LUCHA UNDERGROUND ~FINAL~ EPISODE: Ultima Lucha Cuatro - Part 2

ER: When I started Lucha Underground season 4 TWO YEARS AGO, who could have possibly predicted it would take two years to complete? It was that magical combination of near total disinterest in the product after seeing the show's quality decline each season to the next, with a stupid completionist attitude of "you've already written up the rest of the show, might as well finish this race". I loved the first and second season, found some bright spots in the third season, and have just not really enjoyed a lot of this final season. Replacing Dario with Antonio was a brutal decision, most storyline payoffs were weak or poorly constructed, and the roster wasn't anywhere close to as interesting as it was in the first couple seasons. But I like finishing projects, and this one was more of an attainable goal just because it was actually finite. And so, six years after the show began and just over two years after the show's finale aired, we come to the conclusion of Lucha Underground on Segunda Caida.

TL: LU is one of the weirdest entities in recent wrestling history: A pro wrestling outlet with genuine backing and a fresh take that became this supernova of a favorite within not only the wrestling community, but with actual, honest-to-God mainstream buzz. We're talking about a show that was featured at SXSW after its first season, for crying out loud! And then they predictably gave it all away, going away from what made it so appealing in the first place and making some questionable decisions both with personnel and booking that it could never really recover from. What was found out by the time Season 4 came around was that, just as a show can earn tons of goodwill basically overnight, it can lose it just as fast, if not faster. Talent predictably lost faith in the direction of the company when predatory contracts were handed out like a death sentence, and on top of that, outsiders brought in never really elevated the organically grown original roster member to the heights necessary to thrive. That may have been the most crucial aspect of the company: It was COMPLETELY organic and self-sustaining, and the pro wrestling trope of guys with name value on the outside looking in at the hot new show on the block trying to get involved because they're "veterans" essentially killed a lot of what made it work. So here we are, seeing how high the dead cat can bounce.

ER: I liked our opening Mundo/Taya segment. Mundo has good Meathead Han Solo energy, and Taya's braid shaking sell of the doll possessing her was hilarious. They seem like fun.


2/3 Falls: Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Fenix

ER: This match was good enough, and they tried some big things, but I cannot get interested in the Melissa Santos/Fenix angle. She doesn't have the acting chops to pull it off, and it was far more interesting when they were just fawning over each other like they were in a 2000s Morrissey video. Her having to act through ring announcements is ruffff. The first two falls are a little dry, felt like they were holding back for the third fall, which makes sense. Rudo Fenix isn't really any different than Tecnico Fenix, other than occasionally glowering at Melissa, and a lot of his offense looks like it's focusing more on a soft landing, which makes some of their exchanges look tentative. The tercera gets changed to Falls Count Anywhere by Antonio, and we get some violent callbacks to the earlier falls, but they also don't make a ton of sense. Fenix hit a nice German in the ring on Azteca early in the match, and it's weird when he hits one on the floor that is sold basically the same as the one in the ring. Similarly, Azteca won the segunda with his big tornado DDT, yet when he does the same on the floor Fenix is up wandering into place seconds later. It's weird to do callback spots when you're only calling attention to the newer painful versions being somehow less effective. We get some nice big spots around a table that refuses to break (nice rana off the upper level seating, big Fenix senton off the top to the floor), before it finally gets pulverized by an Azteca cradle driver off the top. The big spots didn't really lead to any big pinfall moments though, and it all felt like it was just building up to be the background to Melissa's involvement, which leads to no justice or interesting storyline wrap. It does lead to Shaul Guerrero as our guest ring announcer for the final hour of the promotion's history, so that's a weird footnote.

TL: A bit too cooperative at the start for this one, and the rapid cuts on the strike exchanges make me beg for a wide shot to see how bad it looked in full. Azteca had a nice dive, and the Fenix Driver to finish the first fall was definitely nasty. Azteca's crispness on offense is always fun, shows out a bit in fall two with the absolutely wild swinging DDT to even it up. The restart to make the final fall Falls Count Anywhere was a bit on the nose, but at the same time, it'll give Fenix an excuse to do something mighty dumb. I liked the German basically out of nowhere on the floor, as suddenness in a stip match based on the ruleset always pops me. The swinging DDT on the floor was even more wild than the one that evened up the match, but I wish there was at least a pin opportunity off it. And then Fenix kicks out at two off the rana through the table, rendering that point moot, I guess. The Fenix Swanton to the floor where he basically wipes out on the table is some Great Sasuke shit, and then Fenix takes the Cassadora through the table for a near fall and I guess you have to actually kill him? And then one time through the table and another Fenix Driver finishes? So Azteca never really had a shot? Just a strange layout for the match, doesn't really give Azteca a rub as the Azteca/Melissa stuff made him look dumb, and then Antonio says, "Love makes you do strange things," which is the cherry on top of this. Shaul Guerrero is fine? This company mystifies to the very end.

The Mack vs. Mil Muertes

ER: This had the same kind of unhinged first season cartoon violence that made that season so damn enjoyable. Two heavyweights work a fast sprint that has hard punches and kicks, big dives, hard bumps, big nearfalls, and an axe getting swung at Mack's head. It is a death match, after all. This felt like the entire match was really made for absolute Temple Fan Enjoyment, as each section was worked the way the Temple seems to respond to. Muertes is my favorite brawler in the fed and I could watch him knock Mack in the head with those big right hands all day. Both guys hit crazy topes, and Muertes has an awesome one that knocks Mack backwards into the ringside casket. But I also really liked the big nearfalls section where both guys had titanic finishers spammed to death, like a sick Mack powerslam and an even sicker flatliner that Mack takes crooked on his head. The finish stretch is classic LU, with Mack hitting a few stunners and then breaking a damn brick over Mil's head, putting him down with one last big stunner. Great all action match that felt like them getting an opportunity to work the match I knew they could work together. They had a singles match earlier this season that was incredibly dumb, a Haunted House match that included a "serious" section where Muertes got out a knife. This showed they had much better ways of integrating weapons into a match that was actually interesting. I'm happy they got a second singles match on the books as it's a singles pairing I always wanted from LU. It took until the literal final episode to deliver, but we made it.

TL: The pre-match was cute, Shaul not finding her footing yet is a bit odd given she's only 30, only an AEW ring announcing credit to her name? I'm extremely happy this matchup is happening, as Mil and Mack were two of the bright spots in the promotion's history, and the casket to start has me stoked. Mack is nuts, hitting his fat guy tope con giro and braining himself on a DDT on the apron. And then things pick up from there and these are two guys that know how to turn it up a few notches. The weapons in the casket is an awesome touch, and then the Muertes tope sending both into the casket was gnarly. We have an axe and a sickle involved, so I guess someone's been watching Mr. Pogo matches. I mean, a couple of weeks ago, someone actually got shot during a wedding angle on IMPACT so an axe doesn't surprise me. An ICE PICK, goddamn. I just rewatched Basic Instinct a couple weeks ago and yeah, the ice pick shots led to grimacing. A spinning heel kick that looked nasty AND Mack saying "KUNTA KINTE 3000" before laying in a shot, Mack rules, man. Muertes also hits his nasty chokeslam, so I feel like I'm getting everything I wanted out of this match and then some. Mack getting to kick out of the Flatliner is a great sign of respect considering how protected that finish is, AND THEN MACK HITS HIM WITH A BRICK AND A THIRD STUNNER FOR THE WIN. Mack's run in LU was an absolute blast, and Muertes was without a doubt the most consistent person in the entire run; to see them go out with one last banger against each other is incredibly satisfying. Highly doubt anything will touch this for me the rest of the night.

PAS: This was good stuff, a classic Mil Muertes garbage brawl with blood, dumb bumps and stupid weapons. Nothing in this felt space alieny or spooky ghosts, just two big dudes escalating violently until the ending. The spin out of the chokeslam into a stunner was really cool, I wonder if Austin and the Undertaker ever did that spot? I liked the Icepick as Kevin Sullivan's spike and the blood looked really cool in Mack Afro's like red soul glow activator.  LU eventually killed me, and I stopped caring about any of this stuff, but this match is the kind of thing that initially drew me to the fed. 

Johnny Mundo vs. Matanza

ER: I am genuinely excited for this one. I don't think I'm being hyperbolic or nostalgic to say that this episode has captured a real Season 1 vibe so far, the obvious best season of the series run. Is this like how March 2001 WCW was actually feeling like things were changing for the better, just a few episodes before it was all over? The power glove thing is soooo stupid but also soooo perfectly Lucha Underground. Mundo has a super power glove and it gives us a sign of Matanza we've never seen before, because now Matanza actually fears something. So we get a fun mixture of invincible Matanza as he kicks out of an early Moonlight Drive and other Mundo attacks, and tosses him with a few hard landing suplexes. The Gift to the Gods looks great, and Matanza really chucks him off the top with an overhead belly to belly. They brawl up to the top of some Temple structures, and we get fun Mundo parkour leap into a far wall, but he still gets caught by Matanza and tossed into a different wall. We get a big stunt fall where Mundo gets tossed through a roof ("You can see the asbestos falling from the walls," says Striker, a poor thing to have on tape when it comes to future class action lawsuits) and we get the big LU moment of power glove Mundo emerging through a door in the wreckage. Scared Matanza is a fun sight and something we might as well get to see in the final episode, love how weird begging off Matanza felt. We still got a couple of Matanza last gasps and this never felt like Mundo was going to dominantly come back, and it still felt like a big deal when Mundo put the monster away.

TL: Matanza's entrance gear is absolutely outrageous, some shit that he should have worn every week. Big time Vader mastodon helmet vibes with it. And yeah, I'm with Eric, the Power Glove is one of the great kitschy pro wrestling gimmicks of our time, and Mundo has the range to do fun stuff with it. And that happens in the start where he shows it could actually take down Matanza, a great bit of psychology to start, and then Matanza catches him and starts absolutely mauling him with sick power moves, including an impressive vaulting belly-to-belly. Mundo had a nice little comeback, too, and then just an insane Super German Suplex from Matanza with Mundo vaulting off the top of the post for maximum height. If you're gonna have a bombfest and aren't going to crush each other like Mack and Muertes, at least go big and with style, you know? The parkour stuff was great, too, which is a rarity in a Mundo match for me, so these guys are doing a great job with this match style, something that has genuinely impressed me. It's wild that LU missed so much in Season 4 only to have a match that encapsulates everything about it in basically one match, and the Johnny rising from the dead to use the gauntlet's power to kick out of the Wrath of the Gods and BIG PUNCH his way to victory, just a boatload of entertaining pro wrestling bullshit. Eric and I have watched a ton of cheesy horror movies lately so all those tropes rang true here, and both guys played the roles to perfection. Wild that he'd give up the glove like that, though, better man than me.

