Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 9: A Match Made in Heaven

ER: This may be an odd question...but was that actually Melissa playing Mariposa in the opening segment with Cueto? Her voice sounded completely different from how I remember her sounding (not merely the absence of her minor speech impediment, her voice just sounded different), and the mask covers enough that I actually have no idea.

TL: Was that…a competent set up for the main event? Like, did they actually lay out the consequences in a cogent manner for us to understand? Wild, man.

Mala Suerte vs. Matanza

ER: So now we've established bunny hop "boings" and speed bags SFX to our LU SFX canon. This was short but nobody died. Suerte hit a great baseball slide dropkick to start, Matanza hit a nice headbutt to cut off bunny hops and hit the Wrath of the Gods. But again, nobody died, which seems important to point out now.

TL: I literally cannot add anything to what Eric said about this match when those SFX were involved. Peak pro wrestling production, that.

Joey Ryan/Jack Evans vs. XO Lishus/Ivelisse

ER: I really liked this, especially as a showcase for Evans and Lishus. I wasn't excited for Joey opposite another woman, but I liked the turn into Joey being a full blown sex addict, just wanting any kind of touch and contact with any human (at minimum, any human). I think him being into getting slammed into XO Lishus' juicy hot ass and liking it is an important thing to happen. Sex addict is far more interesting than overt pervert. Lishus is a ton of fun, a great take on an exotico. The splits legdrop is good, and I also realized with his outfit, butt stuff, splits...he's basically cosplaying as Naomi. That feels like a level of exotico we haven't had in wrestling, an actual drag routine paying tribute to a fan favorite. The cartwheel slap is great with the character, and there was a hilarious moment with he and Evans, where Lishus ducked a clothesline and landed in a crabwalk, Evans overran him with the miss, ran back, but was chased into the corner with a quick burst of crabwalking from Lishus. Evans played it great, the timing was down, a genuinely funny and unique moment played perfectly. They went way too heavy on SFX for Ivelisse, she had a couple weak shots that came off comical with the loud thigh slap sound, but stuff like armdrags and ranas looked fine and she ate Ryan's offense well. Evans is still finding his place without WU, and I hope he's featured more from here now that he's away from WU. But he and Lishus owned here.

TL: I want to be a part of the conversations Joey has had with other folks to try and figure out how he could evolve his character. As Eric said, the climb from pervert to sex addict seems like the natural next step for him and who better to bring it out of him than Lishus, who has the athleticism that makes it look like he can hang with Jack F’n Evans step for step. Evans’ athleticism never ceases to amaze me; his springboard moves look out of control but also look like they kill folks. Yeah, the Lishus/Evans stuff was terrific, which led to the absolutely disgusting finish with the omoplata that really looked like a chokeout as opposed to all the other loosely applied MMA finishes you’d see in wrestling today. Stoked to see this get a longer feud, too. Ryan and Ivelisse were definitely in this match.

Mariposa vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: This was so short and really a nothing match. It was presented as an obstacle for Azteca but he didn't have too much trouble with Mariposa. It's a Lucha Underground update on an old early 90s Wrestling Challenge squash match. In one of those matches the enhancement talent would maybe get a dropkick or a couple elbows that get no sold. In a Lucha Underground squash match the enhancement talent still gets to break out a Kudo Driver moments after taking a huge 450 splash. The times they are a changin'.

TL: Love the foul to start the match during the belt presentation, love the kick to the inside of the thigh even more. Also love how in 2018, a 450 splash and a fucking KUDO DRIVER get 2.9s, but crossing the legs on a rolling prawn hold? Can’t get out of that, no siree. But hey, I’ve never wrestled before, so I don’t understand psychology, I guess.

The Reptile Tribe vs. Worldwide Underground

ER: So Striker says that Vibora is "striking in his absence" meaning nobody else knows about Vibora's death, but you'd think his absence would be focused on a lot more if that was the case. Instead they're just immediately cool with lizard Jeremiah Crane being the replacement. Also, could we have maybe done a little better than Jeremiah Snake? Here are a few off the top of my head with similar vocal patterns: Jereboa Crane, Jereviper Crane, Jereconda Crane. They aren't rhymes, but the syntax is the same as his original name and they roll off the tongue similarly. Or, they could have embraced their ridiculous side and further have their cake and eat it too, and he could have been Janaconda Cobrane. Also, I like that even in a rare 4 on 4 match, Ricky Mandel still isn't good enough to make the cut. I want them do have a 10 man tag to see if he has a shot at getting some playing time.

And I really liked this match. It was the right amount of fun and action, and really the fed should run more 8 man tags. I've gotten tired of their go to singles match style, but throw any 8 people from the roster in a ring and they should all have enough material to work a fun 10 minute match. You get less reliance on kickouts and more reliance on saves at that point, and a well timed save is more exciting to me than a big kickout. We get a ton of big dives, some complicated (like Kobra Moon getting launched into everyone by Jeremiah) and a couple impressive Aerostar ones, and a huge cannonball into everyone by Jeremiah. The pacing was kept brisk, and the whole thing was kept light which is a good thing because serious matches typically feature Striker reading a bunch of lousy copy about the Fates of Worlds and the Calamity of Man. The post-match worked for me too, even though the Macho Man stuff was all really obvious, I loved the Pomp and Circumstance playing while Mundo had Taya up on his shoulder. Taya's reaction to the proposal was good and as I've been wondering the past couple weeks this surely throws WU into full babyface, which isn't a bad twist. I somehow didn't notice the relevance of the episode title, which now seems like it should be saved for the inevitable wedding episode of LU, and I also somehow foolishly never considered a wedding episode for LU. We're well over 100 episodes at this point, and if we actually want to pretend that this is an actual TV series and not wrestling, then we're already into syndication and we're overdue for a wedding and a baby. We've already gotten to the point of the show where it's consistently going downhill from its peak, so now we need a couple of classic ratings poppers!

TL: The graphic leading into this match looks like it was made for an ECW TV main event in 1997, which is terrific. Big wet fart for the return of Crane as part of the Reptile Tribe. Don’t care enough to even make fun of the name. Aerostar wearing the bandana over his mask is as goofy looking as Klay Thompson wearing the bandana during his 14 3-pointer game last week, which means I love it. Vibora had been getting better so I’m a bit sad he’s not a part of this, because this seems like the type of match where he’d really stand out.

More wild atomicos match than I would have thought with this set up, as I figured there would be more pairing off than a whole bunch of dives, but they wanted a frenetic pace from the start. PJ Black’s hot tag that began with a bunch of first week training offense after the springboard was amusing. Nothing like armdrags and shoulder blocks to fire things up. The more I hear “Jeremiah Snake” the more I cringe. He also gets a lot of the match here, which is disappointing. Would have loved to see more Moon and Drago, especially considering Aerostar was brought in specifically because of his past with Drago. Instead, Drago gets to watch Aerostar hit his second ridiculous dive of the match and then take the fall. Postmatch was actually cool for the fakeout, Johnny being magnanimous, and the two-bit Savage aping. It was ELIZABETH who did the “Ooooohh yeah” part, man. C’mon. I’m not sure what wedding day shenanigans will occur to hold it up before it actually happens, but I’ve been entertained by WU skits to the point where I’d at least enjoy it. Can’t remember too many happy RobRod movie marriages, but maybe they’ll make an exception here.

