Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 39 Ultima Lucha Tres Part 3

1. Last Luchadora Standing: Taya vs. Sexy Star

ER: So this worked better than it should have, and was probably Sexy Star's best actual performance. I think I've said in several other matches something along the lines of "This was probably the best possible match that _____ could have had with Sexy Star", and while I can't say she was actually good in it, for the most part, this felt like her best actual performance. All Sexy Star matches will always have that feeling of minding a toddler while he waddles around a playground: You're omnipresent and next to them at all times, but they don't really take your suggestions on what to do, and sometimes they'll stare at things overly long, and then they'll point and shout something unintelligible at something, and then they'll need help climbing steps, and they'll grab things that don't belong to them, and you don't really feel like you're needed there but need to be there constantly trying to catch them if they fall. Sexy Star kind of toddles around the Temple, and Taya follows her around, throwing herself through chairs and into grating and into tables and bleeding. For her part of things, Star slaps Taya with authority, lands a couple stomach kicks, and throws shots to the back of Taya's neck that actually look painful. They fall into a lot of things, chairs, the bleacher seats, a table, and it almost always looks good. I don't want to see Sexy Star wrestling anymore, but I appreciated that she tightened a couple things up in what should be her last LU match (unless season 4 is already planning on being the Season of Sexy!).

TL: Take a drink every time Striker says “war.” Seriously, it’s amazing. I remember saying it maybe a time or two too many during a recent PPW main event, but he’s in love with the word. Taya got one of my favorite Jeremiah Crane performances out of him in the Cueto Cup and so I am all in on her actually making a Sexy Star match good with her bumping and stooging. Taya even blades, which I am not surprised at in the least. God, hindsight is amazing here with Striker saying Sexy fights for what’s just and ethical. My favorite part about Eric’s toddler analogy is when I look up and see Sexy literally crawling around the ring as if she can’t find her favorite pacifier. They really do lay it in, at least, with the chops looking good even if the sound effects oversell their effectiveness. Sexy does lead Taya around by the nose everywhere; it’s amazing how much Taya is chasing her in this match. The garbage spots do look good, even if there’s a few times where things got telegraphed, but Taya really had a great performance here again. Now make sure there’s no more Sexy Star in Season 4. After the bullshit she pulled last year, she doesn’t deserve to be back, let alone get a push similar to what she got in Season 3.

2. Pindar/Vibora/Drago vs. The Mack/Killshot/Dante Fox

ER: I like this, very edgy subversive stuff here, an impressive Black Lives Matter allegory having every black member of the roster trying to save their America by waging global war against the Deep State Lizard People. It's some pretty revolutionary stuff here on hour 3 of Ultima Lucha Tres. And you know what? I really liked this as a title win for Mack/Killshot/Fox. The Lizard People have been really disappointing as champions, feels like they shouldn't need belts. But Mack's team winning felt like a great tecnico moment, and there aren't a ton of great tecnico moments in this fed that aren't immediately made bittersweet. I don't really know if the match was good, but it felt like a couple doors shutting that had been open for way too long. The Lizards haven't felt as big as they probably anticipated, so it's a good time to dial them back a bit, and the Fox/Killshot feud went on too long and I'd rather see their style as a team than as opponents. Mack came off - again - like a major star in the match, and they really messed up by not shoving him high up the card way quicker. It may get there eventually, but Mack is a guy they could make face of the company, and should. Although I can't believe that the cameras switched away and miss most of Vibora's bump off the Pounce. I don't think I've ever even seen Luchasaurus take a bump, so Mack making him fly off his feet feels like it should have been a big deal. Striker takes forever wrapping up a bootlace-as-secret-code story to just say that Fox and Killshot are working nicely together. I also really liked Pindar in this, he's been a great add to the roster, and I'd love for him to be repackaged. He is an awesome base, gets to show a little bit of personal lizard pride by refusing Kobra Moon's demand that he use a chain, and he's one of the few guys to opt to do a moonsault to sell a Stunner. Has anyone done a moonsault stunner bump? Rock would infamously handspring his way across the ring, but I don't know if I've seen a moonsault bump from it. Dante Fox's back still looks completely disgusting (his death match was filmed the day before!), and him doing a major flip dive over the buckles and just skidding on his back was gruesome. There was flayed skin hanging off. The match was okay, decent energy, but the actual moments and implications were the best.

TL: It wouldn’t be a professional wrestling match if all the available black guys in the fed didn’t wrestle in the same match together. Legit surprised Famous B didn’t come out with them. I’m all about the first few minutes of this match, where Fox and Killshot try their usual stuff but their injuries catch up and it becomes what I wanted most in this match: A Pindar showcase! He has a great little run here during the Lizard control segment, and then when Mack gets the hot tag and the tecnicos figure it out, it gets good. That shot of Fox’s back was absolutely disgusting. Pindar taking the fall was bleh because he looked the best in the match on the Lizard side, but he also made the finishing run look good. And yeah, it’s nice to see tecnicos do something cool without consequence. This was definitely a match where the moments were more important than the sum of its parts, but there was a good layout and everyone was used well. Surprised Drago didn’t get much of a showcase here. Fox is an insane person for going out there and doing his usual stuff with his back like that basically 24 hours after that match. Killshot was at least smart enough to take flip bumps onto his stomach most of the time.

