Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 17: The Moth and the Butterfly

TL: Oh my God, the opening cinematic with Aerostar telling Melissa he's seen the end of everything was extremely bad. Cringey bad. Like the SNL guest who can't read the cue cards off camera bad. Melissa had to have been fed every line she said. Aerostar, bless his heart, is doing what he can with this.

XO Lishus/Joey Ryan/Ivelisse vs. Paul London/The White Rabbit/El Bunny

ER: The return of Mascarita Sagrada to LU can only be a good thing, and Killer Kross finally makes a TV match, a fun late addition to the fed. This was a jump up from last week's trios match. The Rabbit Tribe is a fun stable and the mix of London/Sagrada/Kross is a twisted WAR team that totally works. Sagrada vs. XO Lishus was not a match I realized I wanted, but damn was it fun as hell as it was happening. Paul London bumps around for Ivelisse as well as any man in the fed has, a nice recovery for her after a sloppy performance last week. We got a huge London dropkick to the floor and a Sagrada stopped momentum dive to Ivelisse that somehow looked good. And they did a fun thing all match long by having Kross glower from the apron, with it practically a known conclusion that he was just going to end things the moment he stepped into the match. He did, and they finished on an awesome visual, Kross choking out Joey Ryan with a mandible claw, wearing gimmicked gloves with bloody fingers, like he was gouging into Ryan's esophagus.

TL: I'm stoked to see what Kross does here as the White Rabbit. Mascarita and Paul bring it more often than not, but Kross is here to be brooding and explosive (supposedly). The London unitard/powder white face paint combo is the right kind of weird. Ivelisse getting the hot tag here was certainly a choice. XO LIshus and Sagrada paired off somewhat nicely, and Sagrada just in general came off really well here. One of the better examples of his size not being played up as something of a detriment. I agree that the match-ending mandible claw visual was awesome, and shows how presence and intent goes a long way. The stuff surrounding this was fine, but the Kross payoff was about as good as it's gonna get. It's so weird that they bring him in now with only a few weeks to go and he goes over that strong, but my thought is they take the trios titles...and then the company folds? Sigh.

Killshot vs. Son of Havoc

ER: So I forgot what had been going on between Killshot and Son of Havoc, or if they even had anything, but Striker tells me this is a big match so I'll go with it. They did work it as if it were more important than the #1 contender's match last week, so maybe this is a big deal. They use way too much sound sweetening, but there was good stuff here. Son of Havoc hits a big tope and he's always landing too close to the Temple steps, and I could see these two stepping up and having a fun mask match. They felt like they had big match formula down in a good way here, even if I don't like some of their offense.

TL: Seeing Strickland as Isaiah Scott now in NXT allows him to show off some more personality but the offense still doesn't work with me yet. He needs to tighten things up a bit, and this match doesn't bode well for two guys who like to try stuff that come off incredibly choreographed. And while this did have hints of that, they didn't try to do as much as I thought! It at least had good intentions, and I thought for sure there was going to be a few spots that got too cute. This was fine. And now we get to see it again as an apuestas. THAT'S probably going to be when they get too cute and I yell and scream, but whatever.

TL: Moth gets some promo time and looks way more comfortable in pre-taped segments than with a live mic. Reklusa is a great wrestling name for Chelsea, too.

No DQ: Marty The Moth Martinez vs. Mariposa

ER: This was great, easily one of the best LU matches in this cursed season. I think we'll have to do an actual ranked Season 4 Top 10 matches list when we're done with this. There's a strong chance that I won't have anything from this season on our MOTY List, and there have been strong representatives from the other 3 seasons. There were many reps from season 1, several from season 2, less in season 3, but none so far 17 episodes in to season 4. This came damn close, a really fun and violent brawl with Mariposa taking a cruel beating and firing back with some inventive comebacks. We built up to a couple of very strong nearfalls, more effective than anything I can remember this season. Martinez really beats her up, and I think it actually worked better because they have been presented as having a weird relationship for their entire time in LU. They've established that we could really expect these two to treat each other however, so the intergender thing worked for it. Mariposa took a great beating and bled, got slammed into walls and even powerbombed on the floor! Her comebacks were logical and violent, at one point burying Moth in about 15 chairs, all throwing hard at him, and late in the match she punts him right in the balls as payback for his shot to the crotch at the beginning of the match. I get the Reklusa interference (and love the name too) but I was enjoying the match so much that I was hoping they'd build to something more special for a finish. But this was good, and the postmatch beating Marty gave her felt edgier than LU has felt in awhile. Fans are super hot for the Moth/Pentagon title match, and even though Pentagon is probably the guy I'm least interested in watching on this current roster, I am now foolishly excited for that match.

TL: Oh HELL YES. MORE CHEERLEADER MELISSA. Low key, she's been one of the best match for match performers in the show's history, and I'm stoked to see her get a showcase match here. The start was great, the headbutt from Mariposa, the low blow, the vicious beatdown and mask ripping in the corner by Marty, Mariposa flying into the stands and then SHE BLEEDS ON THE CHAIR SHOT. And then Martinez whips her headfirst into the table like a goddamn madman and this has my attention pretty easily from the get go. Marty then powerbombs her into the grate and then sits out on the floor with it; a sequence that looks kinda blah in other matches, but because of the carnage on the outside so far, really fits in as Marty dominating her early on. They're going for it and it's like they woke this show up a bit. And then the madness of that chair pileup spot during the Mariposa comeback, and Vampiro literally jumping for joy as Mariposa rains down two dozen or so thrown chairs on Marty. I can't get over how much this rules, to be honest. When she set up the chair, I thought she was gonna go crazy and hit the Kudo Driver through it, but the Samoan Drop was nasty as all hell, too. Amazing near falls in this match on her two attempts. Then Marty retains with Pentagon's Fear Factor to retain after Reklusa interference to rub it in. Spectacular stuff, an absolute burst of energy on a show that has long needed it, easily the best match this season. Mariposa remains one of my favorite wrestlers in the history of the show, and even though for whatever reason they didn't give her much to work with in-ring, she absolutely crushed it every time she was given an opportunity to shine. Marty is gonna die for us in the Cero Miedo match (let's be honest: he ain't topping Vampiro from the first one) and that will be fun but man, even without spoilers, it's easy to see how things are going to end up. Five more episodes to go...

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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 9: A Match Made in Heaven

ER: This may be an odd question...but was that actually Melissa playing Mariposa in the opening segment with Cueto? Her voice sounded completely different from how I remember her sounding (not merely the absence of her minor speech impediment, her voice just sounded different), and the mask covers enough that I actually have no idea.

TL: Was that…a competent set up for the main event? Like, did they actually lay out the consequences in a cogent manner for us to understand? Wild, man.

Mala Suerte vs. Matanza

ER: So now we've established bunny hop "boings" and speed bags SFX to our LU SFX canon. This was short but nobody died. Suerte hit a great baseball slide dropkick to start, Matanza hit a nice headbutt to cut off bunny hops and hit the Wrath of the Gods. But again, nobody died, which seems important to point out now.

TL: I literally cannot add anything to what Eric said about this match when those SFX were involved. Peak pro wrestling production, that.

Joey Ryan/Jack Evans vs. XO Lishus/Ivelisse

ER: I really liked this, especially as a showcase for Evans and Lishus. I wasn't excited for Joey opposite another woman, but I liked the turn into Joey being a full blown sex addict, just wanting any kind of touch and contact with any human (at minimum, any human). I think him being into getting slammed into XO Lishus' juicy hot ass and liking it is an important thing to happen. Sex addict is far more interesting than overt pervert. Lishus is a ton of fun, a great take on an exotico. The splits legdrop is good, and I also realized with his outfit, butt stuff, splits...he's basically cosplaying as Naomi. That feels like a level of exotico we haven't had in wrestling, an actual drag routine paying tribute to a fan favorite. The cartwheel slap is great with the character, and there was a hilarious moment with he and Evans, where Lishus ducked a clothesline and landed in a crabwalk, Evans overran him with the miss, ran back, but was chased into the corner with a quick burst of crabwalking from Lishus. Evans played it great, the timing was down, a genuinely funny and unique moment played perfectly. They went way too heavy on SFX for Ivelisse, she had a couple weak shots that came off comical with the loud thigh slap sound, but stuff like armdrags and ranas looked fine and she ate Ryan's offense well. Evans is still finding his place without WU, and I hope he's featured more from here now that he's away from WU. But he and Lishus owned here.

TL: I want to be a part of the conversations Joey has had with other folks to try and figure out how he could evolve his character. As Eric said, the climb from pervert to sex addict seems like the natural next step for him and who better to bring it out of him than Lishus, who has the athleticism that makes it look like he can hang with Jack F’n Evans step for step. Evans’ athleticism never ceases to amaze me; his springboard moves look out of control but also look like they kill folks. Yeah, the Lishus/Evans stuff was terrific, which led to the absolutely disgusting finish with the omoplata that really looked like a chokeout as opposed to all the other loosely applied MMA finishes you’d see in wrestling today. Stoked to see this get a longer feud, too. Ryan and Ivelisse were definitely in this match.

Mariposa vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: This was so short and really a nothing match. It was presented as an obstacle for Azteca but he didn't have too much trouble with Mariposa. It's a Lucha Underground update on an old early 90s Wrestling Challenge squash match. In one of those matches the enhancement talent would maybe get a dropkick or a couple elbows that get no sold. In a Lucha Underground squash match the enhancement talent still gets to break out a Kudo Driver moments after taking a huge 450 splash. The times they are a changin'.

TL: Love the foul to start the match during the belt presentation, love the kick to the inside of the thigh even more. Also love how in 2018, a 450 splash and a fucking KUDO DRIVER get 2.9s, but crossing the legs on a rolling prawn hold? Can’t get out of that, no siree. But hey, I’ve never wrestled before, so I don’t understand psychology, I guess.

The Reptile Tribe vs. Worldwide Underground

ER: So Striker says that Vibora is "striking in his absence" meaning nobody else knows about Vibora's death, but you'd think his absence would be focused on a lot more if that was the case. Instead they're just immediately cool with lizard Jeremiah Crane being the replacement. Also, could we have maybe done a little better than Jeremiah Snake? Here are a few off the top of my head with similar vocal patterns: Jereboa Crane, Jereviper Crane, Jereconda Crane. They aren't rhymes, but the syntax is the same as his original name and they roll off the tongue similarly. Or, they could have embraced their ridiculous side and further have their cake and eat it too, and he could have been Janaconda Cobrane. Also, I like that even in a rare 4 on 4 match, Ricky Mandel still isn't good enough to make the cut. I want them do have a 10 man tag to see if he has a shot at getting some playing time.

