Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 20: Seven to Survive

ER: So we came out the other side of the arguable worst episode of the season. We knew there would be roadblocks on the trip to Valhalla. It's just like Lucha Underground to try and make us quit when we're this close, but I'm not falling for it. We're finishing these last 3 episodes. Throw your worst at me!

TL: God, who is Immortan Joe in the realm of LU? I guess it's Matanza? Sammy Guevara actually kinda reminds me of Nux. Jake Strong is a perfect Rictus Erectus. It should be noted that while I do share Eric's feelings of wanting to close this one out, we are only returning to this on the day of a full-on statewide shelter in place due to Big Rona. Yes, the only thing truly driving us back to wanting to watch this show is semi-forced quarantine from a highly contagious pathogen. And the only cure is...wait, a SHOW-LONG SEVEN-WAY MATCH???

King Cuerno vs. Big Bad Steve vs. Hernandez vs. Aerostar vs. PJ Black vs. Jake Strong vs. Dante Fox

ER: And well, this might not have been the worst they could have thrown at me, but it was a show long match prominently featuring a couple guys I wish weren't prominently featured, and I don't think it had the meat to flesh out a show long match. The indisputable best part of the match was Big Bad Steve getting his longest opportunity yet to be Big Bad Steve, although PJ Black becoming a guy who just kicks everyone in the balls was a close second place. Has that been something Black has been doing? I sure don't remember it. Black goes on a run of kicking three guys straight in the balls, which is a smart strategy. PJ must have had some insider scoop to know that those guys had weak balls. Big Bad Steve is not only the best striker in the match, and the best fighter in the match (at one point he starts braining people with a monkeywrench, especially cracking Cuerno), and sadly he shows that he can sell a ball shot better than anyone. He takes a ball kick from PJ Black with as much force as I've ever seen anyone take a ball kick, really came off worthy of finishing a match.

But there was a ton of Jake Strong breaking ankles with his ankle lock, and they debuted one of the stupidest features yet, in the fed's history: Bone Crunching Action! We've sat through a dozen Pentagon arm breaks, never got splintering bone sound effect. But we're here now. Jake Strong's ankle lock has bone crunching action. He crunches Black's ankle, tries to crunch Aerostar's ankle but he is saved, just an ankle crunching machine. Hernandez does silly baby stuff to get eliminated well before anyone else, Fox hits a big springboard inverted 450 onto half a dozen guys who don't catch him, Aerostar hits a dive off a cherry picker that took an eternity to set up, and really the brawl through the crowd might have been the most engaging actual stretch of the match. But there were too few engaging stretches for a match that went the full show, and for what? Does this mean we get a title match of Marty the Moth vs. Jake Strong?? THAT'S what we built to? Who is the babyface in that scenario?

TL: Oh, the best part is that Striker doesn't even hide that it's gonna take the whole show. That seems more like a threat than anything else, because now I have to lock in for probably 45 minutes of a match where I like roughly 2 1/2 guys. And one of those guys is Big Bad Steve, so the other 1 1/2 can be spread out amongst the other six at some point. I don't get how Hernandez is out after like three minutes when you have 40 minutes to fill, but his elimination seemed like a booking decision that was like, "Let's just get this down to even numbers." PJ being all about the nut shots was admittedly amusing; the springboard into the nut shot was inspired shit. The WWECW reunion happens for all of 90 seconds before the campy sound effect ankle breaking sends PJ to ROH. I really can't get a handle on this match in the first 10 minutes. Like they're not sure when to just let it get wild and go hard, and then we get to the King Cuerno bodysuit strip knife-edge chop section and I long for the PJ Black nutshot brigade. The psychology of Aerostar using a forklift to leap onto Big Bad Steve (and Cuerno) is a great piece of business, even if it took too long to set up. At least you get Drago in the construction worker getup (complete with cutouts for the dragon horns). I like bodyslam variants, so Strong's delay and then side throwing slam got a nice reaction from me. Watching Strong base for Aerostar when Big Bad Steve was in the match earlier sure was a choice. 

I'm not completely checked out, but it's so obviously Strong winning this thing. They haven't done enough for me to think there's anything that could be done to stop it. Like, how in the world does Cuerno stand on the outside for two minutes while Fox and Strong lay on the mat? What is that? I almost feel like I should just turn this off. This seems like a pretty damn checked out layout for the last three spots. The ankle lock, the most dangerous sub in the fed, gets shaken off by weak limping from both Fox and Cuerno for big spots. Sure. Big dive off the roof of the entranceway from Fox to land on his ass. He hits a 450, and Strong pulls him off for the pin for some reason. Even Vampiro can't believe it. VAMPIRO. More military references for Fox being tortured while in a submission. Wait, there are ROPE BREAKS? This match is drunk. I don't think this match is worse than last week's show, but it's just 40 minutes of nothing leading to inevitability. But first a stupid three-way knockout spot. I've lost my patience with this match. It shouldn't be like this. They're still going! We finally get to Fox and Strong, Striker reminds us that this is Lucha Under-ground, and then Fox lasts a minute in the ankle lock before tapping. "This is bullshit!", the crowd chants. Yes, it is, but we are also now two episodes away. Ultima Lucha Cuatro awaits us. We're definitely playing out the string. Here's to playing the full schedule.


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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 19: Savagery

TL: Gonna do a little something different while reviewing this: Watching the whole episode while my overly loud dishwasher is running in the background. When you live in a 450 sq. ft. granny unit, sometimes things like this are unavoidable, but also, I much prefer the constant whirr of the dishwasher to at least 95% of the dialogue on this show. And my point is immediately made by the opening segment featuring Cueto and Strong. Another time where AEW not letting Jake talk is a good thing; then again, seeing a known racist have to react positively to a perceived ancient piece of Mexican history is high comedy, as is his idea of manifest destiny with saying the phrase, "This isn't your temple. It's mine!" as he leaves. What a segment. Dishwasher, don't fail me now.


Aerostar vs. PJ Black vs. Hernandez vs. Big Bad Steve vs. King Cuerno vs. Jake Strong vs. Dante Fox

ER: Oh damn we get a battle royal in LU, AND the long overdue return of Big Bad Steve!? Okay Big Bad Steve got eliminated as I was typing that first sentence and I hate this now. This was a pretty bad battle royal. It goes only a few minutes, Steve and Hernandez get eliminated super early the exact same way, people keep showboating on the apron, Dante Fox returns after a year and gets a couple of slippery escapes, whatever. The show is named after Jake Strong, he mush mouthed his way through the opening video with Cueto, we knew who was winning, but that doesn't mean they had to go out and do a battle royal that took as much time as the entrances. Lame.

TL: BIG BAD STEVE BACK IN THE GODDAMN BUILDING. And I'm happy to see Dante back, too, as him going balls to the damn wall with Killshot was worth a return. It's a battle royal, which should make Eric happy. (Arrested Development Narrator: "It didn't.") He likes to do a yearly get together where we blind pick battle royals based on the participants. The last one we did, he chose the Slamboree '98 Cruiserweight Battle Royal to start and I ran away with the entire evening on points, blowing away the field. Can't believe he has me back for it, to be honest. In less than a minute, Big Bad Steve gets to show off why he's a goddamn base god for Aerostar and then throws a fantastic right hand only to get eliminated first. About right. This is obviously a vehicle to get Strong right into the main event. Sad that it has to come at the expense of guys like Fox, who showed out to such an amazing extent that him getting treated like an afterthought here is incredibly puzzling and incredibly sad. And then they make the battle royal pointless by just having a 7-way match for the belt next week. And it sets up a Mundo match later that night? Okay. I know I'm just getting over food poisoning but I still don't get what just happened. On the bright side, guaranteed more Big Bad Steve, baby!!! Dishwasher update: A low rumble, but still loud enough to drown out Striker. A good start.

Killshot vs. The Mack

ER: This was more angle than match, using a first time pairing that could have potentially been interesting, to instead set up an uninspiring Mil Muertes run in. The spear Muertes hits on Mack is arguably the weakest I've seen from him. The match didn't really have time to go anywhere interesting.

TL: This had a couple neat things going for it and then they ended it for the angle, which in itself seemed pointless, especially given how well Mack came off in browbeating Muertes before. This was very much in the vein of those old Attitude-era TV segments where a 2-3 minute match gets thrown away for an angle that didn't need to be expanded upon. Dishwasher update: A couple of louder whirrs every now and then, really digging in deep to get that good clean.

ER: I've gotten so into Sammy Guevara crushing it while playing the lowest man on the totem pole in The Inner Circle that it's now weird to see him as the plucky babyface joining XO and Ivelisse. The trios match should still be good.

TL: The Sammy reveal was fun as he's been one of the only people I've enjoyed since AEW has started up, but holy crap, the inside jokes about Famous B's 7-year contract for an LU talent write themselves. That's the only thing I enjoyed about this. This whole show has been just nothing but promos, really. Dishwasher update: Cleaner than Famous B after that trash can shot.

Jake Strong vs. Johnny Mundo

ER: This is that kind of 2011 pro wrestling vibe that I have absolutely no interest in revisiting, baby! There were some things I liked here, big individual moments, but I don't think it added up to a very good match. Mundo takes some big bumps, including this awful moment where he hit a kick from the apron and managed to fall on the buckles, apron, ring steps, and floor, winding up with his legs over his head. But seconds later he was totally fine. Mundo is such an athletic bumper that he often winds up making bumps absolutely meaningless in a Petey Williams kind of way. And this was certainly a match where no move mattered. Both guys took control at will, no matter what they had just taken. Strong took over after taking a sitout powerbomb on the floor, Mundo took back over after taking a big lariat to the back of the head, both guys just kept popping up whenever necessary. And by the time we get to ankle lock reversals I am praying for death's sweet release. Matanza runs out at the end, there's an obvious blood packet to really plant the flag in this shit sundae, and I am happy it's over.