ER: I disagree with Tim's statement that there are such a thing as "cheesy horror movies". 

Pentagon Dark vs. Marty The Moth Martinez

ER: The Moth has basically retired from wrestling post LU (he has had less than 10 matches since this one, and this one aired two years ago), and he goes out with an all time LU performance. This whole match is the Moth show. He hits a true gusher, no blood packets for the Moth, just that thick kind of blood that soaks your entire head and thins your hair. Marty throws himself around ringside with abandon, going through several sets of chairs and hard into the ringpost (which is when the blood starts flowing). LU is a fed where basically everyone (especially heels) was required to take sprawling bumps through ringside chairs, in the same way everyone in NOAH had to learn how to get thrown into a guardrail. Guys getting tossed into chairs is always something that lands with me, with so many moving parts that it always looks painful and chaotic. Now considering guys go through chairs at least once per LU episode, it's pretty awesome that Moth's chair bumps actually stood out as crazy. He hip tosses Pentagon through a table, rips at his mask, stabs him with a fork, eats what appears to be a piece of bacon, and gets Pentagon bleeding. The match needed more blood, so this is obviously a good thing. That's about all Moth got out of this, busting Pentagon open and eventually hitting him while stuck in a trashcan, because the bulk of this was Moth making Pentagon look like (Antonio Cueto voice) A GOD. Moth bumps around for Pentagon and makes Penta come off like the top guy, eats a flipping piledriver off the floor, flies out of the ring through a table, gets a barbed wire board bounced off his head, gets thrown through glass (!), and eats a sick package piledriver through a bunch of chairs. Pentagon was essentially working as Hogan during the last couple LU seasons, all catchphrases and relying on others to violently bump for him, but with enough charisma it is a tecnico formula that clearly works.

TL: Perhaps the most telling thing about LU is that Marty Martinez, who has essentially disappeared from pro wrestling since this finale, is in the main event of a show in the last episode of the series, and is in a match that really has little doubt going into it of who will win. Just an absolutely weird run for him, too, as the whole psychopath gimmick was so hit-and-miss outside the ring, only to see him overperform inside the ring, including with Fenix at Ultima Lucha Tres. But we know it's Penta Dark's night to end it on top, and the only thing to consider going in is if he'll actually go for it or hold off knowing that sweet Tony Khan money is coming. Marty is going for it early on, though, taking wild bumps and hitting an absolute gusher two minutes in, and if you're gonna go out, you might as well go out bleeding all over the place. Penta is bringing it, so I'm happy about that, at least. These two really do just go all out, chair shots, the garbage can shots, and then the bat shots to the garbage can Penta is stuck in, just really violent shit. I mean, Marty does lesser stuff like the table bump to the outside and then goes through the pane of glass full on, takes the Fear Factor through chairs...look, this is absolutely the Triple H at Royal Rumble 2000 performance from Marty, a very good way to go out, and Penta did enough here to make it worth watching. I don't think I liked it as much as Muertes/Mack, but I'm a big fan.

ER: Hilariously, a barely mobile Vampiro brings in his MASTER, who is actually honestly seriously called Hexagon Dark (because why would you follow a master who has one less side?) and Vampiro's master is the tiniest little man! I thought it was Darby Allin, but apparently it is Australian Suicide, who is the same size as AAA era Rey. They couldn't have found anyone with decent size? Bring back Ezekiel Jackson from the grave and put him under a Penta mask? I'm pretty sure the only guy in LU smaller than Hexagon would be Mascarita Sagrada, but I'd have to see them standing side by side to be certain. And then Jake Strong comes out and cashes in Gift of the Gods to be the final champion in LU history!! The whole episode felt designed to give the LU fans nothing but matches they wanted and finishes they wanted to see, and then the entire series ends with the fans bummed out and quiet about Jake Strong.

TL: The Australian Suicide Hexagon Dark master bullshit was hilarious to me, and leading to the obvious Strong cash-in bullshit was even more hilarious. Marty goes out like that knowing he's done, and then you get about as impactful a Strong cash-in as when he won his MITB cash-in. This means that LU absolutely was thinking a Season 5 was going to happen, when everything about the show said otherwise, and the postscripts, with Matanza getting his heart ripped out (?!?), Strong getting the glove, Taya being possessed by a damn doll, I think I would have loved to see Lucha Underground Season 5: Temple of the Gods. AND THE WADE BARRETT REVEAL. GODFREY IN THE LIMO. Why is Lucha Underground deciding to become interesting right when I lose interest? AND LITTLE CUETO IS BACK? Okay, I take back everything I said, bring it back, man.

ER: And we get a long, wistful series of vignettes, segments designed to set up the storylines for a season 5 that was assuredly never going to happen. Black Lotus murders Matanza with the gauntlet, Strong steals the gauntlet from series punching bag and perpetual loser Dragon Azteca Jr. (breaking his ankle just to remind him that he's a loser), Taya is possessed, and Wade Barrett is revealed as a higher power (in 2018 we would have had no clue how true a higher power he was, as taking Mauro Ranallo's voice off of television is a real god tier move). And to really hammer home the cruelty, we get one final glimpse of Dario being resurrected, and as much of a drag parts of this last season was, I would have obviously been back for season 5 and WARRING CUETOS!! But they went out with a very strong last episode, and that will leave a lot of goodwill for a promotion that I watched in its entirety.

TL: This is still pretty obviously the death knell for the promotion given most of the guys on top are with other promotions, namely AEW, but you have to give them credit for at least making it look like they had a plan going forward. Dueling Cuetos, leaning in completely to the Gods motif, I mean, gimme 22 episodes of that, please. Someone is going to want to watch this the entire way through years from now because it'll be readily available on something other than Tubi and be flabbergasted by what happened here: a promotion that got a ton of talent, most of them at exactly the right time, but only went forward with specific guys due to a number of factors that seem so incredibly dubious in retrospect, only to stumble sideways into greatness multiple weeks due to that multitude of talent. LU was odd until the very end, and perhaps the only thing that would be more odd and more fitting is if somehow they got everyone back together for Season 5, even with all odds stacked against them. We'll be ready when it happens.

COMPLETE, SOMEHOW, EPISODE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND

2018 MOTY MASTER LIST

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 19: Savagery

TL: Gonna do a little something different while reviewing this: Watching the whole episode while my overly loud dishwasher is running in the background. When you live in a 450 sq. ft. granny unit, sometimes things like this are unavoidable, but also, I much prefer the constant whirr of the dishwasher to at least 95% of the dialogue on this show. And my point is immediately made by the opening segment featuring Cueto and Strong. Another time where AEW not letting Jake talk is a good thing; then again, seeing a known racist have to react positively to a perceived ancient piece of Mexican history is high comedy, as is his idea of manifest destiny with saying the phrase, "This isn't your temple. It's mine!" as he leaves. What a segment. Dishwasher, don't fail me now.


Aerostar vs. PJ Black vs. Hernandez vs. Big Bad Steve vs. King Cuerno vs. Jake Strong vs. Dante Fox

ER: Oh damn we get a battle royal in LU, AND the long overdue return of Big Bad Steve!? Okay Big Bad Steve got eliminated as I was typing that first sentence and I hate this now. This was a pretty bad battle royal. It goes only a few minutes, Steve and Hernandez get eliminated super early the exact same way, people keep showboating on the apron, Dante Fox returns after a year and gets a couple of slippery escapes, whatever. The show is named after Jake Strong, he mush mouthed his way through the opening video with Cueto, we knew who was winning, but that doesn't mean they had to go out and do a battle royal that took as much time as the entrances. Lame.

TL: BIG BAD STEVE BACK IN THE GODDAMN BUILDING. And I'm happy to see Dante back, too, as him going balls to the damn wall with Killshot was worth a return. It's a battle royal, which should make Eric happy. (Arrested Development Narrator: "It didn't.") He likes to do a yearly get together where we blind pick battle royals based on the participants. The last one we did, he chose the Slamboree '98 Cruiserweight Battle Royal to start and I ran away with the entire evening on points, blowing away the field. Can't believe he has me back for it, to be honest. In less than a minute, Big Bad Steve gets to show off why he's a goddamn base god for Aerostar and then throws a fantastic right hand only to get eliminated first. About right. This is obviously a vehicle to get Strong right into the main event. Sad that it has to come at the expense of guys like Fox, who showed out to such an amazing extent that him getting treated like an afterthought here is incredibly puzzling and incredibly sad. And then they make the battle royal pointless by just having a 7-way match for the belt next week. And it sets up a Mundo match later that night? Okay. I know I'm just getting over food poisoning but I still don't get what just happened. On the bright side, guaranteed more Big Bad Steve, baby!!! Dishwasher update: A low rumble, but still loud enough to drown out Striker. A good start.

Killshot vs. The Mack

ER: This was more angle than match, using a first time pairing that could have potentially been interesting, to instead set up an uninspiring Mil Muertes run in. The spear Muertes hits on Mack is arguably the weakest I've seen from him. The match didn't really have time to go anywhere interesting.

TL: This had a couple neat things going for it and then they ended it for the angle, which in itself seemed pointless, especially given how well Mack came off in browbeating Muertes before. This was very much in the vein of those old Attitude-era TV segments where a 2-3 minute match gets thrown away for an angle that didn't need to be expanded upon. Dishwasher update: A couple of louder whirrs every now and then, really digging in deep to get that good clean.

ER: I've gotten so into Sammy Guevara crushing it while playing the lowest man on the totem pole in The Inner Circle that it's now weird to see him as the plucky babyface joining XO and Ivelisse. The trios match should still be good.

TL: The Sammy reveal was fun as he's been one of the only people I've enjoyed since AEW has started up, but holy crap, the inside jokes about Famous B's 7-year contract for an LU talent write themselves. That's the only thing I enjoyed about this. This whole show has been just nothing but promos, really. Dishwasher update: Cleaner than Famous B after that trash can shot.