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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 8: The Ranks of the Reptiles

TL: Vampiro (and Striker) Fashion Update: Alumni of perhaps the worst frat ever, and that covers some ground. I have no idea why they decided an announce team needed letterman jackets, but here we are, with an old corner and an overweight defensive end reliving the glory days.

Daga vs. "The Darewolf" PJ Black

ER: This was one of those matches that got a lot of time, and was instantly forgotten the moment it was over. Both guys are okay but are lifeless. I forget why Daga is one of the lizard people, but what immediately struck me as strange about this match was that Black was clearly working as heel, while Daga was getting the babyface comebacks. This was the case in the Mundo/Vibora match, and I get that Worldwide Underground are heels....but the other team are LIZARD PEOPLE. There has not been a single piece of science fiction literature where trusting a race of lizard people has lead to prosperity. LU keeps making things so much more shades of grey, that we're now rooting for Lizard People over a group of people who are just vaguely dickheadish. I thought a lot of Black's flying looked bad here, a lot of it being rejected AJ Styles offense with distance not figured out. That quebrada DDT rarely looks good, and there was a funny spot where Black goes for a springboard moonsault off the top, Daga moves a few inches, and Black misses him by a couple feet. Daga is like the least memorable "That kind of guy" in wrestling. I've watched a couple dozen Daga matches, and damned if I can remember watching a couple dozen Daga matches. That guy is wallpaper, but wallpaper that does a couple fast rope running spots and some kick combos. The moments I liked best here were when Black was grounded, and just landing decent punches, nice forearms smashes, and eyepokes. That kind of stuff looks good, he does it well, and it's far more interesting than seeing that stupid as hell sunset flip reversal of a top rope rana, or seeing Daga take the most scenic trip possible to roll into a crucifix submission. This kind of thing is one of my least favorite things.

TL: A minute into the match, Black misses his quebrada, but doesn’t really sell it, just stays on his hands and knees waiting for Daga to hit the ropes and dropkick him. And it’s not edited. There’s a lot of smooth cutaways to awkward camera angles to hide some missteps, but even then, it’s not enough to save it. Daga is truly lucha Noam Dar, an elite athlete with good looking offense who has very little clue to put on a cohesive wrestling match. At least Dar is good on Twitter. Everything in this match seemed like a chore. The finish was overly elaborate. The postmatch was…whatever. Striker calls either Morrison or Black Mike Trout. Pretty sure Kobra messed up on her promo. That sure was a 10-minute wrestling segment. I kinda want an oral history of that segment because I guarantee the editing process on that whole thing is probably the toughest job in the history of the show.

And now after the match The WU clears the ring like total babyfaces and then are portrayed in the promos after as the good guys, which, again, makes sense because the other people are an evil LIZARD TRIBE. It's a having cake and eating it situation. A lot of WU work better as heels, and they are heels, and a lot of the lizards aren't good at working heel, so they have naturally worked face against WU...it's just that none of it actually makes sense.

ER: I really wouldn't mind a return of ghost Big Ryck. We really only saw him against smaller flippy guys, and it would be cool to see him take on some of the bigger LU dudes. Only as a ghost, I guess.

TL: Mack apparently has never ridden Pirates of the Caribbean to prepare him for seeing Big Ryck’s skull (with a cigar sticking out of it, no less; where’s the damn crow perched atop it?) Although him saying, “Damn, woman. They need to put a bell on you or something!” when Katrina appeared got a chuckle out of me.

The Rabbit Tribe vs. Killshot/Son of Havoc/The Mack

ER: I really liked the Rabbit Tribe portions of this, but at a certain point it became the Killshot show and it didn't grab me the same. Remember what I've said this season about how they seem to be focusing on the guys I like least? That's definitely a running theme. I guess that theme has always been around in LU - we got an awful lot of triumphant Sexy Star moments - but this season seriously feels like you can take my "least want to see this guy featured" performer in any given match, and that's the guy that's getting gushed about by Striker. There's just too much pout and pomp to make Killshot work for me, and an reliance on strikes that only work with classic LU sound sweetening. Killshot was by far the most featured guy of the champs, though Havoc hit a nice dive down the stretch, Mack hit a big ol' bullfrog splash. London and Saltador looked great though. London is fully reenergized, throwing everything he has explosively, snapping kicks and adding in a headbutt, missing as big as he hits. Saltador is so smooth and always pulls out a new trick, and I loved his fast tope con hilo here. Really this fed just needs to turn into a kick punch fed. That would be more edgy than stacked tower powerbomb spots in 2018.

TL: Vampiro with an all-time out there call in this match, going all “Gangs of New York” references and then talking about how Mala Suerte is a vegan and that’s why he’s moving around so well. Then he tries to rename a Samoan Drop. Then he and Striker plug Modelo. London’s outfit has a sparkly codpiece. How does THAT not come up? Don’t know why we need a Tower of Doom spot in 2018 still. Don’t know why we need Killshot getting featured when Mack is right there. Mala Suerte at least throwing some sweet shots. Saltador with a nice somersault plancha. London, as per usual, bumps around well. Nice Havoc tope. HEAVY as hell Mack splash. Killshot steals the pin and I’m supposed to care, I guess. Sure. Reaaallllly struggling not to just keep pushing the fast forward button.

Cage/King Cuerno vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: I really didn't need to see Pentagon working a 0.8 vintage HHH match. Pentagon would have had to win this thing for him to be working full Haitch, but he is just not a squash match worker who looks credible against these two. Hats off especially to Cage for stumbling around the ring getting into perfect position for everything, taking a lunatic flipping piledriver, taking a slingblade on his neck, catching a flip dive perfectly, and Cuerno was right there with him. I think Cuerno is the only guy I've ever seen manage to drop on his head while taking a backcracker. Pentagon does look back, he just doesn't look as good as either of the two guys he was mostly having no problems handling. My favorite moment of the match might have been Cuerno throwing a nice low knee in the corner while the ref wasn't watching, but damn Cage throwing Pentagon into a Cuerno kneelift would be a great Destruction Crew type finisher that would result in a million dollar jobber payout. There was plenty of cool stuff here on the Cuerno/Cage side of things, but MAN am I not wanting any more steps towards Triple Penta.

TL: Jeeeesus. Pentagon handling Cage like he did was a bit hard to swallow, and now he’s in a damn handicap match with Cuerno? This is truly Kenny Omega IWGP Champ level-stuff here. Just right down our throats without even a tap on the top of the head to prepare us. Penta at least isn’t lazy in this, but he also isn’t enthralling, either. One of my favorite things in wrestling is when makeshift tag teams find a way to throw out some good double team offense, and yeah, that lift into the knee was great stuff. I think if Penta had won this, I would have asked Eric if we could have skipped ahead to the point where he lost the belt, spoilers be damned.

