Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 21: Ultima Lucha Cuatro - Part 1

TL: We have gone from this series being one of the most sought after pieces of wrestling IP in a really long time to it being available for free on Tubi to watch from the built-in service that comes with my Smart TV. Just in time for us to put this show to bed for good over Ultima Lucha Cuatro. It's been so long since I've watched this I had to go back and read what I wrote for the last couple episodes to familiarize myself with it again but even then, I'm not sure I'll get there. This is very much going to be in-the-moment, based on the ringwork stuff from me. Character work be damned.

ER: So detective Vazquez has lived through a thousand years of society and she's just a cop? The things she must have seen, the dynasties she saw fall...and she's an LA detective? Are there vampires that just open their own paint store?

TL: For being 1,000 years old, Vazquez looks fantastic. Good for her. Extremely happy that her and Aerostar completed the pendant, as they're now going to be able to withstand a guard attack while traversing the Hidden Temple for their lost tribal icon. Hoping Olmec makes an appearance on commentary tonight.

ER: Lots to talk about in just the intros, because Vampiro makes the most ridiculous faces for the duration of Matt Striker's opening spiel. Vampiro was acting like he was reading along with a script, and was making these bug eyed affirmative faces every time Striker would finish a line. Also, it just hit me that Vampiro has hair. He was a big fat guy who voluntarily was shaving his head, intentionally looking like the boat zombie from Zombie!? Nobody shaves their head just to look cool, it's always a choice that's made for them. But Vampiro has hair and he makes reaction faces bigger than the biggest Jeremy Borash TNA reaction faces. Also, Melissa Santos' had a great dress/headband combo, very flattering and a cool style.


The Rabbit Tribe (Paul London/The White Rabbit/El Bunny) vs. Sammy Guevara/XO Lishus/Ivelisse vs. The Reptile Tribe (Jeremiah Snake/Daga/Kobra Moon)

ER: This kicked ass, the kind of bananas match you want from a LU multiman. I do wish the Rabbit Tribe hadn't been eliminated so early, but I like what they did while they were there. This could have been a real mess, but it turned out to be the best kind of mess. All of the jumbled attacks worked well when everyone was in the ring together, Jeremiah throwing big straight kicks at anyone on his path, then tossing his own team to their death. Jeremiah THROWS Kobra to the floor with a powerbomb, bouncing her right off White Rabbit, who just picks her up off the ground and throws her into the ringpost. Two great back to back bumps from Kobra, and the craziest one was yet to come. The dive train was cool, with El Bunny hitting a tiny tope con hilo while Ivelisse held open the ropes, then Ivelisse bent over the top rope while standing on the middle rope so Guevara could vault over her onto the pile (the camera guy really zoomed right up Ivelisse's birth canal, so I can only assume this episode was guest directed by Larry Clark), then Ivelisse flipped over the ropes to cap it off. I dug how everyone scattered, giving every side of the Temple a cool view of different action, but Sammy and Kobra Moon fight up to the top and get a great tease where Guevara almost throws her right off...before hitting a nutso Spanish Fly off the camera stage instead. Even though the move was performed perfectly and everyone was in place to catch, it's still flat out nuts. Plus, they did a great job in editing to not show the actual floor until they were flying off, so you had no idea if there were seven people or zero people down there to catch them. There were some strong pinfall saves, nice kicks to the back of the head, great use of fake blood when White Rabbit jams his gloved fingers down Guevara's throat, an awesome bit where XO fights back against the whole Reptile Tribe, just a ton of fun. This match really felt like season 1 LU, which is nothing but a big compliment.

TL: It's so wild to see Killer Kross go from LU to Impact to becoming The Next Big Thing in NXT in the span of like 18 months. I remember when he called out Batista at Bloodsport and kinda scoffed, but now he's pretty undeniable, and as if on cue, he destroys all six of his opponents only to eat a quintuple superkick. Guevara's excitement is so palpable here, and it's really wild to me that he got used as fodder for Jake Strong like he did. The big Spanish Fly dive was really well done, and him getting the first pin to eliminate the Tribe was a nice touch, but again, with how Kross was built up throughout the season, it seemed like a waste of him here, which unfortunately seems to be this season's MO. The blood was a great touch, like Eric said, but I would have just liked to see a Kross/Guevara singles match, especially with how much Guevara has impressed in his AEW run. The final fall started off really well with the Ivelisse near-fall, and even dug Vampiro's comparison to a World Cup match where a team gets a red card and has to play with 10. Okay, the timing of the near falls here has been REALLY good, and has done a good job of building up the challengers as underdogs, and XO's fire out of the corner really played up, and the extra shot by Jeremiah to give Daga the submission was a nice touch. The booking was a bit much, but the match was exactly what it needed to be given the stips. Feels like the least interesting team won, though.


Ricky Mundo vs. Taya

ER: This is exactly what it should have been: a mostly one sided massacre to blow off a story that never had legs. Once Mundo's creepy doll got involved this went beyond a dark obsession story into something into something eyerolling with no chance of an interesting payoff. And so, the only answer was to have Taya take everything in a short match. I liked Taya landing heavy on a couple crossbodies, the curb stomp looked good, and the post match table spot with Taya letting out her ruined wedding aggression was the best this was going to be. It's smart to know your limits and I'm glad they didn't make this into some overblown epic that it was never going to be. They spent the correct amount of time on it, and you need that kind of smart editing.

TL: I'm not really into this at all because of Ricky more than anything, but Taya showed some nice fire. I wish it was more one-sided than it actually was, with a Taya steamrolling being more emphatic, but LU has always been about the hand-holding for references to previous parts of the storyline, so given that, they hit all the right notes and Taya stood tall. As Eric said, was exactly what it should have been.


Mask vs. Mask: Son of Havoc vs. Killshot

ER: This didn't work for me. It never felt like an actual big stip match, really it didn't feel any different from any other singles match these two have had against any other LU opponent. There were big spots, but every LU match with these guys has the exact kind of big spots that this match had, this match just had less of them (so I guess that means that they are more important?). Plus, the big spots didn't really look that great. Havoc's three big moments all saw him land physically short with his arms in front of him, with Striker even having to cover for his short SSP landing by saying he got Killshot with his head. The camera stand dive looked big, but Guevara's Spanish Fly 20 minutes earlier off that same camera stand looked way bigger. I liked the superplex onto the gurney, but the set ups for all these spots felt like they could have been tightened up in editing. The big shock is when Dumb Donald finally takes off his knit cap to reveal Shane Strickland!

TL: The matches that led up to this left a lot to be desired, even though I came away from them thinking Killshot was at least trying to do a bit more than just throw out spots, and figured maybe the blowoff could lead to something more focused, but the focus came more from them remembering walking through their more complicated sequences. And then after the first Killstomp, it slows to a halt once the gurney gets involved, with them chewing up airtime more than them building up to big spots including either that or the table Havoc introduces. I think the play was for the match to be more deliberate than the Hell of War match, which was basically like a 20-minute adrenaline shot, but instead, it came off plodding, and knowing both the Hell of War match and what Sammy did earlier in the night, not even that Havoc splash in the table came off as good. The superplex into the gurney was pretty damn insane, but for Havoc to survive that, a Killstomp, and then a Storm Cradle Driver seems a bit much. The only thought in my head is "I really hope this doesn't end on a roll-up" and I'm holding on tight. I think the reason I'm not feeling this match as much is because I've seen a lot of the stuff they've done better either earlier in the night (strikes, dives, nearfalls) or in previous matches including either guy, but hey, if you're gonna finish a guy, a Shooting Star Press on a guy tied to a gurney will get it done. "History has been made!" says Matt Striker, and I agree, this match is now in my past. There just wasn't enough drama here for me to buy into the nearfalls, nothing was really earned. It came off flat and hollow. And wouldn't you know it, it's Jermaine Strickland, who basically drops the mic and heads for NXT mediocrity, which I guess is better than what can be said for most folks on this show. At the very least, it got the women in the crowd ready to cry, which is what you really need from an apuestas match. But not before Dante Fox shows up in stolen valor for their tribute to the troops as Strickland heads for Orlando.


TL: It really does feel like we're crawling to the finish line of this marathon, but I also feel like, especially given how the finale of previous Ultima Luchas have gone, we're going to see something absolutely wild given the environment they're working, which is really all you can ask for a show doing its swan song. At least send us home on a high note, even if it's been more slog than passion project this season.


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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 17: The Moth and the Butterfly

TL: Oh my God, the opening cinematic with Aerostar telling Melissa he's seen the end of everything was extremely bad. Cringey bad. Like the SNL guest who can't read the cue cards off camera bad. Melissa had to have been fed every line she said. Aerostar, bless his heart, is doing what he can with this.

XO Lishus/Joey Ryan/Ivelisse vs. Paul London/The White Rabbit/El Bunny

ER: The return of Mascarita Sagrada to LU can only be a good thing, and Killer Kross finally makes a TV match, a fun late addition to the fed. This was a jump up from last week's trios match. The Rabbit Tribe is a fun stable and the mix of London/Sagrada/Kross is a twisted WAR team that totally works. Sagrada vs. XO Lishus was not a match I realized I wanted, but damn was it fun as hell as it was happening. Paul London bumps around for Ivelisse as well as any man in the fed has, a nice recovery for her after a sloppy performance last week. We got a huge London dropkick to the floor and a Sagrada stopped momentum dive to Ivelisse that somehow looked good. And they did a fun thing all match long by having Kross glower from the apron, with it practically a known conclusion that he was just going to end things the moment he stepped into the match. He did, and they finished on an awesome visual, Kross choking out Joey Ryan with a mandible claw, wearing gimmicked gloves with bloody fingers, like he was gouging into Ryan's esophagus.

TL: I'm stoked to see what Kross does here as the White Rabbit. Mascarita and Paul bring it more often than not, but Kross is here to be brooding and explosive (supposedly). The London unitard/powder white face paint combo is the right kind of weird. Ivelisse getting the hot tag here was certainly a choice. XO LIshus and Sagrada paired off somewhat nicely, and Sagrada just in general came off really well here. One of the better examples of his size not being played up as something of a detriment. I agree that the match-ending mandible claw visual was awesome, and shows how presence and intent goes a long way. The stuff surrounding this was fine, but the Kross payoff was about as good as it's gonna get. It's so weird that they bring him in now with only a few weeks to go and he goes over that strong, but my thought is they take the trios titles...and then the company folds? Sigh.

