Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 16: Kill Mil

ER: Weekly reminder of just how awful every part of the Antonio Cueto character is.

TL: Oh man. So...you are a show that caters basically exclusively to hardcore fans. You then have MATT STRIKER READ A PREPARED STATEMENT to set up the main even that night? Over a highlight package? I mean...I never thought I'd say this, but Vampiro saying, "You say something? We got things to do!" after that was the best. Thank God for Vampiro. Praise Vampiro.

Jack Evans vs. Matanza

ER: This was pretty silly. I'm not sure what kind of character Evans is working, as he did a bunch of dialed to 10 mic work where he was just yelling annoying sounds and acting like a real goofball. Cool? Then he does a comical Mr. Furley stumbly run up the stairs only to run away from Matanza and get tripped by Antonio Cueto's cane. They're going for Looney Tunes vibes but also very serious Evans-will-leave-The-Temple-in-a-body-bag vibes and it doesn't really work. Evans vs. Matanza is a damn fun pairing, but this isn't that. This is Evans wide eyed running from Matanza, getting tossed a couple times, coming back briefly to hit a fantastic 630...only to see Matanza instantly shrug it off and hit the Tour of the Temple. This could have been a the best possible style clash, instead we had to pretend Jack Evans was suddenly a guy who couldn't wrestle very well.

TL: Jack Evans continues to be awesome on the mic, Antonio Cueto continues to be a terrible caricature in place of an actual good on-screen authority figure. Jack plays up the horror movie vibes better than most by knocking on the door to the entrance ramp only to be out of luck. Jack getting to run around a bit and be evasive only to eventually fall after a valiant effort is at least a good version of this match, but I would have liked a more competitive match between these two because it would have been good to watch. Evans rag dolling for peak Samoa Joe back in the ROH days was fantastic to see; him doing the same for Matanza would have ruled, too. Alas, all this for a cheap pop to hear Antonio warble about human sacrifice. I mean, literally seven months ago on WM weekend, a dude has his throat slit on stage during the absolutely terrible Blackcraft show. If you're gonna kill someone on a wrestling show, at least make it campy as fuck.

XO Lishus/Ivelisse/Joey Ryan vs. Jeremiah Snake/Daga/Kobra Moon

ER: This was rough in just about every way. Sloppy as hell, not a lot of build, just a mess of a match. Xo Lishus was probably the lone highlight; I love the snap he gets on things like armdrags, and really I just love the snap he puts on everything. Ivelisse has one of the more embarrassing hot tags of recent memory and later hits a slow motion cannonball off the apron. Daga even trips on the ropes getting into the ring. Striker calls Jeremiah Snake "this generation's most controversial athlete", which does sound much more intriguing than "some guy that a lot of people wish would just go away because they don't dig his fucking vibe" which is the reality. This was as skippable as it gets.

TL: Killer Kross as the White Rabbit is a good fit for the promotion; hope he calls out Big Dave in a knock off Tower of Doom match by season's end. The match itself was basically a mid-tier trios pairing with folks thinking up "creative" spots only for them to not land clean. XO probably looked the best in the match, Joey's shtick continues to be tired, Crane's descent to complete irrelevance continues. Daga with a weird Toryumon double arm-bar to finish. Kross and London stand idly by for the most part while Bunny gets the offense post-match, and I'm baffled again. This fed, folks.

Nunchuck Match: Aerostar/Drago vs. Jake Strong

ER: I'm a big fan of stupid stips matches, and a 2 on 1 handicap nunchucks match would certainly qualify as stupid, but Strong isn't a good enough stooge to make the nunchucks portion of this match interesting. We get the fun visual of actual nunchuck retrieval at the top of the Temple steps. At one point Aerostar and Drago pose as two children trying to sneak into an R rated movie wearing a very long trenchcoat, beating Jake with nunchucks. But Strong just kind of stands there and takes a dozen nunchuck shots, like he couldn't go anywhere. Every other time he took nunchuck shots he would just awkwardly bend over to take them, just poking his butt out. To put over a nunchuck shot you really need that scaled dog reaction, needs some hopping, some yelping, some fleeing; Ol' Jake Strong just behaved like he was in a very specific BDSM video. There were individual great moments, like Strong's vicious gutwrench powerbomb, or Aerostar's no hands springboard splash, but this didn't work as well as it could have.

TL: NUNCHUKS MATCH. I need Sleazy E out here in an exhibition at least. Jake Strong being treated as a top guy in AEW right now is still absolutely baffling to me (and he hasn't even wrestled a match!!!) but he's been at least a little bit entertaining taking on all the low-tier juniors, which should prepare him well for AEW. It's at least something that uses the gimmick well, even if the gimmick itself is terrible. The crowd chants "This is awesome!" for some reason, possibly the nadir of the chant, or maybe they're in on the joke. But let's point out what these guys did in their seven minutes: They had huge bumps, they laid shit in, and they went out there to maximize an absolutely limiting gimmick. I'm writing this match up as it happens, not after the fact, and this is actually becoming one of the great shitty gimmick matches LU has ever done. The finish was awesome stuff. They also 100% went early on the bone break sound effect. I am going to look back on this fondly as one of the great examples of everything both bad and good about LU: The gimmick is terrible, the entire setup is basically shit. But guys went out there and killed it, did everything they could to maximize what they were given, and somehow, someway, production values made it look not nearly as good as it could have. I can't think of a single 15-minute segment in any LU show that captures all that. Amazing stuff.

Mil Muertes vs. King Cuerno vs. Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: This didn't add up to a ton, made everyone except Pentagon feel super marginalized, which is a repeat trend for PPP. We also got some more Fenix coming out to assault Melissa Santos, which is great because then he will still wrestle the same way and get cheered for his cool spots, so what is actually the point of doing that kind of storyline? It does lead to our no close second greatest part of the match, when Dragon Azteca hits an incredible tope con giro over the ringpost, crashing both of them into the announce table. Awesome, awesome spot. I have to assume the rest of this was mangled by hasty editing, because the only other option was that it was mangled by foolish match layout: Cuerno hit his big tope into Pentagon and Muertes, except Pentagon was back up to the apron as quickly as Cuerno, only for both of them to be hit by a Muertes spear to knock them off the apron. So either Pentagon sold a Cuerno tope - treated like a major move for much of the series - by immediately leaping up to the apron, while Muertes sold it by running to the other side of the Temple to get in the ring for his spear...or the editing was so trash that it just made the wrestlers look like trash. Neither is a good look.

TL: Things I knew were going to happen before this match started: Muertes was gonna rule ass for a few minutes, Penta was definitely going to be on the outside in a 4-way match when you shouldn't have any downtime due to the fact everyone can at least face someone, Cuerno was gonna hit his tope, Dragon was gonna out-effort everyone. AND THEN HE DOES THAT CORNER DIVE. HOLY SHIT. It's weird to think a match like this is so methodically paced, but that's LU for you. Willie Mack coming back to cost Mil the match was a cool twist. And then of course Penta wins. Muertes taking the fall was surprising but I guess if they're pairing folks off, Mack/Muertes in a deathmatch should be fun, at least. Match was 100% a mean multi-man LU match. Like Eric said: Production here was really off again, selling was off all around. Again, I feel like there's just a lot of things that are supposedly creative but done in a way that doesn't play to anyone's strengths. It used to be the hallmark of this show but now it seems like that's all gone by the wayside. Really rough to see at this point. Azteca/Fenix has a chance to be good, Mack/Muertes could be a defining match for two guys I thoroughly enjoyed in this fed, and Penta somehow ending up the last LU champ will be fitting in a way because they really had nobody else to go to, it seems. Maybe they'll still surprise me. Who knows.



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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 14: Pet Cemetary

TL: Eric sent me this review literally five weeks ago and I haven't even begun to get to it. Between the holidays, a trip to New Orleans where I dressed up as a banana on New Years Eve and was the talk of Bourbon Street, a new job at a place I actually love working at, moving into a new place for the first time in almost a damn decade, and my waning love for a product I once fervently enjoyed, I held this up probably longer than I should have. I'll take the L on this one, as the kids say. However, I will say that I'm seeing this out to the bitter end. I will find the love where I can.

Ivelisse vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: I thought this was really great, probably my favorite LU match of the season, and that is an unexpected thing. It told such a fine story and was a really fantastic babyface performance from Ivelisse. It really had a great pull and in a fed that hasn't done a great job building to triumphant title victories, midway through this I was genuinely interested in rooting Ivelisse to victory. That's special whenever it happens. Ivelisse has been dealt kind of a bum wrap due to injuries. She's had two big injuries that happened right when she was getting big momentum and they cut her right off. After this performance I thought she would make a great choice for a Mae Young Classic deep run. Rachel was watching this with me and sometimes she pays attention, sometimes she doesn't (though she seems to pay attention the most during women's matches), but midway through this match she says, "Hey she's really good. I forgot we were watching a man vs. woman match." It's not that she's bridging the gap with power spots, but she's working like a fun Rey Mysterio underdog and her execution lands heavy enough that the weight difference is plausible. Her strikes look good, her headscissors and armdrags have good pull, and I like her crisscross stuff off the ropes. She has really expressive reactions and it was awesome to see this big babyface performance on TV without it getting into overly emotional Gargano territory. Azteca played his part well, he didn't work this as a heavy breathing try hard babyface, he worked subtle heel and he did it well. It would have been easy to chicken out and work face vs. face but he was kind of a dick, not hesitating to work snug with a lady, doing cool little things like whipping her arm into the mat. This was really good, and I really hope this is a star making moment for Ivelisse. The fans have been over the top for her since the beginning, and fuck it, let her get imbued with some kind of paranormal super powers and have her destroy Penta H in the series finale. It's all I want now.

TL: I like Azteca and feel like Ivelisse can be good in small doses, but reading Eric's first sentence made me take pause. I mean, he said himself it was unexpected, so that means I get to look at this in a totally different manner than he did. Totally expected, if you will. Vampiro putting Dragon Azteca "Between #1 and #2" on his Best in the World list is certainly a take, hope he puts in a #WDKW100 ballot. I do like Azteca basing for Ivelisse early, as her arm drags are actually really fluid and her lucha background is sound. The match itself is really basic, but well done. Azteca has good cutoffs, good snap on his offense, deep submissions, and it amplifies Ivelisse's offense. I'm starting to see why Eric enjoyed this match so much. That DDT off the ropes was nasty and Azteca took it on the dome. This is so much different than your normal LU match where folks are trying to get in ridiculous moves for two counts. These two are simplifying things and it's making the bigger moves mean that much more. Right on cue, Azteca doing the damn Pillman bump off the stair rail on his missed dive was disgusting. The stretch run from there is really fun, as Ivelisse expands on her fun offense and Azteca doing simple reversals gives it more impact. Yeah, that was a great match. I'd have to think a bit on whether it's the match of the season so far, but that match had absolutely no reason to be that good and it overdelivered. The improvement Ivelisse has shown after her injury riddled third season is noticeable. She can go. Really impressive showing here.