3. Ladder Match: Son of Havoc vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: This isn't very good, and has some absolutely brutal prop set up. The only interesting moment of prop set up is when Pentagon starts throwing a bunch of ladders into the ring and Striker brings up the Public Enemy match. Vampiro compares this moment to when he was in FMW with Terry Funk, and I genuinely don't think that Funk and Vampiro were ever around each other before WCW. I don't think Vampiro ever wrestled in FMW, and I don't think Funk ever wrestled in WAR, really don't think they would have ever been on tour with a company together, before WCW. But then again he has already stated that he got to see Misawa/Kawada matches while on tour with All Japan and...that never happened. The match reaches peak crazy when Pentagon delivers a package piledriver through opened chairs. It didn't lead to a finish. Pentagon proceeds to slowly set up several ladders, and it's completely interminable because the whole time you knew it wasn't going to lead to anything nearly as cool as Crazy Crusher vs. Hell Storm. And for a guy who is I guess spreading the devil's message of violence, Pentagon never actually feels very comfortable setting up all these ladders and tables. It leads to this silly moment where there is a ladder resting on the middle rope and within the rungs of an opened ladder, and he and Havoc are brawling slowly on it because it's rickety and they don't want to fall...but it's like 2 1/2 feet off the mat. This is no Bill Dundee hanging off a scaffold, this is more a red panda hanging off a low branch, and he's trying to recover, but he's just got his panda strength to work with, and eventually he falls...but it's like a 1 foot drop. This didn't work for me.

TL: Dark is gonna have to show me something here because after so much time giving him the benefit of the doubt and saying he’d bring it in a big match, this is the type of situation where he needs to show up. Vampiro bringing up tours of Japan he never went on goes into the JBL Honorary Hall of Fame right alongside “Riki Tenryu” and his drugged showdown with an inflated dinosaur he calls Godzilla during a WWE tour of Japan. Also, not a single ladder hit Havoc when Dark threw them in there, so that wasn’t even close to the Funk ECW chair stuff. Striker also makes an Art Vandelay joke. With as much as I’m talking about commentary, it should tell you what I think of this match. It’s literally setup spot after setup spot. Something happens, weak transition spot (they tried the Randy Orton/Evan Bourne RKO spot and it didn’t look good at all), guy sets something up. Rinse and repeat. Dark literally wrestles as if he’s not getting paid enough for this shit, and since I’m not getting paid at all for it, I’ll care just as much. For a match between two ultraviolent characters where one of them came up as a real-life backyarder, this was as anti-violent and plodding as anything you’d see on this show, but set up much like you'd imagine a backyard ladder match would be. You saw how the first night ended. You saw how the second night ended. I understand if the feeling was that they couldn’t top any of that, but at least go out and try. It’s the blowoff show. Literally no reason to hold anything back here. This was a hastily put together match but could have been much better than it had any right to be. As far as Dark is concerned, I’m out on him.

TL: Man alive, are they telegraphing what’s gonna happen to Puma here. I mean, if you read this site, pretty sure you are up to speed on current pro wrestling news, so it’s no secret what’s going to happen to Puma. If I was watching this when it aired not knowing what was going to happen, it wouldn’t have made me change my mind on Vampiro obviously looking to screw over Puma. It’s another part of this that I had watched previously in highlight form so I’m foggy on specifics, but we’ll see if my feelings change watching the finale.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 29: The Hunger Inside

ER: I have to wonder if Cueto feeding Matanza a big plate of raw meat is an inside joke. When we were just starting Phoenix Pro Wrestling, my pal Josh (PPW owner/booker) drove down to meet up with JR Kratos and Jeff Cobb to film some things, and go over plans for the first few shows. And he said at one point that day the two of them ate this huge bowl of raw looking meat, while chatting, just getting that protein.

TL: So last episode, I was either uninterested (three matches with three indy standoffs to start off will do it to you) or Eric made all the good points already so I’m gonna jump right in and be all about this week’s episode. I hope. Matanza wanting raw meat that bad just makes me want sashimi, and also makes me want to go back to Japan. Hey! Jeff was in Japan in December! He ate steak! I don’t know if it was raw, but he ate steak! Gonna say with 100% confidence that this scene was the thing that got him to Japan. Deductive reasoning at its finest, baby.

1. Pindar vs. Fenix

ER: This delivered just about what I wanted, with Pindar dropping a bunch of big slams and powerbomb variations, hard elbow shots to the jaw and back of the head, and Fenix almost killing himself. My favorite part of the match was actually Kobra Moon choking Fenix in the corner while the ref was distracted. She really got that arm wrapped around his neck and sunk it in from a position of leverage. That choke is pro wrestling right there. Pindar threw some nice knuckle punches at Fenix's dome. Pindar still looks like Dirk Benedict at the end of Sssssss, and to my surprise we don't get a dozen shots of Melissa concerned for Fenix (just one!). Luckily, Pindar is base-y as hell because Fenix could have died doing that Spanish fly off the top. Finish is awesome with Fenix just jumping both knees first right into Pindar's guy, the way I used to jump off the back of the couch onto my poor father.

TL: Pindar as a base for Fenix’s shenanigans makes me giddy coming in. I have absolutely no idea what Vampiro’s talking about with Fenix’s black and white attire. Pindar with a fantastic quebradora that Fenix bumped crazy for. In fact, that’s just the beginning of an AWESOME run of Pindar offense. The spinning wheel kick in the corner is one of my favorite moves I’ve seen in a long time and was very Jerry Flynnesque. The monkey flip with Fenix doing the AJ Styles “wait until the last possible second to tuck and roll” bump was insane. Even Pindar’s crazy-ass Royal Butterfly slam just looked cool. Then Fenix one-ups him with his ridiculous springboard sole butt to the face, which basically always looks good. That Spanish Fly was definitely problematic, but Pindar snapping off for the bump was masterful. I really hope we get to see more of him this season. Great start, even with Fenix off his game.