Killshot vs. Son of Havoc

ER: So I forgot what had been going on between Killshot and Son of Havoc, or if they even had anything, but Striker tells me this is a big match so I'll go with it. They did work it as if it were more important than the #1 contender's match last week, so maybe this is a big deal. They use way too much sound sweetening, but there was good stuff here. Son of Havoc hits a big tope and he's always landing too close to the Temple steps, and I could see these two stepping up and having a fun mask match. They felt like they had big match formula down in a good way here, even if I don't like some of their offense.

TL: Seeing Strickland as Isaiah Scott now in NXT allows him to show off some more personality but the offense still doesn't work with me yet. He needs to tighten things up a bit, and this match doesn't bode well for two guys who like to try stuff that come off incredibly choreographed. And while this did have hints of that, they didn't try to do as much as I thought! It at least had good intentions, and I thought for sure there was going to be a few spots that got too cute. This was fine. And now we get to see it again as an apuestas. THAT'S probably going to be when they get too cute and I yell and scream, but whatever.

TL: Moth gets some promo time and looks way more comfortable in pre-taped segments than with a live mic. Reklusa is a great wrestling name for Chelsea, too.

No DQ: Marty The Moth Martinez vs. Mariposa

ER: This was great, easily one of the best LU matches in this cursed season. I think we'll have to do an actual ranked Season 4 Top 10 matches list when we're done with this. There's a strong chance that I won't have anything from this season on our MOTY List, and there have been strong representatives from the other 3 seasons. There were many reps from season 1, several from season 2, less in season 3, but none so far 17 episodes in to season 4. This came damn close, a really fun and violent brawl with Mariposa taking a cruel beating and firing back with some inventive comebacks. We built up to a couple of very strong nearfalls, more effective than anything I can remember this season. Martinez really beats her up, and I think it actually worked better because they have been presented as having a weird relationship for their entire time in LU. They've established that we could really expect these two to treat each other however, so the intergender thing worked for it. Mariposa took a great beating and bled, got slammed into walls and even powerbombed on the floor! Her comebacks were logical and violent, at one point burying Moth in about 15 chairs, all throwing hard at him, and late in the match she punts him right in the balls as payback for his shot to the crotch at the beginning of the match. I get the Reklusa interference (and love the name too) but I was enjoying the match so much that I was hoping they'd build to something more special for a finish. But this was good, and the postmatch beating Marty gave her felt edgier than LU has felt in awhile. Fans are super hot for the Moth/Pentagon title match, and even though Pentagon is probably the guy I'm least interested in watching on this current roster, I am now foolishly excited for that match.

TL: Oh HELL YES. MORE CHEERLEADER MELISSA. Low key, she's been one of the best match for match performers in the show's history, and I'm stoked to see her get a showcase match here. The start was great, the headbutt from Mariposa, the low blow, the vicious beatdown and mask ripping in the corner by Marty, Mariposa flying into the stands and then SHE BLEEDS ON THE CHAIR SHOT. And then Martinez whips her headfirst into the table like a goddamn madman and this has my attention pretty easily from the get go. Marty then powerbombs her into the grate and then sits out on the floor with it; a sequence that looks kinda blah in other matches, but because of the carnage on the outside so far, really fits in as Marty dominating her early on. They're going for it and it's like they woke this show up a bit. And then the madness of that chair pileup spot during the Mariposa comeback, and Vampiro literally jumping for joy as Mariposa rains down two dozen or so thrown chairs on Marty. I can't get over how much this rules, to be honest. When she set up the chair, I thought she was gonna go crazy and hit the Kudo Driver through it, but the Samoan Drop was nasty as all hell, too. Amazing near falls in this match on her two attempts. Then Marty retains with Pentagon's Fear Factor to retain after Reklusa interference to rub it in. Spectacular stuff, an absolute burst of energy on a show that has long needed it, easily the best match this season. Mariposa remains one of my favorite wrestlers in the history of the show, and even though for whatever reason they didn't give her much to work with in-ring, she absolutely crushed it every time she was given an opportunity to shine. Marty is gonna die for us in the Cero Miedo match (let's be honest: he ain't topping Vampiro from the first one) and that will be fun but man, even without spoilers, it's easy to see how things are going to end up. Five more episodes to go...

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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 10: A Snake Scorned

Saltador vs. Matanza

ER: A good cult leader occasionally needs to sacrifice one of his acolytes to either test their faith or further control them, but you gotta be really careful when you only have a couple followers to start with. You can't sacrifice your entire cult, you need to build up some numbers before you start sacrificing. I liked Saltador all tingly from molly, tickling and caressing Matanza, hitting a nice pop-up dropkick, then getting wasted. It does come off silly that they keep calling these minor beatings "sacrifices" (and really, we've seen tons worse one-sided beatings in this fed), when we've already had two ACTUAL murders happen this season. Taking a powerslam feels a little bit underwhelming when we're comparing it to a beheading.

TL: I think London deciding not to be like Jim Jones or David Koresh and going down with the folks whose minds he’s enslaved is a neato twist on the idea of a cult. Like he got an advanced copy of “Wild Wild Country” and realized the best way to control folks is to just be the outspoken leader and have honest-to-god minions. Kind of self-perpetuates the idea you’re that much more important than the others AND gets the point across that you also can’t fully protect anyone from anything that leads to their imminent demise. We all get sacrificed eventually.

Point is, molly or not, Salty should have known better.

TL: Killshot with a good cocky promo and it might be the most I’ve ever liked him when he wasn’t in a death match. Like actual motivation for him now. Totally throws me off.

Killshot vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: This had a lot of really dumb dance partner practice run stuff, a couple parts where it genuinely looked like they were just practicing their routine so they could be ready for the semis. For every move that looked cool (Azteca leaping from top rope to apron to give Killshot a rana, Killshot hitting his Fosbury Flop dive to the floor), there was another moment that just looked like poor exhibition; Azteca and Killshot struggling to get a knucklelock that allowed Killshot to get Azteca on his shoulders (what is with so many people having offense now that requires their opponent to be on their shoulders? Is this stupid Kenny Omega influence? I can't think of a more unnatural spot for an opponent to end up than seated on your shoulders, like Killshot took his girlfriend Azteca to Glastonbury), or one awful spot where Killshot took ages to set up an arm submission, Azteca just standing still while Killshot walks around him holding his arm, both men working on material while we watch. Match was as expected: Had some big moves, none of the moves hurt the other enough to keep them from hitting their own moves.

TL: I really don’t get why folks who are athletic need to do these cooperative spots that never look good or fluid or smooth. It’s a really messed up way to look at it from a psychology standpoint: The human mind anticipates the big move and basically ignores everything leading up to it, which is why spots like that still get pops. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense. Only if it looks good at the end. There’s a couple spots here that read like, “Okay, so you can read the dude’s mind and anticipate his moves, but you can’t actually move when he’s doing the move.” It’s just mind numbing. The Killstomp 100% should have gotten a 2 count (maybe not even that) because Killshot didn’t even hit him even barely with it. The DDT to finish wasn’t so flashy that it outranked things like a DVD on the apron. Just really, really weird match layout, and that’s saying something for Lucha Underground.

ER: Aerostar/Drago bit was a fun tiny fantasy moment of undying friendship between a dragon and a spaceman, with the music doing a good job to capture the mood. It's tough to film male friendship, but I liked this. It was short and simple and I think they need more tiny character moments like this. With commonplace murders they've gone beyond over the top, and Striker just treats every single match like it's extremely important, so really nothing feels important at all. But friendship? That's something I can get behind.

TL: On my feed that I watched for this episode, the music bled over into the beginning of Melissa’s ring intro for the trios titles match and I figured it was because the producers loved the beat that much. I really don’t blame them. It was like a hip-hop version of those old silent films where you see folks move their mouths and then a screen card comes on with what they said afterwards. Like if you did an old Laurel and Hardy film but with someone producing the ragtime music on Garageband.

Daga/Jeremiah Snake/Kobra Moon vs. Son of Havoc/Killshot/The Mack

ER: Striker is so weird underselling Vibora's decapitation. Minutes ago he was flipping out for a dance aerobics routine and sounding like he'd never witnessed a tornado DDT before, now he says during a ring entrance "Well you may note Vibora is absent, as we just witnessed his decapitation," so he clearly knows about a murder, doesn't care about it, and is also going to continue talking about Worldwide Underground as good guys. The vibe of this whole season has been pretty fucked. But this match was really fun, and cooperative in a good way as any cooperation lead to an immediate crash. We had a ton of dives (loved Havoc hitting a move and then flying past the ringpost with one, it's typically a good idea to lift something from Santito if you can), Mack hitting a big flip dive, Moon getting tossed into a dive (like that trend, make her into a man-propelled wrecking ball), and we got a few nice showcases of Mack and Jeremiah's stiff work. The match starts with a weak Daga strike combo, so it's alarming when Mack comes in and really pounds him with an elbow. Like, oh, yeah, that's what that's supposed to look like. I like how Snake and Mack interact (I keep accidentally typing "Snack", which feels like a name Meltzer might give Callihan if he continues to chub out, and now I want a Halloween episode where Mack dresses like Callihan and calls himself Jeremiah Snack, box of cookies in hand), like how Snake cuts off Mack's turnbuckle handstand with a stiff kick. This whole thing had a real nice flow, and there's no reason the multiman division shouldn't be the strongest in the fed. The title win felt a little underwhelming, even after a good match, and Killshot berating Havoc after the loss will surely lead to another Killshot feud I don't want to see. But overall, this was a fun one.

TL: HA. I also noticed Striker basically no-selling a decapitation based on all the madness-based murders that have happened this season. Didn’t even go with the Owen Voice or anything. Just another line read. “Lucha Underground: We Got Murders!” He also no-sold Mack’s amazing satin jacket. As someone who weighed 300+ pounds a short while ago, seeing Sami start to be a bit heavy makes me take pause given where he was during the Finlay matches. The dives were fun, Mack was the most fun, the wacky tandem offense with Sami and Kobra was fun. Finish was deflating. Killshot unraveling after being so cocky doesn’t do it for me. We’ve already seen brooding Killshot, don’t need more brooding in my pro wrestling. The postmatch Killstomp was probably the best one ever because he just sprung up and did it. No posturing or bullshit or nothing. But yeah, I don’t need to see a super light-hitting feud between these guys.