TL: Johnny just got to walk out in front of 40k+ and work a minute in the Rumble for a big payday and you have to be happy for him to be able to go from a promotion on its last legs (and the husk of Impact!) to being an upper-midcarder for the world's biggest promotion at the drop of a hat. I kept waiting for something to jump out in this match given they know each other pretty well but nothing really made an impact for me outside of Johnny's nuts bumps to the outside. And then they start brawling into the crowd and the sweet, slow, rhythmic churn of my dishwasher soothes me as Morrison decides to turn a wrestling match into a literal parkour demonstration. There was no rhyme or reason to this match. A guy like Strong who has been put over like a world-beater didn't get to look like one here; 50/50 booking is such shit. If a guy is a world-beater, make him one. Have him show a weakness every now and then, but now he's just trading spots with a guy who, while presented as a top guy, is working this like any other match. Just mind boggling to me. It's amazing to me that I'm about to type this but here it is: The Nunchucks Match from earlier this season blows this match out of the water. Strong leaned into everything Mundo threw, so there's that, I guess. This is very much in the Adam Cole/Michael Elgin ROH Title mold and folks, that match style ain't it. It's wild they worked a 15 minute match that led to that ending considering how Strong has been booked but hey, what do I know? Matanza comes out, busts Johnny open, takes Taya on a tour of (Jake Strong's) temple, and then wails away on Mundo as if he was Ralphie finally giving Scott Farkus what for. And as the dishwasher starts to drain out the dirty water for the rinse cycle and steam starts to form, the sweet release of this show finally happens. 45 minutes of my life gone, never to be gotten back, but transcribed in all its hellish nature for you, the reader of this website.


ER: They went from the best episode of the season, to (I think) pretty easily the worst. The wrestling was not good, the angles were not interesting, and this whole thing felt like the ultimate wheel spinner of an episode. This was not the go home show to Ultima Lucha, but it made me much less interested in Ultima Lucha.

TL: Three. More. Episodes.

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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 9: A Match Made in Heaven

ER: This may be an odd question...but was that actually Melissa playing Mariposa in the opening segment with Cueto? Her voice sounded completely different from how I remember her sounding (not merely the absence of her minor speech impediment, her voice just sounded different), and the mask covers enough that I actually have no idea.

TL: Was that…a competent set up for the main event? Like, did they actually lay out the consequences in a cogent manner for us to understand? Wild, man.

Mala Suerte vs. Matanza

ER: So now we've established bunny hop "boings" and speed bags SFX to our LU SFX canon. This was short but nobody died. Suerte hit a great baseball slide dropkick to start, Matanza hit a nice headbutt to cut off bunny hops and hit the Wrath of the Gods. But again, nobody died, which seems important to point out now.

TL: I literally cannot add anything to what Eric said about this match when those SFX were involved. Peak pro wrestling production, that.

Joey Ryan/Jack Evans vs. XO Lishus/Ivelisse

ER: I really liked this, especially as a showcase for Evans and Lishus. I wasn't excited for Joey opposite another woman, but I liked the turn into Joey being a full blown sex addict, just wanting any kind of touch and contact with any human (at minimum, any human). I think him being into getting slammed into XO Lishus' juicy hot ass and liking it is an important thing to happen. Sex addict is far more interesting than overt pervert. Lishus is a ton of fun, a great take on an exotico. The splits legdrop is good, and I also realized with his outfit, butt stuff, splits...he's basically cosplaying as Naomi. That feels like a level of exotico we haven't had in wrestling, an actual drag routine paying tribute to a fan favorite. The cartwheel slap is great with the character, and there was a hilarious moment with he and Evans, where Lishus ducked a clothesline and landed in a crabwalk, Evans overran him with the miss, ran back, but was chased into the corner with a quick burst of crabwalking from Lishus. Evans played it great, the timing was down, a genuinely funny and unique moment played perfectly. They went way too heavy on SFX for Ivelisse, she had a couple weak shots that came off comical with the loud thigh slap sound, but stuff like armdrags and ranas looked fine and she ate Ryan's offense well. Evans is still finding his place without WU, and I hope he's featured more from here now that he's away from WU. But he and Lishus owned here.

TL: I want to be a part of the conversations Joey has had with other folks to try and figure out how he could evolve his character. As Eric said, the climb from pervert to sex addict seems like the natural next step for him and who better to bring it out of him than Lishus, who has the athleticism that makes it look like he can hang with Jack F’n Evans step for step. Evans’ athleticism never ceases to amaze me; his springboard moves look out of control but also look like they kill folks. Yeah, the Lishus/Evans stuff was terrific, which led to the absolutely disgusting finish with the omoplata that really looked like a chokeout as opposed to all the other loosely applied MMA finishes you’d see in wrestling today. Stoked to see this get a longer feud, too. Ryan and Ivelisse were definitely in this match.

Mariposa vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: This was so short and really a nothing match. It was presented as an obstacle for Azteca but he didn't have too much trouble with Mariposa. It's a Lucha Underground update on an old early 90s Wrestling Challenge squash match. In one of those matches the enhancement talent would maybe get a dropkick or a couple elbows that get no sold. In a Lucha Underground squash match the enhancement talent still gets to break out a Kudo Driver moments after taking a huge 450 splash. The times they are a changin'.

TL: Love the foul to start the match during the belt presentation, love the kick to the inside of the thigh even more. Also love how in 2018, a 450 splash and a fucking KUDO DRIVER get 2.9s, but crossing the legs on a rolling prawn hold? Can’t get out of that, no siree. But hey, I’ve never wrestled before, so I don’t understand psychology, I guess.

The Reptile Tribe vs. Worldwide Underground

ER: So Striker says that Vibora is "striking in his absence" meaning nobody else knows about Vibora's death, but you'd think his absence would be focused on a lot more if that was the case. Instead they're just immediately cool with lizard Jeremiah Crane being the replacement. Also, could we have maybe done a little better than Jeremiah Snake? Here are a few off the top of my head with similar vocal patterns: Jereboa Crane, Jereviper Crane, Jereconda Crane. They aren't rhymes, but the syntax is the same as his original name and they roll off the tongue similarly. Or, they could have embraced their ridiculous side and further have their cake and eat it too, and he could have been Janaconda Cobrane. Also, I like that even in a rare 4 on 4 match, Ricky Mandel still isn't good enough to make the cut. I want them do have a 10 man tag to see if he has a shot at getting some playing time.

And I really liked this match. It was the right amount of fun and action, and really the fed should run more 8 man tags. I've gotten tired of their go to singles match style, but throw any 8 people from the roster in a ring and they should all have enough material to work a fun 10 minute match. You get less reliance on kickouts and more reliance on saves at that point, and a well timed save is more exciting to me than a big kickout. We get a ton of big dives, some complicated (like Kobra Moon getting launched into everyone by Jeremiah) and a couple impressive Aerostar ones, and a huge cannonball into everyone by Jeremiah. The pacing was kept brisk, and the whole thing was kept light which is a good thing because serious matches typically feature Striker reading a bunch of lousy copy about the Fates of Worlds and the Calamity of Man. The post-match worked for me too, even though the Macho Man stuff was all really obvious, I loved the Pomp and Circumstance playing while Mundo had Taya up on his shoulder. Taya's reaction to the proposal was good and as I've been wondering the past couple weeks this surely throws WU into full babyface, which isn't a bad twist. I somehow didn't notice the relevance of the episode title, which now seems like it should be saved for the inevitable wedding episode of LU, and I also somehow foolishly never considered a wedding episode for LU. We're well over 100 episodes at this point, and if we actually want to pretend that this is an actual TV series and not wrestling, then we're already into syndication and we're overdue for a wedding and a baby. We've already gotten to the point of the show where it's consistently going downhill from its peak, so now we need a couple of classic ratings poppers!

TL: The graphic leading into this match looks like it was made for an ECW TV main event in 1997, which is terrific. Big wet fart for the return of Crane as part of the Reptile Tribe. Don’t care enough to even make fun of the name. Aerostar wearing the bandana over his mask is as goofy looking as Klay Thompson wearing the bandana during his 14 3-pointer game last week, which means I love it. Vibora had been getting better so I’m a bit sad he’s not a part of this, because this seems like the type of match where he’d really stand out.

More wild atomicos match than I would have thought with this set up, as I figured there would be more pairing off than a whole bunch of dives, but they wanted a frenetic pace from the start. PJ Black’s hot tag that began with a bunch of first week training offense after the springboard was amusing. Nothing like armdrags and shoulder blocks to fire things up. The more I hear “Jeremiah Snake” the more I cringe. He also gets a lot of the match here, which is disappointing. Would have loved to see more Moon and Drago, especially considering Aerostar was brought in specifically because of his past with Drago. Instead, Drago gets to watch Aerostar hit his second ridiculous dive of the match and then take the fall. Postmatch was actually cool for the fakeout, Johnny being magnanimous, and the two-bit Savage aping. It was ELIZABETH who did the “Ooooohh yeah” part, man. C’mon. I’m not sure what wedding day shenanigans will occur to hold it up before it actually happens, but I’ve been entertained by WU skits to the point where I’d at least enjoy it. Can’t remember too many happy RobRod movie marriages, but maybe they’ll make an exception here.

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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 8: The Ranks of the Reptiles

TL: Vampiro (and Striker) Fashion Update: Alumni of perhaps the worst frat ever, and that covers some ground. I have no idea why they decided an announce team needed letterman jackets, but here we are, with an old corner and an overweight defensive end reliving the glory days.

Daga vs. "The Darewolf" PJ Black

ER: This was one of those matches that got a lot of time, and was instantly forgotten the moment it was over. Both guys are okay but are lifeless. I forget why Daga is one of the lizard people, but what immediately struck me as strange about this match was that Black was clearly working as heel, while Daga was getting the babyface comebacks. This was the case in the Mundo/Vibora match, and I get that Worldwide Underground are heels....but the other team are LIZARD PEOPLE. There has not been a single piece of science fiction literature where trusting a race of lizard people has lead to prosperity. LU keeps making things so much more shades of grey, that we're now rooting for Lizard People over a group of people who are just vaguely dickheadish. I thought a lot of Black's flying looked bad here, a lot of it being rejected AJ Styles offense with distance not figured out. That quebrada DDT rarely looks good, and there was a funny spot where Black goes for a springboard moonsault off the top, Daga moves a few inches, and Black misses him by a couple feet. Daga is like the least memorable "That kind of guy" in wrestling. I've watched a couple dozen Daga matches, and damned if I can remember watching a couple dozen Daga matches. That guy is wallpaper, but wallpaper that does a couple fast rope running spots and some kick combos. The moments I liked best here were when Black was grounded, and just landing decent punches, nice forearms smashes, and eyepokes. That kind of stuff looks good, he does it well, and it's far more interesting than seeing that stupid as hell sunset flip reversal of a top rope rana, or seeing Daga take the most scenic trip possible to roll into a crucifix submission. This kind of thing is one of my least favorite things.