Jake Strong vs. Johnny Mundo

ER: This is that kind of 2011 pro wrestling vibe that I have absolutely no interest in revisiting, baby! There were some things I liked here, big individual moments, but I don't think it added up to a very good match. Mundo takes some big bumps, including this awful moment where he hit a kick from the apron and managed to fall on the buckles, apron, ring steps, and floor, winding up with his legs over his head. But seconds later he was totally fine. Mundo is such an athletic bumper that he often winds up making bumps absolutely meaningless in a Petey Williams kind of way. And this was certainly a match where no move mattered. Both guys took control at will, no matter what they had just taken. Strong took over after taking a sitout powerbomb on the floor, Mundo took back over after taking a big lariat to the back of the head, both guys just kept popping up whenever necessary. And by the time we get to ankle lock reversals I am praying for death's sweet release. Matanza runs out at the end, there's an obvious blood packet to really plant the flag in this shit sundae, and I am happy it's over.

TL: Johnny just got to walk out in front of 40k+ and work a minute in the Rumble for a big payday and you have to be happy for him to be able to go from a promotion on its last legs (and the husk of Impact!) to being an upper-midcarder for the world's biggest promotion at the drop of a hat. I kept waiting for something to jump out in this match given they know each other pretty well but nothing really made an impact for me outside of Johnny's nuts bumps to the outside. And then they start brawling into the crowd and the sweet, slow, rhythmic churn of my dishwasher soothes me as Morrison decides to turn a wrestling match into a literal parkour demonstration. There was no rhyme or reason to this match. A guy like Strong who has been put over like a world-beater didn't get to look like one here; 50/50 booking is such shit. If a guy is a world-beater, make him one. Have him show a weakness every now and then, but now he's just trading spots with a guy who, while presented as a top guy, is working this like any other match. Just mind boggling to me. It's amazing to me that I'm about to type this but here it is: The Nunchucks Match from earlier this season blows this match out of the water. Strong leaned into everything Mundo threw, so there's that, I guess. This is very much in the Adam Cole/Michael Elgin ROH Title mold and folks, that match style ain't it. It's wild they worked a 15 minute match that led to that ending considering how Strong has been booked but hey, what do I know? Matanza comes out, busts Johnny open, takes Taya on a tour of (Jake Strong's) temple, and then wails away on Mundo as if he was Ralphie finally giving Scott Farkus what for. And as the dishwasher starts to drain out the dirty water for the rinse cycle and steam starts to form, the sweet release of this show finally happens. 45 minutes of my life gone, never to be gotten back, but transcribed in all its hellish nature for you, the reader of this website.


ER: They went from the best episode of the season, to (I think) pretty easily the worst. The wrestling was not good, the angles were not interesting, and this whole thing felt like the ultimate wheel spinner of an episode. This was not the go home show to Ultima Lucha, but it made me much less interested in Ultima Lucha.

TL: Three. More. Episodes.

COMPLETE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 18: Spiders and Skeletons

Matanza vs. Taya

ER: I liked how the mixed it up here, at least having Taya be maybe the only person who has not been sacrificed against Matanza this season. Worldwide Underground has been pretty absent from the last many shows, didn't think they'd show back up by the end of the run. Taya doesn't look great against Matanza, they overused the SFX, she threw two love tap kicks to the balls that really should have been made into a bigger deal; Matanza sold them like he didn't realize she had thrown a strike, Vampiro wasn't even sure she had kicked him low, and that's the kind of spot that could have provided actual drama. Has Matanza been kicked in the balls before? Do we know how he'd react? Does he possibly have no genitals? Was there an online graphic novel that explained that Matanza's genitals were burnt in a fire? I mean, so much time has gone by since the introduction of the Matanza character that it could have been the very first thing we learned about him. It's not hard to picture Dario yelling to the temple "Hees genitahls wur sacruficed...toothuh GODZZZ." But the spot is absolutely meaningless and could have been much more. Mundo makes his return and saves Taya from potential sacrifice, and then throws some of the worst grounded elbows mine eyes have seen. The man has murdered several people, you can lay in the elbows a bit.

TL: A match that had part of me thinking, "How are they going to book their way out of this corner by not killing Taya?" And that's how they did it, with her getting 2/3 of the match, kicking Matanza in the aforementioned questionable cajones, and then, somehow, someway, being in the best position to win the match? And then quickly, Matanza remembers, "Oh, right. I'm Matanza." Right in time for Johnny to kick and capoeira slide his way into the mount for those elbows. Look, Morrison has made a career out of making the flashy look good. There hasn't been a single non-flying strike I've seen him throw that makes me think, "Hey, let's have him lightly tap Matanza's mask with the point of his elbow. That'll make everyone look good." Do love the idea that we are going to see Matanza sacrifice them both at some point, sending Johnny back to Titan and Taya, er...elsewhere.

Mil Muertes/Fenix vs. Dragon Azteca Jr./The Mack

ER: This has to be the best LU match of the season. It clocked in just under 10, presented us a couple fresh match-ups, and had a real gem of a Fenix performance throughout. Also, the team of Muertes and Fenix is SO much more interesting than the played out Lucha Bros. team and it's cruel that this is the only time we've seen it. Power Guy/Flyer teams can't get too much more awesome than Muertes/Fenix, and Pentagon is just a lame Muertes who spends time doing stupid hand gestures to fill in the gaps while Muertes just fills space by punching people. Fenix breaks out some of his all time greatest rope work, bouncing from the top to the middle to the top to the middle to his back, working a fantastic sequence with Mack where Mack blocks a frankensteiner by taking out Fenix's legs, only for Fenix to keep blocking his block by hitting that middle rope and springing right back. Fenix also had a couple of killer saves, the best was him leaping into the ring and kicking Azteca right in the back of the head (but I do love him running in with a punt right across Mack's face), and he bases like mad for Azteca. Azteca hits one of his most awesome tornado DDTs, Fenix tossing him up into the air like a drunk uncle tossing a baby before getting wiped out on the way down. Muertes was a real wrecking ball, and he and Mack had a nice short punch exchange in the middle, Mack takes a couple big spills to the floor, and I just adore this speed and power combo of Fenix/Muertes. There were only a couple moments of the match I didn't care for: Mack really wedged his stunner into the match, and it's an unnecessary cheap pop minor league baseball stadium spot that he doesn't need to do, let alone several times in a match; and we got a weird moment that could have been awesome, when Fenix just leveled a ringside camera guy while swinging through the ropes, looked like he just clocked this guy with swinging legs. Camera guy goes down, dramatically rolls through, and springs back to his feet triumphantly. I...don't get it? Is that dude in some kind of angle? Or did they just not edit out a moment where a camera guy took a kick from arguably the most notable kicker in Lucha Underground, and immediately brushed it off. Vampiro handled it as well as possible ("Even our camera guys are bad ass!") but call an audible dude, stay down. For a fed that edits everything, it's really bizarre that this was left in, which makes me think it was left in for a reason....but why?

TL: Mauro gets a lot of righteous criticism, but holy shit, Matt Striker just made a Meek Mill pun for Mil Muertes and that has me on tilt. Azteca and Muertes are a good pairing, I like seeing what they do together, and after the Fenix/Mack pair off, this hits a different level. PWG has had a house tag style for a while that lends itself more to elaborate set pieces and spots that become more non-sensical as the match progresses, and while they do use that as a template for this match, they hit things much more crisp, they sell better, and the high spots are even more impressive. Azteca with an insane lifting tornado DDT, then, his dive gets one upped by Fenix. Then Mack is like, "Hey, 300 lbs. No hands." So the pace for this has picked up, but they aren't doing shit that defies the idea of what wrestling is and spits in its face, essentially. Muertes breaks up a pinfall attempt with a goddamn straight right hand. The best thing this match does is give you just enough of the pairings that are to come at Ultima Lucha, and then in the off-pairings, it's like they take it up another level. Fenix's rope running in this match is at the highest possible difficulty and he hits it all clean. And then we get a decisive finish to boot. I mean, look, that tag match really shouldn't have worked at all due to the layout, but they not only made it work, but they excelled in making the pairings that meant something stand out AND built awesome transitions in the process. I don't know if I liked it to the extent Eric did, but it's hard not to look at this match in the grand scheme of this season and wonder why it took 18 weeks for folks to look like they gave a damn. Then again, these are four of the most consistent guys on the roster and they got time to show out. Excited to see what they do in their singles matches.

Ricky Mundo vs. Famous B

ER: I thought this was a pretty terrific Ricky Mundo squash, and made me more interested in him than anything up to this point. He hits a big headbutt (that the camera foolishly shoots from above) and looked like he was really laying in shots. Famous B got to cut a funny return promo before the match, and bumped like a loon for Mundo. Mundo's match winning neckbreaker could have looked like the indiest shit ever, except B whipped the back of his head right into the mat. I had forgotten about the Mundo doll thing, and I'm not really feeling a Mundo/Taya blowoff, but I liked what they did here.

TL: Ricky gets to wrestle! So does Famous B! This was fine. Famous B knows how to bump like a goddamn crazy person, at least. I'd like to bring up the psychosexual pretenses of Ricky going after Johnny's wife, but then you have Ricky doing the goddamn crossface on Brenda while laying on top of B and it's like the pretense is right there out in the open for everyone. I guess I'm trying to say Ricky wants to both kill Johnny and have sex with him. There. I said it. Now I feel dirty.

Pentagon Dark vs. Reklusa

ER: I must be back on that LU hype train baby, because this was another really good match! This was also one of my favorite matches on the season, coming just 15 minutes after another Match of the Season contender. Two in one episode? Lucha Underground is the greatest! This match gets several things right that have been lacking this season, and they worked a cool match without any extra gimmicks. It helped that I think this was Pentagon's strongest performance of the season, and Reklusa may have been his most interesting opponent. Reklusa dove off the top during his entrance and proceeded to land grounded shots far harder than Johnny Mundo threw at Matanza earlier, and we get cool stuff on the floor like Reklusa going for a cannonball but getting caught and powerbomb tailbone first on the apron, and her selling Pentagon's leg kicks more effectively than anyone else has all year, really looking like she gets the nuance of a kick to the meat of the thigh. Pentagon based like hell here, catching a big rana from the top to the floor, and taking a tope/tornado DDT, both moves that could have easily flopped. He turned up the sadism, dropping Reklusa on the apron with a package piledriver, and Reklusa's bumping was really good throughout, taking some really tough spills and getting up each time. They even used the ball kick - the one I railed against earlier due to how sloppy and half-hearted it was used in the Matanza/Taya match - effectively here, making it look like Reklusa really could beat Pentagon. The match ending package piledriver was insane, genuinely looked like Pentagon's goal was to break the ring with Reklusa's head. This could be the best Lucha Underground match to feature someone who will only be in one Lucha Underground match.