King Cuerno vs. Mil Muertes

ER: I thought this was money too, even if Cuerno has lost significant luster since season 1. It's a big boy battle that only goes a few minutes before ending in a DQ (a LU rarity), but we get a tremendous Mil performance and a super fun slugfest finish. Cuerno felt on Mil's level a few seasons ago, a guy who could be the potential top guy in the fed, and while that feeling isn't really there for me anymore he's still a guy who makes a fun match for Mil. Mil's big right hand might be my favorite thing in the fed, and I loved him crushing Cuerno with corner lariats before dropping him with that right. But the big fireworks in this one happen once they both spill to the floor, as they do nothing more than throw punch combinations at each other. Stand and Trade is such a fickle thing for me, as it's kinda like art: I know I like it when I like it. Here I liked it, just two dudes landing big rights to the jaw, real nice worked punches that would have played well even without sound sweetening, both mixing it up with occasional body shots, some cool close up magic from both. Marty Elias tries to get them back in the ring and gets violently shoved into the front row of fans for the DQ, Elias taking a great backwards bump into the fans. This all worked for me.

TL: I'm surprised this didn't get saved until Ultima Lucha, honestly, as it really could have been built to another big match between these two who are a great pairing. I always gush on Muertes' offense, but everything he does in this setting looks so crisp. His working punch is tremendous, and then he throws these standing mounted punches that look like crap when other folks try them but he makes look good. Also gets to hit his snap powerslam and his awesome chokeslam, so I'm sufficiently entertained. This is being worked with urgency, which it should be considering their history, and I dig it. The punches they trade back and forth are fantastic, and they are absolutely hauling off on each other. Whenever the camera misses a cut on a punch and you see the impact, you can see just how they thud. I mean, I don't know who told them to go out and work a goddamn Lawler/Dundee match, but God bless whoever did. Digging the Double DQ because you could buy them tossing Marty Elias aside, but I don't like them getting "rewarded" by getting into a match with Triple P. Maybe his laziness will make him want to stand aside and let these two haul off on each other? Because that's what I want.

Aerostar/Drago/Fenix vs. The Reptile Tribe

ER: This was mostly a rush job to serve as a backdrop for a pretty - on the surface - pointless rudo turn from Fenix. I thought the match was going along fine until the silly turn, with Drago putting in a nice showing (good to see after his brutal performance against Jake Strong), getting launched into a cool dive by Fenix and hitting this trippy assisted headscissors out of the corner. Jeremiah Snake (ugh) had nice snap on his lariats and bumped big for the fliers. Everything was going fine. Then Fenix turned on Aerostar and made really made grouchy faces, and shoved Melissa to the ground. I think the Melissa/Fenix videos were among the best of those kind of vignettes they've done. They were silly, but silly in the way that I wanted, and always sweet. That's important. A turn this late in the game makes no sense, and I can't imagine anyone who was excited when seeing it happen. We'll see where it goes I guess, but this show is in the home stretch at this point, why end something like this on a sour note?

TL: I can buy Jake Strong taking on three dudes after his recent Bellator win where he looked like a goddamn machine so I'm all in on him calling folks out like that. Dark Fenix being an obvious foreshadowing for his eventual teaming up with his brother is a choice. This is my contractually obligated sentence where I talk about how I miss Pindar. Daga started working Dragon Gate recently. He's no Adam Mayhem, but at least his offense has a bit more snap to it. Really odd to see this style of wrestling after a match featuring more traditional lucha and then an all-out brawl, so it's tough for me to get into it, but also, I like maybe, what, 2 people in this match? Fenix when he's on is damn good and I've seen Kobra work some great matches in tag teams in 2018. Dark Fenix's offensive outburst was tremendous and he's that much better than his brother's dark persona in all of 75 seconds. The heel control segments in this match just aren't engaging at all. Really think this should have been worked as more of a sprint. Aerostar hits a nice Silver King dive, Dragon hits that vaulted tornillo, and then Fenix does the turn given away by his black outfit. Because that means he's evil. I agree with Eric: Losing Fenix/Melissa is a huge blow for this series' production values and for love in general. Because getting the Lucha Bros. together in LU is more important than love, I guess. It's not at all. Not even a little bit.

TL: Okay, this is an honest question: Does Antonio Cueto know how to open a beer bottle? Was that a hammer he was using to open his Modelo? Dying to know where Marty got all that cash, too. I know he's got "aztec blood" in him, but who's the benefactor giving him all that cash?

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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 12: Til Death Do Us Part

ER: What a great return Joey Wrestling made to my television. Mercury shows up out of nowhere and Ricky Mundo immediately gets shunted down to ring bearer, complete with pie face and fart sound from Mercury. This is probably the hardest I've laughed at anything in LU's history. So this episode is already a major win.

TL: Seeing Eric’s review come over, I thought Joey Wrestling was some new not-cool Joey Ryan nickname, and then I realize it’s JOEY MERCURY, and now I need an MNM reunion. I don’t know if Eric has it in him for yet another Complete and Accurate, but MNM was one of the best tag teams nobody ever talks about and I feel like they would hold up incredibly well in a world where the Revival is considered a top tier tag team. Them vs. the Usos. New Day. The Bar. Damn. Let’s go! Also, anytime you get the Bill & Ted air guitar sound effect, you get a thumbs up from me.

ER: Loved MNM, but any MNM C&A will have to come after my Destruction Crew/Beverly Brothers C&A. That is not a joke.

Jake Strong vs. Drago

ER: This wasn't as good as the rest of the glut of short Strong/Hager matches we've gotten lately, didn't feel as stiff as the best of his MLW ones, and felt slower paced too. There was cool stuff, like a big rotating powerslam from Strong, and him catching Drago off a springboard and carrying him around the ring, working him into position for another powerslam only to eat a big DDT from Drago. The best moment was Drago taking a huge backdrop bump into one of the risers filled, fans vacated from their seats so he took a big crushing bump through the open wooden chairs. But Drago kinda got steamrolled here, and he didn't do himself any favors with his fairly weak looking strikes throughout.

TL: Wait, did Striker just call Drago “The Living Legend?” Seriously? Like, you didn’t want to think about that for a minute? This needed to have more snap to it. There was a kick where Drago didn’t even get enough air to whiff on it before the sound effect came in. I don’t get why Strong didn’t try to just end this quickly, and even Striker points it out. This seems like they were told to fill a certain amount of time and that was the best they could come up with. Okay, seriously, none of Drago’s shots are hitting here, making the sound effects come off as absolutely subpar. I agree about the spots themselves, but there wasn’t a thing between them that made me care. Really odd use six minutes.

Jack Evans vs. XO Lishus

ER: This is a No Mas match, for reasons, and outside of some dumb interference this was really fun, and more showcase for Lishus. We know what Evans brings, and it's good. He hits hard, stooges more athletically than anybody, hit a big crash landing balcony dive, big flying knee off the apron, and really put over Lishus. And Lishus more than held up his end of the spotlight. He bumps big including a couple boss bumps on the floor and into the ringside chairs, and he utilizes his sass and athleticism really well in matches. He flies really well and lands with a thud, has nice offense like his cool cartwheel double knee drop, dig his spin kicks, the whole thing works. The Joey Ryan/Ivelisse run in was pointless and added nothing, but these two were bright enough that it didn't matter.

TL: Now Jack is out here calling himself a legend and I feel like we just need to retire the use of the word at this point. Like how this started with XO going right after Jack, and then Jack gets in control and hits a totally nuts 450 off the apron. XO ends up on Striker’s lap. This is at least entertaining between the big spots, which really shows up after the previous match. Jack hits a nutso flip dive off a ladder, too, just to remind you he’s still capable of leaping off things from great heights even 15 years after that ridiculous dive off the top of the cage in ROH. XO’s LeBell Lock wasn’t that tight, and I laughed at Vampiro saying XO should have fish hooked. The trading of submissions down the stretch were fun, even if there was some sloppiness, as I had to like them going for stuff in an I Quit match. Joey Ryan then comes out to do his Omega/Kota Ibushi spot with Evans (watch the Ibushi/Styles IWGP title match for the reference), which leads to XO getting a submission with a cross-armbreaker. I probably wrote too many words for this match. You’re here for the content anyways.

TL: Awww, I wanted Jack to be in the wedding. At least we got another air guitar!

ER: The Wedding of the Century was fine. There were some funny lines, a couple funny deliveries, and naturally the wedding cake did not get eaten. But there was a lot of bad, with some majorly over-produced (over-mic'd? over-scripted? All of those?) Brenda just delivering bad, screechy material over everything (it's gotta be terrible as a performer to go out there with knowingly bad material), and a nonsensical ending that had Ricky Mundo unchain Matanza, and Matanza destroy everybody in the ring. But that's really silly as we already saw Matanza get beaten fairly easily by a chubby Vampiro mentee this season, so I'm unsure why half a dozen members of the Worldwide Underground (Cheerleader Melissa included) couldn't work him over with ease. But now that Matanza has beaten Cortez Castro and Vinny Massaro I guess he's an unstoppable monster again? Pretty lame.

TL: Love the lime green motif. Cool cake topper. Cheerleader Melissa up in this!!!! Alright, I’m all about it. Johnny not needing written vows because he went to the Titan acting classes is fantastic. I wasn’t expecting much here, but Dario ringing the bell only to deliver tacos instead of Matanza was a nice touch. Brenda was gratingly bad here. The Matanza run in was at least fun, Taya getting color was an interesting twist, but Matanza did seem like a plug and play thing here. This would have been the spot for a debut or something along those lines, but it getting back to Ricky letting Matanza out isn’t gonna lead to anything worthwhile until the two probably face off at Ultima Lucha. Even though I didn’t expect much, I also didn’t get much here, so it’s a wash. Predictable angle ends predictably.

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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 9: A Match Made in Heaven

ER: This may be an odd question...but was that actually Melissa playing Mariposa in the opening segment with Cueto? Her voice sounded completely different from how I remember her sounding (not merely the absence of her minor speech impediment, her voice just sounded different), and the mask covers enough that I actually have no idea.

TL: Was that…a competent set up for the main event? Like, did they actually lay out the consequences in a cogent manner for us to understand? Wild, man.

