge, then a big tumbling bump off the apron after getting up into a hard Gunn forearm smash. Their floor work was really inspired, with Heidenreich taking a big spill into the guardrail (in the days when there was still a big metal guardrail for a 270 lb. guy to sprint into) and Billy Gunn wrapping himself around the ringpost like 1983 Lawler in the Mid-South Coliseum. Heidenreich throws a nice running clothesline, and Gunn takes a real nice flipping bump from it, flipping from the contact and not before it. All of Gunn's punches looked great, from his early match jabs in the corner to his woozy stumbling rights to build to the finish. Heyman's theatrics are incredible house show bullshit, reacting to a Gunn crotch chop by getting literally hopping mad. If he had a hat he would have slammed it to the ground like Boss Hogg. He takes a really big bump off the apron when Gunn punches him off, and I actually thought Heidenreich's high side slam looked pretty good. It didn't have the impact of the Boss Man Slam, but it's not really controversial to say Heidenreich wasn't as good as the Big Boss Man. But the height was actually high, and his control through the move was really good. 

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

MD: It's been a long time since I've revisited any of the Angle vs. Guerrero feud from earlier in 2004, but this was really good. I think it benefited from being a house show, from having lower stakes, from having more time to breathe, from being in the middle of the card. They started with more time on the mat than I remember Angle usually taking at this point in his career, competitive and scrappy. They moved into a headlock sequence with a big payoff then a top wristlock back and forth with all sorts of comedy that was actually funny, all capped off by Eddy pantsing Angle (which the crowd loved but it followed Gunn doing it to himself because it was his gimmick so again, agenting). When Angle finally got to throw a suplex, it meant something, because there was a place for the match to build to. He wasn't working like Mark Rocco but instead let things breathe and build. It all led up to a pretty exciting finishing stretch with one really great nearfall. These two might have had bigger matches earlier or later in the year, but I doubt they had a better one. It was one of the best, most balanced, most measured and meaningful WWE Angle matches I've seen.

Dudley Boyz vs. Paul London/Billy Kidman

MD: Another attempt at cheap heat to start with the crowd getting behind Kidman's Ralph Macchio delivery and overall solid sense of comedic timing. They got on Bubba and seemed to really enjoy chanting at D-Von later so who knows. They were just happy to be there. London worked the brunt of this until the hot tag and the finishing stretch, even most of the shine. D'Von fed for them but Bubba made them work for everything early. It made for a good combination since there was some gravitas due to the size differential while still letting them hit some of their flashier stuff. Heat was well set up with London getting a shot in on Bubba on the apron and then immediately paying for it. Finishing stretch called back to the Cruiserweight match earlier with Spike and then Rey coming out and it all ending with heel miscommunication, another DDT pin, and Spike taking the 619. Good piece of house show business overall.

Rob Van Dam vs. Kenzo Sukuzi

MD: You can't say that these two didn't match up well. They both had stupid, stylized offense, but in some ways that was better than only one of them having stupid, stylized offense. Both took one big bump too, Suzuki taking one from the top rope to the floor off a kick to the rear and RVD going hard into the steps to start the heat. Cutoffs were ok but the actual comeback move was just a kick out of nowhere and felt anti-climactic. As did the finishing stretch. Suzuki probably would have done better to stall more at the start. It was getting a reaction and he had Hiroko at ringside to help get heat. 

John Cena/Charlie Haas vs. Booker T/Luther Reigns

MD: Cena felt like the biggest, most electric star on the show so far, and that's saying something when Angle vs. Eddy was earlier in the night. When I'm watching a random house show tag like this, what I'm really looking for, as much as anything else, are the wrestlers interacting with one another. Cena brought that in a big way, pulling Jackie Gayda in to pose and clapping up Haas after the initial stalling. Delaying of gratification meant that the match started with Haas vs. Reigns instead of Booker vs. Cena, playing around with them post-match. You got the sense that Cena was trying to elevate them for the crowd. There was a bit of Booker hyping Reigns to start the match that was good too. We lose a chunk of this, most of the heat but Haas looked pretty good in there with Reigns for the minute or so we got. Booker exuded this oozing sliminess when he came in to work Haas over. Past that, it was a little paint by numbers in giving the fans what they wanted, but Cena made sure all the numbers were at least high and vibrant and it ended up feeling like a big celebration. 

JBL vs. Undertaker

MD: Really strong house show main event here. JBL cut a good, deluded promo trashing Australia and asking the fans to support him like he was 1983 Tommy Rich. I liked the early loop a lot where they bypassed the initial stalling, teased Old School, had JBL hit a great neckbreaker and Russian leg sweep, had Taker sit up, then did the stalling/leaving, and finished it with Taker dragging him back and actually hitting Old School. The match hinged upon JBL taking out Taker's leg and he really worked to get it early, first capitalizing on a missed knee in the corner by punching it out, then turning a Taker move on the stairs around, and finally tossing a chair into the ring to distract the ref so he could whack it with another chair. He had a nice (in theory though maybe not execution) Gagne-style deathlock on for a while and then they were able to use it to justify all of Taker's comebacks getting cut off. The finish was full of ref bumps and Dupree coming back to cause trouble before the groggy ref saw JBL use the belt for the DQ. Post match, Taker destroyed half the roster as the crowd chanted for Cena to come out to save him, but ultimately they were probably more than ok with what they got.

ER: I thought this was an excellent JBL outing and a kind of lacking Undertaker outing until all of the push to his big comeback, balancing out to a very good house show main. For the first 10 minutes of this long match, I swear Undertaker was throwing every single strike 3" short of his intended target. You could clearly see every JBL shot (and I do mean every kick, punch, chop, and elbow) land, and here's Undertaker throwing punches at a fly a few inches in front of JBL's forehead. JBL and Undertaker's star do the work of two men here, but JBL is the guy taking big bumps and attempting to lean into Taker's strikes, and it's just a great JBL match. I loved early when he wasn't budging Taker with shoulderblocks, then rushes in with even more steam only to get sidestepped, crashing over the top to the floor in a really big bump. JBL is good at bumping into the ring steps, but leg control JBL was a different kind of fun than I was expecting this match to be. When JBL dodges a Taker running boot in the corner and Taker's balls hit the buckles, that's JBL's time to work over that leg.

I love his kneebreaker, a really vicious move for a guy his size to do, trapping Taker's shin in his legs and jumping down to his knees. Taker has an amusingly loose set up for his own rolling kneebar, but JBL is good at dropping tons of elbows on Taker's knee, trapping it in his own legs, applying pressure to the actual knee, and recoiling from all of Taker's strikes to break that hold. Taker is very good at limping around and paying lip service to that knee, though seemed to be selling it better when his leather pant leg was hiked up his leg. JBL set up all of Taker's comeback offense really well, and leaned right into that Snake Eyes/Big Boot combo that a lot of fans bought as the finish. The crowd seemed genuinely surprised when Taker kicked out of the Clothesline from Hell, and I loved Rene Dupree's big bump off the apron when Taker kicked away his distraction. You can't have JBL - even as champ - pinning Taker on the main event of Melbourne's only show of the year, and I thought all the bullshit at the finish was more than enough to send a crowd home happy. 

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE 305 LIVE

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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 21: Ultima Lucha Cuatro - Part 1

TL: We have gone from this series being one of the most sought after pieces of wrestling IP in a really long time to it being available for free on Tubi to watch from the built-in service that comes with my Smart TV. Just in time for us to put this show to bed for good over Ultima Lucha Cuatro. It's been so long since I've watched this I had to go back and read what I wrote for the last couple episodes to familiarize myself with it again but even then, I'm not sure I'll get there. This is very much going to be in-the-moment, based on the ringwork stuff from me. Character work be damned.