TL: I actually haven't seen much of Chelsea's work, although I know she has a good presence and she's extremely athletic from the clips of hers I've seen. Love the plancha to start! You can also add, "Will recklessly take bumps on her tailbone on the apron" to that list. Dear God that's sick. Even when Pentagon goes on offense and he looks a bit more fired up than usual, Reklusa is selling like a QUEEN for him, glassy eyed, wobbly kneed, and actually making the sound effects seem worthwhile. And then she hits a goddamn rana from the top to the floor and follows up with Candice LeRae's tope con tornado DDT. This has been the Reklusa show and Penta is totally along for the ride, but I'll give him credit that he's at least bringing it more than he has in other matches this season. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that folks are kicking out of package piledrivers on the apron and Canadian Destroyers, but at least there was finality with the Fear Factor to finish. I now want to seek out more Chelsea Green, incredibly impressive stuff. Get her on NXT TV immediately. Dug the post-match angle, too, as Marty looked like he stepped out of a Creed video to absolve Penta of his sins. Absolutely wild how the intergender main events have killed it these last couple weeks. They've been the best part of the season by far to me. Somehow don't think Ricky/Taya will keep that run going.

COMPLETE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 11: Last Man or Machine Standing

ER: I kinda liked the sappy tenderness of the Melissa/Azteca opening, with Melissa getting one half of an Aztec Medallion. She needs to win one more challenge to get a full one, which she can then give to a Temple Guard for passage into the Shrine of the Silver Monkey.

TL: Eric normally gets to write his reviews first and then I get to add my thoughts in (normally blind, but if the point is good enough, I’ll amend it to respond). He goes right for the Legends of the Hidden Temple joke with the half medallion. This is why we’re friends. Ya’ll think I’m joking about trying to turn SC into a Game Show Blog. We’re gonna get the Buzzr sponsorship and everything. Next level stuff.

Haunted House Match: The Mack vs. Mil Muertes

ER: These are two of my absolute favorites in the fed, so I figured it would not have much chance of living up to my internal hype, and they spent too much time with goofiness for it to ever get close to the level of violence in the best Muertes LU brawls. I don't know why they felt like airing this "Haunted House" in August, or why these two just couldn't have a cage match. Instead we got some nasty bumps, but also weapons that were too extreme to actually use them properly. So you had Mack getting smashed shoulders first on a powerslam, but then you have Muertes using a crowbar as a weapon in the least effective way you could use a crowbar as a weapon; or Muertes making a massive dent in the cage by spearing Mack into it, but then getting a fucking KNIFE while Vampiro and Striker start panicking and flipping out with "Oh my god he's got a KNIFE!" screaming...and then Muertes hits Mack with...the handle of the knife. What? Mack comes up with no cut but a big old blood packet face. "Blood is everywhere, it's all over Muertes!" as this weird paint colored blood is strictly on Mack's face. There were cool big moments like Muertes hitting a great spinebuster through a table, and the absolutely bonkers finish with Muertes hitting a brutal DDT off the top through a table...but then you also had Muertes struggling and taking too long to get his leg over the top of the cage for a crossbody while Vampiro talks about how he's never seen someone climb a cage faster. And as much as I love Mack, him coming back for deadly revenge and hitting a few Stunners is just not going to seem cool in a "bloody" brawl. There was too many cheesy props (and I'm not even complaining about the pumpkin, because it probably would hurt to get hit with a pumpkin), and I think if they went more serious and actually treated it like a blood feud it could have been damn good and maybe our first List match from LU this season.

TL: It’s refreshing to see a wrestling organization go after a holiday-themed episode a little differently. WWE does Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas episodes in such a kitschy manner that it’s rarely entertaining, but having this style of cage match, with all the weapons and the kooky decorations, gives it a setting that comes off as 100% authentic for a show on a network run by Robert Rodriguez. There’s even a SICKLE on the damn cage. Also, considering the participants, this is basically an LU dream match for me, so hopefully this lives up to the hype.

The Melissa/Katrina stuff before the match started was I guess necessary? If It means we get another Fenix/Muertes match down the line, count me in. This match starts in an interesting way: Mack doesn’t go after the weapons at all, trying to work the match straight, whereas Muertes, LU Deathmatch king, is out here using all the weapons he can. He also throws his fantastic spinning chokeslam so I’m loving this early, probably a bit more than Eric did. I’m guessing the cage was actually supposed to give way more than it did on the spear spot, But then we get back in and, well, Mil Muertes starts actually using a goddamn knife in a match. He actually stabbed and sliced a guy on the side of his head. I watched Mance Warner imply he’d use a knife in a match at the August SUP show, but the environment was such that it came off as more whimsical than threatening; a comedy spot from a madman. This, though, wow. An actual knife being used in a match in 2018. And yeah, it looked weird; the blood was lighter than the juice from my Stark’s Steakhouse ribeye from the other night. The finish was suitably nasty, but I agree with Eric: This didn’t seem like the match it should have been in this environment. I did like a good chunk of it, but this could have been better had Mack worked this more like a brawl instead of working his usual Mack stuff into the match. Also, you know, had Muertes used the sickle instead of the knife. Go the full Mr. Pogo, man.

Jake Strong vs. Aerostar

ER: I had just watched the really good Jake Hager/Tom Lawlor match from MLW before this, and Aerostar is just a bad match for Jake. Aerostar opted to stand and strike instead of try a bunch of crazy flying body attacks or something, and none of his strikes looked very good, throwing some so so punches at Strong's torso and hitting unconvincing leg kicks. Strong didn't look as impressive as he's been looking, because Aerostar didn't really look impressive. It was too much of a squash, and Aerostar can be in cooler stuff than getting run over by this guy. We don't need this to be a 1998 WCW throwback with Hugh Morrus squashing Villano V.

TL: Jack Swagger worked Rey Mysterio and the matches were fun, but that was against perhaps the greatest babyface of all time. If we’re going WCW in 1998, Aerostar is basically Lizmark, Jr. here, and Swagger can’t even be bothered to be Perry Saturn. Nunchuks scaring off a dude who’s about to do a Bellator fight? I guess?

ER: Well another character died. That's the...third death this season? This is starting to feel like it's going to ramp up to the last season of Oz levels where they just started murdering a couple of guys per episode.

TL: The killing of Not Paul Heyman isn’t even a Top 10 death in the show’s history and is of so little consequence that it matters even less in the grand scheme of things. In a show where Lorenzo Lamas gets his eyeball ripped out of his head and a mini gets sacrificed by bludgeoning, a knockoff Chucky doll making a madman kill folks comes off as incredibly tryhard. Also, folks are literally getting sacrificed in the middle of the ring this season; feels like something that needs to happen in Orlando with some folks who have been down there a few years too many.

Last Man Standing Match: Cage vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: I have made so many terrible choices this year that I keep watching and writing about companies who use Pentagon. I've written up like 60 Pentagon matches and watched more, and I definitely have nothing new to say about them at this point. And I'm already thinking that *before* Striker starts telling Bible stories. This is the further HHHing of Pentagon, and it's getting fairly insufferable, though probably not yet to Sexy Star levels (now why the hell did we all waste time watching *that*?). Cage gets to show off early, and things peak with Cage hitting a monstrous suplex from the middle rope through a table at ringside. But moments later, after taking what looked on film to be an insane bump, Pentagon just goes on his death tear, hitting Cage with chairshots and a hard trash can and trash can lid. We hit peak "is it worth it?" stupidity when Cage for reasons no rational person could accept, opts to take a Mexican Destroyer off the top rope through a set up table. WHY?? This naturally does not end the match. Pentagon immediately rolls out of the ring after hitting that huge move, and starts loading the ring with chairs. Yes, we were supposed to think that he was getting the next killshot ready in case the monster wasn't really dead, but Pentagon is so sluggish he makes it so the biggest move of the season doesn't have any drama, telegraphing that it wasn't really the finish. Also, to do such a wild table breaking move off the top rope is just incredibly dumb to do on the same episode where you have the OTHER biggest top rope move through a table spot of the season. Who opted to air those matches 20 minutes apart? They also chose to have Melissa Santos get roughed up and smashed into the cage by Catrina the same episode as hapless Jewish lawyer gets stabbed in the neck and gurgles his life away while we get more creepy doll murder talk. Who's going to be thinking about Melissa eating a beating at this point? Pentagon even gets to break Cage's arm, and it really is ridiculous the level they are sacrificing everyone to the altar of Pentagon. He does get fantastic reactions, and does take risks, but man he's more dominant than early Matanza at this point. Where do you go from here?

TL: The range for LMS matches I’ve watched in 2018 means this will land between Charlotte/Becky Lynch (Very good) and Gargano/Ciampa (Not at all good not even for a minute). The issue with this match, as Eric alluded to, is Triple P, and if this is one of those 20/80 matches where Cage dominates but Pentagon pulls it out, well, I’m prepared for it. I won’t like it at all, but at least I know not to be surprised. Hilariously, on the same show where an actual knife gets used, the broken bottle slicing open Pentagon was at least a marked improvement. We don’t need unprotected chair shots in 2018. Or garbage can shots. Both guys take moves through tables off the apron and get up and don’t sell a goddamn thing. Then Cage hits the Drill Claw, probably the most protected finish in LU, and not only does Penta survive it, he’s the first on offense. Even more egregious than doing the Mexican Destroyer off the top in the first place is Pentagon GOING TO GET STUFF DURING THE COUNT. Doesn’t even pretend that was good enough to finish. Kill the destroyer dead. It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s essentially a superkick. The finishing sequence is maddening to me. Can't break Cage's arm at all? Then break BOTH his arms. Yes, the cinder block is something Cage dealt with before and was the Only Way To Put Him Down For Good. C’mon now.

Okay: The psychological argument for everything here is that Cage, by taking all that punishment and having been portrayed as essentially a cyborg, needed to have all that done to him to put him down for good. It’s the same idea behind the Joey Lynch/PCO finish from SCI Night 2 this year. Excess of violence in the face of insurmountable odds. PCO took a Destroyer off the top and then Lynch needed four superkicks and seven moonsaults to put him down. Seeing it live, it was easy to get caught up in the moment, and PCO in 2018 essentially is Frankenstein. The problem is that later that night, Lynch didn’t need nearly as much to win in the final. It felt truncated in a way, like the PCO match existed in a completely different universe, and it took away from the impact of what was supposed to be the Most Important Moment Of The Night. While that didn’t happen in this particular match, what DID happen is exactly what Eric said: You’ve gone to a point so far ahead of the natural progression of a title reign that now, Triple P is gonna look like a dumbass when he does lose the belt in some haphazard way. This is “protecting” the character at the expense of literally the entire universe the match takes place in; mutually assured destruction via suicide. It doesn't matter that Pentagon went through all this to keep the belt, or that Cage needed to take that much punishment to stay down for a 10 count. It's gonna be happenstance as soon as Pentagon slips on that banana peel.

