Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 20: Seven to Survive

ER: So we came out the other side of the arguable worst episode of the season. We knew there would be roadblocks on the trip to Valhalla. It's just like Lucha Underground to try and make us quit when we're this close, but I'm not falling for it. We're finishing these last 3 episodes. Throw your worst at me!

TL: God, who is Immortan Joe in the realm of LU? I guess it's Matanza? Sammy Guevara actually kinda reminds me of Nux. Jake Strong is a perfect Rictus Erectus. It should be noted that while I do share Eric's feelings of wanting to close this one out, we are only returning to this on the day of a full-on statewide shelter in place due to Big Rona. Yes, the only thing truly driving us back to wanting to watch this show is semi-forced quarantine from a highly contagious pathogen. And the only cure is...wait, a SHOW-LONG SEVEN-WAY MATCH???

King Cuerno vs. Big Bad Steve vs. Hernandez vs. Aerostar vs. PJ Black vs. Jake Strong vs. Dante Fox

ER: And well, this might not have been the worst they could have thrown at me, but it was a show long match prominently featuring a couple guys I wish weren't prominently featured, and I don't think it had the meat to flesh out a show long match. The indisputable best part of the match was Big Bad Steve getting his longest opportunity yet to be Big Bad Steve, although PJ Black becoming a guy who just kicks everyone in the balls was a close second place. Has that been something Black has been doing? I sure don't remember it. Black goes on a run of kicking three guys straight in the balls, which is a smart strategy. PJ must have had some insider scoop to know that those guys had weak balls. Big Bad Steve is not only the best striker in the match, and the best fighter in the match (at one point he starts braining people with a monkeywrench, especially cracking Cuerno), and sadly he shows that he can sell a ball shot better than anyone. He takes a ball kick from PJ Black with as much force as I've ever seen anyone take a ball kick, really came off worthy of finishing a match.

But there was a ton of Jake Strong breaking ankles with his ankle lock, and they debuted one of the stupidest features yet, in the fed's history: Bone Crunching Action! We've sat through a dozen Pentagon arm breaks, never got splintering bone sound effect. But we're here now. Jake Strong's ankle lock has bone crunching action. He crunches Black's ankle, tries to crunch Aerostar's ankle but he is saved, just an ankle crunching machine. Hernandez does silly baby stuff to get eliminated well before anyone else, Fox hits a big springboard inverted 450 onto half a dozen guys who don't catch him, Aerostar hits a dive off a cherry picker that took an eternity to set up, and really the brawl through the crowd might have been the most engaging actual stretch of the match. But there were too few engaging stretches for a match that went the full show, and for what? Does this mean we get a title match of Marty the Moth vs. Jake Strong?? THAT'S what we built to? Who is the babyface in that scenario?

TL: Oh, the best part is that Striker doesn't even hide that it's gonna take the whole show. That seems more like a threat than anything else, because now I have to lock in for probably 45 minutes of a match where I like roughly 2 1/2 guys. And one of those guys is Big Bad Steve, so the other 1 1/2 can be spread out amongst the other six at some point. I don't get how Hernandez is out after like three minutes when you have 40 minutes to fill, but his elimination seemed like a booking decision that was like, "Let's just get this down to even numbers." PJ being all about the nut shots was admittedly amusing; the springboard into the nut shot was inspired shit. The WWECW reunion happens for all of 90 seconds before the campy sound effect ankle breaking sends PJ to ROH. I really can't get a handle on this match in the first 10 minutes. Like they're not sure when to just let it get wild and go hard, and then we get to the King Cuerno bodysuit strip knife-edge chop section and I long for the PJ Black nutshot brigade. The psychology of Aerostar using a forklift to leap onto Big Bad Steve (and Cuerno) is a great piece of business, even if it took too long to set up. At least you get Drago in the construction worker getup (complete with cutouts for the dragon horns). I like bodyslam variants, so Strong's delay and then side throwing slam got a nice reaction from me. Watching Strong base for Aerostar when Big Bad Steve was in the match earlier sure was a choice. 

I'm not completely checked out, but it's so obviously Strong winning this thing. They haven't done enough for me to think there's anything that could be done to stop it. Like, how in the world does Cuerno stand on the outside for two minutes while Fox and Strong lay on the mat? What is that? I almost feel like I should just turn this off. This seems like a pretty damn checked out layout for the last three spots. The ankle lock, the most dangerous sub in the fed, gets shaken off by weak limping from both Fox and Cuerno for big spots. Sure. Big dive off the roof of the entranceway from Fox to land on his ass. He hits a 450, and Strong pulls him off for the pin for some reason. Even Vampiro can't believe it. VAMPIRO. More military references for Fox being tortured while in a submission. Wait, there are ROPE BREAKS? This match is drunk. I don't think this match is worse than last week's show, but it's just 40 minutes of nothing leading to inevitability. But first a stupid three-way knockout spot. I've lost my patience with this match. It shouldn't be like this. They're still going! We finally get to Fox and Strong, Striker reminds us that this is Lucha Under-ground, and then Fox lasts a minute in the ankle lock before tapping. "This is bullshit!", the crowd chants. Yes, it is, but we are also now two episodes away. Ultima Lucha Cuatro awaits us. We're definitely playing out the string. Here's to playing the full schedule.


COMPLETE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 19: Savagery

TL: Gonna do a little something different while reviewing this: Watching the whole episode while my overly loud dishwasher is running in the background. When you live in a 450 sq. ft. granny unit, sometimes things like this are unavoidable, but also, I much prefer the constant whirr of the dishwasher to at least 95% of the dialogue on this show. And my point is immediately made by the opening segment featuring Cueto and Strong. Another time where AEW not letting Jake talk is a good thing; then again, seeing a known racist have to react positively to a perceived ancient piece of Mexican history is high comedy, as is his idea of manifest destiny with saying the phrase, "This isn't your temple. It's mine!" as he leaves. What a segment. Dishwasher, don't fail me now.


Aerostar vs. PJ Black vs. Hernandez vs. Big Bad Steve vs. King Cuerno vs. Jake Strong vs. Dante Fox

ER: Oh damn we get a battle royal in LU, AND the long overdue return of Big Bad Steve!? Okay Big Bad Steve got eliminated as I was typing that first sentence and I hate this now. This was a pretty bad battle royal. It goes only a few minutes, Steve and Hernandez get eliminated super early the exact same way, people keep showboating on the apron, Dante Fox returns after a year and gets a couple of slippery escapes, whatever. The show is named after Jake Strong, he mush mouthed his way through the opening video with Cueto, we knew who was winning, but that doesn't mean they had to go out and do a battle royal that took as much time as the entrances. Lame.

TL: BIG BAD STEVE BACK IN THE GODDAMN BUILDING. And I'm happy to see Dante back, too, as him going balls to the damn wall with Killshot was worth a return. It's a battle royal, which should make Eric happy. (Arrested Development Narrator: "It didn't.") He likes to do a yearly get together where we blind pick battle royals based on the participants. The last one we did, he chose the Slamboree '98 Cruiserweight Battle Royal to start and I ran away with the entire evening on points, blowing away the field. Can't believe he has me back for it, to be honest. In less than a minute, Big Bad Steve gets to show off why he's a goddamn base god for Aerostar and then throws a fantastic right hand only to get eliminated first. About right. This is obviously a vehicle to get Strong right into the main event. Sad that it has to come at the expense of guys like Fox, who showed out to such an amazing extent that him getting treated like an afterthought here is incredibly puzzling and incredibly sad. And then they make the battle royal pointless by just having a 7-way match for the belt next week. And it sets up a Mundo match later that night? Okay. I know I'm just getting over food poisoning but I still don't get what just happened. On the bright side, guaranteed more Big Bad Steve, baby!!! Dishwasher update: A low rumble, but still loud enough to drown out Striker. A good start.

Killshot vs. The Mack

ER: This was more angle than match, using a first time pairing that could have potentially been interesting, to instead set up an uninspiring Mil Muertes run in. The spear Muertes hits on Mack is arguably the weakest I've seen from him. The match didn't really have time to go anywhere interesting.

TL: This had a couple neat things going for it and then they ended it for the angle, which in itself seemed pointless, especially given how well Mack came off in browbeating Muertes before. This was very much in the vein of those old Attitude-era TV segments where a 2-3 minute match gets thrown away for an angle that didn't need to be expanded upon. Dishwasher update: A couple of louder whirrs every now and then, really digging in deep to get that good clean.

ER: I've gotten so into Sammy Guevara crushing it while playing the lowest man on the totem pole in The Inner Circle that it's now weird to see him as the plucky babyface joining XO and Ivelisse. The trios match should still be good.

TL: The Sammy reveal was fun as he's been one of the only people I've enjoyed since AEW has started up, but holy crap, the inside jokes about Famous B's 7-year contract for an LU talent write themselves. That's the only thing I enjoyed about this. This whole show has been just nothing but promos, really. Dishwasher update: Cleaner than Famous B after that trash can shot.

Jake Strong vs. Johnny Mundo

ER: This is that kind of 2011 pro wrestling vibe that I have absolutely no interest in revisiting, baby! There were some things I liked here, big individual moments, but I don't think it added up to a very good match. Mundo takes some big bumps, including this awful moment where he hit a kick from the apron and managed to fall on the buckles, apron, ring steps, and floor, winding up with his legs over his head. But seconds later he was totally fine. Mundo is such an athletic bumper that he often winds up making bumps absolutely meaningless in a Petey Williams kind of way. And this was certainly a match where no move mattered. Both guys took control at will, no matter what they had just taken. Strong took over after taking a sitout powerbomb on the floor, Mundo took back over after taking a big lariat to the back of the head, both guys just kept popping up whenever necessary. And by the time we get to ankle lock reversals I am praying for death's sweet release. Matanza runs out at the end, there's an obvious blood packet to really plant the flag in this shit sundae, and I am happy it's over.