ER: So detective Vazquez has lived through a thousand years of society and she's just a cop? The things she must have seen, the dynasties she saw fall...and she's an LA detective? Are there vampires that just open their own paint store?

TL: For being 1,000 years old, Vazquez looks fantastic. Good for her. Extremely happy that her and Aerostar completed the pendant, as they're now going to be able to withstand a guard attack while traversing the Hidden Temple for their lost tribal icon. Hoping Olmec makes an appearance on commentary tonight.

ER: Lots to talk about in just the intros, because Vampiro makes the most ridiculous faces for the duration of Matt Striker's opening spiel. Vampiro was acting like he was reading along with a script, and was making these bug eyed affirmative faces every time Striker would finish a line. Also, it just hit me that Vampiro has hair. He was a big fat guy who voluntarily was shaving his head, intentionally looking like the boat zombie from Zombie!? Nobody shaves their head just to look cool, it's always a choice that's made for them. But Vampiro has hair and he makes reaction faces bigger than the biggest Jeremy Borash TNA reaction faces. Also, Melissa Santos' had a great dress/headband combo, very flattering and a cool style.


The Rabbit Tribe (Paul London/The White Rabbit/El Bunny) vs. Sammy Guevara/XO Lishus/Ivelisse vs. The Reptile Tribe (Jeremiah Snake/Daga/Kobra Moon)

ER: This kicked ass, the kind of bananas match you want from a LU multiman. I do wish the Rabbit Tribe hadn't been eliminated so early, but I like what they did while they were there. This could have been a real mess, but it turned out to be the best kind of mess. All of the jumbled attacks worked well when everyone was in the ring together, Jeremiah throwing big straight kicks at anyone on his path, then tossing his own team to their death. Jeremiah THROWS Kobra to the floor with a powerbomb, bouncing her right off White Rabbit, who just picks her up off the ground and throws her into the ringpost. Two great back to back bumps from Kobra, and the craziest one was yet to come. The dive train was cool, with El Bunny hitting a tiny tope con hilo while Ivelisse held open the ropes, then Ivelisse bent over the top rope while standing on the middle rope so Guevara could vault over her onto the pile (the camera guy really zoomed right up Ivelisse's birth canal, so I can only assume this episode was guest directed by Larry Clark), then Ivelisse flipped over the ropes to cap it off. I dug how everyone scattered, giving every side of the Temple a cool view of different action, but Sammy and Kobra Moon fight up to the top and get a great tease where Guevara almost throws her right off...before hitting a nutso Spanish Fly off the camera stage instead. Even though the move was performed perfectly and everyone was in place to catch, it's still flat out nuts. Plus, they did a great job in editing to not show the actual floor until they were flying off, so you had no idea if there were seven people or zero people down there to catch them. There were some strong pinfall saves, nice kicks to the back of the head, great use of fake blood when White Rabbit jams his gloved fingers down Guevara's throat, an awesome bit where XO fights back against the whole Reptile Tribe, just a ton of fun. This match really felt like season 1 LU, which is nothing but a big compliment.

TL: It's so wild to see Killer Kross go from LU to Impact to becoming The Next Big Thing in NXT in the span of like 18 months. I remember when he called out Batista at Bloodsport and kinda scoffed, but now he's pretty undeniable, and as if on cue, he destroys all six of his opponents only to eat a quintuple superkick. Guevara's excitement is so palpable here, and it's really wild to me that he got used as fodder for Jake Strong like he did. The big Spanish Fly dive was really well done, and him getting the first pin to eliminate the Tribe was a nice touch, but again, with how Kross was built up throughout the season, it seemed like a waste of him here, which unfortunately seems to be this season's MO. The blood was a great touch, like Eric said, but I would have just liked to see a Kross/Guevara singles match, especially with how much Guevara has impressed in his AEW run. The final fall started off really well with the Ivelisse near-fall, and even dug Vampiro's comparison to a World Cup match where a team gets a red card and has to play with 10. Okay, the timing of the near falls here has been REALLY good, and has done a good job of building up the challengers as underdogs, and XO's fire out of the corner really played up, and the extra shot by Jeremiah to give Daga the submission was a nice touch. The booking was a bit much, but the match was exactly what it needed to be given the stips. Feels like the least interesting team won, though.


Ricky Mundo vs. Taya

ER: This is exactly what it should have been: a mostly one sided massacre to blow off a story that never had legs. Once Mundo's creepy doll got involved this went beyond a dark obsession story into something into something eyerolling with no chance of an interesting payoff. And so, the only answer was to have Taya take everything in a short match. I liked Taya landing heavy on a couple crossbodies, the curb stomp looked good, and the post match table spot with Taya letting out her ruined wedding aggression was the best this was going to be. It's smart to know your limits and I'm glad they didn't make this into some overblown epic that it was never going to be. They spent the correct amount of time on it, and you need that kind of smart editing.

TL: I'm not really into this at all because of Ricky more than anything, but Taya showed some nice fire. I wish it was more one-sided than it actually was, with a Taya steamrolling being more emphatic, but LU has always been about the hand-holding for references to previous parts of the storyline, so given that, they hit all the right notes and Taya stood tall. As Eric said, was exactly what it should have been.


Mask vs. Mask: Son of Havoc vs. Killshot

ER: This didn't work for me. It never felt like an actual big stip match, really it didn't feel any different from any other singles match these two have had against any other LU opponent. There were big spots, but every LU match with these guys has the exact kind of big spots that this match had, this match just had less of them (so I guess that means that they are more important?). Plus, the big spots didn't really look that great. Havoc's three big moments all saw him land physically short with his arms in front of him, with Striker even having to cover for his short SSP landing by saying he got Killshot with his head. The camera stand dive looked big, but Guevara's Spanish Fly 20 minutes earlier off that same camera stand looked way bigger. I liked the superplex onto the gurney, but the set ups for all these spots felt like they could have been tightened up in editing. The big shock is when Dumb Donald finally takes off his knit cap to reveal Shane Strickland!

TL: The matches that led up to this left a lot to be desired, even though I came away from them thinking Killshot was at least trying to do a bit more than just throw out spots, and figured maybe the blowoff could lead to something more focused, but the focus came more from them remembering walking through their more complicated sequences. And then after the first Killstomp, it slows to a halt once the gurney gets involved, with them chewing up airtime more than them building up to big spots including either that or the table Havoc introduces. I think the play was for the match to be more deliberate than the Hell of War match, which was basically like a 20-minute adrenaline shot, but instead, it came off plodding, and knowing both the Hell of War match and what Sammy did earlier in the night, not even that Havoc splash in the table came off as good. The superplex into the gurney was pretty damn insane, but for Havoc to survive that, a Killstomp, and then a Storm Cradle Driver seems a bit much. The only thought in my head is "I really hope this doesn't end on a roll-up" and I'm holding on tight. I think the reason I'm not feeling this match as much is because I've seen a lot of the stuff they've done better either earlier in the night (strikes, dives, nearfalls) or in previous matches including either guy, but hey, if you're gonna finish a guy, a Shooting Star Press on a guy tied to a gurney will get it done. "History has been made!" says Matt Striker, and I agree, this match is now in my past. There just wasn't enough drama here for me to buy into the nearfalls, nothing was really earned. It came off flat and hollow. And wouldn't you know it, it's Jermaine Strickland, who basically drops the mic and heads for NXT mediocrity, which I guess is better than what can be said for most folks on this show. At the very least, it got the women in the crowd ready to cry, which is what you really need from an apuestas match. But not before Dante Fox shows up in stolen valor for their tribute to the troops as Strickland heads for Orlando.