TL: Eric no-selling the ending skit, which is Mundo dressed like Indiana Jones, saying how much he hates snakes, and then going to the Snake Pit to take on the Reptiles, where Taya cuts off the head of the Luchasaurus. This is so unbelievably bad that it’s probably the best skit in LU history, too. For THIS episode to end THIS way is either the world’s biggest heat check or the writing team crossing the last crazy idea they had off their list and tapping out. Guess this is the Year of Murder on Lucha Underground. Man, I miss Pindar.

ER: So what happened, was I sent my draft to Tim but accidentally didn't copy the part where I actually acknowledged a very tall lizard getting beheaded. Go figure, that Vibora has the best couple appearances of his career, and now he's dead. All the babyfaces on this show seem fine with murder at this point, why didn't any of them have these flexible morals when Sexy Star was still around? Also, can someone murder Pentagon? I'm tired of seeing him.


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 36: The Rise of the Ring Announcer

ER: I really liked the opening Melissa Santos/Fenix segment, a lot. It came off like an updated take on Girlfight or something. The prior romantic scenes between Fenix/Santos came off silly, this came off downright steamy, like the George Clooney/Jennifer Lopez scenes in Out of Sight, or the Timothee Chalamet/Armie Hammer scenes in Call Me By Your Name. I thought their body language was really strong, loved the interplay of submissions, loved the sparring and grappling as metaphor for relationship dynamics, that gentle hair flop onto Fenix's face, thought all of it worked tremendously well. Now, if you think of it out of a vacuum it gets weirder, as you realize that Melissa Santos is going to be in the ring wrestling for the first time ever and they only announced it at the beginning of the episode where that was happening, and then you start thinking "Wait these two are locking in these tight go behinds and she's letting her hair seductively flop all over Fenix's face and...she hasn't even seen his face? This all seemed pretty intimate. It feels like they've been hanging out. And this whole time, during meals, during dates, during post training showers...Fenix has not removed that mask? How terrible must that mask smell?? Santos has let herself grow dangerously, emotionally close to a man who may have a Monster energy tattoo on his forehead for all she knows. But that's what thinking gets you. Follow your heart. The segment was good.

TL: I can’t even begin to top what Eric just said so my only addition to this, whether it was good editing or camera cuts or what have you, is that Santos looked like she could go!!! I all of a sudden am into whatever that tag match is gonna be. This was one of the best examples of female empowerment the show has ever portrayed because this was natural as opposed to shoved down our throats like Sexy Star was. Santos came off as a big deal with this, which is what wrestling promos are supposed to do!

Dante Fox vs. Texano

ER: I liked this more than I expected, and it's true that Fox is typically more interesting when he's against more of a power base than another athletic flipper. Texano can get really lazy during routine moments, looking like a somnambulist going through simple sequences like a lazy clothesline/back elbow sequence, but he excels here at making Fox look strong. When a guy throws a lazy clothesline you wouldn't expect him to throw himself into a crucifix bomb, and Texano is good at working around fast Fox sequences, like all of the stuff on the apron that eventually lead to the run-up-ringpost moonsault. The match was a good Worldwide length of 5-6 minutes, and even though it got too move trade-y down the stretch I was pleasantly surprised overall. Famous B botches (in storyline) the ending and calls Texano the winner, so Dario sets up B vs. Texano for next week. B says his arm is still broke from Pentagon and Dario FINALLY gets a classic Dario line in (feels like it's been WAY too long) when he says "Well then it looks like it will be a...handicap match!" Pure gold. Dario hasn't felt fully "Dario" this season, and comes off really ineffective and less the all powerful manipulator. That line was needed.

TL: Striker makes a “Clerks” joke (“I’m not even supposed to be here today”) because of Dante and not only does it make me feel old but reminds me that Kevin Smith almost died mere days ago. I thought this was alright, but not a standout or anything. Fox doing a faceplant on an enzuigiri was amusing and then became even moreso when he just went back on offense after taking a bump that looked like it would have killed him. I’ve talked about how Texano has basically looked disinterested ever since when he first came to LU with Alberto Del Rio and was used to put him over not only in LU, but in AAA, so this really does feel like he’s collecting a paycheck at this point. Agree with the line usage, but in Dario’s defense, he was in jail, man. He’s seen some shit. Just not the same guy anymore.

Marty "The Moth" Martinez/Mariposa vs. Fenix/Melissa Santos

ER: Still really surprised that this match wasn't announced at all in advance. Do they advertise? Maybe they advertise and this was announced. It feels like a pretty big match within the LU universe. And it was really fun, although after all the wins and big moments they gave to Sexy Star it's ridiculous that they can't give Santos a good moment. Moth has been licking and rubbing on her for a couple seasons now, and while she's a non-wrestler that never stopped Sexy Star from wrestling. Give her a fucking pinfall, who are we protecting here? Anyway Fenix works a nice match against the two, including hitting an actual good looking Lethal Injection and hitting a wild twisting dive to the floor. Santos getting into the match was a great moment, with Moth running into a perfectly timed high kick from the apron and the gets Irish whipped into elbow smashing Mariposa. The tandem offense didn't look great but the moment was still good.

TL: This WAS announced in advance, but Eric, much like me when I’m trying to burn through reviews, most likely fast-forwarded past the 20-second mention of it from a couple weeks ago by Striker and Vampiro. So…what I’m trying to say is that Eric made the right decision in skipping past how this match got announced in the first place. Striker says Fenix has a “legendary mask” like he’s Atlantis or something. Mariposa is so sudden with her offense, it’s amazing to think she’s been doing this for two decades. One thing in addition to Melissa doing the job in this match: There’s now absolutely no doubt that Marty is gonna lose. Had Melissa gotten a pin on Mariposa, at least you could have seen a more level playing field. Melissa’s offensive moments were definitely cool, but the way this ended was a bit too much.

ER: We get a rundown of the epic card for the 4 episode (!) Ultima Lucha extravaganza, which should make for plenty of fun. Although how absolutely ridiculous does Ivelisse vs. Catrina look at this point?? The last Ivelisse match aired 6 months before this episode, and Catrina has never wrestled in the fed. Does anyone watching even remember why they made that match?

TL: It’s a huge card, but to be honest, I’m really only looking forward to the main event, the cage match, and the Fox/Killshot match. There’s gonna be a lot of filler for me to get into.

Paul London vs. Mala Suerte vs. Saltador vs. Cortez Castro vs. Drago vs. Son of Havoc vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: This was a pretty cracking spotfest, one of the best Drago performances in awhile, a continuation of Paul London as an extremely relevant wrestler after a few years in the woods, some great Saltdaor stuff, just a ton of fun. Drago was the centerpiece of this whole thing, either tying things together and finding things to occupy time. I loved him sprinting across the ring after London leading to London doing his bananas springboard tope en reversa to the floor. he easily could have just stood there doing nothing since London was going to do the spot anyway, this made things feel more immediate. Saltador got some nice moments and I especially loved him getting backdropped into London (who was slumped in the corner). We got a couple big dives, everybody moved in and out of it smoothly, a couple nice saves, just a fun spotfest. We do get a dumbo ending with Havoc and Pentagon getting simultaneous pinfalls, but Dario comes out to announce a ladder match between the two, which is fine.