TL: Johnny just got to walk out in front of 40k+ and work a minute in the Rumble for a big payday and you have to be happy for him to be able to go from a promotion on its last legs (and the husk of Impact!) to being an upper-midcarder for the world's biggest promotion at the drop of a hat. I kept waiting for something to jump out in this match given they know each other pretty well but nothing really made an impact for me outside of Johnny's nuts bumps to the outside. And then they start brawling into the crowd and the sweet, slow, rhythmic churn of my dishwasher soothes me as Morrison decides to turn a wrestling match into a literal parkour demonstration. There was no rhyme or reason to this match. A guy like Strong who has been put over like a world-beater didn't get to look like one here; 50/50 booking is such shit. If a guy is a world-beater, make him one. Have him show a weakness every now and then, but now he's just trading spots with a guy who, while presented as a top guy, is working this like any other match. Just mind boggling to me. It's amazing to me that I'm about to type this but here it is: The Nunchucks Match from earlier this season blows this match out of the water. Strong leaned into everything Mundo threw, so there's that, I guess. This is very much in the Adam Cole/Michael Elgin ROH Title mold and folks, that match style ain't it. It's wild they worked a 15 minute match that led to that ending considering how Strong has been booked but hey, what do I know? Matanza comes out, busts Johnny open, takes Taya on a tour of (Jake Strong's) temple, and then wails away on Mundo as if he was Ralphie finally giving Scott Farkus what for. And as the dishwasher starts to drain out the dirty water for the rinse cycle and steam starts to form, the sweet release of this show finally happens. 45 minutes of my life gone, never to be gotten back, but transcribed in all its hellish nature for you, the reader of this website.


ER: They went from the best episode of the season, to (I think) pretty easily the worst. The wrestling was not good, the angles were not interesting, and this whole thing felt like the ultimate wheel spinner of an episode. This was not the go home show to Ultima Lucha, but it made me much less interested in Ultima Lucha.

TL: Three. More. Episodes.

COMPLETE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 16: Kill Mil

ER: Weekly reminder of just how awful every part of the Antonio Cueto character is.

TL: Oh man. So...you are a show that caters basically exclusively to hardcore fans. You then have MATT STRIKER READ A PREPARED STATEMENT to set up the main even that night? Over a highlight package? I mean...I never thought I'd say this, but Vampiro saying, "You say something? We got things to do!" after that was the best. Thank God for Vampiro. Praise Vampiro.

Jack Evans vs. Matanza

ER: This was pretty silly. I'm not sure what kind of character Evans is working, as he did a bunch of dialed to 10 mic work where he was just yelling annoying sounds and acting like a real goofball. Cool? Then he does a comical Mr. Furley stumbly run up the stairs only to run away from Matanza and get tripped by Antonio Cueto's cane. They're going for Looney Tunes vibes but also very serious Evans-will-leave-The-Temple-in-a-body-bag vibes and it doesn't really work. Evans vs. Matanza is a damn fun pairing, but this isn't that. This is Evans wide eyed running from Matanza, getting tossed a couple times, coming back briefly to hit a fantastic 630...only to see Matanza instantly shrug it off and hit the Tour of the Temple. This could have been a the best possible style clash, instead we had to pretend Jack Evans was suddenly a guy who couldn't wrestle very well.

TL: Jack Evans continues to be awesome on the mic, Antonio Cueto continues to be a terrible caricature in place of an actual good on-screen authority figure. Jack plays up the horror movie vibes better than most by knocking on the door to the entrance ramp only to be out of luck. Jack getting to run around a bit and be evasive only to eventually fall after a valiant effort is at least a good version of this match, but I would have liked a more competitive match between these two because it would have been good to watch. Evans rag dolling for peak Samoa Joe back in the ROH days was fantastic to see; him doing the same for Matanza would have ruled, too. Alas, all this for a cheap pop to hear Antonio warble about human sacrifice. I mean, literally seven months ago on WM weekend, a dude has his throat slit on stage during the absolutely terrible Blackcraft show. If you're gonna kill someone on a wrestling show, at least make it campy as fuck.

XO Lishus/Ivelisse/Joey Ryan vs. Jeremiah Snake/Daga/Kobra Moon

ER: This was rough in just about every way. Sloppy as hell, not a lot of build, just a mess of a match. Xo Lishus was probably the lone highlight; I love the snap he gets on things like armdrags, and really I just love the snap he puts on everything. Ivelisse has one of the more embarrassing hot tags of recent memory and later hits a slow motion cannonball off the apron. Daga even trips on the ropes getting into the ring. Striker calls Jeremiah Snake "this generation's most controversial athlete", which does sound much more intriguing than "some guy that a lot of people wish would just go away because they don't dig his fucking vibe" which is the reality. This was as skippable as it gets.

TL: Killer Kross as the White Rabbit is a good fit for the promotion; hope he calls out Big Dave in a knock off Tower of Doom match by season's end. The match itself was basically a mid-tier trios pairing with folks thinking up "creative" spots only for them to not land clean. XO probably looked the best in the match, Joey's shtick continues to be tired, Crane's descent to complete irrelevance continues. Daga with a weird Toryumon double arm-bar to finish. Kross and London stand idly by for the most part while Bunny gets the offense post-match, and I'm baffled again. This fed, folks.

Nunchuck Match: Aerostar/Drago vs. Jake Strong

ER: I'm a big fan of stupid stips matches, and a 2 on 1 handicap nunchucks match would certainly qualify as stupid, but Strong isn't a good enough stooge to make the nunchucks portion of this match interesting. We get the fun visual of actual nunchuck retrieval at the top of the Temple steps. At one point Aerostar and Drago pose as two children trying to sneak into an R rated movie wearing a very long trenchcoat, beating Jake with nunchucks. But Strong just kind of stands there and takes a dozen nunchuck shots, like he couldn't go anywhere. Every other time he took nunchuck shots he would just awkwardly bend over to take them, just poking his butt out. To put over a nunchuck shot you really need that scaled dog reaction, needs some hopping, some yelping, some fleeing; Ol' Jake Strong just behaved like he was in a very specific BDSM video. There were individual great moments, like Strong's vicious gutwrench powerbomb, or Aerostar's no hands springboard splash, but this didn't work as well as it could have.

TL: NUNCHUKS MATCH. I need Sleazy E out here in an exhibition at least. Jake Strong being treated as a top guy in AEW right now is still absolutely baffling to me (and he hasn't even wrestled a match!!!) but he's been at least a little bit entertaining taking on all the low-tier juniors, which should prepare him well for AEW. It's at least something that uses the gimmick well, even if the gimmick itself is terrible. The crowd chants "This is awesome!" for some reason, possibly the nadir of the chant, or maybe they're in on the joke. But let's point out what these guys did in their seven minutes: They had huge bumps, they laid shit in, and they went out there to maximize an absolutely limiting gimmick. I'm writing this match up as it happens, not after the fact, and this is actually becoming one of the great shitty gimmick matches LU has ever done. The finish was awesome stuff. They also 100% went early on the bone break sound effect. I am going to look back on this fondly as one of the great examples of everything both bad and good about LU: The gimmick is terrible, the entire setup is basically shit. But guys went out there and killed it, did everything they could to maximize what they were given, and somehow, someway, production values made it look not nearly as good as it could have. I can't think of a single 15-minute segment in any LU show that captures all that. Amazing stuff.

Mil Muertes vs. King Cuerno vs. Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: This didn't add up to a ton, made everyone except Pentagon feel super marginalized, which is a repeat trend for PPP. We also got some more Fenix coming out to assault Melissa Santos, which is great because then he will still wrestle the same way and get cheered for his cool spots, so what is actually the point of doing that kind of storyline? It does lead to our no close second greatest part of the match, when Dragon Azteca hits an incredible tope con giro over the ringpost, crashing both of them into the announce table. Awesome, awesome spot. I have to assume the rest of this was mangled by hasty editing, because the only other option was that it was mangled by foolish match layout: Cuerno hit his big tope into Pentagon and Muertes, except Pentagon was back up to the apron as quickly as Cuerno, only for both of them to be hit by a Muertes spear to knock them off the apron. So either Pentagon sold a Cuerno tope - treated like a major move for much of the series - by immediately leaping up to the apron, while Muertes sold it by running to the other side of the Temple to get in the ring for his spear...or the editing was so trash that it just made the wrestlers look like trash. Neither is a good look.

TL: Things I knew were going to happen before this match started: Muertes was gonna rule ass for a few minutes, Penta was definitely going to be on the outside in a 4-way match when you shouldn't have any downtime due to the fact everyone can at least face someone, Cuerno was gonna hit his tope, Dragon was gonna out-effort everyone. AND THEN HE DOES THAT CORNER DIVE. HOLY SHIT. It's weird to think a match like this is so methodically paced, but that's LU for you. Willie Mack coming back to cost Mil the match was a cool twist. And then of course Penta wins. Muertes taking the fall was surprising but I guess if they're pairing folks off, Mack/Muertes in a deathmatch should be fun, at least. Match was 100% a mean multi-man LU match. Like Eric said: Production here was really off again, selling was off all around. Again, I feel like there's just a lot of things that are supposedly creative but done in a way that doesn't play to anyone's strengths. It used to be the hallmark of this show but now it seems like that's all gone by the wayside. Really rough to see at this point. Azteca/Fenix has a chance to be good, Mack/Muertes could be a defining match for two guys I thoroughly enjoyed in this fed, and Penta somehow ending up the last LU champ will be fitting in a way because they really had nobody else to go to, it seems. Maybe they'll still surprise me. Who knows.



COMPLETE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 15: The Hunted

ER: We still have EIGHT episodes of this show left before it's all done. Forever. I think the last time I watched anything from season 4 was at least 8 months ago. This episode aired 13 months ago! I was not enjoying the season, I do not remember much about the season, I don't remember the feuds and stories...but I feel too close to the finish line to not write up every remaining episode. We're 94% of the way home. Why not finish this, he said, trying to convince himself.

TL: The worst thing that could happen to our assessment of Lucha Underground in this, the supposed New Boom Period of 2019, is that everything becomes incredibly dated IMMEDIATELY. Nearly every major player involved in this show has become a completely different (and in the majority of cases, bigger) persona aside from this in the eight months since we last reviewed an episode. When it was cool to see Prince Puma and Ricochet separately or Cobb and Matanza separately, the luster that LU once had makes it legitimately weird to see everyone used here compared to how they're used now. Without question, I don't think there's anyone on this show in the final eight weeks that we watch (EIGHT. MORE. SHOWS. WE CAN DO THIS.) where I'm going to come away thinking, "LU legitimately was the best thing the guy was ever a part of." That's an absolutely strange coda on a show that had some of the best non-major talents in the world on it and was thought of as a true alternative less than half a decade ago. In its defense? It has not resorted to needing to be taped via iPhone stream on Twitch before their "biggest show of the year," so at least that's something. I almost feel like that's how I'm going to watch these shows as we finish up; just comparisons to how LU shortchanged them and how much better they are now.

Except Mil Muertes. If there's one good thing to take away from the legacy of this show, Mil Muertes is a stone cold all-timer. And even THEN. Mesias in PR/AAA was insane. "All that glitters is not gold" as the yacht rockers say. Or Aristotle. One of them.

ER: We CAN do this. Should we do this? Does anyone care if we do this? Probably not. But we're finishing this stupid thing that I started.