TL: A minute into the match, Black misses his quebrada, but doesn’t really sell it, just stays on his hands and knees waiting for Daga to hit the ropes and dropkick him. And it’s not edited. There’s a lot of smooth cutaways to awkward camera angles to hide some missteps, but even then, it’s not enough to save it. Daga is truly lucha Noam Dar, an elite athlete with good looking offense who has very little clue to put on a cohesive wrestling match. At least Dar is good on Twitter. Everything in this match seemed like a chore. The finish was overly elaborate. The postmatch was…whatever. Striker calls either Morrison or Black Mike Trout. Pretty sure Kobra messed up on her promo. That sure was a 10-minute wrestling segment. I kinda want an oral history of that segment because I guarantee the editing process on that whole thing is probably the toughest job in the history of the show.

And now after the match The WU clears the ring like total babyfaces and then are portrayed in the promos after as the good guys, which, again, makes sense because the other people are an evil LIZARD TRIBE. It's a having cake and eating it situation. A lot of WU work better as heels, and they are heels, and a lot of the lizards aren't good at working heel, so they have naturally worked face against WU...it's just that none of it actually makes sense.

ER: I really wouldn't mind a return of ghost Big Ryck. We really only saw him against smaller flippy guys, and it would be cool to see him take on some of the bigger LU dudes. Only as a ghost, I guess.

TL: Mack apparently has never ridden Pirates of the Caribbean to prepare him for seeing Big Ryck’s skull (with a cigar sticking out of it, no less; where’s the damn crow perched atop it?) Although him saying, “Damn, woman. They need to put a bell on you or something!” when Katrina appeared got a chuckle out of me.

The Rabbit Tribe vs. Killshot/Son of Havoc/The Mack

ER: I really liked the Rabbit Tribe portions of this, but at a certain point it became the Killshot show and it didn't grab me the same. Remember what I've said this season about how they seem to be focusing on the guys I like least? That's definitely a running theme. I guess that theme has always been around in LU - we got an awful lot of triumphant Sexy Star moments - but this season seriously feels like you can take my "least want to see this guy featured" performer in any given match, and that's the guy that's getting gushed about by Striker. There's just too much pout and pomp to make Killshot work for me, and an reliance on strikes that only work with classic LU sound sweetening. Killshot was by far the most featured guy of the champs, though Havoc hit a nice dive down the stretch, Mack hit a big ol' bullfrog splash. London and Saltador looked great though. London is fully reenergized, throwing everything he has explosively, snapping kicks and adding in a headbutt, missing as big as he hits. Saltador is so smooth and always pulls out a new trick, and I loved his fast tope con hilo here. Really this fed just needs to turn into a kick punch fed. That would be more edgy than stacked tower powerbomb spots in 2018.

TL: Vampiro with an all-time out there call in this match, going all “Gangs of New York” references and then talking about how Mala Suerte is a vegan and that’s why he’s moving around so well. Then he tries to rename a Samoan Drop. Then he and Striker plug Modelo. London’s outfit has a sparkly codpiece. How does THAT not come up? Don’t know why we need a Tower of Doom spot in 2018 still. Don’t know why we need Killshot getting featured when Mack is right there. Mala Suerte at least throwing some sweet shots. Saltador with a nice somersault plancha. London, as per usual, bumps around well. Nice Havoc tope. HEAVY as hell Mack splash. Killshot steals the pin and I’m supposed to care, I guess. Sure. Reaaallllly struggling not to just keep pushing the fast forward button.

Cage/King Cuerno vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: I really didn't need to see Pentagon working a 0.8 vintage HHH match. Pentagon would have had to win this thing for him to be working full Haitch, but he is just not a squash match worker who looks credible against these two. Hats off especially to Cage for stumbling around the ring getting into perfect position for everything, taking a lunatic flipping piledriver, taking a slingblade on his neck, catching a flip dive perfectly, and Cuerno was right there with him. I think Cuerno is the only guy I've ever seen manage to drop on his head while taking a backcracker. Pentagon does look back, he just doesn't look as good as either of the two guys he was mostly having no problems handling. My favorite moment of the match might have been Cuerno throwing a nice low knee in the corner while the ref wasn't watching, but damn Cage throwing Pentagon into a Cuerno kneelift would be a great Destruction Crew type finisher that would result in a million dollar jobber payout. There was plenty of cool stuff here on the Cuerno/Cage side of things, but MAN am I not wanting any more steps towards Triple Penta.

TL: Jeeeesus. Pentagon handling Cage like he did was a bit hard to swallow, and now he’s in a damn handicap match with Cuerno? This is truly Kenny Omega IWGP Champ level-stuff here. Just right down our throats without even a tap on the top of the head to prepare us. Penta at least isn’t lazy in this, but he also isn’t enthralling, either. One of my favorite things in wrestling is when makeshift tag teams find a way to throw out some good double team offense, and yeah, that lift into the knee was great stuff. I think if Penta had won this, I would have asked Eric if we could have skipped ahead to the point where he lost the belt, spoilers be damned.

TL: Eric no-selling the ending skit, which is Mundo dressed like Indiana Jones, saying how much he hates snakes, and then going to the Snake Pit to take on the Reptiles, where Taya cuts off the head of the Luchasaurus. This is so unbelievably bad that it’s probably the best skit in LU history, too. For THIS episode to end THIS way is either the world’s biggest heat check or the writing team crossing the last crazy idea they had off their list and tapping out. Guess this is the Year of Murder on Lucha Underground. Man, I miss Pindar.

ER: So what happened, was I sent my draft to Tim but accidentally didn't copy the part where I actually acknowledged a very tall lizard getting beheaded. Go figure, that Vibora has the best couple appearances of his career, and now he's dead. All the babyfaces on this show seem fine with murder at this point, why didn't any of them have these flexible morals when Sexy Star was still around? Also, can someone murder Pentagon? I'm tired of seeing him.


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 35: Cien

ER: I cannot believe there has been 100 episodes of this show, and I really can't believe that I have officially written about 100 episodes of this show. My goodness that is a lot of words written about Lucha Underground, with 3 different people. Props to Tim for crossing this threshold with me.

TL: Happy to have been here for the handful I’ve done. Always loved the work Eric, Phil, Matt, and all the other contributors have done on the site. I am definitely stunned that this show made it to 100 episodes in a way. Makes me wonder how many other feds could do 100 episodes of wrestling with such huge variations of quality. Hell, CWF Mid-Atlantic is blowing this out of the water on a regular basis and they’re about to do episode 150.

Sexy Star/Fenix/Cage/Prince Puma vs. Taya/PJ Black/Johnny Mundo/Marty "The Moth" Martinez

ER: This match had a comical amount of "I make your partner do a move to you" goofy mousetrap offense, but I liked it. It was just a 6 minute atomicos match but had a lot to like with all the goofiness happening. I liked all the moments where Mundo uses Taya as operation human shield, like rushing to tag her in when Cage gets into the match, or blatantly throwing her right into a big Cage lariat so that he is in a better position to attack Cage. The double teams were all goofy but they fit well into the match just because they were pulled off seamlessly, with both Puma pulling out some ridiculous combos, a crazy spinkick out of something that started like an armdrag, a big springboard kick, plenty of fun bits. We get a couple good DDTs, both Moth and Puma really took them on the side of their heads, really outside of Moth having to bump around for Sexy Star this was plenty fun. Also looking forward to Crane/Cage if it ends up happening as more than just a backstage beatdown.

TL: So, this is some really basic quibbling with wrestling booking. Okay. You have Fenix in a blood feud with Marty that is building to an apuestas match. Marty starts off the match with Sexy Star. He shows ass and basically has to tumble to his corner for a tag because he can’t handle Sexy Star. So this means, with Fenix going to a standstill with PJ Black in the next section of this match…that Sexy is being booked stronger than all three of them? Really? I just wanted to expand on Eric’s point about Marty bumping around for her because it’s just one of those things that seems really out of place with all the stories they’re trying to tell in this match. When everyone pairs off into the feuds they’re in at the end, it’s really fun, and I dug Puma doing a gainer off Mundo’s springboard kick. Looked really sick. A good little match, if not something that felt rushed.

TL: I’m such a huge fan of the corny-ass backstage segments that LU has. It’s really amazing that they even exist in a universe where Being the Elite is also a thing. I’ll take this overacting over tongue-in-cheek inside references at wrestlers being better than “The establishment” any day of the week. Also, if it becomes a three-way between Muertes/Cage/Crane, I’m in. Just don’t give Crane a bat.

Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: They're keeping the matches to 6-7 minutes this episode, which keeps things fast and avoids bloat. You know you're likely not getting a great match, but you don't get guys working themselves into corners either. I thought this was really fun, even though I'm bearish on Pentagon he's still a really nice base for Azteca, and I loved all of Azteca's crazy height and balance he would display, every time Pentagon would toss him into the air. Him landing on his feet on the top was super impressive, and I loved him getting tossed up onto the stage and running back and immediately hitting a beautiful rana to the floor. Azteca hit a big skytwister press to the floor not long before that, and back in they did some nicely done sexy dance fighting. Pentagon would cut off Azteca when he got too cute (like making him pay for a handspring attempt by hitting a double stomp), and the package piledriver was nicely planted. Azteca gets launched a few times postmatch by Matanza, a sure curse when an employer knows how great you take big throw offense. This episode is nice and brisk.

TL: One of my favorite things in lucha when I first started watching it was Hector Garza’s tornillo. It was so amazingly graceful and also looked like it completely wiped you out when it landed. Azteca hits a great one here, mainly aided by the camera angle, but it also gave me a reason to talk about one of my favorite moves. This is better than most Pentagon matches this season because Azteca’s offense is good and Penta knows how to take it, and Penta can be a good transition guy. Azteca landing on top in an ode to early Rey stuff was awesome, as was Penta hitting the Fear Factor to finish off it. Matanza tossing around people never gets old.