Mala Suerte vs. Matanza

ER: So now we've established bunny hop "boings" and speed bags SFX to our LU SFX canon. This was short but nobody died. Suerte hit a great baseball slide dropkick to start, Matanza hit a nice headbutt to cut off bunny hops and hit the Wrath of the Gods. But again, nobody died, which seems important to point out now.

TL: I literally cannot add anything to what Eric said about this match when those SFX were involved. Peak pro wrestling production, that.

Joey Ryan/Jack Evans vs. XO Lishus/Ivelisse

ER: I really liked this, especially as a showcase for Evans and Lishus. I wasn't excited for Joey opposite another woman, but I liked the turn into Joey being a full blown sex addict, just wanting any kind of touch and contact with any human (at minimum, any human). I think him being into getting slammed into XO Lishus' juicy hot ass and liking it is an important thing to happen. Sex addict is far more interesting than overt pervert. Lishus is a ton of fun, a great take on an exotico. The splits legdrop is good, and I also realized with his outfit, butt stuff, splits...he's basically cosplaying as Naomi. That feels like a level of exotico we haven't had in wrestling, an actual drag routine paying tribute to a fan favorite. The cartwheel slap is great with the character, and there was a hilarious moment with he and Evans, where Lishus ducked a clothesline and landed in a crabwalk, Evans overran him with the miss, ran back, but was chased into the corner with a quick burst of crabwalking from Lishus. Evans played it great, the timing was down, a genuinely funny and unique moment played perfectly. They went way too heavy on SFX for Ivelisse, she had a couple weak shots that came off comical with the loud thigh slap sound, but stuff like armdrags and ranas looked fine and she ate Ryan's offense well. Evans is still finding his place without WU, and I hope he's featured more from here now that he's away from WU. But he and Lishus owned here.

TL: I want to be a part of the conversations Joey has had with other folks to try and figure out how he could evolve his character. As Eric said, the climb from pervert to sex addict seems like the natural next step for him and who better to bring it out of him than Lishus, who has the athleticism that makes it look like he can hang with Jack F’n Evans step for step. Evans’ athleticism never ceases to amaze me; his springboard moves look out of control but also look like they kill folks. Yeah, the Lishus/Evans stuff was terrific, which led to the absolutely disgusting finish with the omoplata that really looked like a chokeout as opposed to all the other loosely applied MMA finishes you’d see in wrestling today. Stoked to see this get a longer feud, too. Ryan and Ivelisse were definitely in this match.

Mariposa vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: This was so short and really a nothing match. It was presented as an obstacle for Azteca but he didn't have too much trouble with Mariposa. It's a Lucha Underground update on an old early 90s Wrestling Challenge squash match. In one of those matches the enhancement talent would maybe get a dropkick or a couple elbows that get no sold. In a Lucha Underground squash match the enhancement talent still gets to break out a Kudo Driver moments after taking a huge 450 splash. The times they are a changin'.

TL: Love the foul to start the match during the belt presentation, love the kick to the inside of the thigh even more. Also love how in 2018, a 450 splash and a fucking KUDO DRIVER get 2.9s, but crossing the legs on a rolling prawn hold? Can’t get out of that, no siree. But hey, I’ve never wrestled before, so I don’t understand psychology, I guess.

The Reptile Tribe vs. Worldwide Underground

ER: So Striker says that Vibora is "striking in his absence" meaning nobody else knows about Vibora's death, but you'd think his absence would be focused on a lot more if that was the case. Instead they're just immediately cool with lizard Jeremiah Crane being the replacement. Also, could we have maybe done a little better than Jeremiah Snake? Here are a few off the top of my head with similar vocal patterns: Jereboa Crane, Jereviper Crane, Jereconda Crane. They aren't rhymes, but the syntax is the same as his original name and they roll off the tongue similarly. Or, they could have embraced their ridiculous side and further have their cake and eat it too, and he could have been Janaconda Cobrane. Also, I like that even in a rare 4 on 4 match, Ricky Mandel still isn't good enough to make the cut. I want them do have a 10 man tag to see if he has a shot at getting some playing time.

And I really liked this match. It was the right amount of fun and action, and really the fed should run more 8 man tags. I've gotten tired of their go to singles match style, but throw any 8 people from the roster in a ring and they should all have enough material to work a fun 10 minute match. You get less reliance on kickouts and more reliance on saves at that point, and a well timed save is more exciting to me than a big kickout. We get a ton of big dives, some complicated (like Kobra Moon getting launched into everyone by Jeremiah) and a couple impressive Aerostar ones, and a huge cannonball into everyone by Jeremiah. The pacing was kept brisk, and the whole thing was kept light which is a good thing because serious matches typically feature Striker reading a bunch of lousy copy about the Fates of Worlds and the Calamity of Man. The post-match worked for me too, even though the Macho Man stuff was all really obvious, I loved the Pomp and Circumstance playing while Mundo had Taya up on his shoulder. Taya's reaction to the proposal was good and as I've been wondering the past couple weeks this surely throws WU into full babyface, which isn't a bad twist. I somehow didn't notice the relevance of the episode title, which now seems like it should be saved for the inevitable wedding episode of LU, and I also somehow foolishly never considered a wedding episode for LU. We're well over 100 episodes at this point, and if we actually want to pretend that this is an actual TV series and not wrestling, then we're already into syndication and we're overdue for a wedding and a baby. We've already gotten to the point of the show where it's consistently going downhill from its peak, so now we need a couple of classic ratings poppers!

TL: The graphic leading into this match looks like it was made for an ECW TV main event in 1997, which is terrific. Big wet fart for the return of Crane as part of the Reptile Tribe. Don’t care enough to even make fun of the name. Aerostar wearing the bandana over his mask is as goofy looking as Klay Thompson wearing the bandana during his 14 3-pointer game last week, which means I love it. Vibora had been getting better so I’m a bit sad he’s not a part of this, because this seems like the type of match where he’d really stand out.

More wild atomicos match than I would have thought with this set up, as I figured there would be more pairing off than a whole bunch of dives, but they wanted a frenetic pace from the start. PJ Black’s hot tag that began with a bunch of first week training offense after the springboard was amusing. Nothing like armdrags and shoulder blocks to fire things up. The more I hear “Jeremiah Snake” the more I cringe. He also gets a lot of the match here, which is disappointing. Would have loved to see more Moon and Drago, especially considering Aerostar was brought in specifically because of his past with Drago. Instead, Drago gets to watch Aerostar hit his second ridiculous dive of the match and then take the fall. Postmatch was actually cool for the fakeout, Johnny being magnanimous, and the two-bit Savage aping. It was ELIZABETH who did the “Ooooohh yeah” part, man. C’mon. I’m not sure what wedding day shenanigans will occur to hold it up before it actually happens, but I’ve been entertained by WU skits to the point where I’d at least enjoy it. Can’t remember too many happy RobRod movie marriages, but maybe they’ll make an exception here.

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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 2: Darkness and the Monster

ER: When I told Tim I was done reviewing the 2nd episode of the season I believe his exact words were "Good lord you watched the 2nd episode!?" I never knew when to quit.

TL: Good lord, watching the recap of the season premiere just brought back some terrible memories, and then the video package literally finished with the following Matt Striker quote: “Destruction has torn through this virgin domain.” I don’t even want to know where he got the idea for that line, and I now feel more gross for having watched it. Must’ve blocked it out the first time he said it.

Catrina needs to get her lifeforce back, Cuerno doesn’t give a shit, and I just want to know what local Orange County Republican donor so graciously gave the production team access to his hunting lodge for this incredible piece of acting.

The Mack/Killshot/Son of Havoc vs. Big Bad Steve/Sammy Guevara/Jake Strong

ER: I was pretty surprised to see the big reaction for Jack Swagger. Is that a guy that people are excited to see in 2018? I mean we saw hundreds of Swagger matches. Did anybody think there was some untapped potential, something that we didn't see in those matches that can now be tapped, now that he's untethered by The Man? He certainly doesn't do anything here that makes me ache to see more. We've seen enough standing ankle locks, though Sammy Guevara certainly makes his postmatch falling lariat look fantastic. Mack had a lot of great moments here, bumping big to the floor, hitting a great Pounce as Guevara flew backwards off the top, and throwing several nice strikes at Strong while Strong stood there holding an ankle lock like a doof. Steve Pain is a guy who needs to be in this kind of match way more, instead he kind of hangs back and eats a stunner at the end. You know what kind of great base shit Steve can do, let me see Killshot and Havoc work off that more, not trade flips with Guevara.

TL: I can’t get over how Infamous Inc. gets introduced between Famous B’s bad Stokely impression and Brenda’s terrible screeches, but yeah, I was surprised with Strong’s pop, too. Considering what just happened at All In in regards to the “hip” wrestling fan’s views, just no longer being associated with WWE makes you that much better in their eyes, I guess. It’s also interesting to watch Killshot in this environment now considering he’s presented as a big deal both in MLW and EVOLVE, and especially after he ended Season 3, he’s almost just another guy here, and gets outshined by Guevara pretty heavily. Love that Big Bad Steve was here specifically to take the fall, like he was the guy under the Yellow Dog hood or something. Like most matches in LU, lot of guys not used correctly while one guy gets the shine. This was used as a vehicle to get Strong over, but he didn’t do much in a way that makes me want to see more of him.

Drago vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: This was fine, and was more than I'd enjoyed Drago in awhile. I thought a lot of his kicks looked good, liked his fast roll-up, took a big suplex bump off the bottom buckle, hit a slingblade that actually made it look like a move that would hurt someone (although it's odd he's still doing it in a fed where Pentagon is champ). Now, some of that MAY have been Azteca having no problem being flung onto the back of his head, but it looked good is what I'm getting at. Azteca is a guy who seems to relish getting dropped on his head, and he's often busy in matches, always thinking, always there with a spit take to sell a strike...and it's good, but I wonder if it wouldn't come off better if he were less busy? I think he needs to let things sink in a little, breathe a bit.

TL: Ah yes, the ol’ lucha mirror sequence standoff. Surprised it took this long in the season to get our first one, honestly. After that, I actually liked this more than I thought I would. One thing I hate about those mirror sequences is that they’re always just for show, but then the two big sequences after this were just as quick, but led to one guy getting the advantage instead of something more than an exhibition. I’m a huge fan of rollups off the top as finishers; thought it was awesome when Sin Cara would do it during his Lucha Dragons days. Agree that Azteca is better playing from underneath than 50/50, as his time across from Matanza was his best stuff. Guess the postmatch is to set up Kobra/Taya, which is a shrug emoji for me, but at least we got a good foul from Johnny on Drago.