Fenix vs. Aerostar

ER: This was actually a nice match to jump me back into the LU home stretch. The finish couldn't have been lazier, but I was really digging this up until that point. Fenix was bumping around big for Aerostar and Aerostar was getting plenty of chances to show off his specific set of skills. He hits an insane dive to the floor where not only does he not use his hands, he has his hands behind his back! He got huge distance, really missile launching himself into Fenix. I also dug later when Fenix ran him the length of the ring, hard into the railing. Fenix staggers amusingly into position after a flipping piledriver, and it's totally worth it as Aerostar hits a killer springboard DDT that Fenix spikes wonderfully for. They got way too SFX heavy on all of Aerostar's yakuza kicks, 7 straight kicks and all of them had that silly slap sound. But I liked Aerostar's makeshift code red after all of them, and I liked how Fenix leaned into the kicks. Now, the finish is real uninspired, as Fenix just decides that the match is going to be over, throws a couple of nice open hand chops (including a real nasty slap right to Aerostar's prone stomach), hits a dropkick off the middle rope that seems like he took the worst of, and then hits a driver for the uncontested finish. I really hate when a guy just decides to come back and then goes right to the finishing sequence after being dominated for several minutes. However, Fenix's spinkick to Dragon Azteca Jr. post match look fantastic.

TL: Fenix walks slowly and wears black so you know he's a heel when he comes out, but I'm getting some really heavy Killshot vibes here and that's not a compliment. There's some good things he can do as a heel; his insane athleticism and kinetic energy means he can make some simple offense really dynamic. His pump kick is killer here and that corner spin kick landed flush. My favorite move he did in the match was that dropkick on the apron that was Shinjiro Otani-esque. When he's been more of a heel with Pentagon before, it hasn't been like this, and while it's not completely fleshed out or, you know, really that good, the flashes you get are still intriguing. Aerostar hits the majority of his spots really well as per usual, the no-hands dive was absolutely insane (followed by Fenix sitting up like some drunk Taker cosplayer), but this was right smack dab in the middle of the LU house style for me. The post match was actually well done (outside of the ACTING by Melissa) and Dragon Azteca, Jr. took his beating like a king.

Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Marty The Moth Martinez

ER: Oh wow, forgot all about The Moth. I'm pretty sure he has wrestled about as often post-Lucha Underground as I have written about Lucha Underground. Is he even in wrestling at this point? Has he somehow been the only wrestler still affected by the obnoxious LU contracts? He was a guy I really grew to like on LU, and here I am reminded why. He takes a big looping DA DDT right on his forehead, and takes a big damn bump over the top to the floor. Azteca is selling the beating the Fenix gave him before the match, which only made him doing iffy kick combos seem even more dumb. There was plenty of light on the kicks from both guys, but they were only giving the hand slap FX to Azteca, which just made his strikes look worse.

TL: Marty's control sequence here isn't much to really go on about. Azteca comes back and hits pescado con tijeras and then a fantastic somersault dive over the corner and it at least picks up a bit after that. And then it ends???? What a strange end to the match. I don't know who's booking the finishes tonight but they are absolutely discombobulated and sudden and don't make sense. Marty's gonna want Penta again so the cards have been shown a bit here. I'm not sure how much I'm looking forward to that particular match.

ER: Dario's...uncle? father? is just as stupid as I remember. What a tremendously bad idea that was, to take the far and away most interesting character on the show and make him do an atrociously bad voice.

TL: The White Rabbit as Morpheus using Anton Chigurhisms? Sure. El Bunny is an objectively funny lucha handle, though. Paul London continues to shine as the brightest light amongst the darkness this season.


King Cuerno vs. Mil Muertes vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: This match was really fun when they were on the floor, and kind of a mess whenever they were in the ring. They muddled their way somewhat awkwardly through "3 guys hitting each other at once" spots, but things pick up nicely when Pentagon hits a big tope con giro, accidentally chops the ringpost trying a follow up attack to Muertes, and gets nailed by a great Cuerno tope while recoiling from that chop. Pentagon also gets tossed into the upper level fans, taking a cool bump. The in ring is messy. Cuerno hits a too obvious thigh slap knee (it must be muscle memory to do those, because the guys should know that LU is going to sweeten the sound for them), Pentagon whiffs on a backcracker that Muertes still sells (smart move by production to shift to the overhead camera for that one), and the whole thing wraps up pretty quickly for the names involved. Muertes couldn't feel much more like an afterthought, and that feels downright crazy to me if you've watched the other seasons.

TL: Even I though I hate the stip, I find myself enjoying Mil in three-way matches because he's both incredibly good at taking offense and conversely looking like a monster. That's how this starts and it's fun to watch. Penta hitting a dive early??? Okay, if he's here to work, I'll give him my attention. I thought he would full on Lazy Muta this but he's come to play in this one. Mil then turns into the monster he is on the outside with a sick standing spear and then hip tossing Penta over the guardrail. Hey, if you want to take part of the match off, you better take a hell of a bump in exchange. Then when he gets back in he hits some sub-Rollins level sling blades, proving some things never change. And then the run of shit finishes continues as Mil hits his awesome choke slam, waits for some reason, then Penta hits two backcrackers before spinning a kick into the Fear Factor. When Mil was on offense and basically made Penta step up a bit to match him, this was great. Outside of the dive, Cuerno was just another guy to take the fall.


Pentagon Dark vs. Marty The Moth Martinez

ER: Marty won the Gift of the Gods title from Dragon Azteca earlier, and he bargains with Antonio Cueto to get a same night title match. And they put the title on The Moth!!! That rules. That's like some dope 1990 AWA behavior and I am here for it. The match wasn't much - Pentagon had several nice moments in the prior match but felt like a guy losing a title match here - but Chelsea Green runs out and kicks Pentagon right in the balls, and I am giddy at them putting the title on Moth. The fans seem pissed, and now I am genuinely excited at the prospect of the final episodes of the LU run being them only pushing guys who were not actively trying to work whatever weird definition of "opposition shows" LU was pissed about. Let's make this a Moth/Paul London show from here on out!!

TL: The first thing that came to mind when Papa Cueto said Marty could cash in was when Damien Sandow cashed in on Cena. Of course, both guys here are worse than both guys there, and that's Sandow we're talking about. Sooooooo, all that protecting of Pentagon being booked only to have him lose to Marty? That's a hell of a joke to play on Penta for chasing Tony Khan's money. HA! I was trying to figure out who that was and it was Chelsea Green! Awesome. Good for her getting some run here. I'm with Eric. Bring on the non-muckrakers, man. STRAP UP BIG BAD STEVE.


COMPLETE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 14: Pet Cemetary

TL: Eric sent me this review literally five weeks ago and I haven't even begun to get to it. Between the holidays, a trip to New Orleans where I dressed up as a banana on New Years Eve and was the talk of Bourbon Street, a new job at a place I actually love working at, moving into a new place for the first time in almost a damn decade, and my waning love for a product I once fervently enjoyed, I held this up probably longer than I should have. I'll take the L on this one, as the kids say. However, I will say that I'm seeing this out to the bitter end. I will find the love where I can.

Ivelisse vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: I thought this was really great, probably my favorite LU match of the season, and that is an unexpected thing. It told such a fine story and was a really fantastic babyface performance from Ivelisse. It really had a great pull and in a fed that hasn't done a great job building to triumphant title victories, midway through this I was genuinely interested in rooting Ivelisse to victory. That's special whenever it happens. Ivelisse has been dealt kind of a bum wrap due to injuries. She's had two big injuries that happened right when she was getting big momentum and they cut her right off. After this performance I thought she would make a great choice for a Mae Young Classic deep run. Rachel was watching this with me and sometimes she pays attention, sometimes she doesn't (though she seems to pay attention the most during women's matches), but midway through this match she says, "Hey she's really good. I forgot we were watching a man vs. woman match." It's not that she's bridging the gap with power spots, but she's working like a fun Rey Mysterio underdog and her execution lands heavy enough that the weight difference is plausible. Her strikes look good, her headscissors and armdrags have good pull, and I like her crisscross stuff off the ropes. She has really expressive reactions and it was awesome to see this big babyface performance on TV without it getting into overly emotional Gargano territory. Azteca played his part well, he didn't work this as a heavy breathing try hard babyface, he worked subtle heel and he did it well. It would have been easy to chicken out and work face vs. face but he was kind of a dick, not hesitating to work snug with a lady, doing cool little things like whipping her arm into the mat. This was really good, and I really hope this is a star making moment for Ivelisse. The fans have been over the top for her since the beginning, and fuck it, let her get imbued with some kind of paranormal super powers and have her destroy Penta H in the series finale. It's all I want now.

TL: I like Azteca and feel like Ivelisse can be good in small doses, but reading Eric's first sentence made me take pause. I mean, he said himself it was unexpected, so that means I get to look at this in a totally different manner than he did. Totally expected, if you will. Vampiro putting Dragon Azteca "Between #1 and #2" on his Best in the World list is certainly a take, hope he puts in a #WDKW100 ballot. I do like Azteca basing for Ivelisse early, as her arm drags are actually really fluid and her lucha background is sound. The match itself is really basic, but well done. Azteca has good cutoffs, good snap on his offense, deep submissions, and it amplifies Ivelisse's offense. I'm starting to see why Eric enjoyed this match so much. That DDT off the ropes was nasty and Azteca took it on the dome. This is so much different than your normal LU match where folks are trying to get in ridiculous moves for two counts. These two are simplifying things and it's making the bigger moves mean that much more. Right on cue, Azteca doing the damn Pillman bump off the stair rail on his missed dive was disgusting. The stretch run from there is really fun, as Ivelisse expands on her fun offense and Azteca doing simple reversals gives it more impact. Yeah, that was a great match. I'd have to think a bit on whether it's the match of the season so far, but that match had absolutely no reason to be that good and it overdelivered. The improvement Ivelisse has shown after her injury riddled third season is noticeable. She can go. Really impressive showing here.

King Cuerno vs. Mil Muertes

ER: I thought this was money too, even if Cuerno has lost significant luster since season 1. It's a big boy battle that only goes a few minutes before ending in a DQ (a LU rarity), but we get a tremendous Mil performance and a super fun slugfest finish. Cuerno felt on Mil's level a few seasons ago, a guy who could be the potential top guy in the fed, and while that feeling isn't really there for me anymore he's still a guy who makes a fun match for Mil. Mil's big right hand might be my favorite thing in the fed, and I loved him crushing Cuerno with corner lariats before dropping him with that right. But the big fireworks in this one happen once they both spill to the floor, as they do nothing more than throw punch combinations at each other. Stand and Trade is such a fickle thing for me, as it's kinda like art: I know I like it when I like it. Here I liked it, just two dudes landing big rights to the jaw, real nice worked punches that would have played well even without sound sweetening, both mixing it up with occasional body shots, some cool close up magic from both. Marty Elias tries to get them back in the ring and gets violently shoved into the front row of fans for the DQ, Elias taking a great backwards bump into the fans. This all worked for me.