Matanza vs. Rey Mysterio

ER: Good match, as you'd expect. Rey sticks and moves until Matanza sticks him, and then we get a nice long Matanza beatdown, slamming the back of Rey's head into various surfaces, clawing at his eyes, cutting him off with a nice straight leg big boot, Rey tries to tangle him in the ropes and Matanza keeps beating on him with Vader-like full arm blows. The Code Red was a nice comeback and then we go a classic Rey run, big springboard senton and legdrop, big DDT, Matanza gets a chair kicked into his face in nasty fashion a couple times (I wonder how hard front of his mask really is? It doesn't seem pliable but I'm not sure it's protective), and I love Matanza finally just taking Rey out at the knees with the chair. End run was big with a couple large Matanza throws, a nice missed charge into the post, but Rey moonsaulting into the Wrath of the Gods. This match didn't necessarily seem like a huge deal, which is a shame since you had without a doubt the biggest wrestling star in the company versus a murderer who has never been beaten in a straight match, but in a vacuum the two of them matched up predictably well.

TL: Rey’s barrage to start this was fantastic and really made the match have a sense of urgency that can sometimes be missing in LU. Of course, Matanza is a great base for Rey’s offense, including snapping over on a springboard rana with a tight window. The baseball slide Rey bump is one of my favorite lucha bumps ever, right up there with the Estrada bump. Matanza just slamming Rey into whatever he finds appealing is great stuff, just overpowering him in every way possible. The Code Red off the top was nasty as all hell and a great way to get Rey back into it. Why does Matanza need a chair, though???? As Eric said, he’s literally killed a guy. Like he needs a damn chair. The rotating German Suplex is still an awe-inspiring spot even though I’ve seen it done so many times. Cool finish and I liked that Cueto made sure Matanza won. I do think it was treated like a big deal, but it didn’t get the pageantry that you expect from a monumental episode since it was rushed into from the previous match. It was definitely worked like a big match, and I liked the postmatch beatdown with the chair more than the chair stuff during the match due to there being more intent there, but I’ll like anything these two do together, really.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 30: Bloodlines

1. Paul London/Mala Suerte/Saltador vs. Ricky Mandel/Taya/PJ Black

ER: This is just the goofy mess it should have been. Rabbit Tribe kept trying a bunch of silly double teams, with some of them working and some not (which, due to their gimmick, some of their stuff really shouldn't work all the time), but they're approaching it the right way. I usually dislike the "man wrestler turned on by woman wrestler" spots, but I was amused by London diving to get in the way of a potential Taya bronco buster. Maybe it just felt like he fully committed to the spot, really gleefully wanting it. So I suppose charm and committment is the key to making assault funny! I dug Jack Evans' sign ("If I was in the match we would have won by now") and Mala Suerte hits a kind of tornillo dive from the apron over the ringpost. This was fine.

TL: Wait, did Striker seriously say about Paul London, “He took the pill that made him bigger?” Like, he accused him of doing steroids or something? And then he immediately redeems himself by dropping WINK MARTINDALE’S name, which I know popped Eric like it did me. Just wait till I help turn SC into a “High Rollers” blog. We’re really close to becoming a Supermarket Sweep blog, anyways. On to the match, which is indeed a Rabbit Tribe trios match. The aforementioned Taya corner spot sure is something. Jack Evans as a character in a Looney Tunes episode with his signs is right up my alley. Enjoyable to say the least, as Rabbit Tribe has found a way to make the goofiness work. In the postmatch skit, really wish Evans had his whiteboard with him.

2. Jeremiah Crane vs. Mil Muertes

ER: YES! This was the match I was waiting for. After hearing all season from people who attended the tapings that "this season was the craziest yet" I have now spent 29 episodes being mostly disappointed. And it wasn't due to high expectations, the action just seems nowhere near as good as the first season. This match felt like the closest we've come to the best brawls of the series. I just love Mil in these crowd brawls. He's bigger than the guys we typically see moving through the crowds, so these shots from above feel more like helicopter shots of Godzilla wrecking everything in his path. The match starts at the top of the temple steps and there might not be anybody better than Crane at violently flying through rubble. He can bring violence, but he's best at inviting violence onto his own person. Muertes throws him through the bleachers, brutally through the chairs, in a fun moment he flapjacks Crane on the stairs' handrail and Crane slides all the way down to the floor bent at the waist. Muertes is a beast, and as he beat Crane with meaty fists I actually liked Stryker pointing out "this is why middleweights typically don't fight heavyweights". Crane goes for his bottom ropes tope and Muertes literally doesn't budge, Crane just bounces off of him. We get a bunch of chairs involved including hard shots to the side of the head and nasty spills into them. In an absolutely nuts spot Crane sets up a table on the floor and takes too long leering at Catrina, allowing Mil to come crashing to the floor with a spear. And the spear doesn't actually break the table! Crane goes flying and Muertes just bulls grossly into the table, later slamming Crane through the bent up table. Crane doesn't go down easy and I wouldn't expect him to and didn't want him to, and we get an appropriate amount of violence. This was everything I wanted out of it.

TL: So this match is supposed to be one of the highlights of this season from what I heard coming in, but that’s really all I heard. No specifics. This has also had a nice little build and is the first thing I saw when starting up these reviews with Eric. The fact it starts with Mil jumping Crane from behind during his entrance makes it stand out immediately. Then, they just absolutely beat the crap out of each other from that moment on, and as much as I’m hot and cold on Crane, when he decides to bump big and sell, he’s as good as anyone on the planet. This match basically requires it since Mil wants revenge for the cheap win earlier in the season, so Crane is from underneath and takes a great beating. The bottom rope tope suicida where Crane just bounces off Muertes is one of the best spots I’ve seen in quite a while. Muertes no-selling the spit chop gets a pop from me, and an even bigger pop when Crane readies the cannonball only for Muertes to freight train him. I mean, this is an absolute mauling by Muertes. Considering what we had seen Crane do in the tourney matches before this, it’s as if the bookers made this match to force him to sell. The best thing this match does is reinforce that Crane just keeps coming forward, but you just can’t do that against Mil, and when he goes down from the chair shots, it’s a big deal considering what Crane had absorbed all match. Then, as Eric mentioned with the table, Crane got a bit too happy he was finally on offense and took that nasty bump through the table off the spear. And then another powerbomb through the half-broken table. Crane’s comeback with the choke and then the cannonball through the table was well earned, but good lord almighty, THIS is the Crane I want. Mil Muertes is amazing. One of the best matches in LU history, and while the All Night Long match was definitely surprising in a way that made it better than it probably was, this match is right there with it, maybe even more so.

TL: FBI agent coming into Cueto’s office and it ISN’T Burt Macklin? No dice.

3. Texano vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: This was fine considering the dropped stock of both guys (for my personal viewing), and I'm happy Pentagon advanced as I actually could have seen something ridiculous like Texano advancing to the finals. The Famous B stuff feels far too distracting considering they have seemingly been involving Pentagon in "serious" angles. So having him out in a serious fight with Brenda screaming at ringside for most of the match feels off. But I liked the horseshoe finish and Pentagon made the punch count. The arm breaking stuff is pretty stupid at this point, and having Pentagon break Brenda's arm to a huge babyface reaction makes a lot of the "under-advantaged women fighting for themselves" stuff they've done seem pretty pointless (if it hadn't already felt that way). Sexy Star has taken up too much time on TV being "a superhero to abused girls everywhere", and a bunch of dudes still jumping up and down while Brenda screams in pain seems like we went through countless bad segments for nothing. But I guess it's kewl because Pentagon has zero fear? I'm glad he was able to finally stand up to Brenda.

TL: I guess they had to figure out a way for Texano to basically go 50/50 with Dark considering how he was booked in the tourney, but this match didn’t really do much of anything for me considering they had to get Famous B and Brenda involved. Have no idea why Pentagon of all people needs to be winning a match with a foreign object, but that’s what this match ended with. (I agree that it was a good shot, though.) Just one of those matches that advanced nothing. Postmatch was disturbing and rendered Sexy Star pointless, so at least that happened.

TL: Eric absolutely no-selling the amulet stuff with Katrina that’s obviously a rip-off of Legends of the Hidden Temple is beyond me. Considering he’s the only person I know who loved that show more than me, I would have at least expected a Purple Parrots reference or something.


ER: We are now slowly transitioning into a Legends of the Hidden Temple/Supermarket Sweep blog. Gotta do a crowd opinion poll and see how many people would be down for show reports. We can count how many awkward high fives occur between the pre-teen members of the opposite sex, chart the disappointment on partners faces when they get stuck with a dummy partner on the Steps of Knowledge, report on Kirk Fogg's improv abilities as he stretches for time while interviewing contestants about their crystal horse collection....this feels like a dangerous suggestion.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 28: Booyaka! Booyaka!

TL: Sooooooo, the house band has a wrestling song that chants “THIS IS AWESOME!” throughout it and, well, I’m really at a loss for words.

1. The Mack vs. Texano

ER: My god the Texano experiment will never end. I think he might be my least favorite non-Sexy Star featured player in LU. He has so many featured matches! And he's really bad now! Also, according to Vampiro, he's gotta be at least 290. Which means I guess Willie Mack is around 375? Vampiro is using his magic scale again, probably the one given to him personally by Misawa after another one of their successful tours together. I really liked Mack here, but hated their mirror sequence stuff just because Texano is so slow. Texano hits a feather light crossbody that looked like he was trying to avoid making contact with Mack. I'm sure somebody has been actually keeping track of this, but it feels like Texano has had as many matches in LU as anyone. That's crazy.

TL: Hey! A standoff at the beginning the of the match! Never seen that before. That needs to be absolutely shelved, along with tower of doom spots and Malenko/Guerrero rollup spots. I would add fighting spirit spots, but that would put probably 90% of pro wrestlers out of work today. Vampiro having trouble saying “Quebradora” is something else, too. My favorite thing five minutes into this match is, without a doubt, The Mack’s swinging body slam. Texano advancing after what the Mack did with Mundo is really a puzzling decision considering how over he got, but hey, what do I know? Texano has obviously not been that motivated since the Alberto El Patron stuff now that he’s being lost in the shuffle in AAA, so him dogging it on LU is not a surprise. Really a blah match.