ER: We get a match ending brawl between Cage and Pentagon that starts fairly lethargic, but gets good when Pentagon brains a member of Metalachi with his own guitar. Striker actually made me chuckle with "Probably the biggest hit they'll ever have!" We do focus a bit too much on a black priest with a bad pun name (Father Rick O'Shea, har har har) making big gasping faces like he's permanently reacting to some Drag Race shade. And I think this might be the debut of a silly arm cracking sound effect when Pentagon snaps his arm. I'm pessimistic about the match next week, but I'll hope for the best.

TL: Cage out here looking like he’s wearing something out of Shane Douglas’ closet circa 1996, and yeah, it starts off slow but really picks up. Not the best LU brawl, but not the worst. I’m more than over Pentagon at this point, and I don’t think it’ll be a bomb-throwing match, which is what it should be, but I just want it to be a car wreck at this point.

TL: How dare Eric no-sell Mack taking the incredibly tacky witches hat off Cueto’s head, putting it on his own head in response to being put in a “Haunted House Match” with Mil Muertes, and saying “Trick or Treat, mother fade to black”. Virtuoso performance by the LU MVP.

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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 8: The Ranks of the Reptiles

TL: Vampiro (and Striker) Fashion Update: Alumni of perhaps the worst frat ever, and that covers some ground. I have no idea why they decided an announce team needed letterman jackets, but here we are, with an old corner and an overweight defensive end reliving the glory days.

Daga vs. "The Darewolf" PJ Black

ER: This was one of those matches that got a lot of time, and was instantly forgotten the moment it was over. Both guys are okay but are lifeless. I forget why Daga is one of the lizard people, but what immediately struck me as strange about this match was that Black was clearly working as heel, while Daga was getting the babyface comebacks. This was the case in the Mundo/Vibora match, and I get that Worldwide Underground are heels....but the other team are LIZARD PEOPLE. There has not been a single piece of science fiction literature where trusting a race of lizard people has lead to prosperity. LU keeps making things so much more shades of grey, that we're now rooting for Lizard People over a group of people who are just vaguely dickheadish. I thought a lot of Black's flying looked bad here, a lot of it being rejected AJ Styles offense with distance not figured out. That quebrada DDT rarely looks good, and there was a funny spot where Black goes for a springboard moonsault off the top, Daga moves a few inches, and Black misses him by a couple feet. Daga is like the least memorable "That kind of guy" in wrestling. I've watched a couple dozen Daga matches, and damned if I can remember watching a couple dozen Daga matches. That guy is wallpaper, but wallpaper that does a couple fast rope running spots and some kick combos. The moments I liked best here were when Black was grounded, and just landing decent punches, nice forearms smashes, and eyepokes. That kind of stuff looks good, he does it well, and it's far more interesting than seeing that stupid as hell sunset flip reversal of a top rope rana, or seeing Daga take the most scenic trip possible to roll into a crucifix submission. This kind of thing is one of my least favorite things.

TL: A minute into the match, Black misses his quebrada, but doesn’t really sell it, just stays on his hands and knees waiting for Daga to hit the ropes and dropkick him. And it’s not edited. There’s a lot of smooth cutaways to awkward camera angles to hide some missteps, but even then, it’s not enough to save it. Daga is truly lucha Noam Dar, an elite athlete with good looking offense who has very little clue to put on a cohesive wrestling match. At least Dar is good on Twitter. Everything in this match seemed like a chore. The finish was overly elaborate. The postmatch was…whatever. Striker calls either Morrison or Black Mike Trout. Pretty sure Kobra messed up on her promo. That sure was a 10-minute wrestling segment. I kinda want an oral history of that segment because I guarantee the editing process on that whole thing is probably the toughest job in the history of the show.

And now after the match The WU clears the ring like total babyfaces and then are portrayed in the promos after as the good guys, which, again, makes sense because the other people are an evil LIZARD TRIBE. It's a having cake and eating it situation. A lot of WU work better as heels, and they are heels, and a lot of the lizards aren't good at working heel, so they have naturally worked face against WU...it's just that none of it actually makes sense.

ER: I really wouldn't mind a return of ghost Big Ryck. We really only saw him against smaller flippy guys, and it would be cool to see him take on some of the bigger LU dudes. Only as a ghost, I guess.

TL: Mack apparently has never ridden Pirates of the Caribbean to prepare him for seeing Big Ryck’s skull (with a cigar sticking out of it, no less; where’s the damn crow perched atop it?) Although him saying, “Damn, woman. They need to put a bell on you or something!” when Katrina appeared got a chuckle out of me.

The Rabbit Tribe vs. Killshot/Son of Havoc/The Mack

ER: I really liked the Rabbit Tribe portions of this, but at a certain point it became the Killshot show and it didn't grab me the same. Remember what I've said this season about how they seem to be focusing on the guys I like least? That's definitely a running theme. I guess that theme has always been around in LU - we got an awful lot of triumphant Sexy Star moments - but this season seriously feels like you can take my "least want to see this guy featured" performer in any given match, and that's the guy that's getting gushed about by Striker. There's just too much pout and pomp to make Killshot work for me, and an reliance on strikes that only work with classic LU sound sweetening. Killshot was by far the most featured guy of the champs, though Havoc hit a nice dive down the stretch, Mack hit a big ol' bullfrog splash. London and Saltador looked great though. London is fully reenergized, throwing everything he has explosively, snapping kicks and adding in a headbutt, missing as big as he hits. Saltador is so smooth and always pulls out a new trick, and I loved his fast tope con hilo here. Really this fed just needs to turn into a kick punch fed. That would be more edgy than stacked tower powerbomb spots in 2018.

TL: Vampiro with an all-time out there call in this match, going all “Gangs of New York” references and then talking about how Mala Suerte is a vegan and that’s why he’s moving around so well. Then he tries to rename a Samoan Drop. Then he and Striker plug Modelo. London’s outfit has a sparkly codpiece. How does THAT not come up? Don’t know why we need a Tower of Doom spot in 2018 still. Don’t know why we need Killshot getting featured when Mack is right there. Mala Suerte at least throwing some sweet shots. Saltador with a nice somersault plancha. London, as per usual, bumps around well. Nice Havoc tope. HEAVY as hell Mack splash. Killshot steals the pin and I’m supposed to care, I guess. Sure. Reaaallllly struggling not to just keep pushing the fast forward button.

Cage/King Cuerno vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: I really didn't need to see Pentagon working a 0.8 vintage HHH match. Pentagon would have had to win this thing for him to be working full Haitch, but he is just not a squash match worker who looks credible against these two. Hats off especially to Cage for stumbling around the ring getting into perfect position for everything, taking a lunatic flipping piledriver, taking a slingblade on his neck, catching a flip dive perfectly, and Cuerno was right there with him. I think Cuerno is the only guy I've ever seen manage to drop on his head while taking a backcracker. Pentagon does look back, he just doesn't look as good as either of the two guys he was mostly having no problems handling. My favorite moment of the match might have been Cuerno throwing a nice low knee in the corner while the ref wasn't watching, but damn Cage throwing Pentagon into a Cuerno kneelift would be a great Destruction Crew type finisher that would result in a million dollar jobber payout. There was plenty of cool stuff here on the Cuerno/Cage side of things, but MAN am I not wanting any more steps towards Triple Penta.

TL: Jeeeesus. Pentagon handling Cage like he did was a bit hard to swallow, and now he’s in a damn handicap match with Cuerno? This is truly Kenny Omega IWGP Champ level-stuff here. Just right down our throats without even a tap on the top of the head to prepare us. Penta at least isn’t lazy in this, but he also isn’t enthralling, either. One of my favorite things in wrestling is when makeshift tag teams find a way to throw out some good double team offense, and yeah, that lift into the knee was great stuff. I think if Penta had won this, I would have asked Eric if we could have skipped ahead to the point where he lost the belt, spoilers be damned.

TL: Eric no-selling the ending skit, which is Mundo dressed like Indiana Jones, saying how much he hates snakes, and then going to the Snake Pit to take on the Reptiles, where Taya cuts off the head of the Luchasaurus. This is so unbelievably bad that it’s probably the best skit in LU history, too. For THIS episode to end THIS way is either the world’s biggest heat check or the writing team crossing the last crazy idea they had off their list and tapping out. Guess this is the Year of Murder on Lucha Underground. Man, I miss Pindar.

ER: So what happened, was I sent my draft to Tim but accidentally didn't copy the part where I actually acknowledged a very tall lizard getting beheaded. Go figure, that Vibora has the best couple appearances of his career, and now he's dead. All the babyfaces on this show seem fine with murder at this point, why didn't any of them have these flexible morals when Sexy Star was still around? Also, can someone murder Pentagon? I'm tired of seeing him.


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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 7: The Gift That Keeps on Giving

ER: I have not noticed the older mom in pigtails as one of the LU fans. Boy were all of those people behind Striker and Vampiro something. A mom and dad with their two large adult sons? Plenty of large sons in the crowd, but you don't always see their small white parents.

TL: Amazing that a doctor was able to repair Famous B’s leg due to a possible compound fracture in 2018, when things like compound fractures apparently lead to amputation. Really happy modern medicine won out in the end. Also, guaranteed that mom has some stories to tell about going to the Forum in ’77 to watch Roddy Piper cause riots in his feud with Chavo Guerrero. Imagining her asking Vampiro if he knows “La Cucaracha” the entire show and smiling. Nothing better than a middle-aged woman wrestling fan.

Sammy Guevara vs. "The Savage" Jake Strong

ER: Gotta say I'm still surprised by the by crowd reactions from Strong. Although now thinking about it I'd like to see a grappling match with he and Cobb. I know they've wrestled before, and I don't expect the grappling match to happen in LU (since it would be extremely dumb to see Matanza working mat exchanges), but I bet it would be good. This started as another Strong showcase, and it was fine, with big throws and his big running splash. But I liked that Guevara got some hope spots, and that huge moonsault off the balcony. I don't think we've gotten a balcony dive yet this season, which has obviously been a staple of previous seasons. The Temple itself has been so much less of a character this season. I don't really have much of a sense of what we're in the middle of, it was nice having an idea of the internal layout of the last Temple. The Guevara moonsault looked nuts, camera picked up the height great, and I liked Guevara's run. Better than I expected.

TL: Strong has looked pretty damn good in his LU run, surprising me a little bit, to be honest. Him manhandling Guevara to start was really fun to watch. Guevara’s big dive was something else, although from the match layout, having his ankle torqued on like that and then doing a 30-foot moonsault doesn’t really add up. Then he’s walking around on offense and doing a springboard right back into the ankle lock and Strong finishes with an unrealistic pop of the ankle sound effect. Good for Guevara getting a chance to shine, though, and yeah, the moonsault is up there with the Angelico roof dive from the end of Season 1.