TL: I'm surprised this didn't get saved until Ultima Lucha, honestly, as it really could have been built to another big match between these two who are a great pairing. I always gush on Muertes' offense, but everything he does in this setting looks so crisp. His working punch is tremendous, and then he throws these standing mounted punches that look like crap when other folks try them but he makes look good. Also gets to hit his snap powerslam and his awesome chokeslam, so I'm sufficiently entertained. This is being worked with urgency, which it should be considering their history, and I dig it. The punches they trade back and forth are fantastic, and they are absolutely hauling off on each other. Whenever the camera misses a cut on a punch and you see the impact, you can see just how they thud. I mean, I don't know who told them to go out and work a goddamn Lawler/Dundee match, but God bless whoever did. Digging the Double DQ because you could buy them tossing Marty Elias aside, but I don't like them getting "rewarded" by getting into a match with Triple P. Maybe his laziness will make him want to stand aside and let these two haul off on each other? Because that's what I want.

Aerostar/Drago/Fenix vs. The Reptile Tribe

ER: This was mostly a rush job to serve as a backdrop for a pretty - on the surface - pointless rudo turn from Fenix. I thought the match was going along fine until the silly turn, with Drago putting in a nice showing (good to see after his brutal performance against Jake Strong), getting launched into a cool dive by Fenix and hitting this trippy assisted headscissors out of the corner. Jeremiah Snake (ugh) had nice snap on his lariats and bumped big for the fliers. Everything was going fine. Then Fenix turned on Aerostar and made really made grouchy faces, and shoved Melissa to the ground. I think the Melissa/Fenix videos were among the best of those kind of vignettes they've done. They were silly, but silly in the way that I wanted, and always sweet. That's important. A turn this late in the game makes no sense, and I can't imagine anyone who was excited when seeing it happen. We'll see where it goes I guess, but this show is in the home stretch at this point, why end something like this on a sour note?

TL: I can buy Jake Strong taking on three dudes after his recent Bellator win where he looked like a goddamn machine so I'm all in on him calling folks out like that. Dark Fenix being an obvious foreshadowing for his eventual teaming up with his brother is a choice. This is my contractually obligated sentence where I talk about how I miss Pindar. Daga started working Dragon Gate recently. He's no Adam Mayhem, but at least his offense has a bit more snap to it. Really odd to see this style of wrestling after a match featuring more traditional lucha and then an all-out brawl, so it's tough for me to get into it, but also, I like maybe, what, 2 people in this match? Fenix when he's on is damn good and I've seen Kobra work some great matches in tag teams in 2018. Dark Fenix's offensive outburst was tremendous and he's that much better than his brother's dark persona in all of 75 seconds. The heel control segments in this match just aren't engaging at all. Really think this should have been worked as more of a sprint. Aerostar hits a nice Silver King dive, Dragon hits that vaulted tornillo, and then Fenix does the turn given away by his black outfit. Because that means he's evil. I agree with Eric: Losing Fenix/Melissa is a huge blow for this series' production values and for love in general. Because getting the Lucha Bros. together in LU is more important than love, I guess. It's not at all. Not even a little bit.

TL: Okay, this is an honest question: Does Antonio Cueto know how to open a beer bottle? Was that a hammer he was using to open his Modelo? Dying to know where Marty got all that cash, too. I know he's got "aztec blood" in him, but who's the benefactor giving him all that cash?

COMPLETE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 8: The Ranks of the Reptiles

TL: Vampiro (and Striker) Fashion Update: Alumni of perhaps the worst frat ever, and that covers some ground. I have no idea why they decided an announce team needed letterman jackets, but here we are, with an old corner and an overweight defensive end reliving the glory days.

Daga vs. "The Darewolf" PJ Black

ER: This was one of those matches that got a lot of time, and was instantly forgotten the moment it was over. Both guys are okay but are lifeless. I forget why Daga is one of the lizard people, but what immediately struck me as strange about this match was that Black was clearly working as heel, while Daga was getting the babyface comebacks. This was the case in the Mundo/Vibora match, and I get that Worldwide Underground are heels....but the other team are LIZARD PEOPLE. There has not been a single piece of science fiction literature where trusting a race of lizard people has lead to prosperity. LU keeps making things so much more shades of grey, that we're now rooting for Lizard People over a group of people who are just vaguely dickheadish. I thought a lot of Black's flying looked bad here, a lot of it being rejected AJ Styles offense with distance not figured out. That quebrada DDT rarely looks good, and there was a funny spot where Black goes for a springboard moonsault off the top, Daga moves a few inches, and Black misses him by a couple feet. Daga is like the least memorable "That kind of guy" in wrestling. I've watched a couple dozen Daga matches, and damned if I can remember watching a couple dozen Daga matches. That guy is wallpaper, but wallpaper that does a couple fast rope running spots and some kick combos. The moments I liked best here were when Black was grounded, and just landing decent punches, nice forearms smashes, and eyepokes. That kind of stuff looks good, he does it well, and it's far more interesting than seeing that stupid as hell sunset flip reversal of a top rope rana, or seeing Daga take the most scenic trip possible to roll into a crucifix submission. This kind of thing is one of my least favorite things.

TL: A minute into the match, Black misses his quebrada, but doesn’t really sell it, just stays on his hands and knees waiting for Daga to hit the ropes and dropkick him. And it’s not edited. There’s a lot of smooth cutaways to awkward camera angles to hide some missteps, but even then, it’s not enough to save it. Daga is truly lucha Noam Dar, an elite athlete with good looking offense who has very little clue to put on a cohesive wrestling match. At least Dar is good on Twitter. Everything in this match seemed like a chore. The finish was overly elaborate. The postmatch was…whatever. Striker calls either Morrison or Black Mike Trout. Pretty sure Kobra messed up on her promo. That sure was a 10-minute wrestling segment. I kinda want an oral history of that segment because I guarantee the editing process on that whole thing is probably the toughest job in the history of the show.

And now after the match The WU clears the ring like total babyfaces and then are portrayed in the promos after as the good guys, which, again, makes sense because the other people are an evil LIZARD TRIBE. It's a having cake and eating it situation. A lot of WU work better as heels, and they are heels, and a lot of the lizards aren't good at working heel, so they have naturally worked face against WU...it's just that none of it actually makes sense.

ER: I really wouldn't mind a return of ghost Big Ryck. We really only saw him against smaller flippy guys, and it would be cool to see him take on some of the bigger LU dudes. Only as a ghost, I guess.

TL: Mack apparently has never ridden Pirates of the Caribbean to prepare him for seeing Big Ryck’s skull (with a cigar sticking out of it, no less; where’s the damn crow perched atop it?) Although him saying, “Damn, woman. They need to put a bell on you or something!” when Katrina appeared got a chuckle out of me.

The Rabbit Tribe vs. Killshot/Son of Havoc/The Mack

ER: I really liked the Rabbit Tribe portions of this, but at a certain point it became the Killshot show and it didn't grab me the same. Remember what I've said this season about how they seem to be focusing on the guys I like least? That's definitely a running theme. I guess that theme has always been around in LU - we got an awful lot of triumphant Sexy Star moments - but this season seriously feels like you can take my "least want to see this guy featured" performer in any given match, and that's the guy that's getting gushed about by Striker. There's just too much pout and pomp to make Killshot work for me, and an reliance on strikes that only work with classic LU sound sweetening. Killshot was by far the most featured guy of the champs, though Havoc hit a nice dive down the stretch, Mack hit a big ol' bullfrog splash. London and Saltador looked great though. London is fully reenergized, throwing everything he has explosively, snapping kicks and adding in a headbutt, missing as big as he hits. Saltador is so smooth and always pulls out a new trick, and I loved his fast tope con hilo here. Really this fed just needs to turn into a kick punch fed. That would be more edgy than stacked tower powerbomb spots in 2018.

TL: Vampiro with an all-time out there call in this match, going all “Gangs of New York” references and then talking about how Mala Suerte is a vegan and that’s why he’s moving around so well. Then he tries to rename a Samoan Drop. Then he and Striker plug Modelo. London’s outfit has a sparkly codpiece. How does THAT not come up? Don’t know why we need a Tower of Doom spot in 2018 still. Don’t know why we need Killshot getting featured when Mack is right there. Mala Suerte at least throwing some sweet shots. Saltador with a nice somersault plancha. London, as per usual, bumps around well. Nice Havoc tope. HEAVY as hell Mack splash. Killshot steals the pin and I’m supposed to care, I guess. Sure. Reaaallllly struggling not to just keep pushing the fast forward button.

Cage/King Cuerno vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: I really didn't need to see Pentagon working a 0.8 vintage HHH match. Pentagon would have had to win this thing for him to be working full Haitch, but he is just not a squash match worker who looks credible against these two. Hats off especially to Cage for stumbling around the ring getting into perfect position for everything, taking a lunatic flipping piledriver, taking a slingblade on his neck, catching a flip dive perfectly, and Cuerno was right there with him. I think Cuerno is the only guy I've ever seen manage to drop on his head while taking a backcracker. Pentagon does look back, he just doesn't look as good as either of the two guys he was mostly having no problems handling. My favorite moment of the match might have been Cuerno throwing a nice low knee in the corner while the ref wasn't watching, but damn Cage throwing Pentagon into a Cuerno kneelift would be a great Destruction Crew type finisher that would result in a million dollar jobber payout. There was plenty of cool stuff here on the Cuerno/Cage side of things, but MAN am I not wanting any more steps towards Triple Penta.

TL: Jeeeesus. Pentagon handling Cage like he did was a bit hard to swallow, and now he’s in a damn handicap match with Cuerno? This is truly Kenny Omega IWGP Champ level-stuff here. Just right down our throats without even a tap on the top of the head to prepare us. Penta at least isn’t lazy in this, but he also isn’t enthralling, either. One of my favorite things in wrestling is when makeshift tag teams find a way to throw out some good double team offense, and yeah, that lift into the knee was great stuff. I think if Penta had won this, I would have asked Eric if we could have skipped ahead to the point where he lost the belt, spoilers be damned.

TL: Eric no-selling the ending skit, which is Mundo dressed like Indiana Jones, saying how much he hates snakes, and then going to the Snake Pit to take on the Reptiles, where Taya cuts off the head of the Luchasaurus. This is so unbelievably bad that it’s probably the best skit in LU history, too. For THIS episode to end THIS way is either the world’s biggest heat check or the writing team crossing the last crazy idea they had off their list and tapping out. Guess this is the Year of Murder on Lucha Underground. Man, I miss Pindar.