TL: It really does feel like we're crawling to the finish line of this marathon, but I also feel like, especially given how the finale of previous Ultima Luchas have gone, we're going to see something absolutely wild given the environment they're working, which is really all you can ask for a show doing its swan song. At least send us home on a high note, even if it's been more slog than passion project this season.


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New Footage Friday: WWE MSG HandHeld 9/20/03

Full Show


MD: I was at this show. My college roommate was from the area and got me a ticket for my 22nd birthday right before I went off to grad school in England. This was the only time I ever went to MSG to see wrestling and as you can tell from the first few seconds of video, business was way down. That meant we ended with great seats, not ringside, but close. I'll be honest. Past the main event and the Taz surprise, I don't remember this card that well. While it was nice to see guys like Spanky, London, Mysterio, and Dragon in a setting like this and the main event felt special, I think, at the time, the main draw was just being in MSG to see wrestling.

Chris Benoit vs. The Big Show

PAS: This was far enough away that I am going to go ahead and try to pretend this was Quiet Storm vs. The Big Show and review it as a match instead of talking about all of that. Mark "The Shark" Shrader vs. Big Show was always a really great match up because John Walters would always move forward constantly while bouncing off of Show. This was a pretty great Nitro length match with Dingo hitting a great looking top rope shoulder block, and locking in the Josh Daniels crossface for the tap.

ER: I didn't love the layout of this one. Big Show took his offense up front, Benoit took all of his in the back, and that might be my least favorite layout in wrestling. I enjoyed all of the work, especially liked Benoit's shoulderblock off the top. But too often this had the vibe of a formula Randy Savage match, where he'd sell the whole match, hit a bodyslam and then finish with the elbow. This was better than that formula, and I liked how the tracking line skipped when Big Show hit a legdrop. Cooler version of the rumble effect WWE always tries.

MD: I don't see a lot of Benoit these days. He was perfectly serviceable chopping from underneath and the timing and explosiveness of the finishing stretch (headbutt, chokeslam reversal into a crossface) was great. The crowd was as behind him as they ever would be too, but to me, this was all about Show. He'd gotten it by this point and the way he controlled the ring, even in just a few minutes, was perfect, absolutely larger than life. This was a victim of the number of matches on the card, much shorter than it needed to be to move the needle, but they gave us a very good TV C show sort of match.

Matt Hardy/Shannon Moore vs. Spanky/Paul London

PAS: Really fun TWA vs. OMEGA tag match you could imagine seeing on Break the Barrier. It was really interesting to see how much bigger the OMEGA guys were then then London and Spanky, how even a three year difference in indy juniors meant 3 inches and 35 pounds (and I am sure London and Spanky would look like giants against the Undisputed Era). Hardy and Moore were the heels here and did a nice job cutting off the ring on Spanky after he took a big bump to the floor (his crazy bump would be topped by Shannon Moore later in the match). I thought the London hot tag was cool including a nicely set up SSP after spring off of Spanky's back. Just what you wanted from this cool matchup.

MD: This was good. I didn't like it as much as the later tag but that was more of a structural preference than anything else. You really got the sense that Hardy was glad to be in there with these guys and that Spanky and London had a lot to prove. They fit a lot into a short period of time and everything looked good with people in the right position at the right time. Again, with a card this stacked, they needed contrast and this was there to get the crowd going after their appetites had been whetted by the early burst of size, spectacle, and star-power.

ER: This is really cool, as Paul London hadn't actually made his TV debut. He had done some Velocity job work, but I bet 90+% of the crowd had no idea who he was, and the reactions for his biggest spots really showed they liked what they were seeing. I also had no memory of Brian Kendrick actually working WWE as "Spanky". What a silly name to have used for so long, and another name to add to the list of "Wait so Bryan Danielson had to be Daniel Bryan, but..." I obviously remember London & Kendrick, I had no memory of a London & Spanky WWE team. I dug this tag, felt like something that would fit in perfectly on this era Velocity. There were a couple minor timing issues and a swinging neckbreaker that looked like it didn't really swing, but the fans were reacting big to London's dropkicks and flipped out for that shooting star off Spanky's back (which is a fantastic spot), and the finish was really great. Spanky goes for a pescado and Moore dunks him right into the floor, then runs halfway around the ring in time to shove London off the top into a Twist of Fate. I thought they added in a couple of good twists, like Spanky being unable to get to his hot tag while Moore got to his, the kind of things that add different gears to a fun spot tag.

Sho Funaki vs. Nunzio

PAS: The Bloodsport version of PWFG trainee versus UWFI undercarder would be pretty cool. The WWE house show version is a pretty basic undercard juniors match. Lots of dropkicks and armdrags. Nunzio did take a big backdrop which was pretty cool, otherwise this was pretty dry.

MD: Nunzio was really great here, just excellent at working the crowd and keeping people engaged, from having the ref mimic his mannerisms pre-match to mocking Funaki. Because of that, even though you had guys down the cruiserweight chain and basically your third-string Japanese guy on the card in a time where you'd be liable just to have one or two, they never lost the fans, which is saying something because this was a crowd that was capable of tuning out in the midst of a good match.

Bashams vs. Ultimo Dragon/Jamie Noble

MD: Enjoyable southern tag, with Dragon playing face in peril and the Bashams dismantling his arm with perfect precision. Here, they did lose the fans, though it wasn't necessarily the fault of the match. It certainly wasn't Noble's fault, since he was working the apron hard and expressing real indignation in his attempts to get in there, even at his partner's expense. The Bashams had only been on TV for a few months and they didn't have Shaniqua to get them heat here (not that she would have necessarily helped). While they were sound in everything they did, it was the opposite of Nunzio. They barely acknowledged the crowd. When the boring chants started, Noble redoubled his efforts on the apron and Dragon went right into hope spots, but it didn't really work out. Noble was fiery enough that the comeback more or less worked out and the finish was effective and elaborate but the crowd just didn't want to come along for the ride of the match. Shame.

PAS: I thought this was spectacular. The Bashams were really great at making a heel beatdown interesting, and they really worked over Dragons arm in cool ways, while feeding him some nifty comebacks and hope spots. I am sort of a low voter on Ultimo, but he can really be breathtaking when he gets on a roll. Noble was really awesome in this match too, knocking out some cool quick takedowns early, being a killer house of fire, including jumping into a guillotine, and then eating that killer super spine buster for the pin. This is a show with some of the most talented wrestlers in wrestling history on it, and it takes a lot to stand out, and he really did.

ER: I'm with Phil, I thought this was great. Bashams were always a team that I was fine with but never fully got into them, always thought they didn't live up to all of the OVW hype Meltzer gave them at the time. There would be flash standout performances, but I also remember them being tied down with Tough Enough manager Linda Miles and I don't think the act worked. But everything about this tag worked for me and made me want to go back and revisit a ton of Bashams. This was easily one of the best Ultimo Dragon performances I remember seeing in WWE (a stint I thought was super disappointing overall). Dragon was the reason for me to buy WAR tapes back in the day, and at this point in my life there are probably on average at least 15 guys on any given WAR show that I would rather watch. But this was the ideal version of WWE Dragon, all his combos landed and I flat out loved the missed strikes between he and Danny Basham. Danny Basham was full of awesome missed strikes here, I don't remember him cutting so low on missed lariats and punches; he really made Ultimo duck and was throwing them super fast. Noble really did look like a much better and more interesting version of Benoit here, everything he did looked fantastic, that running low knee especially was something that I don't think any current worker does as well. But everything he did was done with such exciting speed and impact. There are plenty of guys with speed on the 2020 roster, but Noble was using his speed to make his impact look greater, not using it to work out overly complicated dance routines based around missed your opponent a bunch. Great tag that I would have loved to see get more time.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Tajiri

MD: Everything hit, but I wanted a little more out of this, just given who was in there. I liked how they didn't dally in getting to the transition (which was smart and flowed, as Mysterio went up one too many times and ate a kick), but past one roll-up out of nowhere, there weren't any hope spots and and cut offs. This is the sort of match that needed a few extended comeback spots where Mysterio could get a few things in. The finishing stretch was as good as you'd expect and I liked how they protected Tajiri's kick for the post match, though it was a little weird that Mysterio would rather celebrate with the crowd than go after the guy who snuck in a cheapshot.