And I really liked this match. It was the right amount of fun and action, and really the fed should run more 8 man tags. I've gotten tired of their go to singles match style, but throw any 8 people from the roster in a ring and they should all have enough material to work a fun 10 minute match. You get less reliance on kickouts and more reliance on saves at that point, and a well timed save is more exciting to me than a big kickout. We get a ton of big dives, some complicated (like Kobra Moon getting launched into everyone by Jeremiah) and a couple impressive Aerostar ones, and a huge cannonball into everyone by Jeremiah. The pacing was kept brisk, and the whole thing was kept light which is a good thing because serious matches typically feature Striker reading a bunch of lousy copy about the Fates of Worlds and the Calamity of Man. The post-match worked for me too, even though the Macho Man stuff was all really obvious, I loved the Pomp and Circumstance playing while Mundo had Taya up on his shoulder. Taya's reaction to the proposal was good and as I've been wondering the past couple weeks this surely throws WU into full babyface, which isn't a bad twist. I somehow didn't notice the relevance of the episode title, which now seems like it should be saved for the inevitable wedding episode of LU, and I also somehow foolishly never considered a wedding episode for LU. We're well over 100 episodes at this point, and if we actually want to pretend that this is an actual TV series and not wrestling, then we're already into syndication and we're overdue for a wedding and a baby. We've already gotten to the point of the show where it's consistently going downhill from its peak, so now we need a couple of classic ratings poppers!

TL: The graphic leading into this match looks like it was made for an ECW TV main event in 1997, which is terrific. Big wet fart for the return of Crane as part of the Reptile Tribe. Don’t care enough to even make fun of the name. Aerostar wearing the bandana over his mask is as goofy looking as Klay Thompson wearing the bandana during his 14 3-pointer game last week, which means I love it. Vibora had been getting better so I’m a bit sad he’s not a part of this, because this seems like the type of match where he’d really stand out.

More wild atomicos match than I would have thought with this set up, as I figured there would be more pairing off than a whole bunch of dives, but they wanted a frenetic pace from the start. PJ Black’s hot tag that began with a bunch of first week training offense after the springboard was amusing. Nothing like armdrags and shoulder blocks to fire things up. The more I hear “Jeremiah Snake” the more I cringe. He also gets a lot of the match here, which is disappointing. Would have loved to see more Moon and Drago, especially considering Aerostar was brought in specifically because of his past with Drago. Instead, Drago gets to watch Aerostar hit his second ridiculous dive of the match and then take the fall. Postmatch was actually cool for the fakeout, Johnny being magnanimous, and the two-bit Savage aping. It was ELIZABETH who did the “Ooooohh yeah” part, man. C’mon. I’m not sure what wedding day shenanigans will occur to hold it up before it actually happens, but I’ve been entertained by WU skits to the point where I’d at least enjoy it. Can’t remember too many happy RobRod movie marriages, but maybe they’ll make an exception here.

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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 1: El Jefe

ER: Yeah yeah, we're back. We're late because of me, but we're back. I am still doing this spoiler free, which is seeming like an exponentially stupid thing to do considering I've liked each season less than the one that preceded it. I'm hoping for a nice return to form this season. Saying that, I don't actually know who is still involved with the fed, which is part of the fun/horror of going into this thing blind.

TL: Hilariously, if we didn't avoid spoilers, we might cherry pick through things instead on here. There's a lot of horror in this one, though. A LOT of horror.

ER: I immediately regret falling behind at the very beginning of the season, since we get introduced to Papa Antonio Cueto, which I imagine caused quite the varied reactions. I both love it for its ridiculousness, and hate it for its everything else. This is clearly a show with some money behind it, surely we have some extra dough in the coffers for a better wig? Cueto's wig was a 0.8 on the Amanda Bynes Courtroom Appearance scale. The beardwork was okay. The voicework was sub-Christian Bale Batman growl voice. The framed photo was as good as any funeral portrait you've seen, but they lose major points for not having a Temple flower arrangement. Okay this was fucking awful.

TL: So, we get the saga of Dario, the feds, and the power glove, complete with Lorenzo Lamas’ removed eyeball and some dude in a Puma mask who may or may not look like someone who has a big match coming up at NXT: Takeover Brooklyn 4. But THEN we get Dario not only dying, but his father coming to his sparsely attended funeral.

AND IT’S THE SAME GUY THAT PLAYED DARIO WHO IS PLAYING HIS FATHER.

Imagine after the aborted Vince car bomb angle that got shelved because He Who Shall Not Be Named did That Which Shall Not Be Described, you get Vince coming back as the ghost of Vince Sr. haunting Raw on a regular basis. It would have been way better than the Twitter bot that played the Raw GM for months upon months. I understand LU is a pulp show on a pulp network and there is some goofiness going on, but this goes beyond the pale on the goofiness scale. Of course, Antonio berates his son, knocks down his memorial portrait in the ring because he finally has control of HIS promotion, and then announces Aztec Warfare for the LU title. That is definitely a way to start off the new season of this show.


Aztec Warfare 4!

ER: Okay, THIS was fucking awful. What a terrible, sluggish, boring, uninteresting match to start your 4th season off with a fart sound. This whole mess was designed to show the dominance of Pentagon, and for a lazy dude he turned in one of his absolutely laziest performances I've seen. Maybe because it was so long and one-note? It was bad. It started with him and Tommy Dreamer having a super slow mo kendo stick battle, and continued with him hitting his finisher on approximately 10 guys. The new entrants appear to be coming in every 30 seconds, and there's an elimination every 30-60 seconds. New guys come in, new guys take one move, new guys leave. It was fucking awful. Even Matt Striker wasn't trying, and brother they don't come more try hard than Matt Striker. In arguably the least inspired moment of a match filled with uninspired moments, Vinny Massaro comes out, gets a pepperoni pizza delivery, starts to eat a slice and in the flattest tone I've ever heard from him Striker weakly says "PizzaGate". That's it. That's the joke. The joke is that there is no joke. There's a reference, but no attempt at a joke. And the reference is already nearly 2 years past expiration. When Pentagon hooked Massaro's leg on the pin I expected him to flatly sputter out a Sandy Hook reference, but no. I rooted pretty hard for Chavo, just because he was infinitely more interesting in this match than Pentagon, and the crowd clearly hates him because he's...well, no LU fans were ever able to give any actual reason why they disliked Chavo. Striker points out how hot Catrina looks, and normally the golf with eyes bugging out and a tongue on the floor reaction from Striker is the lamest, but in an aggressively shitty match like this Catrina's hotness really was a genuine highlight. Fenix was easily the most interesting of the wrestlers involved, and it really wouldn't have taken much effort from him to earn that title. Awful, awful, boring, lazy match.

TL: I actually wrote out a play by play for this because I'm absolutely crazy and also thorough when it comes to pro wrestling things I feel like I have to watch. Good lord almighty was this a slog to get through. I mean absolutely terrible in most ways. The idea behind it was to absolutely make Pentagon The Guy in the promotion, but instead, it's like a Cliff's Notes version of the folks you might see on this program week to week, and it really doesn't do a good job of selling that here. Pentagon is in at 6, and it doesn't get actually entertaining until Fenix is in at 13, where he outshines his brother in like 1/25 the time. The biggest issue I had with this is that all the guys you'd be excited to see, especially someone like Muertes, are in the match for all of like...2 minutes? I mean, Chavo gets a producer's run? Marty gets a shot to try and score an upset on Pentagon as the final guy in the match? Especially after Marty lost to Fenix in the way he did last season? This isn't even a reset. It's like taking the neuralizer from Men In Black. And after this I need it. There isn't a single thing coming out of this that makes me excited for what's to come, and that's a terrible omen for a show that already blows so hot and cold.

ER: And we get more from Papa Cueto, which was a character that just could not have sounded good at any step of the writing process. I'm not as imaginative as I perhaps once was, but I cannot actually imagine a worse way to start a new season of LU. This honestly has to be the worst episode in the history of the series.

TL: Can we get Lorenzo Lamas back up in this thing again please? More Godfrey? Papa Cueto has worn out his welcome and it's only been one show. I started reviewing these with a Sexy Star match. This whole show was worse than that feeling.


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 36: The Rise of the Ring Announcer

ER: I really liked the opening Melissa Santos/Fenix segment, a lot. It came off like an updated take on Girlfight or something. The prior romantic scenes between Fenix/Santos came off silly, this came off downright steamy, like the George Clooney/Jennifer Lopez scenes in Out of Sight, or the Timothee Chalamet/Armie Hammer scenes in Call Me By Your Name. I thought their body language was really strong, loved the interplay of submissions, loved the sparring and grappling as metaphor for relationship dynamics, that gentle hair flop onto Fenix's face, thought all of it worked tremendously well. Now, if you think of it out of a vacuum it gets weirder, as you realize that Melissa Santos is going to be in the ring wrestling for the first time ever and they only announced it at the beginning of the episode where that was happening, and then you start thinking "Wait these two are locking in these tight go behinds and she's letting her hair seductively flop all over Fenix's face and...she hasn't even seen his face? This all seemed pretty intimate. It feels like they've been hanging out. And this whole time, during meals, during dates, during post training showers...Fenix has not removed that mask? How terrible must that mask smell?? Santos has let herself grow dangerously, emotionally close to a man who may have a Monster energy tattoo on his forehead for all she knows. But that's what thinking gets you. Follow your heart. The segment was good.

TL: I can’t even begin to top what Eric just said so my only addition to this, whether it was good editing or camera cuts or what have you, is that Santos looked like she could go!!! I all of a sudden am into whatever that tag match is gonna be. This was one of the best examples of female empowerment the show has ever portrayed because this was natural as opposed to shoved down our throats like Sexy Star was. Santos came off as a big deal with this, which is what wrestling promos are supposed to do!

Dante Fox vs. Texano

ER: I liked this more than I expected, and it's true that Fox is typically more interesting when he's against more of a power base than another athletic flipper. Texano can get really lazy during routine moments, looking like a somnambulist going through simple sequences like a lazy clothesline/back elbow sequence, but he excels here at making Fox look strong. When a guy throws a lazy clothesline you wouldn't expect him to throw himself into a crucifix bomb, and Texano is good at working around fast Fox sequences, like all of the stuff on the apron that eventually lead to the run-up-ringpost moonsault. The match was a good Worldwide length of 5-6 minutes, and even though it got too move trade-y down the stretch I was pleasantly surprised overall. Famous B botches (in storyline) the ending and calls Texano the winner, so Dario sets up B vs. Texano for next week. B says his arm is still broke from Pentagon and Dario FINALLY gets a classic Dario line in (feels like it's been WAY too long) when he says "Well then it looks like it will be a...handicap match!" Pure gold. Dario hasn't felt fully "Dario" this season, and comes off really ineffective and less the all powerful manipulator. That line was needed.