ER: So what happened, was I sent my draft to Tim but accidentally didn't copy the part where I actually acknowledged a very tall lizard getting beheaded. Go figure, that Vibora has the best couple appearances of his career, and now he's dead. All the babyfaces on this show seem fine with murder at this point, why didn't any of them have these flexible morals when Sexy Star was still around? Also, can someone murder Pentagon? I'm tired of seeing him.


COMPLETE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 7: The Gift That Keeps on Giving

ER: I have not noticed the older mom in pigtails as one of the LU fans. Boy were all of those people behind Striker and Vampiro something. A mom and dad with their two large adult sons? Plenty of large sons in the crowd, but you don't always see their small white parents.

TL: Amazing that a doctor was able to repair Famous B’s leg due to a possible compound fracture in 2018, when things like compound fractures apparently lead to amputation. Really happy modern medicine won out in the end. Also, guaranteed that mom has some stories to tell about going to the Forum in ’77 to watch Roddy Piper cause riots in his feud with Chavo Guerrero. Imagining her asking Vampiro if he knows “La Cucaracha” the entire show and smiling. Nothing better than a middle-aged woman wrestling fan.

Sammy Guevara vs. "The Savage" Jake Strong

ER: Gotta say I'm still surprised by the by crowd reactions from Strong. Although now thinking about it I'd like to see a grappling match with he and Cobb. I know they've wrestled before, and I don't expect the grappling match to happen in LU (since it would be extremely dumb to see Matanza working mat exchanges), but I bet it would be good. This started as another Strong showcase, and it was fine, with big throws and his big running splash. But I liked that Guevara got some hope spots, and that huge moonsault off the balcony. I don't think we've gotten a balcony dive yet this season, which has obviously been a staple of previous seasons. The Temple itself has been so much less of a character this season. I don't really have much of a sense of what we're in the middle of, it was nice having an idea of the internal layout of the last Temple. The Guevara moonsault looked nuts, camera picked up the height great, and I liked Guevara's run. Better than I expected.

TL: Strong has looked pretty damn good in his LU run, surprising me a little bit, to be honest. Him manhandling Guevara to start was really fun to watch. Guevara’s big dive was something else, although from the match layout, having his ankle torqued on like that and then doing a 30-foot moonsault doesn’t really add up. Then he’s walking around on offense and doing a springboard right back into the ankle lock and Strong finishes with an unrealistic pop of the ankle sound effect. Good for Guevara getting a chance to shine, though, and yeah, the moonsault is up there with the Angelico roof dive from the end of Season 1.

Vinny Massaro vs. Matanza

ER: It's great that Vinny is still somehow making TV. It feels like they're really dragging out his eventual murder. Who would have had Mascarita Sagrada getting murdered before Vinny? Matanza chokes Vinny's pizza delivery boy and Vinny stands up for him, hits the snoring elbow (which always lands hard, while having the absolutely slowest spin), but Matanza headbutts him on a follow up. Wrath of the Gods is hit on a big heavy guy, you knew what this would be.

TL: Friend of my Twitter Feed and 2018 Jun Akiyama in Mexico Opponent Vinny Mass out here doing more in two minutes than most folks have done with 20 on this show. Got an honest-to-God Snoring Elbow in and this was exactly what it was supposed to be. “It’s pineapple!”

ER: Vinny followed my twitter feed for about an hour last year. I got the notification that he was following me, checked the link to his page, and saw he was no longer following me. He must have seen old reviews of me talking about lazy Ultimo Panda performances.

The Mack/Son of Havoc/Ivelisse vs. King Cuerno/Dezmond X/Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: In case you haven't forgotten, anything involving Papa Cueto speaking for any length of time is almost automatically the worst thing on any episode. Striker keeps calling Dezmond a rookie for some reason, even though he's been showing up on Impact for a couple years. This was an inoffensive match that ended rather abruptly and never really got into a next gear. Ivelisse looks silly pulling offense on Cuerno, it just doesn't work. Mack gets the bulk of this and looks good, as usual, caps it off with a giant fat guy flip dive. The match was used to set up the following match, and it felt the whole time like it was being used to set up another match.

TL: Is Ivelisse a Muse fan? She must be a Muse fan with that entrance music. Also, Eric, Striker is obviously using the Meltzer Rookie of the Year rules in regard to Desmond. TV’s the only thing that matters, man. I usually look for booking tells with the Cueto nonsense but it’s a bit difficult to see who goes on here and at least there’s intrigue. Mack needs only 45 seconds in the match to outshine everyone else, as per usual. Seriously, strap the damn rocket to his back! Desmond sure looked like a rookie with the most obvious thigh slap in Lucha Underground history, which is covering some ground. AND WE GET A MACK HOT TAG? Yeeeeaaaaaaah, baby! The tornillo was choice. Havoc’s Sasuke Special has this insane velocity to it, too. Truly impressive back-to-back dives. Then Havoc gets caught with the Thrill of the Hunt by Cuerno for the upset. This leads to some awesome Muertes post-match shenanigans. Kinda hard not for me to like this segment when you get to highlight both Mack and Muertes.

ER: Even with Meltzer rules I assume that Pop! is in more houses than El Rey, but as someone who has watched Schitt's Creek through multiple times I imagine I make up an actual percentage of Pop! viewers.

King Cuerno vs. Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Dezmond X

ER: The Gift of the Gods title means nothing to me at this point, so I don't care about the silly ways that we got to Dragon Azteca Jr: Champion. I can't get too excited when Mil Muertes lost his medallion just because, and Azteca wound up on a winning trios team. Azteca has lost more matches than he has won in LU, constantly feels like a guy who backs into every gain he makes. BUT, I came away from this match very, very impressed with Dezmond X. I've liked him before, but this felt like the best performance of his that I've seen. I really liked an Impact match last year against Ishimori, for context of what I thought of his prior work, but this felt like another level. He owned in this match, throwing impressive snap punches (let's be honest, he won me over when he ran in with a nice punch and shook his fist out, swoon), throws cool body shots, offense looked tightened up, and then he hit a gorgeous flip dive off one of the higher points of the temple (awesome catch by the other two as well). Cuerno feels like a major stock falling guy, no matter how much hyperbolic praise is heaped on him by Striker, but his tope still looks killer as hell. One spot I really hated: Cuerno holding Azteca in an Indian Deathlock, and Dezmond leaps at Cuerno looking for a wheelbarrow roll up. What a stupid piece of dance wrestling. Dezmond had just been kicking and punching people the entire match, but now that Cuerno nicely has his leg tied up and is standing prone in the middle? Sure, that's when you leap at him and look for a roll up so he can catch you in a full nelson. It's a dumb looking show piece that ground a nice pace to a half, for an end result that is almost as exciting as a magician guessing your card on the third try. My eyes are definitely open to Dezmond X after this one, hope he gets a decent "replacement Puma" run here.

TL: Three-way matches in LU have actually delivered more often than not, hilariously. Seems really odd to say that given three-ways are designed to not be aesthetically pleasing. This was what you’d expect from these three, where they get cute with the three-way spots and there are dives galore. Once this got going, this was more of your generic cookie-cutter brand of match, which makes me regret my topic sentence of this paragraph. If this was a Mack-centric three-way instead, there would have been way more enjoyment for me. Still, very happy to eat my words on Desmond, who definitely showed more this week than I expected and had the full repertoire on display like Eric said. Also, amazing to think that on the same show where Guevara hit a damn moonsault off the balcony that Desmond doing the flip dive off the top of the entranceway looked just as good, if not better. Ending was a bit too cute, as I didn’t need the backflip off the top leading into the top rope wheelbarrow drop. My biggest issue with three ways in general: Have to do these spots that look cool but either don’t make sense or actively take away from the match. A mixed bag of a match that had its moments. Really difficult for me to see Dragon as anywhere close to Pentagon given how Pentagon’s been booked, but hey, that’s why I’m writing on here and not in a production room in a Los Angeles studio.

TL: I was trying to figure out which 90’s prestige film-based porn producer’s house in the Valley that Marty and Mariposa were staying at during their non-sensical promo. Jackie Treehorn would have had a much nicer place even as he was just starting his career, although he’d be into the glass tabletops. Maybe Jack Horner? If we saw a pool, I could imagine it being a spot Horner would have been able to hunker down in between shoots on the couch in the living room. Were most porn producers in the 70’s named Jack? You know, don’t look it up. I’m going to assume the answer is unequivocally “Yes.”


COMPLETE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 4: Pain, Love and Sacrifice to the Gods

TL: Catrina trades in the dominatrix starter kit for the Jessica Rabbit dress sans sparkles thanks to a reverse Snow White? I mean, considering the magic threshold on this show, a wardrobe change seems like an odd way to show off your newly stolen lifeforce. Also, I’m sorry, but the dude’s LITERALLY NAMED FENIX. As in, HE RISES FROM THE DEAD. How are we not supposed to see him coming back from the dead after this? “Hey, Mark. We’re gonna call you Big Mac not because you’re super strong and your last name is McGwire, but because you’re a big fan of Burger King.” Zigging when they should zag, man.

Also, we get Striker saying Famous B might need a literal leg amputation due to what Jake Strong did to him two weeks ago, which is less believable than anything that happened with Catrina to open the show.

Big Bad Steve vs. Jake Strong

ER: Damn this was shaping up to be my favorite match of the new season, as it had the pacing of a cool big dude stiff fest (really looking forward to see what Google hits we get from "big dude stiff fest"), but then it kind of quickly flipped switch into full Jake Strong showcase squash. Strong and his flesh beard still come off a little mouth breath-y, but with Steve's bumping he came off pretty badass. Steve threw a couple of thee fucking best punches of 2018 in the middle of this, throwing one corker, and than a wrist bending shot right off Strong's forehead, staggering him. Strong had big shots to the gut, hard back elbows, stiff avalanche, wrestling tougher than I expected from his Impact run. After the match Strong hits a nasty powerbomb on the floor, Steve really getting planted. This was cool, really could have been awesome with a bit more time.

TL: Not gonna lie: Kinda want a shirt with the Big Bad Steve logo on it. The fact they actually made a logo for him is awesome considering a lot of folks in WWE can’t even get a damn shirt made. Steve has some great right hands as previously mentioned, as someone named Big Bad Steve should have, but they just look nasty as all hell, even with Strong’s stiff strikes going right back at him. Really shows how even the simplest of offense can make someone look good like that. We lost our boy Pindar due to beheading at the end of last season, so I’m definitely down to see Steve in his place as burly base with good looking offense. Strong squashes are necessity due to what they want him to be this season, but yeah, I wish this had more back and forth to it. Still, a good piece of business, as the kids say.