PAS: I thought these guys worked really well together, for a pairing you don't necessarily think about. It felt like Tajiri was trying to out Rey, Rey almost trying to one up him in slickness and speed especially at the beginning of the match. The fact he kind of pulled it off is pretty amazing. Loved how Tajiri went after the ribs, using the big kick as a cutoff spot, and then peppering in little body shots and additional kicks. Great stuff which really makes me want to track down all of their other matches against each other.

Charlie Haas vs. Billy Kidman

MD: I haven't seen either of these guys in a long time. There were some things I really liked: Haas' initial intensity with the mat wrestling (though it didn't last long enough; the way he jammed Kidman's outside-in shoulder to set up the posting and the heat, then how Kidman had to work to get that shoulder for a hope spot later; the back-work in general which was intense, and the comeback took effort and the finish was solid. They had the crowd early, probably due to Haas getting promo time, and lost them midway through, but not for long. I outright laughed when Haas tried to power bomb Kidman, because I didn't think that was still happening in 2003. So I liked the brunt of the storytelling here. Some of the spots were awkward and Kidman's offense in the stretch wasn't great but you couldn't have wanted much more from a cold house show match between these two.

Eddie Guerrero vs. John Cena vs. Rhyno

MD: As triple threats go, I thought this was pretty good. They kept the laying-on-the-outside to a minimum. Cena was definitely full of star power and willing to throw himself into everything. Eddy had this way of creating chaos so effortlessly and then taking advantage of it. You should have been able to see the strings but you never did.

PAS: Three ways are far from my favorite kind of match, but you put two of the most charismatic wrestlers of all time along with a fine utility man like Rhino, you are going to get something really worth watching. I just love watching Eddie move, even in a minor key house show match like this he just exudes something. It is like watching Prince or Richard Pryor, really that kind of kinetic star power was supremely rare. Cena has it in smaller doses, but this was before Cena was Cena really. I did like his squat press suplex, and he didn't look out of his depth in there with Eddie. Rhino was shaped like a cardboard box, and I always enjoyed him bouncing around like a Box Troll.

Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker

MD: It's hard to ignore the complaining from the fans. All of the heat here was ultimately on Vince, and yes, the match did come alive in that back third when he was involved. Before that, though it was more of a traditional WWF cage match, lacking hate, lacking blood, not nearly enough violence, with a lot of transitions and spots based around trying to escape the cage, peppered with good use of the cage to do things their size wouldn't usually allow and a few bits of matwork that you know Taker was excited to be able to work with Brock. Vince brought so much energy and excitement relative to the actual wrestlers, which is weird to think considering how the entire world seems to buzz when Brock is in a ring now.

PAS: These guys had an all time great Hell in the Cell match around this time. This wasn't that, but these guys do match up really well. Brock is such a freak athlete and even on simple bumps is just flying around the ring. They also laid in their shots which is really what you want from Matt is right about the match really picking up when Vince comes in. Vince can really emote to the last row, and takes some big bumps for an old man with a lot of money. I really loved his post match celebration only to get ripped by Taker. Fun stuff, although it really could have used the plasma which livened up the Hell in the Cell.

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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 17: The Moth and the Butterfly

TL: Oh my God, the opening cinematic with Aerostar telling Melissa he's seen the end of everything was extremely bad. Cringey bad. Like the SNL guest who can't read the cue cards off camera bad. Melissa had to have been fed every line she said. Aerostar, bless his heart, is doing what he can with this.

XO Lishus/Joey Ryan/Ivelisse vs. Paul London/The White Rabbit/El Bunny

ER: The return of Mascarita Sagrada to LU can only be a good thing, and Killer Kross finally makes a TV match, a fun late addition to the fed. This was a jump up from last week's trios match. The Rabbit Tribe is a fun stable and the mix of London/Sagrada/Kross is a twisted WAR team that totally works. Sagrada vs. XO Lishus was not a match I realized I wanted, but damn was it fun as hell as it was happening. Paul London bumps around for Ivelisse as well as any man in the fed has, a nice recovery for her after a sloppy performance last week. We got a huge London dropkick to the floor and a Sagrada stopped momentum dive to Ivelisse that somehow looked good. And they did a fun thing all match long by having Kross glower from the apron, with it practically a known conclusion that he was just going to end things the moment he stepped into the match. He did, and they finished on an awesome visual, Kross choking out Joey Ryan with a mandible claw, wearing gimmicked gloves with bloody fingers, like he was gouging into Ryan's esophagus.

TL: I'm stoked to see what Kross does here as the White Rabbit. Mascarita and Paul bring it more often than not, but Kross is here to be brooding and explosive (supposedly). The London unitard/powder white face paint combo is the right kind of weird. Ivelisse getting the hot tag here was certainly a choice. XO LIshus and Sagrada paired off somewhat nicely, and Sagrada just in general came off really well here. One of the better examples of his size not being played up as something of a detriment. I agree that the match-ending mandible claw visual was awesome, and shows how presence and intent goes a long way. The stuff surrounding this was fine, but the Kross payoff was about as good as it's gonna get. It's so weird that they bring him in now with only a few weeks to go and he goes over that strong, but my thought is they take the trios titles...and then the company folds? Sigh.

Killshot vs. Son of Havoc

ER: So I forgot what had been going on between Killshot and Son of Havoc, or if they even had anything, but Striker tells me this is a big match so I'll go with it. They did work it as if it were more important than the #1 contender's match last week, so maybe this is a big deal. They use way too much sound sweetening, but there was good stuff here. Son of Havoc hits a big tope and he's always landing too close to the Temple steps, and I could see these two stepping up and having a fun mask match. They felt like they had big match formula down in a good way here, even if I don't like some of their offense.

TL: Seeing Strickland as Isaiah Scott now in NXT allows him to show off some more personality but the offense still doesn't work with me yet. He needs to tighten things up a bit, and this match doesn't bode well for two guys who like to try stuff that come off incredibly choreographed. And while this did have hints of that, they didn't try to do as much as I thought! It at least had good intentions, and I thought for sure there was going to be a few spots that got too cute. This was fine. And now we get to see it again as an apuestas. THAT'S probably going to be when they get too cute and I yell and scream, but whatever.

TL: Moth gets some promo time and looks way more comfortable in pre-taped segments than with a live mic. Reklusa is a great wrestling name for Chelsea, too.