ER: Catrina had a so-so wig in season 3, so I guess I shouldn't be too shocked by how outright bad Cueto's wig is, but....for all the money they spend on other things, you'd thing they'd have a respectable wig budget. A good wig is expensive, and it feels like something that an executive saw and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. "I'm fine shelling out money for Godfrey, but you expect us to pay HOW much to give this woman bangs?"

TL: I think the Cueto facial hair trips me out more than the Doc Brown wig, and I do love that he has that one weird eye. Wardrobe for this show is just so weird, which I guess is part of the appeal, but yeah, there were definitely some choices made in this vignette.

Pentagon Dark vs. Matanza

ER: This wasn't bad, but we got a comical overuse of the gunshot thigh slap effect on the majority of Pentagon's strikes, which really does a lot of them a disservice. If they were a bit more selective then they would mean more. Matanza really busted ass to make Pentagon look like a big deal. It's weird seeing Matanza work from behind most of the match considering he entered the fed as Zeus, but it was great seeing him fly hard into a bunch of chairs around ringside. I liked the gunshot sound effect when Pentagon chopped the ringpost, and liked the ping of Matanza's mask hitting the ringpost. Matanza's throws all looked predictably good, but Pentagon is so damn uninteresting the way he takes them and then just opts to go back on offense. The end run was good and a believable way to put down a monster, with a series of flipping piledrivers and a package piledriver, but Pentagon just isn't interesting to me at this point. Maybe saying Cero Miedo another dozen times per match will help? Real fine Matanza performance here, propping up a guy who seems a bit too preoccupied with being cool, instead of just being good.

TL: It’s really weird to see Matanza go from this unstoppable monster to just a dude with a weird mask and some great power offense, but I guess you can’t book a guy like that forever. Penta just outworked Kenny F’n Omega at All In, showing up the supposed Workrate King on his own damn produce show in his own house style, and there are WWE rumblings with him, so after a stinker of an Aztec Warfare, I’m stoked that he brought it here against Matanza. A lot of that is because you basically have to if you want to make it look like you took down Matanza in any believable way, but this was still another match that exceeded my expectations, and it was necessary to push Penta as The Guy in the promotion. I do agree this was more about Looking Cool than Beating Matanza, but it’s better than the alternative that we’ve seen from Penta time and time again.

TL: Jeremiah Crane being a horn dog for Catrina is a bit too on the nose for me but he got his ass righteously whooped in the last Grave Consequences match he was a part of so I’m ready for that, at least.


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 39 Ultima Lucha Tres Part 3

1. Last Luchadora Standing: Taya vs. Sexy Star

ER: So this worked better than it should have, and was probably Sexy Star's best actual performance. I think I've said in several other matches something along the lines of "This was probably the best possible match that _____ could have had with Sexy Star", and while I can't say she was actually good in it, for the most part, this felt like her best actual performance. All Sexy Star matches will always have that feeling of minding a toddler while he waddles around a playground: You're omnipresent and next to them at all times, but they don't really take your suggestions on what to do, and sometimes they'll stare at things overly long, and then they'll point and shout something unintelligible at something, and then they'll need help climbing steps, and they'll grab things that don't belong to them, and you don't really feel like you're needed there but need to be there constantly trying to catch them if they fall. Sexy Star kind of toddles around the Temple, and Taya follows her around, throwing herself through chairs and into grating and into tables and bleeding. For her part of things, Star slaps Taya with authority, lands a couple stomach kicks, and throws shots to the back of Taya's neck that actually look painful. They fall into a lot of things, chairs, the bleacher seats, a table, and it almost always looks good. I don't want to see Sexy Star wrestling anymore, but I appreciated that she tightened a couple things up in what should be her last LU match (unless season 4 is already planning on being the Season of Sexy!).

TL: Take a drink every time Striker says “war.” Seriously, it’s amazing. I remember saying it maybe a time or two too many during a recent PPW main event, but he’s in love with the word. Taya got one of my favorite Jeremiah Crane performances out of him in the Cueto Cup and so I am all in on her actually making a Sexy Star match good with her bumping and stooging. Taya even blades, which I am not surprised at in the least. God, hindsight is amazing here with Striker saying Sexy fights for what’s just and ethical. My favorite part about Eric’s toddler analogy is when I look up and see Sexy literally crawling around the ring as if she can’t find her favorite pacifier. They really do lay it in, at least, with the chops looking good even if the sound effects oversell their effectiveness. Sexy does lead Taya around by the nose everywhere; it’s amazing how much Taya is chasing her in this match. The garbage spots do look good, even if there’s a few times where things got telegraphed, but Taya really had a great performance here again. Now make sure there’s no more Sexy Star in Season 4. After the bullshit she pulled last year, she doesn’t deserve to be back, let alone get a push similar to what she got in Season 3.

2. Pindar/Vibora/Drago vs. The Mack/Killshot/Dante Fox

ER: I like this, very edgy subversive stuff here, an impressive Black Lives Matter allegory having every black member of the roster trying to save their America by waging global war against the Deep State Lizard People. It's some pretty revolutionary stuff here on hour 3 of Ultima Lucha Tres. And you know what? I really liked this as a title win for Mack/Killshot/Fox. The Lizard People have been really disappointing as champions, feels like they shouldn't need belts. But Mack's team winning felt like a great tecnico moment, and there aren't a ton of great tecnico moments in this fed that aren't immediately made bittersweet. I don't really know if the match was good, but it felt like a couple doors shutting that had been open for way too long. The Lizards haven't felt as big as they probably anticipated, so it's a good time to dial them back a bit, and the Fox/Killshot feud went on too long and I'd rather see their style as a team than as opponents. Mack came off - again - like a major star in the match, and they really messed up by not shoving him high up the card way quicker. It may get there eventually, but Mack is a guy they could make face of the company, and should. Although I can't believe that the cameras switched away and miss most of Vibora's bump off the Pounce. I don't think I've ever even seen Luchasaurus take a bump, so Mack making him fly off his feet feels like it should have been a big deal. Striker takes forever wrapping up a bootlace-as-secret-code story to just say that Fox and Killshot are working nicely together. I also really liked Pindar in this, he's been a great add to the roster, and I'd love for him to be repackaged. He is an awesome base, gets to show a little bit of personal lizard pride by refusing Kobra Moon's demand that he use a chain, and he's one of the few guys to opt to do a moonsault to sell a Stunner. Has anyone done a moonsault stunner bump? Rock would infamously handspring his way across the ring, but I don't know if I've seen a moonsault bump from it. Dante Fox's back still looks completely disgusting (his death match was filmed the day before!), and him doing a major flip dive over the buckles and just skidding on his back was gruesome. There was flayed skin hanging off. The match was okay, decent energy, but the actual moments and implications were the best.

TL: It wouldn’t be a professional wrestling match if all the available black guys in the fed didn’t wrestle in the same match together. Legit surprised Famous B didn’t come out with them. I’m all about the first few minutes of this match, where Fox and Killshot try their usual stuff but their injuries catch up and it becomes what I wanted most in this match: A Pindar showcase! He has a great little run here during the Lizard control segment, and then when Mack gets the hot tag and the tecnicos figure it out, it gets good. That shot of Fox’s back was absolutely disgusting. Pindar taking the fall was bleh because he looked the best in the match on the Lizard side, but he also made the finishing run look good. And yeah, it’s nice to see tecnicos do something cool without consequence. This was definitely a match where the moments were more important than the sum of its parts, but there was a good layout and everyone was used well. Surprised Drago didn’t get much of a showcase here. Fox is an insane person for going out there and doing his usual stuff with his back like that basically 24 hours after that match. Killshot was at least smart enough to take flip bumps onto his stomach most of the time.

3. Ladder Match: Son of Havoc vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: This isn't very good, and has some absolutely brutal prop set up. The only interesting moment of prop set up is when Pentagon starts throwing a bunch of ladders into the ring and Striker brings up the Public Enemy match. Vampiro compares this moment to when he was in FMW with Terry Funk, and I genuinely don't think that Funk and Vampiro were ever around each other before WCW. I don't think Vampiro ever wrestled in FMW, and I don't think Funk ever wrestled in WAR, really don't think they would have ever been on tour with a company together, before WCW. But then again he has already stated that he got to see Misawa/Kawada matches while on tour with All Japan and...that never happened. The match reaches peak crazy when Pentagon delivers a package piledriver through opened chairs. It didn't lead to a finish. Pentagon proceeds to slowly set up several ladders, and it's completely interminable because the whole time you knew it wasn't going to lead to anything nearly as cool as Crazy Crusher vs. Hell Storm. And for a guy who is I guess spreading the devil's message of violence, Pentagon never actually feels very comfortable setting up all these ladders and tables. It leads to this silly moment where there is a ladder resting on the middle rope and within the rungs of an opened ladder, and he and Havoc are brawling slowly on it because it's rickety and they don't want to fall...but it's like 2 1/2 feet off the mat. This is no Bill Dundee hanging off a scaffold, this is more a red panda hanging off a low branch, and he's trying to recover, but he's just got his panda strength to work with, and eventually he falls...but it's like a 1 foot drop. This didn't work for me.

TL: Dark is gonna have to show me something here because after so much time giving him the benefit of the doubt and saying he’d bring it in a big match, this is the type of situation where he needs to show up. Vampiro bringing up tours of Japan he never went on goes into the JBL Honorary Hall of Fame right alongside “Riki Tenryu” and his drugged showdown with an inflated dinosaur he calls Godzilla during a WWE tour of Japan. Also, not a single ladder hit Havoc when Dark threw them in there, so that wasn’t even close to the Funk ECW chair stuff. Striker also makes an Art Vandelay joke. With as much as I’m talking about commentary, it should tell you what I think of this match. It’s literally setup spot after setup spot. Something happens, weak transition spot (they tried the Randy Orton/Evan Bourne RKO spot and it didn’t look good at all), guy sets something up. Rinse and repeat. Dark literally wrestles as if he’s not getting paid enough for this shit, and since I’m not getting paid at all for it, I’ll care just as much. For a match between two ultraviolent characters where one of them came up as a real-life backyarder, this was as anti-violent and plodding as anything you’d see on this show, but set up much like you'd imagine a backyard ladder match would be. You saw how the first night ended. You saw how the second night ended. I understand if the feeling was that they couldn’t top any of that, but at least go out and try. It’s the blowoff show. Literally no reason to hold anything back here. This was a hastily put together match but could have been much better than it had any right to be. As far as Dark is concerned, I’m out on him.