TL: As good as lucha masks and sweet suits are, lucha masks and cowboy hats are basically right there with them, and Cuerno makes it look good. Cage gets to flex and flex into a Muertes match next week and yeah, I am on board for that.

Daga/Kobra Moon vs. Johnny Mundo/Taya

ER: Really fun match, Mundo and Taya working full on babyface, and Taya looks to be having a blast with it, and it's kind of infectious. She really laid it in too, hitting some spirited back elbows and strikes, kicking Moon in the back of the head and hitting a sick curb stomp that bounced her forehead off the mat. Mundo hit his timing spots nicely, he and Taya actually come off tas the rare cool "shades of gray" characters, that can work either way one week to the next. Moon took a nice beating here, and Daga runs nicely into Mundo kicks. I liked this a lot more than I expected (just like Strong's performance, I must be in a real good mood, leaded instead of unleaded.

TL: I really want to like Daga because he’s got the athleticism and looks like a guy who can hang either as a tecnico or rudo, but he just doesn’t have charisma like you’d think. Taya was the standout here, doing a good lucha sequence with Daga and just bringing the stiffness with her strikes. That curbstomp was NASTY, as was PJ Black’s kick to set it up. Don’t know if I liked it as much as Eric, but it certainly didn’t suck.

ER: We're definitely into Leaded territory here because I dug that Vibora wrecking ball segment after the mixed tag. Vibora hitting goateed lizard cannonballs and big boots was apparently just what I needed.

TL: So Vibora goes off in the offseason and has some honest-to-god improved offense and looks like way better ring presence. Suffice to say, if this Vibora is the one we get this year, count me in.

Mr. Pectacular vs. Matanza

ER: I didn't feel like seeing Mr. Pectacular (although maybe in my good mood I'd like him in a gassed Power Plant trainee kind of way), and Matanza puts in a nice unlocked and unleashed squash. He hits a cool twisting back suplex after throwing Pecs into the corner, and then hits probably his greatest Wrath of the Gods, stopping, pivoting, feet leaving the mat to slam him the other way. A nice comeback for a person who murdered someone by ripping their face off a couple seasons ago.

TL: Pec just makes me miss Tino Sabbatelli (who, coincidentally has a pec injury right now), but he takes a great beating here. The Matanza body control points have been pointed out time and time again by us, but this was it at the top of its game. Everything had extra oomph to it, and sign me up for an unleashed Matanza, which was my favorite part of Season 2. This was a Mil Muertes-level squash here.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. King Cuerno

ER: Wasn't expecting the comeback of Chavo, and it's good to see him still. a guy who should get more credit for what he's done. Chavo can still put on a good show, limps out a tweaked knee, hits a heavy crossbody, bumps hard over the top the floor, eats a chairshot, do some nice balance beam fight work around the raised barrier (which Cuerno hits a great high crossbody off of); Chavo is like the better version of David Sierra, and that's a good thing. We do get an unfortunately messy teeter totter spot, with Chavo setting up way close to the ropes, but Cuerno got through the spot well, and hit his bullet dive right after, which was convenient timing. I thought both came off well overall, but Cuerno came off stronger and that's more important.

TL: It’s funny that Eric waxes strong on Chavo to begin this after what I said about Muertes in our last review. Totally agree that he’s underrated in a way, and that he’s done a lot in a career that’s basically a quarter century long. I think I might be higher on Cuerno than other people, as I always liked his offense, and he shows off some personality here, too, playing to the crowd and helping build to the big spots, like the aforementioned bullet tope (preceded by an awesome top rope sunset flip). Guerrero shtick never really gets old, and Chavo knows how to do little things in matches that stick out. Enjoyable stuff and yeah, a good ending to a good top-to-bottom episode. The further we are away from the season premiere, the more this is turning into a show I enjoy watching again.

ER: My favorite episode of the season so far, We got manageable length matches with big dudes doing cool spots, just a really fun quick moving show. Felt exciting and action packed.


COMPLETE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 1: El Jefe

ER: Yeah yeah, we're back. We're late because of me, but we're back. I am still doing this spoiler free, which is seeming like an exponentially stupid thing to do considering I've liked each season less than the one that preceded it. I'm hoping for a nice return to form this season. Saying that, I don't actually know who is still involved with the fed, which is part of the fun/horror of going into this thing blind.

TL: Hilariously, if we didn't avoid spoilers, we might cherry pick through things instead on here. There's a lot of horror in this one, though. A LOT of horror.

ER: I immediately regret falling behind at the very beginning of the season, since we get introduced to Papa Antonio Cueto, which I imagine caused quite the varied reactions. I both love it for its ridiculousness, and hate it for its everything else. This is clearly a show with some money behind it, surely we have some extra dough in the coffers for a better wig? Cueto's wig was a 0.8 on the Amanda Bynes Courtroom Appearance scale. The beardwork was okay. The voicework was sub-Christian Bale Batman growl voice. The framed photo was as good as any funeral portrait you've seen, but they lose major points for not having a Temple flower arrangement. Okay this was fucking awful.

TL: So, we get the saga of Dario, the feds, and the power glove, complete with Lorenzo Lamas’ removed eyeball and some dude in a Puma mask who may or may not look like someone who has a big match coming up at NXT: Takeover Brooklyn 4. But THEN we get Dario not only dying, but his father coming to his sparsely attended funeral.

AND IT’S THE SAME GUY THAT PLAYED DARIO WHO IS PLAYING HIS FATHER.

Imagine after the aborted Vince car bomb angle that got shelved because He Who Shall Not Be Named did That Which Shall Not Be Described, you get Vince coming back as the ghost of Vince Sr. haunting Raw on a regular basis. It would have been way better than the Twitter bot that played the Raw GM for months upon months. I understand LU is a pulp show on a pulp network and there is some goofiness going on, but this goes beyond the pale on the goofiness scale. Of course, Antonio berates his son, knocks down his memorial portrait in the ring because he finally has control of HIS promotion, and then announces Aztec Warfare for the LU title. That is definitely a way to start off the new season of this show.


Aztec Warfare 4!

ER: Okay, THIS was fucking awful. What a terrible, sluggish, boring, uninteresting match to start your 4th season off with a fart sound. This whole mess was designed to show the dominance of Pentagon, and for a lazy dude he turned in one of his absolutely laziest performances I've seen. Maybe because it was so long and one-note? It was bad. It started with him and Tommy Dreamer having a super slow mo kendo stick battle, and continued with him hitting his finisher on approximately 10 guys. The new entrants appear to be coming in every 30 seconds, and there's an elimination every 30-60 seconds. New guys come in, new guys take one move, new guys leave. It was fucking awful. Even Matt Striker wasn't trying, and brother they don't come more try hard than Matt Striker. In arguably the least inspired moment of a match filled with uninspired moments, Vinny Massaro comes out, gets a pepperoni pizza delivery, starts to eat a slice and in the flattest tone I've ever heard from him Striker weakly says "PizzaGate". That's it. That's the joke. The joke is that there is no joke. There's a reference, but no attempt at a joke. And the reference is already nearly 2 years past expiration. When Pentagon hooked Massaro's leg on the pin I expected him to flatly sputter out a Sandy Hook reference, but no. I rooted pretty hard for Chavo, just because he was infinitely more interesting in this match than Pentagon, and the crowd clearly hates him because he's...well, no LU fans were ever able to give any actual reason why they disliked Chavo. Striker points out how hot Catrina looks, and normally the golf with eyes bugging out and a tongue on the floor reaction from Striker is the lamest, but in an aggressively shitty match like this Catrina's hotness really was a genuine highlight. Fenix was easily the most interesting of the wrestlers involved, and it really wouldn't have taken much effort from him to earn that title. Awful, awful, boring, lazy match.

TL: I actually wrote out a play by play for this because I'm absolutely crazy and also thorough when it comes to pro wrestling things I feel like I have to watch. Good lord almighty was this a slog to get through. I mean absolutely terrible in most ways. The idea behind it was to absolutely make Pentagon The Guy in the promotion, but instead, it's like a Cliff's Notes version of the folks you might see on this program week to week, and it really doesn't do a good job of selling that here. Pentagon is in at 6, and it doesn't get actually entertaining until Fenix is in at 13, where he outshines his brother in like 1/25 the time. The biggest issue I had with this is that all the guys you'd be excited to see, especially someone like Muertes, are in the match for all of like...2 minutes? I mean, Chavo gets a producer's run? Marty gets a shot to try and score an upset on Pentagon as the final guy in the match? Especially after Marty lost to Fenix in the way he did last season? This isn't even a reset. It's like taking the neuralizer from Men In Black. And after this I need it. There isn't a single thing coming out of this that makes me excited for what's to come, and that's a terrible omen for a show that already blows so hot and cold.

ER: And we get more from Papa Cueto, which was a character that just could not have sounded good at any step of the writing process. I'm not as imaginative as I perhaps once was, but I cannot actually imagine a worse way to start a new season of LU. This honestly has to be the worst episode in the history of the series.

TL: Can we get Lorenzo Lamas back up in this thing again please? More Godfrey? Papa Cueto has worn out his welcome and it's only been one show. I started reviewing these with a Sexy Star match. This whole show was worse than that feeling.


COMPLETE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND

Read more!

2016 Ongoing MOTY List: Cuerno v. Muertes Death Match

King Cuerno v. Mil Muertes Lucha Underground 1/30 (Aired 7/13/16)

ER: Yeah this was awesome. As it started I actually thought it was going to be Mil just steamrolling Cuerno, and that would kind of make sense considering how Cuerno has been treated this season. He really hasn't been booked as a guy who should be able to hang with Muertes. All season he's been booked as the least important man in 6 man tags, and losing almost all of his singles matches. So when Muertes came out and just plowed through him the first few minutes I thought "yep this seems right" and figured I would just sit back and enjoy Cuerno getting knocked upside down by lariats and tossed through stacks of chairs. But then Cuerno hits his awesome tope and a big crossbody off the railing and suddenly Cuerno is punching Muertes in the face all the way up the Temple steps, and Muertes goes face first through a window. Cuerno tumbles all the way back down the Temple steps and man we've got a fight. I loved Cuerno shoving Catrina outs of the way, which sets off a wild mama bear instinct in Muertes, with him violently plastering Cuerno through all of the tables that had been set up earlier. Out of control brawls seem to be LU's specialty, and this was a good one.