We’re halfway through the season but somehow, someway, for a 22-episode run, the first 11 eps have felt much, much longer than that. And now we have a wedding to look forward to next week and both the two people getting married and the person most likely to intervene and cause shenanigans have killed people this season. If there isn’t a death during the wedding, I’d call it the upset of the season.

COMPLETE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 10: A Snake Scorned

Saltador vs. Matanza

ER: A good cult leader occasionally needs to sacrifice one of his acolytes to either test their faith or further control them, but you gotta be really careful when you only have a couple followers to start with. You can't sacrifice your entire cult, you need to build up some numbers before you start sacrificing. I liked Saltador all tingly from molly, tickling and caressing Matanza, hitting a nice pop-up dropkick, then getting wasted. It does come off silly that they keep calling these minor beatings "sacrifices" (and really, we've seen tons worse one-sided beatings in this fed), when we've already had two ACTUAL murders happen this season. Taking a powerslam feels a little bit underwhelming when we're comparing it to a beheading.

TL: I think London deciding not to be like Jim Jones or David Koresh and going down with the folks whose minds he’s enslaved is a neato twist on the idea of a cult. Like he got an advanced copy of “Wild Wild Country” and realized the best way to control folks is to just be the outspoken leader and have honest-to-god minions. Kind of self-perpetuates the idea you’re that much more important than the others AND gets the point across that you also can’t fully protect anyone from anything that leads to their imminent demise. We all get sacrificed eventually.

Point is, molly or not, Salty should have known better.

TL: Killshot with a good cocky promo and it might be the most I’ve ever liked him when he wasn’t in a death match. Like actual motivation for him now. Totally throws me off.

Killshot vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: This had a lot of really dumb dance partner practice run stuff, a couple parts where it genuinely looked like they were just practicing their routine so they could be ready for the semis. For every move that looked cool (Azteca leaping from top rope to apron to give Killshot a rana, Killshot hitting his Fosbury Flop dive to the floor), there was another moment that just looked like poor exhibition; Azteca and Killshot struggling to get a knucklelock that allowed Killshot to get Azteca on his shoulders (what is with so many people having offense now that requires their opponent to be on their shoulders? Is this stupid Kenny Omega influence? I can't think of a more unnatural spot for an opponent to end up than seated on your shoulders, like Killshot took his girlfriend Azteca to Glastonbury), or one awful spot where Killshot took ages to set up an arm submission, Azteca just standing still while Killshot walks around him holding his arm, both men working on material while we watch. Match was as expected: Had some big moves, none of the moves hurt the other enough to keep them from hitting their own moves.

TL: I really don’t get why folks who are athletic need to do these cooperative spots that never look good or fluid or smooth. It’s a really messed up way to look at it from a psychology standpoint: The human mind anticipates the big move and basically ignores everything leading up to it, which is why spots like that still get pops. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense. Only if it looks good at the end. There’s a couple spots here that read like, “Okay, so you can read the dude’s mind and anticipate his moves, but you can’t actually move when he’s doing the move.” It’s just mind numbing. The Killstomp 100% should have gotten a 2 count (maybe not even that) because Killshot didn’t even hit him even barely with it. The DDT to finish wasn’t so flashy that it outranked things like a DVD on the apron. Just really, really weird match layout, and that’s saying something for Lucha Underground.

ER: Aerostar/Drago bit was a fun tiny fantasy moment of undying friendship between a dragon and a spaceman, with the music doing a good job to capture the mood. It's tough to film male friendship, but I liked this. It was short and simple and I think they need more tiny character moments like this. With commonplace murders they've gone beyond over the top, and Striker just treats every single match like it's extremely important, so really nothing feels important at all. But friendship? That's something I can get behind.

TL: On my feed that I watched for this episode, the music bled over into the beginning of Melissa’s ring intro for the trios titles match and I figured it was because the producers loved the beat that much. I really don’t blame them. It was like a hip-hop version of those old silent films where you see folks move their mouths and then a screen card comes on with what they said afterwards. Like if you did an old Laurel and Hardy film but with someone producing the ragtime music on Garageband.

Daga/Jeremiah Snake/Kobra Moon vs. Son of Havoc/Killshot/The Mack

ER: Striker is so weird underselling Vibora's decapitation. Minutes ago he was flipping out for a dance aerobics routine and sounding like he'd never witnessed a tornado DDT before, now he says during a ring entrance "Well you may note Vibora is absent, as we just witnessed his decapitation," so he clearly knows about a murder, doesn't care about it, and is also going to continue talking about Worldwide Underground as good guys. The vibe of this whole season has been pretty fucked. But this match was really fun, and cooperative in a good way as any cooperation lead to an immediate crash. We had a ton of dives (loved Havoc hitting a move and then flying past the ringpost with one, it's typically a good idea to lift something from Santito if you can), Mack hitting a big flip dive, Moon getting tossed into a dive (like that trend, make her into a man-propelled wrecking ball), and we got a few nice showcases of Mack and Jeremiah's stiff work. The match starts with a weak Daga strike combo, so it's alarming when Mack comes in and really pounds him with an elbow. Like, oh, yeah, that's what that's supposed to look like. I like how Snake and Mack interact (I keep accidentally typing "Snack", which feels like a name Meltzer might give Callihan if he continues to chub out, and now I want a Halloween episode where Mack dresses like Callihan and calls himself Jeremiah Snack, box of cookies in hand), like how Snake cuts off Mack's turnbuckle handstand with a stiff kick. This whole thing had a real nice flow, and there's no reason the multiman division shouldn't be the strongest in the fed. The title win felt a little underwhelming, even after a good match, and Killshot berating Havoc after the loss will surely lead to another Killshot feud I don't want to see. But overall, this was a fun one.

TL: HA. I also noticed Striker basically no-selling a decapitation based on all the madness-based murders that have happened this season. Didn’t even go with the Owen Voice or anything. Just another line read. “Lucha Underground: We Got Murders!” He also no-sold Mack’s amazing satin jacket. As someone who weighed 300+ pounds a short while ago, seeing Sami start to be a bit heavy makes me take pause given where he was during the Finlay matches. The dives were fun, Mack was the most fun, the wacky tandem offense with Sami and Kobra was fun. Finish was deflating. Killshot unraveling after being so cocky doesn’t do it for me. We’ve already seen brooding Killshot, don’t need more brooding in my pro wrestling. The postmatch Killstomp was probably the best one ever because he just sprung up and did it. No posturing or bullshit or nothing. But yeah, I don’t need to see a super light-hitting feud between these guys.

ER: We get a match ending brawl between Cage and Pentagon that starts fairly lethargic, but gets good when Pentagon brains a member of Metalachi with his own guitar. Striker actually made me chuckle with "Probably the biggest hit they'll ever have!" We do focus a bit too much on a black priest with a bad pun name (Father Rick O'Shea, har har har) making big gasping faces like he's permanently reacting to some Drag Race shade. And I think this might be the debut of a silly arm cracking sound effect when Pentagon snaps his arm. I'm pessimistic about the match next week, but I'll hope for the best.

TL: Cage out here looking like he’s wearing something out of Shane Douglas’ closet circa 1996, and yeah, it starts off slow but really picks up. Not the best LU brawl, but not the worst. I’m more than over Pentagon at this point, and I don’t think it’ll be a bomb-throwing match, which is what it should be, but I just want it to be a car wreck at this point.

TL: How dare Eric no-sell Mack taking the incredibly tacky witches hat off Cueto’s head, putting it on his own head in response to being put in a “Haunted House Match” with Mil Muertes, and saying “Trick or Treat, mother fade to black”. Virtuoso performance by the LU MVP.

COMPLETE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 8: The Ranks of the Reptiles

TL: Vampiro (and Striker) Fashion Update: Alumni of perhaps the worst frat ever, and that covers some ground. I have no idea why they decided an announce team needed letterman jackets, but here we are, with an old corner and an overweight defensive end reliving the glory days.

Daga vs. "The Darewolf" PJ Black

ER: This was one of those matches that got a lot of time, and was instantly forgotten the moment it was over. Both guys are okay but are lifeless. I forget why Daga is one of the lizard people, but what immediately struck me as strange about this match was that Black was clearly working as heel, while Daga was getting the babyface comebacks. This was the case in the Mundo/Vibora match, and I get that Worldwide Underground are heels....but the other team are LIZARD PEOPLE. There has not been a single piece of science fiction literature where trusting a race of lizard people has lead to prosperity. LU keeps making things so much more shades of grey, that we're now rooting for Lizard People over a group of people who are just vaguely dickheadish. I thought a lot of Black's flying looked bad here, a lot of it being rejected AJ Styles offense with distance not figured out. That quebrada DDT rarely looks good, and there was a funny spot where Black goes for a springboard moonsault off the top, Daga moves a few inches, and Black misses him by a couple feet. Daga is like the least memorable "That kind of guy" in wrestling. I've watched a couple dozen Daga matches, and damned if I can remember watching a couple dozen Daga matches. That guy is wallpaper, but wallpaper that does a couple fast rope running spots and some kick combos. The moments I liked best here were when Black was grounded, and just landing decent punches, nice forearms smashes, and eyepokes. That kind of stuff looks good, he does it well, and it's far more interesting than seeing that stupid as hell sunset flip reversal of a top rope rana, or seeing Daga take the most scenic trip possible to roll into a crucifix submission. This kind of thing is one of my least favorite things.

TL: A minute into the match, Black misses his quebrada, but doesn’t really sell it, just stays on his hands and knees waiting for Daga to hit the ropes and dropkick him. And it’s not edited. There’s a lot of smooth cutaways to awkward camera angles to hide some missteps, but even then, it’s not enough to save it. Daga is truly lucha Noam Dar, an elite athlete with good looking offense who has very little clue to put on a cohesive wrestling match. At least Dar is good on Twitter. Everything in this match seemed like a chore. The finish was overly elaborate. The postmatch was…whatever. Striker calls either Morrison or Black Mike Trout. Pretty sure Kobra messed up on her promo. That sure was a 10-minute wrestling segment. I kinda want an oral history of that segment because I guarantee the editing process on that whole thing is probably the toughest job in the history of the show.

And now after the match The WU clears the ring like total babyfaces and then are portrayed in the promos after as the good guys, which, again, makes sense because the other people are an evil LIZARD TRIBE. It's a having cake and eating it situation. A lot of WU work better as heels, and they are heels, and a lot of the lizards aren't good at working heel, so they have naturally worked face against WU...it's just that none of it actually makes sense.