TL: Jack Evans with a wired jaw is high comedy to me considering his body is basically made out of rubber. Still a better promo not being able to talk right than PJ.

2. Dante Fox vs. Prince Puma

ER: I'm so tired of writing up matches like these. I don't know what to say anymore. Big moves were hit, usually really well! Strikes were exchanged, dives were done; some of the moves looked really painful, but they probably weren't because neither guy seemed to have much trouble taking a move and then doing a move. Sometimes moves didn't hurt, and other times just doing a move might make you lie on the mat and breathe hard. At one point I actually forgot who was who, as it didn't really matter in terms of following along with the action. You knew cool things were going to happen, and after about 10 minutes of cool things then one of the guys would be pinned. Both men may as well have been wearing Green Man jumpsuits, as it really didn't matter who was doing what. This was the sexiest of the sexy dance fighting. Do you remember years and years ago, when (I think) Eric Bischoff suggested making pro wrestling an Olympic sport, with judges and points systems? A lot of us within our circle laughed it off and knew it would just be cooperative gymnastics specifically appealing to judges instead of crafting something interesting. Well, this - and a lot of popular current wrestling style - is cooperative gymnastics specifically appealing to judges. This is wrestling seeking star ratings and chants, all that's missing at this point is breathing heavily while holding your pose at the end of your Bolero routine. These two should enter some kind of swing dancing competitions or something. There's a whole touring circuit out there that's missing them.

TL: So this has all the makings of all of the crazy athleticism of Ricochet/Ospreay, matches that I actively disliked due to the choreography. Also, Striker calling Puma/PJ Black a five-star matchup is such pandering bullshit it makes me take him less serious than ever. And yeah, this match doesn’t start off the way I’d like it to, as both guys do the dive tradeoff as the substitute for your normal indy standoff; selling not even optional, more like non-existent. Something finally happens when Puma catches the Fox moonsault, only for it to be a DDT that looked sick enough that if it got no-sold, I would have just skipped the match entirely. Fox grabbing a chinlock after four minutes, with the way this match started, would make Kevin Owens laugh out loud. Randy Orton doesn’t even have the balls to do that. Then, when Puma goes right back on offense, it’s as if the Fox “control segment” didn’t even matter. And now they go into a damn rollup sequence and then a ludicrous kick-trading sequence. AND THEN THEY SELL FATIGUE TO TRADE ELBOWS. Good lord almighty. One of the reasons Dragon Lee/Kamaitachi at least worked was that they built up to stuff in a way and sold high impact stuff in a way that at least made sense. This was a cherry picked version of that match where selling only mattered to remember the next sequence. Striker also literally calls a brainbuster a “modified Jackhammer” in this match. I know Puma’s moving on. You know Puma’s moving on. I am moving on from this match because it’s just not even close to the type of wrestling I can enjoy. I’ll just say this: Ricochet going to NXT is going to 100% work out for my personal enjoyment of him because they’ll figure out the best way to tone him down and accentuate his strengths. At least until they sign Ospreay in a year or two.

TL: Oh, so NOW they figure out Cage killed a guy with the power glove. This is the worst police department of all time. I do think it’s hilarious they somehow got the TV feed from Cortez’s match as Veneno, as if they can access the shows at any time. I have a feeling they can get the Tom Magee/Bret Hart match.

3. Johnny Mundo vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: [I'm not sure what happened, as I wrote this up some time ago and when I went to post, I had nothing written for this match, no memory of what happened in it, no clue what happened to whatever I originally wrote]

TL: We get a close look at Ron Funches and the Mysterio family in the crowd, with Dominic looking big. Striker references them often in this one, so I figured I’d just get it out of the way now. This match coming in was something I’d be interested in if Dragon literally works this like Rey would against Mundo, but instead, he gets off to a good start with an enziguiri and then a springboard rana that Mundo rolls outside for with a ridiculous bump. I have no idea why Azteca would do a forward roll before trying a pescado rana, but Johnny’s sick spinebuster counter off it is another great Mundo transition spot. Mundo’s control sequence is fun with his sliding knee and his always good-looking springboard kick. Azteca works really well from underneath here, and when he is able to vault Mundo to the floor, he hits a truly insane somersault plancha over the ringpost, complete with awesome camera shot. I also love Dragon’s unique kick counters, as he slides towards the corner off a whip and then just catches a charging Mundo in the face. I also love a good Toyota Roll, and Dragon does a great one here. Azteca also busts out the prawn hold from the top rope, which always looks nasty. Of course, Mundo trips up Dragon on the top and finishes with The End of the World (this one more of a headbutt than a splash). This was your normal good Mundo match. Postmatch, Mundo tries to go too far with the chair around Dragon’s neck, only for Rey to save him and take him to the back…which leads to Mundo coming back out and getting in Dominic’s face, with Dominic actually saying, “You know who I am.” Then he eats a belt shot while Rey gets held back by Johnny’s posse. It’s a great heat-seeking move, to be honest, even if it was telegraphed and the Mysterio family did no favors with their acting. Feel like this was a way better build-up than any of the “true fight” stuff from the weeks before.

TL: Yeah, this had way more meat for me to dig into this week, even if the only match I truly got into was the opener. Next episode has the Mil Muertes/Jeremiah Crane match that has had a build and is supposedly quite good, so we’ll see how well that stacks up.


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 27: Fade to Black

TL: I know it’s not the season for it anymore, but for me to be watching this show with so many scenes on rooftops during the Christmas season and not make an “Up on the Rooftop” reference means that I just left content hanging out there for you guys and for that, I am sorry. I really am. Also, this has both the most substitute teacher-looking Vampiro so far and PJ Black flipping the bird towards Puma. I don’t really have much else for that. Just that it happened.