PAS: I thought this was a step below the all time Muerte street fight classics, but was still good violent fun. Muertes dominates most of this with big shots, he has some of the better meaty punches in wrestling history, reminds me of peak Jim Duggan. I liked all of the big Cuerno spots, awesome tope and the wall walk DDT was fun too. The crowbar shots at the end of the match felt like watching a murder, and that martinete was crushing. I would have liked to see the smashes through the windows mean a little more, but I still enjoyed this a lot. Big match Muertes is one of the best guys in the world.


2016 MOTY MASTER LIST

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 2 Episode 25: Ultima Lucha Dos - Part II

1. Daga vs. Sinestro de la Muerte vs. Mariposa vs. Marty the Moth Martinez vs. Sexy Star vs. Killshot vs. Night Claw

ER: I enjoyed this a lot more than I thought I would, and that's with Sexy Star just Sexy Starring all over the place (I mean, she *literally* had to have her hand held through portions of this). Typically these Gift of the Gods multimans have been total messes, as matches with odd numbers tend to be. But this match had a flat out terrific performance from Marty the Moth that just transcended the whole thing. I also thought this was Daga's best performance in LU, they got Sinestro out of there quick, and for a guy I've (deservedly) dumped on, Killshot probably had his best moments too. I really wasn't impressed with Night Claw. His mask was dorky as hell, and his move set up was interminable. He and Daga just slowly climbing opposite sides of a turnbuckle without even pretending to show animosity to one another was just embarrassing. At least they had the good sense to show Kobra Moon licking her chops at Daga during part of the set up. But yeah, Night Claw didn't move the needle for me. No, this match was all about The Moth. Everybody else could have totally stunk (and there was plenty of stink) and this still would have been pretty great just because of The Moth. This guy did it all during the match, kept his stories straight with Sexy Star and Killshot and Melissa Santos, taunting and leering at all three of them when applicable. He bumped around huge and made everybody look like a killer, the best being his great bump to the floor and into the barricade, and that absolutely BRUTAL bump in the Temple steps. I rewound that a few times. He bumped hard into them, the way someone usually bumps into the WWE ring steps, except THOSE steps actually move, these steps likely just provided Moth with a arthritic rotator cuff the rest of his life. So he falls all around, makes his arm look all hyperextended while in a terrible armbar, adds personality that nobody else bothers with (everybody else just relies on Striker to fill in their intentions and emotions, Moth actually knows how to convey them), and essentially you have a one man show. But it was an awesome show.

MD: Glad to see I'm on the same page with Eric. I came out of this match just wanting to see Marty bump and stooge and interact with people. I think, currently, the most exciting match Lucha Underground can put on for me is Marty vs Rey. That said, there were frustrations here that didn't just have to do with Sexy Star's execution (and that WAS a problem. I'm not an execution guy in the least, but when it's the central story of the match, it has to hold up. You can't be seeing the strings and there were points, like with her Fujiwara Armbar, where I was). I'm also on board with Marty being the only one fully committing himself. At one point after eating a dive, Nightclaw's idea of selling was to adjust his wristbands in the least subtle way possible. I wish Mariposa leaned into her character a little more too. I think she had in previous matches but whereas this created opportunities for Marty, it may have made it harder with everyone else, having to hit their spots. And there was just too much collaboration (especially with Daga and Nightclaw but not just).

MD: The bigger problem was something we'll see up and down the finale. My impression from interviews I've read is that they see season 2 and 3 as one bit mega-season and it showed. There was far more of a sense of finality in the first Ultima Lucha. There was less of that in this, especially since we'd already seen Gift of the Gods once this (shorter) season. It had felt like the whole back half of Season 1 was leading up to it. Here we had Cobra Moon lingering but then not even advancing and no resolution with Killshot and Marty. Worse than that was the fact we'd already seen the resolution of this particular Sexy Star arc. She'd fought back, finally, against her opressors, and then she won the big match against Mariposa. That they were crashing up against each other again felt like an afterthought or a retread. It didn't feel like a culmination. Despite that, the fans were sure behind her, so you have to give them that, I suppose. This just wasn't clean in a narrative sense to me, and that, more than anything else, tends to be Lucha Underground's biggest strength. Without that, the entire enterprise is on shaky ground.

ER: My god these cop show segments. I don't even know what to say anymore. Could Castro have given a worse read? How many takes was this? Will someone ever stand up and take credit for this storyline?

2. Death Match: King Cuerno vs. Mil Muertes

ER: Yeah this was awesome. As it started I actually thought it was going to be Mil just steamrolling Cuerno, and that would kind of make sense considering how Cuerno has been treated this season. He really hasn't been booked as a guy who should be able to hang with Muertes. All season he's been booked as the least important man in 6 man tags, and losing almost all of his singles matches. So when Muertes came out and just plowed through him the first few minutes I thought "yep this seems right" and figured I would just sit back and enjoy Cuerno getting knocked upside down by lariats and tossed through stacks of chairs. But then Cuerno hits his awesome tope and a big crossbody off the railing and suddenly Cuerno is punching Muertes in the face all the way up the Temple steps, and Muertes goes face first through a window. Cuerno tumbles all the way back down the Temple steps and man we've got a fight. I loved Cuerno shoving Catrina outs of the way, which sets off a wild mama bear instinct in Muertes, with him violently plastering Cuerno through all of the tables that had been set up earlier. Out of control brawls seem to be LU's specialty, and this was a good one.

MD: I liked Cuerno vs Muertes, but what it really showed me was how much I'd like Muertes vs Hijo del Fantasma, who I always thought was a really good traditional tecnico. He is someone I wish was still in CMLL. Guerrero Maya, Jr. sort of plays that role there now (and he's a tremendous rudo too when given the chance), but Fantasma could do it at the top of the card. Most of his big comebacks felt more tecnico-driven, and I just think the two of them could have an amazing match within those roles. Here, with things as they were, it was harder to care about the comeback as much, both for myself and the crowd, and that was a shame because it was all gritty and visceral. There were some great visuals, like Muertes dragging Cuerno out for the TKO on the floor (even if the wrestling physics of that were off), the window no-sell and the spear to save Catrina. If nothing else, they introduced the idea of the crowbar as a death-weapon, which is always a good thing to have. This just felt inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, a main event of a pre-show, and Muertes deserves better than that.

ER: And then we can't close a show without some high end police drama. Oooooooo their informant got MURDERED by Dario! Oh no! How will they solve it in the ring!? I hate it.

MD: The biggest sin on the cop stuff (having seen the start of season 3) is that any consequence to it was undone so quickly. That was another frustration with Season 2. They should have run longer with Catrina being in charge of the temple and the differences of atmosphere involved. This stuff is a lot easier to swallow if it matters in the grand scheme of things.


COMPLETE LUCHA UNDERGROUND EPISODE GUIDE

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 2 Episode 23: The Phoenix, the Dragon, and the Spaceman

1. King Cuerno vs. Mil Muertes

ER: Real disappointing match. It felt like Liger vs. Juvy where you get all excited for what should be a special and awesome match, and then it goes 4 minutes and has a lame finish. The foot on the ropes finish wasn't a tequila bottle, but it may has well have been. Cuerno was made out to be a twerp who can only hit his one move by total accidental luck (hitting his bullet tope while the ref is admonishing Muertes for no reason other than to get taken  out by the tope) and 90% of the match is Muertes manhandling him while he runs and stooges. Muertes hits a sweet chokeslam but man was I hoping for something wayyyy more between these two.

ER: Do Dario Cueto's tumblers say "Whiskey" on them? That seems....a little too cute. I mean, my mother has two jars in her kitchen that say "Heroin" and "Cocaine" that were a wedding gift some 40 years ago, and I love them and will take them as my own when my parents die. But Dario's office is not my mother's kitchen.

2. Prince Puma vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: Killer little spotfest match, the kind that aims to be a total highlight reel and succeeds. We start with a bunch of fun evasive spots, and things kick up to a new level when Azteca went for a tope and Puma caught him in a fireman's carry. It looked insane. If Puma hadn't caught him then Azteca would just be an ink stain on the Temple steps.  Vampiro says that "this has gone from showing respect, to a low down dirty street fight"....even though there has been like two strikes thrown, and the move just performed was a crazy tornado DDT. I have no fucking clue what street fights a pilled up Vampiro imagined he saw. These guys break out some wild stuff and they both take crazy offense so well. Loved the goofy rolling cradle rana off the top. This was really best way to work a tecnico/tecnico match, just two guys breaking out some wild spots and having a ball doing them. This gives me even higher hopes for Rey/Puma.

ER: Dario has Mack, Cage, Texano and Son of Havoc waiting in the ring, and I assume they will have a match as they're all in their gear and waiting in separate corners of the ring, but instead Dario just announces that they'll fight at Ultima Lucha for the "greatest unique opportunity in the history of this great sport". And then they fight for a little bit. So how great can the greatest unique opportunity be? Like, will it be a title match? It's a title match, right? But that's not very unique, that's just an expected reward considering the context. So it must be something like a blowjob while riding the Gravitron at the county fair? That's an opportunity a lot of people probably haven't had.

3. Fenix vs. Johnny Mundo

ER: I really really liked this. This felt like a higher point within that whole "heavy on reversals, scouted offense, moves set up for the purpose of doing other moves" kind of match. The shit built nicely, it all looked good, the cool stuff looked cool, and that's what you want from that kind of match. Fenix is one of my favorite guys in LU, and was a guy I really didn't care about before LU. He does stuff I like, that I would likely dislike in other situations, like the smooth rope walk stuff he does. Taya has been really great running interference during her time in LU, it's a real strength that not a lot of people get right. Here she clubs Fenix in the throat and holds him in place while Mundo sets up a kick, and it adds to things. Fenix pays her back by flopping onto her on a flip dive, Mundo's knees and springboard crossbody looked really good, and I just really liked all of this.

ER: The Ultima Lucha card looks good. There's a couple matches that I expect nothing from, such as the ring debut of Black Lotus (seems like a waste of Azteca Jr.) and that Gift of the Gods six man looks potentially rough (though I'm happy because they put most of my least favorite people in the same match, and I'd rather have them all out of the way than spread around). But the card as a whole looks pretty damn stacked. I'm hyped.


COMPLETE LUCHA UNDERGROUND EPISODE GUIDE

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 2 Episode 21: Six to Survive

1. King Cuerno vs. Ivelisse vs. Taya vs. Pentagon Jr. vs. Fenix vs. Johnny Mundo

ER: I did not actually realize going into this episode that it was a show long match, and a show long match is kind of difficult to write about. I will say that I thought the first 40 minutes of this were really good, although once it got down to Mundo/Fenix/Pentagon that final 20 minutes felt longer than the first 40. The multiman stuff with 6 people was really good, with everybody finding decent ways to stay occupied, and was really shaping up to be another awesome Fenix performance. Fenix looked awesome in the first part of this, not just the stuff he was doing but the way he was taking offense. I don't know how he was even still walking after taking that leaping kick from Cuerno. Ivelisse is someone whose popularity and charisma is far greater than her ability. There were several spots with people (namely Fenix) holding off on hitting her, because you just can't hit a wittle girl, even though she's been the one female in the company since the inception to fight exclusively against men. Not sure why the psychology on her suddenly changed in this match. Taya put in maybe her finest performance yet, as instead of doing move trading with the guys she acted as a real great stooge in addition to setting up Mundo for success. She has great body language and was really good at facially selling tecnico offense, much better than Mundo.