TL: I like that this match was basically laid out like an atomicos or a cibenertico, as it never really let up and gave everyone some shine. If you’re gonna do a damn seven way, you might as well take advantage and sprint. And yeah, they sprint, big time. London looks great in this match, like a true Droog. I wish he would talk shit in Cockney gibberish slang between moves. But my guy in this match? Saltador. All his offense looked crisp as all hell. He had this great springboard legdrop that looked snug when it landed and he had a great dive. Also looked great taking down Pentagon to start. I don’t like the ending either, a true bait and switch bullshit ending, but we got to see Dario yell “LADDER MATCH!” in a way that made me smile. He must have known tapings were winding down, man. He went for it in this episode.

ER: I love all the backseat of a limo scenes with Dario, and they're only better with Godfrey. I don't know who they can get to be the cigar smoking boss, but considering the programming on El Rey can we PLEASE make it Fred Williamson? We all know everyone in power is a rich old white man, so LU needs to flip the script and present us a rich old black man as the one in charge. If it's Fred Williamson I will happily go back and watch every second of every single Sexy Star moment, and not complain.

TL: Fred Williamson is awesome, but considering he’s done voiceovers for WWE highlight packages before, I’d look at the budget and just not pull ANY punches: KEITH. DAVID. MAKE IT HAPPEN, CHAVO. I NEED Keith on this show, man. Also, I love how in the span of two mintues, Dario adds two more matches I’m actually fine with for Ultima Lucha in the three-way and the ladder match. He might be getting it back just in time for the biggest show of the year, baby.


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 34: Career Opportunities

ER: Slapbak is pretty much the house band at this point. Vampiro is trying to bang the girl in Slapbak, isn't he. Future Lucha Underground champion: Girl from Slapbak.

TL: Slapbak is no Tsunami Bomb, man. I’m all about Lucha Underground champion Emily Whitehurst, man. And then have Kristin McRory, mega-babyface, come after her for the belt. She can even be Agent M! This concludes our Petaluma, CA Phoenix Theater-based punk rock references for this review.

Drago vs. The Mack

ER: I thought Mack was really great in this. His armdrags and rollthroughs were really impressive, his throws look great, his demeanor is impressive. This is probably a really obvious observation, but this match just really opened my eyes to how underutilized Mack has been in LU. I know we've seen him used in higher profile spots, but we've mainly seen him as Sexy Star's best bud, and playing second fiddle to Sexy Star is just way below his level. The way he carried himself in this match made him feel bigger than most guys in the fed. I thought the ending was about as weak as you can get, though, with Drago hitting a dashed off kick combo and winning with his sloppiest ever rolling crucifix.

TL: A Mack showcase match that ends with seriously weak shenanigans to end the match leaves a sour taste in my mouth, no matter if he gets his heat back in the end. It’s obvious that he has basically found his niche as he has a true confidence to him that he didn’t have before. I have absolutely no idea how he hasn’t gotten any other ways to shine since the Johnny Mundo feud, and that’s one of the issues with such heavily pre-produced TV. You can’t really change things up midseason like that. Too bad. It’s almost like they have to wait until Season 4 to do something with him, and there, it might be too late.

Five-O Street Fight: Joey Ryan vs. Cortez Castro

ER: I'm already unexcited about this match, and almost immediately Striker has to turn it into a political statement, just wanting to make sure those boys in blue know that "some of us" really appreciate what they do for us. What a piece of shit. Vomiting all over a show with shoehorned references and blatantly overscripted jokes is one level of dogshit, but outing yourself as an All Lives Matter asshole is an even deeper ditch. I will just mute Striker for the rest of this. On mute these two do a pretty great job with a pretty goofy concept. I mean the idea that Dario just lets Castro still wrestle after finding out he is a cop trying to bring him down is just ridiculous. Dario has had far lesser people murdered just for not winning a wrestling match. But they make a body cavity spot more amusing than I would have thought, Joey breaks a riot shield with his head, Castro misses a crossbody and crashes through a riot squad guy, they do a well done missed sledgehammer shot into a cop car, Joey gets hot coffee dumped down his trunks, Castro smartly uses a riot shield to give him stronger shoulderblocks (I mean that really is a smart spot), a bunch of not-overly-clever moments. I actually think this was the best of the non-Muertes props fights in the series history, and I was NOT expecting that on paper.

TL: Cortez Castro being billed as from “The Streets” is laughably bad. Then Striker says his piece on respecting the police and I really want to reach through the TV and slap the taste out of his mouth. As the only one who watched this match with audio working, I can only add that the racial undertones of a Latino/Caucasian matchup surrounded by “police” on the outside was alluded to on commentary, and I’m ready to fast forward. Screw a mute. Vampiro asks Matt what he’d do in this match and I almost expect him to say, “Ask a cop to help.” Oh, wait. THEY HAVE SIRENS ON TOP OF THE RINGPOSTS. I’M LOSING IT. The setting for this match is such a damper on the match itself that it’s hard to really review it. Then Striker says he wishes folks would fight more in person than on Twitter and I’m out on this. Thankfully, we’re coming to the end of this one, and the match starts being louder than Striker on commentary. Lot of simple stuff looking really good. WHY DOES THE RAT COP WIN???? This was sure something else. I don’t know if I enjoyed it as much as Eric did on mute, which means I’m making terrible life choices.

The Rabbit Tribe vs. Matanza

ER: I would really love a London/Matanza singles match given 10-12 minutes. This was more messy than that made up match would have been, but that's to be expected in a 3 on 1 match where 3 of the people are on LSD. Cobb isn't really a bulldozer in the same way Andre was, so I don't think 3 on 1 is a situation that plays to his monster strengths. 1 on 1 throwing a guy around looks much cooler. He's already a shorter guy (though obviously stocky as hell) so 3 on 1 tends to dwarf him. I did really like the Tribe's rabid rapid rabbit dropkicks in the corner, just all running in on top of each other throwing dropkick after dropkick. It looked like a video of a bunch of bunnies just jumping all over each other in a pen. Still, I wish they gave London more of a platform to shine. After his quality big bumping miracle work in the year and a half long Cueto Cup, I think he's someone who could really shine when motivated. Give him goof off leash, and he'll take it and run. Treat him like an actual guy and he may still work big.

TL: Some cute stuff, but nothing overly great. I think it would have been cool to see this like a gauntlet like the Lotus stuff earlier in the season, but this should have had way more Matanza crazy power stuff to it. Instead, it was oddly more of a Rabbit Tribe showcase. If Festus can get off the craziness and go straight edge, Paul London can, too. Okay, maybe I wasn’t done making Phoenix Theater-related references in this review.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 30: Bloodlines

1. Paul London/Mala Suerte/Saltador vs. Ricky Mandel/Taya/PJ Black

ER: This is just the goofy mess it should have been. Rabbit Tribe kept trying a bunch of silly double teams, with some of them working and some not (which, due to their gimmick, some of their stuff really shouldn't work all the time), but they're approaching it the right way. I usually dislike the "man wrestler turned on by woman wrestler" spots, but I was amused by London diving to get in the way of a potential Taya bronco buster. Maybe it just felt like he fully committed to the spot, really gleefully wanting it. So I suppose charm and committment is the key to making assault funny! I dug Jack Evans' sign ("If I was in the match we would have won by now") and Mala Suerte hits a kind of tornillo dive from the apron over the ringpost. This was fine.