TL: Man alive, are they telegraphing what’s gonna happen to Puma here. I mean, if you read this site, pretty sure you are up to speed on current pro wrestling news, so it’s no secret what’s going to happen to Puma. If I was watching this when it aired not knowing what was going to happen, it wouldn’t have made me change my mind on Vampiro obviously looking to screw over Puma. It’s another part of this that I had watched previously in highlight form so I’m foggy on specifics, but we’ll see if my feelings change watching the finale.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 36: The Rise of the Ring Announcer

ER: I really liked the opening Melissa Santos/Fenix segment, a lot. It came off like an updated take on Girlfight or something. The prior romantic scenes between Fenix/Santos came off silly, this came off downright steamy, like the George Clooney/Jennifer Lopez scenes in Out of Sight, or the Timothee Chalamet/Armie Hammer scenes in Call Me By Your Name. I thought their body language was really strong, loved the interplay of submissions, loved the sparring and grappling as metaphor for relationship dynamics, that gentle hair flop onto Fenix's face, thought all of it worked tremendously well. Now, if you think of it out of a vacuum it gets weirder, as you realize that Melissa Santos is going to be in the ring wrestling for the first time ever and they only announced it at the beginning of the episode where that was happening, and then you start thinking "Wait these two are locking in these tight go behinds and she's letting her hair seductively flop all over Fenix's face and...she hasn't even seen his face? This all seemed pretty intimate. It feels like they've been hanging out. And this whole time, during meals, during dates, during post training showers...Fenix has not removed that mask? How terrible must that mask smell?? Santos has let herself grow dangerously, emotionally close to a man who may have a Monster energy tattoo on his forehead for all she knows. But that's what thinking gets you. Follow your heart. The segment was good.

TL: I can’t even begin to top what Eric just said so my only addition to this, whether it was good editing or camera cuts or what have you, is that Santos looked like she could go!!! I all of a sudden am into whatever that tag match is gonna be. This was one of the best examples of female empowerment the show has ever portrayed because this was natural as opposed to shoved down our throats like Sexy Star was. Santos came off as a big deal with this, which is what wrestling promos are supposed to do!

Dante Fox vs. Texano

ER: I liked this more than I expected, and it's true that Fox is typically more interesting when he's against more of a power base than another athletic flipper. Texano can get really lazy during routine moments, looking like a somnambulist going through simple sequences like a lazy clothesline/back elbow sequence, but he excels here at making Fox look strong. When a guy throws a lazy clothesline you wouldn't expect him to throw himself into a crucifix bomb, and Texano is good at working around fast Fox sequences, like all of the stuff on the apron that eventually lead to the run-up-ringpost moonsault. The match was a good Worldwide length of 5-6 minutes, and even though it got too move trade-y down the stretch I was pleasantly surprised overall. Famous B botches (in storyline) the ending and calls Texano the winner, so Dario sets up B vs. Texano for next week. B says his arm is still broke from Pentagon and Dario FINALLY gets a classic Dario line in (feels like it's been WAY too long) when he says "Well then it looks like it will be a...handicap match!" Pure gold. Dario hasn't felt fully "Dario" this season, and comes off really ineffective and less the all powerful manipulator. That line was needed.

TL: Striker makes a “Clerks” joke (“I’m not even supposed to be here today”) because of Dante and not only does it make me feel old but reminds me that Kevin Smith almost died mere days ago. I thought this was alright, but not a standout or anything. Fox doing a faceplant on an enzuigiri was amusing and then became even moreso when he just went back on offense after taking a bump that looked like it would have killed him. I’ve talked about how Texano has basically looked disinterested ever since when he first came to LU with Alberto Del Rio and was used to put him over not only in LU, but in AAA, so this really does feel like he’s collecting a paycheck at this point. Agree with the line usage, but in Dario’s defense, he was in jail, man. He’s seen some shit. Just not the same guy anymore.

Marty "The Moth" Martinez/Mariposa vs. Fenix/Melissa Santos

ER: Still really surprised that this match wasn't announced at all in advance. Do they advertise? Maybe they advertise and this was announced. It feels like a pretty big match within the LU universe. And it was really fun, although after all the wins and big moments they gave to Sexy Star it's ridiculous that they can't give Santos a good moment. Moth has been licking and rubbing on her for a couple seasons now, and while she's a non-wrestler that never stopped Sexy Star from wrestling. Give her a fucking pinfall, who are we protecting here? Anyway Fenix works a nice match against the two, including hitting an actual good looking Lethal Injection and hitting a wild twisting dive to the floor. Santos getting into the match was a great moment, with Moth running into a perfectly timed high kick from the apron and the gets Irish whipped into elbow smashing Mariposa. The tandem offense didn't look great but the moment was still good.

TL: This WAS announced in advance, but Eric, much like me when I’m trying to burn through reviews, most likely fast-forwarded past the 20-second mention of it from a couple weeks ago by Striker and Vampiro. So…what I’m trying to say is that Eric made the right decision in skipping past how this match got announced in the first place. Striker says Fenix has a “legendary mask” like he’s Atlantis or something. Mariposa is so sudden with her offense, it’s amazing to think she’s been doing this for two decades. One thing in addition to Melissa doing the job in this match: There’s now absolutely no doubt that Marty is gonna lose. Had Melissa gotten a pin on Mariposa, at least you could have seen a more level playing field. Melissa’s offensive moments were definitely cool, but the way this ended was a bit too much.

ER: We get a rundown of the epic card for the 4 episode (!) Ultima Lucha extravaganza, which should make for plenty of fun. Although how absolutely ridiculous does Ivelisse vs. Catrina look at this point?? The last Ivelisse match aired 6 months before this episode, and Catrina has never wrestled in the fed. Does anyone watching even remember why they made that match?

TL: It’s a huge card, but to be honest, I’m really only looking forward to the main event, the cage match, and the Fox/Killshot match. There’s gonna be a lot of filler for me to get into.

Paul London vs. Mala Suerte vs. Saltador vs. Cortez Castro vs. Drago vs. Son of Havoc vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: This was a pretty cracking spotfest, one of the best Drago performances in awhile, a continuation of Paul London as an extremely relevant wrestler after a few years in the woods, some great Saltdaor stuff, just a ton of fun. Drago was the centerpiece of this whole thing, either tying things together and finding things to occupy time. I loved him sprinting across the ring after London leading to London doing his bananas springboard tope en reversa to the floor. he easily could have just stood there doing nothing since London was going to do the spot anyway, this made things feel more immediate. Saltador got some nice moments and I especially loved him getting backdropped into London (who was slumped in the corner). We got a couple big dives, everybody moved in and out of it smoothly, a couple nice saves, just a fun spotfest. We do get a dumbo ending with Havoc and Pentagon getting simultaneous pinfalls, but Dario comes out to announce a ladder match between the two, which is fine.

TL: I like that this match was basically laid out like an atomicos or a cibenertico, as it never really let up and gave everyone some shine. If you’re gonna do a damn seven way, you might as well take advantage and sprint. And yeah, they sprint, big time. London looks great in this match, like a true Droog. I wish he would talk shit in Cockney gibberish slang between moves. But my guy in this match? Saltador. All his offense looked crisp as all hell. He had this great springboard legdrop that looked snug when it landed and he had a great dive. Also looked great taking down Pentagon to start. I don’t like the ending either, a true bait and switch bullshit ending, but we got to see Dario yell “LADDER MATCH!” in a way that made me smile. He must have known tapings were winding down, man. He went for it in this episode.

ER: I love all the backseat of a limo scenes with Dario, and they're only better with Godfrey. I don't know who they can get to be the cigar smoking boss, but considering the programming on El Rey can we PLEASE make it Fred Williamson? We all know everyone in power is a rich old white man, so LU needs to flip the script and present us a rich old black man as the one in charge. If it's Fred Williamson I will happily go back and watch every second of every single Sexy Star moment, and not complain.

TL: Fred Williamson is awesome, but considering he’s done voiceovers for WWE highlight packages before, I’d look at the budget and just not pull ANY punches: KEITH. DAVID. MAKE IT HAPPEN, CHAVO. I NEED Keith on this show, man. Also, I love how in the span of two mintues, Dario adds two more matches I’m actually fine with for Ultima Lucha in the three-way and the ladder match. He might be getting it back just in time for the biggest show of the year, baby.


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 34: Career Opportunities

ER: Slapbak is pretty much the house band at this point. Vampiro is trying to bang the girl in Slapbak, isn't he. Future Lucha Underground champion: Girl from Slapbak.

TL: Slapbak is no Tsunami Bomb, man. I’m all about Lucha Underground champion Emily Whitehurst, man. And then have Kristin McRory, mega-babyface, come after her for the belt. She can even be Agent M! This concludes our Petaluma, CA Phoenix Theater-based punk rock references for this review.

Drago vs. The Mack

ER: I thought Mack was really great in this. His armdrags and rollthroughs were really impressive, his throws look great, his demeanor is impressive. This is probably a really obvious observation, but this match just really opened my eyes to how underutilized Mack has been in LU. I know we've seen him used in higher profile spots, but we've mainly seen him as Sexy Star's best bud, and playing second fiddle to Sexy Star is just way below his level. The way he carried himself in this match made him feel bigger than most guys in the fed. I thought the ending was about as weak as you can get, though, with Drago hitting a dashed off kick combo and winning with his sloppiest ever rolling crucifix.

TL: A Mack showcase match that ends with seriously weak shenanigans to end the match leaves a sour taste in my mouth, no matter if he gets his heat back in the end. It’s obvious that he has basically found his niche as he has a true confidence to him that he didn’t have before. I have absolutely no idea how he hasn’t gotten any other ways to shine since the Johnny Mundo feud, and that’s one of the issues with such heavily pre-produced TV. You can’t really change things up midseason like that. Too bad. It’s almost like they have to wait until Season 4 to do something with him, and there, it might be too late.

Five-O Street Fight: Joey Ryan vs. Cortez Castro

ER: I'm already unexcited about this match, and almost immediately Striker has to turn it into a political statement, just wanting to make sure those boys in blue know that "some of us" really appreciate what they do for us. What a piece of shit. Vomiting all over a show with shoehorned references and blatantly overscripted jokes is one level of dogshit, but outing yourself as an All Lives Matter asshole is an even deeper ditch. I will just mute Striker for the rest of this. On mute these two do a pretty great job with a pretty goofy concept. I mean the idea that Dario just lets Castro still wrestle after finding out he is a cop trying to bring him down is just ridiculous. Dario has had far lesser people murdered just for not winning a wrestling match. But they make a body cavity spot more amusing than I would have thought, Joey breaks a riot shield with his head, Castro misses a crossbody and crashes through a riot squad guy, they do a well done missed sledgehammer shot into a cop car, Joey gets hot coffee dumped down his trunks, Castro smartly uses a riot shield to give him stronger shoulderblocks (I mean that really is a smart spot), a bunch of not-overly-clever moments. I actually think this was the best of the non-Muertes props fights in the series history, and I was NOT expecting that on paper.