TL: Good lord, we have a Havoc/Madness standoff that’s not nearly as good as any Sons of Anarchy standoff, and that was the trashiest of Golden Age TV shows outside of maybe Season 2? Ireland is Season 3 right? Yeah. Season 2.

I also just watched a bunch of crazy Paul London PWG promos that came up on my YouTube recommended (HYBRID DOLPHINS, BABY!), so him opening up a giant box only to find a rabbit’s foot is pretty good, as is playing checkers on Saltador.

2. Drago vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: Plenty of fun, even though I really can't begin to fathom a millennia old lizard man trading flippy reversals with a purveyor of the dark arts. Shouldn't they be doing more world bending things than steadying each other on the ropes so one of them can do a kewl move? But, at least the moves were cool. Drago flies nuttily to the floor, and Pentagon brings his vicious side back with a nasty dropkick in the ropes, his far more plausible take on the one winged angel (dropping the electric chair start point makes it so much better), and planting him with a package piledriver for the win. Pentagon also dumped himself on his head at one point while Drago sort of did a blockbuster. Drago has been diminishing returns for awhile now, but Pentagon can still be interesting with the right guy. And I liked the post match feelings, with Pentagon attempting to break Drago's arm, Aerostar saving his friend, Drago laying him out and Aerostar getting his arm broke. Relationships are complicated. Sometimes it's difficult to tell why a friend or loved one is upset with you, or why they seemingly joined a lizard gang against their will. Closure is important for all parties.

TL: ANOTHER STANDOFF! You have to be kidding me. Who’s laying this show out? I do like Pentagon being more of a jerk to Drago here, making Drago do too much and making mistakes because of it. This is fine, but Pentagon was definitely breezing through this one. I didn’t feel too much with this match, mainly because there wasn’t much of a story being told outside of Drago not really being in Pentagon’s league. Poor Aerostar. You’d think him being able to travel through time and space would have made him see that one coming.

3. PJ Black vs. Rey Mysterio

ER: I thought this was really great, Mysterio's best showing since the loser leaves lucha match, and maybe PJ's best showing ever. Black worked as a kind of 80% AJ Styles and Mysterio is somehow ageless despite having no knees a decade ago. Rey has no problem flying to the floor early, and I thought Black's timing was really good throughout, loved the superkick to counter the 619, and I love that torture rack type drop he gave Rey. They manage to make some typically dance-y spots look real smooth, including one of the only examples I can think of rolling through a top rope rana actually making sense. I've seen that used many times, and it's always terrible, always a guy taking a full back bump and then just rolling through the move anyway. It always looks stupid. And then, these two go and Black smoothly rolls through it, timing it perfectly and not absorbing any impact of the rana, actually doing the reversal properly where everybody else has failed. The ref bump even worked from a logic standpoint, as Black went for a powerbomb and Rey quickly reversed it into a wild tornado DDT, clonking the ref during the tornado portion. It worked because it was done so quickly that the reversal actually seemed like a surprise, so it makes sense that the ref wouldn't be expected to suddenly have legs being swung into the side of his head. The interference was over the top, but at least Mundo made it count and booted Rey right between the eyes to break up the pin. Eventually though, Black reveals that he's never watched a Rey Mysterio match before in his life, as he tries to give him a crucifix bomb. He does not successfully hit that crucifix bomb. I thought this whole thing was really good.

TL: You’ll never guess what this match starts off with. Unreal. I always love La Atlantida, and PJ doing the Atlantida drop was fine even if he couldn’t get it locked in the first time. Rey Mysterio, 30 or so years in, is still such a ridiculous bumper it makes me laugh. Eats a great Black superkick as Eric mentioned, as Rey is the best wrestlers ever at picking his spots in a match, and it always makes his opponents look good because of it, giving credence to their offense. I have nothing to add about the finish. Easily thought it was best match of the episode, and even Rey playing through his greatest hits works well, as it definitely did here. Like Rey more as a phoenix allegory than a Jesus allegory but they already have Fenix, so I’ll believe Rey as Jesus.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 27: Fade to Black

TL: I know it’s not the season for it anymore, but for me to be watching this show with so many scenes on rooftops during the Christmas season and not make an “Up on the Rooftop” reference means that I just left content hanging out there for you guys and for that, I am sorry. I really am. Also, this has both the most substitute teacher-looking Vampiro so far and PJ Black flipping the bird towards Puma. I don’t really have much else for that. Just that it happened.

1. Pindar vs. Cage

ER: I was looking forward to this match, but oh well, now we got Pindar as a bracket buster. The ref leaned into that big Cage lariat, and it's getting pretty annoying how they've been taking every other week off as it concerns DQs. Pretty sure every match last week had some kind of interference.

TL: Pindar being announced from a different time (“When Reptiles Ruled the Earth”) makes me wonder why more wrestlers don’t try things like that. The Vaudevillains should have been billed from “When Motion Pictures Were Turned with a Hand Crank” or something to that regard. “When Two Bits Were a Common Form of Currency.” “When The Wright Brothers Finished Their First Flight.” Anyways, you reading this took longer than the match, as Cage didn’t want to take off the Power Glove and knocks out Ph.D. Justin Borden and Pindar with it before the DQ. Borden is nuts for letting Cage essentially do a one-armed Screwdriver to him since Cage did it with the glove on. Can’t wait for there to be a DQ next week for a closed fist.

2. Dante Fox vs. Son of Havoc

ER: The Dario inconsistent rulings really are made more annoying when they come back to back. He's cool with Cage/Pindar not actually having a match, but THIS match we ALL need to see? And also, can anybody confirm that Vampiro has ever even been in the same room as Misawa? He's brought it up three times this season, and I can't recall any kind of AJPW tours that he was on pre-NOAH split, and I know he never showed up on a NOAH tour. I think there's an honest chance that I have been in live attendance more times, AND appeared in photographs more times with Misawa than Vampiro has. And as long as you zoned out during all of the move set up, this match totally delivered. Some of the set ups were just awful, really glaring "Hey could you wait there for me to hit this move? Sure, just return the favor for me by awkwardly rolling 6 feet over so I can hit a moonsault." But the big moves were ridiculous, and I'm glad Fox got the win after some of his lunacy. He does a massive flip dive that overshoots Havoc (he overshoots his flip dives so much that I'm almost starting to think it's on purpose), weird stuff like jumping onto the top rope knees first to do a strange Spanish fly variation, that brutal leg drop from the top rope to the apron (really I'd love more wrestlers aping Damien Wayne than Kenny Omega) and then taking a coconuts death valley driver from the apron WAY far away onto the floor. He really felt like he was pulling out all his tricks and while I hated a lot of the transitions in the match, I'm glad his crazy was rewarded.

TL: This match-up is something I’m definitely lukewarm on, but mainly on the Havoc side. Fox is a guy I’ve liked more than I haven’t but there’s too much here for bad habits to present itself with. Fox busts out his absolutely insane somersault plancha over the ringpost that he’d hit in Reseda and the aforementioned leg drop, but I actually liked him looking up to the ceiling before he hit the Swanton which made me think he might actually hit something hanging down. He’s just insanely athletic. Lo Mein Pain is normally a goofy set up but he hits it well here. This match really does devolve into inconsistency with the transitions to Son of Havoc’s offense because he takes SO much time before trying to hit something. The time it took before that apron DVD was just mindnumbingly long. I’ve talked about how much I love the Mushroom Stomp, but Havoc hits one so lightly here I thought he slipped. The flashes of good don’t make up for the inconsistent overall construction of it. It’s pretty obvious that Fox being in there with the right guy means it’s going to be awesome, though. Havoc’s just not the guy.

TL: Benjamin Cooke is basically a Paul Heyman-like talking head that can blow smoke up asses and is just sleazy enough to make you think he can get you a job on…well, a show like Lucha Underground, actually. Very meta. Need more Johnny Mundo talking about Ghost Dad 2 and less screen time to guys that aren’t gonna add much to stories.

3. PJ Black vs. Prince Puma

ER: Boy this did just nothing at all for me. Worse, it annoyed me. That strike exchange annoyed the hell out of me. I mean my god was that stupid. And it went on forever. Just big leaping spinny kicks and knees and bad forearms and a neverending sequence of guys spinning from a strike just to hit their own spinny strike. And they were selling how tired they were, so it was done in an almost preposterous slow motion. This kind of strike exchange can still work within the Low-Ki/Red Jackie Chan fast countering style, but I thought this "we're exhausted but we're having a war using the least efficient strikes to do so" looked horrible and embarrassing. The spots weren't nearly as impressive as the previous match, and those move and strike exchanges were the worst of modern wrestling.

TL: Yeah, a few minutes in and I’m echoing Eric’s sentiments. They run through a Reseda Standoff that has been seen WAY too many times before and then Puma goes through a long control segment that just doesn’t grab me. Black busts out a reverse suplex into a Dragon Clutch and it just makes me want to watch a Low Ki match. If this was a straight up sprint that went six minutes and had just insane athletic moves from both guys, it would be way better than this. The match starting with Puma’s comeback should have been the match but with everything at a breakneck pace. I really hate that there are moves with WWE-related buzzwords like “Wellness Policy.” It’s just so petty and makes you look minor league. OH CRAP, THAT STRIKE EXCHANGE IS TERRIBLE. All those kicks not putting anyone down, two guys who can’t throw strikes throwing strikes…I’m trying to talk myself into this match and that took me out. I’m now actively just waiting for the end of it. Black pops up back for a counter after taking a super poison rana. Sure. The Puma 630 was super low and tight, which was cool, but this match was just not even remotely close to being “amazing” like Striker said it was. Guessing Meltz Is feeding him lines at this point.

ER: PJ Black gets a match against Rey Mysterio on the very next episode, and Dario tells him that "he will finally be able to show the fans what he's all about." He was literally JUST in the main event of this show, and lost a "war". What more can he honestly be about that he hasn't shown in his 18 or so LU matches so far?

TL: Don’t get why Cueto would even take three calls from Cooke, let alone 18. If someone was trying to call me that many times, I’d fire the wrestler he represents. Easy peasy. Hate booking a match where you put a guy in Black’s position, where you either make Rey look weak because you want to make Black strong for some reason, or you book a completely predictable match against a guy who’s supposed to be the most legendary figure in the company. Just an odd booking choice and a complete lapse of judgement in resources.