ER: I really wouldn't mind a return of ghost Big Ryck. We really only saw him against smaller flippy guys, and it would be cool to see him take on some of the bigger LU dudes. Only as a ghost, I guess.

TL: Mack apparently has never ridden Pirates of the Caribbean to prepare him for seeing Big Ryck’s skull (with a cigar sticking out of it, no less; where’s the damn crow perched atop it?) Although him saying, “Damn, woman. They need to put a bell on you or something!” when Katrina appeared got a chuckle out of me.

The Rabbit Tribe vs. Killshot/Son of Havoc/The Mack

ER: I really liked the Rabbit Tribe portions of this, but at a certain point it became the Killshot show and it didn't grab me the same. Remember what I've said this season about how they seem to be focusing on the guys I like least? That's definitely a running theme. I guess that theme has always been around in LU - we got an awful lot of triumphant Sexy Star moments - but this season seriously feels like you can take my "least want to see this guy featured" performer in any given match, and that's the guy that's getting gushed about by Striker. There's just too much pout and pomp to make Killshot work for me, and an reliance on strikes that only work with classic LU sound sweetening. Killshot was by far the most featured guy of the champs, though Havoc hit a nice dive down the stretch, Mack hit a big ol' bullfrog splash. London and Saltador looked great though. London is fully reenergized, throwing everything he has explosively, snapping kicks and adding in a headbutt, missing as big as he hits. Saltador is so smooth and always pulls out a new trick, and I loved his fast tope con hilo here. Really this fed just needs to turn into a kick punch fed. That would be more edgy than stacked tower powerbomb spots in 2018.

TL: Vampiro with an all-time out there call in this match, going all “Gangs of New York” references and then talking about how Mala Suerte is a vegan and that’s why he’s moving around so well. Then he tries to rename a Samoan Drop. Then he and Striker plug Modelo. London’s outfit has a sparkly codpiece. How does THAT not come up? Don’t know why we need a Tower of Doom spot in 2018 still. Don’t know why we need Killshot getting featured when Mack is right there. Mala Suerte at least throwing some sweet shots. Saltador with a nice somersault plancha. London, as per usual, bumps around well. Nice Havoc tope. HEAVY as hell Mack splash. Killshot steals the pin and I’m supposed to care, I guess. Sure. Reaaallllly struggling not to just keep pushing the fast forward button.

Cage/King Cuerno vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: I really didn't need to see Pentagon working a 0.8 vintage HHH match. Pentagon would have had to win this thing for him to be working full Haitch, but he is just not a squash match worker who looks credible against these two. Hats off especially to Cage for stumbling around the ring getting into perfect position for everything, taking a lunatic flipping piledriver, taking a slingblade on his neck, catching a flip dive perfectly, and Cuerno was right there with him. I think Cuerno is the only guy I've ever seen manage to drop on his head while taking a backcracker. Pentagon does look back, he just doesn't look as good as either of the two guys he was mostly having no problems handling. My favorite moment of the match might have been Cuerno throwing a nice low knee in the corner while the ref wasn't watching, but damn Cage throwing Pentagon into a Cuerno kneelift would be a great Destruction Crew type finisher that would result in a million dollar jobber payout. There was plenty of cool stuff here on the Cuerno/Cage side of things, but MAN am I not wanting any more steps towards Triple Penta.

TL: Jeeeesus. Pentagon handling Cage like he did was a bit hard to swallow, and now he’s in a damn handicap match with Cuerno? This is truly Kenny Omega IWGP Champ level-stuff here. Just right down our throats without even a tap on the top of the head to prepare us. Penta at least isn’t lazy in this, but he also isn’t enthralling, either. One of my favorite things in wrestling is when makeshift tag teams find a way to throw out some good double team offense, and yeah, that lift into the knee was great stuff. I think if Penta had won this, I would have asked Eric if we could have skipped ahead to the point where he lost the belt, spoilers be damned.

TL: Eric no-selling the ending skit, which is Mundo dressed like Indiana Jones, saying how much he hates snakes, and then going to the Snake Pit to take on the Reptiles, where Taya cuts off the head of the Luchasaurus. This is so unbelievably bad that it’s probably the best skit in LU history, too. For THIS episode to end THIS way is either the world’s biggest heat check or the writing team crossing the last crazy idea they had off their list and tapping out. Guess this is the Year of Murder on Lucha Underground. Man, I miss Pindar.

ER: So what happened, was I sent my draft to Tim but accidentally didn't copy the part where I actually acknowledged a very tall lizard getting beheaded. Go figure, that Vibora has the best couple appearances of his career, and now he's dead. All the babyfaces on this show seem fine with murder at this point, why didn't any of them have these flexible morals when Sexy Star was still around? Also, can someone murder Pentagon? I'm tired of seeing him.


COMPLETE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 7: The Gift That Keeps on Giving

ER: I have not noticed the older mom in pigtails as one of the LU fans. Boy were all of those people behind Striker and Vampiro something. A mom and dad with their two large adult sons? Plenty of large sons in the crowd, but you don't always see their small white parents.

TL: Amazing that a doctor was able to repair Famous B’s leg due to a possible compound fracture in 2018, when things like compound fractures apparently lead to amputation. Really happy modern medicine won out in the end. Also, guaranteed that mom has some stories to tell about going to the Forum in ’77 to watch Roddy Piper cause riots in his feud with Chavo Guerrero. Imagining her asking Vampiro if he knows “La Cucaracha” the entire show and smiling. Nothing better than a middle-aged woman wrestling fan.

Sammy Guevara vs. "The Savage" Jake Strong

ER: Gotta say I'm still surprised by the by crowd reactions from Strong. Although now thinking about it I'd like to see a grappling match with he and Cobb. I know they've wrestled before, and I don't expect the grappling match to happen in LU (since it would be extremely dumb to see Matanza working mat exchanges), but I bet it would be good. This started as another Strong showcase, and it was fine, with big throws and his big running splash. But I liked that Guevara got some hope spots, and that huge moonsault off the balcony. I don't think we've gotten a balcony dive yet this season, which has obviously been a staple of previous seasons. The Temple itself has been so much less of a character this season. I don't really have much of a sense of what we're in the middle of, it was nice having an idea of the internal layout of the last Temple. The Guevara moonsault looked nuts, camera picked up the height great, and I liked Guevara's run. Better than I expected.

TL: Strong has looked pretty damn good in his LU run, surprising me a little bit, to be honest. Him manhandling Guevara to start was really fun to watch. Guevara’s big dive was something else, although from the match layout, having his ankle torqued on like that and then doing a 30-foot moonsault doesn’t really add up. Then he’s walking around on offense and doing a springboard right back into the ankle lock and Strong finishes with an unrealistic pop of the ankle sound effect. Good for Guevara getting a chance to shine, though, and yeah, the moonsault is up there with the Angelico roof dive from the end of Season 1.

Vinny Massaro vs. Matanza

ER: It's great that Vinny is still somehow making TV. It feels like they're really dragging out his eventual murder. Who would have had Mascarita Sagrada getting murdered before Vinny? Matanza chokes Vinny's pizza delivery boy and Vinny stands up for him, hits the snoring elbow (which always lands hard, while having the absolutely slowest spin), but Matanza headbutts him on a follow up. Wrath of the Gods is hit on a big heavy guy, you knew what this would be.

TL: Friend of my Twitter Feed and 2018 Jun Akiyama in Mexico Opponent Vinny Mass out here doing more in two minutes than most folks have done with 20 on this show. Got an honest-to-God Snoring Elbow in and this was exactly what it was supposed to be. “It’s pineapple!”

ER: Vinny followed my twitter feed for about an hour last year. I got the notification that he was following me, checked the link to his page, and saw he was no longer following me. He must have seen old reviews of me talking about lazy Ultimo Panda performances.

The Mack/Son of Havoc/Ivelisse vs. King Cuerno/Dezmond X/Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: In case you haven't forgotten, anything involving Papa Cueto speaking for any length of time is almost automatically the worst thing on any episode. Striker keeps calling Dezmond a rookie for some reason, even though he's been showing up on Impact for a couple years. This was an inoffensive match that ended rather abruptly and never really got into a next gear. Ivelisse looks silly pulling offense on Cuerno, it just doesn't work. Mack gets the bulk of this and looks good, as usual, caps it off with a giant fat guy flip dive. The match was used to set up the following match, and it felt the whole time like it was being used to set up another match.

TL: Is Ivelisse a Muse fan? She must be a Muse fan with that entrance music. Also, Eric, Striker is obviously using the Meltzer Rookie of the Year rules in regard to Desmond. TV’s the only thing that matters, man. I usually look for booking tells with the Cueto nonsense but it’s a bit difficult to see who goes on here and at least there’s intrigue. Mack needs only 45 seconds in the match to outshine everyone else, as per usual. Seriously, strap the damn rocket to his back! Desmond sure looked like a rookie with the most obvious thigh slap in Lucha Underground history, which is covering some ground. AND WE GET A MACK HOT TAG? Yeeeeaaaaaaah, baby! The tornillo was choice. Havoc’s Sasuke Special has this insane velocity to it, too. Truly impressive back-to-back dives. Then Havoc gets caught with the Thrill of the Hunt by Cuerno for the upset. This leads to some awesome Muertes post-match shenanigans. Kinda hard not for me to like this segment when you get to highlight both Mack and Muertes.

ER: Even with Meltzer rules I assume that Pop! is in more houses than El Rey, but as someone who has watched Schitt's Creek through multiple times I imagine I make up an actual percentage of Pop! viewers.

King Cuerno vs. Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Dezmond X

ER: The Gift of the Gods title means nothing to me at this point, so I don't care about the silly ways that we got to Dragon Azteca Jr: Champion. I can't get too excited when Mil Muertes lost his medallion just because, and Azteca wound up on a winning trios team. Azteca has lost more matches than he has won in LU, constantly feels like a guy who backs into every gain he makes. BUT, I came away from this match very, very impressed with Dezmond X. I've liked him before, but this felt like the best performance of his that I've seen. I really liked an Impact match last year against Ishimori, for context of what I thought of his prior work, but this felt like another level. He owned in this match, throwing impressive snap punches (let's be honest, he won me over when he ran in with a nice punch and shook his fist out, swoon), throws cool body shots, offense looked tightened up, and then he hit a gorgeous flip dive off one of the higher points of the temple (awesome catch by the other two as well). Cuerno feels like a major stock falling guy, no matter how much hyperbolic praise is heaped on him by Striker, but his tope still looks killer as hell. One spot I really hated: Cuerno holding Azteca in an Indian Deathlock, and Dezmond leaps at Cuerno looking for a wheelbarrow roll up. What a stupid piece of dance wrestling. Dezmond had just been kicking and punching people the entire match, but now that Cuerno nicely has his leg tied up and is standing prone in the middle? Sure, that's when you leap at him and look for a roll up so he can catch you in a full nelson. It's a dumb looking show piece that ground a nice pace to a half, for an end result that is almost as exciting as a magician guessing your card on the third try. My eyes are definitely open to Dezmond X after this one, hope he gets a decent "replacement Puma" run here.