TL: Wait, did Striker seriously say about Paul London, “He took the pill that made him bigger?” Like, he accused him of doing steroids or something? And then he immediately redeems himself by dropping WINK MARTINDALE’S name, which I know popped Eric like it did me. Just wait till I help turn SC into a “High Rollers” blog. We’re really close to becoming a Supermarket Sweep blog, anyways. On to the match, which is indeed a Rabbit Tribe trios match. The aforementioned Taya corner spot sure is something. Jack Evans as a character in a Looney Tunes episode with his signs is right up my alley. Enjoyable to say the least, as Rabbit Tribe has found a way to make the goofiness work. In the postmatch skit, really wish Evans had his whiteboard with him.

2. Jeremiah Crane vs. Mil Muertes

ER: YES! This was the match I was waiting for. After hearing all season from people who attended the tapings that "this season was the craziest yet" I have now spent 29 episodes being mostly disappointed. And it wasn't due to high expectations, the action just seems nowhere near as good as the first season. This match felt like the closest we've come to the best brawls of the series. I just love Mil in these crowd brawls. He's bigger than the guys we typically see moving through the crowds, so these shots from above feel more like helicopter shots of Godzilla wrecking everything in his path. The match starts at the top of the temple steps and there might not be anybody better than Crane at violently flying through rubble. He can bring violence, but he's best at inviting violence onto his own person. Muertes throws him through the bleachers, brutally through the chairs, in a fun moment he flapjacks Crane on the stairs' handrail and Crane slides all the way down to the floor bent at the waist. Muertes is a beast, and as he beat Crane with meaty fists I actually liked Stryker pointing out "this is why middleweights typically don't fight heavyweights". Crane goes for his bottom ropes tope and Muertes literally doesn't budge, Crane just bounces off of him. We get a bunch of chairs involved including hard shots to the side of the head and nasty spills into them. In an absolutely nuts spot Crane sets up a table on the floor and takes too long leering at Catrina, allowing Mil to come crashing to the floor with a spear. And the spear doesn't actually break the table! Crane goes flying and Muertes just bulls grossly into the table, later slamming Crane through the bent up table. Crane doesn't go down easy and I wouldn't expect him to and didn't want him to, and we get an appropriate amount of violence. This was everything I wanted out of it.

TL: So this match is supposed to be one of the highlights of this season from what I heard coming in, but that’s really all I heard. No specifics. This has also had a nice little build and is the first thing I saw when starting up these reviews with Eric. The fact it starts with Mil jumping Crane from behind during his entrance makes it stand out immediately. Then, they just absolutely beat the crap out of each other from that moment on, and as much as I’m hot and cold on Crane, when he decides to bump big and sell, he’s as good as anyone on the planet. This match basically requires it since Mil wants revenge for the cheap win earlier in the season, so Crane is from underneath and takes a great beating. The bottom rope tope suicida where Crane just bounces off Muertes is one of the best spots I’ve seen in quite a while. Muertes no-selling the spit chop gets a pop from me, and an even bigger pop when Crane readies the cannonball only for Muertes to freight train him. I mean, this is an absolute mauling by Muertes. Considering what we had seen Crane do in the tourney matches before this, it’s as if the bookers made this match to force him to sell. The best thing this match does is reinforce that Crane just keeps coming forward, but you just can’t do that against Mil, and when he goes down from the chair shots, it’s a big deal considering what Crane had absorbed all match. Then, as Eric mentioned with the table, Crane got a bit too happy he was finally on offense and took that nasty bump through the table off the spear. And then another powerbomb through the half-broken table. Crane’s comeback with the choke and then the cannonball through the table was well earned, but good lord almighty, THIS is the Crane I want. Mil Muertes is amazing. One of the best matches in LU history, and while the All Night Long match was definitely surprising in a way that made it better than it probably was, this match is right there with it, maybe even more so.

TL: FBI agent coming into Cueto’s office and it ISN’T Burt Macklin? No dice.

3. Texano vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: This was fine considering the dropped stock of both guys (for my personal viewing), and I'm happy Pentagon advanced as I actually could have seen something ridiculous like Texano advancing to the finals. The Famous B stuff feels far too distracting considering they have seemingly been involving Pentagon in "serious" angles. So having him out in a serious fight with Brenda screaming at ringside for most of the match feels off. But I liked the horseshoe finish and Pentagon made the punch count. The arm breaking stuff is pretty stupid at this point, and having Pentagon break Brenda's arm to a huge babyface reaction makes a lot of the "under-advantaged women fighting for themselves" stuff they've done seem pretty pointless (if it hadn't already felt that way). Sexy Star has taken up too much time on TV being "a superhero to abused girls everywhere", and a bunch of dudes still jumping up and down while Brenda screams in pain seems like we went through countless bad segments for nothing. But I guess it's kewl because Pentagon has zero fear? I'm glad he was able to finally stand up to Brenda.

TL: I guess they had to figure out a way for Texano to basically go 50/50 with Dark considering how he was booked in the tourney, but this match didn’t really do much of anything for me considering they had to get Famous B and Brenda involved. Have no idea why Pentagon of all people needs to be winning a match with a foreign object, but that’s what this match ended with. (I agree that it was a good shot, though.) Just one of those matches that advanced nothing. Postmatch was disturbing and rendered Sexy Star pointless, so at least that happened.

TL: Eric absolutely no-selling the amulet stuff with Katrina that’s obviously a rip-off of Legends of the Hidden Temple is beyond me. Considering he’s the only person I know who loved that show more than me, I would have at least expected a Purple Parrots reference or something.


ER: We are now slowly transitioning into a Legends of the Hidden Temple/Supermarket Sweep blog. Gotta do a crowd opinion poll and see how many people would be down for show reports. We can count how many awkward high fives occur between the pre-teen members of the opposite sex, chart the disappointment on partners faces when they get stuck with a dummy partner on the Steps of Knowledge, report on Kirk Fogg's improv abilities as he stretches for time while interviewing contestants about their crystal horse collection....this feels like a dangerous suggestion.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 22: The Cup Begins

TL: Would have really enjoyed a leadup episode of Bracketology into the Cueto Cup, where you could have brought on upstarts and underdogs and gave them some screen time. Get Vinnie Massaro to talk about how Sicily needs a big win and show off his favorite pizza recipes. Maybe have King Cuerno show off a trophy buck from his latest hunting excursion. Show Sexy Star training on how not to injure someone legit doing a cross-armbreaker. I would have gladly watched 45 minutes of that.

Instead, it’s probably the biggest brand made star in the company doing a walk on-screen return instead of being in the ring, flexing his healed arm and slinging catchphrases. Really odd way to bring Pentagon Dark back, especially given he’s basically one of a handful of folks who actually should have the title in the company at this point.