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 25: Left for Dead

ER: Despite not being excited for the eventual match, I really enjoyed the Dante Fox package. The torture room stuff after Killshot left him behind was straight out of Syriana, dudes just punching and kicking him in the face, even going so far as to have him about to be beheaded! Am I just forgetting, or is this the first actual time they've explained why Fox has a problem with Killshot?

TL: It was definitely well done and told a better story than most have been told this year. That is, except the Power Glove. ALL HAIL THE POWER GLOVE. I really don’t understand why there aren’t more packages like this to get you involved in storylines. This told you everything you wanted to hear and hardly any words were said. Plus, yet another guy on a rooftop in Boyle Heights, so they have that going for them. Having it be Killshot in an elevated position is pretty damn good, though. Nice little add on.

TL: Update on Vampiro not saying Sergio Arau’s name correctly: Still can’t say it correctly.

1. PJ Black vs. Sexy Star

ER: Normally it could be written off as an annoying Matt Striker quirk to bring up Jim Breaks in a Sexy Star match, but now it's appropriate since they are both documented piles of shit. PJ is far too generous here and it was probably his best LU performance. He launches himself 2/3 the way across the ring on a rana, takes her flimsy armdrags, gets shoved off the top to the floor and crashes spectacularly. He also drops her with a brainbuster that is nastier than any move she has ever performed. So of course if keeps her down for just a couple seconds. Thankfully for PJ, Taya comes out to interfere, or else PJ would have had zero chance against the bravest woman to ever enter this cruel world. Star hits him with brass knux for the rarely seen LU DQ, but I care not about the stupid finish, as it means I no longer have to see her in the tournament.

TL: Sexy Star has a staff for some reason now. An even better line than the Jim Breaks is Striker saying “Sexy putting her ego aside!” before hitting a plancha. I also wonder how Borden can be outsmarted by ANYONE given he’s got all those degrees. AND THEN SHE HITS BORDEN WITH THE KNUCKS? Good lord was that unnecessary. Much like this match. Because Sexy Star, even in defeat, has to look this strong. Unreal. I’ll never get this.

TL: I fast forwarded through the Real Fight Rey/Johnny package but got a still screen of Mundo on a rooftop training, which makes me wonder why LU doesn’t just open a rooftop dojo.

2. Son of Havoc vs. Son of Madness

ER: If they never build to a Loser Shaves Beard match then they have truly failed. With his black mask and dark beard, Madness looks like Phineas of the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers, and he's clearly a bump freak as he takes a hip toss from the Temple steps to the floor. They do a pretty stupid missed clothesline spot in the corner, just dancing around and missing clotheslines over and over, but Madness hits a cool spear through the buckles and kneels on Havoc's throat, so whatever. I don't really like Havoc's offense, but the two do a nice job of exchanging their respective offense, and regardless of the offense the nearfalls were effective. Madness has a cool jackhammer, Havoc takes his nice back of neck ropes bump into a cutter (far more decent than that stupid cutter set up from Jay Lethal) and we build to a fast dive from Havoc. So we get a nice, effectively built match with a skin of the teeth win from Havoc, which is all perfectly acceptable. I probably would have felt a little more throughout the match if we had a little backstory on Madness. We know that his father or mother is Madness, and that he wanted to take out Havoc. And I kinda hate that some kind of biker doppelgänger wanted Havoc's blood, and Havoc responded with handsprings.

TL: Wish that Madness would have kept the vest on the entire time just so folks could tell the two apart better, but then you could really tell the two apart after a while via the glorious beard. This was a pretty good match in a lot of ways. Madness had some cool spots and did a good job of being a foil for Havoc’s offense, and this was actually one of the better matches of the first round when it’s all said and done. We now have a vest stealing storyline, which is probably a mid-tier sartorial storyline in the annals of wrestling. To be honest, I’m not topping Eric’s line about the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers. And you probably skipped this to go on to the next match.

3. Prince Puma vs. Ricky Mandel

ER: This ended up being pretty rewarding for a 90 second match. Puma pump kicks him at the bell and plants him with a rolling brainbuster, and we get a nice unexpected kick out from Mandel. The match easily could have just ended there, but I like that they gave him a little something with the kick out. He also gets to hit a nice superkick, although Puma just kind of cracks his neck, hits another pump kick, and then a sick driver to end it. I appreciated that Mandel kept his sunglasses on the whole time.

TL: There’s a Phoenix Pro Wrestling regular named Kenny K who wrestles with his sunglasses on and he’s one of the best workers in the company, pretty easily, too. So I thoroughly enjoyed Ricky being such a schlub he kept the glasses on the entire time. I can get behind Hoodie Puma big time, much like people got behind Hoodie Melo. Fun squash right here.

4. Dante Fox vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: These matches always leave me hollow. Some of the stuff looks good, none of it means anything. Fox takes a couple of great bumps onto his head (including a great one on the floor), but who actually cares, because he sells his jaw more after a few weak Azteca forearms than he ever sold his head. We get big moves and small moves, and moves where you're not totally sure who took the move but it doesn't matter anyway because both guys sell it the same. Both men lie on the mat, surely unable to go on for another second, but then they are able to!! They get up and then the other one does a move that also looks like it hurts both of them! They're both so tired, but then they're both not that tired! This was a backdrop for a Worldwide Undergound attack on Rey, which was a fine beatdown and more interesting than the sexy dance fighting happening in the ring. I was fully expecting a Killshot run-in, and it never happened. But we did get ample thigh slaps and that one sound effect that LU uses.

TL: I’ve always liked AR Fox, as he was one of those just insane athletes that made things look good and he emoted well, but in context against another guy that’s similar to him, it doesn’t stand out. I do think it’s funny that guys are gonna sell elbow strike exchanges like they’re the most important thing in the match, but can’t be bothered to sell anything else even for a few seconds. And then Azteca sells his back being out during the run in only to hit the tope to clear everyone out. I’m kinda trying to find logic here, but it ain’t there. So we’re gonna move on and let this be.

TL: I'm running a bit short on patience with the LU style in a lot of ways. It seems like the worst possible super indy/PWG-style matches for a majority of this, and even plodding matches, if there's a bit of selling, I'm way more of a fan of than the style that has kinda permeated most of the matches I've seen this season. I hope this changes up the rest of the tournament now that there is less riff-raff, but there's a couple matchups that I'm probably not gonna be looking forward to that are going to definitely live up to these expectations.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 17: The Gauntlet

ER: So Vampiro has a split personality, but when does he find the time to apply all that grease paint and Spirit Superstore fake blood? What does he do with his XXL plaid shirts and bomber jackets when he is dark Vampiro?

MD: I'm more confused why the house band only knows La Bamba.

1. Jeremiah Crane vs. Mil Muertes

ER: Man, we see guys eat pump kicks with gunshot sound FX every damn week, and now one of those is enough to put down Muertes, just because he got hit with a flexible stick first? That's stupid as hell. I wanted this match, a match I was genuinely excited for once Callihan debuted with LU. At least somebody somewhere probably made a gif of Crane eating that shoulderblock in a loony way (Matt!! Make a gif out of Crane eating that shoulderblock!).

MD: Yep. This has been the match I've been looking forward to for weeks. Obviously, they'll go back to it at some point, but this was just a tease. As will become utterly evident in the next match, Muertes (and Matanza and to a lesser extent Pentagon) singles matches are a different beast than almost everything the promotion offers and there was a real chance here. Just not the time and the place. As always, however, I do like just how much is going on storyline wise. This match had a point in existing. The Catrina/Ivelisse/Crane stuff will continue (and loop back into Muertes at some point), but the direction now is Puma vs Mil.

And here's Eric's gif.

https://j.gifs.com/58YQZv.gif

ER: I don't know who Johnny Mundo's Stan is, but I like that Sexy Star clearly doesn't trust this guy...yet then gets excited because that same guy gives her a hat box with her name spelled out in serial killer magazine letters. "Oooooooooo someone left a present for meeeeeeee?" This is why you got kidnapped and molested for 6 months, Sexy Star. I'm now thinking Moth was just casually hanging out in his van and forgot he had left the sliding door open and Sexy Star just wandered inside, and he took it as a sign.

MD: I was just thinking how glad I was that they were moving off of Sexy Star and then we get this. Past the debut of the Holy Armlet of +2 Enhanced Aggression at the end, Stan's probably the best part of this episode. Just saying.

2. Jack Evans/PJ Black vs. Angelico/Son of Havoc

ER: Real shame, as this whole thing clearly fell apart right when Angelico torched his elbow on a nasty landing. Everything up to that point was really fun, the minute after the elbow injury was unfortunate and showed everybody nervously scrambling. The first 90 seconds of Evans/Angelico stuff felt like that first time you saw Low Ki/Red, just crazy Jackie Chan stunt fighting. I'm really liked Evans working as a Memphis stooge with actual break dancing ability. I have to imagine they had a lot of neat things planned in this that went right out the window with the injury. Although I'm kind of shocked how poorly everyone handled the injury, a lot of standing around awkwardly, then Evans slowly rolling Havoc in and hitting a slam, and then a sloppy phoenix splash. They couldn't have improvised anything better?

MD: This is a night of disappointment. When I saw that this was 2x2 my initial thought was that we'd get something with some real heat and the crowd would have something to react to. I knew it wouldn't be a full Southern tag, but it made sense that Havoc would get beaten on a bit and Angelico would get to have a hot tag. That's just how tag wrestling works. Was there an injury? Maybe, but I think what happened instead is this: they clipped it. We hear about this now and again, that a lot of the LU matches go longer than what we see, but rarely do I get a real sense of it. Here, I did. Striker went on about how they'd been beating on Havoc for a while, when he'd really just come in and then immediately went into his comeback with the neckjam back off the ropes. In a tag match, the heat is everything. That's not just southern tags either. It's lucha. It's 100% lucha, which is all about anticipation and payoff. You can't have any sort of payoff without building anticipation and that's the heat/beatdown. That's Lucha Underground in a nutshell; they'd cut out the absolute heart of a match in order to create a "good parts version" because they don't understand it's the heart. I don't know. Either I'm right or Eric's right, or we're both right which is probably a worst possible scenario.

