Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 21: Ultima Lucha Cuatro - Part 1

TL: We have gone from this series being one of the most sought after pieces of wrestling IP in a really long time to it being available for free on Tubi to watch from the built-in service that comes with my Smart TV. Just in time for us to put this show to bed for good over Ultima Lucha Cuatro. It's been so long since I've watched this I had to go back and read what I wrote for the last couple episodes to familiarize myself with it again but even then, I'm not sure I'll get there. This is very much going to be in-the-moment, based on the ringwork stuff from me. Character work be damned.

ER: So detective Vazquez has lived through a thousand years of society and she's just a cop? The things she must have seen, the dynasties she saw fall...and she's an LA detective? Are there vampires that just open their own paint store?

TL: For being 1,000 years old, Vazquez looks fantastic. Good for her. Extremely happy that her and Aerostar completed the pendant, as they're now going to be able to withstand a guard attack while traversing the Hidden Temple for their lost tribal icon. Hoping Olmec makes an appearance on commentary tonight.

ER: Lots to talk about in just the intros, because Vampiro makes the most ridiculous faces for the duration of Matt Striker's opening spiel. Vampiro was acting like he was reading along with a script, and was making these bug eyed affirmative faces every time Striker would finish a line. Also, it just hit me that Vampiro has hair. He was a big fat guy who voluntarily was shaving his head, intentionally looking like the boat zombie from Zombie!? Nobody shaves their head just to look cool, it's always a choice that's made for them. But Vampiro has hair and he makes reaction faces bigger than the biggest Jeremy Borash TNA reaction faces. Also, Melissa Santos' had a great dress/headband combo, very flattering and a cool style.


The Rabbit Tribe (Paul London/The White Rabbit/El Bunny) vs. Sammy Guevara/XO Lishus/Ivelisse vs. The Reptile Tribe (Jeremiah Snake/Daga/Kobra Moon)

ER: This kicked ass, the kind of bananas match you want from a LU multiman. I do wish the Rabbit Tribe hadn't been eliminated so early, but I like what they did while they were there. This could have been a real mess, but it turned out to be the best kind of mess. All of the jumbled attacks worked well when everyone was in the ring together, Jeremiah throwing big straight kicks at anyone on his path, then tossing his own team to their death. Jeremiah THROWS Kobra to the floor with a powerbomb, bouncing her right off White Rabbit, who just picks her up off the ground and throws her into the ringpost. Two great back to back bumps from Kobra, and the craziest one was yet to come. The dive train was cool, with El Bunny hitting a tiny tope con hilo while Ivelisse held open the ropes, then Ivelisse bent over the top rope while standing on the middle rope so Guevara could vault over her onto the pile (the camera guy really zoomed right up Ivelisse's birth canal, so I can only assume this episode was guest directed by Larry Clark), then Ivelisse flipped over the ropes to cap it off. I dug how everyone scattered, giving every side of the Temple a cool view of different action, but Sammy and Kobra Moon fight up to the top and get a great tease where Guevara almost throws her right off...before hitting a nutso Spanish Fly off the camera stage instead. Even though the move was performed perfectly and everyone was in place to catch, it's still flat out nuts. Plus, they did a great job in editing to not show the actual floor until they were flying off, so you had no idea if there were seven people or zero people down there to catch them. There were some strong pinfall saves, nice kicks to the back of the head, great use of fake blood when White Rabbit jams his gloved fingers down Guevara's throat, an awesome bit where XO fights back against the whole Reptile Tribe, just a ton of fun. This match really felt like season 1 LU, which is nothing but a big compliment.

TL: It's so wild to see Killer Kross go from LU to Impact to becoming The Next Big Thing in NXT in the span of like 18 months. I remember when he called out Batista at Bloodsport and kinda scoffed, but now he's pretty undeniable, and as if on cue, he destroys all six of his opponents only to eat a quintuple superkick. Guevara's excitement is so palpable here, and it's really wild to me that he got used as fodder for Jake Strong like he did. The big Spanish Fly dive was really well done, and him getting the first pin to eliminate the Tribe was a nice touch, but again, with how Kross was built up throughout the season, it seemed like a waste of him here, which unfortunately seems to be this season's MO. The blood was a great touch, like Eric said, but I would have just liked to see a Kross/Guevara singles match, especially with how much Guevara has impressed in his AEW run. The final fall started off really well with the Ivelisse near-fall, and even dug Vampiro's comparison to a World Cup match where a team gets a red card and has to play with 10. Okay, the timing of the near falls here has been REALLY good, and has done a good job of building up the challengers as underdogs, and XO's fire out of the corner really played up, and the extra shot by Jeremiah to give Daga the submission was a nice touch. The booking was a bit much, but the match was exactly what it needed to be given the stips. Feels like the least interesting team won, though.


Ricky Mundo vs. Taya

ER: This is exactly what it should have been: a mostly one sided massacre to blow off a story that never had legs. Once Mundo's creepy doll got involved this went beyond a dark obsession story into something into something eyerolling with no chance of an interesting payoff. And so, the only answer was to have Taya take everything in a short match. I liked Taya landing heavy on a couple crossbodies, the curb stomp looked good, and the post match table spot with Taya letting out her ruined wedding aggression was the best this was going to be. It's smart to know your limits and I'm glad they didn't make this into some overblown epic that it was never going to be. They spent the correct amount of time on it, and you need that kind of smart editing.

TL: I'm not really into this at all because of Ricky more than anything, but Taya showed some nice fire. I wish it was more one-sided than it actually was, with a Taya steamrolling being more emphatic, but LU has always been about the hand-holding for references to previous parts of the storyline, so given that, they hit all the right notes and Taya stood tall. As Eric said, was exactly what it should have been.


Mask vs. Mask: Son of Havoc vs. Killshot

ER: This didn't work for me. It never felt like an actual big stip match, really it didn't feel any different from any other singles match these two have had against any other LU opponent. There were big spots, but every LU match with these guys has the exact kind of big spots that this match had, this match just had less of them (so I guess that means that they are more important?). Plus, the big spots didn't really look that great. Havoc's three big moments all saw him land physically short with his arms in front of him, with Striker even having to cover for his short SSP landing by saying he got Killshot with his head. The camera stand dive looked big, but Guevara's Spanish Fly 20 minutes earlier off that same camera stand looked way bigger. I liked the superplex onto the gurney, but the set ups for all these spots felt like they could have been tightened up in editing. The big shock is when Dumb Donald finally takes off his knit cap to reveal Shane Strickland!

TL: The matches that led up to this left a lot to be desired, even though I came away from them thinking Killshot was at least trying to do a bit more than just throw out spots, and figured maybe the blowoff could lead to something more focused, but the focus came more from them remembering walking through their more complicated sequences. And then after the first Killstomp, it slows to a halt once the gurney gets involved, with them chewing up airtime more than them building up to big spots including either that or the table Havoc introduces. I think the play was for the match to be more deliberate than the Hell of War match, which was basically like a 20-minute adrenaline shot, but instead, it came off plodding, and knowing both the Hell of War match and what Sammy did earlier in the night, not even that Havoc splash in the table came off as good. The superplex into the gurney was pretty damn insane, but for Havoc to survive that, a Killstomp, and then a Storm Cradle Driver seems a bit much. The only thought in my head is "I really hope this doesn't end on a roll-up" and I'm holding on tight. I think the reason I'm not feeling this match as much is because I've seen a lot of the stuff they've done better either earlier in the night (strikes, dives, nearfalls) or in previous matches including either guy, but hey, if you're gonna finish a guy, a Shooting Star Press on a guy tied to a gurney will get it done. "History has been made!" says Matt Striker, and I agree, this match is now in my past. There just wasn't enough drama here for me to buy into the nearfalls, nothing was really earned. It came off flat and hollow. And wouldn't you know it, it's Jermaine Strickland, who basically drops the mic and heads for NXT mediocrity, which I guess is better than what can be said for most folks on this show. At the very least, it got the women in the crowd ready to cry, which is what you really need from an apuestas match. But not before Dante Fox shows up in stolen valor for their tribute to the troops as Strickland heads for Orlando.


TL: It really does feel like we're crawling to the finish line of this marathon, but I also feel like, especially given how the finale of previous Ultima Luchas have gone, we're going to see something absolutely wild given the environment they're working, which is really all you can ask for a show doing its swan song. At least send us home on a high note, even if it's been more slog than passion project this season.


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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 16: Kill Mil

ER: Weekly reminder of just how awful every part of the Antonio Cueto character is.

TL: Oh man. So...you are a show that caters basically exclusively to hardcore fans. You then have MATT STRIKER READ A PREPARED STATEMENT to set up the main even that night? Over a highlight package? I mean...I never thought I'd say this, but Vampiro saying, "You say something? We got things to do!" after that was the best. Thank God for Vampiro. Praise Vampiro.

Jack Evans vs. Matanza

ER: This was pretty silly. I'm not sure what kind of character Evans is working, as he did a bunch of dialed to 10 mic work where he was just yelling annoying sounds and acting like a real goofball. Cool? Then he does a comical Mr. Furley stumbly run up the stairs only to run away from Matanza and get tripped by Antonio Cueto's cane. They're going for Looney Tunes vibes but also very serious Evans-will-leave-The-Temple-in-a-body-bag vibes and it doesn't really work. Evans vs. Matanza is a damn fun pairing, but this isn't that. This is Evans wide eyed running from Matanza, getting tossed a couple times, coming back briefly to hit a fantastic 630...only to see Matanza instantly shrug it off and hit the Tour of the Temple. This could have been a the best possible style clash, instead we had to pretend Jack Evans was suddenly a guy who couldn't wrestle very well.

TL: Jack Evans continues to be awesome on the mic, Antonio Cueto continues to be a terrible caricature in place of an actual good on-screen authority figure. Jack plays up the horror movie vibes better than most by knocking on the door to the entrance ramp only to be out of luck. Jack getting to run around a bit and be evasive only to eventually fall after a valiant effort is at least a good version of this match, but I would have liked a more competitive match between these two because it would have been good to watch. Evans rag dolling for peak Samoa Joe back in the ROH days was fantastic to see; him doing the same for Matanza would have ruled, too. Alas, all this for a cheap pop to hear Antonio warble about human sacrifice. I mean, literally seven months ago on WM weekend, a dude has his throat slit on stage during the absolutely terrible Blackcraft show. If you're gonna kill someone on a wrestling show, at least make it campy as fuck.