TL: Should also be mentioned that Vampiro is dressed like he just got done playing 18 holes at his retirement community’s muni course, complete with horizontal striped polo and horn-rimmed glasses. Now I need to go watch “Mr. Hole-In-One” Barry Darsow on some WCW syndicated TV.

1. Mala Suerte vs. The Mack

ER: This felt like a chubby version of a Nitro era lucha match, and that's a fine thing to be. And that's a good thing, I was in the mood for that kind of popcorn match, and the first round of a pretty silly tournament for an even sillier cup seems like the best place for it. I liked the opening armdrag exchanges, they felt like older exchanges you don't see a lot anymore, Cholo rolling off Mack's back, doing the drags low and quick. Mack is obviously going to be a guy advancing in the cup, so the finish was never in doubt, but considering that they threw out a couple more nearfalls than I expected. Suerte's senton is really over in the building (the one where he jumps off the top and runs across the ring to land it) and if you're going to have silly signature offense I'd rather watch a nice senton than the worm. Mack busts out some nice stuff, especially crazy is him catching Suerte and lifting him all up and around his body before hitting a driver. That's some Cobb strength right there, and Suerte isn't a small dude.

TL: I’m with Eric. I’m definitely here for portly lucha armdrag sequences. I am DEFINITELY not here for Matt Striker saying “Shades of Tenryu!” though. Suerte’s offense is really great, and I was half expecting that senton to be that splash that one Dragon Gate guy does where he leaps off the top rope, lands on his feet, and then leaps again to finish the splash, but this works, too. I’m also a big fan of a Crucifix Driver, as it looks absolutely devastating when thrown correctly. Still think it’s odd that with an offensive repetoire like Mack’s that he finishes with a stunner, but credit Cholo for bumping big on the offense, at least. Glad he got some offense in, too. Definitely fits in on the lucha Nitro matches, would be a fine WCW Pro main event, as well.

ER: I'm a big fan of cartoon CGI lightning, so Cage's lightning infused power glove gets the full point from me. I want him to punch through somebody's body with it.

TL: Think it’s awesome that Dario has a Glove Guy, and now that I’ve seen the lightning in action, they really should have gone full Infinity Gauntlet with it and have gems that make it do weird stuff.

2. Argenis vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: Dang this was good. This is easily the best Argenis performance (would you believe that if you've made it this far, you will have already seen 15 Argenis matches!?!?) and the first time Pentagon has looked interesting since the ninja battle episode. Argenis takes a bunch of great Psychosis bumps from leg kicks, really getting knocked around the ring by Pentagon. You think this is going to be a one sided annihilation, which would make sense. I just pointed out that we have seen 15 Argenis matches on LU and there's a good chance most of you couldn't name a favorite Argenis memory. So it's the opening round of the Cup, obviously Pentagon is going to advance, and you don't expect much from Argenis. But then he gets a nice rana and a nice moonsault to the floor. Pentagon is obviously too much for him, as he runs into too many kicks, gets suplexed violently into the turnbuckles, gets a decent nearfall off a big neckbreaker, basically justifies his appearances up to this point. I expected nothing from this match and Argenis made it mean a little something, and Pentagon actually came off cool for the first time in ages. I think now we actually have Pentagon Dark, and before we were getting Pentagon Baja Blast or Pentagon Gamer Fuel.

TL: Basically an extended squash for Pentagon, really throwing out all the kicks he can in his offensive repertoire and saving the really good offense for Reseda, I’m guessing. Argenis DOES get some neat stuff in, as the timing on the Asai Moonsault was fantastic and that convoluted hammerlock neckbreaker at least looked cool. Dark really has the Fear Factor down to a devastating degree, as he always makes it look nasty. Agree that it was a great Argenis performance in bumping, and the months off occurred when Dark started really making his rounds on the indy scene, so you could tell he came back looking and feeling more like a big deal and it showed.

3. Texano vs. Famous B

ER: Brenda keeps getting more and more "produced" every time she appears. I don't like it. It's like they keep having her do loud and poor Harley Quinn impressions and give her way too many scripted lines to shout. Texano's powerbomb looked good.

TL: Have a soft spot for Famous B, so him taking a big powerbomb in full “first time in Texas and this is what I bought at the first Western store I could find” regalia makes it in to the win column for me. Still don’t get what they’re trying to do with Texano at this point.

TL: Actually dug the take on Mysterio/Mundo 24/7 or what have you, complete with dude with heavy British accent doing the voiceover. Whoever made the final graphic needs to know how vectors work, though, and I totally buy Dario going into his budget to really push the match because he’s such a great promoter.

ER: Michael Schiavello is just about the biggest No Buys guy you can get with me. I think his commentary is genuinely terrible.

4. Drago vs. Aerostar

ER: This didn't really work. I don't care about the lizard people, but I do think working as a defined rudo is a better move for Drago, makes his stuff have some context. But this whole thing was just poorly constructed. Aerostar did some cool things, like Aerostar will do. He also looked like he flew into a brick wall on a dive, shooting right past Drago and hitting solidly into the front row. Vampiro covered admirably by saying that Drago caught and threw him. But damn that was a nasty ending to a dive. But moves in this match meant nothing. There was no rhyme or reason to who would recover faster, no transitions, just getting up and doing moves, several of which looked nice. But this was like me trying to rap, absolutely zero flow. Sometimes Drago would attack Aerostar while he was bouncing on the ropes, other times he would patiently wait in place for the move that came after the bouncing. It didn't add up to enough for me.

TL: The odd thing about this match to me is that it didn’t seem like they had any idea how to cohesively put things together. Striker puts over the “long pauses” as they’re hesitant to go after each other, but he and Vampiro were definitely covering a lot of general mistiming. And yeah, there wasn’t a part of this match that really got going. The Aerostar dive was very Blue Panther/Villano V-esque in its nastiness, but that was a misguided highlight. They need to make up their mind on whether Drago is a willing participant or someone who really has issues taking orders from Kobra Moon. Shades of grey in this particular scenario doesn’t work.

ER: Okay, you have to believe me here, but earlier in this review when I said, "I want [Cage] to punch through somebody's body with [the power glove]," you need to realize that I do not read spoilers for these shows. I have no idea what's going to happen, didn't know about the Sexy Star title win, none of this. I had zero clue 30 minutes later that Cage would literally punch a man's head to a pulp. And not just any man, but Lorenzo Lamas, TV's Renegade ("He was on fucking Falcon Crest!"~Phil Schneider). So now Cage is a murderer, and he seems mentally fine with being a murderer, which means there are several wrestlers I would like for him to murder and will now be confused if he ever loses a match again.

TL: I think the most unrealistic part of the epilogue was the big wig saying Cage got that big lifting weights and drinking protein shakes, when obviously the glove is a synonym for roid rage. Eric is way more prescient than I am, however, and Cage going full-on grindhouse on Lorenzo F’n Lamas makes me wonder what practical in-ring special effects we’re going to get with this glove. Can’t wait for his first Cueto Cup match, where he will most likely punch someone with the glove from the ring through Cueto’s office window thanks to an invisible harness of some kind. Or him hitting the Aztec symbol in the middle of the ring to make the lights in the arena flicker on and off or something. Is it in the budget for him to go full-on Attack on Titan and have him punching holes through people now that we’ve seen what he’s done to poor Lorenzo? Really wish I could have seen the look on Cage’s face when he found out this was going to be his story arc this season, because I don’t think there was anyone else in the company happier to hear what he or she was going to do than him. My favorite storyline LU has ever done and it’s not even close.