Once this got down to a 3 way my interest started to wane, though I thought the 3 way portion was actually worked better than the eventual singles match portion. Mundo kept his consecutive streak of not ever  connecting with his finisher in tact. I'm worried one of these days he'll actually land on his opponent instead of smashing his hip into the mat. For a guy with the incredible body control he has, you'd think he could hit some things a little more flush. The Pentagon/Fenix portion started off well enough, and the guys were really beating the hell out of each other during the big strike exchange. But before long it devolved into 50/50 big move trading, with Fenix taking a flip piledriver on the floor, yet somehow beating Pentagon back into the ring and things just got more boring from there. Will this big move end it? Nope, but it gave one guy the power to do his own big move back! Oftentimes elimination matches make the mistake of eliminating too many guys in short order, but really this needed to be edited down. Way, way down. The match hit its peak but then still had 20 minutes left to go. We got plenty of cool moments (though Pentagon Jr. hitting an insane top rope dropkick to Mundo's taint probably should have been saved for the end), and the staredown and promo Pentagon cut on Matanza/Cueto was really good, but for me this exposed Pentagon as just another flipper. No more of that arm breaking psycho charisma, now he's just a guy with a few flipping piledriver variations. He seems far weaker going into his second meeting with Matanza. In the first meeting he at least had an aura of mystery, now he's a guy who played BDSM with Vampiro and wrestles the same as several other guys on the roster.


COMPLETE LUCHA UNDERGROUND EPISODE GUIDE

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 2 Episode 20: The Contenders

1. Marty The Moth Martinez vs. Killshot

ER: This was my kind of Killshot match! It was only a minute long and never made it into the ring! They brawl on the floor and Moth hits a brutal powerbomb, launching Killshot painfully into the guardrail (the one in front of the fans who are up a level), then takes a nasty bump into the announce table as they were getting counted out. The end of the segment, however, is truly embarrassing as Moth tries to steal Killshot's super duper special dog tags, and they fight over them with Killshot pulling Moth's hair as Moth screams. But Moth escapes with them, and then they do one of those silly overplayed WWE standoffs, where one guy is in the ring and the other is standing on the entrance ramp, and the camera darts back and forth at their faces as the glower and flare nostrils and breathe spittle out of their mouths. Except the Temple is really small, so they're standing like 6 feet apart from each other. In WWE you at least have a guy way up on the stage, but here the ring entrance is just right next to the ring. So Killshot is glowering at Moth like "you got away this time!" but Moth is basically standing a quick jump away from him. Killshot just could of hopped out and tried to wrest his precious dog tags away some more. So...so so stupid.

ER: At any given hour of the day you can find 60 years of televised cop shows on TV, and I challenge you to find any sort of procedural that is as terrible as these LU cop segments. I mean this is a genre with literally thousands of hours to lift from, there's just no excuse for it being this bad. Cisco tries, and the bead of sweat running down his temple was a nice visual, but Ryan and Castro are just brutally bad. I still have no idea what tone they're going for, as they haven't succeeded in any sort of tone I can think of. Lynchpin for the End of Days? Is this going to evolve into Dario doing some sort of Pacino in Devil's Advocate type of spiel? That could work, actually...

2. Nunchucks Match: Jack Evans & PJ Black vs. Aerostar & Drago

ER: This had the feel of a jumbled mess for awhile, a sloppy tag with a silly stip. Aerostar looked clumsy, Jack Evans had to wait around ages for Aerostar/Drago to hit some unnecessarily complicated offense, just felt like a bit of a mess. Evans being a loon saved things for awhile, and everybody wiping out while Evans/Black went for the nunchucks the first time snapped me awake. But a couple minutes later, when Drago got a set of nunchucks, suddenly things got completely awesome. The visual of Drago whipping the nunchucks around was great, then he whips Evans in the face and does a flip dive onto everybody, Aerostar hits a huge crossbody off the office (filmed from behind so it looked like he launched 20 feet out), the sound sweetening actually made sense for once on the nunchuck shots, and Drago's finish was killer: Misting Evans for what felt like forever (where was he keeping all of that!?) then hitting his slick armdrag/roll up pin off the top for the win. This whole thing really went out on a high note.

3. Prince Puma, Rey Mysterio, Son of Havoc, The Mack, Texano Jr., & Sexy Star vs. Fenix, Ivelisse, King Cuerno, Taya, Johnny Mundo & Pentagon Jr.

ER:  Everybody's reaction to Pentagon's return was kinda strange. As he destroyed Chavo the rest of the match participants just kinda stood around in the ring giving knowing smiles. Were they supposed to be more in awe of a supposed quadriplegic returning, walking again, and wrecking Chavo? They all acted like they had no clue who this dude was, but were just admiring this guy laying a beating on Chavo. That oddness aside, this was a real fun match. If you give it the proper amount of time it's really hard to mess up a big multiman match. Sexy Star stuff was kept to a minimum, and she even got to hit a nice flip dive during the trainwreck sequence. Fenix was probably my favorite in this, this fed has really been an awakening for him. Mundo and Texano take a couple big bumps to the floor (love Mundo bumping in sunglasses), Taya takes a big bump past the ringpost and down the steps, the dive train was really great, Mack had several nice moments (he's really great in these kinds of matches), and yeah, this probably could have had 10 more minutes added to it and really gone for broke. Super fun match.

COMPLETE LUCHA UNDERGROUND EPISODE GUIDE

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 2 Episode 15: No Mas

ER: Man it's good to have Dario back in the Temple every week. His facials and little ticks when he talks to Catrina are so good. And he pronounced Matanza the same as "Ibiza". Mah-tahn-thuh.

1. Marty "The Moth" Martinez vs. The Mack

ER: Moth goes down pretty easy in this one, though he gets a couple big moves in (Mack is nuts for taking that exploder into the turnbuckles all vertical like that), but this was the Mack show. Big suplexes, great clothesline, one of the best spinning heel kicks you'll see, super fast flip dive. Glad they keep spotlighting Mack but I'd like to see him start to move up the card.

PAS: This was a fun 3 minute match, and I love watching The Mack, but I have no idea why you run this match if Mack was going to stop interference in the main event. We already saw The Mack get his revenge at the beginning of the show, why is it a big deal to see him beat on the guy some more 45 minutes later.

ER: Dario was really great broomsticking with Sexy Star. I mean if you're going to do a long Sexy Star vignette that's how you do it. Leave her to occasional one word answers and let Dario wander slowly around the office expounding on his plans to have Mariposa tortured.

PAS: This show is full of people carrying Sexy Star is she a make a wish kid or something. Is this the wrestling version of Batkid?

ER: Damn Phil Mencia didn't even wait until the body was cold to steal my Sexy Star-as-Batkid joke from earlier this season!

2. Sinestro de la Muerte vs. King Cuerno

ER: Boy they're really committed to this, huh? Not sure Cuerno is recoverable at this point. He's like the go-to guy to make look like a joke. Maybe the last remaining DoD member will be better outside of his group?

PAS: What a bummer, I guess this is why Cuerno wanted to leave. Sinestro didn't look any better in singles, one problem with taping this far in advance is they can't call audibles when stuff isn't working.

ER: There is a chance Sagrada can lift more than me.

3. Mascarita Sagrada vs. Cage

ER: Well, can't fault Famous B for getting Sagrada a chance at a medallion. This went as it should have. Sagrada gamely got tossed around, and I liked the crossface choke he locked on Cage after spinning all around him.

PAS: Feels like they were trying to get a GIF to go viral. Match made a fine GIF

4. No Mas: Mariposa vs. Sexy Star

ER: Well as I saw there was still 20 minutes left in the episode I'm sure I wasn't the only one not totally looking forward to a 20 minute Sexy Star match. This promotion can be really good with smoke and mirrors but Star has been immune to all of that so far. No matter how much they hack up her matches they still end up looking terrible. So I figured they couldn't have filmed an 80 minute match and hacked it down to 20, this had to have been a 20 minute match. And I really enjoyed it. We certainly had smoke and mirrors, but you need that kind of thing in these matches. Whatever was lacking in Star's strikes and general clunkiness was made up for by some clever uses of props, blood, an amusing tour of the Temple, and some satisfying run ins. Chair shots are one thing, but Star ups the ante by bashing Mariposa's vagina with a chair. This felt like the No Mas equivalent to a victim of sexual abuse exacting revenge. We not only get her bashing Mariposa's vagina with a chair, but several kicks as well. When in Rome. Star bleeds and Mariposa's mask ripping was really violent. The tour into the rafters was a fun way to stretch time as we get some fun dangling spots, Mariposa kicking a camera guy, and some fighting on ladders. The Moth/Mack interference was handled really well in both instances, as Moth halted a Sexy Star advantage, but Mack never gave the advantage back to her. He merely kept Moth away from her. She was still doing all of the work on her own, Mack was just giving her unfettered access to Mariposa. It would have been real easy for Mack to run in, stun Moth and then do something to Mariposa, but it was handled very smart. Early in the match the fans were shitty and chanting for Mariposa, which, no matter how limply the Star character has been portrayed, can only be seen as "trying to be cool". So the "FUCK YOU" into the mic was arguably Sexy Star's greatest moment in LU, as every single person in the Temple, even presumably the kewl kids chanting for Mariposa earlier, erupted and jumped out of their seats for Star at that moment. That's huge. This was all put together really well, and was far more satisfying and well done than I could have ever imagined. Now let's just move on.

PAS: I thought this whole storyline was super gross, your feminist hero was kidnapped and sexually abused and then she settles it in the wrestling ring. I guess this was their attempt at wrestling I Spit on Your Grave and they did a decent job covering up for Sexy Star's limitations. Crippled Vampiro is better then Sexy Star and that was a better match, but I was impressed at how well this was done. I thought the blood was a really great visual and the FUCK YOU was a great moment. Still Sexy Star really blows, Mariposa had to feed her arm for both cross armbreakers and neither of them looked good at all. Also it was a weird move to use to avenge rape, feels like a series of chairshots or a spike to the eye would have worked better.


LUCHA UNDERGROUND EPISODE GUIDE

Read more!