No DQ: Marty The Moth Martinez vs. Mariposa

ER: This was great, easily one of the best LU matches in this cursed season. I think we'll have to do an actual ranked Season 4 Top 10 matches list when we're done with this. There's a strong chance that I won't have anything from this season on our MOTY List, and there have been strong representatives from the other 3 seasons. There were many reps from season 1, several from season 2, less in season 3, but none so far 17 episodes in to season 4. This came damn close, a really fun and violent brawl with Mariposa taking a cruel beating and firing back with some inventive comebacks. We built up to a couple of very strong nearfalls, more effective than anything I can remember this season. Martinez really beats her up, and I think it actually worked better because they have been presented as having a weird relationship for their entire time in LU. They've established that we could really expect these two to treat each other however, so the intergender thing worked for it. Mariposa took a great beating and bled, got slammed into walls and even powerbombed on the floor! Her comebacks were logical and violent, at one point burying Moth in about 15 chairs, all throwing hard at him, and late in the match she punts him right in the balls as payback for his shot to the crotch at the beginning of the match. I get the Reklusa interference (and love the name too) but I was enjoying the match so much that I was hoping they'd build to something more special for a finish. But this was good, and the postmatch beating Marty gave her felt edgier than LU has felt in awhile. Fans are super hot for the Moth/Pentagon title match, and even though Pentagon is probably the guy I'm least interested in watching on this current roster, I am now foolishly excited for that match.

TL: Oh HELL YES. MORE CHEERLEADER MELISSA. Low key, she's been one of the best match for match performers in the show's history, and I'm stoked to see her get a showcase match here. The start was great, the headbutt from Mariposa, the low blow, the vicious beatdown and mask ripping in the corner by Marty, Mariposa flying into the stands and then SHE BLEEDS ON THE CHAIR SHOT. And then Martinez whips her headfirst into the table like a goddamn madman and this has my attention pretty easily from the get go. Marty then powerbombs her into the grate and then sits out on the floor with it; a sequence that looks kinda blah in other matches, but because of the carnage on the outside so far, really fits in as Marty dominating her early on. They're going for it and it's like they woke this show up a bit. And then the madness of that chair pileup spot during the Mariposa comeback, and Vampiro literally jumping for joy as Mariposa rains down two dozen or so thrown chairs on Marty. I can't get over how much this rules, to be honest. When she set up the chair, I thought she was gonna go crazy and hit the Kudo Driver through it, but the Samoan Drop was nasty as all hell, too. Amazing near falls in this match on her two attempts. Then Marty retains with Pentagon's Fear Factor to retain after Reklusa interference to rub it in. Spectacular stuff, an absolute burst of energy on a show that has long needed it, easily the best match this season. Mariposa remains one of my favorite wrestlers in the history of the show, and even though for whatever reason they didn't give her much to work with in-ring, she absolutely crushed it every time she was given an opportunity to shine. Marty is gonna die for us in the Cero Miedo match (let's be honest: he ain't topping Vampiro from the first one) and that will be fun but man, even without spoilers, it's easy to see how things are going to end up. Five more episodes to go...

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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 8: The Ranks of the Reptiles

TL: Vampiro (and Striker) Fashion Update: Alumni of perhaps the worst frat ever, and that covers some ground. I have no idea why they decided an announce team needed letterman jackets, but here we are, with an old corner and an overweight defensive end reliving the glory days.

Daga vs. "The Darewolf" PJ Black

ER: This was one of those matches that got a lot of time, and was instantly forgotten the moment it was over. Both guys are okay but are lifeless. I forget why Daga is one of the lizard people, but what immediately struck me as strange about this match was that Black was clearly working as heel, while Daga was getting the babyface comebacks. This was the case in the Mundo/Vibora match, and I get that Worldwide Underground are heels....but the other team are LIZARD PEOPLE. There has not been a single piece of science fiction literature where trusting a race of lizard people has lead to prosperity. LU keeps making things so much more shades of grey, that we're now rooting for Lizard People over a group of people who are just vaguely dickheadish. I thought a lot of Black's flying looked bad here, a lot of it being rejected AJ Styles offense with distance not figured out. That quebrada DDT rarely looks good, and there was a funny spot where Black goes for a springboard moonsault off the top, Daga moves a few inches, and Black misses him by a couple feet. Daga is like the least memorable "That kind of guy" in wrestling. I've watched a couple dozen Daga matches, and damned if I can remember watching a couple dozen Daga matches. That guy is wallpaper, but wallpaper that does a couple fast rope running spots and some kick combos. The moments I liked best here were when Black was grounded, and just landing decent punches, nice forearms smashes, and eyepokes. That kind of stuff looks good, he does it well, and it's far more interesting than seeing that stupid as hell sunset flip reversal of a top rope rana, or seeing Daga take the most scenic trip possible to roll into a crucifix submission. This kind of thing is one of my least favorite things.

TL: A minute into the match, Black misses his quebrada, but doesn’t really sell it, just stays on his hands and knees waiting for Daga to hit the ropes and dropkick him. And it’s not edited. There’s a lot of smooth cutaways to awkward camera angles to hide some missteps, but even then, it’s not enough to save it. Daga is truly lucha Noam Dar, an elite athlete with good looking offense who has very little clue to put on a cohesive wrestling match. At least Dar is good on Twitter. Everything in this match seemed like a chore. The finish was overly elaborate. The postmatch was…whatever. Striker calls either Morrison or Black Mike Trout. Pretty sure Kobra messed up on her promo. That sure was a 10-minute wrestling segment. I kinda want an oral history of that segment because I guarantee the editing process on that whole thing is probably the toughest job in the history of the show.

And now after the match The WU clears the ring like total babyfaces and then are portrayed in the promos after as the good guys, which, again, makes sense because the other people are an evil LIZARD TRIBE. It's a having cake and eating it situation. A lot of WU work better as heels, and they are heels, and a lot of the lizards aren't good at working heel, so they have naturally worked face against WU...it's just that none of it actually makes sense.

ER: I really wouldn't mind a return of ghost Big Ryck. We really only saw him against smaller flippy guys, and it would be cool to see him take on some of the bigger LU dudes. Only as a ghost, I guess.

TL: Mack apparently has never ridden Pirates of the Caribbean to prepare him for seeing Big Ryck’s skull (with a cigar sticking out of it, no less; where’s the damn crow perched atop it?) Although him saying, “Damn, woman. They need to put a bell on you or something!” when Katrina appeared got a chuckle out of me.

The Rabbit Tribe vs. Killshot/Son of Havoc/The Mack

ER: I really liked the Rabbit Tribe portions of this, but at a certain point it became the Killshot show and it didn't grab me the same. Remember what I've said this season about how they seem to be focusing on the guys I like least? That's definitely a running theme. I guess that theme has always been around in LU - we got an awful lot of triumphant Sexy Star moments - but this season seriously feels like you can take my "least want to see this guy featured" performer in any given match, and that's the guy that's getting gushed about by Striker. There's just too much pout and pomp to make Killshot work for me, and an reliance on strikes that only work with classic LU sound sweetening. Killshot was by far the most featured guy of the champs, though Havoc hit a nice dive down the stretch, Mack hit a big ol' bullfrog splash. London and Saltador looked great though. London is fully reenergized, throwing everything he has explosively, snapping kicks and adding in a headbutt, missing as big as he hits. Saltador is so smooth and always pulls out a new trick, and I loved his fast tope con hilo here. Really this fed just needs to turn into a kick punch fed. That would be more edgy than stacked tower powerbomb spots in 2018.

TL: Vampiro with an all-time out there call in this match, going all “Gangs of New York” references and then talking about how Mala Suerte is a vegan and that’s why he’s moving around so well. Then he tries to rename a Samoan Drop. Then he and Striker plug Modelo. London’s outfit has a sparkly codpiece. How does THAT not come up? Don’t know why we need a Tower of Doom spot in 2018 still. Don’t know why we need Killshot getting featured when Mack is right there. Mala Suerte at least throwing some sweet shots. Saltador with a nice somersault plancha. London, as per usual, bumps around well. Nice Havoc tope. HEAVY as hell Mack splash. Killshot steals the pin and I’m supposed to care, I guess. Sure. Reaaallllly struggling not to just keep pushing the fast forward button.