1. Pindar vs. Cage

ER: I was looking forward to this match, but oh well, now we got Pindar as a bracket buster. The ref leaned into that big Cage lariat, and it's getting pretty annoying how they've been taking every other week off as it concerns DQs. Pretty sure every match last week had some kind of interference.

TL: Pindar being announced from a different time (“When Reptiles Ruled the Earth”) makes me wonder why more wrestlers don’t try things like that. The Vaudevillains should have been billed from “When Motion Pictures Were Turned with a Hand Crank” or something to that regard. “When Two Bits Were a Common Form of Currency.” “When The Wright Brothers Finished Their First Flight.” Anyways, you reading this took longer than the match, as Cage didn’t want to take off the Power Glove and knocks out Ph.D. Justin Borden and Pindar with it before the DQ. Borden is nuts for letting Cage essentially do a one-armed Screwdriver to him since Cage did it with the glove on. Can’t wait for there to be a DQ next week for a closed fist.

2. Dante Fox vs. Son of Havoc

ER: The Dario inconsistent rulings really are made more annoying when they come back to back. He's cool with Cage/Pindar not actually having a match, but THIS match we ALL need to see? And also, can anybody confirm that Vampiro has ever even been in the same room as Misawa? He's brought it up three times this season, and I can't recall any kind of AJPW tours that he was on pre-NOAH split, and I know he never showed up on a NOAH tour. I think there's an honest chance that I have been in live attendance more times, AND appeared in photographs more times with Misawa than Vampiro has. And as long as you zoned out during all of the move set up, this match totally delivered. Some of the set ups were just awful, really glaring "Hey could you wait there for me to hit this move? Sure, just return the favor for me by awkwardly rolling 6 feet over so I can hit a moonsault." But the big moves were ridiculous, and I'm glad Fox got the win after some of his lunacy. He does a massive flip dive that overshoots Havoc (he overshoots his flip dives so much that I'm almost starting to think it's on purpose), weird stuff like jumping onto the top rope knees first to do a strange Spanish fly variation, that brutal leg drop from the top rope to the apron (really I'd love more wrestlers aping Damien Wayne than Kenny Omega) and then taking a coconuts death valley driver from the apron WAY far away onto the floor. He really felt like he was pulling out all his tricks and while I hated a lot of the transitions in the match, I'm glad his crazy was rewarded.

TL: This match-up is something I’m definitely lukewarm on, but mainly on the Havoc side. Fox is a guy I’ve liked more than I haven’t but there’s too much here for bad habits to present itself with. Fox busts out his absolutely insane somersault plancha over the ringpost that he’d hit in Reseda and the aforementioned leg drop, but I actually liked him looking up to the ceiling before he hit the Swanton which made me think he might actually hit something hanging down. He’s just insanely athletic. Lo Mein Pain is normally a goofy set up but he hits it well here. This match really does devolve into inconsistency with the transitions to Son of Havoc’s offense because he takes SO much time before trying to hit something. The time it took before that apron DVD was just mindnumbingly long. I’ve talked about how much I love the Mushroom Stomp, but Havoc hits one so lightly here I thought he slipped. The flashes of good don’t make up for the inconsistent overall construction of it. It’s pretty obvious that Fox being in there with the right guy means it’s going to be awesome, though. Havoc’s just not the guy.

TL: Benjamin Cooke is basically a Paul Heyman-like talking head that can blow smoke up asses and is just sleazy enough to make you think he can get you a job on…well, a show like Lucha Underground, actually. Very meta. Need more Johnny Mundo talking about Ghost Dad 2 and less screen time to guys that aren’t gonna add much to stories.

3. PJ Black vs. Prince Puma

ER: Boy this did just nothing at all for me. Worse, it annoyed me. That strike exchange annoyed the hell out of me. I mean my god was that stupid. And it went on forever. Just big leaping spinny kicks and knees and bad forearms and a neverending sequence of guys spinning from a strike just to hit their own spinny strike. And they were selling how tired they were, so it was done in an almost preposterous slow motion. This kind of strike exchange can still work within the Low-Ki/Red Jackie Chan fast countering style, but I thought this "we're exhausted but we're having a war using the least efficient strikes to do so" looked horrible and embarrassing. The spots weren't nearly as impressive as the previous match, and those move and strike exchanges were the worst of modern wrestling.

TL: Yeah, a few minutes in and I’m echoing Eric’s sentiments. They run through a Reseda Standoff that has been seen WAY too many times before and then Puma goes through a long control segment that just doesn’t grab me. Black busts out a reverse suplex into a Dragon Clutch and it just makes me want to watch a Low Ki match. If this was a straight up sprint that went six minutes and had just insane athletic moves from both guys, it would be way better than this. The match starting with Puma’s comeback should have been the match but with everything at a breakneck pace. I really hate that there are moves with WWE-related buzzwords like “Wellness Policy.” It’s just so petty and makes you look minor league. OH CRAP, THAT STRIKE EXCHANGE IS TERRIBLE. All those kicks not putting anyone down, two guys who can’t throw strikes throwing strikes…I’m trying to talk myself into this match and that took me out. I’m now actively just waiting for the end of it. Black pops up back for a counter after taking a super poison rana. Sure. The Puma 630 was super low and tight, which was cool, but this match was just not even remotely close to being “amazing” like Striker said it was. Guessing Meltz Is feeding him lines at this point.