Vinny Massaro vs. Matanza

ER: It's great that Vinny is still somehow making TV. It feels like they're really dragging out his eventual murder. Who would have had Mascarita Sagrada getting murdered before Vinny? Matanza chokes Vinny's pizza delivery boy and Vinny stands up for him, hits the snoring elbow (which always lands hard, while having the absolutely slowest spin), but Matanza headbutts him on a follow up. Wrath of the Gods is hit on a big heavy guy, you knew what this would be.

TL: Friend of my Twitter Feed and 2018 Jun Akiyama in Mexico Opponent Vinny Mass out here doing more in two minutes than most folks have done with 20 on this show. Got an honest-to-God Snoring Elbow in and this was exactly what it was supposed to be. “It’s pineapple!”

ER: Vinny followed my twitter feed for about an hour last year. I got the notification that he was following me, checked the link to his page, and saw he was no longer following me. He must have seen old reviews of me talking about lazy Ultimo Panda performances.

The Mack/Son of Havoc/Ivelisse vs. King Cuerno/Dezmond X/Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: In case you haven't forgotten, anything involving Papa Cueto speaking for any length of time is almost automatically the worst thing on any episode. Striker keeps calling Dezmond a rookie for some reason, even though he's been showing up on Impact for a couple years. This was an inoffensive match that ended rather abruptly and never really got into a next gear. Ivelisse looks silly pulling offense on Cuerno, it just doesn't work. Mack gets the bulk of this and looks good, as usual, caps it off with a giant fat guy flip dive. The match was used to set up the following match, and it felt the whole time like it was being used to set up another match.

TL: Is Ivelisse a Muse fan? She must be a Muse fan with that entrance music. Also, Eric, Striker is obviously using the Meltzer Rookie of the Year rules in regard to Desmond. TV’s the only thing that matters, man. I usually look for booking tells with the Cueto nonsense but it’s a bit difficult to see who goes on here and at least there’s intrigue. Mack needs only 45 seconds in the match to outshine everyone else, as per usual. Seriously, strap the damn rocket to his back! Desmond sure looked like a rookie with the most obvious thigh slap in Lucha Underground history, which is covering some ground. AND WE GET A MACK HOT TAG? Yeeeeaaaaaaah, baby! The tornillo was choice. Havoc’s Sasuke Special has this insane velocity to it, too. Truly impressive back-to-back dives. Then Havoc gets caught with the Thrill of the Hunt by Cuerno for the upset. This leads to some awesome Muertes post-match shenanigans. Kinda hard not for me to like this segment when you get to highlight both Mack and Muertes.

ER: Even with Meltzer rules I assume that Pop! is in more houses than El Rey, but as someone who has watched Schitt's Creek through multiple times I imagine I make up an actual percentage of Pop! viewers.

King Cuerno vs. Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Dezmond X

ER: The Gift of the Gods title means nothing to me at this point, so I don't care about the silly ways that we got to Dragon Azteca Jr: Champion. I can't get too excited when Mil Muertes lost his medallion just because, and Azteca wound up on a winning trios team. Azteca has lost more matches than he has won in LU, constantly feels like a guy who backs into every gain he makes. BUT, I came away from this match very, very impressed with Dezmond X. I've liked him before, but this felt like the best performance of his that I've seen. I really liked an Impact match last year against Ishimori, for context of what I thought of his prior work, but this felt like another level. He owned in this match, throwing impressive snap punches (let's be honest, he won me over when he ran in with a nice punch and shook his fist out, swoon), throws cool body shots, offense looked tightened up, and then he hit a gorgeous flip dive off one of the higher points of the temple (awesome catch by the other two as well). Cuerno feels like a major stock falling guy, no matter how much hyperbolic praise is heaped on him by Striker, but his tope still looks killer as hell. One spot I really hated: Cuerno holding Azteca in an Indian Deathlock, and Dezmond leaps at Cuerno looking for a wheelbarrow roll up. What a stupid piece of dance wrestling. Dezmond had just been kicking and punching people the entire match, but now that Cuerno nicely has his leg tied up and is standing prone in the middle? Sure, that's when you leap at him and look for a roll up so he can catch you in a full nelson. It's a dumb looking show piece that ground a nice pace to a half, for an end result that is almost as exciting as a magician guessing your card on the third try. My eyes are definitely open to Dezmond X after this one, hope he gets a decent "replacement Puma" run here.

TL: Three-way matches in LU have actually delivered more often than not, hilariously. Seems really odd to say that given three-ways are designed to not be aesthetically pleasing. This was what you’d expect from these three, where they get cute with the three-way spots and there are dives galore. Once this got going, this was more of your generic cookie-cutter brand of match, which makes me regret my topic sentence of this paragraph. If this was a Mack-centric three-way instead, there would have been way more enjoyment for me. Still, very happy to eat my words on Desmond, who definitely showed more this week than I expected and had the full repertoire on display like Eric said. Also, amazing to think that on the same show where Guevara hit a damn moonsault off the balcony that Desmond doing the flip dive off the top of the entranceway looked just as good, if not better. Ending was a bit too cute, as I didn’t need the backflip off the top leading into the top rope wheelbarrow drop. My biggest issue with three ways in general: Have to do these spots that look cool but either don’t make sense or actively take away from the match. A mixed bag of a match that had its moments. Really difficult for me to see Dragon as anywhere close to Pentagon given how Pentagon’s been booked, but hey, that’s why I’m writing on here and not in a production room in a Los Angeles studio.

TL: I was trying to figure out which 90’s prestige film-based porn producer’s house in the Valley that Marty and Mariposa were staying at during their non-sensical promo. Jackie Treehorn would have had a much nicer place even as he was just starting his career, although he’d be into the glass tabletops. Maybe Jack Horner? If we saw a pool, I could imagine it being a spot Horner would have been able to hunker down in between shoots on the couch in the living room. Were most porn producers in the 70’s named Jack? You know, don’t look it up. I’m going to assume the answer is unequivocally “Yes.”


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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 5: Sacrificio

TL: Vampiro Fashion Update: Palm Beach, Florida area retiree who spends every afternoon during the week at a Perkin’s knockoff for happy hour.

Cortez Castro vs. Matanza

ER: Castro's identity as a cop is now common knowledge (though it was amusing to see people in the Temple reacting to Cueto's news with shock). It feels like we've known this for several years now, and now we know that a Cueto knows, and really that should have lead to an in-ring murder. The fact that newly re-monstered Matanza did not murder an undercover cop in the Temple feels a bit like, ahem, a cop out.

TL: So, let me get this straight: Papa Cueto knew he was a cop? And had sources? And didn’t tell his son? Cold-blooded. But hey, it leads to Matanza almost over-rotating on a Wrath of the Gods. Pay windah. Don’t get paid by the hour. If you love something, don’t do it for free. (In this case, the thing Matanza loves is murder) These are all sayings that make sense for this match.

Joey Ryan vs. Ivelisse

ER: Glad we can edit in absurd sound effects for Ivelisse's strikes, but we can't edit out a guy trying to start a "Suck his dick" chant. Eva Lease pulls off the Eva Marie look much better than Eva Marie, looks cool on her. I'm over Joey Ryan's shtick, and I'm pretty over intergender matches, and I'm completely over intergender matches with Joey Ryan. So we get plenty of attention on Ryan's lollipop getting placed in his trunks, we get a zoom in on Ivelisse's during an armbar, we get Joey trying to make Ivelisse touch his dick and later we get Ryan trying to force her to lick his lollipop. Derp derp derp. The wrestling within the match was fine, I like Ivelisse's energy and there were a couple fun lucha spots, but the size difference stuff does make it a little silly. Eh, it was fine.

TL: I’m trying to think of a match I don’t look forward to more than a Joey Ryan intergender match in 2018. I know that amongst the wrestlers of today, he’s very much respected because of the business he was able to bring in while working a super safe style, but it’s also a style that gets old very quickly. Plus, penis druids. Penis druids. An actual line said by Matt Striker in this match: “Ivellise reminding me of Antonio Inoki!” If there’s anything to take away in this match, I liked the suddenness of the finish. That’s all I got.

Killshot vs. Son of Havoc vs. The Mack

ER: Tecnico trios champs forced to fight each other in a triple threat in Lucha Underground? This doesn't sound like anything we've seen before! I warmed to this as the match went on, especially once Mack went on a rampage. Mack really should be at world title level, and really should be in NXT, and really would get over on the main brand. It's only a matter of time. He was awesome here, wiggling his belly while doing a top rope headstand, obliterating Havoc with a pounce (great sideways bump from Havoc too), hits a big dive, awesome high kick on Killshot, really just adds a ton of excitement to a match when he's flying around. Killshot as a character and as a wrestler I don't really get, his stuff looks more awkward than cool to me, and the character is just underbaked. Havoc is a really good guy to have in a match like this, so he's probably an undervalued guy in that sense (since LU loves this type of match). Glad Mack got the win.

TL: I like the stipulation of two medallions up for grabs because it actually puts an emphasis on not getting pinned, which makes the match more aggressive as a whole. It also, hilariously, makes the three-way stuff start to make sense: Nobody wants to be the guy on the wrong side of anything. The only time I enjoyed an opening mirror sequence in LU. You can tell Eric and I think much higher of Mack than LU does, it seems. But hey, gotta make sure Callihan keeps getting chances, I guess. As he normally does, Mack is the highlight of the match, but this time, my cynicism with a splash of optimism is not necessary because Mack actually wins???? Really hope he wins the belt and gets another shot. Loved the ending, too. Weird for me to come out of a three-way thinking it wasn’t anything more than eh, but this wasn’t too bad at all.

Mil Muertes vs. Cage

ER: Looking at the current LU roster and there might not be another match I'd want to see more, and it's kind of nuts that these two have only matched up a couple times. We could have a total hoss feud, if this match and their trios last season (with Crane) are any indication. This felt like their take on a 1999 Attitude era match (though I guess this whole fed is their take on 1999 Attitude era stuff, so...), with ref bumps from multiple refs, man hiding in crowd interference, and garbage spots. The real meat of the match was both guys showing off how hard they could hit the other, showing off strength spots, and showing off flying spots. We get a bunch of cool full force shoulderblocks and lariats that get shrugged off, Cage shows off a nice rana and Muertes shows off right back with a cool headscissors. Cage hits a big flip dive, Muertes is great at flying into walls, and the powerlift suplex from the middle rope is always awesome. All the stuff with guys hitting the ref worked for me, because the refs all took an absolute freaking thrashing. Muertes wrecks a guy with a spear, Cage hits his fullspeed 360 lariat right into the neck of another, Rick Knox takes a Muertes' chokeslam in brutal fashion; googling Rick Knox to make sure I had his name correct, I saw that he had surgery due to a broken collarbone suffered during the tapings...and this had to be it right? For his sake I hope he didn't have to endure anything worse than this. Pentagon was hiding in plain sight in the crowd to jump Cage, which would have looked stupid in most other settings but I liked it here. Wouldn't mind seeing this match like half a dozen more times.