TL: Cortez Castro being billed as from “The Streets” is laughably bad. Then Striker says his piece on respecting the police and I really want to reach through the TV and slap the taste out of his mouth. As the only one who watched this match with audio working, I can only add that the racial undertones of a Latino/Caucasian matchup surrounded by “police” on the outside was alluded to on commentary, and I’m ready to fast forward. Screw a mute. Vampiro asks Matt what he’d do in this match and I almost expect him to say, “Ask a cop to help.” Oh, wait. THEY HAVE SIRENS ON TOP OF THE RINGPOSTS. I’M LOSING IT. The setting for this match is such a damper on the match itself that it’s hard to really review it. Then Striker says he wishes folks would fight more in person than on Twitter and I’m out on this. Thankfully, we’re coming to the end of this one, and the match starts being louder than Striker on commentary. Lot of simple stuff looking really good. WHY DOES THE RAT COP WIN???? This was sure something else. I don’t know if I enjoyed it as much as Eric did on mute, which means I’m making terrible life choices.

The Rabbit Tribe vs. Matanza

ER: I would really love a London/Matanza singles match given 10-12 minutes. This was more messy than that made up match would have been, but that's to be expected in a 3 on 1 match where 3 of the people are on LSD. Cobb isn't really a bulldozer in the same way Andre was, so I don't think 3 on 1 is a situation that plays to his monster strengths. 1 on 1 throwing a guy around looks much cooler. He's already a shorter guy (though obviously stocky as hell) so 3 on 1 tends to dwarf him. I did really like the Tribe's rabid rapid rabbit dropkicks in the corner, just all running in on top of each other throwing dropkick after dropkick. It looked like a video of a bunch of bunnies just jumping all over each other in a pen. Still, I wish they gave London more of a platform to shine. After his quality big bumping miracle work in the year and a half long Cueto Cup, I think he's someone who could really shine when motivated. Give him goof off leash, and he'll take it and run. Treat him like an actual guy and he may still work big.

TL: Some cute stuff, but nothing overly great. I think it would have been cool to see this like a gauntlet like the Lotus stuff earlier in the season, but this should have had way more Matanza crazy power stuff to it. Instead, it was oddly more of a Rabbit Tribe showcase. If Festus can get off the craziness and go straight edge, Paul London can, too. Okay, maybe I wasn’t done making Phoenix Theater-related references in this review.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 28: Booyaka! Booyaka!

TL: Sooooooo, the house band has a wrestling song that chants “THIS IS AWESOME!” throughout it and, well, I’m really at a loss for words.

1. The Mack vs. Texano

ER: My god the Texano experiment will never end. I think he might be my least favorite non-Sexy Star featured player in LU. He has so many featured matches! And he's really bad now! Also, according to Vampiro, he's gotta be at least 290. Which means I guess Willie Mack is around 375? Vampiro is using his magic scale again, probably the one given to him personally by Misawa after another one of their successful tours together. I really liked Mack here, but hated their mirror sequence stuff just because Texano is so slow. Texano hits a feather light crossbody that looked like he was trying to avoid making contact with Mack. I'm sure somebody has been actually keeping track of this, but it feels like Texano has had as many matches in LU as anyone. That's crazy.

TL: Hey! A standoff at the beginning the of the match! Never seen that before. That needs to be absolutely shelved, along with tower of doom spots and Malenko/Guerrero rollup spots. I would add fighting spirit spots, but that would put probably 90% of pro wrestlers out of work today. Vampiro having trouble saying “Quebradora” is something else, too. My favorite thing five minutes into this match is, without a doubt, The Mack’s swinging body slam. Texano advancing after what the Mack did with Mundo is really a puzzling decision considering how over he got, but hey, what do I know? Texano has obviously not been that motivated since the Alberto El Patron stuff now that he’s being lost in the shuffle in AAA, so him dogging it on LU is not a surprise. Really a blah match.

TL: Good lord, we have a Havoc/Madness standoff that’s not nearly as good as any Sons of Anarchy standoff, and that was the trashiest of Golden Age TV shows outside of maybe Season 2? Ireland is Season 3 right? Yeah. Season 2.

I also just watched a bunch of crazy Paul London PWG promos that came up on my YouTube recommended (HYBRID DOLPHINS, BABY!), so him opening up a giant box only to find a rabbit’s foot is pretty good, as is playing checkers on Saltador.

2. Drago vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: Plenty of fun, even though I really can't begin to fathom a millennia old lizard man trading flippy reversals with a purveyor of the dark arts. Shouldn't they be doing more world bending things than steadying each other on the ropes so one of them can do a kewl move? But, at least the moves were cool. Drago flies nuttily to the floor, and Pentagon brings his vicious side back with a nasty dropkick in the ropes, his far more plausible take on the one winged angel (dropping the electric chair start point makes it so much better), and planting him with a package piledriver for the win. Pentagon also dumped himself on his head at one point while Drago sort of did a blockbuster. Drago has been diminishing returns for awhile now, but Pentagon can still be interesting with the right guy. And I liked the post match feelings, with Pentagon attempting to break Drago's arm, Aerostar saving his friend, Drago laying him out and Aerostar getting his arm broke. Relationships are complicated. Sometimes it's difficult to tell why a friend or loved one is upset with you, or why they seemingly joined a lizard gang against their will. Closure is important for all parties.

TL: ANOTHER STANDOFF! You have to be kidding me. Who’s laying this show out? I do like Pentagon being more of a jerk to Drago here, making Drago do too much and making mistakes because of it. This is fine, but Pentagon was definitely breezing through this one. I didn’t feel too much with this match, mainly because there wasn’t much of a story being told outside of Drago not really being in Pentagon’s league. Poor Aerostar. You’d think him being able to travel through time and space would have made him see that one coming.

3. PJ Black vs. Rey Mysterio

ER: I thought this was really great, Mysterio's best showing since the loser leaves lucha match, and maybe PJ's best showing ever. Black worked as a kind of 80% AJ Styles and Mysterio is somehow ageless despite having no knees a decade ago. Rey has no problem flying to the floor early, and I thought Black's timing was really good throughout, loved the superkick to counter the 619, and I love that torture rack type drop he gave Rey. They manage to make some typically dance-y spots look real smooth, including one of the only examples I can think of rolling through a top rope rana actually making sense. I've seen that used many times, and it's always terrible, always a guy taking a full back bump and then just rolling through the move anyway. It always looks stupid. And then, these two go and Black smoothly rolls through it, timing it perfectly and not absorbing any impact of the rana, actually doing the reversal properly where everybody else has failed. The ref bump even worked from a logic standpoint, as Black went for a powerbomb and Rey quickly reversed it into a wild tornado DDT, clonking the ref during the tornado portion. It worked because it was done so quickly that the reversal actually seemed like a surprise, so it makes sense that the ref wouldn't be expected to suddenly have legs being swung into the side of his head. The interference was over the top, but at least Mundo made it count and booted Rey right between the eyes to break up the pin. Eventually though, Black reveals that he's never watched a Rey Mysterio match before in his life, as he tries to give him a crucifix bomb. He does not successfully hit that crucifix bomb. I thought this whole thing was really good.

TL: You’ll never guess what this match starts off with. Unreal. I always love La Atlantida, and PJ doing the Atlantida drop was fine even if he couldn’t get it locked in the first time. Rey Mysterio, 30 or so years in, is still such a ridiculous bumper it makes me laugh. Eats a great Black superkick as Eric mentioned, as Rey is the best wrestlers ever at picking his spots in a match, and it always makes his opponents look good because of it, giving credence to their offense. I have nothing to add about the finish. Easily thought it was best match of the episode, and even Rey playing through his greatest hits works well, as it definitely did here. Like Rey more as a phoenix allegory than a Jesus allegory but they already have Fenix, so I’ll believe Rey as Jesus.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 22: The Cup Begins

TL: Would have really enjoyed a leadup episode of Bracketology into the Cueto Cup, where you could have brought on upstarts and underdogs and gave them some screen time. Get Vinnie Massaro to talk about how Sicily needs a big win and show off his favorite pizza recipes. Maybe have King Cuerno show off a trophy buck from his latest hunting excursion. Show Sexy Star training on how not to injure someone legit doing a cross-armbreaker. I would have gladly watched 45 minutes of that.

Instead, it’s probably the biggest brand made star in the company doing a walk on-screen return instead of being in the ring, flexing his healed arm and slinging catchphrases. Really odd way to bring Pentagon Dark back, especially given he’s basically one of a handful of folks who actually should have the title in the company at this point.

TL: Should also be mentioned that Vampiro is dressed like he just got done playing 18 holes at his retirement community’s muni course, complete with horizontal striped polo and horn-rimmed glasses. Now I need to go watch “Mr. Hole-In-One” Barry Darsow on some WCW syndicated TV.

1. Mala Suerte vs. The Mack

ER: This felt like a chubby version of a Nitro era lucha match, and that's a fine thing to be. And that's a good thing, I was in the mood for that kind of popcorn match, and the first round of a pretty silly tournament for an even sillier cup seems like the best place for it. I liked the opening armdrag exchanges, they felt like older exchanges you don't see a lot anymore, Cholo rolling off Mack's back, doing the drags low and quick. Mack is obviously going to be a guy advancing in the cup, so the finish was never in doubt, but considering that they threw out a couple more nearfalls than I expected. Suerte's senton is really over in the building (the one where he jumps off the top and runs across the ring to land it) and if you're going to have silly signature offense I'd rather watch a nice senton than the worm. Mack busts out some nice stuff, especially crazy is him catching Suerte and lifting him all up and around his body before hitting a driver. That's some Cobb strength right there, and Suerte isn't a small dude.

TL: I’m with Eric. I’m definitely here for portly lucha armdrag sequences. I am DEFINITELY not here for Matt Striker saying “Shades of Tenryu!” though. Suerte’s offense is really great, and I was half expecting that senton to be that splash that one Dragon Gate guy does where he leaps off the top rope, lands on his feet, and then leaps again to finish the splash, but this works, too. I’m also a big fan of a Crucifix Driver, as it looks absolutely devastating when thrown correctly. Still think it’s odd that with an offensive repetoire like Mack’s that he finishes with a stunner, but credit Cholo for bumping big on the offense, at least. Glad he got some offense in, too. Definitely fits in on the lucha Nitro matches, would be a fine WCW Pro main event, as well.