XO Lishus/Ivelisse/Joey Ryan vs. Jeremiah Snake/Daga/Kobra Moon

ER: This was rough in just about every way. Sloppy as hell, not a lot of build, just a mess of a match. Xo Lishus was probably the lone highlight; I love the snap he gets on things like armdrags, and really I just love the snap he puts on everything. Ivelisse has one of the more embarrassing hot tags of recent memory and later hits a slow motion cannonball off the apron. Daga even trips on the ropes getting into the ring. Striker calls Jeremiah Snake "this generation's most controversial athlete", which does sound much more intriguing than "some guy that a lot of people wish would just go away because they don't dig his fucking vibe" which is the reality. This was as skippable as it gets.

TL: Killer Kross as the White Rabbit is a good fit for the promotion; hope he calls out Big Dave in a knock off Tower of Doom match by season's end. The match itself was basically a mid-tier trios pairing with folks thinking up "creative" spots only for them to not land clean. XO probably looked the best in the match, Joey's shtick continues to be tired, Crane's descent to complete irrelevance continues. Daga with a weird Toryumon double arm-bar to finish. Kross and London stand idly by for the most part while Bunny gets the offense post-match, and I'm baffled again. This fed, folks.

Nunchuck Match: Aerostar/Drago vs. Jake Strong

ER: I'm a big fan of stupid stips matches, and a 2 on 1 handicap nunchucks match would certainly qualify as stupid, but Strong isn't a good enough stooge to make the nunchucks portion of this match interesting. We get the fun visual of actual nunchuck retrieval at the top of the Temple steps. At one point Aerostar and Drago pose as two children trying to sneak into an R rated movie wearing a very long trenchcoat, beating Jake with nunchucks. But Strong just kind of stands there and takes a dozen nunchuck shots, like he couldn't go anywhere. Every other time he took nunchuck shots he would just awkwardly bend over to take them, just poking his butt out. To put over a nunchuck shot you really need that scaled dog reaction, needs some hopping, some yelping, some fleeing; Ol' Jake Strong just behaved like he was in a very specific BDSM video. There were individual great moments, like Strong's vicious gutwrench powerbomb, or Aerostar's no hands springboard splash, but this didn't work as well as it could have.

TL: NUNCHUKS MATCH. I need Sleazy E out here in an exhibition at least. Jake Strong being treated as a top guy in AEW right now is still absolutely baffling to me (and he hasn't even wrestled a match!!!) but he's been at least a little bit entertaining taking on all the low-tier juniors, which should prepare him well for AEW. It's at least something that uses the gimmick well, even if the gimmick itself is terrible. The crowd chants "This is awesome!" for some reason, possibly the nadir of the chant, or maybe they're in on the joke. But let's point out what these guys did in their seven minutes: They had huge bumps, they laid shit in, and they went out there to maximize an absolutely limiting gimmick. I'm writing this match up as it happens, not after the fact, and this is actually becoming one of the great shitty gimmick matches LU has ever done. The finish was awesome stuff. They also 100% went early on the bone break sound effect. I am going to look back on this fondly as one of the great examples of everything both bad and good about LU: The gimmick is terrible, the entire setup is basically shit. But guys went out there and killed it, did everything they could to maximize what they were given, and somehow, someway, production values made it look not nearly as good as it could have. I can't think of a single 15-minute segment in any LU show that captures all that. Amazing stuff.

Mil Muertes vs. King Cuerno vs. Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: This didn't add up to a ton, made everyone except Pentagon feel super marginalized, which is a repeat trend for PPP. We also got some more Fenix coming out to assault Melissa Santos, which is great because then he will still wrestle the same way and get cheered for his cool spots, so what is actually the point of doing that kind of storyline? It does lead to our no close second greatest part of the match, when Dragon Azteca hits an incredible tope con giro over the ringpost, crashing both of them into the announce table. Awesome, awesome spot. I have to assume the rest of this was mangled by hasty editing, because the only other option was that it was mangled by foolish match layout: Cuerno hit his big tope into Pentagon and Muertes, except Pentagon was back up to the apron as quickly as Cuerno, only for both of them to be hit by a Muertes spear to knock them off the apron. So either Pentagon sold a Cuerno tope - treated like a major move for much of the series - by immediately leaping up to the apron, while Muertes sold it by running to the other side of the Temple to get in the ring for his spear...or the editing was so trash that it just made the wrestlers look like trash. Neither is a good look.

TL: Things I knew were going to happen before this match started: Muertes was gonna rule ass for a few minutes, Penta was definitely going to be on the outside in a 4-way match when you shouldn't have any downtime due to the fact everyone can at least face someone, Cuerno was gonna hit his tope, Dragon was gonna out-effort everyone. AND THEN HE DOES THAT CORNER DIVE. HOLY SHIT. It's weird to think a match like this is so methodically paced, but that's LU for you. Willie Mack coming back to cost Mil the match was a cool twist. And then of course Penta wins. Muertes taking the fall was surprising but I guess if they're pairing folks off, Mack/Muertes in a deathmatch should be fun, at least. Match was 100% a mean multi-man LU match. Like Eric said: Production here was really off again, selling was off all around. Again, I feel like there's just a lot of things that are supposedly creative but done in a way that doesn't play to anyone's strengths. It used to be the hallmark of this show but now it seems like that's all gone by the wayside. Really rough to see at this point. Azteca/Fenix has a chance to be good, Mack/Muertes could be a defining match for two guys I thoroughly enjoyed in this fed, and Penta somehow ending up the last LU champ will be fitting in a way because they really had nobody else to go to, it seems. Maybe they'll still surprise me. Who knows.



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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 14: Pet Cemetary

TL: Eric sent me this review literally five weeks ago and I haven't even begun to get to it. Between the holidays, a trip to New Orleans where I dressed up as a banana on New Years Eve and was the talk of Bourbon Street, a new job at a place I actually love working at, moving into a new place for the first time in almost a damn decade, and my waning love for a product I once fervently enjoyed, I held this up probably longer than I should have. I'll take the L on this one, as the kids say. However, I will say that I'm seeing this out to the bitter end. I will find the love where I can.

Ivelisse vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: I thought this was really great, probably my favorite LU match of the season, and that is an unexpected thing. It told such a fine story and was a really fantastic babyface performance from Ivelisse. It really had a great pull and in a fed that hasn't done a great job building to triumphant title victories, midway through this I was genuinely interested in rooting Ivelisse to victory. That's special whenever it happens. Ivelisse has been dealt kind of a bum wrap due to injuries. She's had two big injuries that happened right when she was getting big momentum and they cut her right off. After this performance I thought she would make a great choice for a Mae Young Classic deep run. Rachel was watching this with me and sometimes she pays attention, sometimes she doesn't (though she seems to pay attention the most during women's matches), but midway through this match she says, "Hey she's really good. I forgot we were watching a man vs. woman match." It's not that she's bridging the gap with power spots, but she's working like a fun Rey Mysterio underdog and her execution lands heavy enough that the weight difference is plausible. Her strikes look good, her headscissors and armdrags have good pull, and I like her crisscross stuff off the ropes. She has really expressive reactions and it was awesome to see this big babyface performance on TV without it getting into overly emotional Gargano territory. Azteca played his part well, he didn't work this as a heavy breathing try hard babyface, he worked subtle heel and he did it well. It would have been easy to chicken out and work face vs. face but he was kind of a dick, not hesitating to work snug with a lady, doing cool little things like whipping her arm into the mat. This was really good, and I really hope this is a star making moment for Ivelisse. The fans have been over the top for her since the beginning, and fuck it, let her get imbued with some kind of paranormal super powers and have her destroy Penta H in the series finale. It's all I want now.

TL: I like Azteca and feel like Ivelisse can be good in small doses, but reading Eric's first sentence made me take pause. I mean, he said himself it was unexpected, so that means I get to look at this in a totally different manner than he did. Totally expected, if you will. Vampiro putting Dragon Azteca "Between #1 and #2" on his Best in the World list is certainly a take, hope he puts in a #WDKW100 ballot. I do like Azteca basing for Ivelisse early, as her arm drags are actually really fluid and her lucha background is sound. The match itself is really basic, but well done. Azteca has good cutoffs, good snap on his offense, deep submissions, and it amplifies Ivelisse's offense. I'm starting to see why Eric enjoyed this match so much. That DDT off the ropes was nasty and Azteca took it on the dome. This is so much different than your normal LU match where folks are trying to get in ridiculous moves for two counts. These two are simplifying things and it's making the bigger moves mean that much more. Right on cue, Azteca doing the damn Pillman bump off the stair rail on his missed dive was disgusting. The stretch run from there is really fun, as Ivelisse expands on her fun offense and Azteca doing simple reversals gives it more impact. Yeah, that was a great match. I'd have to think a bit on whether it's the match of the season so far, but that match had absolutely no reason to be that good and it overdelivered. The improvement Ivelisse has shown after her injury riddled third season is noticeable. She can go. Really impressive showing here.

King Cuerno vs. Mil Muertes

ER: I thought this was money too, even if Cuerno has lost significant luster since season 1. It's a big boy battle that only goes a few minutes before ending in a DQ (a LU rarity), but we get a tremendous Mil performance and a super fun slugfest finish. Cuerno felt on Mil's level a few seasons ago, a guy who could be the potential top guy in the fed, and while that feeling isn't really there for me anymore he's still a guy who makes a fun match for Mil. Mil's big right hand might be my favorite thing in the fed, and I loved him crushing Cuerno with corner lariats before dropping him with that right. But the big fireworks in this one happen once they both spill to the floor, as they do nothing more than throw punch combinations at each other. Stand and Trade is such a fickle thing for me, as it's kinda like art: I know I like it when I like it. Here I liked it, just two dudes landing big rights to the jaw, real nice worked punches that would have played well even without sound sweetening, both mixing it up with occasional body shots, some cool close up magic from both. Marty Elias tries to get them back in the ring and gets violently shoved into the front row of fans for the DQ, Elias taking a great backwards bump into the fans. This all worked for me.