TL: Super weird to think this is the first time in LU they’ve faced off one on one, but I also hope this is more like a Muertes match instead of a Cage match. Then two minutes in and I regret saying that. They’re just full throttle from the get-go and nothing slows down. The way they trade stuff totally works, and when they show off the power stuff against each other, it’s really awe inspiring. Cage’s outside in superplex was effortless here. I like the ref stuff, and poor Rick Knox lands HARD on the awesome Muertes chokeslam. I loved the Pentagon crowd reveal, something that truly came off as surprising and cool. Don’t know if we need to be seeing unprotected chairshots in 2018 but Penta can swing it. Cage spikes himself on the finishing flatliner. This was really fun, top flight Cage match, and for me, right there with the Cage/PCO match from Americanrana earlier this year. Penta doing the Ciampa wave was hilarious, and I don’t know how they do it, but I’m with Eric: More Cage/Muertes, please.

ER: I liked the vibe of the Rabbit Tribe video, and apparently Mascarita Sagrada got back this season just to be bludgeoned to death by Paul London and a big wooden club. Castro is the dude that needed an onscreen murder, it's weird to waste that visual on someone like Sagrada. I'm sure there was a chance that "this wasn't real, the Tribe was on a trip," but it still spoils that visual. And I'm not sure how they want people to view London going forward: LSD-soaked goofball who still dies on bumps? or is he a dangerous PCP-charged murderer who police found eating his roomates lungs out of his chest, screaming? I'm going to need to know. I want to know if there's a chance of him getting booked in a No DQ match and just murdering someone. I don't think we've had that happen on a wrestling program (I have not seen some 80s territory stuff, so don't know for sure).

TL: I still don’t know why Sagrada just stood there and let it happen, but the visual of London’s white suit getting blood splattered all over it is classic grindhouse stuff and just makes Paul look even more crazed than normal. This very much could be a Kevin Sullivan-in-Florida situation, but the in-ring violence has been very much your normal wrestling fare so far in LU outside of some deathmatches. I don’t know if we’re gonna have an Invader 3/Manny Fernandez-type incident on this show, but London’s the guy to do it with.


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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 2: Darkness and the Monster

ER: When I told Tim I was done reviewing the 2nd episode of the season I believe his exact words were "Good lord you watched the 2nd episode!?" I never knew when to quit.

TL: Good lord, watching the recap of the season premiere just brought back some terrible memories, and then the video package literally finished with the following Matt Striker quote: “Destruction has torn through this virgin domain.” I don’t even want to know where he got the idea for that line, and I now feel more gross for having watched it. Must’ve blocked it out the first time he said it.

Catrina needs to get her lifeforce back, Cuerno doesn’t give a shit, and I just want to know what local Orange County Republican donor so graciously gave the production team access to his hunting lodge for this incredible piece of acting.

The Mack/Killshot/Son of Havoc vs. Big Bad Steve/Sammy Guevara/Jake Strong

ER: I was pretty surprised to see the big reaction for Jack Swagger. Is that a guy that people are excited to see in 2018? I mean we saw hundreds of Swagger matches. Did anybody think there was some untapped potential, something that we didn't see in those matches that can now be tapped, now that he's untethered by The Man? He certainly doesn't do anything here that makes me ache to see more. We've seen enough standing ankle locks, though Sammy Guevara certainly makes his postmatch falling lariat look fantastic. Mack had a lot of great moments here, bumping big to the floor, hitting a great Pounce as Guevara flew backwards off the top, and throwing several nice strikes at Strong while Strong stood there holding an ankle lock like a doof. Steve Pain is a guy who needs to be in this kind of match way more, instead he kind of hangs back and eats a stunner at the end. You know what kind of great base shit Steve can do, let me see Killshot and Havoc work off that more, not trade flips with Guevara.

TL: I can’t get over how Infamous Inc. gets introduced between Famous B’s bad Stokely impression and Brenda’s terrible screeches, but yeah, I was surprised with Strong’s pop, too. Considering what just happened at All In in regards to the “hip” wrestling fan’s views, just no longer being associated with WWE makes you that much better in their eyes, I guess. It’s also interesting to watch Killshot in this environment now considering he’s presented as a big deal both in MLW and EVOLVE, and especially after he ended Season 3, he’s almost just another guy here, and gets outshined by Guevara pretty heavily. Love that Big Bad Steve was here specifically to take the fall, like he was the guy under the Yellow Dog hood or something. Like most matches in LU, lot of guys not used correctly while one guy gets the shine. This was used as a vehicle to get Strong over, but he didn’t do much in a way that makes me want to see more of him.

Drago vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: This was fine, and was more than I'd enjoyed Drago in awhile. I thought a lot of his kicks looked good, liked his fast roll-up, took a big suplex bump off the bottom buckle, hit a slingblade that actually made it look like a move that would hurt someone (although it's odd he's still doing it in a fed where Pentagon is champ). Now, some of that MAY have been Azteca having no problem being flung onto the back of his head, but it looked good is what I'm getting at. Azteca is a guy who seems to relish getting dropped on his head, and he's often busy in matches, always thinking, always there with a spit take to sell a strike...and it's good, but I wonder if it wouldn't come off better if he were less busy? I think he needs to let things sink in a little, breathe a bit.

TL: Ah yes, the ol’ lucha mirror sequence standoff. Surprised it took this long in the season to get our first one, honestly. After that, I actually liked this more than I thought I would. One thing I hate about those mirror sequences is that they’re always just for show, but then the two big sequences after this were just as quick, but led to one guy getting the advantage instead of something more than an exhibition. I’m a huge fan of rollups off the top as finishers; thought it was awesome when Sin Cara would do it during his Lucha Dragons days. Agree that Azteca is better playing from underneath than 50/50, as his time across from Matanza was his best stuff. Guess the postmatch is to set up Kobra/Taya, which is a shrug emoji for me, but at least we got a good foul from Johnny on Drago.

ER: Catrina had a so-so wig in season 3, so I guess I shouldn't be too shocked by how outright bad Cueto's wig is, but....for all the money they spend on other things, you'd thing they'd have a respectable wig budget. A good wig is expensive, and it feels like something that an executive saw and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. "I'm fine shelling out money for Godfrey, but you expect us to pay HOW much to give this woman bangs?"

TL: I think the Cueto facial hair trips me out more than the Doc Brown wig, and I do love that he has that one weird eye. Wardrobe for this show is just so weird, which I guess is part of the appeal, but yeah, there were definitely some choices made in this vignette.

Pentagon Dark vs. Matanza

ER: This wasn't bad, but we got a comical overuse of the gunshot thigh slap effect on the majority of Pentagon's strikes, which really does a lot of them a disservice. If they were a bit more selective then they would mean more. Matanza really busted ass to make Pentagon look like a big deal. It's weird seeing Matanza work from behind most of the match considering he entered the fed as Zeus, but it was great seeing him fly hard into a bunch of chairs around ringside. I liked the gunshot sound effect when Pentagon chopped the ringpost, and liked the ping of Matanza's mask hitting the ringpost. Matanza's throws all looked predictably good, but Pentagon is so damn uninteresting the way he takes them and then just opts to go back on offense. The end run was good and a believable way to put down a monster, with a series of flipping piledrivers and a package piledriver, but Pentagon just isn't interesting to me at this point. Maybe saying Cero Miedo another dozen times per match will help? Real fine Matanza performance here, propping up a guy who seems a bit too preoccupied with being cool, instead of just being good.

TL: It’s really weird to see Matanza go from this unstoppable monster to just a dude with a weird mask and some great power offense, but I guess you can’t book a guy like that forever. Penta just outworked Kenny F’n Omega at All In, showing up the supposed Workrate King on his own damn produce show in his own house style, and there are WWE rumblings with him, so after a stinker of an Aztec Warfare, I’m stoked that he brought it here against Matanza. A lot of that is because you basically have to if you want to make it look like you took down Matanza in any believable way, but this was still another match that exceeded my expectations, and it was necessary to push Penta as The Guy in the promotion. I do agree this was more about Looking Cool than Beating Matanza, but it’s better than the alternative that we’ve seen from Penta time and time again.

TL: Jeremiah Crane being a horn dog for Catrina is a bit too on the nose for me but he got his ass righteously whooped in the last Grave Consequences match he was a part of so I’m ready for that, at least.


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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 1: El Jefe

ER: Yeah yeah, we're back. We're late because of me, but we're back. I am still doing this spoiler free, which is seeming like an exponentially stupid thing to do considering I've liked each season less than the one that preceded it. I'm hoping for a nice return to form this season. Saying that, I don't actually know who is still involved with the fed, which is part of the fun/horror of going into this thing blind.

TL: Hilariously, if we didn't avoid spoilers, we might cherry pick through things instead on here. There's a lot of horror in this one, though. A LOT of horror.

ER: I immediately regret falling behind at the very beginning of the season, since we get introduced to Papa Antonio Cueto, which I imagine caused quite the varied reactions. I both love it for its ridiculousness, and hate it for its everything else. This is clearly a show with some money behind it, surely we have some extra dough in the coffers for a better wig? Cueto's wig was a 0.8 on the Amanda Bynes Courtroom Appearance scale. The beardwork was okay. The voicework was sub-Christian Bale Batman growl voice. The framed photo was as good as any funeral portrait you've seen, but they lose major points for not having a Temple flower arrangement. Okay this was fucking awful.

TL: So, we get the saga of Dario, the feds, and the power glove, complete with Lorenzo Lamas’ removed eyeball and some dude in a Puma mask who may or may not look like someone who has a big match coming up at NXT: Takeover Brooklyn 4. But THEN we get Dario not only dying, but his father coming to his sparsely attended funeral.

AND IT’S THE SAME GUY THAT PLAYED DARIO WHO IS PLAYING HIS FATHER.