TL: Striker makes a “Clerks” joke (“I’m not even supposed to be here today”) because of Dante and not only does it make me feel old but reminds me that Kevin Smith almost died mere days ago. I thought this was alright, but not a standout or anything. Fox doing a faceplant on an enzuigiri was amusing and then became even moreso when he just went back on offense after taking a bump that looked like it would have killed him. I’ve talked about how Texano has basically looked disinterested ever since when he first came to LU with Alberto Del Rio and was used to put him over not only in LU, but in AAA, so this really does feel like he’s collecting a paycheck at this point. Agree with the line usage, but in Dario’s defense, he was in jail, man. He’s seen some shit. Just not the same guy anymore.

Marty "The Moth" Martinez/Mariposa vs. Fenix/Melissa Santos

ER: Still really surprised that this match wasn't announced at all in advance. Do they advertise? Maybe they advertise and this was announced. It feels like a pretty big match within the LU universe. And it was really fun, although after all the wins and big moments they gave to Sexy Star it's ridiculous that they can't give Santos a good moment. Moth has been licking and rubbing on her for a couple seasons now, and while she's a non-wrestler that never stopped Sexy Star from wrestling. Give her a fucking pinfall, who are we protecting here? Anyway Fenix works a nice match against the two, including hitting an actual good looking Lethal Injection and hitting a wild twisting dive to the floor. Santos getting into the match was a great moment, with Moth running into a perfectly timed high kick from the apron and the gets Irish whipped into elbow smashing Mariposa. The tandem offense didn't look great but the moment was still good.

TL: This WAS announced in advance, but Eric, much like me when I’m trying to burn through reviews, most likely fast-forwarded past the 20-second mention of it from a couple weeks ago by Striker and Vampiro. So…what I’m trying to say is that Eric made the right decision in skipping past how this match got announced in the first place. Striker says Fenix has a “legendary mask” like he’s Atlantis or something. Mariposa is so sudden with her offense, it’s amazing to think she’s been doing this for two decades. One thing in addition to Melissa doing the job in this match: There’s now absolutely no doubt that Marty is gonna lose. Had Melissa gotten a pin on Mariposa, at least you could have seen a more level playing field. Melissa’s offensive moments were definitely cool, but the way this ended was a bit too much.

ER: We get a rundown of the epic card for the 4 episode (!) Ultima Lucha extravaganza, which should make for plenty of fun. Although how absolutely ridiculous does Ivelisse vs. Catrina look at this point?? The last Ivelisse match aired 6 months before this episode, and Catrina has never wrestled in the fed. Does anyone watching even remember why they made that match?

TL: It’s a huge card, but to be honest, I’m really only looking forward to the main event, the cage match, and the Fox/Killshot match. There’s gonna be a lot of filler for me to get into.

Paul London vs. Mala Suerte vs. Saltador vs. Cortez Castro vs. Drago vs. Son of Havoc vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: This was a pretty cracking spotfest, one of the best Drago performances in awhile, a continuation of Paul London as an extremely relevant wrestler after a few years in the woods, some great Saltdaor stuff, just a ton of fun. Drago was the centerpiece of this whole thing, either tying things together and finding things to occupy time. I loved him sprinting across the ring after London leading to London doing his bananas springboard tope en reversa to the floor. he easily could have just stood there doing nothing since London was going to do the spot anyway, this made things feel more immediate. Saltador got some nice moments and I especially loved him getting backdropped into London (who was slumped in the corner). We got a couple big dives, everybody moved in and out of it smoothly, a couple nice saves, just a fun spotfest. We do get a dumbo ending with Havoc and Pentagon getting simultaneous pinfalls, but Dario comes out to announce a ladder match between the two, which is fine.

TL: I like that this match was basically laid out like an atomicos or a cibenertico, as it never really let up and gave everyone some shine. If you’re gonna do a damn seven way, you might as well take advantage and sprint. And yeah, they sprint, big time. London looks great in this match, like a true Droog. I wish he would talk shit in Cockney gibberish slang between moves. But my guy in this match? Saltador. All his offense looked crisp as all hell. He had this great springboard legdrop that looked snug when it landed and he had a great dive. Also looked great taking down Pentagon to start. I don’t like the ending either, a true bait and switch bullshit ending, but we got to see Dario yell “LADDER MATCH!” in a way that made me smile. He must have known tapings were winding down, man. He went for it in this episode.

ER: I love all the backseat of a limo scenes with Dario, and they're only better with Godfrey. I don't know who they can get to be the cigar smoking boss, but considering the programming on El Rey can we PLEASE make it Fred Williamson? We all know everyone in power is a rich old white man, so LU needs to flip the script and present us a rich old black man as the one in charge. If it's Fred Williamson I will happily go back and watch every second of every single Sexy Star moment, and not complain.

TL: Fred Williamson is awesome, but considering he’s done voiceovers for WWE highlight packages before, I’d look at the budget and just not pull ANY punches: KEITH. DAVID. MAKE IT HAPPEN, CHAVO. I NEED Keith on this show, man. Also, I love how in the span of two mintues, Dario adds two more matches I’m actually fine with for Ultima Lucha in the three-way and the ladder match. He might be getting it back just in time for the biggest show of the year, baby.


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 23: Family First

ER: My gosh you guys! Fenix and Melissa Santos are getting steamyyyyyyyy. They were acting like cute high school kids, with Fenix cruising up in his custom Camaro (I have to imagine the highway patrol would not recommend driving in a mask, as your peripheral vision is of utmost importance on the road) and suddenly the garage gets super windy as Melissa's hair swoops around. These wild eyed kids.

TL: I think what makes this unbelievable to me is that Fenix would drive that type of car, although it does vibe with Eric’s description of literally every movie we grew up watching depicting high school romance. If Fenix was wearing a jean jacket, I would have thought it was too on the nose. Marty is still psychotic, don’t you know. Don’t get why you have to bang your head through glass to prove it, but there you have it. Psychotic Marty Martinez. Psychomoth. Okay, how come he wasn’t just Psychomoth from the start?!? Shoutouts to Melissa for the wardrobe change before the opener.

1. Vinny Massaro vs. Cage

ER: Glad to see Massaro in an actual match, and it was a fun one. Vinny has always been able to crack a jaw with a forearm, and he blasts Cage a few times here. Cage is a beast and leans in to everything, all of Vinny's lariats and elbows, and throws back. Vinny works in one of my favorite spots from his old trainer Mike Modest, when Cage tries to slingshot him back in the ring Vinny just lets go of the ropes and gives Cage an eyepoke (Modest would usually throw a forearm). But Cage catches a lariat and slams Vinny on the apron. I liked Vinny's hope comeback and liked how the Temple crowd was getting into it. Naturally he goes for the Power Glove, misses, and Cage spikes him with the screwdriver. Postmatch Vinny gets busted open and chokeslammed from the ring to the floor. Vinny does not do well in Lucha Underground post match.

TL: Vinny Mass out here taking it to Cage and getting some offense in! He lights up Cage a bit with some nice forearms and then even gets a nice STO. With Cage basically on one leg, this is at least fun, especially to see Cage power through it to make some of this stuff work. Vinny took some pretty sick bumps, including the aforementioned chokeslam, where he really took a nasty fall. So sad to see the pride of Sicily go so soon.

TL: I’m now starting to see what Eric was talking about with these voiceovers, as the cheesiness is definitely apparent. Mundo going the full Johnny Lawrence is inspired, though.

2. Marty the Moth Martinez vs. Saltador

ER: Not loving how Saltador-heavy this match was, as working the LSD gimmick basically just means a sorta boring wrestler now also wrestles badly. It doesn't really work. And Moth isn't really a good style match for him, as they both brought out bad aspects of each other. It's fun watching Moth bump around for armdrags and run into a superkick, but he's a big guy and I like him more against other big guys. Here instead of throwing bombs and big bumps he broke out a bunch of indy offense, like a big silly chokeslam into his own knees while he takes a back bump. That stuff is almost always dumb. The powerbomb into the railing was sick, but didn't seem to mean anything to the context of the match.

TL: Saltador going full on tripped out World of Sport chain wrestling madness is going to get a win from me, even if I’m not a big fan of the mind games shtick. I get the disconnect Eric is talking about, but at least he’s playing up to the gimmick. Striker playing up the sensuality and Marty getting turned on by the violence just makes me shake my head, though. This match made me feel a bunch of different weird ways. It had some decent Marty offense. And the postmatch stalker collage is a bit much, but hey, character development!

3. Pindar vs. Mascarita Sagrada

ER: Pindar was a good choice for this match, as I'm both excited to see him advance (although I was half expecting them to let Sagrada advance improbably far in this tournament) and get more singles matches, but he's also a good base for Sagrada's insanity. Throw all logic out the window and just accept that a super sturdy guy is going to be taking flip bumps for a 60 pound man. Sagrada hits a nutso flip dive rana through the ropes and slaps Kobra Moon. Vampiro - I assume quoting Trump at a recent campaign rally - says he "slapped the bitch out of her". Pindar hits him with a stiff yakuza kick and an amusing flapjack cutter. Pindar was also benevolent enough to not recklessly destroy the little guy.

TL: Pindar continues to be one of the best bases in LU history by being right there for all of Mascarita’s offense and hitting some really nice power offense. He even does the damn Harley Race/Brock Lesnar high knee bump in the corner and I am all in. The Sagrada tope suicida con Dragonrana is an insane spot. And then he does the rope walk diving rana to the outside. The Pyramid Driver into the flapjack to finish by Pindar was ridiculous. This was very fun professional wrestling to watch.

4. Mariposa vs. Fenix

ER: This is probably the best showing in LU for Mariposa, which is a sentence that probably nobody cares about. Vampiro says "Mariposa has been beaten down all her life," which...is not something that has ever actually been implied in any of the Mariposa sketches. I assume Vampiro does not actually watch these shows. But Mariposa looked good, and Fenix is a nut getting spiked on a tornado DDT. Mariposa gets a nice rana to the floor, but really the match was pretty inconsequential. Moth comes out after and Fenix hits a wild dive on everybody.

TL: Mariposa seems extremely underutilized when Sexy F’n Star is getting all that run and she shows again why in this match, pulling out some fun as all hell offense and going toe to toe with Fenix with the highly contrived lucha sequences. I like that she got a bunch of offense in at least, but it was a sudden finish. Bleh way to end just to get to that dive.