TL: I'm surprised this didn't get saved until Ultima Lucha, honestly, as it really could have been built to another big match between these two who are a great pairing. I always gush on Muertes' offense, but everything he does in this setting looks so crisp. His working punch is tremendous, and then he throws these standing mounted punches that look like crap when other folks try them but he makes look good. Also gets to hit his snap powerslam and his awesome chokeslam, so I'm sufficiently entertained. This is being worked with urgency, which it should be considering their history, and I dig it. The punches they trade back and forth are fantastic, and they are absolutely hauling off on each other. Whenever the camera misses a cut on a punch and you see the impact, you can see just how they thud. I mean, I don't know who told them to go out and work a goddamn Lawler/Dundee match, but God bless whoever did. Digging the Double DQ because you could buy them tossing Marty Elias aside, but I don't like them getting "rewarded" by getting into a match with Triple P. Maybe his laziness will make him want to stand aside and let these two haul off on each other? Because that's what I want.

Aerostar/Drago/Fenix vs. The Reptile Tribe

ER: This was mostly a rush job to serve as a backdrop for a pretty - on the surface - pointless rudo turn from Fenix. I thought the match was going along fine until the silly turn, with Drago putting in a nice showing (good to see after his brutal performance against Jake Strong), getting launched into a cool dive by Fenix and hitting this trippy assisted headscissors out of the corner. Jeremiah Snake (ugh) had nice snap on his lariats and bumped big for the fliers. Everything was going fine. Then Fenix turned on Aerostar and made really made grouchy faces, and shoved Melissa to the ground. I think the Melissa/Fenix videos were among the best of those kind of vignettes they've done. They were silly, but silly in the way that I wanted, and always sweet. That's important. A turn this late in the game makes no sense, and I can't imagine anyone who was excited when seeing it happen. We'll see where it goes I guess, but this show is in the home stretch at this point, why end something like this on a sour note?

TL: I can buy Jake Strong taking on three dudes after his recent Bellator win where he looked like a goddamn machine so I'm all in on him calling folks out like that. Dark Fenix being an obvious foreshadowing for his eventual teaming up with his brother is a choice. This is my contractually obligated sentence where I talk about how I miss Pindar. Daga started working Dragon Gate recently. He's no Adam Mayhem, but at least his offense has a bit more snap to it. Really odd to see this style of wrestling after a match featuring more traditional lucha and then an all-out brawl, so it's tough for me to get into it, but also, I like maybe, what, 2 people in this match? Fenix when he's on is damn good and I've seen Kobra work some great matches in tag teams in 2018. Dark Fenix's offensive outburst was tremendous and he's that much better than his brother's dark persona in all of 75 seconds. The heel control segments in this match just aren't engaging at all. Really think this should have been worked as more of a sprint. Aerostar hits a nice Silver King dive, Dragon hits that vaulted tornillo, and then Fenix does the turn given away by his black outfit. Because that means he's evil. I agree with Eric: Losing Fenix/Melissa is a huge blow for this series' production values and for love in general. Because getting the Lucha Bros. together in LU is more important than love, I guess. It's not at all. Not even a little bit.

TL: Okay, this is an honest question: Does Antonio Cueto know how to open a beer bottle? Was that a hammer he was using to open his Modelo? Dying to know where Marty got all that cash, too. I know he's got "aztec blood" in him, but who's the benefactor giving him all that cash?

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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 10: A Snake Scorned

Saltador vs. Matanza

ER: A good cult leader occasionally needs to sacrifice one of his acolytes to either test their faith or further control them, but you gotta be really careful when you only have a couple followers to start with. You can't sacrifice your entire cult, you need to build up some numbers before you start sacrificing. I liked Saltador all tingly from molly, tickling and caressing Matanza, hitting a nice pop-up dropkick, then getting wasted. It does come off silly that they keep calling these minor beatings "sacrifices" (and really, we've seen tons worse one-sided beatings in this fed), when we've already had two ACTUAL murders happen this season. Taking a powerslam feels a little bit underwhelming when we're comparing it to a beheading.

TL: I think London deciding not to be like Jim Jones or David Koresh and going down with the folks whose minds he’s enslaved is a neato twist on the idea of a cult. Like he got an advanced copy of “Wild Wild Country” and realized the best way to control folks is to just be the outspoken leader and have honest-to-god minions. Kind of self-perpetuates the idea you’re that much more important than the others AND gets the point across that you also can’t fully protect anyone from anything that leads to their imminent demise. We all get sacrificed eventually.

Point is, molly or not, Salty should have known better.

TL: Killshot with a good cocky promo and it might be the most I’ve ever liked him when he wasn’t in a death match. Like actual motivation for him now. Totally throws me off.

Killshot vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: This had a lot of really dumb dance partner practice run stuff, a couple parts where it genuinely looked like they were just practicing their routine so they could be ready for the semis. For every move that looked cool (Azteca leaping from top rope to apron to give Killshot a rana, Killshot hitting his Fosbury Flop dive to the floor), there was another moment that just looked like poor exhibition; Azteca and Killshot struggling to get a knucklelock that allowed Killshot to get Azteca on his shoulders (what is with so many people having offense now that requires their opponent to be on their shoulders? Is this stupid Kenny Omega influence? I can't think of a more unnatural spot for an opponent to end up than seated on your shoulders, like Killshot took his girlfriend Azteca to Glastonbury), or one awful spot where Killshot took ages to set up an arm submission, Azteca just standing still while Killshot walks around him holding his arm, both men working on material while we watch. Match was as expected: Had some big moves, none of the moves hurt the other enough to keep them from hitting their own moves.

TL: I really don’t get why folks who are athletic need to do these cooperative spots that never look good or fluid or smooth. It’s a really messed up way to look at it from a psychology standpoint: The human mind anticipates the big move and basically ignores everything leading up to it, which is why spots like that still get pops. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense. Only if it looks good at the end. There’s a couple spots here that read like, “Okay, so you can read the dude’s mind and anticipate his moves, but you can’t actually move when he’s doing the move.” It’s just mind numbing. The Killstomp 100% should have gotten a 2 count (maybe not even that) because Killshot didn’t even hit him even barely with it. The DDT to finish wasn’t so flashy that it outranked things like a DVD on the apron. Just really, really weird match layout, and that’s saying something for Lucha Underground.

ER: Aerostar/Drago bit was a fun tiny fantasy moment of undying friendship between a dragon and a spaceman, with the music doing a good job to capture the mood. It's tough to film male friendship, but I liked this. It was short and simple and I think they need more tiny character moments like this. With commonplace murders they've gone beyond over the top, and Striker just treats every single match like it's extremely important, so really nothing feels important at all. But friendship? That's something I can get behind.

TL: On my feed that I watched for this episode, the music bled over into the beginning of Melissa’s ring intro for the trios titles match and I figured it was because the producers loved the beat that much. I really don’t blame them. It was like a hip-hop version of those old silent films where you see folks move their mouths and then a screen card comes on with what they said afterwards. Like if you did an old Laurel and Hardy film but with someone producing the ragtime music on Garageband.

Daga/Jeremiah Snake/Kobra Moon vs. Son of Havoc/Killshot/The Mack

ER: Striker is so weird underselling Vibora's decapitation. Minutes ago he was flipping out for a dance aerobics routine and sounding like he'd never witnessed a tornado DDT before, now he says during a ring entrance "Well you may note Vibora is absent, as we just witnessed his decapitation," so he clearly knows about a murder, doesn't care about it, and is also going to continue talking about Worldwide Underground as good guys. The vibe of this whole season has been pretty fucked. But this match was really fun, and cooperative in a good way as any cooperation lead to an immediate crash. We had a ton of dives (loved Havoc hitting a move and then flying past the ringpost with one, it's typically a good idea to lift something from Santito if you can), Mack hitting a big flip dive, Moon getting tossed into a dive (like that trend, make her into a man-propelled wrecking ball), and we got a few nice showcases of Mack and Jeremiah's stiff work. The match starts with a weak Daga strike combo, so it's alarming when Mack comes in and really pounds him with an elbow. Like, oh, yeah, that's what that's supposed to look like. I like how Snake and Mack interact (I keep accidentally typing "Snack", which feels like a name Meltzer might give Callihan if he continues to chub out, and now I want a Halloween episode where Mack dresses like Callihan and calls himself Jeremiah Snack, box of cookies in hand), like how Snake cuts off Mack's turnbuckle handstand with a stiff kick. This whole thing had a real nice flow, and there's no reason the multiman division shouldn't be the strongest in the fed. The title win felt a little underwhelming, even after a good match, and Killshot berating Havoc after the loss will surely lead to another Killshot feud I don't want to see. But overall, this was a fun one.

TL: HA. I also noticed Striker basically no-selling a decapitation based on all the madness-based murders that have happened this season. Didn’t even go with the Owen Voice or anything. Just another line read. “Lucha Underground: We Got Murders!” He also no-sold Mack’s amazing satin jacket. As someone who weighed 300+ pounds a short while ago, seeing Sami start to be a bit heavy makes me take pause given where he was during the Finlay matches. The dives were fun, Mack was the most fun, the wacky tandem offense with Sami and Kobra was fun. Finish was deflating. Killshot unraveling after being so cocky doesn’t do it for me. We’ve already seen brooding Killshot, don’t need more brooding in my pro wrestling. The postmatch Killstomp was probably the best one ever because he just sprung up and did it. No posturing or bullshit or nothing. But yeah, I don’t need to see a super light-hitting feud between these guys.

ER: We get a match ending brawl between Cage and Pentagon that starts fairly lethargic, but gets good when Pentagon brains a member of Metalachi with his own guitar. Striker actually made me chuckle with "Probably the biggest hit they'll ever have!" We do focus a bit too much on a black priest with a bad pun name (Father Rick O'Shea, har har har) making big gasping faces like he's permanently reacting to some Drag Race shade. And I think this might be the debut of a silly arm cracking sound effect when Pentagon snaps his arm. I'm pessimistic about the match next week, but I'll hope for the best.

TL: Cage out here looking like he’s wearing something out of Shane Douglas’ closet circa 1996, and yeah, it starts off slow but really picks up. Not the best LU brawl, but not the worst. I’m more than over Pentagon at this point, and I don’t think it’ll be a bomb-throwing match, which is what it should be, but I just want it to be a car wreck at this point.

TL: How dare Eric no-sell Mack taking the incredibly tacky witches hat off Cueto’s head, putting it on his own head in response to being put in a “Haunted House Match” with Mil Muertes, and saying “Trick or Treat, mother fade to black”. Virtuoso performance by the LU MVP.