Imagine after the aborted Vince car bomb angle that got shelved because He Who Shall Not Be Named did That Which Shall Not Be Described, you get Vince coming back as the ghost of Vince Sr. haunting Raw on a regular basis. It would have been way better than the Twitter bot that played the Raw GM for months upon months. I understand LU is a pulp show on a pulp network and there is some goofiness going on, but this goes beyond the pale on the goofiness scale. Of course, Antonio berates his son, knocks down his memorial portrait in the ring because he finally has control of HIS promotion, and then announces Aztec Warfare for the LU title. That is definitely a way to start off the new season of this show.


Aztec Warfare 4!

ER: Okay, THIS was fucking awful. What a terrible, sluggish, boring, uninteresting match to start your 4th season off with a fart sound. This whole mess was designed to show the dominance of Pentagon, and for a lazy dude he turned in one of his absolutely laziest performances I've seen. Maybe because it was so long and one-note? It was bad. It started with him and Tommy Dreamer having a super slow mo kendo stick battle, and continued with him hitting his finisher on approximately 10 guys. The new entrants appear to be coming in every 30 seconds, and there's an elimination every 30-60 seconds. New guys come in, new guys take one move, new guys leave. It was fucking awful. Even Matt Striker wasn't trying, and brother they don't come more try hard than Matt Striker. In arguably the least inspired moment of a match filled with uninspired moments, Vinny Massaro comes out, gets a pepperoni pizza delivery, starts to eat a slice and in the flattest tone I've ever heard from him Striker weakly says "PizzaGate". That's it. That's the joke. The joke is that there is no joke. There's a reference, but no attempt at a joke. And the reference is already nearly 2 years past expiration. When Pentagon hooked Massaro's leg on the pin I expected him to flatly sputter out a Sandy Hook reference, but no. I rooted pretty hard for Chavo, just because he was infinitely more interesting in this match than Pentagon, and the crowd clearly hates him because he's...well, no LU fans were ever able to give any actual reason why they disliked Chavo. Striker points out how hot Catrina looks, and normally the golf with eyes bugging out and a tongue on the floor reaction from Striker is the lamest, but in an aggressively shitty match like this Catrina's hotness really was a genuine highlight. Fenix was easily the most interesting of the wrestlers involved, and it really wouldn't have taken much effort from him to earn that title. Awful, awful, boring, lazy match.

TL: I actually wrote out a play by play for this because I'm absolutely crazy and also thorough when it comes to pro wrestling things I feel like I have to watch. Good lord almighty was this a slog to get through. I mean absolutely terrible in most ways. The idea behind it was to absolutely make Pentagon The Guy in the promotion, but instead, it's like a Cliff's Notes version of the folks you might see on this program week to week, and it really doesn't do a good job of selling that here. Pentagon is in at 6, and it doesn't get actually entertaining until Fenix is in at 13, where he outshines his brother in like 1/25 the time. The biggest issue I had with this is that all the guys you'd be excited to see, especially someone like Muertes, are in the match for all of like...2 minutes? I mean, Chavo gets a producer's run? Marty gets a shot to try and score an upset on Pentagon as the final guy in the match? Especially after Marty lost to Fenix in the way he did last season? This isn't even a reset. It's like taking the neuralizer from Men In Black. And after this I need it. There isn't a single thing coming out of this that makes me excited for what's to come, and that's a terrible omen for a show that already blows so hot and cold.

ER: And we get more from Papa Cueto, which was a character that just could not have sounded good at any step of the writing process. I'm not as imaginative as I perhaps once was, but I cannot actually imagine a worse way to start a new season of LU. This honestly has to be the worst episode in the history of the series.

TL: Can we get Lorenzo Lamas back up in this thing again please? More Godfrey? Papa Cueto has worn out his welcome and it's only been one show. I started reviewing these with a Sexy Star match. This whole show was worse than that feeling.


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 39 Ultima Lucha Tres Part 3

1. Last Luchadora Standing: Taya vs. Sexy Star

ER: So this worked better than it should have, and was probably Sexy Star's best actual performance. I think I've said in several other matches something along the lines of "This was probably the best possible match that _____ could have had with Sexy Star", and while I can't say she was actually good in it, for the most part, this felt like her best actual performance. All Sexy Star matches will always have that feeling of minding a toddler while he waddles around a playground: You're omnipresent and next to them at all times, but they don't really take your suggestions on what to do, and sometimes they'll stare at things overly long, and then they'll point and shout something unintelligible at something, and then they'll need help climbing steps, and they'll grab things that don't belong to them, and you don't really feel like you're needed there but need to be there constantly trying to catch them if they fall. Sexy Star kind of toddles around the Temple, and Taya follows her around, throwing herself through chairs and into grating and into tables and bleeding. For her part of things, Star slaps Taya with authority, lands a couple stomach kicks, and throws shots to the back of Taya's neck that actually look painful. They fall into a lot of things, chairs, the bleacher seats, a table, and it almost always looks good. I don't want to see Sexy Star wrestling anymore, but I appreciated that she tightened a couple things up in what should be her last LU match (unless season 4 is already planning on being the Season of Sexy!).

TL: Take a drink every time Striker says “war.” Seriously, it’s amazing. I remember saying it maybe a time or two too many during a recent PPW main event, but he’s in love with the word. Taya got one of my favorite Jeremiah Crane performances out of him in the Cueto Cup and so I am all in on her actually making a Sexy Star match good with her bumping and stooging. Taya even blades, which I am not surprised at in the least. God, hindsight is amazing here with Striker saying Sexy fights for what’s just and ethical. My favorite part about Eric’s toddler analogy is when I look up and see Sexy literally crawling around the ring as if she can’t find her favorite pacifier. They really do lay it in, at least, with the chops looking good even if the sound effects oversell their effectiveness. Sexy does lead Taya around by the nose everywhere; it’s amazing how much Taya is chasing her in this match. The garbage spots do look good, even if there’s a few times where things got telegraphed, but Taya really had a great performance here again. Now make sure there’s no more Sexy Star in Season 4. After the bullshit she pulled last year, she doesn’t deserve to be back, let alone get a push similar to what she got in Season 3.

2. Pindar/Vibora/Drago vs. The Mack/Killshot/Dante Fox

ER: I like this, very edgy subversive stuff here, an impressive Black Lives Matter allegory having every black member of the roster trying to save their America by waging global war against the Deep State Lizard People. It's some pretty revolutionary stuff here on hour 3 of Ultima Lucha Tres. And you know what? I really liked this as a title win for Mack/Killshot/Fox. The Lizard People have been really disappointing as champions, feels like they shouldn't need belts. But Mack's team winning felt like a great tecnico moment, and there aren't a ton of great tecnico moments in this fed that aren't immediately made bittersweet. I don't really know if the match was good, but it felt like a couple doors shutting that had been open for way too long. The Lizards haven't felt as big as they probably anticipated, so it's a good time to dial them back a bit, and the Fox/Killshot feud went on too long and I'd rather see their style as a team than as opponents. Mack came off - again - like a major star in the match, and they really messed up by not shoving him high up the card way quicker. It may get there eventually, but Mack is a guy they could make face of the company, and should. Although I can't believe that the cameras switched away and miss most of Vibora's bump off the Pounce. I don't think I've ever even seen Luchasaurus take a bump, so Mack making him fly off his feet feels like it should have been a big deal. Striker takes forever wrapping up a bootlace-as-secret-code story to just say that Fox and Killshot are working nicely together. I also really liked Pindar in this, he's been a great add to the roster, and I'd love for him to be repackaged. He is an awesome base, gets to show a little bit of personal lizard pride by refusing Kobra Moon's demand that he use a chain, and he's one of the few guys to opt to do a moonsault to sell a Stunner. Has anyone done a moonsault stunner bump? Rock would infamously handspring his way across the ring, but I don't know if I've seen a moonsault bump from it. Dante Fox's back still looks completely disgusting (his death match was filmed the day before!), and him doing a major flip dive over the buckles and just skidding on his back was gruesome. There was flayed skin hanging off. The match was okay, decent energy, but the actual moments and implications were the best.

TL: It wouldn’t be a professional wrestling match if all the available black guys in the fed didn’t wrestle in the same match together. Legit surprised Famous B didn’t come out with them. I’m all about the first few minutes of this match, where Fox and Killshot try their usual stuff but their injuries catch up and it becomes what I wanted most in this match: A Pindar showcase! He has a great little run here during the Lizard control segment, and then when Mack gets the hot tag and the tecnicos figure it out, it gets good. That shot of Fox’s back was absolutely disgusting. Pindar taking the fall was bleh because he looked the best in the match on the Lizard side, but he also made the finishing run look good. And yeah, it’s nice to see tecnicos do something cool without consequence. This was definitely a match where the moments were more important than the sum of its parts, but there was a good layout and everyone was used well. Surprised Drago didn’t get much of a showcase here. Fox is an insane person for going out there and doing his usual stuff with his back like that basically 24 hours after that match. Killshot was at least smart enough to take flip bumps onto his stomach most of the time.

3. Ladder Match: Son of Havoc vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: This isn't very good, and has some absolutely brutal prop set up. The only interesting moment of prop set up is when Pentagon starts throwing a bunch of ladders into the ring and Striker brings up the Public Enemy match. Vampiro compares this moment to when he was in FMW with Terry Funk, and I genuinely don't think that Funk and Vampiro were ever around each other before WCW. I don't think Vampiro ever wrestled in FMW, and I don't think Funk ever wrestled in WAR, really don't think they would have ever been on tour with a company together, before WCW. But then again he has already stated that he got to see Misawa/Kawada matches while on tour with All Japan and...that never happened. The match reaches peak crazy when Pentagon delivers a package piledriver through opened chairs. It didn't lead to a finish. Pentagon proceeds to slowly set up several ladders, and it's completely interminable because the whole time you knew it wasn't going to lead to anything nearly as cool as Crazy Crusher vs. Hell Storm. And for a guy who is I guess spreading the devil's message of violence, Pentagon never actually feels very comfortable setting up all these ladders and tables. It leads to this silly moment where there is a ladder resting on the middle rope and within the rungs of an opened ladder, and he and Havoc are brawling slowly on it because it's rickety and they don't want to fall...but it's like 2 1/2 feet off the mat. This is no Bill Dundee hanging off a scaffold, this is more a red panda hanging off a low branch, and he's trying to recover, but he's just got his panda strength to work with, and eventually he falls...but it's like a 1 foot drop. This didn't work for me.