ER: Is this tournament going to take place over the rest of the season? Tying up 32 guys like this seems like a really bad idea. I'm sure things will pick up a bit once we get through these first round matches, but we still have EIGHT first round matches to go. That's just too much. And tying up this much time on a cup that looks as silly as that really shows a major lack from the props department. Is this whole thing literally for just a title shot? Dario has stopped random matches to give title shots before. Now he wants to tie up 3 months of TV to reward one? This ranks right at the bottom of Dario ideas.

TL: Quick math shows that they have to go two more weeks for the first round, two more weeks for the second round, then maybe one more week for the third round? So five weeks at least? That’s a lot of tournament to watch, and I love me some tournaments. This might be a chore, though. We’ll get through this, my friend. Together.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 18: Evil Rising

ER: So Matt had another baby because he's crazy, and now his wrestling viewing time is even more limited. For SOME reason he was having a tough time prioritizing season 3 of Lucha Underground. So great friend Tim Livingston will now step in as my THIRD LU writing partner, diving bravely into the middle of a top 3 season of the series. I am grateful.

ER: The romantic in me likes that Mil Muertes is not Catrina's true love. Like there's some guy out there who she was truly in love with but went for Mil because he could help her career/allow her to live for many millenia/give her access to transportive powers. But she lives with the regrets of not jumping off that scary cliff with that other guy, because she knew people would talk, and maybe they'd say he wasn't right for her, that Mil was more in line with her career needs. But this other guy...maybe he made her laugh...maybe they kissed like...really well...maybe they just clicked. And she lives with those regrets, every day.

TL: I see it more like Catrina went to an evil summer camp years ago and had her first kiss and hasn’t had one nearly as good as that one in her life and is destined to relive it over and over. Very much a Wet Hot American Summer type of vibe, but with evil stones and Power Gloves. Mil wondering how Puma didn’t die and finding out it was Vampiro who kept him alive makes this quite the unbelievable story arc. Then again, so does Jeremiah Crane getting with Catrina. Guessing the only thing that’s gonna make her love him is he goes to the vault and shows her his matches against Finlay. That’ll probably just make her love Finlay, though, so who could blame her?

TL: The house band having an electric violin only makes me want to see an electric banjo in a mariachi band.

1. Mariposa vs. Sexy Star

ER: What more can you really say about Sexy Star matches at this point? We've already seen her and Mariposa match up before, seen them team together, they had an I Quit match, and here we still are. Mariposa swinging Star's head into the announce table several times was one of my favorite things to happen in a Star match, but we got plenty of clunky moments as well. My favorite clunky moment was Star throwing a few strange out of position body shots at Mariposa, which Mariposa doesn't even realize she should be selling, and then Star just pauses and hip tosses her. The double stomp finish is a good one, though I don't think I would trust stumbly bumbly Star to not just full force on my spleen. Striker and Vampiro tried to put over the history of these two, but they went out and had a match like "hey, this is who they said I was wrestling tonight". I don't really understand the Moth turn on Mariposa. Is he going to feud with her? Who's the tecnico? Are they writing her out as what else is really left for her? I'd rather see Moth as a big bumping goon against people his own size.

TL: Damn it all, my first match reviewing Lucha Underground and it’s a Sexy Star match? This is quite the initiation process we have here at Segunda Caida. Really can’t wait for the pledging ceremony, where I’ll probably be forced to watch every Tiger Ali Singh/Antonio Inoki match. At least this match is with Mariposa, who is someone I’m betting Star can’t try and get unprofessional with. Man, it’s been a while since I’ve really heard Matt Striker commentary, but his overpronounciation of Spanish accents is extremely grating. Sexy actually throws a nice rana and does a pretty dang good tope con hilo through the middle ropes that Mariposa takes like a champ. Striker says Sexy has the “lucha advantage,” whatever that is. Sexy’s arm looks legit messed up, which means irony is absolutely the theme of this match. Mariposa’s ridiculous inverted Indian Deathlock while kicking Sexy in the head is amazing and someone needs to steal that. I love Cheerleader Melissa so much. Sexy finishes with an alright double stomp, but this match didn’t really have much to it. Marty then comes in afterwards and chokeslams his sister because this show doesn’t have enough male-on-female violence in the first place, I guess.

TL: The Rabbit Tribe gimmick is funny if only because I feel Paul London actually got told to do drugs before coming to the tapings. Would much rather watch Special K matches, though. Although now I’m thinking about watching Low Ki going crazy on Mala Suerte and I’m all about it. Gotta love Mascarita Sagrada curling literally more than his own bodyweight.

2. The Rabbit Tribe (Paul London/Mala Suerte/Saltador) vs. Drago/Pindar/Vibora

ER: This was a bunch of fun, mostly until Vibora got involved with his lizard Lance Hoyt vibes. I really love Pindar's mask, and Steve Pain is awesome. Love the Pindar/Suerte match-up. Cholo was one of the best things about the earlier seasons so it's nice to have him back, and that springboard headscissors was slick. Pindar hits a violent powerslam, but we can never get too far into overdrive as Vibora is always right there waiting to slow things down. Post match Aerostar/Fenix run-in was fun, but they're going to have to get pretty creative to work around luchasaurus. I hope they can find the right balance.

TL: Haven’t seen either Pinda (Steve Pain) or Vibora (Austin Matelson) before, although Striker sells Vibora as a 7-footer (he’s 6’5”) and now I wonder if I can book myself (at 6’3) as the 7-Foot Broadcaster. Lifts probably don’t help at the table. Vibora gets the “Luchasaurus” chant after Drago gets a short showcase spot or two, as he got forced into this match thanks to Kobra Moon’s insistence. The match has some Rabbit Tribe goofiness, although the reptiles do a cool double team big boot/Towerhacker Bomb (one of my favorite moves). Drago almost kills Saltador dead with a flipping neckbreaker to finish. Another match that kinda dragged through the steps towards a finish, mostly thanks to the big guy. I’m with Eric on Pain, though. Dude looked good. Drago gets saved post-match by Fenix and Aerostar, with Aerostar doing some ridiculous acrobatics as per usual, including an outside-in springboard into an assisted Codebreaker. I mean, if you’re gonna go big, at least go as big and ridiculous as possible.

ER: You need the lifts for when we walk out, then you need a phone book on you chair so that the 7' tag plays while sitting down. There you have it. 7 Feet of broadcasting fury!

TL: I’ve worked for two baseball teams in my life and for six years I’ve seen some absolutely ridiculously complex handshakes between teammates, which made the camera work on the handshake between Sexy and Mack look more overchoreographed than the handshake itself, an extremely difficult task. Someone really loves their jump cuts in the editing room.

3. Johnny Mundo vs. The Mack

ER: Fun match with a really poorly executed finish. And I'm not sure when Mack is going to completely tilt all the way into "Al Snow working 1999 WWE tribute spots at minor league baseball stadiums", but doing the stunner and people's elbow are probably way better for his body longterm than flying kicks and moonsaults. I thought this was supposed to be the title match, but instead we get a "winner picks the stipulation for the title match that will air in several months" match. This felt like whatever a touring match would be between these two. I liked Mack's sit out powerbombs, did not like Vampiro honing his Austin Power's impression during the match. That interference at the end took forever. Mack looked like a doofus.

TL: I find it really odd it took so long for Mundo to get the title considering he’s probably easily the most marketable talent they have on the show, but hey, what do I know? It’s not like he got a role on a hit Netflix show or anything. They REALLY play up the racial/socioeconomic difference on commentary and I get really uncomfortable for a moment as Vampiro sticks his foot in his mouth. I loved Mundo’s WWECW singles run, as he did well with the long TV matches, and this is very reminiscent of those. Pretty boy bully athleticism to play to his advantages (he stops himself on a springboard that was really nifty), gives Mack some big moments, and does some good transitions (liked the cat and mouse with the stuff under the ring). Agree with Eric on Mack’s sitout powerbomb, which looked sick and was very Spirit Bomb-esque. Really don’t get Marty Elias taking that much time looking outside the ring, but yeah, that finish took way too damn long. Was really hoping the “All Night Long” stip was a Lionel Richie karaoke contest.

ER: Loved Muertes beating the hell out of Vampiro, but really hoping it doesn't lead to any kind of feud. Still, Muertes needed a cool moment, and coming out just to rush Vampiro felt kinda cool.

TL: Even more than that finish, I REALLY don’t get how Vampiro couldn’t get out of the Flatliner while telling Puma “No!” but dug Muertes whooping up on him nonetheless. You’d think after dealing with Konnan that Puma would have learned his lesson messing with the carniest of luchadors, but man he’s really playing Lucha Sting here to a T. If Vampiro turns on him, he’s got nobody to blame but himself.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 15: En La Sombras

1. Killshot vs. Dante Fox vs. Mariposa vs. Jeremiah Crane

ER: I thought this was one of the more successful 4 way scrambles of the season. Participants don't always matter in these matches, as there's enough down time for everybody that people can be hidden. But layout is important and you need a traffic director, and people need to hit their stuff. It got a little kick-y and way too sound effects-y at one point (there's a spot down the home stretch where everybody is hitting a variety of kicks, back to back, and all of them have the exact same sound effect, so you were just getting that Slim Jim snap every two seconds), but this was a fun 10 minutes. Fox hit a bunch of rabid succession dives, and then Crane levels him with his awesome low tope. We get a ridiculous chair tower spot that leads to Mariposa throwing nasty chair shots at everyone, throwing chairs around like Necro Butcher, hitting guys at annoying angles with unfolded chairs, really fun bit of violence. Crane felt like he was running things in there, hanging back for the flip offense and always there to cut things off and keep it flowing. The postscript of the match was terrible though, with our final image being the continuing feud of Killshot/Fox, and Killshot hitting his finisher. And I still have zero clue what his finisher is supposed to be. He always just stomps both feet next to his opponent's head. Is it supposed to look like he's stomping the guy's face? Is it a bad bombs away? Whatever it is, no part of him makes any sort of contact with his opponent. Is the fear of another human being leaping high into the sky and *almost* landing on your face enough to paralyze one man long enough to get a 3 count? I'd probably be pretty rattled if I were lying around somewhere, and somebody almost landed on my face. So that's probably it. We'll go with that.