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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 9: A Match Made in Heaven

ER: This may be an odd question...but was that actually Melissa playing Mariposa in the opening segment with Cueto? Her voice sounded completely different from how I remember her sounding (not merely the absence of her minor speech impediment, her voice just sounded different), and the mask covers enough that I actually have no idea.

TL: Was that…a competent set up for the main event? Like, did they actually lay out the consequences in a cogent manner for us to understand? Wild, man.

Mala Suerte vs. Matanza

ER: So now we've established bunny hop "boings" and speed bags SFX to our LU SFX canon. This was short but nobody died. Suerte hit a great baseball slide dropkick to start, Matanza hit a nice headbutt to cut off bunny hops and hit the Wrath of the Gods. But again, nobody died, which seems important to point out now.

TL: I literally cannot add anything to what Eric said about this match when those SFX were involved. Peak pro wrestling production, that.

Joey Ryan/Jack Evans vs. XO Lishus/Ivelisse

ER: I really liked this, especially as a showcase for Evans and Lishus. I wasn't excited for Joey opposite another woman, but I liked the turn into Joey being a full blown sex addict, just wanting any kind of touch and contact with any human (at minimum, any human). I think him being into getting slammed into XO Lishus' juicy hot ass and liking it is an important thing to happen. Sex addict is far more interesting than overt pervert. Lishus is a ton of fun, a great take on an exotico. The splits legdrop is good, and I also realized with his outfit, butt stuff, splits...he's basically cosplaying as Naomi. That feels like a level of exotico we haven't had in wrestling, an actual drag routine paying tribute to a fan favorite. The cartwheel slap is great with the character, and there was a hilarious moment with he and Evans, where Lishus ducked a clothesline and landed in a crabwalk, Evans overran him with the miss, ran back, but was chased into the corner with a quick burst of crabwalking from Lishus. Evans played it great, the timing was down, a genuinely funny and unique moment played perfectly. They went way too heavy on SFX for Ivelisse, she had a couple weak shots that came off comical with the loud thigh slap sound, but stuff like armdrags and ranas looked fine and she ate Ryan's offense well. Evans is still finding his place without WU, and I hope he's featured more from here now that he's away from WU. But he and Lishus owned here.

TL: I want to be a part of the conversations Joey has had with other folks to try and figure out how he could evolve his character. As Eric said, the climb from pervert to sex addict seems like the natural next step for him and who better to bring it out of him than Lishus, who has the athleticism that makes it look like he can hang with Jack F’n Evans step for step. Evans’ athleticism never ceases to amaze me; his springboard moves look out of control but also look like they kill folks. Yeah, the Lishus/Evans stuff was terrific, which led to the absolutely disgusting finish with the omoplata that really looked like a chokeout as opposed to all the other loosely applied MMA finishes you’d see in wrestling today. Stoked to see this get a longer feud, too. Ryan and Ivelisse were definitely in this match.

Mariposa vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: This was so short and really a nothing match. It was presented as an obstacle for Azteca but he didn't have too much trouble with Mariposa. It's a Lucha Underground update on an old early 90s Wrestling Challenge squash match. In one of those matches the enhancement talent would maybe get a dropkick or a couple elbows that get no sold. In a Lucha Underground squash match the enhancement talent still gets to break out a Kudo Driver moments after taking a huge 450 splash. The times they are a changin'.

TL: Love the foul to start the match during the belt presentation, love the kick to the inside of the thigh even more. Also love how in 2018, a 450 splash and a fucking KUDO DRIVER get 2.9s, but crossing the legs on a rolling prawn hold? Can’t get out of that, no siree. But hey, I’ve never wrestled before, so I don’t understand psychology, I guess.

The Reptile Tribe vs. Worldwide Underground

ER: So Striker says that Vibora is "striking in his absence" meaning nobody else knows about Vibora's death, but you'd think his absence would be focused on a lot more if that was the case. Instead they're just immediately cool with lizard Jeremiah Crane being the replacement. Also, could we have maybe done a little better than Jeremiah Snake? Here are a few off the top of my head with similar vocal patterns: Jereboa Crane, Jereviper Crane, Jereconda Crane. They aren't rhymes, but the syntax is the same as his original name and they roll off the tongue similarly. Or, they could have embraced their ridiculous side and further have their cake and eat it too, and he could have been Janaconda Cobrane. Also, I like that even in a rare 4 on 4 match, Ricky Mandel still isn't good enough to make the cut. I want them do have a 10 man tag to see if he has a shot at getting some playing time.

And I really liked this match. It was the right amount of fun and action, and really the fed should run more 8 man tags. I've gotten tired of their go to singles match style, but throw any 8 people from the roster in a ring and they should all have enough material to work a fun 10 minute match. You get less reliance on kickouts and more reliance on saves at that point, and a well timed save is more exciting to me than a big kickout. We get a ton of big dives, some complicated (like Kobra Moon getting launched into everyone by Jeremiah) and a couple impressive Aerostar ones, and a huge cannonball into everyone by Jeremiah. The pacing was kept brisk, and the whole thing was kept light which is a good thing because serious matches typically feature Striker reading a bunch of lousy copy about the Fates of Worlds and the Calamity of Man. The post-match worked for me too, even though the Macho Man stuff was all really obvious, I loved the Pomp and Circumstance playing while Mundo had Taya up on his shoulder. Taya's reaction to the proposal was good and as I've been wondering the past couple weeks this surely throws WU into full babyface, which isn't a bad twist. I somehow didn't notice the relevance of the episode title, which now seems like it should be saved for the inevitable wedding episode of LU, and I also somehow foolishly never considered a wedding episode for LU. We're well over 100 episodes at this point, and if we actually want to pretend that this is an actual TV series and not wrestling, then we're already into syndication and we're overdue for a wedding and a baby. We've already gotten to the point of the show where it's consistently going downhill from its peak, so now we need a couple of classic ratings poppers!

TL: The graphic leading into this match looks like it was made for an ECW TV main event in 1997, which is terrific. Big wet fart for the return of Crane as part of the Reptile Tribe. Don’t care enough to even make fun of the name. Aerostar wearing the bandana over his mask is as goofy looking as Klay Thompson wearing the bandana during his 14 3-pointer game last week, which means I love it. Vibora had been getting better so I’m a bit sad he’s not a part of this, because this seems like the type of match where he’d really stand out.

More wild atomicos match than I would have thought with this set up, as I figured there would be more pairing off than a whole bunch of dives, but they wanted a frenetic pace from the start. PJ Black’s hot tag that began with a bunch of first week training offense after the springboard was amusing. Nothing like armdrags and shoulder blocks to fire things up. The more I hear “Jeremiah Snake” the more I cringe. He also gets a lot of the match here, which is disappointing. Would have loved to see more Moon and Drago, especially considering Aerostar was brought in specifically because of his past with Drago. Instead, Drago gets to watch Aerostar hit his second ridiculous dive of the match and then take the fall. Postmatch was actually cool for the fakeout, Johnny being magnanimous, and the two-bit Savage aping. It was ELIZABETH who did the “Ooooohh yeah” part, man. C’mon. I’m not sure what wedding day shenanigans will occur to hold it up before it actually happens, but I’ve been entertained by WU skits to the point where I’d at least enjoy it. Can’t remember too many happy RobRod movie marriages, but maybe they’ll make an exception here.

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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 3: Rest in Pieces

ER: I don't have much use for Ricky making derpy evil faces with his doll (come on, creepy dolls? We can dig deeper than that, right?) but I thought everybody else's comedy reads were good, much better than I was expecting. Johnny himself had great timing and hit all the beats he was supposed to, with Taya being good with reaction faces (and the dark lipstick is a cool choice). "Has anyone seen Angelico around? I owe him a beating."

TL: My favorite video game series of all time is Xenoblade Chronicles, where the monsters you face are basically just giant versions of animals you’d find in real life. The second game that came out last year has giant spiders and snakes in it (both animals I’m deathly afraid of), and if I get bored driving back on my commute from work and stare at the hills while waiting in traffic, I half expect to see giant animals come over the hillside and make a beeline for the cars. This is also why “Giant Spider Invasion” is my favorite MST3K episode by far. Feel like me visualizing this stuff helps me face my fears.

What I’m trying to say is that Jack Evans’ fear of snakes leading him to make a colonic appointment excuse trying to get out of a match is totally something I understand. Ricky’s replacement-level Al Snow circa 1999 faces can leave, though.

Jack Evans vs. XO Lishus

ER: I had never heard nor seen Lishus before this, but thought he had a great debut. It was a really long showcase (longer than most debuting guys) and Evans is a good stooge for this kind of routine. Lishus clearly has a dance background and I like how he integrated it, taking a splits bump, a really impressive Matrix bridge, his crazy leg split finisher off the top, and big bumps. He and Jack are both athletic bumpers with impressive body control, though Jack is better at making them come off more reckless. I liked Lishus' dive, although for an exotico he needs to work more stiff. Both guys had amusing handsprings, with Lishus hitting a big slap at the end of his and Evans landing a eye rake. This was plenty fun, surprised they had Lishus go over so strong, but this kind of debut is infinitely more interesting than Mr. Pectacular or Jake Strong.

TL: Yeah, for as much crap as we give LU on a regular basis, they’re the only semi-major fed in the US that would book an exotico on the regular, let alone even hear of one, so it’s cool to see XO get a shot here. The athleticism was a blast to watch, and Jack’s bendy selling and nutty bumping really helped put some of the more athletic stuff over even more. The split-based offense is tremendous, and he’s the only guy I’ve seen make an X-Factor look actually hurty, so a lot of props here for XO. Now go give Effy a shot, LU. Also, Jack Evans’ shit-talking is hilarious coming from a guy his size, and I always enjoy how a guy who should be out of wrestling due to his risk-taking and bumping has somehow found a way to elongate his career by being a shit-talking semi-comedic rudo.

ER: Oof that Pentagon/Cage segment was lame. Pentagon cuts a promo that sounds like bullet points for a promo, like they planned on fleshing it out later but forgot so Pentagon was left with his catch phrase and "I'm gonna defend my title, and keep winning". I like Cage but he was tanked by awful Striker/Vampiro reads here. Cage pulls a table out from under the ring, starts setting it up, and Vampiro (sounding like he was dryly added in post) says, "Wait...what is Cage doing?" Striker says "How can Pentagon break someone who is not man, but machine!?" And then moments later Cage on the mic says almost the exact same thing. Yeah, Pentagon got put through a table, but what a half asleep segment.