Cage/King Cuerno vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: I really didn't need to see Pentagon working a 0.8 vintage HHH match. Pentagon would have had to win this thing for him to be working full Haitch, but he is just not a squash match worker who looks credible against these two. Hats off especially to Cage for stumbling around the ring getting into perfect position for everything, taking a lunatic flipping piledriver, taking a slingblade on his neck, catching a flip dive perfectly, and Cuerno was right there with him. I think Cuerno is the only guy I've ever seen manage to drop on his head while taking a backcracker. Pentagon does look back, he just doesn't look as good as either of the two guys he was mostly having no problems handling. My favorite moment of the match might have been Cuerno throwing a nice low knee in the corner while the ref wasn't watching, but damn Cage throwing Pentagon into a Cuerno kneelift would be a great Destruction Crew type finisher that would result in a million dollar jobber payout. There was plenty of cool stuff here on the Cuerno/Cage side of things, but MAN am I not wanting any more steps towards Triple Penta.

TL: Jeeeesus. Pentagon handling Cage like he did was a bit hard to swallow, and now he’s in a damn handicap match with Cuerno? This is truly Kenny Omega IWGP Champ level-stuff here. Just right down our throats without even a tap on the top of the head to prepare us. Penta at least isn’t lazy in this, but he also isn’t enthralling, either. One of my favorite things in wrestling is when makeshift tag teams find a way to throw out some good double team offense, and yeah, that lift into the knee was great stuff. I think if Penta had won this, I would have asked Eric if we could have skipped ahead to the point where he lost the belt, spoilers be damned.

TL: Eric no-selling the ending skit, which is Mundo dressed like Indiana Jones, saying how much he hates snakes, and then going to the Snake Pit to take on the Reptiles, where Taya cuts off the head of the Luchasaurus. This is so unbelievably bad that it’s probably the best skit in LU history, too. For THIS episode to end THIS way is either the world’s biggest heat check or the writing team crossing the last crazy idea they had off their list and tapping out. Guess this is the Year of Murder on Lucha Underground. Man, I miss Pindar.

ER: So what happened, was I sent my draft to Tim but accidentally didn't copy the part where I actually acknowledged a very tall lizard getting beheaded. Go figure, that Vibora has the best couple appearances of his career, and now he's dead. All the babyfaces on this show seem fine with murder at this point, why didn't any of them have these flexible morals when Sexy Star was still around? Also, can someone murder Pentagon? I'm tired of seeing him.


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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 6: Break the Machine

TL: Vampiro Fashion Update: Substitute teacher who heard you really liked Neil Degrasse-Tyson’s “Cosmos,” but also believes the world is flat.

Paul London vs. Dezmond X

ER: This was a good enough parkour thigh slap match, although I think it's odd they didn't do any kind of immediate follow up on London possibly killing Son of Havoc's best friend. I also thought it was silly to have London lose so easily to Xavier, even with Rabbit Tribe interfering. Savage LSD soaked murderers should get at least a little protection. London was really amusing in this, bumping around as fast as he ever has, none of his boy's interference working, missing hard leaping avalanches, leaning into jumping kicks from Xavier, always looking like he's struggling to keep up. Xavier was fine, but LU always has a few of him around, I would rather see more resurgent London.

TL: I was thinking about guys like Desmond X and a lot of it has to do with that his style is now the norm on the indies. Guys who are in that 150-200 pound range, have athleticism, maybe does one spot different than other guys of his ilk, but don’t have anything that stands out in a way that’s a cut above anyone like it. That seems really basic and obvious to some, but that’s kind of the issue I have: What’s the point of having that type of athleticism if everyone else has it? I’ve been hyping 205 Live all year long, and a lot of it has to do with the fact that the guys on that show have figured out how to co-exist in ways that don’t seem redundant to other folks on the show. Anyways, as I wrote this, we got to the finish where Desmond reverses a Dodon into a roll-up to win the medallion, but there wasn’t much that he did that made me feel like he made an impact. Also, how does London not come out with blood-stained clothes, man? Huge missed opportunity.

ER: The Papa Cueto stuff is suuuuuuuuuper garbage you guys. Any mic time from him is an automatic pass. BUT he gives us an impromptu battle royal with all the Gift of the Gods people, so I can't be all that grouchy. But the battle royal is only a couple minutes long and not much. Muertes press slammed Ivelisse onto Cuerno on the floor. All the eliminations came quick until we were left with Havoc and Mack, and Havoc eliminated himself with a tope con hilo, because he values friendship. That was pretty pointless, as there were many ways we could have gotten to the "somebody taken out of Gift of the Gods". Hopefully this puts Muertes into something more interesting than a scramble match.

TL: If Papa Cueto has been around for over 40 years like he said, you’d think he’d learn how to speak in a way that didn’t make me want to change the channel. Eric and I are calling a battle royal for the first time ever at PPW’s 4thanniversary show in November, and we are both as excited as you could expect considering Eric’s love for battle royals and my ability to win battle royal pools at his birthday parties, so anytime you get folks going over the top for anything, we’re gonna love it. The kitsch that Papa brings to the table was funny for maybe two shows or so, but seeing it every show for what will be like…what, 10 months’ worth of shows? Good lord. Like how Mil came off here: Got almost everyone out, and by doing so, was the odd man out because Mack didn’t think he could hang. Mil should be in the title picture anyways, so doing this match seemed a step below him, so I’m fine with this. Now let Mack win and strap him already!

Vibora vs. Johnny Mundo

ER: I went from not liking this, to kind of checking out on this, to enjoying it by the end. Vibora had a really great ring clearing run-in a couple weeks ago, looking the best he's looked on LU. Here he started off back to slow luchasaurus, working a plodding move for move match with Mundo that felt like it wasn't really going anywhere. Then Mundo hit an insane looking tumbleweed to the floor into Kobra Moon, crazy looking spot. That got my attention. But by this time more lizards were coming in and more Worldwide Underground were getting involved, it was feeling too Attitude Era, and Mundo overshot his twisting moonsault as he always does, and Vibora got an unexpected kickout. I don't know why I got more interested in the match then, but I did. It doesn't make sense to me, as I wasn't digging the match, so you'd think the match going longer would be bad news, but the kickout was well done and worked. Now, it was certainly weird that at this point the lizard clan were clearly the tecnicos, and seeing tecnico luchasaurus trying silly Burning Hammer variations, or take a reverse rana, or kick a chair out of Mundo's hand was fun, and Mundo's headkick parkour was working. I do wish Vibora showed some of the energy that he showed in his big moment a couple weeks ago, but he was definitely connecting with the crowd here. They won me over, wasn't expecting it.

TL: I’ve been all about Vibora’s extended offensive showing, so as long as he isn’t out here just doing the usual big guy offense, I’ll be into it. And sure enough, after Johnny’s good start, Vibora gains control and starts on offense and I’m digging it! Last season, Vibora was easily the most skippable guy probably in the entire fed, and now I’m out here digging what he brings to the table. Super strange, man. That Johnny dive was absolutely nutso, a no-look somersault plancha to his periphery. Really insane stuff, one of those spots to remind you Johnny is still amazingly athletic. The Worldwide Underground/Reptile Tribe stuff was okay, I guess, but I also was digging what happened leading up to it, so I didn’t feel like I needed to see it. Weird to have this type of chicanery-filled match when it isn’t the main event, too, but I have to hand it to them as they worked it rather well. Vibora got to show off his offense (He’s not a seven-footer, but that offense is nuts for a guy his size, still), and that finish was CHOICE. I’m a huge sucker for Akira Taue’s super nodowa, and here Johnny takes it off a damn springboard. I loved this showing from Vibora, what a damn turnaround for him.