ER: I'm a big fan of cartoon CGI lightning, so Cage's lightning infused power glove gets the full point from me. I want him to punch through somebody's body with it.

TL: Think it’s awesome that Dario has a Glove Guy, and now that I’ve seen the lightning in action, they really should have gone full Infinity Gauntlet with it and have gems that make it do weird stuff.

2. Argenis vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: Dang this was good. This is easily the best Argenis performance (would you believe that if you've made it this far, you will have already seen 15 Argenis matches!?!?) and the first time Pentagon has looked interesting since the ninja battle episode. Argenis takes a bunch of great Psychosis bumps from leg kicks, really getting knocked around the ring by Pentagon. You think this is going to be a one sided annihilation, which would make sense. I just pointed out that we have seen 15 Argenis matches on LU and there's a good chance most of you couldn't name a favorite Argenis memory. So it's the opening round of the Cup, obviously Pentagon is going to advance, and you don't expect much from Argenis. But then he gets a nice rana and a nice moonsault to the floor. Pentagon is obviously too much for him, as he runs into too many kicks, gets suplexed violently into the turnbuckles, gets a decent nearfall off a big neckbreaker, basically justifies his appearances up to this point. I expected nothing from this match and Argenis made it mean a little something, and Pentagon actually came off cool for the first time in ages. I think now we actually have Pentagon Dark, and before we were getting Pentagon Baja Blast or Pentagon Gamer Fuel.

TL: Basically an extended squash for Pentagon, really throwing out all the kicks he can in his offensive repertoire and saving the really good offense for Reseda, I’m guessing. Argenis DOES get some neat stuff in, as the timing on the Asai Moonsault was fantastic and that convoluted hammerlock neckbreaker at least looked cool. Dark really has the Fear Factor down to a devastating degree, as he always makes it look nasty. Agree that it was a great Argenis performance in bumping, and the months off occurred when Dark started really making his rounds on the indy scene, so you could tell he came back looking and feeling more like a big deal and it showed.

3. Texano vs. Famous B

ER: Brenda keeps getting more and more "produced" every time she appears. I don't like it. It's like they keep having her do loud and poor Harley Quinn impressions and give her way too many scripted lines to shout. Texano's powerbomb looked good.

TL: Have a soft spot for Famous B, so him taking a big powerbomb in full “first time in Texas and this is what I bought at the first Western store I could find” regalia makes it in to the win column for me. Still don’t get what they’re trying to do with Texano at this point.

TL: Actually dug the take on Mysterio/Mundo 24/7 or what have you, complete with dude with heavy British accent doing the voiceover. Whoever made the final graphic needs to know how vectors work, though, and I totally buy Dario going into his budget to really push the match because he’s such a great promoter.

ER: Michael Schiavello is just about the biggest No Buys guy you can get with me. I think his commentary is genuinely terrible.

4. Drago vs. Aerostar

ER: This didn't really work. I don't care about the lizard people, but I do think working as a defined rudo is a better move for Drago, makes his stuff have some context. But this whole thing was just poorly constructed. Aerostar did some cool things, like Aerostar will do. He also looked like he flew into a brick wall on a dive, shooting right past Drago and hitting solidly into the front row. Vampiro covered admirably by saying that Drago caught and threw him. But damn that was a nasty ending to a dive. But moves in this match meant nothing. There was no rhyme or reason to who would recover faster, no transitions, just getting up and doing moves, several of which looked nice. But this was like me trying to rap, absolutely zero flow. Sometimes Drago would attack Aerostar while he was bouncing on the ropes, other times he would patiently wait in place for the move that came after the bouncing. It didn't add up to enough for me.

TL: The odd thing about this match to me is that it didn’t seem like they had any idea how to cohesively put things together. Striker puts over the “long pauses” as they’re hesitant to go after each other, but he and Vampiro were definitely covering a lot of general mistiming. And yeah, there wasn’t a part of this match that really got going. The Aerostar dive was very Blue Panther/Villano V-esque in its nastiness, but that was a misguided highlight. They need to make up their mind on whether Drago is a willing participant or someone who really has issues taking orders from Kobra Moon. Shades of grey in this particular scenario doesn’t work.

ER: Okay, you have to believe me here, but earlier in this review when I said, "I want [Cage] to punch through somebody's body with [the power glove]," you need to realize that I do not read spoilers for these shows. I have no idea what's going to happen, didn't know about the Sexy Star title win, none of this. I had zero clue 30 minutes later that Cage would literally punch a man's head to a pulp. And not just any man, but Lorenzo Lamas, TV's Renegade ("He was on fucking Falcon Crest!"~Phil Schneider). So now Cage is a murderer, and he seems mentally fine with being a murderer, which means there are several wrestlers I would like for him to murder and will now be confused if he ever loses a match again.

TL: I think the most unrealistic part of the epilogue was the big wig saying Cage got that big lifting weights and drinking protein shakes, when obviously the glove is a synonym for roid rage. Eric is way more prescient than I am, however, and Cage going full-on grindhouse on Lorenzo F’n Lamas makes me wonder what practical in-ring special effects we’re going to get with this glove. Can’t wait for his first Cueto Cup match, where he will most likely punch someone with the glove from the ring through Cueto’s office window thanks to an invisible harness of some kind. Or him hitting the Aztec symbol in the middle of the ring to make the lights in the arena flicker on and off or something. Is it in the budget for him to go full-on Attack on Titan and have him punching holes through people now that we’ve seen what he’s done to poor Lorenzo? Really wish I could have seen the look on Cage’s face when he found out this was going to be his story arc this season, because I don’t think there was anyone else in the company happier to hear what he or she was going to do than him. My favorite storyline LU has ever done and it’s not even close.

ER: I love Tim's idea to have somebody on wires getting punched by Cage and landing 20 feet away. If you're gonna go big and silly with it, go big and silly.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 21: Sudden Death

TL: How can Rey see Vampiro? Why do people keep punching mirrors? How can Vampiro get out of his facepaint so quickly? Is that in the budget to just keep breaking mirrors? Why am I looking for logic so much? Is it a reflection on my own search for self-worth?

Nah.

1. Johnny Mundo vs. The Mack

ER: I was a huge fan of All Night Long...Again. The second it finished I immediately started this episode, and I don't think anything in LU has ever made me want to immediately watch another episode right away. I thought the timing of the finish was great and loved that Mundo retained with essentially one second left on the clock. Dario runs it back and makes it Anything Goes, and that was a nice layer to add to everything they went through the prior week. And these two made excellent use of their new stips. The match was filmed two weeks after the iron man and I thought they did a pretty great job of picking the intensity back up from where they left it. They spill to the floor pretty early after Mack catches a Mundo springboard into a stunner. Mack hits a big cannonball into the seats and I loved the visual of Mundo holding up broken chair pieces to shield himself from more attack. Mandel comes out to run interference and we get some nicely integrated parkour as Mundo scrambles up into the upper bleachers to get away from Mack. Sexy Star comes out to get rid of Mandel and she does...I mean...literally the worst double leg takedown anybody has ever seen. I don't even know how Mandel knew to fall down from it. But we get the friends out of the way and Mundo crashes down from the upper levels with a great dive. Finish is pretty sick with Mundo getting a Taya-assisted sunset flip powerbomb onto a bunch of chairs, and Mack falls short again. I like that Mundo keeps retaining, and they keep finding ways to keep the belt on him that seem worthy. I really dug this match, loved the series.

TL: Eric and Phil did a great job talking about the All Night Long match, one of the more surprising matches I can remember watching and definitely the best thing I ever saw Mundo in. I wasn’t a fan of the finish considering there was a couple minute left for Dario to do his explanation. (There’s me looking for logic again. I think I’m failing here.) That being said, I dig the Falls Count Anywhere add-on because that’s gonna guarantee some more Mundo crazy gymnastics and Mack doing something crazy with his size somehow. The match even starts out like I hoped, with both guys trying to end it early because they spent so much time against each other the week before. The Stunner counter in particular was inspired, as was Mack’s realization that even with Johnny rolling to the outside he still had a shot due to the stip. THIS is the type of stuff that made me like LU in the first place, and when they do these things right, it’s still special.

And right on cue, there’s Mack doing something crazy with his size by doing that flip dive into Mundo sitting on chairs. And as Mundo parkours out of trouble into the stands, he does an absolutely insane corkscrew plancha off the edge of the bleachers after some Ricky Mandel interference. Stretch run here was fantastic, as the nearfalls all made sense and weren’t complete overkill, and Taya making her return to help Johnny win plays into how Johnny won the title and was the natural counter to Mack being a better street fight-type guy. Another really well-done match between the two, and Mundo as champ works extremely well. Best thing I’ve seen from LU in a long time.

ER: I think Cueto could have done a *bit* better on that trophy. You can go understated without looking cheap. I expected him to go understated and simple, or big and garish. This cup with the banners or bunting just looked flimsy.

TL: The Cueto Cup seems like it should have horns on it, or dripping with blood, or filled with whiskey. Is also peak Cueto for him to turn on a dime on Matanza for looking weak and giving Rey the title shot against Mundo, but at the same time, if Matanza doesn’t whoop up on Cueto, what the hell are they doing?

2. Aerostar, Fenix & Drago vs. Pindar, Vibora & Kobra Moon

ER: Well, I guess this was what it was. The lizard stable doesn't do much for me, I do not care about their plight. Drago has been falling stock for two seasons now so maybe joining up with the evil lizards will make him more interesting again. I think Pindar/Pain is a great addition to LU as he's an impressive base and can bump big. There were some sloppy set up moments that were just lazy (Pindar on the top rope and the Aerostar just climbing up the ropes and getting onto Pain's shoulders to help with a move) but Aerostar moves like no other wrestler and Pindar is a great guy to have catching him. I really like Fenix and think LU has been his best environment. He matches up here with Vibora who is not someone I'm interested in seeing. Nobody was asking for a lucha Lance Hoyt. But, I enjoyed the sequence of Fenix kicking him off the apron. The trios division feels like it's on a downward trajectory.

TL: Aeorstar’s ridiculous acrobatic offense continues, as his pairing with Pindar showed off some tremendous timing and Pindar’s amazing ability as a base. Then the damn Luchasaurus comes in and, well, it all comes screeching to a halt. I still don’t get how it’s a lucha company and a martinete isn’t illegal, and then they one up it with the Drago re-turn, which had him literally tagging in on Team Reptile while tagging with Aerostar and Fenix. Again, I’m looking for logic and getting nowhere, which seems like I need to just curb that during these reviews.