TL: Bullet points in a promo, you say? Sounds like Penta is ready for the writing of the award-winning World Wrestling Federation. I know Penta is being booked as being nigh unstoppable, but Cage jumping someone from behind doesn’t make a lot of sense considering how he’s been booked. I mean, Penta just ran through Matanza and the rest of the roster in Aztec Warfare. Cage putting him through a table isn’t exactly something that’s gonna make me salivate for a match between the two of them. Another instance of weird LU booking.

Grave Consequences 3 Way to the Grave: Mil Muertes vs: Jeremiah Crane vs. Fenix

ER: Plenty of violence and plenty of bullshit, which really would make this a pretty great fed if they consistently delivered on those things, and also greatly depends on the quality of the latter of those two things. This one went on too long and had a finishing stretch I didn't like, but there was so much violence, a spirited Fenix performance, and a monster Muertes performance, enough that I gotta call it an easy win. The whole thing likely would have been better if they just did any combination of these guys in a one on one Grave Consequences match, but I thought the three did a good job of keeping the action moving. There were some nasty spills in this one, with everyone seeing who could take a meaner fall into their respective casket lids (Crane took an especially rough one on the floor). Muertes' big right hands were easily worth the price of admission, so many of his great overhand rights that really look like they should have broken Fenix's face, and the shot of him ripping at Fenix's mask while punching his bloody face from above was fantastic. Crane and Fenix brought plenty of nice kicks, Crane flew threw chairs (no shock), and we also had plenty of silliness. Ivelisse came back with bright red hair like Eva Marie (the camera showed her running from behind and I actually thought it *was* Eva Marie, which would have been hilarious), so since she's borrowing the look I assume her new name is Eva Lease. Her interference was quick and got Crane out of there, and there was a nicely done finger break spot, and not long after we get Fenix crashing off the top basically through Crane. The end run wasn't very interesting as it turned into a big moves trade off between Fenix and Muertes, and while all the moves looked good it got annoying seeing Fenix take a huge slam that caved in a coffin, and just get back up and start springing off ropes again. Although it must be said, Fenix's rope work in the match was pretty breathtaking. So while overly long, the match definitely delivered overall, and was one of my favorite Muertes performances. An easy win, and the first genuinely good episode of the season.

TL: Even with Sami’s presence in this match, Mil and Fenix kill it in these matches (their match back in Season 1 was one of my favorite LU matches ever; Mil/Matanza might have been even better) so I’m all about it. Just watching Fenix find new ways to fly (the plancha off the roof of the refrigeration room) and Muertes’ nutty violence (love me an elevator door slam like he’s in a damn Looney Tunes ep) makes this worth watching, even if there’s some flubs with vaulting and other awkward three-way spots. Sami is always at his best taking a beating and he bumps huge here on a few things, including a powerbomb on a coffin and a ridiculous bump off a Mil spear on the outside. The Ivellise stuff was at least well done, even if Ivellise’s hammer was obviously a fake with the head actually breaking off and took away from it a bit. I also can’t top Eva Lease.

The remainder of the match is Mil whooping up on Fenix using the bottom turnbuckle and then absolutely pasting him with some AWESOME right hands (as if we need yet another thing to add to the list of things Mil does well). After an awkward staredown on the outside with Mil, I actually loved Melissa as a second getting the crowd into it as they’ve been a bit tired during this match and weren’t popping for a lot. Fenix taking that belly-to-belly into the casket was disgusting, but he’s named Fenix so he’s back doing his ultra-athletic offense and taking another crazy bump with that chokeslam on the casket. It probably did go a little long, but there was a lot more good than bad here, and while it’s not in the top level of Grave Consequences matches, it’s very good stuff.

Because it’s on the mind, Muertes seems like a guy who is continuously underrated at large, even with two of the greatest lucha brawls of all time with LA Park and maybe the best Abyss match ever in TNA, along with his unbelievable LU brawls (and for me, perhaps the best squash match TV worker going right now). I don’t know what to make of his standing in the grand wrestling pantheon, but he’s carved out a hell of a career in a way that really nobody like him ever has. The more I see him, the more I’m realizing how great he’s been for a long, long time; he has constantly reinvented himself either as Judas or Mesias or Muertes in multiple territories in multiple countries and hasn’t really lost a step at all. It’s remarkable when you step back and look at what he’s done, and even though this isn’t perhaps the shining moment of his LU career, a match like this is so much better than so many other wrestlers’ best matches that it’s easy to forget how good he’s been. His stuff does not go unnoticed with me.

TL: Of course, we get some Striker biblical bullshit to sign us off before seeing Matanza chained up like Eren Yeager (and, I’m guessing due to the magic of Lasik, two good eyes for Antonio - must be good medical insurance at The Temple) before busting loose and breaking Dario’s key. I don’t know what the upping of the whimsical stuff does to my enjoyment of the show (more a fan of kitsch than the actual hard magical being stuff), but if Catrina is bringing herself back due to Fenix, can she bring Lorenzo Lamas back, too, at least? Maybe Antonio found his eye and that’s why he’s got two good eyes right now? At least I’m trying to connect the dots here.


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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 1: El Jefe

ER: Yeah yeah, we're back. We're late because of me, but we're back. I am still doing this spoiler free, which is seeming like an exponentially stupid thing to do considering I've liked each season less than the one that preceded it. I'm hoping for a nice return to form this season. Saying that, I don't actually know who is still involved with the fed, which is part of the fun/horror of going into this thing blind.

TL: Hilariously, if we didn't avoid spoilers, we might cherry pick through things instead on here. There's a lot of horror in this one, though. A LOT of horror.

ER: I immediately regret falling behind at the very beginning of the season, since we get introduced to Papa Antonio Cueto, which I imagine caused quite the varied reactions. I both love it for its ridiculousness, and hate it for its everything else. This is clearly a show with some money behind it, surely we have some extra dough in the coffers for a better wig? Cueto's wig was a 0.8 on the Amanda Bynes Courtroom Appearance scale. The beardwork was okay. The voicework was sub-Christian Bale Batman growl voice. The framed photo was as good as any funeral portrait you've seen, but they lose major points for not having a Temple flower arrangement. Okay this was fucking awful.

TL: So, we get the saga of Dario, the feds, and the power glove, complete with Lorenzo Lamas’ removed eyeball and some dude in a Puma mask who may or may not look like someone who has a big match coming up at NXT: Takeover Brooklyn 4. But THEN we get Dario not only dying, but his father coming to his sparsely attended funeral.

AND IT’S THE SAME GUY THAT PLAYED DARIO WHO IS PLAYING HIS FATHER.

Imagine after the aborted Vince car bomb angle that got shelved because He Who Shall Not Be Named did That Which Shall Not Be Described, you get Vince coming back as the ghost of Vince Sr. haunting Raw on a regular basis. It would have been way better than the Twitter bot that played the Raw GM for months upon months. I understand LU is a pulp show on a pulp network and there is some goofiness going on, but this goes beyond the pale on the goofiness scale. Of course, Antonio berates his son, knocks down his memorial portrait in the ring because he finally has control of HIS promotion, and then announces Aztec Warfare for the LU title. That is definitely a way to start off the new season of this show.


Aztec Warfare 4!

ER: Okay, THIS was fucking awful. What a terrible, sluggish, boring, uninteresting match to start your 4th season off with a fart sound. This whole mess was designed to show the dominance of Pentagon, and for a lazy dude he turned in one of his absolutely laziest performances I've seen. Maybe because it was so long and one-note? It was bad. It started with him and Tommy Dreamer having a super slow mo kendo stick battle, and continued with him hitting his finisher on approximately 10 guys. The new entrants appear to be coming in every 30 seconds, and there's an elimination every 30-60 seconds. New guys come in, new guys take one move, new guys leave. It was fucking awful. Even Matt Striker wasn't trying, and brother they don't come more try hard than Matt Striker. In arguably the least inspired moment of a match filled with uninspired moments, Vinny Massaro comes out, gets a pepperoni pizza delivery, starts to eat a slice and in the flattest tone I've ever heard from him Striker weakly says "PizzaGate". That's it. That's the joke. The joke is that there is no joke. There's a reference, but no attempt at a joke. And the reference is already nearly 2 years past expiration. When Pentagon hooked Massaro's leg on the pin I expected him to flatly sputter out a Sandy Hook reference, but no. I rooted pretty hard for Chavo, just because he was infinitely more interesting in this match than Pentagon, and the crowd clearly hates him because he's...well, no LU fans were ever able to give any actual reason why they disliked Chavo. Striker points out how hot Catrina looks, and normally the golf with eyes bugging out and a tongue on the floor reaction from Striker is the lamest, but in an aggressively shitty match like this Catrina's hotness really was a genuine highlight. Fenix was easily the most interesting of the wrestlers involved, and it really wouldn't have taken much effort from him to earn that title. Awful, awful, boring, lazy match.

TL: I actually wrote out a play by play for this because I'm absolutely crazy and also thorough when it comes to pro wrestling things I feel like I have to watch. Good lord almighty was this a slog to get through. I mean absolutely terrible in most ways. The idea behind it was to absolutely make Pentagon The Guy in the promotion, but instead, it's like a Cliff's Notes version of the folks you might see on this program week to week, and it really doesn't do a good job of selling that here. Pentagon is in at 6, and it doesn't get actually entertaining until Fenix is in at 13, where he outshines his brother in like 1/25 the time. The biggest issue I had with this is that all the guys you'd be excited to see, especially someone like Muertes, are in the match for all of like...2 minutes? I mean, Chavo gets a producer's run? Marty gets a shot to try and score an upset on Pentagon as the final guy in the match? Especially after Marty lost to Fenix in the way he did last season? This isn't even a reset. It's like taking the neuralizer from Men In Black. And after this I need it. There isn't a single thing coming out of this that makes me excited for what's to come, and that's a terrible omen for a show that already blows so hot and cold.

ER: And we get more from Papa Cueto, which was a character that just could not have sounded good at any step of the writing process. I'm not as imaginative as I perhaps once was, but I cannot actually imagine a worse way to start a new season of LU. This honestly has to be the worst episode in the history of the series.

TL: Can we get Lorenzo Lamas back up in this thing again please? More Godfrey? Papa Cueto has worn out his welcome and it's only been one show. I started reviewing these with a Sexy Star match. This whole show was worse than that feeling.