TL: Three-way matches in LU have actually delivered more often than not, hilariously. Seems really odd to say that given three-ways are designed to not be aesthetically pleasing. This was what you’d expect from these three, where they get cute with the three-way spots and there are dives galore. Once this got going, this was more of your generic cookie-cutter brand of match, which makes me regret my topic sentence of this paragraph. If this was a Mack-centric three-way instead, there would have been way more enjoyment for me. Still, very happy to eat my words on Desmond, who definitely showed more this week than I expected and had the full repertoire on display like Eric said. Also, amazing to think that on the same show where Guevara hit a damn moonsault off the balcony that Desmond doing the flip dive off the top of the entranceway looked just as good, if not better. Ending was a bit too cute, as I didn’t need the backflip off the top leading into the top rope wheelbarrow drop. My biggest issue with three ways in general: Have to do these spots that look cool but either don’t make sense or actively take away from the match. A mixed bag of a match that had its moments. Really difficult for me to see Dragon as anywhere close to Pentagon given how Pentagon’s been booked, but hey, that’s why I’m writing on here and not in a production room in a Los Angeles studio.

TL: I was trying to figure out which 90’s prestige film-based porn producer’s house in the Valley that Marty and Mariposa were staying at during their non-sensical promo. Jackie Treehorn would have had a much nicer place even as he was just starting his career, although he’d be into the glass tabletops. Maybe Jack Horner? If we saw a pool, I could imagine it being a spot Horner would have been able to hunker down in between shoots on the couch in the living room. Were most porn producers in the 70’s named Jack? You know, don’t look it up. I’m going to assume the answer is unequivocally “Yes.”


COMPLETE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 5: Sacrificio

TL: Vampiro Fashion Update: Palm Beach, Florida area retiree who spends every afternoon during the week at a Perkin’s knockoff for happy hour.

Cortez Castro vs. Matanza

ER: Castro's identity as a cop is now common knowledge (though it was amusing to see people in the Temple reacting to Cueto's news with shock). It feels like we've known this for several years now, and now we know that a Cueto knows, and really that should have lead to an in-ring murder. The fact that newly re-monstered Matanza did not murder an undercover cop in the Temple feels a bit like, ahem, a cop out.

TL: So, let me get this straight: Papa Cueto knew he was a cop? And had sources? And didn’t tell his son? Cold-blooded. But hey, it leads to Matanza almost over-rotating on a Wrath of the Gods. Pay windah. Don’t get paid by the hour. If you love something, don’t do it for free. (In this case, the thing Matanza loves is murder) These are all sayings that make sense for this match.

Joey Ryan vs. Ivelisse

ER: Glad we can edit in absurd sound effects for Ivelisse's strikes, but we can't edit out a guy trying to start a "Suck his dick" chant. Eva Lease pulls off the Eva Marie look much better than Eva Marie, looks cool on her. I'm over Joey Ryan's shtick, and I'm pretty over intergender matches, and I'm completely over intergender matches with Joey Ryan. So we get plenty of attention on Ryan's lollipop getting placed in his trunks, we get a zoom in on Ivelisse's during an armbar, we get Joey trying to make Ivelisse touch his dick and later we get Ryan trying to force her to lick his lollipop. Derp derp derp. The wrestling within the match was fine, I like Ivelisse's energy and there were a couple fun lucha spots, but the size difference stuff does make it a little silly. Eh, it was fine.

TL: I’m trying to think of a match I don’t look forward to more than a Joey Ryan intergender match in 2018. I know that amongst the wrestlers of today, he’s very much respected because of the business he was able to bring in while working a super safe style, but it’s also a style that gets old very quickly. Plus, penis druids. Penis druids. An actual line said by Matt Striker in this match: “Ivellise reminding me of Antonio Inoki!” If there’s anything to take away in this match, I liked the suddenness of the finish. That’s all I got.

Killshot vs. Son of Havoc vs. The Mack

ER: Tecnico trios champs forced to fight each other in a triple threat in Lucha Underground? This doesn't sound like anything we've seen before! I warmed to this as the match went on, especially once Mack went on a rampage. Mack really should be at world title level, and really should be in NXT, and really would get over on the main brand. It's only a matter of time. He was awesome here, wiggling his belly while doing a top rope headstand, obliterating Havoc with a pounce (great sideways bump from Havoc too), hits a big dive, awesome high kick on Killshot, really just adds a ton of excitement to a match when he's flying around. Killshot as a character and as a wrestler I don't really get, his stuff looks more awkward than cool to me, and the character is just underbaked. Havoc is a really good guy to have in a match like this, so he's probably an undervalued guy in that sense (since LU loves this type of match). Glad Mack got the win.

TL: I like the stipulation of two medallions up for grabs because it actually puts an emphasis on not getting pinned, which makes the match more aggressive as a whole. It also, hilariously, makes the three-way stuff start to make sense: Nobody wants to be the guy on the wrong side of anything. The only time I enjoyed an opening mirror sequence in LU. You can tell Eric and I think much higher of Mack than LU does, it seems. But hey, gotta make sure Callihan keeps getting chances, I guess. As he normally does, Mack is the highlight of the match, but this time, my cynicism with a splash of optimism is not necessary because Mack actually wins???? Really hope he wins the belt and gets another shot. Loved the ending, too. Weird for me to come out of a three-way thinking it wasn’t anything more than eh, but this wasn’t too bad at all.

Mil Muertes vs. Cage

ER: Looking at the current LU roster and there might not be another match I'd want to see more, and it's kind of nuts that these two have only matched up a couple times. We could have a total hoss feud, if this match and their trios last season (with Crane) are any indication. This felt like their take on a 1999 Attitude era match (though I guess this whole fed is their take on 1999 Attitude era stuff, so...), with ref bumps from multiple refs, man hiding in crowd interference, and garbage spots. The real meat of the match was both guys showing off how hard they could hit the other, showing off strength spots, and showing off flying spots. We get a bunch of cool full force shoulderblocks and lariats that get shrugged off, Cage shows off a nice rana and Muertes shows off right back with a cool headscissors. Cage hits a big flip dive, Muertes is great at flying into walls, and the powerlift suplex from the middle rope is always awesome. All the stuff with guys hitting the ref worked for me, because the refs all took an absolute freaking thrashing. Muertes wrecks a guy with a spear, Cage hits his fullspeed 360 lariat right into the neck of another, Rick Knox takes a Muertes' chokeslam in brutal fashion; googling Rick Knox to make sure I had his name correct, I saw that he had surgery due to a broken collarbone suffered during the tapings...and this had to be it right? For his sake I hope he didn't have to endure anything worse than this. Pentagon was hiding in plain sight in the crowd to jump Cage, which would have looked stupid in most other settings but I liked it here. Wouldn't mind seeing this match like half a dozen more times.

TL: Super weird to think this is the first time in LU they’ve faced off one on one, but I also hope this is more like a Muertes match instead of a Cage match. Then two minutes in and I regret saying that. They’re just full throttle from the get-go and nothing slows down. The way they trade stuff totally works, and when they show off the power stuff against each other, it’s really awe inspiring. Cage’s outside in superplex was effortless here. I like the ref stuff, and poor Rick Knox lands HARD on the awesome Muertes chokeslam. I loved the Pentagon crowd reveal, something that truly came off as surprising and cool. Don’t know if we need to be seeing unprotected chairshots in 2018 but Penta can swing it. Cage spikes himself on the finishing flatliner. This was really fun, top flight Cage match, and for me, right there with the Cage/PCO match from Americanrana earlier this year. Penta doing the Ciampa wave was hilarious, and I don’t know how they do it, but I’m with Eric: More Cage/Muertes, please.

ER: I liked the vibe of the Rabbit Tribe video, and apparently Mascarita Sagrada got back this season just to be bludgeoned to death by Paul London and a big wooden club. Castro is the dude that needed an onscreen murder, it's weird to waste that visual on someone like Sagrada. I'm sure there was a chance that "this wasn't real, the Tribe was on a trip," but it still spoils that visual. And I'm not sure how they want people to view London going forward: LSD-soaked goofball who still dies on bumps? or is he a dangerous PCP-charged murderer who police found eating his roomates lungs out of his chest, screaming? I'm going to need to know. I want to know if there's a chance of him getting booked in a No DQ match and just murdering someone. I don't think we've had that happen on a wrestling program (I have not seen some 80s territory stuff, so don't know for sure).

TL: I still don’t know why Sagrada just stood there and let it happen, but the visual of London’s white suit getting blood splattered all over it is classic grindhouse stuff and just makes Paul look even more crazed than normal. This very much could be a Kevin Sullivan-in-Florida situation, but the in-ring violence has been very much your normal wrestling fare so far in LU outside of some deathmatches. I don’t know if we’re gonna have an Invader 3/Manny Fernandez-type incident on this show, but London’s the guy to do it with.


COMPLETE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 2: Darkness and the Monster

ER: When I told Tim I was done reviewing the 2nd episode of the season I believe his exact words were "Good lord you watched the 2nd episode!?" I never knew when to quit.

TL: Good lord, watching the recap of the season premiere just brought back some terrible memories, and then the video package literally finished with the following Matt Striker quote: “Destruction has torn through this virgin domain.” I don’t even want to know where he got the idea for that line, and I now feel more gross for having watched it. Must’ve blocked it out the first time he said it.

Catrina needs to get her lifeforce back, Cuerno doesn’t give a shit, and I just want to know what local Orange County Republican donor so graciously gave the production team access to his hunting lodge for this incredible piece of acting.