ER: The XO Lishus Flashdance workout with Jack Evans spying his competition from around the corner clearly looked like something that Ted Cruz would have open in a tab, but Lishus really comes off like a potential star. The Ricky Mundo talking doll stuff is too try hard, but I liked his interaction with Evans.

TL: I don’t get why you feel the need to give someone a doll, but Jack Evans can make literally everything work, and XO’s got the stuff to really break out. I get this is a means to the end of Evans and Angelico rejoining, but still, too much goofiness here, even with Jack selling his ass off for Ricky's doll nonsense.

Cage vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: I wanted more out of this one, and that's always going to be the case in Pentagon matches now that he seemingly takes 75% of them. He's picked a lot of the worst offense to make up his repertoire, the slingblade and backcracker variations all need to disappear, and when he's up against someone with super cool offense like Cage it just doesn't play well. It feels like all the people I want to win this season are being used as cannon fodder for guys I don't like. The stuff around ringside was good, some rough falls on the temple steps and over the handrail, bumps into chairs and Cage thudding nicely when taking the slingblade. But in-ring it's mostly Pentagon, and not very interesting. The package piledriver was impressive, but this just isn't the horse I want to see backed.

TL: I can’t get over Pentagon, who is maybe 5’9” (listed at 5’11”, my ass), going basically eye to eye with Cage here. The mask tying part is really good stuff, but like Eric said, Penta getting so much offense seems a bit much considering who he’s up against. Cage has barely shown that even a guy lie Muertes can do much against him, but Penta going 50/50 with him, especially with how Cage is portrayed, seems too try hard. Never need to see a damn Canadian Destroyer again, but yeah, two of those and the Fear Factor seem about right to put Cage down, I guess? Super push for Penta is officially questionable now, especially when Cage gets to get his heat back afterwards, too. Penta already beat him clean in like seven minutes; what good does him being able to stop the arm breaking do? Should have stopped the pinfall from happening, man.


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 36: The Rise of the Ring Announcer

ER: I really liked the opening Melissa Santos/Fenix segment, a lot. It came off like an updated take on Girlfight or something. The prior romantic scenes between Fenix/Santos came off silly, this came off downright steamy, like the George Clooney/Jennifer Lopez scenes in Out of Sight, or the Timothee Chalamet/Armie Hammer scenes in Call Me By Your Name. I thought their body language was really strong, loved the interplay of submissions, loved the sparring and grappling as metaphor for relationship dynamics, that gentle hair flop onto Fenix's face, thought all of it worked tremendously well. Now, if you think of it out of a vacuum it gets weirder, as you realize that Melissa Santos is going to be in the ring wrestling for the first time ever and they only announced it at the beginning of the episode where that was happening, and then you start thinking "Wait these two are locking in these tight go behinds and she's letting her hair seductively flop all over Fenix's face and...she hasn't even seen his face? This all seemed pretty intimate. It feels like they've been hanging out. And this whole time, during meals, during dates, during post training showers...Fenix has not removed that mask? How terrible must that mask smell?? Santos has let herself grow dangerously, emotionally close to a man who may have a Monster energy tattoo on his forehead for all she knows. But that's what thinking gets you. Follow your heart. The segment was good.

TL: I can’t even begin to top what Eric just said so my only addition to this, whether it was good editing or camera cuts or what have you, is that Santos looked like she could go!!! I all of a sudden am into whatever that tag match is gonna be. This was one of the best examples of female empowerment the show has ever portrayed because this was natural as opposed to shoved down our throats like Sexy Star was. Santos came off as a big deal with this, which is what wrestling promos are supposed to do!

Dante Fox vs. Texano

ER: I liked this more than I expected, and it's true that Fox is typically more interesting when he's against more of a power base than another athletic flipper. Texano can get really lazy during routine moments, looking like a somnambulist going through simple sequences like a lazy clothesline/back elbow sequence, but he excels here at making Fox look strong. When a guy throws a lazy clothesline you wouldn't expect him to throw himself into a crucifix bomb, and Texano is good at working around fast Fox sequences, like all of the stuff on the apron that eventually lead to the run-up-ringpost moonsault. The match was a good Worldwide length of 5-6 minutes, and even though it got too move trade-y down the stretch I was pleasantly surprised overall. Famous B botches (in storyline) the ending and calls Texano the winner, so Dario sets up B vs. Texano for next week. B says his arm is still broke from Pentagon and Dario FINALLY gets a classic Dario line in (feels like it's been WAY too long) when he says "Well then it looks like it will be a...handicap match!" Pure gold. Dario hasn't felt fully "Dario" this season, and comes off really ineffective and less the all powerful manipulator. That line was needed.

TL: Striker makes a “Clerks” joke (“I’m not even supposed to be here today”) because of Dante and not only does it make me feel old but reminds me that Kevin Smith almost died mere days ago. I thought this was alright, but not a standout or anything. Fox doing a faceplant on an enzuigiri was amusing and then became even moreso when he just went back on offense after taking a bump that looked like it would have killed him. I’ve talked about how Texano has basically looked disinterested ever since when he first came to LU with Alberto Del Rio and was used to put him over not only in LU, but in AAA, so this really does feel like he’s collecting a paycheck at this point. Agree with the line usage, but in Dario’s defense, he was in jail, man. He’s seen some shit. Just not the same guy anymore.

Marty "The Moth" Martinez/Mariposa vs. Fenix/Melissa Santos

ER: Still really surprised that this match wasn't announced at all in advance. Do they advertise? Maybe they advertise and this was announced. It feels like a pretty big match within the LU universe. And it was really fun, although after all the wins and big moments they gave to Sexy Star it's ridiculous that they can't give Santos a good moment. Moth has been licking and rubbing on her for a couple seasons now, and while she's a non-wrestler that never stopped Sexy Star from wrestling. Give her a fucking pinfall, who are we protecting here? Anyway Fenix works a nice match against the two, including hitting an actual good looking Lethal Injection and hitting a wild twisting dive to the floor. Santos getting into the match was a great moment, with Moth running into a perfectly timed high kick from the apron and the gets Irish whipped into elbow smashing Mariposa. The tandem offense didn't look great but the moment was still good.

TL: This WAS announced in advance, but Eric, much like me when I’m trying to burn through reviews, most likely fast-forwarded past the 20-second mention of it from a couple weeks ago by Striker and Vampiro. So…what I’m trying to say is that Eric made the right decision in skipping past how this match got announced in the first place. Striker says Fenix has a “legendary mask” like he’s Atlantis or something. Mariposa is so sudden with her offense, it’s amazing to think she’s been doing this for two decades. One thing in addition to Melissa doing the job in this match: There’s now absolutely no doubt that Marty is gonna lose. Had Melissa gotten a pin on Mariposa, at least you could have seen a more level playing field. Melissa’s offensive moments were definitely cool, but the way this ended was a bit too much.

ER: We get a rundown of the epic card for the 4 episode (!) Ultima Lucha extravaganza, which should make for plenty of fun. Although how absolutely ridiculous does Ivelisse vs. Catrina look at this point?? The last Ivelisse match aired 6 months before this episode, and Catrina has never wrestled in the fed. Does anyone watching even remember why they made that match?

TL: It’s a huge card, but to be honest, I’m really only looking forward to the main event, the cage match, and the Fox/Killshot match. There’s gonna be a lot of filler for me to get into.