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2016 Ongoing MOTY List: Crane vs. Cage vs. Muertes

20. Jeremiah Crane vs. Cage vs. Mil Muertes Lucha Underground 6/26/16 (Aired 10/18/17)

ER: My god the insanity! This match delivered beyond what I was hoping for, turning into an epic big boy X-Division spotfest, that also had tons of blood and crazy weapons usage and really ended up ranking among the best of the crazy LU brawls. This would have been awesome without the weapons, just three big lugs working stiff and crashing into each other, but the weapons were crazy and the spots around them nuts. So you get Crane's great yakuza kicks, you get all three crashing to the floor like big Nitro cruisers (Crane with his great low-pe, Cage with a big flip dive, Muertes diving off the tope), Muertes slams Crane shoulders first on a chokeslam, Cage drops people with his awesome driver combos, all great stuff. Once Crane brings in a heavy trash can then all hell breaks loose. Everybody takes rough can shots, Crane starts gushing blood, Crane gets chokeslammed through a table on the floor, and back in the ring Cage keeps bouncing around like he's 100 lb. less, pulling off a big rana and a perfect Asai moonsault (and Muertes pulls off a flawless spinning headscissors on the floor, so these guys are all just the lightest heavyweights). Things get crazier and grosser when Crane slams a bunch of wooden stakes right into the top of Cage's head. I've never seen anything like that before. It's like two dozen chopsticks were just sticking stright out of Cage's head, with blood starting to leak out down the sides of his head. My god. He even takes a DDT to hammer the stakes DEEPER into his head. What the hell, you guy!? Muertes goes through a sheet of glass and comes up covered in blood, but they decide to go for ultimate crazy and we get Crane getting superplexed off the top THROUGH Muertes and a couple tables. Holy cow. The singles match portion (with Crane eliminated) between Muertes/Crane was a nice cooldown, with two big tiring dudes beating each other up. I dug their strike exchange, love that Muertes snap powerslam, and love Muertes getting the win to return to dominance. He really should be the top monster in the fed, but damn I really love Cage in LU. Awesome battle of the Kongs.

PAS: Lucha Underground has a lot of things about it I think are really stupid, but they do these kind of maximalist brawls really well. This match had a lot of stuff in it I normally hate, big guys flying around like crusierweights is often really irritating, I normally hate matches which require long set ups for car crash spots and that skewer spot (which Eric has never seen before? That thing is in a million dumb death matches) is usually geek show stuff which takes me out of a match, but in this case all of it worked. The flying worked because these guys are all weird comic book monsters, and it is impossible not to love the beauty of that headscissors is hard to deny. The three way aspect of the match allowed all the setting up of stuff to work, because we still got action when people were constructing, and the skewer spot felt less like some hipster side show spot and more like the kind of thing a psychotic murder would do in a fight with two movie monsters (like this match was Frankenstein vs. The Wolf Man vs. Ed Gein).  This calmed down a bit during the one on one section, and I really think we needed a more violent finish then a flatliner on a chair, but glad to see that LU can still break out the Mil Muertes classics.


2016 ONGOING MOTY LIST

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 40: Ultima Lucha Tres Part 4

ER: FOR THE RECORD, we've had this written up for over a month, but Phil and I have been going content crazy with the NJ/AJ handhelds and the WM weekend shows, so I kept putting off posting this. But I made it to the finish line, bitchez!

TL: A 100% honestly accurate text message conversation that happened before the final taping of Ultima Lucha Tres:

Vampiro: hey, bro

Striker: Sup, Vamp?

Vampiro: was thinking we ball out for the finale ya know?

Striker: I totally agree. Biggest show of the year!

Vampiro: got this sick suit I was planning to wear on the first date with that singer from Slapbak

Striker: Nice!

Vampiro: but she shot me down so I gotta wear it anyways and was thinkin about wearin it for the final ep, brother

Striker: Sounds good!

Vampiro: what sick threads you got?

Striker: I’m going to wear an official Lucha Underground T-Shirt. Have to stay on brand and let people know what show they’re watching!

Vampiro: cool bro you do you

I mean, I’m not even on camera when I do commentary and because I’m out there in front of folks, I feel bad if I’m not wearing at least a shirt with buttons on it. Gonna petition the owners that Eric and I only wear official PPW apparel at shows now that professional broadcaster Matt Striker thinks it’s fine to wear a t-shirt on the biggest show of the year.


Cage Match: Matanza vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: Azteca never felt like a guy who was supposed to hang with Matanza, and this match bore that out. We get a fun twist with DA getting thrown right through a side of the cage, crashing through it to the floor and technically "escaping" just a few minutes into the match. Naturally Dario says we can't have shenanigans like that, though I liked the false finish. The real finish has the return of Black Lotus, and I'll level with you: I really couldn't explain her role up through season 2, but now that we haven't seen her on TV in what has to be well over a year, my interest level in her storyline is probably not going to go any higher. She hits a big crossbody off the top of the cage, which looks cool, but honestly who in the crowd was flipping out about a Black Lotus return? Leading up to this match DA lost to Dante Fox, Johnny Mundo, Pentagon, and Matanza. The last person he beat was Chavo. I am not sure how he earned this match, and it was worked like he did not earn it.

TL: I knew what the finish was before the match even started. When you have a matchup where Dragon Azteca, Jr. has absolutely NO CHANCE against a guy like Matanza, but you’re hoping that the face gets his win on the big show of the year, you let the guy with overpowering strength throw the dude through the cage to the floor. Matanza looks like a badass, Azteca “wins.” I did like that the build to the false finish came after Matanza threw Dragon Azteca up against the cage a bunch, which really made that throw come off even better than it would on its own, which is still a great spot. After the restart and Azteca ripping off Cueto’s shirt, you get Matanza slamming Azteca around outside before throwing him back him in as Vamp asks a question about anaconda’s feeding habits. Striker was silent for a good five seconds before he started talking again. Why the hell does MATANZA need help winning a damn cage match? Especially when Azteca hadn’t beaten anybody in months? Super weird match. Black Lotus’ return only to find out that Dario Cueto was a liar seems like the biggest waste of time in wrestling history. How did Lotus not watch any episodes of the show and see Cueto lied basically every week? What a revelation.

Jeremiah Crane vs. Cage vs. Mil Muertes

ER: My god the insanity! This match delivered beyond what I was hoping for, turning into an epic big boy X-Division spotfest, that also had tons of blood and crazy weapons usage. This would have been awesome without the weapons, just three big lugs working stiff and crashing into each other, but the weapons were crazy and the spots around them nuts. So you get Crane's great yakuza kicks, you get all three crashing to the floor like big Nitro cruisers (Crane with his great low-pe, Cage with a big flip dive, Muertes diving off the tope), Muertes slams Crane shoulders first on a chokeslam, Cage drops people with his awesome driver combos, all great stuff. Once Crane brings in a heavy trash can then all hell breaks loose. Everybody takes rough can shots, Crane starts gushing blood, Crane gets chokeslammed through a table on the floor, and back in the ring Cage keeps bouncing around like he's 100 lb. less, pulling off a big rana and a perfect Asai moonsault (and Muertes pulls off a flawless spinning headscissors on the floor, so these guys are all just the lightest heavyweights). Things get crazier and grosser when Crane slams a bunch of wooden stakes right into the top of Cage's head. I've never seen anything like that before. It's like two dozen chopsticks were just sticking stright out of Cage's head, with blood starting to leak out down the sides of his head. My god. He even takes a DDT to hammer the stakes DEEPER into his head. What the hell, you guy!? Muertes goes through a sheet of glass and comes up covered in blood, but they decide to go for ultimate crazy and we get Crane getting superplexed off the top THROUGH Muertes and a couple tables. Holy cow. The singles match portion (with Crane eliminated) between Muertes/Crane was a nice cooldown, with two big tiring dudes beating each other up. I dug their strike exchange, love that Muertes snap powerslam, and love Muertes getting the win to return to dominance. He really should be the top monster in the fed, but damn I really love Cage in LU. Awesome battle of the Kongs.

TL: This was wild stuff for sure, but I had to rewind and see when Crane took the shot to start bleeding and…it was off Muerte’s plancha? That’s…an interesting time to blade. I loved how Muertes always looked dominant even when Cage or Crane would find an advantage for a minute. Three big dives to the outside? Muertes takes them both out with his. Crane and Cage set up tables? Muertes chokeslams Crane through the first one. (He also threw out his awesome twisting variation earlier in the match.) Muertes doing the tilt-a-whirl headscissors on the outside was one of the great eye-opening moments that made you remember how ridiculously athletic Mesias is for a guy his size. Oh, and then in a match full of sick bumps, Muertes is totally fine bumping through a damn pane of glass. I love the build with the table spot, too. Cage moonsault? Nah. Crane crazy splash? Nah. Cage superplexes Crane through Muertes on the table on the outside? DEFINITELY. I also find it funny Cage felt he needed to do Weapon X to finish off Crane, but considering how this match has gone, why not be sure? Singles portion was fine and I liked the Crane came back out after he was eliminated to at least try and get some revenge on Muertes, but ain’t nobody bringing him down. AND THEY FINALLY DO THE THING WHERE THE GAUNTLET PUTS OUT THE LIGHTS!!!! And it leads to Cuerno’s return! Love the staredown where Cuerno has stolen the glove and shows it off only for Catrina to hold up her stone like it’s just as good. High comedy. Awesome stuff here. Cage was close to the best I’ve ever seen him.

TL: The Mundo video that Taya made came off as incredibly try-hard to be goofy and cool. The only good part was when they showed Dario in front of his “I’m Kind Of A Big Deal” nameplate.


Career vs. Title: Prince Puma vs. Johnny Mundo

ER: A long, epic, blown out ECW style bullshit-filled stips match, which is what a big Lucha Underground stips match should be, though sadly I enjoyed the bullshit portions a lot more than the one on one pairing, and the bullshit peaked in the middle of the match. I loved the Worldwide Underground coming out to interfere. Jack Evans is a great kind of stooge: impossibly athletic, and able to convey grace and clumsiness. It's awesome to see him interfere with a million spin springboard kick, but also flee and run into a cameraman. Angelico makes his big return and gets revenge, Ricky Mundo triumphantly tries to save everyone and immediately eats a kick, referee Rick Knox hits a sloppy as hell flip dive on them, Taya is dressed in a cut up neon shirt and jean shorts like she just got dressed to leave the set of a bikini carwash movie, and it all leads to an awesome kick out where Puma hits the double knees and a springboard 450. Great near fall. But I thought everything after that part of the match was a bit too flimsy and anticlimactic, with Mundo overshooting some spots, and a big punch exchange that didn't look great. Puma winning was a nice moment, but then we cut away to a close up on Vampiro trying to do a cool satisfied evil look, but it reads like him standing there looking like the dumbest possible version of Krang's android body. And then we end up getting...