ER: PJ Black gets a match against Rey Mysterio on the very next episode, and Dario tells him that "he will finally be able to show the fans what he's all about." He was literally JUST in the main event of this show, and lost a "war". What more can he honestly be about that he hasn't shown in his 18 or so LU matches so far?

TL: Don’t get why Cueto would even take three calls from Cooke, let alone 18. If someone was trying to call me that many times, I’d fire the wrestler he represents. Easy peasy. Hate booking a match where you put a guy in Black’s position, where you either make Rey look weak because you want to make Black strong for some reason, or you book a completely predictable match against a guy who’s supposed to be the most legendary figure in the company. Just an odd booking choice and a complete lapse of judgement in resources.


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 23: Family First

ER: My gosh you guys! Fenix and Melissa Santos are getting steamyyyyyyyy. They were acting like cute high school kids, with Fenix cruising up in his custom Camaro (I have to imagine the highway patrol would not recommend driving in a mask, as your peripheral vision is of utmost importance on the road) and suddenly the garage gets super windy as Melissa's hair swoops around. These wild eyed kids.

TL: I think what makes this unbelievable to me is that Fenix would drive that type of car, although it does vibe with Eric’s description of literally every movie we grew up watching depicting high school romance. If Fenix was wearing a jean jacket, I would have thought it was too on the nose. Marty is still psychotic, don’t you know. Don’t get why you have to bang your head through glass to prove it, but there you have it. Psychotic Marty Martinez. Psychomoth. Okay, how come he wasn’t just Psychomoth from the start?!? Shoutouts to Melissa for the wardrobe change before the opener.

1. Vinny Massaro vs. Cage

ER: Glad to see Massaro in an actual match, and it was a fun one. Vinny has always been able to crack a jaw with a forearm, and he blasts Cage a few times here. Cage is a beast and leans in to everything, all of Vinny's lariats and elbows, and throws back. Vinny works in one of my favorite spots from his old trainer Mike Modest, when Cage tries to slingshot him back in the ring Vinny just lets go of the ropes and gives Cage an eyepoke (Modest would usually throw a forearm). But Cage catches a lariat and slams Vinny on the apron. I liked Vinny's hope comeback and liked how the Temple crowd was getting into it. Naturally he goes for the Power Glove, misses, and Cage spikes him with the screwdriver. Postmatch Vinny gets busted open and chokeslammed from the ring to the floor. Vinny does not do well in Lucha Underground post match.

TL: Vinny Mass out here taking it to Cage and getting some offense in! He lights up Cage a bit with some nice forearms and then even gets a nice STO. With Cage basically on one leg, this is at least fun, especially to see Cage power through it to make some of this stuff work. Vinny took some pretty sick bumps, including the aforementioned chokeslam, where he really took a nasty fall. So sad to see the pride of Sicily go so soon.

TL: I’m now starting to see what Eric was talking about with these voiceovers, as the cheesiness is definitely apparent. Mundo going the full Johnny Lawrence is inspired, though.

2. Marty the Moth Martinez vs. Saltador

ER: Not loving how Saltador-heavy this match was, as working the LSD gimmick basically just means a sorta boring wrestler now also wrestles badly. It doesn't really work. And Moth isn't really a good style match for him, as they both brought out bad aspects of each other. It's fun watching Moth bump around for armdrags and run into a superkick, but he's a big guy and I like him more against other big guys. Here instead of throwing bombs and big bumps he broke out a bunch of indy offense, like a big silly chokeslam into his own knees while he takes a back bump. That stuff is almost always dumb. The powerbomb into the railing was sick, but didn't seem to mean anything to the context of the match.

TL: Saltador going full on tripped out World of Sport chain wrestling madness is going to get a win from me, even if I’m not a big fan of the mind games shtick. I get the disconnect Eric is talking about, but at least he’s playing up to the gimmick. Striker playing up the sensuality and Marty getting turned on by the violence just makes me shake my head, though. This match made me feel a bunch of different weird ways. It had some decent Marty offense. And the postmatch stalker collage is a bit much, but hey, character development!

3. Pindar vs. Mascarita Sagrada

ER: Pindar was a good choice for this match, as I'm both excited to see him advance (although I was half expecting them to let Sagrada advance improbably far in this tournament) and get more singles matches, but he's also a good base for Sagrada's insanity. Throw all logic out the window and just accept that a super sturdy guy is going to be taking flip bumps for a 60 pound man. Sagrada hits a nutso flip dive rana through the ropes and slaps Kobra Moon. Vampiro - I assume quoting Trump at a recent campaign rally - says he "slapped the bitch out of her". Pindar hits him with a stiff yakuza kick and an amusing flapjack cutter. Pindar was also benevolent enough to not recklessly destroy the little guy.

TL: Pindar continues to be one of the best bases in LU history by being right there for all of Mascarita’s offense and hitting some really nice power offense. He even does the damn Harley Race/Brock Lesnar high knee bump in the corner and I am all in. The Sagrada tope suicida con Dragonrana is an insane spot. And then he does the rope walk diving rana to the outside. The Pyramid Driver into the flapjack to finish by Pindar was ridiculous. This was very fun professional wrestling to watch.

4. Mariposa vs. Fenix

ER: This is probably the best showing in LU for Mariposa, which is a sentence that probably nobody cares about. Vampiro says "Mariposa has been beaten down all her life," which...is not something that has ever actually been implied in any of the Mariposa sketches. I assume Vampiro does not actually watch these shows. But Mariposa looked good, and Fenix is a nut getting spiked on a tornado DDT. Mariposa gets a nice rana to the floor, but really the match was pretty inconsequential. Moth comes out after and Fenix hits a wild dive on everybody.