MD: I wanted to name this review: "Night of a Thousand Kicks." that's what this match felt like. In general, though, and this might just be me not watching a lot of super indy multimans and tags, I was really impressed by the complexity of the layout of this. There was a ton for these guys to keep track of and they did so pretty smoothly. I'm tempted to agree with Eric and give the credit for that to Crane. On the other hand, when you have this many strikes and kicks, none of them end up meaning anything. As much as I loved the image of the chairs (and it makes sense because Callihan's the world's best Ambrose), the unprotected shot meant nothing and was totally unnecessary. If you're going to do a spot like that, make it matter. On the other hand, Mariposa's shoulder blocks felt like they did matter because it was such a striking image to have the female in the match be the bully. They completely made it work and believable. Striker insinuating on commentary that insane Mariposa was somehow inspired, like the rest of America, by Sexy Star was pretty maddening though. And sure, if the shoulder blocks resonated, her tossing chairs around the ring absolutely did. She was a total bruiser in this match, even getting to finish the Tower of doom spot. I liked how frustrated she was in not winning the match too. Reactions like that are important in putting over the stakes. Killshot was generally as annoying as usual. Fox wasn't much better (and they're both all the worse for being neither heels nor faces; just being there). And yes, absolutely, on a show that's so heavily produced, why would they so clearly show us Killshot whiffing on his post-match finisher?

ER: There's not much worse than slo mo training in a dark gym to soft flamenco guitar plucking, and then finding a spider in your locker. Yucky! Luckily, that spider was in the locker of the woman who has overcome more than any woman in history.

MD: The Sexy Star thing wasn't so bad in 2x speed. She was hitting that bag super fast.

2. Kobra Moon vs. Drago

ER: Not a lot of LU matches end in a DQ, so I guess that makes this one noteworthy? According to Vampiro, Kobra Moon might not have any bones or cartilage, which I suppose could explain some of the clumsiness. I thought Drago looked quite good in the limited time we got; he did this single leg while shrugging her other leg over his body with his shoulder that looked smooth in a nice understated way. The smaller lizard person looks like Dirk Benedict at the end of Sssssss ("Don't say it, hiss it!").

MD: I'm thinking they should probably have done this over a span of three weeks right? Lizard guy one could debut after a normal Drago squash and look good in the debut. The next week, the trios champs could run him off. Then Lizard Kane could show up on week 3? That would have made everyone look stronger. This way Lizard Kane (did they have to give him both the Chokeslam AND the Tombstone?) was the only one who really got over. Drago's trip-based offense looked better than Angelico's trip based offense later in the night at least. His Dominator was brutal. I can't believe they let Ron Simmons do that week in and week out in 1996.

ER: Sexy Star has shown more anger and passion over this spider in her locker than she showed following her six months as a kidnapped slave. I'm starting to think Sexy Star is really bad at this.

MD: Hey, they made the Iron Fist hallway fight look good. Is this the first real time we've heard Mariposa speak? That's a mistake.

3. Jack Evans vs. PJ Black vs. Son of Havoc vs. Angelico

ER: This was quite the worst of stupid multiman spots, with tons of really bad set ups for moves that didn't look great anyway. PJ Black standing bent at the waist holding Angelico's waistband for an eternity, just to set up Havoc doing a double stomp, was a microcosm of this match. But it did peak with a legitimately holy shit spot with Angelico superplexing Jack Evans off the buckles to the floor. He clearly went over PJ/Havoc and took a full superplex all the way to the floor. Crazy, insane spot, taken by an insane man. But it was fine, as Jack was back in the ring for the finish no less than 15 seconds later. Very little to love about this match.

MD: In theory, I kind of liked that they switched up the way the match was laid out compared to the other multimans and made it a bit more of a 2 vs 2 thing. In practice, they didn't lean hard enough into it. Angelico/Havoc/Ivelisse had a real connection with the crowd. They could have done more with that. I don't think this was necessary worse than some of the other Bulls matches with the contrived set ups, but when you add in the lack of (narrative) impact everything had, it was pretty grating. I liked when they dumped Havoc out of the ring and that did set up an Angelico vs the World bit, but the bit itself was so bad that it didn't really earn any lasting goodwill. And hey, Angelico looks like a putz after they set up his return.

ER: This, right here, was a bad episode of professional wrestling.

MD: I'd call it more middling. That first multiman, while not necessarily a good professional wrestling match, was at least an impressive spectacle.

ER: I will compromise and say, "This, right here, was not a good episode of professional wrestling."


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Lucha Underground Season 3, Episode 11: Aztec Warfare III

AZTEC WARFARE III

feat. Matanza, Johnny Mundo, Son of Havoc, Jeremiah Crane, Pentagon Jr., PJ Black, Mariposa, Rey Mysterio, Dr. Wagner Jr., Marty "The Moth" Martinez, Jack Evans, Sexy Star, Ricky Mandel, Mascarita Sagrada, Famous B, The Mack, Joey Ryan, Mil Muertes, Kobra Moon, Drago

ER: Ugh. I knew it was happening. The second Matanza got eliminated I checked my notes to see who was still left in the match, and even though I was watching alone, I groaned aloud "Oh, nooooo," into the darkness of my living room. I don't think anybody can make a reasonable argument that she looked better than one person in this match. There were a couple guys like Mascarita and Mandel who got eliminated immediately, but we've seen those two before and know that not every piece of offense they do looks like garbage. You cannot say that same thing about Star. She looked so bad in this, botching the simplest roll ups and looking completely ineffective. I have no idea why LU is going all in on Sexy Star. I haven't known for the entire duration of LU. And they really should have had the few Sexy Star superfan plants sitting separately, and not so obviously cutting to their reactions. Bush league move from a fed who often gets those little details right. But obviously they lose all logic when it comes to her.

It's also weird how much of a non-factor Wagner is. For a guy who cares about his image so much, it's weird to see him treated like he was essentially Super Calo in WCW. And my do some of Mundo's flips look bad. At once point he vaulted off PJ Black's back, flipped, and landed on his own head.

The rest of the match had plenty of nice moments. Matanza adding an extra spin to his Wrath of the Gods. All of Crane's kicks. Rey yanking Famous B into the ropes by his necktie and Famous B's subsequent selling of the 619. Jack Evans perhaps with the performance of the match, flying into things like a lunatic. Shout outs to Matanza's chair bumps. Moth's huge dive. Mack's giant flip dive. I even enjoyed that fun run in from Fox Force Four. But shit man, that ending.

MD: This is all Johnny Mundo's fault. He originally had 12. I really liked that initial skit bit too, with Taya playing the moll with the camera and Dario ripping up the number. It was especially great that Melissa still called it random draw too. That said, it meant he became 2 and Sexy Star became 12. Now, then, the counter point to this is that she could have been in the entire first half of the match too. While I'm harping on the beginning, Striker is the worst. Yes, we get it that we see the backstage stuff and he doesn't, but the idea that he's just getting word that Mundo isn't cashing in when Dario, basically the only other person who can give him word is accounted for is just goofy. What, the Lucha Underground Championship Committee sent him a telegram?

Look, Eric bitched about Sexy Star for a paragraph and then spent like, five other sentences talking about the rest of the match. You can see it right there. I have to lean into the pre-match detail here.

In all seriousness, I agree about the nice moments. There were a ton and Matanza was behind a lot of them. Him dragging Mundo in to the ring to give him a German; him grabbing Son of Havoc's (who can often wrestle bigger than he is) beard and then some of the choreography between the two just before Crane came in; him taking out everyone pissed off after Pentagon ambushed him on the floor; the tease with Mariposa; the way he just killed Crane with that German (even if that meant Crane left too early); getting slapped(!) by Marty; the double twist Wrath on Sagrada; the spinout Belly-to-Back to get Wagner and the double pin and stare off with Mil that followed; and him just destroying Rey. This was Matanza's match.

In general, I love the amount of thought they put into this. There was always another set piece, always another bit of action, always interaction between wrestlers, and frankly, even for as small a group as LU, a lot of these match ups did seem fresh. Marty, especially, getting to interact with all sorts of people, or just a little bit of Pentagon and Wagner trying to work together against Rey. The Rey/B stuff was tons of fun. The ninjas vs Pentagon bit was fun. The problem is that they didn't manage the negative space well. They kept things moving along at such a pace that nothing ever set in enough to mean as much as it should.

Striker was pretty terrible throughout this. For instance, calling Worldwide Underground "One Powerful Luchador" together was a great way to undercut one of their lead heels and title holders in Mundo. Then there was the post-match spiel as he carefully read his pre-written book report on Sexy Star winning. Brutal. They didn't frame the moment well either. They faded to black way soon. Good booking decision or bad booking decision, the value in putting Sexy Star over is in milking the moment. They're usually good at that, but here it just faded to black, so that the last image you saw was basically this:

(https://j.gifs.com/xGw96B.gif)

I know I associate this miraculous title win with bagel bites. What about you?

ER: I like to think that I did less bitching, and more "writing justified complaints".


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 10: Ready for War

1. Believer's Backlash: Famous B vs. Mascarita Sagrada

ER: This was exactly what it should have been and very fun. Famous B put on a helluva show with pratfall bumps, weapons improv and amusing vain comedy. He took all of Mascarita's shots and made them look gold, bumping huge on a football helmet headbutt, tripping and falling into a giant bag of popcorm, really just doofing it up all around the temple. Brenda gets piefaced, Sagrada hits a big elbowdrop of a step ladder on the announce table, and this was as long as it should have been. I would have liked to see some more random fan weapons used. And I always wondered how that worked. Do fans really bring their own objects to use as weapons, or does the fed pass them out? It would be a hilarious visual to see a bunch of wrestling fans milling about the street all carrying makeshift clubs and frying pans. I assume we'll see pictures of fans waiting in line for this taping spread across InfoWars as PROOF of an unpatriotic liberal uprising.

MD: I'm sure it's been done before but this was the Let's Make a Deal version of the "Fans Bring the Weapons" match. I loved the guy with the football. I also really love B's Jimmy Hart style jacket for Wagner. In a promotion where they tout Chavo Guerrero Jr. as a lucha legend, the Arrogance can was the most self-aware thing they've ever done. It's telling that it was proclaiming an awareness for 1991 WWF TV as opposed to actual lucha libre. My favorite bit was the magic wand and hat though. I would have been perfectly happy if that was the finish. They went on after that but not really to the match's detriment. Anyway, this was hugely feel good, a season ending sort of thing. I'm curious what the follow up will be.

MD: I'm not sure if Eric caught it but Daga got killed off screen. This is a wrestling promotion where people get killed off screen by members of the reptile clan. Also embarrassing fart jokes, so there you go.

ER: I completely missed that. Just like I missed Ryck apparently being killed in a comic book. And the Jack Chick tract detailing Vampiro's dark arts propaganda.