ER: Oh dear, that Sexy Star acting. I wonder how many takes they have her go through, if they do some crazy Kubrick-esque 70 takes and just try to piece together the best parts of each one ransom note style, or if they just shoot one knowing it's not going to get any better. Her final clenched teeth ARRRRGHHHHH made me think of Sexy Star as Cathy, just looking at that sky high inbox and releasing a bad hair day ACK!

MD: I am increasingly getting a kick out of how people speak English to Sexy Star and she responds in Spanish. I cannot think of a situation in either real life or any other movie/TV show I've seen where that's happened as a commonplace thing that we're just supposed to accept as normal.

3. Cage vs. Texano

ER: I was pretty prepared to dislike this one as their other three matches have been mostly snoozefests, and after this match went less than three minutes I was ready to declare it the most pointless match series in wrestling history (even though I liked the finish of Cage being knocked loopy and busted open by the turnbuckle, just thought it came WAY too early). But then MF Dario comes out with one of his best promos, with several funny little riffs, and with Cage knocked loopy and bleeding we get match 5...RIGHT NOW. And then both guys finally break out against each other and since Dario made it anything goes, they do anything. I thought Texano looked awful in the "match 4" portion of this, constantly looking like he was thinking of the next move, major disconnect in his face and movements. And some of that is still present in "match 5" (like that weird spot where he takes a bump over the top, but just made it look like he ran at the ropes with the intention of bumping over them; nothing in his movements made it look like he was going to do a move to Cage, but Cage moved, just lazy set-up), but it mostly didn't matter as he took heavy knuckles right to Cage's cut and Cage started getting wild color. Cage totally owns this match, the guy is nuts. He hits a huge dive to the floor that Texano mostly whiffs on, landing Cage's face inches from the Temple steps. They brawl through the crowd and Cage takes a spinebuster on the bleachers (Texano had taken a suplex), and then an awesome backwards bump off the second level, and eats a heavy crossbody. Cage takes the awesome LU signature bump through the chairs, both guys stupidly eat chairshots, Cage lands his great discus lariat, and that screwdriver finisher is just nasty. We had to sit through 4 totally forgettable matches to get to the keeper, but hats off to them for having a keeper.

MD: I was thinking to myself (a common occurrence for this episode apparently) how rushed some things lately have been, like the debut of the Rabbit Tribe in a random match after weeks of promos, and likewise how drawn out this has been, three matches, plus a four man and interference in another. And lo and behold, they get the picture and take the thing home. Again, I hate being that guy but the blood sort of made this. It's so relatively rare in 2017 and even and especially in Lucha Underground, where there are so many situations where it might make sense that they don't actually go there. It's a basic truth of wrestling: less is more. If you hold something back, when you actually go to it, it means something. It made the fall of the fourth match completely believable. It made the relative peril that Cage was in for the start of the fifth match believable. When he fought back, it actually meant something, and all of that played into the escalation of the match, getting bigger and bigger right up until the Steiner Screwdriver which ended it. Boy were those chairshots stupid in 2017, though.

ER: LOVED the show ending meeting with Cage in Dario's office, with Cage getting presented with a black Power Glove (It's so bad!!!) and I just love the idea of Cage with a 2017 Lex Luger metal plate gimmick. I need to have him kill a couple of guys with heart punches and I will be officially over the moon. I also love how the case containing the glove was glowing whenever it was opened, as if it contained Marsellus Wallace's soul. Terrific segment.

MD: Wherever this is going, I hope there's lots of fake lightning.


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 16: The Battle of the Bulls

1. The Mack vs. PJ Black vs. Jeremiah Crane vs. Cage

ER: Man these 4 ways are starting to run together. And I don't think this was a very good one, even though I like most of these guys. The set up for stuff showed too many cracks: Cage catching dives and turning them into vertical suplexes is cool, but Crane made it too obvious he was jumping off the apron trying to get suplexed; Mack's flip dive is impressive as hell, but not as much when everybody completely whiffs on the catch and everybody (Striker included) pretends he nailed them all. Obviously there will be fun moments, it would be near impossible for these guys to not do SOMEthing cool. Mack moonsaulting onto a pile of guys or Crane getting powerbombed onto guys is expected 4 way fun. Crane does a sick double underhook piledriver on Black, and then Vampiro says "I saw Misawa beat Kawada with that move so many times when I toured All Japan in the 90s". I mean...almost every word of that sentence is 100% complete bullshit. Misawa never did that move, Vampiro never worked AJ the same time as Misawa, it's literally something that never happened, and something he didn't see happen. Is this like Berenstein/Berenstain Bears or that Sinbad genie movie? People are going to claim Vampiro was in AJ during that one and only tour where Misawa did a bunch of sit out double underhook piledrivers?

MD: As bad as anything else with these four ways is Striker giving one or two word summations of wrestlers. Ultimately, I'm with Eric on this. Lots of cool stuff, especially from Cage and Mack. Obviously, we weren't going to get Cage in WWE, but we came real close to Mack and I kind of wonder what a world where he got in there would look like. He'd probably be rounding out the six mans with Titus and Crews vs the New Day knowing them, but that'd still be a lot of fun. If you watch wrestling for acrobatics and feats of strength, this is for you. We generally don't. I guess, if nothing else, I thought they protected everyone well. Cage looked like he was in a class all his own; Crane got to hang with these guys which is important since he's relatively newly debuted; Black was mainly there to bounce off people. And after all of the spots and chaos, it ended about as anti-climatically as possible, though still in a way that refocuses things towards Mack vs Worldwide Underground. This was fun as usual, not great in the least, and the worst thing about it was definitely the commentary.

ER: Should I read too much into Mexicans warring against Lizard People? I assume if anything had actually come of those Russo rumors we would have already been dealing with a Pepe-masked authority figure.

MD: I can't get past the fact that they were looking for Drago in the stalls. What if they found him? How awkward would have that been? I chalk this up to Aerostar being an alien and not having proper boundaries. What an interminable bathroom fight.

2. Cage Match: Sexy Star vs. Johnny Mundo

ER: The woman who "inspired a generation"!! This is the first cage match in LU history, yes? I cannot imagine a more legendary person getting to honor the gimmick. "Strength, athleticism? I think they're equal." Yeah, Striker. She's probably about as strong as a man twice her size, and certainly isn't the clumsiest person in the fed facing a legit parkour loon. Man, I hate women. Matt Striker and Sexy Star have officially made me hate women. What a predictably awful match with a wonderfully excellent shitheel finish. We spend the whole match with both trying to escape (until Sexy jumped off the top with a crossbody when she could have escaped, then we got Striker retconning how Sexy Star would NEVER want to run away and escape, she confronts all of her problems HEAD ON!!), and if you thought Star's strikes looked bad on solid ground, then brother you better soak in those kicks while standing on the ropes. The sound engineer has never been so shameful with the sweetening. I liked Star's rana off the top in reaction to Mundo yanking her leg. The rest was awful. UNTIL we get to the perfect finish, with Mundo yanking off Star's mask sending her running for cover (you see, millions of young girls Sexy Star has inspired, her mask is her identity), and Mundo escapes with ease, rubbing it in before hopping to the floor. He even throws in a both arms up victory lap run to his belt. The only thing that salvaged this horror.

MD: I watched this on 2x Speed. I'm not going to remind Eric about the season 2 Cage vs Mundo cage match (Cage in a Cage, that's the name of the episode), mainly because I barely remember it. So, slightly different misogynistic take than Eric: the only way this possible could work, and the way it occasionally works, is if Mundo is brutally beating Star with the cage as a weapon. Why? Because she can't actually do anything. She can't hit her spots. She can't sell well. She can't draw sympathy. So it falls on Mundo to drive everything by being mean and cruel. Obviously, that has its own issues as we are fairly decent human beings, so this just had no leg to stand on. The "babyface refuses to win the match and leaps back into the ring instead" trope works better if 1.) there's no title on the line and 2.) the babyface is Jeff Hardy, not Sexy Star, whose entire character is about winning the title again. I will say this though: the great challenge of Season 3 has been to work with her, and I think what we've seen over the last few episodes is that Worldwide Underground, at least, have gotten better at cracking that code. You can learn a lot about a wrestler from how he works in a near-impossible situation and they've done about as well as could be expected. Mack showing up at the end to transition things was almost a relief, as was Sexy Star in the ring Dana Brooke posing her way right out of the main event scene.

ER: I actually do remember the name of that Cage in a Cage episode, but I also do not remember a thing about that match. Looking it up, my first sentence of the review was "This had some nice moments, but overall didn't do much for me." The math on me not remembering this match checks out.


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 15: En La Sombras

1. Killshot vs. Dante Fox vs. Mariposa vs. Jeremiah Crane

ER: I thought this was one of the more successful 4 way scrambles of the season. Participants don't always matter in these matches, as there's enough down time for everybody that people can be hidden. But layout is important and you need a traffic director, and people need to hit their stuff. It got a little kick-y and way too sound effects-y at one point (there's a spot down the home stretch where everybody is hitting a variety of kicks, back to back, and all of them have the exact same sound effect, so you were just getting that Slim Jim snap every two seconds), but this was a fun 10 minutes. Fox hit a bunch of rabid succession dives, and then Crane levels him with his awesome low tope. We get a ridiculous chair tower spot that leads to Mariposa throwing nasty chair shots at everyone, throwing chairs around like Necro Butcher, hitting guys at annoying angles with unfolded chairs, really fun bit of violence. Crane felt like he was running things in there, hanging back for the flip offense and always there to cut things off and keep it flowing. The postscript of the match was terrible though, with our final image being the continuing feud of Killshot/Fox, and Killshot hitting his finisher. And I still have zero clue what his finisher is supposed to be. He always just stomps both feet next to his opponent's head. Is it supposed to look like he's stomping the guy's face? Is it a bad bombs away? Whatever it is, no part of him makes any sort of contact with his opponent. Is the fear of another human being leaping high into the sky and *almost* landing on your face enough to paralyze one man long enough to get a 3 count? I'd probably be pretty rattled if I were lying around somewhere, and somebody almost landed on my face. So that's probably it. We'll go with that.