ER: I love Tim's idea to have somebody on wires getting punched by Cage and landing 20 feet away. If you're gonna go big and silly with it, go big and silly.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 18: Evil Rising

ER: So Matt had another baby because he's crazy, and now his wrestling viewing time is even more limited. For SOME reason he was having a tough time prioritizing season 3 of Lucha Underground. So great friend Tim Livingston will now step in as my THIRD LU writing partner, diving bravely into the middle of a top 3 season of the series. I am grateful.

ER: The romantic in me likes that Mil Muertes is not Catrina's true love. Like there's some guy out there who she was truly in love with but went for Mil because he could help her career/allow her to live for many millenia/give her access to transportive powers. But she lives with the regrets of not jumping off that scary cliff with that other guy, because she knew people would talk, and maybe they'd say he wasn't right for her, that Mil was more in line with her career needs. But this other guy...maybe he made her laugh...maybe they kissed like...really well...maybe they just clicked. And she lives with those regrets, every day.

TL: I see it more like Catrina went to an evil summer camp years ago and had her first kiss and hasn’t had one nearly as good as that one in her life and is destined to relive it over and over. Very much a Wet Hot American Summer type of vibe, but with evil stones and Power Gloves. Mil wondering how Puma didn’t die and finding out it was Vampiro who kept him alive makes this quite the unbelievable story arc. Then again, so does Jeremiah Crane getting with Catrina. Guessing the only thing that’s gonna make her love him is he goes to the vault and shows her his matches against Finlay. That’ll probably just make her love Finlay, though, so who could blame her?

TL: The house band having an electric violin only makes me want to see an electric banjo in a mariachi band.

1. Mariposa vs. Sexy Star

ER: What more can you really say about Sexy Star matches at this point? We've already seen her and Mariposa match up before, seen them team together, they had an I Quit match, and here we still are. Mariposa swinging Star's head into the announce table several times was one of my favorite things to happen in a Star match, but we got plenty of clunky moments as well. My favorite clunky moment was Star throwing a few strange out of position body shots at Mariposa, which Mariposa doesn't even realize she should be selling, and then Star just pauses and hip tosses her. The double stomp finish is a good one, though I don't think I would trust stumbly bumbly Star to not just full force on my spleen. Striker and Vampiro tried to put over the history of these two, but they went out and had a match like "hey, this is who they said I was wrestling tonight". I don't really understand the Moth turn on Mariposa. Is he going to feud with her? Who's the tecnico? Are they writing her out as what else is really left for her? I'd rather see Moth as a big bumping goon against people his own size.

TL: Damn it all, my first match reviewing Lucha Underground and it’s a Sexy Star match? This is quite the initiation process we have here at Segunda Caida. Really can’t wait for the pledging ceremony, where I’ll probably be forced to watch every Tiger Ali Singh/Antonio Inoki match. At least this match is with Mariposa, who is someone I’m betting Star can’t try and get unprofessional with. Man, it’s been a while since I’ve really heard Matt Striker commentary, but his overpronounciation of Spanish accents is extremely grating. Sexy actually throws a nice rana and does a pretty dang good tope con hilo through the middle ropes that Mariposa takes like a champ. Striker says Sexy has the “lucha advantage,” whatever that is. Sexy’s arm looks legit messed up, which means irony is absolutely the theme of this match. Mariposa’s ridiculous inverted Indian Deathlock while kicking Sexy in the head is amazing and someone needs to steal that. I love Cheerleader Melissa so much. Sexy finishes with an alright double stomp, but this match didn’t really have much to it. Marty then comes in afterwards and chokeslams his sister because this show doesn’t have enough male-on-female violence in the first place, I guess.

TL: The Rabbit Tribe gimmick is funny if only because I feel Paul London actually got told to do drugs before coming to the tapings. Would much rather watch Special K matches, though. Although now I’m thinking about watching Low Ki going crazy on Mala Suerte and I’m all about it. Gotta love Mascarita Sagrada curling literally more than his own bodyweight.

2. The Rabbit Tribe (Paul London/Mala Suerte/Saltador) vs. Drago/Pindar/Vibora

ER: This was a bunch of fun, mostly until Vibora got involved with his lizard Lance Hoyt vibes. I really love Pindar's mask, and Steve Pain is awesome. Love the Pindar/Suerte match-up. Cholo was one of the best things about the earlier seasons so it's nice to have him back, and that springboard headscissors was slick. Pindar hits a violent powerslam, but we can never get too far into overdrive as Vibora is always right there waiting to slow things down. Post match Aerostar/Fenix run-in was fun, but they're going to have to get pretty creative to work around luchasaurus. I hope they can find the right balance.

TL: Haven’t seen either Pinda (Steve Pain) or Vibora (Austin Matelson) before, although Striker sells Vibora as a 7-footer (he’s 6’5”) and now I wonder if I can book myself (at 6’3) as the 7-Foot Broadcaster. Lifts probably don’t help at the table. Vibora gets the “Luchasaurus” chant after Drago gets a short showcase spot or two, as he got forced into this match thanks to Kobra Moon’s insistence. The match has some Rabbit Tribe goofiness, although the reptiles do a cool double team big boot/Towerhacker Bomb (one of my favorite moves). Drago almost kills Saltador dead with a flipping neckbreaker to finish. Another match that kinda dragged through the steps towards a finish, mostly thanks to the big guy. I’m with Eric on Pain, though. Dude looked good. Drago gets saved post-match by Fenix and Aerostar, with Aerostar doing some ridiculous acrobatics as per usual, including an outside-in springboard into an assisted Codebreaker. I mean, if you’re gonna go big, at least go as big and ridiculous as possible.

ER: You need the lifts for when we walk out, then you need a phone book on you chair so that the 7' tag plays while sitting down. There you have it. 7 Feet of broadcasting fury!

TL: I’ve worked for two baseball teams in my life and for six years I’ve seen some absolutely ridiculously complex handshakes between teammates, which made the camera work on the handshake between Sexy and Mack look more overchoreographed than the handshake itself, an extremely difficult task. Someone really loves their jump cuts in the editing room.

3. Johnny Mundo vs. The Mack

ER: Fun match with a really poorly executed finish. And I'm not sure when Mack is going to completely tilt all the way into "Al Snow working 1999 WWE tribute spots at minor league baseball stadiums", but doing the stunner and people's elbow are probably way better for his body longterm than flying kicks and moonsaults. I thought this was supposed to be the title match, but instead we get a "winner picks the stipulation for the title match that will air in several months" match. This felt like whatever a touring match would be between these two. I liked Mack's sit out powerbombs, did not like Vampiro honing his Austin Power's impression during the match. That interference at the end took forever. Mack looked like a doofus.