2. Marty The Moth Martinez, Jeremiah Crane, The Mack, Ivelisse & Mariposa vs. Cage, Texano, Dante Fox, Killshot & Argenis

ER: This was fun until the faceplant finish. It's a shame it was only 6 minutes as 10 people could milk this for way more fun. Plus short match time + large amount of match participants = Striker feeling the need to talk louder and faster to get his hack jokes in. Crane made a nice debut, Cage looked killer and hit one of his best 360 lariats, Mack hits his giant fat guy dive, Striker reminds me I still have two Cage/Texano matches to watch, and everything is flowing wonderfully...and then we get an immediate rudo turn by Fox, at the exact same time we're getting an injury angle (?), with Ivelisse rolling to the floor holding her ankle going Not Again! Dante Fox hits one of the most improbable drivers possible to turn on Killshot, really moving through several points of dance just to go through the trouble of getting him on his shoulders. Grab an arm, now the other, cross them, extend them, curl them tight to the body, now lift! It took as long for me to type that as it did for Fox to physically go through the motions. It looked terrible. Killshot has only been tolerable when matched against a larger dude who he can bump for. Now he'll be matched with a guy the exact same size as him doing the exact same flips. Yuck. Fox's inverted cannonball to the floor was sick though.

MD: With the exception of Argenis, everyone here had some sort of purpose or issue. Some of that is Marty just being an all out scumbag who pisses off everyone, but in general it highlights the strength of the promotion. I'm with Eric on Killshot. I've liked him well enough in a cinematic brawl or in a mismatch but he's the last guy you want in one of these multiman flipfests. I thought Crane looked good in his first actual match though you ended up forgetting him in the morass. It probably wasn't the best way to introduce the crowd to his stuff. As disposable Lucha Underground wrestling goes, this was fun, sure.

3. Grave Consequences: Mil Muertes vs. Prince Puma

ER: They've had a lot of fun with this gimmick and this match was no different. The match wasn't as good as the first one, but probably better than the one with Matanza. Puma starts it off big by jumping Mil and leaping from the back of the temple down into the crowd. All of the spots with the casket are always super impressive. That thing looks heavy as hell so it adds a lot of realism to the stuff they're doing around it. And all the spots into that casket always look back breaking. Both men bounce off it in painful ways, but that's not enough as Puma decides it's best for him to go through several tables. The chokeslam off the top through tables looked nuts, the spear through a table was great (with a piece of table almost hanging in air before dropping across Muertes' head), and Puma even made "normal" moves look devastating, like the flatliner on the floor. Muertes' big gimmick stip matches are as close to a guarantee as you can get to a good match. Although, am I the only one who thought this match just kind of...happened? The build really didn't seem strong, it just felt like the time of the season dictated the match. "Well, a Grave Consequences match has taken place about 10 episodes into the other seasons, so it's time to do another one!" Felt much more like Hell in a Cell happening because it's the month that Hell in a Cell happens, much less like "this match NEEDS to be Grave Consequences!"

MD: I'd rank this one in the middle as well. I did like the callbacks to Konnan. I don't know if he's on the outs with LU at this point or what (I think Vampiro replaced him in AAA), but if he is (and wouldn't he be on TV if he wasn't?), they deserve all the more credit for referencing him for the sake of story despite that. I was more into the general build for this than Eric. Vampiro goading Puma into it happened over a span of weeks and it certainly seemed big enough. Part of that depends on where they go from here, though.

I think the familiarity helped relative to the first one with Fenix. We know these characters a lot better by now. They've presented Puma as a star from day one. It made sense that he'd be able to hang with Muertes, even as he bounced off him, and I thought Puma wrestled well as an Ace fighting a monster in his own match.

The set pieces more or less made this. The 630 onto the coffin was crazy. The ring hook was gnarly. The powerbomb onto the coffin earlier in the match almost made the long, long time that Muertes took to set things up forgivable. It's telling that Eric, without the two of us comparing notes, picked a few completely different moments to highlight. I don't think I've actively got excited for anything on this show quite like the handstand reversal out of the Flatliner, though. That's probably the spot of the season.

They gave it all gravitas at the end by not doing a skit after the match like they normally do. So, yeah, I thought this felt weightier than Eric, but a lot of it does depend on where things go from here.


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 5: The Prince and The Monster

1. Ivelisse vs. Mariposa

ER: Striker is stunned Moth is out with Mariposa, because Moth was in a BRUTAL match against Killshot. Moth must not remember too much about that as he was not acting any differently than he did before that match. And really, he shouldn't be. That was three weeks ago. Guys have come back from getting their arm broken by Pentagon quicker than that. If there's any shocking returns from that weapons of mass destruction match, it's Striker being allowed to return to commentary. I liked this match, even if it didn't really feel like a "Lucha Underground" match, whatever that means. I think Ivelisse is a real good underdog, even if Mariposa could have been more punishing. Ivelisse is always really good in submissions, and I dug the inverted cloverleaf used here. Also really liked the finish (even if it was pretty stumbly), with the top down camera actually being useful as it showed Ivelisse trying to kick her legs to slip out of the Gory special, finally doing so, and then leaving Mariposa in a perfect position to hit the sunset flip powerbomb. I like that moved used as a flash pin. Match had execution problems, and was a little slow, but I thought it worked.

MD: It's almost pointless to harp on Striker at this point, but he just has that special ability to grate. Here he talked about past Ivelisse opponents Mil Muertes and Sexy Star on equal footing. Those two, very similar, very difficult opponents. This promotion hitching their wagon to Sexy Star is really one of the more bizarre  things any fed has ever done. They could have admitted their mistake any time and bumped her back down the hierarchy, but they just keep digging in their heels. As expected Marty the Moth was a great valet presence throughout this, but almost too great compared to the presence of those in the ring. It's tough to have him affiliated with Mariposa as it's too easy for him to outshine her. I think she's been overall good with what she's given, and think she's hit a good note with her surreal body language. But the body language could be distracting her from actual ring work, as her offense seems more subdued than what we've previously seen from her (as Melissa).

ER: Dario's reaction to Mundo's abs reveal was perfect. It was a combination of disdain for him showing his abs in his office, combined with an undeniable admiration of Mundo's abs, all while feigning disgust. The appropriate reaction.

2. Cage vs. Texano

ER: This is the 2nd match of the 5 match series that did not need to happen. If you could choose a 5 match series between any two guys in LU, how many combos would you have to make before you got down to Cage vs. Texano? Match wasn't very good, either. Texano really is a total zero in LU. I'm sure there are many viewers who have no clue he's any kind of deal in Mexico. I like Matt's use of the word "weightless", because as I was watching this I was thinking about how nothing they did had any weight to it. It was like that Eric Bana Hulk movie, with Hulk just jumping and bouncing around off things. The weight was wrong. Obviously they were in there doing the moves, and I liked Cage's bump to the floor and big suplex into the ring, but they were both selling things like Petey Williams. And lucky us, we'll get to see 3 more chances to get it right!!!

MD: Texano isn't a big deal? Isn't he the youngest and longest-holding super mega ultimate champion ever or what not? Is that better or worse than being Rey Cometa and having the company you work for forget you're a champion? I'd rather see Rey Cometa vs Cage, though. That's for sure. Here, the most painful thing is either Vampiro hyping this up or the dueling chants. Or maybe the This is Awesome chant. Or the Ridiculously Huge Package reversal out of the suplex by Cage. I did think this built better than the first one, but I lament that Texano isn't teaming with Terrible and Rey Bucanero against Stuka, Angel De Oro and Guerrero Maya, Jr on the third match of a Tuesday Arena Mexico show and wish that someone hadn't given Cage this specific set of Create-A-Wrestler offense just to see if they could break the game's graphic engine because he's so massive.

ER: "What we have, is a lot stronger than what you and Son of Chaos had." Ivelisse makes poor choices in men, but it appears that Sami Callihan at least has a name (Jeremiah). Unless he is Son of Jeremiah. I'm glad people don't refer to me as Son of Franklin.

MD: I am morbidly fascinated to see Sami Callihan vs Sexy Star too. Actually, an eventual Sami Callihan vs Son of Havoc match would be fun. Wait, are we getting Sami vs Marty soon? This is a rare time on LU where I'd rather see a match than a skit.

3. Prince Puma vs. Matanza

MD: I think we all knew where this one was going. More often than not Lucha Undeground booking will take the path of least resistance. Obviously after last week (and the week before) this was ending with Muertes coming out. In the meantime, however, they made the most of the time that they had and this felt like a big main event, one of the biggest they could put on. Puma comes off like both a star and a world-beater. Matanza is an absolutely force of nature. Everything that Puma did to Matanza felt earned and credible. There wasn't the suspension of disbelief issues we saw in some of the other wheel-made matches this season. At the same time, Matanza created the palpable anticipation that he could take back control at any moment. There were two instances where he picked up Puma like he was a baby and there was absolutely nothing Puma could do (except for get lawn-darted into the metal). The dangling ragdoll German is probably the best move of 2016, with Wrath of the Gods a close second. In some ways this match was fortunate for not needing a finish. It meant that they could tell a story of Puma overcoming the odds through strength and skill and sheer will power without having to actually go through with it. Him basically deadlifting Matanza up after the Northern Lights was a really memorable moment and it was matched shortly thereafter by Matanza just eating a kick to the skull so that he could cradle suplex Puma. I ran high on this as an incomplete match but a great spectacle. One note on commentary: Vampiro, while amiable and often entertaining is the absolute death of analysis; Striker will feed him a thought about strategy or try to make sense of something they just saw and Vampiro will shrug it off with some empty platitude about just surviving or something.

ER: I really loved this match, an easy standout in season 3 so far. I even liked the run-in finish as I didn't want either guy to lose definitively, thought it set up more Puma/Muertes nicely, loved how Dario shouted at Marty Elias about it suddenly being a DQ; yeah, that last part felt Austin/MacMahon-y but I thought Dario's execution made it. And I thought the match itself was really really good, easily the best Cobb LU match. Match was smartly worked and had some wonderful big moments, with Matanza doing his relentless Olympian Michael Myers bit while Puma scrambles to stay ahead. I loved Puma's body language as he dodged Matanza and nailed the punt from the ring apron, loved his kicks and strikes to keep Matanza at bay and loved what Matanza would do when he would get ahold of him. Cobb/Matanza's multi lift German is my favorite move in wrestling, just as Tamon Honda's Dead End suplex was my favorite the first time I saw it. Making a man think about his own body's imminent accordioning obviously appeals to me. Matanza could very well just be watching a lot of early 2000s NOAH while lounging in his cage during his downtime, as he catches a Puma high kick with his neck and then destroys him, right out of the "Things Tamon Honda does that make me flip out" handbook. But I really loved how these two matched up, was into the match enough that I had actually stopped thinking about Mil Muertes' inevitable run-in. The northern lights into a deadlift suplex was such an unexpected holy shit moment, and I had just gotten sucked into the thing. Once Puma hit the 630 I actually thought he could win this thing. Loved this.