The Mack/Killshot/Son of Havoc vs. Big Bad Steve/Sammy Guevara/Jake Strong

ER: I was pretty surprised to see the big reaction for Jack Swagger. Is that a guy that people are excited to see in 2018? I mean we saw hundreds of Swagger matches. Did anybody think there was some untapped potential, something that we didn't see in those matches that can now be tapped, now that he's untethered by The Man? He certainly doesn't do anything here that makes me ache to see more. We've seen enough standing ankle locks, though Sammy Guevara certainly makes his postmatch falling lariat look fantastic. Mack had a lot of great moments here, bumping big to the floor, hitting a great Pounce as Guevara flew backwards off the top, and throwing several nice strikes at Strong while Strong stood there holding an ankle lock like a doof. Steve Pain is a guy who needs to be in this kind of match way more, instead he kind of hangs back and eats a stunner at the end. You know what kind of great base shit Steve can do, let me see Killshot and Havoc work off that more, not trade flips with Guevara.

TL: I can’t get over how Infamous Inc. gets introduced between Famous B’s bad Stokely impression and Brenda’s terrible screeches, but yeah, I was surprised with Strong’s pop, too. Considering what just happened at All In in regards to the “hip” wrestling fan’s views, just no longer being associated with WWE makes you that much better in their eyes, I guess. It’s also interesting to watch Killshot in this environment now considering he’s presented as a big deal both in MLW and EVOLVE, and especially after he ended Season 3, he’s almost just another guy here, and gets outshined by Guevara pretty heavily. Love that Big Bad Steve was here specifically to take the fall, like he was the guy under the Yellow Dog hood or something. Like most matches in LU, lot of guys not used correctly while one guy gets the shine. This was used as a vehicle to get Strong over, but he didn’t do much in a way that makes me want to see more of him.

Drago vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: This was fine, and was more than I'd enjoyed Drago in awhile. I thought a lot of his kicks looked good, liked his fast roll-up, took a big suplex bump off the bottom buckle, hit a slingblade that actually made it look like a move that would hurt someone (although it's odd he's still doing it in a fed where Pentagon is champ). Now, some of that MAY have been Azteca having no problem being flung onto the back of his head, but it looked good is what I'm getting at. Azteca is a guy who seems to relish getting dropped on his head, and he's often busy in matches, always thinking, always there with a spit take to sell a strike...and it's good, but I wonder if it wouldn't come off better if he were less busy? I think he needs to let things sink in a little, breathe a bit.

TL: Ah yes, the ol’ lucha mirror sequence standoff. Surprised it took this long in the season to get our first one, honestly. After that, I actually liked this more than I thought I would. One thing I hate about those mirror sequences is that they’re always just for show, but then the two big sequences after this were just as quick, but led to one guy getting the advantage instead of something more than an exhibition. I’m a huge fan of rollups off the top as finishers; thought it was awesome when Sin Cara would do it during his Lucha Dragons days. Agree that Azteca is better playing from underneath than 50/50, as his time across from Matanza was his best stuff. Guess the postmatch is to set up Kobra/Taya, which is a shrug emoji for me, but at least we got a good foul from Johnny on Drago.

ER: Catrina had a so-so wig in season 3, so I guess I shouldn't be too shocked by how outright bad Cueto's wig is, but....for all the money they spend on other things, you'd thing they'd have a respectable wig budget. A good wig is expensive, and it feels like something that an executive saw and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. "I'm fine shelling out money for Godfrey, but you expect us to pay HOW much to give this woman bangs?"

TL: I think the Cueto facial hair trips me out more than the Doc Brown wig, and I do love that he has that one weird eye. Wardrobe for this show is just so weird, which I guess is part of the appeal, but yeah, there were definitely some choices made in this vignette.

Pentagon Dark vs. Matanza

ER: This wasn't bad, but we got a comical overuse of the gunshot thigh slap effect on the majority of Pentagon's strikes, which really does a lot of them a disservice. If they were a bit more selective then they would mean more. Matanza really busted ass to make Pentagon look like a big deal. It's weird seeing Matanza work from behind most of the match considering he entered the fed as Zeus, but it was great seeing him fly hard into a bunch of chairs around ringside. I liked the gunshot sound effect when Pentagon chopped the ringpost, and liked the ping of Matanza's mask hitting the ringpost. Matanza's throws all looked predictably good, but Pentagon is so damn uninteresting the way he takes them and then just opts to go back on offense. The end run was good and a believable way to put down a monster, with a series of flipping piledrivers and a package piledriver, but Pentagon just isn't interesting to me at this point. Maybe saying Cero Miedo another dozen times per match will help? Real fine Matanza performance here, propping up a guy who seems a bit too preoccupied with being cool, instead of just being good.

TL: It’s really weird to see Matanza go from this unstoppable monster to just a dude with a weird mask and some great power offense, but I guess you can’t book a guy like that forever. Penta just outworked Kenny F’n Omega at All In, showing up the supposed Workrate King on his own damn produce show in his own house style, and there are WWE rumblings with him, so after a stinker of an Aztec Warfare, I’m stoked that he brought it here against Matanza. A lot of that is because you basically have to if you want to make it look like you took down Matanza in any believable way, but this was still another match that exceeded my expectations, and it was necessary to push Penta as The Guy in the promotion. I do agree this was more about Looking Cool than Beating Matanza, but it’s better than the alternative that we’ve seen from Penta time and time again.

TL: Jeremiah Crane being a horn dog for Catrina is a bit too on the nose for me but he got his ass righteously whooped in the last Grave Consequences match he was a part of so I’m ready for that, at least.


COMPLETE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND

Read more!

Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 1: El Jefe

ER: Yeah yeah, we're back. We're late because of me, but we're back. I am still doing this spoiler free, which is seeming like an exponentially stupid thing to do considering I've liked each season less than the one that preceded it. I'm hoping for a nice return to form this season. Saying that, I don't actually know who is still involved with the fed, which is part of the fun/horror of going into this thing blind.

TL: Hilariously, if we didn't avoid spoilers, we might cherry pick through things instead on here. There's a lot of horror in this one, though. A LOT of horror.

ER: I immediately regret falling behind at the very beginning of the season, since we get introduced to Papa Antonio Cueto, which I imagine caused quite the varied reactions. I both love it for its ridiculousness, and hate it for its everything else. This is clearly a show with some money behind it, surely we have some extra dough in the coffers for a better wig? Cueto's wig was a 0.8 on the Amanda Bynes Courtroom Appearance scale. The beardwork was okay. The voicework was sub-Christian Bale Batman growl voice. The framed photo was as good as any funeral portrait you've seen, but they lose major points for not having a Temple flower arrangement. Okay this was fucking awful.

TL: So, we get the saga of Dario, the feds, and the power glove, complete with Lorenzo Lamas’ removed eyeball and some dude in a Puma mask who may or may not look like someone who has a big match coming up at NXT: Takeover Brooklyn 4. But THEN we get Dario not only dying, but his father coming to his sparsely attended funeral.

AND IT’S THE SAME GUY THAT PLAYED DARIO WHO IS PLAYING HIS FATHER.

Imagine after the aborted Vince car bomb angle that got shelved because He Who Shall Not Be Named did That Which Shall Not Be Described, you get Vince coming back as the ghost of Vince Sr. haunting Raw on a regular basis. It would have been way better than the Twitter bot that played the Raw GM for months upon months. I understand LU is a pulp show on a pulp network and there is some goofiness going on, but this goes beyond the pale on the goofiness scale. Of course, Antonio berates his son, knocks down his memorial portrait in the ring because he finally has control of HIS promotion, and then announces Aztec Warfare for the LU title. That is definitely a way to start off the new season of this show.


Aztec Warfare 4!

ER: Okay, THIS was fucking awful. What a terrible, sluggish, boring, uninteresting match to start your 4th season off with a fart sound. This whole mess was designed to show the dominance of Pentagon, and for a lazy dude he turned in one of his absolutely laziest performances I've seen. Maybe because it was so long and one-note? It was bad. It started with him and Tommy Dreamer having a super slow mo kendo stick battle, and continued with him hitting his finisher on approximately 10 guys. The new entrants appear to be coming in every 30 seconds, and there's an elimination every 30-60 seconds. New guys come in, new guys take one move, new guys leave. It was fucking awful. Even Matt Striker wasn't trying, and brother they don't come more try hard than Matt Striker. In arguably the least inspired moment of a match filled with uninspired moments, Vinny Massaro comes out, gets a pepperoni pizza delivery, starts to eat a slice and in the flattest tone I've ever heard from him Striker weakly says "PizzaGate". That's it. That's the joke. The joke is that there is no joke. There's a reference, but no attempt at a joke. And the reference is already nearly 2 years past expiration. When Pentagon hooked Massaro's leg on the pin I expected him to flatly sputter out a Sandy Hook reference, but no. I rooted pretty hard for Chavo, just because he was infinitely more interesting in this match than Pentagon, and the crowd clearly hates him because he's...well, no LU fans were ever able to give any actual reason why they disliked Chavo. Striker points out how hot Catrina looks, and normally the golf with eyes bugging out and a tongue on the floor reaction from Striker is the lamest, but in an aggressively shitty match like this Catrina's hotness really was a genuine highlight. Fenix was easily the most interesting of the wrestlers involved, and it really wouldn't have taken much effort from him to earn that title. Awful, awful, boring, lazy match.

TL: I actually wrote out a play by play for this because I'm absolutely crazy and also thorough when it comes to pro wrestling things I feel like I have to watch. Good lord almighty was this a slog to get through. I mean absolutely terrible in most ways. The idea behind it was to absolutely make Pentagon The Guy in the promotion, but instead, it's like a Cliff's Notes version of the folks you might see on this program week to week, and it really doesn't do a good job of selling that here. Pentagon is in at 6, and it doesn't get actually entertaining until Fenix is in at 13, where he outshines his brother in like 1/25 the time. The biggest issue I had with this is that all the guys you'd be excited to see, especially someone like Muertes, are in the match for all of like...2 minutes? I mean, Chavo gets a producer's run? Marty gets a shot to try and score an upset on Pentagon as the final guy in the match? Especially after Marty lost to Fenix in the way he did last season? This isn't even a reset. It's like taking the neuralizer from Men In Black. And after this I need it. There isn't a single thing coming out of this that makes me excited for what's to come, and that's a terrible omen for a show that already blows so hot and cold.

ER: And we get more from Papa Cueto, which was a character that just could not have sounded good at any step of the writing process. I'm not as imaginative as I perhaps once was, but I cannot actually imagine a worse way to start a new season of LU. This honestly has to be the worst episode in the history of the series.

TL: Can we get Lorenzo Lamas back up in this thing again please? More Godfrey? Papa Cueto has worn out his welcome and it's only been one show. I started reviewing these with a Sexy Star match. This whole show was worse than that feeling.


COMPLETE GUIDE TO LUCHA UNDERGROUND

Read more!