TL: I find it really odd it took so long for Mundo to get the title considering he’s probably easily the most marketable talent they have on the show, but hey, what do I know? It’s not like he got a role on a hit Netflix show or anything. They REALLY play up the racial/socioeconomic difference on commentary and I get really uncomfortable for a moment as Vampiro sticks his foot in his mouth. I loved Mundo’s WWECW singles run, as he did well with the long TV matches, and this is very reminiscent of those. Pretty boy bully athleticism to play to his advantages (he stops himself on a springboard that was really nifty), gives Mack some big moments, and does some good transitions (liked the cat and mouse with the stuff under the ring). Agree with Eric on Mack’s sitout powerbomb, which looked sick and was very Spirit Bomb-esque. Really don’t get Marty Elias taking that much time looking outside the ring, but yeah, that finish took way too damn long. Was really hoping the “All Night Long” stip was a Lionel Richie karaoke contest.

ER: Loved Muertes beating the hell out of Vampiro, but really hoping it doesn't lead to any kind of feud. Still, Muertes needed a cool moment, and coming out just to rush Vampiro felt kinda cool.

TL: Even more than that finish, I REALLY don’t get how Vampiro couldn’t get out of the Flatliner while telling Puma “No!” but dug Muertes whooping up on him nonetheless. You’d think after dealing with Konnan that Puma would have learned his lesson messing with the carniest of luchadors, but man he’s really playing Lucha Sting here to a T. If Vampiro turns on him, he’s got nobody to blame but himself.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 12: Every Woman is Sexy, Every Woman is a Star

ER: We're back with the LU reviews!

MD: The delay on these were my fault. Even though I knew it was coming Sexy Star winning took enough air out of my sails that watching LU became a chore.

1. Rabbit Tribe (Paul London/Mala Suerte/Saltador) vs. Fenix/Aerostar/Drago

ER: Rabbit Tribe entrance is just trippy enough to work, and Cholo worked so damn hard in the early LU seasons that I want him to still have a job. That superkick on Fenix was perfectly timed, the no look cannonball got dangerously upside down, Suerte hit a huge plancha to the floor through everyone and a goofy cross-ring dropkick and then a gorgeous powerslam on Fenix. Cholo/Fenix is an awesome match up, good to have the guy back on TV. Fenix had a wild kung fu movie dropkick on Saltador in the corner, and I loved Aerostar arm dragging Fenix into a cannonball. Nice debut for the Tribe, nice defense for the fliers.

MD: After weeks of vignettes, this is maybe not how I'd debut the Rabbit Tribe? While it's good to have them look strong against the champs, a squash would have served better here. That's one of those things you get from LU a lot. They do a lot of things well but miss the basics now and again. There was a sense that any of the champs could overcome any of the Rabbits one on one, but that the Rabbits working together could take down any of the champs. Ultimately though, the champs working together > the rabbits working together (which again, isn't the best for a debut, even a heel one). The hierarchy is always weird in LU though. Everyone is just a little interchangeable. I could have used a bit more heel control to keep this from feeling like a normal weightless LU trios match and it was very weird that London didn't come off as the biggest, most focused upon, star of his group. Also, I didn't like Striker bringing up so much of his past because it doesn't quite sync with him being part of one of the ancient tribes. They need to bridge that gap if they're going to do that. In general, this was fun though. Lots of good spots well executed and a story that was loose but present enough to make this work for what it was. I can't wait to see these guys interact with Jack Evans (or Famous B/Brenda or Marty/Mariposa or Dario or a bunch of the other characters at the Temple). I thought the post match Kobra promo was nice and quick and kept the storylines moving.

ER: Boy they're really trying to make me buy this whole Sexy Star: Deserving Champion nonsense. I want her to get crushed.

2. Dante Fox vs. Killshot

ER: I liked this one until I didn't. They started off with well done sexy dance fighting and devolved into brainless head drop trading. I think things probably peaked with Fox hitting two big dives, and then getting kicked in the face on the third. From there we get a lot of things with complicated set-ups and dangerous landings. Fox is good at taking stuff on the side of his head, but it happens enough with him then hopping up to do his own offense, that it's a little tough to care about his head. They set up a ridiculous death valley driver from the top rope to the apron, then Killshot does his awful double stomp that always sees his feet land nowhere close to his opponent's body. Nearfall gets a major shock reaction from the believers, as they assumed that was it. Fox shows them how silly they were to get sucked into moves meaning something in a Fox/Killshot match by popping up and hitting his own finishers, which Striker already knew the names of. Favorite part was Striker saying "I'm not often at a loss for words but..." in the middle of talking non-stop for 10 minutes.

MD: I'm with Eric on this. I was giving this a pass early on despite the choreographed natured and the fact that Killshot, depsite being a precise military sharpshooter has to flip and roll about in the least disciplined way before he does every single move. I liked the match with Marty and the Matanza spin the wheel one, but he's got the worst habits of anyone on the show. That said, I was giving it a pass because they effectively portrayed the heavy choreography as the two wrestlers knowing each other so well. Then it just escalated more and more with less and less selling. Both guys were so into hitting their stuff that the crowd had no idea who to cheer for. I think they're doing a shades of grey sort of thing where Killshot might have really done Fox wrong and might be the bad guy but Fox came in seeming that way and both guys worked so spot-heavy that any sense of roles ended up completely out the window. After the DVD/Double Stomp kick out and the Storm Cradle Driver roll followed by consequence-shrugging-off rope running I was done. I checked out completely. What a mess. What shitty wrestlers who completely miss the point. Just terrible.

MD: Thankfully, we get some Dario talking segments after this. As always, I love how he's consistently wiping his nose. I got a kick out of the little bits of comedic music in the Mundo talk. I also like the obvious fact that the Triad sent enforcers to fix all of Black Lotuses screw ups but she's too thick to realize that and she thinks she's still in charge of the situation. That's how I'm reading it at least. I'll take what i can get between these two matches.

3. Sexy Star vs. Johnny Mundo

ER: Thank goodness Johnny had Taya planted in the crowd to help him beat the big bad Sexy Star. This stunk. Star has the least effective offense in the company, and they worked a straight match. Mundo tried literally carrying her at certain points, but it's too big a task. Luckily Mundo's flipping finisher never connects anyway, so he didn't have to worry about pulling, as all moves performed on Sexy Star must be pulled lest we break her brittle bird bones.

MD: Shoot, you know what? This wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting. For one thing, Mundo is willing to bump around the ring for Star, making her stuff look passable when it really, really shouldn't. He did suprisingly well positioning her about during the matwork segments too. I think what impressed me the most were the transitions. Every time she ended back on offense it was either due to a miscue from Mundo or due to her taking advantage of his positioning with a quick trip or kicking out of the leg, something like that. It was believable and well put together. No, I don't think Mundo (or the structure) carried this to being actually good, but given the result I'd take "Not nearly as bad as I was expecting" at this point. The finish was a little anti climactic. It would have been better if Taya was banned from the arena and snuck in under a mask or something. But hey, Star had a one week reign, right? So whatever works.


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