TL: The match did the usual indy standoff that I’ve not even remotely enjoyed one bit in LU but when it spilled to the outside, it picked up mightily. The spot where Puma missed a dive from the crowd railing to the apron and then hit a double springboard shooting star plancha to the outside in basically one motion is one of the best feats of athleticism I’ve seen in LU. Puma actually gets a lot more offense here than I thought considering when Mundo is in control, it’s normally compelling stuff. Instead, this gets worked more as a sprint and a bomb-throwing match. Then the bullshit happens. I liked that Puma’s go-to kick to the nuts gets blocked, that’s decent storytelling considering it’s how he got around stuff in the past. It gets crazy after that with Angelico’s return as he helps clear out the rubble and we get Rick Knox getting his tope con barely over the top giro. Then…they go to commercial. Amazing production. So now two of the worst punchers in LU start trading shots and we get a couple near falls back and forth while Striker points out Vampiro’s obvious turn that has been foreshadowed all year. Puma wins with a 630 after kicking out of everything Mundo had. Vampiro grins like he just let one rip and doesn’t care who knows it. He’s as proud of that fart as anything he’s ever done.

Career/Title vs. Career: Prince Puma vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: Dario just can't have Puma winning a title here, so we get his career put on the line again. And this match didn't really work for me, but I've also been "out" on Pentagon for awhile now. We get our ample assortment of their one loud shotgun handclap sound FX on kicks. We got those in the triple threat match, but a lot of those shots looked like they landed heavy. Here you can tell the shots weren't landing as the sound effect SLAPS kept happening, but there's little crowd reaction. The crowd is the true indicator on a big shot landing. We get our flipping piledrivers, and package piledrivers, and I really dislike Vampiro as an onscreen character at this point. That stupid master story has gone on far too long, and it's idiotic to just have him sitting out there like a doof providing bad commentary, but also apparently being super evil and sinister. None of it works. And I don't actually understand the fans' obsession with Pentagon.

TL: I actually thought it was interesting that the arm break spot came early because of the stipulation, but it made the match clunky and even in spots where the arm shouldn’t have been used at all, it got used in ways that made it look hokey as opposed to brave for trying to fight through it. Amazing that even in what’s obviously his coronation, Pentagon looked like he was half-assing it. At the time, it was somewhat obvious Puma was heading off to greener (yellower?) pastures, but I think they did him a disservice by making him go out like this. Booking him to lose like this because you felt Vampiro needed to be a part of a main event storyline again was better than a guy like Puma going out on his sword. Got it. After Vampiro pulls Penta out of the way of the 630, Striker offers a little kid to come over and do commentary instead of Vamp and I wish the kid took him up on the offer. Penta Driver. Fear Factor. New champ. Sure. Fine. Stoked to watch Ricochet in NXT with proper booking behind him. Penta promises to rule over LU with balls and zero fear, and I agree that it takes a lot of balls and zero fear to put on these types of performances when you’re getting such a strong push.

ER: We get a lot of different storylines advanced in the final couple minute montage, like the lizard people actively choosing to be a far worse team by having Daga decapitate Pindar, the best member of the group. I'm glad Cuerno's back. The heavier guys have been my favorite parts of LU and this season could have only been better with him around. Oh and Godfrey shoots Dario. That's pretty big.

TL: Killing off Pindar is inexcusable. I have to imagine they figure out a way for Cueto to come back even from this: The show would be so much worse off without him as an authority figure, which is amazing sentence to say about a professional wrestling television show when WWE has four authority figures they can’t book well at all. Stoked on Cuerno’s return, stoked on more Rey and Matanza, stoked on Fenix and Melissa riding off into the sunset. But man, VAMPIRO has a master now? Get over it. Nobody cares.

TL: We will most likely be back with weekly’s come this summer when Season 4 starts airing. Considering this season was close to not happening, will be interesting to see how it’s done.

ER: Yeah, it's televised wrestling that still has guys I like. I see no reason to stop now. It's content, baby!

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2016 Ongoing MOTY List: Muertes v. Crane

11. Jeremiah Crane vs. Mil Muertes Lucha Underground 5/15 (Aired 8/9/17)

ER: YES! This was the match I was waiting for. After hearing all season from people who attended the tapings that "this season was the craziest yet" I have now spent 29 episodes being mostly disappointed. And it wasn't due to high expectations, the action just seems nowhere near as good as the first season. This match felt like the closest we've come to the best brawls of the series. I just love Mil in these crowd brawls. He's bigger than the guys we typically see moving through the crowds, so these shots from above feel more like helicopter shots of Godzilla wrecking everything in his path. The match starts at the top of the temple steps and there might not be anybody better than Crane at violently flying through rubble. He can bring violence, but he's best at inviting violence onto his own person. Muertes throws him through the bleachers, brutally through the chairs, in a fun moment he flapjacks Crane on the stairs' handrail and Crane slides all the way down to the floor bent at the waist. Muertes is a beast, and as he beat Crane with meaty fists I actually liked Stryker pointing out "this is why middleweights typically don't fight heavyweights". Crane goes for his bottom ropes tope and Muertes literally doesn't budge, Crane just bounces off of him. We get a bunch of chairs involved including hard shots to the side of the head and nasty spills into them. In an absolutely nuts spot Crane sets up a table on the floor and takes too long leering at Catrina, allowing Mil to come crashing to the floor with a spear. And the spear doesn't actually break the table! Crane goes flying and Muertes just bulls grossly into the table, later slamming Crane through the bent up table. Crane doesn't go down easy and I wouldn't expect him to and didn't want him to, and we get an appropriate amount of violence. This was everything I wanted out of it.

PAS: This was great stuff, Crane is so good at pushing pace, he is like Thomas Hearns, he absorbs punishment and keeps moving forward. I agree with Eric he is great at flying through stuff, just seems to have no regard for landing safely, and it looks awesome. Muertes is the best monster in wrestling, he knows how to lay in huge shots, menace just with movement and bump and sell just enough to seem like he might lose. That table spot was gross, what a loon Callihan is.


2016 MOTY MASTER LIST

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 30: Bloodlines

1. Paul London/Mala Suerte/Saltador vs. Ricky Mandel/Taya/PJ Black

ER: This is just the goofy mess it should have been. Rabbit Tribe kept trying a bunch of silly double teams, with some of them working and some not (which, due to their gimmick, some of their stuff really shouldn't work all the time), but they're approaching it the right way. I usually dislike the "man wrestler turned on by woman wrestler" spots, but I was amused by London diving to get in the way of a potential Taya bronco buster. Maybe it just felt like he fully committed to the spot, really gleefully wanting it. So I suppose charm and committment is the key to making assault funny! I dug Jack Evans' sign ("If I was in the match we would have won by now") and Mala Suerte hits a kind of tornillo dive from the apron over the ringpost. This was fine.

TL: Wait, did Striker seriously say about Paul London, “He took the pill that made him bigger?” Like, he accused him of doing steroids or something? And then he immediately redeems himself by dropping WINK MARTINDALE’S name, which I know popped Eric like it did me. Just wait till I help turn SC into a “High Rollers” blog. We’re really close to becoming a Supermarket Sweep blog, anyways. On to the match, which is indeed a Rabbit Tribe trios match. The aforementioned Taya corner spot sure is something. Jack Evans as a character in a Looney Tunes episode with his signs is right up my alley. Enjoyable to say the least, as Rabbit Tribe has found a way to make the goofiness work. In the postmatch skit, really wish Evans had his whiteboard with him.

2. Jeremiah Crane vs. Mil Muertes

ER: YES! This was the match I was waiting for. After hearing all season from people who attended the tapings that "this season was the craziest yet" I have now spent 29 episodes being mostly disappointed. And it wasn't due to high expectations, the action just seems nowhere near as good as the first season. This match felt like the closest we've come to the best brawls of the series. I just love Mil in these crowd brawls. He's bigger than the guys we typically see moving through the crowds, so these shots from above feel more like helicopter shots of Godzilla wrecking everything in his path. The match starts at the top of the temple steps and there might not be anybody better than Crane at violently flying through rubble. He can bring violence, but he's best at inviting violence onto his own person. Muertes throws him through the bleachers, brutally through the chairs, in a fun moment he flapjacks Crane on the stairs' handrail and Crane slides all the way down to the floor bent at the waist. Muertes is a beast, and as he beat Crane with meaty fists I actually liked Stryker pointing out "this is why middleweights typically don't fight heavyweights". Crane goes for his bottom ropes tope and Muertes literally doesn't budge, Crane just bounces off of him. We get a bunch of chairs involved including hard shots to the side of the head and nasty spills into them. In an absolutely nuts spot Crane sets up a table on the floor and takes too long leering at Catrina, allowing Mil to come crashing to the floor with a spear. And the spear doesn't actually break the table! Crane goes flying and Muertes just bulls grossly into the table, later slamming Crane through the bent up table. Crane doesn't go down easy and I wouldn't expect him to and didn't want him to, and we get an appropriate amount of violence. This was everything I wanted out of it.

TL: So this match is supposed to be one of the highlights of this season from what I heard coming in, but that’s really all I heard. No specifics. This has also had a nice little build and is the first thing I saw when starting up these reviews with Eric. The fact it starts with Mil jumping Crane from behind during his entrance makes it stand out immediately. Then, they just absolutely beat the crap out of each other from that moment on, and as much as I’m hot and cold on Crane, when he decides to bump big and sell, he’s as good as anyone on the planet. This match basically requires it since Mil wants revenge for the cheap win earlier in the season, so Crane is from underneath and takes a great beating. The bottom rope tope suicida where Crane just bounces off Muertes is one of the best spots I’ve seen in quite a while. Muertes no-selling the spit chop gets a pop from me, and an even bigger pop when Crane readies the cannonball only for Muertes to freight train him. I mean, this is an absolute mauling by Muertes. Considering what we had seen Crane do in the tourney matches before this, it’s as if the bookers made this match to force him to sell. The best thing this match does is reinforce that Crane just keeps coming forward, but you just can’t do that against Mil, and when he goes down from the chair shots, it’s a big deal considering what Crane had absorbed all match. Then, as Eric mentioned with the table, Crane got a bit too happy he was finally on offense and took that nasty bump through the table off the spear. And then another powerbomb through the half-broken table. Crane’s comeback with the choke and then the cannonball through the table was well earned, but good lord almighty, THIS is the Crane I want. Mil Muertes is amazing. One of the best matches in LU history, and while the All Night Long match was definitely surprising in a way that made it better than it probably was, this match is right there with it, maybe even more so.