TL: Mariposa seems extremely underutilized when Sexy F’n Star is getting all that run and she shows again why in this match, pulling out some fun as all hell offense and going toe to toe with Fenix with the highly contrived lucha sequences. I like that she got a bunch of offense in at least, but it was a sudden finish. Bleh way to end just to get to that dive.

ER: Is this tournament going to take place over the rest of the season? Tying up 32 guys like this seems like a really bad idea. I'm sure things will pick up a bit once we get through these first round matches, but we still have EIGHT first round matches to go. That's just too much. And tying up this much time on a cup that looks as silly as that really shows a major lack from the props department. Is this whole thing literally for just a title shot? Dario has stopped random matches to give title shots before. Now he wants to tie up 3 months of TV to reward one? This ranks right at the bottom of Dario ideas.

TL: Quick math shows that they have to go two more weeks for the first round, two more weeks for the second round, then maybe one more week for the third round? So five weeks at least? That’s a lot of tournament to watch, and I love me some tournaments. This might be a chore, though. We’ll get through this, my friend. Together.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 21: Sudden Death

TL: How can Rey see Vampiro? Why do people keep punching mirrors? How can Vampiro get out of his facepaint so quickly? Is that in the budget to just keep breaking mirrors? Why am I looking for logic so much? Is it a reflection on my own search for self-worth?

Nah.

1. Johnny Mundo vs. The Mack

ER: I was a huge fan of All Night Long...Again. The second it finished I immediately started this episode, and I don't think anything in LU has ever made me want to immediately watch another episode right away. I thought the timing of the finish was great and loved that Mundo retained with essentially one second left on the clock. Dario runs it back and makes it Anything Goes, and that was a nice layer to add to everything they went through the prior week. And these two made excellent use of their new stips. The match was filmed two weeks after the iron man and I thought they did a pretty great job of picking the intensity back up from where they left it. They spill to the floor pretty early after Mack catches a Mundo springboard into a stunner. Mack hits a big cannonball into the seats and I loved the visual of Mundo holding up broken chair pieces to shield himself from more attack. Mandel comes out to run interference and we get some nicely integrated parkour as Mundo scrambles up into the upper bleachers to get away from Mack. Sexy Star comes out to get rid of Mandel and she does...I mean...literally the worst double leg takedown anybody has ever seen. I don't even know how Mandel knew to fall down from it. But we get the friends out of the way and Mundo crashes down from the upper levels with a great dive. Finish is pretty sick with Mundo getting a Taya-assisted sunset flip powerbomb onto a bunch of chairs, and Mack falls short again. I like that Mundo keeps retaining, and they keep finding ways to keep the belt on him that seem worthy. I really dug this match, loved the series.

TL: Eric and Phil did a great job talking about the All Night Long match, one of the more surprising matches I can remember watching and definitely the best thing I ever saw Mundo in. I wasn’t a fan of the finish considering there was a couple minute left for Dario to do his explanation. (There’s me looking for logic again. I think I’m failing here.) That being said, I dig the Falls Count Anywhere add-on because that’s gonna guarantee some more Mundo crazy gymnastics and Mack doing something crazy with his size somehow. The match even starts out like I hoped, with both guys trying to end it early because they spent so much time against each other the week before. The Stunner counter in particular was inspired, as was Mack’s realization that even with Johnny rolling to the outside he still had a shot due to the stip. THIS is the type of stuff that made me like LU in the first place, and when they do these things right, it’s still special.

And right on cue, there’s Mack doing something crazy with his size by doing that flip dive into Mundo sitting on chairs. And as Mundo parkours out of trouble into the stands, he does an absolutely insane corkscrew plancha off the edge of the bleachers after some Ricky Mandel interference. Stretch run here was fantastic, as the nearfalls all made sense and weren’t complete overkill, and Taya making her return to help Johnny win plays into how Johnny won the title and was the natural counter to Mack being a better street fight-type guy. Another really well-done match between the two, and Mundo as champ works extremely well. Best thing I’ve seen from LU in a long time.

ER: I think Cueto could have done a *bit* better on that trophy. You can go understated without looking cheap. I expected him to go understated and simple, or big and garish. This cup with the banners or bunting just looked flimsy.

TL: The Cueto Cup seems like it should have horns on it, or dripping with blood, or filled with whiskey. Is also peak Cueto for him to turn on a dime on Matanza for looking weak and giving Rey the title shot against Mundo, but at the same time, if Matanza doesn’t whoop up on Cueto, what the hell are they doing?

2. Aerostar, Fenix & Drago vs. Pindar, Vibora & Kobra Moon

ER: Well, I guess this was what it was. The lizard stable doesn't do much for me, I do not care about their plight. Drago has been falling stock for two seasons now so maybe joining up with the evil lizards will make him more interesting again. I think Pindar/Pain is a great addition to LU as he's an impressive base and can bump big. There were some sloppy set up moments that were just lazy (Pindar on the top rope and the Aerostar just climbing up the ropes and getting onto Pain's shoulders to help with a move) but Aerostar moves like no other wrestler and Pindar is a great guy to have catching him. I really like Fenix and think LU has been his best environment. He matches up here with Vibora who is not someone I'm interested in seeing. Nobody was asking for a lucha Lance Hoyt. But, I enjoyed the sequence of Fenix kicking him off the apron. The trios division feels like it's on a downward trajectory.