MD: I wanted to name this review: "Night of a Thousand Kicks." that's what this match felt like. In general, though, and this might just be me not watching a lot of super indy multimans and tags, I was really impressed by the complexity of the layout of this. There was a ton for these guys to keep track of and they did so pretty smoothly. I'm tempted to agree with Eric and give the credit for that to Crane. On the other hand, when you have this many strikes and kicks, none of them end up meaning anything. As much as I loved the image of the chairs (and it makes sense because Callihan's the world's best Ambrose), the unprotected shot meant nothing and was totally unnecessary. If you're going to do a spot like that, make it matter. On the other hand, Mariposa's shoulder blocks felt like they did matter because it was such a striking image to have the female in the match be the bully. They completely made it work and believable. Striker insinuating on commentary that insane Mariposa was somehow inspired, like the rest of America, by Sexy Star was pretty maddening though. And sure, if the shoulder blocks resonated, her tossing chairs around the ring absolutely did. She was a total bruiser in this match, even getting to finish the Tower of doom spot. I liked how frustrated she was in not winning the match too. Reactions like that are important in putting over the stakes. Killshot was generally as annoying as usual. Fox wasn't much better (and they're both all the worse for being neither heels nor faces; just being there). And yes, absolutely, on a show that's so heavily produced, why would they so clearly show us Killshot whiffing on his post-match finisher?

ER: There's not much worse than slo mo training in a dark gym to soft flamenco guitar plucking, and then finding a spider in your locker. Yucky! Luckily, that spider was in the locker of the woman who has overcome more than any woman in history.

MD: The Sexy Star thing wasn't so bad in 2x speed. She was hitting that bag super fast.

2. Kobra Moon vs. Drago

ER: Not a lot of LU matches end in a DQ, so I guess that makes this one noteworthy? According to Vampiro, Kobra Moon might not have any bones or cartilage, which I suppose could explain some of the clumsiness. I thought Drago looked quite good in the limited time we got; he did this single leg while shrugging her other leg over his body with his shoulder that looked smooth in a nice understated way. The smaller lizard person looks like Dirk Benedict at the end of Sssssss ("Don't say it, hiss it!").

MD: I'm thinking they should probably have done this over a span of three weeks right? Lizard guy one could debut after a normal Drago squash and look good in the debut. The next week, the trios champs could run him off. Then Lizard Kane could show up on week 3? That would have made everyone look stronger. This way Lizard Kane (did they have to give him both the Chokeslam AND the Tombstone?) was the only one who really got over. Drago's trip-based offense looked better than Angelico's trip based offense later in the night at least. His Dominator was brutal. I can't believe they let Ron Simmons do that week in and week out in 1996.

ER: Sexy Star has shown more anger and passion over this spider in her locker than she showed following her six months as a kidnapped slave. I'm starting to think Sexy Star is really bad at this.

MD: Hey, they made the Iron Fist hallway fight look good. Is this the first real time we've heard Mariposa speak? That's a mistake.

3. Jack Evans vs. PJ Black vs. Son of Havoc vs. Angelico

ER: This was quite the worst of stupid multiman spots, with tons of really bad set ups for moves that didn't look great anyway. PJ Black standing bent at the waist holding Angelico's waistband for an eternity, just to set up Havoc doing a double stomp, was a microcosm of this match. But it did peak with a legitimately holy shit spot with Angelico superplexing Jack Evans off the buckles to the floor. He clearly went over PJ/Havoc and took a full superplex all the way to the floor. Crazy, insane spot, taken by an insane man. But it was fine, as Jack was back in the ring for the finish no less than 15 seconds later. Very little to love about this match.

MD: In theory, I kind of liked that they switched up the way the match was laid out compared to the other multimans and made it a bit more of a 2 vs 2 thing. In practice, they didn't lean hard enough into it. Angelico/Havoc/Ivelisse had a real connection with the crowd. They could have done more with that. I don't think this was necessary worse than some of the other Bulls matches with the contrived set ups, but when you add in the lack of (narrative) impact everything had, it was pretty grating. I liked when they dumped Havoc out of the ring and that did set up an Angelico vs the World bit, but the bit itself was so bad that it didn't really earn any lasting goodwill. And hey, Angelico looks like a putz after they set up his return.

ER: This, right here, was a bad episode of professional wrestling.

MD: I'd call it more middling. That first multiman, while not necessarily a good professional wrestling match, was at least an impressive spectacle.

ER: I will compromise and say, "This, right here, was not a good episode of professional wrestling."


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 14: The Bulls of Boyle Heights

MD: I could watch Dario backstage with people all day. Angelico doesn't portray a tough guy well at all, but there's enough weight built up in his grudge with Mundo from time alone that all of this works. I like that he has to go through one more hoop to get to him. I swear that 2017 WWE wouldn't think through a character enough to run with the Bull theme with Dario like they're doing here. It's obvious that his plan was having Angelico and Matanza in the 4 way next week.

1. Cage vs. Texano vs. Joey Ryan vs. Dr. Wagner Jr.

ER: Oh good, I was hoping we'd get some additional Cage/Texano interactions outside of their best of 27 series. And this got a decent amount of time. And was not very good. We did get a lot of Texano/Cage interactions, which we've already seen just...way too much of, and it's still not working. When Texano is announced, Striker said, "One word: GREAT." Texano may have the biggest gap in "actual output in promotion" versus "how promotion wants him to be perceived" in the fed...if it weren't for one TINYYYYYY person in LU illustrating that same thing times 10. Wagner is one of the most charismatic men I've ever seen live, and I'm wondering why it's not coming through on LU. Is it because they want you to think everybody is a big charismatic star? Is it the differences in lucha filming vs. professional high end LU filming? Is he just being portrayed here like "just another guy"? Is it because he was saddled with Famous B - who is amusing in his role but makes a legitimate star like Wagner come off as bottom rung? Wagner still moves like a star, still seems like he has that charisma, but the way they're using him it could really be anybody under that mask. Cage looked pretty impressive here, that moonsault to the floor was nuts (and everybody was nuts for standing right under it), and for what felt like a throwaway match (even though it's part of a larger match concept) Cage came off pretty big here.

MD: This was a typical Lucha Underground multiman. You can't help but contrast it to the match later in the night and while that one had more fun character interactions, this was less stilted and choreographed. I thought both Cage and Texano came off pretty well here, actually. There's zero hook to Texano in lucha underground and generally seeing him here just makes me wish he was teaming with Terrible in CMLL still, but he stood tall against everyone for a decent amount of time. I get what Eric's saying though. I think the problem with Wagner in LU is that he doesn't really get to be Wagner. Everything about this promotion plays against his strengths. He's not a guy who can just come in and hit spots endlessly and then get out of the ring so the next person can take over. It's those dead spaces between spots where he can play to the crowd and make things mean something (or not mean something in a way that makes him look good, which is a Wagner special) where he excels. Even Vampiro pointed out that this wasn't really Wagner's style of match. These things were made for Cage to hit spots though. He was physically astonishing in this match, to the point where I stopped really caring whether or not this was good. Catching Ryan in mid-air and jackhammering him is insanely impressive. It was nice to see the rope come back into play for the finish as it had annoyed me how little its use mattered in the match itself.

MD: The second she told Reyes that he had to go back to the Temple, I was rooting for her to put him under a mask. That they're actually going with that shows how on point this show can be at times.

2. Sexy Star vs. PJ Black

ER: "You can't help but get behind Sexy Star!" You might think that was the case, Striker, but I suppose I just despise poor downtrodden women. That's something about ME that needs work. After all, if I can't get behind this one brave woman, who am I, and what wrong steps have *I* taken as a human? But this match was probably upper tier for Sexy Star. She has no idea how to transition, and no idea how to make up the size difference, and sometimes it's pretty clear she doesn't know how to fall for certain moves, but Black at least knew how to build to her bigger spots and they crafted a nice nearfall off the Styles Clash kickout. I liked Star's rana, and I liked PJ bragging on the top rope to set up his huge nasty drop onto the turnbuckles, and yeah, this was fine. You know she's going to win, and you know the commentary is going to be ridiculously over the top while praising her contributions to the history of womankind, but the match overall worked.

MD: In general, I wish they just moved Star over to Taya. If this had to happen, hwoever, I'm with Eric that the match overall did work. Most of that was on Black, his arrogance (including cheating when he didn't even have to), and is general unwillingness to sell for her unless she really earned it. He seemed to be putting an extra bit of oomph into everything too, which is not something people do with her. I came out of this wondering if I haven't been undervaluing Black. It's a shame he keeps injuring himself on basejumps or whatever. All that said, I'll be honest: I tend to watch Sexy Star matches at 2x speed, so my views on them are suspect.

ER: So Kobra Moon of all people is getting her own stable of reptilians? They're now building her up as some sort of millennia-long leader, when up til now all she's done is lose short matches and flirt with boys. It's a long con, people.

MD: I was wondering how this meshed with her and Daga from last season too. I think the line is that she ate him whole? Still, I'm all for the expansion of the mythos, and even more so the fact that they rationalized spending the money to actually make a GiJoe Serpentor throne in 2017.

3. Marty the Moth Martinez vs. Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. The Mack vs. Mil Muertes

ER: This didn't end the way I was expecting it to, as with the participants I assumed this would be a guaranteed path for Mil Muertes. And Muertes looked pretty awesome in this, loved his big uppercuts, and the showdown with Moth. Moth standing up to him and getting clocked in the jaw, then later speared through the ropes was terrific. Azteca and Mack matched up nicely, and that tornado DDT Azteca hits is insane. The ending was pretty stupid, with Azteca getting almost a visual pinfall on Muertes, then goes up to hit something else, waits there forever for the Matanza run-in (couldn't they have edited that closer together), and then other people just kill time being inactive while Matanza does his thing. His ragdoll slamming of Azteca was cool, but didn't love how it played into the match, with Mack then kind of just vulturing the win.

MD: As much as I liked Marty interacting with everyone, there was a heck of a lot of him putting his head down for a while so Azteca could leap over him or just hanging out so that he could eat that big spear shot off the apron. Him staring down Mil like a madman was the best part of this. Mil looked a step above everyone else. The guy just exudes star power in this gimmick. He moves just a little slower than everyone but everything feels so deliberate and impactful. Again, I did like how Azteca hit his crazy spinning DDT the first time and then got destroyed on the second. The show uses blood relatively sparingly so seeing Dario come out with the gimmick was a striking moment. I can't wait for Rey vs Matanza. I can wait to see Mack and Cage up against each other again considering they just did that towards the end of last season.


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