TL: FBI agent coming into Cueto’s office and it ISN’T Burt Macklin? No dice.

3. Texano vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: This was fine considering the dropped stock of both guys (for my personal viewing), and I'm happy Pentagon advanced as I actually could have seen something ridiculous like Texano advancing to the finals. The Famous B stuff feels far too distracting considering they have seemingly been involving Pentagon in "serious" angles. So having him out in a serious fight with Brenda screaming at ringside for most of the match feels off. But I liked the horseshoe finish and Pentagon made the punch count. The arm breaking stuff is pretty stupid at this point, and having Pentagon break Brenda's arm to a huge babyface reaction makes a lot of the "under-advantaged women fighting for themselves" stuff they've done seem pretty pointless (if it hadn't already felt that way). Sexy Star has taken up too much time on TV being "a superhero to abused girls everywhere", and a bunch of dudes still jumping up and down while Brenda screams in pain seems like we went through countless bad segments for nothing. But I guess it's kewl because Pentagon has zero fear? I'm glad he was able to finally stand up to Brenda.

TL: I guess they had to figure out a way for Texano to basically go 50/50 with Dark considering how he was booked in the tourney, but this match didn’t really do much of anything for me considering they had to get Famous B and Brenda involved. Have no idea why Pentagon of all people needs to be winning a match with a foreign object, but that’s what this match ended with. (I agree that it was a good shot, though.) Just one of those matches that advanced nothing. Postmatch was disturbing and rendered Sexy Star pointless, so at least that happened.

TL: Eric absolutely no-selling the amulet stuff with Katrina that’s obviously a rip-off of Legends of the Hidden Temple is beyond me. Considering he’s the only person I know who loved that show more than me, I would have at least expected a Purple Parrots reference or something.


ER: We are now slowly transitioning into a Legends of the Hidden Temple/Supermarket Sweep blog. Gotta do a crowd opinion poll and see how many people would be down for show reports. We can count how many awkward high fives occur between the pre-teen members of the opposite sex, chart the disappointment on partners faces when they get stuck with a dummy partner on the Steps of Knowledge, report on Kirk Fogg's improv abilities as he stretches for time while interviewing contestants about their crystal horse collection....this feels like a dangerous suggestion.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 26: A Fenix to a Flame

ER: Okay, so the first round of the most innovative single elimination #1 contender tournament in wresting history was kind of a bust. It had a memorable Paul London performance and I liked Pentagon/Argenis. That's...not a lot to come out of 4 weeks and 16 matches. Here's hoping we get some burners in the late rounds.

TL: Stoked that Vampiro doesn’t have Arau’s name to mispronounce now. Truly feels like a step forward in the commentary of the promotion.

1. Jeremiah Crane vs. Taya

ER: Really fun match, felt like they played the battle of the sexes at just the right level. Taya didn't take 75% of the match like every awful Sexy Star vs. Male matches, and what she did take felt earned. Her and Crane shouldn't be going tit for tat, and my favorite moment was the way Taya bailed and crumbled during a slap exchange. Once I saw them squaring up for a strike exchange I was fully prepared to eyeroll, but they handled it great with Taya slapping him around and then Crane blitzing her with far harder smacks and she immediately goes down. Taya can really take a mean beating, Crane didn't have to hold back, and there was some wild stuff: Crane hits his low tope suicida, cannonballs her into the chairs, Crane kicks her (har har). Taya gets in some logical comebacks, with a big furry boot to the balls making the most sense to block the facewash. She was nuts for taking some of this stuff, and the match benefitted greatly for it.

TL: Man, forgot where JC was billed from, as “The Last House on the Left” just doesn’t jive. Also, a fan in the crowd has a Rick Knox t-shirt, which, well, what ref t-shirts would you want to own? Tommy Young? Joe Higuchi? Definitely not a Hebner. Definitely not a Red Shoes. Anyways, this match begins on the outside a lot like the Killshot match and Taya already sells the beating way better than Killshot, especially considering she slapped him to start. I also like how Taya came back by outsmarting Crane with the balcony work, because in essence, the way this match is booked, she being a part of the Worldwide Underground means she can have some kind of tactical advantage. And the counter off the running boot is FANTASTIC. Took me a moment to figure out what happened, but man, this is a great match. The other part is that even though Taya is tactically sound, she’s also vain, which leads to her downfall in some ways. Don’t like her last minute counter after the powerbomb for the nearfall, but otherwise, I REALLY liked this match, and Taya’s selling and facial expressions were fantastic. Feel like she’s underrated, but that might be me being in the wrong circle, too.

TL: Aerostar being a time traveler makes me wonder why they don’t do some type of gimmick where he’s the LU bookie. I mean, we’re talking about a fed run by a dude who has hidden several murders in his life, including cops and government officials. You can’t tell me Aerostar being the LU bookie would be beneath this promotion.

2. Mil Muertes vs. Paul London

ER: Okay, 2nd round matches are delivering just fine so far. London pulls out all the stops against Muertes, Muertes gets to come off invincible by surviving tons of London's biggest moves and run-ins from his flunkies. I will say that after all that, the flatliner is a pretty weak "death move", but it's a testament to Muertes that he can make some 1999 offense like a spear/flatliner combo seem plausible as a death move. London is almost a decade removed from WWE and bumping as big as ever. And the rolling heel kick out of the corner is lands rougher than most flashy kicks. London superkicks Muertes around the entire ring, and why is LU so damn inconsistent with their one SLAP sound effect. London's first 5 kicks had the exact same sound effect, but then they don't use it on the 6th? Why use it on almost every strike, but then skip one? It already sounds ridiculous, but it sounds far more ridiculous to make every strike sound exactly the same, and then suddenly have one delivered in dead silence. The multiple superkicks are kind of silly, but I like how London kept stumbling his way into delivering them, and loved the payoff of Mil finally catching one and clotheslining his head off. London can still hit the SSP better than maybe anyone, and I like the Tribe's interference made it seem like London could feasibly advance. 2nd round is definitely 2/2 so far.

TL: I’m here for the cat and mouse game and Paul London taking crazy ass bumps for Mil’s power offense. The cat and mouse game was cute. The flip bump off the tackle was nuts. I actually buy London being on something to start the match, only for Mil to whoop him up so much that he comes to a bit and that’s how he makes his comebacks. Striker makes a “Dick Trickle” joke and I groan. I actually dug the London Ode to the Massie Brothers superkick barrage on the outside for its goofiness. The mushroom stomp is also an awesome move that I wish other folks would use more often. The Mil chokeslam is suitably gnarly here. And then the spear and the Flatliner (which London, a crazy person, takes like a DDT) finishes a fun match. Muertes rules.

TL: Never thought we’d actually see a cuckold situation on LU with the Famous B/Texano stuff but here we are. I mean, it's not 100% confirmed that Brenda and B are an item, but c'mon, if you're B, you have to at least try, right? Brenda’s right though: Texano’s dull.

3. Marty the Moth Martinez vs. Fenix

ER: Another winner, even with the...acting...abilities of Melissa Santos on display towards the end. Fenix made up for the size difference by picking shots, landing big kicks (a spinkick right under the chin and a full extension superkick looked great), big dives, and using speed to make Moth miss him and bump. Marty takes a predictably Marty bump to the floor after charging and missing, flipping through the ropes and splatting on the floor. I definitely like Moth more as a guy taking offense, as he's big but lands hard, and takes nice appropriate flops and tumbles off big strikes. His offense could be a bit more simple, there's always a lot of steps to his slams, but they always land big. He hits a german early and could use more simple suplexes, instead we get a crucifix into a Gory special into a dominator that sees him also take a back bump and land Fenix onto his knees...it reads as complicated as it sounds, but the end result usually looks good. I also like how Moth is always in character during pinfalls, kind of oozing onto his opponent. Finish is silly with Santos stopping more Mariposa interference like a mother telling her kids to behave at the market ("Stop it! You stop it!") but this match was killer. An easy 3/3 for the 2nd round so far.

TL: I get that Santos is cute and there’s a bit of a following there with LU fans but she’s not doing it for me in this little angle. Marty’s schizo athleticism plays up here with a guy like Fenix, who just does crazy things for fun. Mariposa is a great second here, which shouldn’t come as any surprise. This is also some really good traditional rudo work by Martinez with the mask ripping and just general nastiness. Fenix has some great comebacks, and that springboard spinning back kick in the corner was absolutely ridiculous and worthy of the ridiculous sound effect. Fenix also must have read my review of the last match because he does his own mushroom stomp variation and I pop like crazy for it. Mothra is convoluted as all hell but Fenix took it very nastily. In fact, I like a lot of Marty’s indyriffic offense looks because he looks like a killer against a guy like Fenix. Santos only being able to say “Stop it!” is basically Skinemax/Hallmark Channel-level acting and it somehow leads to Fenix moving on. The postmatch payoff makes sense since Santos got involved, but as far as Marty using a fork is concerned, he really needs to watch some Abby in Puerto Rico for proper usage.

ER: This was my favorite episode in some time, the wrestling all delivered and the flow was good. This actually got me interested in the tourney, which I had not been until now.

TL: So this seems like a tourney where LU had 20 guys they wanted to showcase but didn’t want to hand out a bunch of byes. Which means that after the first round, it was going to get good. Pro wrestling tournaments are hard to mess up, and it looks like this one is hitting its stride. Like I said a few shows ago though: They’re really telegraphing the winner in a lot of ways, but at the same time, I’m intrigued to see how they get there and see if they play with those expectations going forward. It’s the least they can do and they’re doing it well.

Also, Eric and I are totally in sync in this show in a scary way and we wrote our reviews separately, so that goes to show you just how good we thought this episode was after quite the barrage of stinkers.

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