TL: Dark is gonna have to show me something here because after so much time giving him the benefit of the doubt and saying he’d bring it in a big match, this is the type of situation where he needs to show up. Vampiro bringing up tours of Japan he never went on goes into the JBL Honorary Hall of Fame right alongside “Riki Tenryu” and his drugged showdown with an inflated dinosaur he calls Godzilla during a WWE tour of Japan. Also, not a single ladder hit Havoc when Dark threw them in there, so that wasn’t even close to the Funk ECW chair stuff. Striker also makes an Art Vandelay joke. With as much as I’m talking about commentary, it should tell you what I think of this match. It’s literally setup spot after setup spot. Something happens, weak transition spot (they tried the Randy Orton/Evan Bourne RKO spot and it didn’t look good at all), guy sets something up. Rinse and repeat. Dark literally wrestles as if he’s not getting paid enough for this shit, and since I’m not getting paid at all for it, I’ll care just as much. For a match between two ultraviolent characters where one of them came up as a real-life backyarder, this was as anti-violent and plodding as anything you’d see on this show, but set up much like you'd imagine a backyard ladder match would be. You saw how the first night ended. You saw how the second night ended. I understand if the feeling was that they couldn’t top any of that, but at least go out and try. It’s the blowoff show. Literally no reason to hold anything back here. This was a hastily put together match but could have been much better than it had any right to be. As far as Dark is concerned, I’m out on him.

TL: Man alive, are they telegraphing what’s gonna happen to Puma here. I mean, if you read this site, pretty sure you are up to speed on current pro wrestling news, so it’s no secret what’s going to happen to Puma. If I was watching this when it aired not knowing what was going to happen, it wouldn’t have made me change my mind on Vampiro obviously looking to screw over Puma. It’s another part of this that I had watched previously in highlight form so I’m foggy on specifics, but we’ll see if my feelings change watching the finale.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 36: The Rise of the Ring Announcer

ER: I really liked the opening Melissa Santos/Fenix segment, a lot. It came off like an updated take on Girlfight or something. The prior romantic scenes between Fenix/Santos came off silly, this came off downright steamy, like the George Clooney/Jennifer Lopez scenes in Out of Sight, or the Timothee Chalamet/Armie Hammer scenes in Call Me By Your Name. I thought their body language was really strong, loved the interplay of submissions, loved the sparring and grappling as metaphor for relationship dynamics, that gentle hair flop onto Fenix's face, thought all of it worked tremendously well. Now, if you think of it out of a vacuum it gets weirder, as you realize that Melissa Santos is going to be in the ring wrestling for the first time ever and they only announced it at the beginning of the episode where that was happening, and then you start thinking "Wait these two are locking in these tight go behinds and she's letting her hair seductively flop all over Fenix's face and...she hasn't even seen his face? This all seemed pretty intimate. It feels like they've been hanging out. And this whole time, during meals, during dates, during post training showers...Fenix has not removed that mask? How terrible must that mask smell?? Santos has let herself grow dangerously, emotionally close to a man who may have a Monster energy tattoo on his forehead for all she knows. But that's what thinking gets you. Follow your heart. The segment was good.

TL: I can’t even begin to top what Eric just said so my only addition to this, whether it was good editing or camera cuts or what have you, is that Santos looked like she could go!!! I all of a sudden am into whatever that tag match is gonna be. This was one of the best examples of female empowerment the show has ever portrayed because this was natural as opposed to shoved down our throats like Sexy Star was. Santos came off as a big deal with this, which is what wrestling promos are supposed to do!

Dante Fox vs. Texano

ER: I liked this more than I expected, and it's true that Fox is typically more interesting when he's against more of a power base than another athletic flipper. Texano can get really lazy during routine moments, looking like a somnambulist going through simple sequences like a lazy clothesline/back elbow sequence, but he excels here at making Fox look strong. When a guy throws a lazy clothesline you wouldn't expect him to throw himself into a crucifix bomb, and Texano is good at working around fast Fox sequences, like all of the stuff on the apron that eventually lead to the run-up-ringpost moonsault. The match was a good Worldwide length of 5-6 minutes, and even though it got too move trade-y down the stretch I was pleasantly surprised overall. Famous B botches (in storyline) the ending and calls Texano the winner, so Dario sets up B vs. Texano for next week. B says his arm is still broke from Pentagon and Dario FINALLY gets a classic Dario line in (feels like it's been WAY too long) when he says "Well then it looks like it will be a...handicap match!" Pure gold. Dario hasn't felt fully "Dario" this season, and comes off really ineffective and less the all powerful manipulator. That line was needed.

TL: Striker makes a “Clerks” joke (“I’m not even supposed to be here today”) because of Dante and not only does it make me feel old but reminds me that Kevin Smith almost died mere days ago. I thought this was alright, but not a standout or anything. Fox doing a faceplant on an enzuigiri was amusing and then became even moreso when he just went back on offense after taking a bump that looked like it would have killed him. I’ve talked about how Texano has basically looked disinterested ever since when he first came to LU with Alberto Del Rio and was used to put him over not only in LU, but in AAA, so this really does feel like he’s collecting a paycheck at this point. Agree with the line usage, but in Dario’s defense, he was in jail, man. He’s seen some shit. Just not the same guy anymore.

Marty "The Moth" Martinez/Mariposa vs. Fenix/Melissa Santos

ER: Still really surprised that this match wasn't announced at all in advance. Do they advertise? Maybe they advertise and this was announced. It feels like a pretty big match within the LU universe. And it was really fun, although after all the wins and big moments they gave to Sexy Star it's ridiculous that they can't give Santos a good moment. Moth has been licking and rubbing on her for a couple seasons now, and while she's a non-wrestler that never stopped Sexy Star from wrestling. Give her a fucking pinfall, who are we protecting here? Anyway Fenix works a nice match against the two, including hitting an actual good looking Lethal Injection and hitting a wild twisting dive to the floor. Santos getting into the match was a great moment, with Moth running into a perfectly timed high kick from the apron and the gets Irish whipped into elbow smashing Mariposa. The tandem offense didn't look great but the moment was still good.

TL: This WAS announced in advance, but Eric, much like me when I’m trying to burn through reviews, most likely fast-forwarded past the 20-second mention of it from a couple weeks ago by Striker and Vampiro. So…what I’m trying to say is that Eric made the right decision in skipping past how this match got announced in the first place. Striker says Fenix has a “legendary mask” like he’s Atlantis or something. Mariposa is so sudden with her offense, it’s amazing to think she’s been doing this for two decades. One thing in addition to Melissa doing the job in this match: There’s now absolutely no doubt that Marty is gonna lose. Had Melissa gotten a pin on Mariposa, at least you could have seen a more level playing field. Melissa’s offensive moments were definitely cool, but the way this ended was a bit too much.

ER: We get a rundown of the epic card for the 4 episode (!) Ultima Lucha extravaganza, which should make for plenty of fun. Although how absolutely ridiculous does Ivelisse vs. Catrina look at this point?? The last Ivelisse match aired 6 months before this episode, and Catrina has never wrestled in the fed. Does anyone watching even remember why they made that match?

TL: It’s a huge card, but to be honest, I’m really only looking forward to the main event, the cage match, and the Fox/Killshot match. There’s gonna be a lot of filler for me to get into.

Paul London vs. Mala Suerte vs. Saltador vs. Cortez Castro vs. Drago vs. Son of Havoc vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: This was a pretty cracking spotfest, one of the best Drago performances in awhile, a continuation of Paul London as an extremely relevant wrestler after a few years in the woods, some great Saltdaor stuff, just a ton of fun. Drago was the centerpiece of this whole thing, either tying things together and finding things to occupy time. I loved him sprinting across the ring after London leading to London doing his bananas springboard tope en reversa to the floor. he easily could have just stood there doing nothing since London was going to do the spot anyway, this made things feel more immediate. Saltador got some nice moments and I especially loved him getting backdropped into London (who was slumped in the corner). We got a couple big dives, everybody moved in and out of it smoothly, a couple nice saves, just a fun spotfest. We do get a dumbo ending with Havoc and Pentagon getting simultaneous pinfalls, but Dario comes out to announce a ladder match between the two, which is fine.

TL: I like that this match was basically laid out like an atomicos or a cibenertico, as it never really let up and gave everyone some shine. If you’re gonna do a damn seven way, you might as well take advantage and sprint. And yeah, they sprint, big time. London looks great in this match, like a true Droog. I wish he would talk shit in Cockney gibberish slang between moves. But my guy in this match? Saltador. All his offense looked crisp as all hell. He had this great springboard legdrop that looked snug when it landed and he had a great dive. Also looked great taking down Pentagon to start. I don’t like the ending either, a true bait and switch bullshit ending, but we got to see Dario yell “LADDER MATCH!” in a way that made me smile. He must have known tapings were winding down, man. He went for it in this episode.

ER: I love all the backseat of a limo scenes with Dario, and they're only better with Godfrey. I don't know who they can get to be the cigar smoking boss, but considering the programming on El Rey can we PLEASE make it Fred Williamson? We all know everyone in power is a rich old white man, so LU needs to flip the script and present us a rich old black man as the one in charge. If it's Fred Williamson I will happily go back and watch every second of every single Sexy Star moment, and not complain.

TL: Fred Williamson is awesome, but considering he’s done voiceovers for WWE highlight packages before, I’d look at the budget and just not pull ANY punches: KEITH. DAVID. MAKE IT HAPPEN, CHAVO. I NEED Keith on this show, man. Also, I love how in the span of two mintues, Dario adds two more matches I’m actually fine with for Ultima Lucha in the three-way and the ladder match. He might be getting it back just in time for the biggest show of the year, baby.


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 33: Havoc Running Wild

TL: Really enjoy when Dario can show off the acting chops, as he gets all into making Rey vs. Matanza finally happen. As well he should.

Son of Madness vs. Mascarita Sagrada

ER: Quick match to set up the main event, which is fine as I don't have tons of interest seeing Sagrada face guys in a singles match. Havoc runs out to jump Madness, which isn't very honorable. Madness wasn't unprofessional during or after the match, feels weird for Dario to give Havoc a chance at an Aztec medallion. And they clearly had tons of ideas for Madness, as they brought him in, immediately had he and Havoc fight...then nothing until bringing him back a couple months later to fight Havoc again. We don't really know WHY Madness has it out for Havoc, other than they dress the same and he's the only guy we've seen him against. This is pretty dumb.