MD: With Joey Ryan's "What am I, a detective?" line, I've decided that it's a writer and not the wrestlers coming up with the one-liners. Outside of Jerry Lawler's jokebook, wrestling hasn't had consistently good one-liners in twenty-five years. And hey, it's only twenty years since the Craig "Pit Bull" Pittman vs Cobra left behind storyline. I wonder what Pittman's doing right now, actually. I'd watch him over Killshot any day.

ER: (Silent praise and admiration for Matt invoking memories of the Craig Pittman/Cobra angle. This is what that "hands together with sparkles around it" emoji was made for)


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Lucha Underground Season 2 Episode 25: Ultima Lucha Dos - Part II

1. Daga vs. Sinestro de la Muerte vs. Mariposa vs. Marty the Moth Martinez vs. Sexy Star vs. Killshot vs. Night Claw

ER: I enjoyed this a lot more than I thought I would, and that's with Sexy Star just Sexy Starring all over the place (I mean, she *literally* had to have her hand held through portions of this). Typically these Gift of the Gods multimans have been total messes, as matches with odd numbers tend to be. But this match had a flat out terrific performance from Marty the Moth that just transcended the whole thing. I also thought this was Daga's best performance in LU, they got Sinestro out of there quick, and for a guy I've (deservedly) dumped on, Killshot probably had his best moments too. I really wasn't impressed with Night Claw. His mask was dorky as hell, and his move set up was interminable. He and Daga just slowly climbing opposite sides of a turnbuckle without even pretending to show animosity to one another was just embarrassing. At least they had the good sense to show Kobra Moon licking her chops at Daga during part of the set up. But yeah, Night Claw didn't move the needle for me. No, this match was all about The Moth. Everybody else could have totally stunk (and there was plenty of stink) and this still would have been pretty great just because of The Moth. This guy did it all during the match, kept his stories straight with Sexy Star and Killshot and Melissa Santos, taunting and leering at all three of them when applicable. He bumped around huge and made everybody look like a killer, the best being his great bump to the floor and into the barricade, and that absolutely BRUTAL bump in the Temple steps. I rewound that a few times. He bumped hard into them, the way someone usually bumps into the WWE ring steps, except THOSE steps actually move, these steps likely just provided Moth with a arthritic rotator cuff the rest of his life. So he falls all around, makes his arm look all hyperextended while in a terrible armbar, adds personality that nobody else bothers with (everybody else just relies on Striker to fill in their intentions and emotions, Moth actually knows how to convey them), and essentially you have a one man show. But it was an awesome show.

MD: Glad to see I'm on the same page with Eric. I came out of this match just wanting to see Marty bump and stooge and interact with people. I think, currently, the most exciting match Lucha Underground can put on for me is Marty vs Rey. That said, there were frustrations here that didn't just have to do with Sexy Star's execution (and that WAS a problem. I'm not an execution guy in the least, but when it's the central story of the match, it has to hold up. You can't be seeing the strings and there were points, like with her Fujiwara Armbar, where I was). I'm also on board with Marty being the only one fully committing himself. At one point after eating a dive, Nightclaw's idea of selling was to adjust his wristbands in the least subtle way possible. I wish Mariposa leaned into her character a little more too. I think she had in previous matches but whereas this created opportunities for Marty, it may have made it harder with everyone else, having to hit their spots. And there was just too much collaboration (especially with Daga and Nightclaw but not just).

MD: The bigger problem was something we'll see up and down the finale. My impression from interviews I've read is that they see season 2 and 3 as one bit mega-season and it showed. There was far more of a sense of finality in the first Ultima Lucha. There was less of that in this, especially since we'd already seen Gift of the Gods once this (shorter) season. It had felt like the whole back half of Season 1 was leading up to it. Here we had Cobra Moon lingering but then not even advancing and no resolution with Killshot and Marty. Worse than that was the fact we'd already seen the resolution of this particular Sexy Star arc. She'd fought back, finally, against her opressors, and then she won the big match against Mariposa. That they were crashing up against each other again felt like an afterthought or a retread. It didn't feel like a culmination. Despite that, the fans were sure behind her, so you have to give them that, I suppose. This just wasn't clean in a narrative sense to me, and that, more than anything else, tends to be Lucha Underground's biggest strength. Without that, the entire enterprise is on shaky ground.

ER: My god these cop show segments. I don't even know what to say anymore. Could Castro have given a worse read? How many takes was this? Will someone ever stand up and take credit for this storyline?

2. Death Match: King Cuerno vs. Mil Muertes

ER: Yeah this was awesome. As it started I actually thought it was going to be Mil just steamrolling Cuerno, and that would kind of make sense considering how Cuerno has been treated this season. He really hasn't been booked as a guy who should be able to hang with Muertes. All season he's been booked as the least important man in 6 man tags, and losing almost all of his singles matches. So when Muertes came out and just plowed through him the first few minutes I thought "yep this seems right" and figured I would just sit back and enjoy Cuerno getting knocked upside down by lariats and tossed through stacks of chairs. But then Cuerno hits his awesome tope and a big crossbody off the railing and suddenly Cuerno is punching Muertes in the face all the way up the Temple steps, and Muertes goes face first through a window. Cuerno tumbles all the way back down the Temple steps and man we've got a fight. I loved Cuerno shoving Catrina outs of the way, which sets off a wild mama bear instinct in Muertes, with him violently plastering Cuerno through all of the tables that had been set up earlier. Out of control brawls seem to be LU's specialty, and this was a good one.

MD: I liked Cuerno vs Muertes, but what it really showed me was how much I'd like Muertes vs Hijo del Fantasma, who I always thought was a really good traditional tecnico. He is someone I wish was still in CMLL. Guerrero Maya, Jr. sort of plays that role there now (and he's a tremendous rudo too when given the chance), but Fantasma could do it at the top of the card. Most of his big comebacks felt more tecnico-driven, and I just think the two of them could have an amazing match within those roles. Here, with things as they were, it was harder to care about the comeback as much, both for myself and the crowd, and that was a shame because it was all gritty and visceral. There were some great visuals, like Muertes dragging Cuerno out for the TKO on the floor (even if the wrestling physics of that were off), the window no-sell and the spear to save Catrina. If nothing else, they introduced the idea of the crowbar as a death-weapon, which is always a good thing to have. This just felt inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, a main event of a pre-show, and Muertes deserves better than that.

ER: And then we can't close a show without some high end police drama. Oooooooo their informant got MURDERED by Dario! Oh no! How will they solve it in the ring!? I hate it.

MD: The biggest sin on the cop stuff (having seen the start of season 3) is that any consequence to it was undone so quickly. That was another frustration with Season 2. They should have run longer with Catrina being in charge of the temple and the differences of atmosphere involved. This stuff is a lot easier to swallow if it matters in the grand scheme of things.


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Lucha Underground Season 2 Episode 22: Fame & Fortune

ER: Having Voodoo Glow Skulls on every week really brings me back to high school. I had no clue those guys were still going. I wonder what the Pietasters are up to.

1. Daga vs. Mascarita Sagrada

ER: Striker keeps pointing out that Sagrada hasn't won a match since signing up with Famous B, but he's failing to mention that Sagrada is also getting far more opportunities than he did before. Yeah he was on the winning side of a couple six mans last season, but now he's getting into actual contender matches. I'm not sure how him losing those matches is any fault of Famous B. We might just have to come to terms with the fact that Sagrada is 65 pounds, and that *may* be holding him back. It's cute that Daga leaps way into ranas for him, but really either Striker is missing the point of this storyline, or more likely they have no actual idea what the eventual outcome of this storyline is going to be. And they probably should have picked a different fan to cut to than the girl who was laughing while Famous B was kicking the shit out of Sagrada. I know lucha cameramen are taught to look for cute girls in the crowd, but maybe there was a better time to show her?

2. Cortez Castro, Mr. Cisco & Joey Ryan vs. Killshot, Sinestro de la Muerte & Marty "The Moth" Martinez

ER:  Pretty hard for the LU crowd to muster a lot of energy for this one. Even Vampiro noted how quiet they were at one point. It wasn't a bad match, but it wasn't very good. I liked Moth and Cisco in this, but they were canceled out by Sinestro fucking up every single person's timing (man is he bad) and a few brief but epically goofy Killshot spots that required every person in the match to kill time standing in position so he could do some convoluted flip fuckery. "Killshot with the tactical advantage," says Striker. It's easy to get a "tactical advantage" when Castro wanders onto the apron near no other wrestler, and all the other wrestlers start to cluster in a specific spot, just so Killshot can then vault off of Castro onto everybody, but mostly his partners. It could not have come off less organic. Striker always talks about what an inspiration Sexy Star is, so it's weird to also talk about how much he likes The Moth. "I know Hank raped Debbie, and don't get me wrong I love Debbie....but Hank is kind of cool too! He invited me to a fun BBQ, let's me use his Hulu password and....I don't know I just like the guy!" I get it, Striker likes every worker on the roster and they all get him HYPED, but maybe the fed shouldn't have run a kidnapping/sexual assault angle so every person involved doesn't look like dumb assholes afterwards. Anyway, Cisco had a bunch of cool armdrags, Castro surprised me by bringing some nice strikes, and Moth really knows how to take stupid offense nicely. But this draaaaaggggged. At one point I thought we were well around the 15 minute mark, but we were barely 7 in. After the match Moth steals Killshot's stupid fucking dogtags again, and runs away, but Killshot is faster than Moth so has to do a Barney Fife run to pretend like he can't catch him. Ugh.

3. Sexy Star & Mariposa vs. Taya & Ivelisse

ER: This match wasn't very long, just 10 minutes, but boy did it feel long. It's like they went from editing things super tight to make all the matches seem as exciting as possible, to not editing them in any way and not piping in any sort of crowd noise. These last two weeks have had more stretches of silent crowd than any other episodes combined. These all just feel like quiet, slowly worked Smackdown matches. It's kind of a jarring change of pace. Taya is good at working opposite Sexy Star, though Mariposa and Star are horrible forced tag partners considering their past. I don't need them to be at each other's throats but they didn't even seem like they had a problem with each other. This whole thing was pretty dryly mechanical until it spilled to the floor and we get a couple of awesome bumps into chairs and a big Ivelisse dive. But even then the psychology was out the window as the winning pin would advance the winner to Ultima Lucha, but nobody felt like they were trying to scramble to get the pin. It felt like the wrestlers didn't know the rules and they just added them in after the tapings.