Paul London vs. Mala Suerte vs. Saltador vs. Cortez Castro vs. Drago vs. Son of Havoc vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: This was a pretty cracking spotfest, one of the best Drago performances in awhile, a continuation of Paul London as an extremely relevant wrestler after a few years in the woods, some great Saltdaor stuff, just a ton of fun. Drago was the centerpiece of this whole thing, either tying things together and finding things to occupy time. I loved him sprinting across the ring after London leading to London doing his bananas springboard tope en reversa to the floor. he easily could have just stood there doing nothing since London was going to do the spot anyway, this made things feel more immediate. Saltador got some nice moments and I especially loved him getting backdropped into London (who was slumped in the corner). We got a couple big dives, everybody moved in and out of it smoothly, a couple nice saves, just a fun spotfest. We do get a dumbo ending with Havoc and Pentagon getting simultaneous pinfalls, but Dario comes out to announce a ladder match between the two, which is fine.

TL: I like that this match was basically laid out like an atomicos or a cibenertico, as it never really let up and gave everyone some shine. If you’re gonna do a damn seven way, you might as well take advantage and sprint. And yeah, they sprint, big time. London looks great in this match, like a true Droog. I wish he would talk shit in Cockney gibberish slang between moves. But my guy in this match? Saltador. All his offense looked crisp as all hell. He had this great springboard legdrop that looked snug when it landed and he had a great dive. Also looked great taking down Pentagon to start. I don’t like the ending either, a true bait and switch bullshit ending, but we got to see Dario yell “LADDER MATCH!” in a way that made me smile. He must have known tapings were winding down, man. He went for it in this episode.

ER: I love all the backseat of a limo scenes with Dario, and they're only better with Godfrey. I don't know who they can get to be the cigar smoking boss, but considering the programming on El Rey can we PLEASE make it Fred Williamson? We all know everyone in power is a rich old white man, so LU needs to flip the script and present us a rich old black man as the one in charge. If it's Fred Williamson I will happily go back and watch every second of every single Sexy Star moment, and not complain.

TL: Fred Williamson is awesome, but considering he’s done voiceovers for WWE highlight packages before, I’d look at the budget and just not pull ANY punches: KEITH. DAVID. MAKE IT HAPPEN, CHAVO. I NEED Keith on this show, man. Also, I love how in the span of two mintues, Dario adds two more matches I’m actually fine with for Ultima Lucha in the three-way and the ladder match. He might be getting it back just in time for the biggest show of the year, baby.


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 34: Career Opportunities

ER: Slapbak is pretty much the house band at this point. Vampiro is trying to bang the girl in Slapbak, isn't he. Future Lucha Underground champion: Girl from Slapbak.

TL: Slapbak is no Tsunami Bomb, man. I’m all about Lucha Underground champion Emily Whitehurst, man. And then have Kristin McRory, mega-babyface, come after her for the belt. She can even be Agent M! This concludes our Petaluma, CA Phoenix Theater-based punk rock references for this review.

Drago vs. The Mack

ER: I thought Mack was really great in this. His armdrags and rollthroughs were really impressive, his throws look great, his demeanor is impressive. This is probably a really obvious observation, but this match just really opened my eyes to how underutilized Mack has been in LU. I know we've seen him used in higher profile spots, but we've mainly seen him as Sexy Star's best bud, and playing second fiddle to Sexy Star is just way below his level. The way he carried himself in this match made him feel bigger than most guys in the fed. I thought the ending was about as weak as you can get, though, with Drago hitting a dashed off kick combo and winning with his sloppiest ever rolling crucifix.

TL: A Mack showcase match that ends with seriously weak shenanigans to end the match leaves a sour taste in my mouth, no matter if he gets his heat back in the end. It’s obvious that he has basically found his niche as he has a true confidence to him that he didn’t have before. I have absolutely no idea how he hasn’t gotten any other ways to shine since the Johnny Mundo feud, and that’s one of the issues with such heavily pre-produced TV. You can’t really change things up midseason like that. Too bad. It’s almost like they have to wait until Season 4 to do something with him, and there, it might be too late.

Five-O Street Fight: Joey Ryan vs. Cortez Castro

ER: I'm already unexcited about this match, and almost immediately Striker has to turn it into a political statement, just wanting to make sure those boys in blue know that "some of us" really appreciate what they do for us. What a piece of shit. Vomiting all over a show with shoehorned references and blatantly overscripted jokes is one level of dogshit, but outing yourself as an All Lives Matter asshole is an even deeper ditch. I will just mute Striker for the rest of this. On mute these two do a pretty great job with a pretty goofy concept. I mean the idea that Dario just lets Castro still wrestle after finding out he is a cop trying to bring him down is just ridiculous. Dario has had far lesser people murdered just for not winning a wrestling match. But they make a body cavity spot more amusing than I would have thought, Joey breaks a riot shield with his head, Castro misses a crossbody and crashes through a riot squad guy, they do a well done missed sledgehammer shot into a cop car, Joey gets hot coffee dumped down his trunks, Castro smartly uses a riot shield to give him stronger shoulderblocks (I mean that really is a smart spot), a bunch of not-overly-clever moments. I actually think this was the best of the non-Muertes props fights in the series history, and I was NOT expecting that on paper.

TL: Cortez Castro being billed as from “The Streets” is laughably bad. Then Striker says his piece on respecting the police and I really want to reach through the TV and slap the taste out of his mouth. As the only one who watched this match with audio working, I can only add that the racial undertones of a Latino/Caucasian matchup surrounded by “police” on the outside was alluded to on commentary, and I’m ready to fast forward. Screw a mute. Vampiro asks Matt what he’d do in this match and I almost expect him to say, “Ask a cop to help.” Oh, wait. THEY HAVE SIRENS ON TOP OF THE RINGPOSTS. I’M LOSING IT. The setting for this match is such a damper on the match itself that it’s hard to really review it. Then Striker says he wishes folks would fight more in person than on Twitter and I’m out on this. Thankfully, we’re coming to the end of this one, and the match starts being louder than Striker on commentary. Lot of simple stuff looking really good. WHY DOES THE RAT COP WIN???? This was sure something else. I don’t know if I enjoyed it as much as Eric did on mute, which means I’m making terrible life choices.

The Rabbit Tribe vs. Matanza

ER: I would really love a London/Matanza singles match given 10-12 minutes. This was more messy than that made up match would have been, but that's to be expected in a 3 on 1 match where 3 of the people are on LSD. Cobb isn't really a bulldozer in the same way Andre was, so I don't think 3 on 1 is a situation that plays to his monster strengths. 1 on 1 throwing a guy around looks much cooler. He's already a shorter guy (though obviously stocky as hell) so 3 on 1 tends to dwarf him. I did really like the Tribe's rabid rapid rabbit dropkicks in the corner, just all running in on top of each other throwing dropkick after dropkick. It looked like a video of a bunch of bunnies just jumping all over each other in a pen. Still, I wish they gave London more of a platform to shine. After his quality big bumping miracle work in the year and a half long Cueto Cup, I think he's someone who could really shine when motivated. Give him goof off leash, and he'll take it and run. Treat him like an actual guy and he may still work big.

TL: Some cute stuff, but nothing overly great. I think it would have been cool to see this like a gauntlet like the Lotus stuff earlier in the season, but this should have had way more Matanza crazy power stuff to it. Instead, it was oddly more of a Rabbit Tribe showcase. If Festus can get off the craziness and go straight edge, Paul London can, too. Okay, maybe I wasn’t done making Phoenix Theater-related references in this review.

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