ER: Mundo backstage segment felt like Mundo, Mandel and Taya were all filmed separately, came off really weird. Mandel would react to things wrong, they kept jumping back and forth from comedy to serious, it all came off odd. But, it was all saved by "There's no time for pants."

TL: To be fair, I don’t like wearing pants when I train either, so I’m squarely on Team Mundo here.

3. Boyle Heights Street Fight: Mil Muertes vs. Prince Puma

ER: These two have had plenty of big time fights, last in a Grave Consequences match. Striker built this as Puma perhaps finally beating Muertes (even though he already beat him earlier this season), but this kind of just continues LU's weird habit of not building to anything very well this season. If Striker is building up "local hero" Puma's final chance at besting Muertes, it's weird that it came as an unannounced match on a show where the big deal was clearly the resolution of Mack/Mundo. They had over a year to make the proper vignettes or do the proper build, this whole match was taped 13 months prior! And the best they can do is have fat zombie Vampiro glower at him occasionally. But whatever, the match was fun because you know these two match up nicely. Puma takes a rough bump through the chairs and gets speared through a table he set up (aint' that always the case?) and does plenty of amusing things, my favorite being hanging onto the stair handrail at its peak, with Muertes trying to throw him over. Puma has some nice comebacks, with a flat out awesome kick jumping off Dario's office wall. Puma always takes Muertes' big powerslams nice, and Muertes took enough damage to make a loss believable, taking a stiff 630 and then taking a freaking brick to the face to finish. I have no interest in where the Vampiro storyline can go, but in a vacuum this match was plenty fun.

TL: One of my favorite pairings in LU hook up again and my expectations are high, especially after Grave Consequences. Scariest part of the first few minutes was when they cut to Vampiro looking at the monitor enjoying the violence and you couldn’t see where his hands were. There is an issue here with doing a similar match to the opener because you have more crowd brawling and it’s getting into ECW territory with going to the well once too many times, but Puma using everything from signs to a shoe for a weapon was top notch. Cueto almost casually telling them to get out of his office was one of the better spots of the match. Striker is very much doing too much trying to get the story over here, and here I thought nobody was yelling in his ear about story points. Don’t know if Puma’s gonna be able to do the flipping Van Terminator on WWE TV as long as Shane-O-Mac is still on screen. Finish was interesting with Puma getting the 630, eating a stone shot, then taking the Vampiro brick and crushing Mil for the win. Just their chemistry alone makes it a good match, but at the same time, there probably wasn’t much else they could do for an encore after Grave Consequences. Obviously going to set up Puma getting another shot at Mundo/Rey because there really isn’t anyone else who could win the Cueto Cup (Plus the Rey title shot at the Cup finals), but at the same time, probably the best matchup that could be done at Ultima Lucha III.



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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 18: Evil Rising

ER: So Matt had another baby because he's crazy, and now his wrestling viewing time is even more limited. For SOME reason he was having a tough time prioritizing season 3 of Lucha Underground. So great friend Tim Livingston will now step in as my THIRD LU writing partner, diving bravely into the middle of a top 3 season of the series. I am grateful.

ER: The romantic in me likes that Mil Muertes is not Catrina's true love. Like there's some guy out there who she was truly in love with but went for Mil because he could help her career/allow her to live for many millenia/give her access to transportive powers. But she lives with the regrets of not jumping off that scary cliff with that other guy, because she knew people would talk, and maybe they'd say he wasn't right for her, that Mil was more in line with her career needs. But this other guy...maybe he made her laugh...maybe they kissed like...really well...maybe they just clicked. And she lives with those regrets, every day.

TL: I see it more like Catrina went to an evil summer camp years ago and had her first kiss and hasn’t had one nearly as good as that one in her life and is destined to relive it over and over. Very much a Wet Hot American Summer type of vibe, but with evil stones and Power Gloves. Mil wondering how Puma didn’t die and finding out it was Vampiro who kept him alive makes this quite the unbelievable story arc. Then again, so does Jeremiah Crane getting with Catrina. Guessing the only thing that’s gonna make her love him is he goes to the vault and shows her his matches against Finlay. That’ll probably just make her love Finlay, though, so who could blame her?

TL: The house band having an electric violin only makes me want to see an electric banjo in a mariachi band.

1. Mariposa vs. Sexy Star

ER: What more can you really say about Sexy Star matches at this point? We've already seen her and Mariposa match up before, seen them team together, they had an I Quit match, and here we still are. Mariposa swinging Star's head into the announce table several times was one of my favorite things to happen in a Star match, but we got plenty of clunky moments as well. My favorite clunky moment was Star throwing a few strange out of position body shots at Mariposa, which Mariposa doesn't even realize she should be selling, and then Star just pauses and hip tosses her. The double stomp finish is a good one, though I don't think I would trust stumbly bumbly Star to not just full force on my spleen. Striker and Vampiro tried to put over the history of these two, but they went out and had a match like "hey, this is who they said I was wrestling tonight". I don't really understand the Moth turn on Mariposa. Is he going to feud with her? Who's the tecnico? Are they writing her out as what else is really left for her? I'd rather see Moth as a big bumping goon against people his own size.

TL: Damn it all, my first match reviewing Lucha Underground and it’s a Sexy Star match? This is quite the initiation process we have here at Segunda Caida. Really can’t wait for the pledging ceremony, where I’ll probably be forced to watch every Tiger Ali Singh/Antonio Inoki match. At least this match is with Mariposa, who is someone I’m betting Star can’t try and get unprofessional with. Man, it’s been a while since I’ve really heard Matt Striker commentary, but his overpronounciation of Spanish accents is extremely grating. Sexy actually throws a nice rana and does a pretty dang good tope con hilo through the middle ropes that Mariposa takes like a champ. Striker says Sexy has the “lucha advantage,” whatever that is. Sexy’s arm looks legit messed up, which means irony is absolutely the theme of this match. Mariposa’s ridiculous inverted Indian Deathlock while kicking Sexy in the head is amazing and someone needs to steal that. I love Cheerleader Melissa so much. Sexy finishes with an alright double stomp, but this match didn’t really have much to it. Marty then comes in afterwards and chokeslams his sister because this show doesn’t have enough male-on-female violence in the first place, I guess.

TL: The Rabbit Tribe gimmick is funny if only because I feel Paul London actually got told to do drugs before coming to the tapings. Would much rather watch Special K matches, though. Although now I’m thinking about watching Low Ki going crazy on Mala Suerte and I’m all about it. Gotta love Mascarita Sagrada curling literally more than his own bodyweight.

2. The Rabbit Tribe (Paul London/Mala Suerte/Saltador) vs. Drago/Pindar/Vibora

ER: This was a bunch of fun, mostly until Vibora got involved with his lizard Lance Hoyt vibes. I really love Pindar's mask, and Steve Pain is awesome. Love the Pindar/Suerte match-up. Cholo was one of the best things about the earlier seasons so it's nice to have him back, and that springboard headscissors was slick. Pindar hits a violent powerslam, but we can never get too far into overdrive as Vibora is always right there waiting to slow things down. Post match Aerostar/Fenix run-in was fun, but they're going to have to get pretty creative to work around luchasaurus. I hope they can find the right balance.

TL: Haven’t seen either Pinda (Steve Pain) or Vibora (Austin Matelson) before, although Striker sells Vibora as a 7-footer (he’s 6’5”) and now I wonder if I can book myself (at 6’3) as the 7-Foot Broadcaster. Lifts probably don’t help at the table. Vibora gets the “Luchasaurus” chant after Drago gets a short showcase spot or two, as he got forced into this match thanks to Kobra Moon’s insistence. The match has some Rabbit Tribe goofiness, although the reptiles do a cool double team big boot/Towerhacker Bomb (one of my favorite moves). Drago almost kills Saltador dead with a flipping neckbreaker to finish. Another match that kinda dragged through the steps towards a finish, mostly thanks to the big guy. I’m with Eric on Pain, though. Dude looked good. Drago gets saved post-match by Fenix and Aerostar, with Aerostar doing some ridiculous acrobatics as per usual, including an outside-in springboard into an assisted Codebreaker. I mean, if you’re gonna go big, at least go as big and ridiculous as possible.

ER: You need the lifts for when we walk out, then you need a phone book on you chair so that the 7' tag plays while sitting down. There you have it. 7 Feet of broadcasting fury!

TL: I’ve worked for two baseball teams in my life and for six years I’ve seen some absolutely ridiculously complex handshakes between teammates, which made the camera work on the handshake between Sexy and Mack look more overchoreographed than the handshake itself, an extremely difficult task. Someone really loves their jump cuts in the editing room.

3. Johnny Mundo vs. The Mack

ER: Fun match with a really poorly executed finish. And I'm not sure when Mack is going to completely tilt all the way into "Al Snow working 1999 WWE tribute spots at minor league baseball stadiums", but doing the stunner and people's elbow are probably way better for his body longterm than flying kicks and moonsaults. I thought this was supposed to be the title match, but instead we get a "winner picks the stipulation for the title match that will air in several months" match. This felt like whatever a touring match would be between these two. I liked Mack's sit out powerbombs, did not like Vampiro honing his Austin Power's impression during the match. That interference at the end took forever. Mack looked like a doofus.

TL: I find it really odd it took so long for Mundo to get the title considering he’s probably easily the most marketable talent they have on the show, but hey, what do I know? It’s not like he got a role on a hit Netflix show or anything. They REALLY play up the racial/socioeconomic difference on commentary and I get really uncomfortable for a moment as Vampiro sticks his foot in his mouth. I loved Mundo’s WWECW singles run, as he did well with the long TV matches, and this is very reminiscent of those. Pretty boy bully athleticism to play to his advantages (he stops himself on a springboard that was really nifty), gives Mack some big moments, and does some good transitions (liked the cat and mouse with the stuff under the ring). Agree with Eric on Mack’s sitout powerbomb, which looked sick and was very Spirit Bomb-esque. Really don’t get Marty Elias taking that much time looking outside the ring, but yeah, that finish took way too damn long. Was really hoping the “All Night Long” stip was a Lionel Richie karaoke contest.

ER: Loved Muertes beating the hell out of Vampiro, but really hoping it doesn't lead to any kind of feud. Still, Muertes needed a cool moment, and coming out just to rush Vampiro felt kinda cool.

TL: Even more than that finish, I REALLY don’t get how Vampiro couldn’t get out of the Flatliner while telling Puma “No!” but dug Muertes whooping up on him nonetheless. You’d think after dealing with Konnan that Puma would have learned his lesson messing with the carniest of luchadors, but man he’s really playing Lucha Sting here to a T. If Vampiro turns on him, he’s got nobody to blame but himself.

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