ER: Striker is now calling Prince Puma "The face of the franchise" which is weird since a few weeks ago he screamed "A new star is born!!!" after Puma got the pinfall in a six man. Both comments are weird, as Puma was clearly already a star, well before the 54th episode of the show. But saying he's now the face of the franchise doesn't sound right either, as up until this interview challenging Mysterio he hasn't felt like much of a focal point this season. Mysterio comes out and accepts the match, and I cannot deny that I'm excited for those two matching up in a singles. Curious if they'll work it tecnico/tecnico or if Puma will work subtle rudo. Actually, I'd flip out if Rey worked subtle heel, like a couple moments of Puma working faster than him leading to Rey landing an untoward kick or something. But I'm getting ahead of myself. I assume it will be tecnico/tecnico.


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Lucha Underground Season 2 Episode 15: No Mas

ER: Man it's good to have Dario back in the Temple every week. His facials and little ticks when he talks to Catrina are so good. And he pronounced Matanza the same as "Ibiza". Mah-tahn-thuh.

1. Marty "The Moth" Martinez vs. The Mack

ER: Moth goes down pretty easy in this one, though he gets a couple big moves in (Mack is nuts for taking that exploder into the turnbuckles all vertical like that), but this was the Mack show. Big suplexes, great clothesline, one of the best spinning heel kicks you'll see, super fast flip dive. Glad they keep spotlighting Mack but I'd like to see him start to move up the card.

PAS: This was a fun 3 minute match, and I love watching The Mack, but I have no idea why you run this match if Mack was going to stop interference in the main event. We already saw The Mack get his revenge at the beginning of the show, why is it a big deal to see him beat on the guy some more 45 minutes later.

ER: Dario was really great broomsticking with Sexy Star. I mean if you're going to do a long Sexy Star vignette that's how you do it. Leave her to occasional one word answers and let Dario wander slowly around the office expounding on his plans to have Mariposa tortured.

PAS: This show is full of people carrying Sexy Star is she a make a wish kid or something. Is this the wrestling version of Batkid?

ER: Damn Phil Mencia didn't even wait until the body was cold to steal my Sexy Star-as-Batkid joke from earlier this season!

2. Sinestro de la Muerte vs. King Cuerno

ER: Boy they're really committed to this, huh? Not sure Cuerno is recoverable at this point. He's like the go-to guy to make look like a joke. Maybe the last remaining DoD member will be better outside of his group?

PAS: What a bummer, I guess this is why Cuerno wanted to leave. Sinestro didn't look any better in singles, one problem with taping this far in advance is they can't call audibles when stuff isn't working.

ER: There is a chance Sagrada can lift more than me.

3. Mascarita Sagrada vs. Cage

ER: Well, can't fault Famous B for getting Sagrada a chance at a medallion. This went as it should have. Sagrada gamely got tossed around, and I liked the crossface choke he locked on Cage after spinning all around him.

PAS: Feels like they were trying to get a GIF to go viral. Match made a fine GIF

4. No Mas: Mariposa vs. Sexy Star

ER: Well as I saw there was still 20 minutes left in the episode I'm sure I wasn't the only one not totally looking forward to a 20 minute Sexy Star match. This promotion can be really good with smoke and mirrors but Star has been immune to all of that so far. No matter how much they hack up her matches they still end up looking terrible. So I figured they couldn't have filmed an 80 minute match and hacked it down to 20, this had to have been a 20 minute match. And I really enjoyed it. We certainly had smoke and mirrors, but you need that kind of thing in these matches. Whatever was lacking in Star's strikes and general clunkiness was made up for by some clever uses of props, blood, an amusing tour of the Temple, and some satisfying run ins. Chair shots are one thing, but Star ups the ante by bashing Mariposa's vagina with a chair. This felt like the No Mas equivalent to a victim of sexual abuse exacting revenge. We not only get her bashing Mariposa's vagina with a chair, but several kicks as well. When in Rome. Star bleeds and Mariposa's mask ripping was really violent. The tour into the rafters was a fun way to stretch time as we get some fun dangling spots, Mariposa kicking a camera guy, and some fighting on ladders. The Moth/Mack interference was handled really well in both instances, as Moth halted a Sexy Star advantage, but Mack never gave the advantage back to her. He merely kept Moth away from her. She was still doing all of the work on her own, Mack was just giving her unfettered access to Mariposa. It would have been real easy for Mack to run in, stun Moth and then do something to Mariposa, but it was handled very smart. Early in the match the fans were shitty and chanting for Mariposa, which, no matter how limply the Star character has been portrayed, can only be seen as "trying to be cool". So the "FUCK YOU" into the mic was arguably Sexy Star's greatest moment in LU, as every single person in the Temple, even presumably the kewl kids chanting for Mariposa earlier, erupted and jumped out of their seats for Star at that moment. That's huge. This was all put together really well, and was far more satisfying and well done than I could have ever imagined. Now let's just move on.

PAS: I thought this whole storyline was super gross, your feminist hero was kidnapped and sexually abused and then she settles it in the wrestling ring. I guess this was their attempt at wrestling I Spit on Your Grave and they did a decent job covering up for Sexy Star's limitations. Crippled Vampiro is better then Sexy Star and that was a better match, but I was impressed at how well this was done. I thought the blood was a really great visual and the FUCK YOU was a great moment. Still Sexy Star really blows, Mariposa had to feed her arm for both cross armbreakers and neither of them looked good at all. Also it was a weird move to use to avenge rape, feels like a series of chairshots or a spike to the eye would have worked better.


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Lucha Underground Season 2 Episode 11: Bird of War

ER: So is the buddy cop Reyes/Ryan stuff supposed to be funny? There's some midi-sax music playing and they're cracking jokes about Matanza - a guy who Reyes witnessed eat a man's face - being released from the cage. I don't get it.

PAS: The cop stuff is some of the dumbest stuff they are doing in this fed (and they are doing some dumb stuff), it doesn't even make any internal sense and the acting in it is Spice channel bad. Joey Ryan is a pox on our house

1. Ivelisse vs. Kobra Moon

ER: I actually really liked this one. I guess it shouldn't be shocking as Ivelisse has been great so far, but Moon had a flat debut against Sexy Star and - even though any work against Sexy Star should immediately be discounted - it sucked some interest out of this one for me. And then they both went out and had a snug, nicely laid out match. Any pensiveness Moon showed against Star was gone here, as both ladies laid into each other with chops and knees. A lot of the rollups were held really tightly and there were moments were this felt like a mean fight, which I wasn't expecting. Ivelisse sold Moon's rope chokes well, and I kinda liked the hissing as a taunt to your opponent.

PAS: Yeah, Eric is riding alone on this one. I thought some of submission stuff was cool, and Ivelisse always works stiff, but Kobra Moon still looked in deep waters. Felt like a pretty decent WWE women's match from four years ago, and pretty good Alicia Fox v. Brie Bella level stuff doesn't excite me.


ER: Killshot video managed to be good and bad at the same time. Somehow they managed to incorporate his bad indy offense into him killing ISIS, and for that I love them. But who the hell was he shooting at? He fired upwards of 35 shots at ludicrous trick shot angles, practically doing an Annie Oakley Old West Shooting Show, but he would fire 5 shots in one direction, and then a terrorist from the same direction would burst onto the screen. For a guy who misses half his spots it would make sense for him to also have terrible aim. But having Killshot take down terrorists is a step up from showing somebody fighting three unnamed luchadors in a nighttime alley.

PAS: This was OK I guess, the gunshot special effect were really corny though and Killshot is a suck ass dude to get this sort of effort for.

2. Cortez Castro, Mr. Cisco & Joey Ryan vs. Marty the Moth Martinez, Mariposa & The Mack

ER: Fun trios match, if you ignore that Mack was mostly fine teaming with his "mortal enemies" who kidnapped and potentially sexually abused his best lil buddy. Mack was somewhat miffed when he didn't get the hot tag, but apparently didn't think to refuse to tag with the people who assaulted and held his friend captive. Does he just really want the trios belts that badly? Does he respect the spirit of competition so much that he will literally set aside ANY difference? Oh, that's right, we had a cooperative chop exchange between he and Marty. That should make his raped friend feel a little better.  So all of that shit is the stupidest shit possible, but right in the middle of it we got a great little Cisco/Mack roll around, a fun Cisco/Mariposa segment, Ryan dropkicking Moth right in the chin, and I like the way Moth and Mariposa work together. This was also the most work Cisco has gotten in a match and he looked killer. Post match Star at least shows some fire going after Mariposa, while Mack cheers her on. But why the fuck didn't Mack just do this himself if he wanted it for her so bad? Instead he just held the tag rope wanting the hot tag like a doof the whole match.

PAS:  Cisco is badass, and I loved his section with the Mack, but I totally agree with Eric that the Mack/Star v. Martinez siblings stuff in-ring is totally divorced from the back stage vignettes. In ring we have a testy little feud with some tag partners who don't get along. In the back Sexy Star is recovering from being stuck in a pit by Jame Gumb. It feels like they decided to film all the sexual assault stuff after the fact and retconned it in. It is pretty amazing that a show which can do so many thing so right, can do other stuff so blindingly wrong.

ER: Okay, Mysterio, Horus and Puma is a killer trios team. I am 100% on board for that.

3. Fenix vs. Matanza

ER: This was awesome. This is a monster I can get behind. Fenix just kept coming at Matanza and damn does Cobb just have some ridiculous strength. The way he caught Fenix on the tope was just unreal. He caught him with his side facing the ring! This was not a guy getting caught on a plancha, this was a man pulling a speeding bullet out of the air. all of his catches where he then adjusts mid catch, or AFTER the catch, before a slam are just incredible. That extra step to show you that Matanza has you now, and he can bend twist turn whatever while holding your corpse. He caught Fenix in mid air a few times, always pausing, turning his body in a new direction to show he was the one completely in control, and then just crushing him through the mat. This whole thing was just killer. And then full on tecnico Mil Muertes bursts into frame and I immediately get excited for a Clash of Famous Monsters. Killer stuff here.

PAS: Yeah this was the best Matanza has looked. Fenix got some offense in, but still got eaten alive. I also loved how Matanza was smashing his head against the floor like he was trying to open up a coconut, really violent looking and very different then you would normally see in a wrestling match. Muertes v. Matanza should be totally awesome. I love Clash of Titans matches and this has some of the coolest build up a match like that has ever had.

ER: Overall a good episode with the wrestling all delivering, which is all I can really ask for.


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