TL: Aeorstar’s ridiculous acrobatic offense continues, as his pairing with Pindar showed off some tremendous timing and Pindar’s amazing ability as a base. Then the damn Luchasaurus comes in and, well, it all comes screeching to a halt. I still don’t get how it’s a lucha company and a martinete isn’t illegal, and then they one up it with the Drago re-turn, which had him literally tagging in on Team Reptile while tagging with Aerostar and Fenix. Again, I’m looking for logic and getting nowhere, which seems like I need to just curb that during these reviews.

ER: Mundo backstage segment felt like Mundo, Mandel and Taya were all filmed separately, came off really weird. Mandel would react to things wrong, they kept jumping back and forth from comedy to serious, it all came off odd. But, it was all saved by "There's no time for pants."

TL: To be fair, I don’t like wearing pants when I train either, so I’m squarely on Team Mundo here.

3. Boyle Heights Street Fight: Mil Muertes vs. Prince Puma

ER: These two have had plenty of big time fights, last in a Grave Consequences match. Striker built this as Puma perhaps finally beating Muertes (even though he already beat him earlier this season), but this kind of just continues LU's weird habit of not building to anything very well this season. If Striker is building up "local hero" Puma's final chance at besting Muertes, it's weird that it came as an unannounced match on a show where the big deal was clearly the resolution of Mack/Mundo. They had over a year to make the proper vignettes or do the proper build, this whole match was taped 13 months prior! And the best they can do is have fat zombie Vampiro glower at him occasionally. But whatever, the match was fun because you know these two match up nicely. Puma takes a rough bump through the chairs and gets speared through a table he set up (aint' that always the case?) and does plenty of amusing things, my favorite being hanging onto the stair handrail at its peak, with Muertes trying to throw him over. Puma has some nice comebacks, with a flat out awesome kick jumping off Dario's office wall. Puma always takes Muertes' big powerslams nice, and Muertes took enough damage to make a loss believable, taking a stiff 630 and then taking a freaking brick to the face to finish. I have no interest in where the Vampiro storyline can go, but in a vacuum this match was plenty fun.

TL: One of my favorite pairings in LU hook up again and my expectations are high, especially after Grave Consequences. Scariest part of the first few minutes was when they cut to Vampiro looking at the monitor enjoying the violence and you couldn’t see where his hands were. There is an issue here with doing a similar match to the opener because you have more crowd brawling and it’s getting into ECW territory with going to the well once too many times, but Puma using everything from signs to a shoe for a weapon was top notch. Cueto almost casually telling them to get out of his office was one of the better spots of the match. Striker is very much doing too much trying to get the story over here, and here I thought nobody was yelling in his ear about story points. Don’t know if Puma’s gonna be able to do the flipping Van Terminator on WWE TV as long as Shane-O-Mac is still on screen. Finish was interesting with Puma getting the 630, eating a stone shot, then taking the Vampiro brick and crushing Mil for the win. Just their chemistry alone makes it a good match, but at the same time, there probably wasn’t much else they could do for an encore after Grave Consequences. Obviously going to set up Puma getting another shot at Mundo/Rey because there really isn’t anyone else who could win the Cueto Cup (Plus the Rey title shot at the Cup finals), but at the same time, probably the best matchup that could be done at Ultima Lucha III.



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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 18: Evil Rising

ER: So Matt had another baby because he's crazy, and now his wrestling viewing time is even more limited. For SOME reason he was having a tough time prioritizing season 3 of Lucha Underground. So great friend Tim Livingston will now step in as my THIRD LU writing partner, diving bravely into the middle of a top 3 season of the series. I am grateful.

ER: The romantic in me likes that Mil Muertes is not Catrina's true love. Like there's some guy out there who she was truly in love with but went for Mil because he could help her career/allow her to live for many millenia/give her access to transportive powers. But she lives with the regrets of not jumping off that scary cliff with that other guy, because she knew people would talk, and maybe they'd say he wasn't right for her, that Mil was more in line with her career needs. But this other guy...maybe he made her laugh...maybe they kissed like...really well...maybe they just clicked. And she lives with those regrets, every day.

TL: I see it more like Catrina went to an evil summer camp years ago and had her first kiss and hasn’t had one nearly as good as that one in her life and is destined to relive it over and over. Very much a Wet Hot American Summer type of vibe, but with evil stones and Power Gloves. Mil wondering how Puma didn’t die and finding out it was Vampiro who kept him alive makes this quite the unbelievable story arc. Then again, so does Jeremiah Crane getting with Catrina. Guessing the only thing that’s gonna make her love him is he goes to the vault and shows her his matches against Finlay. That’ll probably just make her love Finlay, though, so who could blame her?

TL: The house band having an electric violin only makes me want to see an electric banjo in a mariachi band.

1. Mariposa vs. Sexy Star

ER: What more can you really say about Sexy Star matches at this point? We've already seen her and Mariposa match up before, seen them team together, they had an I Quit match, and here we still are. Mariposa swinging Star's head into the announce table several times was one of my favorite things to happen in a Star match, but we got plenty of clunky moments as well. My favorite clunky moment was Star throwing a few strange out of position body shots at Mariposa, which Mariposa doesn't even realize she should be selling, and then Star just pauses and hip tosses her. The double stomp finish is a good one, though I don't think I would trust stumbly bumbly Star to not just full force on my spleen. Striker and Vampiro tried to put over the history of these two, but they went out and had a match like "hey, this is who they said I was wrestling tonight". I don't really understand the Moth turn on Mariposa. Is he going to feud with her? Who's the tecnico? Are they writing her out as what else is really left for her? I'd rather see Moth as a big bumping goon against people his own size.