TL: Mascarita Sagrada wearing a biker vest is one of the most Lucha Underground things ever. Very happy they didn’t have him come out on a Big Wheel, which is something I would have 100% expected. Madness needed a win somehow, and a regular old vertical suplex (it was supposed to be a brainbuster, but it looked like a damn suplex more than anything else) gets the job done. I GUESS there had to be a blowoff between Madness and Havoc, but did anyone really want it?

Marty "The Moth" Martinez vs. Argenis

ER: I really liked the Argenis/Pentagon Dark match (from Ep. 22, the last time we saw Argenis), and especially like Argenis in that match. His stock continues to rise as he works another match that - just like that Pentagon match - could have been a squash match but instead was turned into something more memorable and meaningful due to Argenis. Here he bumps big for all of Moth's big slams, and I loved his comeback, snagging Moth's foot during a leapfrog to make him faceplant, then kicking him in the chest while he recovers. Argenis hits a big flip dive (and I still get scared thinking someone is going to bust open the back of their head on those temple steps) and a nice rana on the floor. Mariposa throws him into the post, and he takes a nice post bump, and comes up bleeding. We don't actually get a lot of blood in this fed (or wrestling in general anymore), so it really made the match feel like a bigger deal to me, and made Argenis look tougher for lasting as long as he did. I'm game for a Fenix/Moth Mascara contra Caballera.

TL: I don’t know when Argenis became one of the better transition guys in Lucha Underground, but he wrestles the way I want guys to transition on offense. He comes up with nifty ways to get back on offense from basic things (huge sucker for a trip off a leapfrog attempt) and then, as Eric says, he’ll bump HUGE to feed the heel. It’s really basic stuff, but he does it in really great ways. I mentioned Dario’s acting chops earlier, but the cutaways to Melissa saying, “Marty! What are you DOING?” is cringe-inducing. Argenis bleeds buckets because he just wants us to like him that much more before Marty finishes him off. Really happy to see Marty booked like an honest-to-God rudo and actually make him bleed and take a mask. An apuestas match I can really get behind.

Joey Ryan vs. Sexy Star

ER: How does the sound effects guy sleep at night after adding those ridiculous sounds to Sexy Star's slaps? She knows her way around some awful offense (I cannot think of someone with a worse legdrop), but I did really like her throwing Ryan by his chest hair. Striker gets all giddy talking about areolas, but the joke was her clearly throwing Ryan by grabbing clumps of his chest hair. I didn't hate this. I expected to hate this. That has to count for something.

TL: So Sexy Star gets 80% of the match, and then eats a superkick and loses. And when Joey DOES win, Striker calls it “The biggest win of his LU career.” I also expected to hate this more, but it was just there. That’s better than most Sexy Star matches I can talk about.

Boyle Heights Biker Brawl: Son of Madness vs. Son of Havoc

ER: The feud that continues, for reasons we might never know! I really liked the first half of this, both guys took dangerous bumps to the floor, stiff trash can shots, Madnes hits an insane slingshot double stomp to the floor (and Havoc was not lying close to the ring, Madness really went a long way to stomp a hole in him), Havoc getting shoved into the crowd, Madness bumping down the riser seating, big dive from Havoc. All of that kind of stuff has contributed to the best kinds of LU brawls. So I really loved all the stuff that went to the floor, but I didn't love a lot of the stuff in ring. Havoc has really weak offense, which tends to look weaker - and sillier - in the middle of a wild brawl. The driver on the trash can was pretty rough, but the stuff with a hammer and beer bottle just comes off ridiculous. If they had given me some more reason to actually care about why Havoc was willing to hit another guy in the face with a bottle, it could have been a major moment, but other than knowing that these two likely have some kind of a past, that's all we know. They've had two matches, the second one ending with a bottle to the face. It feels like I should know more about those motivations.

TL: That double stomp over the top to the floor made my eyes wide. That’s a ridiculous idea and it looked absolutely rough as all hell. A lot of this stuff looked reckless, which adds to the fact that it’s a street fight. The footprints on the back from the Havoc double stomp was a cool aesthetic. The back body drop into the steel grating was sick. It does lose a lot going back into the ring considering what the first part of this match brought on, and Havoc bouncing around as if he didn’t take a bunch of punishment is par for the course for him. At least the Mushroom Stomp looked good this time. This ended up being a good match, but they could have done a lot more if they made the end of the match look more like the first half of the match.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 27: Fade to Black

TL: I know it’s not the season for it anymore, but for me to be watching this show with so many scenes on rooftops during the Christmas season and not make an “Up on the Rooftop” reference means that I just left content hanging out there for you guys and for that, I am sorry. I really am. Also, this has both the most substitute teacher-looking Vampiro so far and PJ Black flipping the bird towards Puma. I don’t really have much else for that. Just that it happened.

1. Pindar vs. Cage

ER: I was looking forward to this match, but oh well, now we got Pindar as a bracket buster. The ref leaned into that big Cage lariat, and it's getting pretty annoying how they've been taking every other week off as it concerns DQs. Pretty sure every match last week had some kind of interference.

TL: Pindar being announced from a different time (“When Reptiles Ruled the Earth”) makes me wonder why more wrestlers don’t try things like that. The Vaudevillains should have been billed from “When Motion Pictures Were Turned with a Hand Crank” or something to that regard. “When Two Bits Were a Common Form of Currency.” “When The Wright Brothers Finished Their First Flight.” Anyways, you reading this took longer than the match, as Cage didn’t want to take off the Power Glove and knocks out Ph.D. Justin Borden and Pindar with it before the DQ. Borden is nuts for letting Cage essentially do a one-armed Screwdriver to him since Cage did it with the glove on. Can’t wait for there to be a DQ next week for a closed fist.

2. Dante Fox vs. Son of Havoc

ER: The Dario inconsistent rulings really are made more annoying when they come back to back. He's cool with Cage/Pindar not actually having a match, but THIS match we ALL need to see? And also, can anybody confirm that Vampiro has ever even been in the same room as Misawa? He's brought it up three times this season, and I can't recall any kind of AJPW tours that he was on pre-NOAH split, and I know he never showed up on a NOAH tour. I think there's an honest chance that I have been in live attendance more times, AND appeared in photographs more times with Misawa than Vampiro has. And as long as you zoned out during all of the move set up, this match totally delivered. Some of the set ups were just awful, really glaring "Hey could you wait there for me to hit this move? Sure, just return the favor for me by awkwardly rolling 6 feet over so I can hit a moonsault." But the big moves were ridiculous, and I'm glad Fox got the win after some of his lunacy. He does a massive flip dive that overshoots Havoc (he overshoots his flip dives so much that I'm almost starting to think it's on purpose), weird stuff like jumping onto the top rope knees first to do a strange Spanish fly variation, that brutal leg drop from the top rope to the apron (really I'd love more wrestlers aping Damien Wayne than Kenny Omega) and then taking a coconuts death valley driver from the apron WAY far away onto the floor. He really felt like he was pulling out all his tricks and while I hated a lot of the transitions in the match, I'm glad his crazy was rewarded.

TL: This match-up is something I’m definitely lukewarm on, but mainly on the Havoc side. Fox is a guy I’ve liked more than I haven’t but there’s too much here for bad habits to present itself with. Fox busts out his absolutely insane somersault plancha over the ringpost that he’d hit in Reseda and the aforementioned leg drop, but I actually liked him looking up to the ceiling before he hit the Swanton which made me think he might actually hit something hanging down. He’s just insanely athletic. Lo Mein Pain is normally a goofy set up but he hits it well here. This match really does devolve into inconsistency with the transitions to Son of Havoc’s offense because he takes SO much time before trying to hit something. The time it took before that apron DVD was just mindnumbingly long. I’ve talked about how much I love the Mushroom Stomp, but Havoc hits one so lightly here I thought he slipped. The flashes of good don’t make up for the inconsistent overall construction of it. It’s pretty obvious that Fox being in there with the right guy means it’s going to be awesome, though. Havoc’s just not the guy.

TL: Benjamin Cooke is basically a Paul Heyman-like talking head that can blow smoke up asses and is just sleazy enough to make you think he can get you a job on…well, a show like Lucha Underground, actually. Very meta. Need more Johnny Mundo talking about Ghost Dad 2 and less screen time to guys that aren’t gonna add much to stories.

3. PJ Black vs. Prince Puma

ER: Boy this did just nothing at all for me. Worse, it annoyed me. That strike exchange annoyed the hell out of me. I mean my god was that stupid. And it went on forever. Just big leaping spinny kicks and knees and bad forearms and a neverending sequence of guys spinning from a strike just to hit their own spinny strike. And they were selling how tired they were, so it was done in an almost preposterous slow motion. This kind of strike exchange can still work within the Low-Ki/Red Jackie Chan fast countering style, but I thought this "we're exhausted but we're having a war using the least efficient strikes to do so" looked horrible and embarrassing. The spots weren't nearly as impressive as the previous match, and those move and strike exchanges were the worst of modern wrestling.

TL: Yeah, a few minutes in and I’m echoing Eric’s sentiments. They run through a Reseda Standoff that has been seen WAY too many times before and then Puma goes through a long control segment that just doesn’t grab me. Black busts out a reverse suplex into a Dragon Clutch and it just makes me want to watch a Low Ki match. If this was a straight up sprint that went six minutes and had just insane athletic moves from both guys, it would be way better than this. The match starting with Puma’s comeback should have been the match but with everything at a breakneck pace. I really hate that there are moves with WWE-related buzzwords like “Wellness Policy.” It’s just so petty and makes you look minor league. OH CRAP, THAT STRIKE EXCHANGE IS TERRIBLE. All those kicks not putting anyone down, two guys who can’t throw strikes throwing strikes…I’m trying to talk myself into this match and that took me out. I’m now actively just waiting for the end of it. Black pops up back for a counter after taking a super poison rana. Sure. The Puma 630 was super low and tight, which was cool, but this match was just not even remotely close to being “amazing” like Striker said it was. Guessing Meltz Is feeding him lines at this point.

ER: PJ Black gets a match against Rey Mysterio on the very next episode, and Dario tells him that "he will finally be able to show the fans what he's all about." He was literally JUST in the main event of this show, and lost a "war". What more can he honestly be about that he hasn't shown in his 18 or so LU matches so far?

TL: Don’t get why Cueto would even take three calls from Cooke, let alone 18. If someone was trying to call me that many times, I’d fire the wrestler he represents. Easy peasy. Hate booking a match where you put a guy in Black’s position, where you either make Rey look weak because you want to make Black strong for some reason, or you book a completely predictable match against a guy who’s supposed to be the most legendary figure in the company. Just an odd booking choice and a complete lapse of judgement in resources.


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