TL: Damn it all, my first match reviewing Lucha Underground and it’s a Sexy Star match? This is quite the initiation process we have here at Segunda Caida. Really can’t wait for the pledging ceremony, where I’ll probably be forced to watch every Tiger Ali Singh/Antonio Inoki match. At least this match is with Mariposa, who is someone I’m betting Star can’t try and get unprofessional with. Man, it’s been a while since I’ve really heard Matt Striker commentary, but his overpronounciation of Spanish accents is extremely grating. Sexy actually throws a nice rana and does a pretty dang good tope con hilo through the middle ropes that Mariposa takes like a champ. Striker says Sexy has the “lucha advantage,” whatever that is. Sexy’s arm looks legit messed up, which means irony is absolutely the theme of this match. Mariposa’s ridiculous inverted Indian Deathlock while kicking Sexy in the head is amazing and someone needs to steal that. I love Cheerleader Melissa so much. Sexy finishes with an alright double stomp, but this match didn’t really have much to it. Marty then comes in afterwards and chokeslams his sister because this show doesn’t have enough male-on-female violence in the first place, I guess.

TL: The Rabbit Tribe gimmick is funny if only because I feel Paul London actually got told to do drugs before coming to the tapings. Would much rather watch Special K matches, though. Although now I’m thinking about watching Low Ki going crazy on Mala Suerte and I’m all about it. Gotta love Mascarita Sagrada curling literally more than his own bodyweight.

2. The Rabbit Tribe (Paul London/Mala Suerte/Saltador) vs. Drago/Pindar/Vibora

ER: This was a bunch of fun, mostly until Vibora got involved with his lizard Lance Hoyt vibes. I really love Pindar's mask, and Steve Pain is awesome. Love the Pindar/Suerte match-up. Cholo was one of the best things about the earlier seasons so it's nice to have him back, and that springboard headscissors was slick. Pindar hits a violent powerslam, but we can never get too far into overdrive as Vibora is always right there waiting to slow things down. Post match Aerostar/Fenix run-in was fun, but they're going to have to get pretty creative to work around luchasaurus. I hope they can find the right balance.

TL: Haven’t seen either Pinda (Steve Pain) or Vibora (Austin Matelson) before, although Striker sells Vibora as a 7-footer (he’s 6’5”) and now I wonder if I can book myself (at 6’3) as the 7-Foot Broadcaster. Lifts probably don’t help at the table. Vibora gets the “Luchasaurus” chant after Drago gets a short showcase spot or two, as he got forced into this match thanks to Kobra Moon’s insistence. The match has some Rabbit Tribe goofiness, although the reptiles do a cool double team big boot/Towerhacker Bomb (one of my favorite moves). Drago almost kills Saltador dead with a flipping neckbreaker to finish. Another match that kinda dragged through the steps towards a finish, mostly thanks to the big guy. I’m with Eric on Pain, though. Dude looked good. Drago gets saved post-match by Fenix and Aerostar, with Aerostar doing some ridiculous acrobatics as per usual, including an outside-in springboard into an assisted Codebreaker. I mean, if you’re gonna go big, at least go as big and ridiculous as possible.

ER: You need the lifts for when we walk out, then you need a phone book on you chair so that the 7' tag plays while sitting down. There you have it. 7 Feet of broadcasting fury!

TL: I’ve worked for two baseball teams in my life and for six years I’ve seen some absolutely ridiculously complex handshakes between teammates, which made the camera work on the handshake between Sexy and Mack look more overchoreographed than the handshake itself, an extremely difficult task. Someone really loves their jump cuts in the editing room.

3. Johnny Mundo vs. The Mack

ER: Fun match with a really poorly executed finish. And I'm not sure when Mack is going to completely tilt all the way into "Al Snow working 1999 WWE tribute spots at minor league baseball stadiums", but doing the stunner and people's elbow are probably way better for his body longterm than flying kicks and moonsaults. I thought this was supposed to be the title match, but instead we get a "winner picks the stipulation for the title match that will air in several months" match. This felt like whatever a touring match would be between these two. I liked Mack's sit out powerbombs, did not like Vampiro honing his Austin Power's impression during the match. That interference at the end took forever. Mack looked like a doofus.

TL: I find it really odd it took so long for Mundo to get the title considering he’s probably easily the most marketable talent they have on the show, but hey, what do I know? It’s not like he got a role on a hit Netflix show or anything. They REALLY play up the racial/socioeconomic difference on commentary and I get really uncomfortable for a moment as Vampiro sticks his foot in his mouth. I loved Mundo’s WWECW singles run, as he did well with the long TV matches, and this is very reminiscent of those. Pretty boy bully athleticism to play to his advantages (he stops himself on a springboard that was really nifty), gives Mack some big moments, and does some good transitions (liked the cat and mouse with the stuff under the ring). Agree with Eric on Mack’s sitout powerbomb, which looked sick and was very Spirit Bomb-esque. Really don’t get Marty Elias taking that much time looking outside the ring, but yeah, that finish took way too damn long. Was really hoping the “All Night Long” stip was a Lionel Richie karaoke contest.

ER: Loved Muertes beating the hell out of Vampiro, but really hoping it doesn't lead to any kind of feud. Still, Muertes needed a cool moment, and coming out just to rush Vampiro felt kinda cool.

TL: Even more than that finish, I REALLY don’t get how Vampiro couldn’t get out of the Flatliner while telling Puma “No!” but dug Muertes whooping up on him nonetheless. You’d think after dealing with Konnan that Puma would have learned his lesson messing with the carniest of luchadors, but man he’s really playing Lucha Sting here to a T. If Vampiro turns on him, he’s got nobody to blame but himself.

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