Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 20: Seven to Survive

ER: So we came out the other side of the arguable worst episode of the season. We knew there would be roadblocks on the trip to Valhalla. It's just like Lucha Underground to try and make us quit when we're this close, but I'm not falling for it. We're finishing these last 3 episodes. Throw your worst at me!

TL: God, who is Immortan Joe in the realm of LU? I guess it's Matanza? Sammy Guevara actually kinda reminds me of Nux. Jake Strong is a perfect Rictus Erectus. It should be noted that while I do share Eric's feelings of wanting to close this one out, we are only returning to this on the day of a full-on statewide shelter in place due to Big Rona. Yes, the only thing truly driving us back to wanting to watch this show is semi-forced quarantine from a highly contagious pathogen. And the only cure is...wait, a SHOW-LONG SEVEN-WAY MATCH???

King Cuerno vs. Big Bad Steve vs. Hernandez vs. Aerostar vs. PJ Black vs. Jake Strong vs. Dante Fox

ER: And well, this might not have been the worst they could have thrown at me, but it was a show long match prominently featuring a couple guys I wish weren't prominently featured, and I don't think it had the meat to flesh out a show long match. The indisputable best part of the match was Big Bad Steve getting his longest opportunity yet to be Big Bad Steve, although PJ Black becoming a guy who just kicks everyone in the balls was a close second place. Has that been something Black has been doing? I sure don't remember it. Black goes on a run of kicking three guys straight in the balls, which is a smart strategy. PJ must have had some insider scoop to know that those guys had weak balls. Big Bad Steve is not only the best striker in the match, and the best fighter in the match (at one point he starts braining people with a monkeywrench, especially cracking Cuerno), and sadly he shows that he can sell a ball shot better than anyone. He takes a ball kick from PJ Black with as much force as I've ever seen anyone take a ball kick, really came off worthy of finishing a match.

But there was a ton of Jake Strong breaking ankles with his ankle lock, and they debuted one of the stupidest features yet, in the fed's history: Bone Crunching Action! We've sat through a dozen Pentagon arm breaks, never got splintering bone sound effect. But we're here now. Jake Strong's ankle lock has bone crunching action. He crunches Black's ankle, tries to crunch Aerostar's ankle but he is saved, just an ankle crunching machine. Hernandez does silly baby stuff to get eliminated well before anyone else, Fox hits a big springboard inverted 450 onto half a dozen guys who don't catch him, Aerostar hits a dive off a cherry picker that took an eternity to set up, and really the brawl through the crowd might have been the most engaging actual stretch of the match. But there were too few engaging stretches for a match that went the full show, and for what? Does this mean we get a title match of Marty the Moth vs. Jake Strong?? THAT'S what we built to? Who is the babyface in that scenario?

TL: Oh, the best part is that Striker doesn't even hide that it's gonna take the whole show. That seems more like a threat than anything else, because now I have to lock in for probably 45 minutes of a match where I like roughly 2 1/2 guys. And one of those guys is Big Bad Steve, so the other 1 1/2 can be spread out amongst the other six at some point. I don't get how Hernandez is out after like three minutes when you have 40 minutes to fill, but his elimination seemed like a booking decision that was like, "Let's just get this down to even numbers." PJ being all about the nut shots was admittedly amusing; the springboard into the nut shot was inspired shit. The WWECW reunion happens for all of 90 seconds before the campy sound effect ankle breaking sends PJ to ROH. I really can't get a handle on this match in the first 10 minutes. Like they're not sure when to just let it get wild and go hard, and then we get to the King Cuerno bodysuit strip knife-edge chop section and I long for the PJ Black nutshot brigade. The psychology of Aerostar using a forklift to leap onto Big Bad Steve (and Cuerno) is a great piece of business, even if it took too long to set up. At least you get Drago in the construction worker getup (complete with cutouts for the dragon horns). I like bodyslam variants, so Strong's delay and then side throwing slam got a nice reaction from me. Watching Strong base for Aerostar when Big Bad Steve was in the match earlier sure was a choice. 

I'm not completely checked out, but it's so obviously Strong winning this thing. They haven't done enough for me to think there's anything that could be done to stop it. Like, how in the world does Cuerno stand on the outside for two minutes while Fox and Strong lay on the mat? What is that? I almost feel like I should just turn this off. This seems like a pretty damn checked out layout for the last three spots. The ankle lock, the most dangerous sub in the fed, gets shaken off by weak limping from both Fox and Cuerno for big spots. Sure. Big dive off the roof of the entranceway from Fox to land on his ass. He hits a 450, and Strong pulls him off for the pin for some reason. Even Vampiro can't believe it. VAMPIRO. More military references for Fox being tortured while in a submission. Wait, there are ROPE BREAKS? This match is drunk. I don't think this match is worse than last week's show, but it's just 40 minutes of nothing leading to inevitability. But first a stupid three-way knockout spot. I've lost my patience with this match. It shouldn't be like this. They're still going! We finally get to Fox and Strong, Striker reminds us that this is Lucha Under-ground, and then Fox lasts a minute in the ankle lock before tapping. "This is bullshit!", the crowd chants. Yes, it is, but we are also now two episodes away. Ultima Lucha Cuatro awaits us. We're definitely playing out the string. Here's to playing the full schedule.


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Lucha Underground Season 4 Episode 19: Savagery

TL: Gonna do a little something different while reviewing this: Watching the whole episode while my overly loud dishwasher is running in the background. When you live in a 450 sq. ft. granny unit, sometimes things like this are unavoidable, but also, I much prefer the constant whirr of the dishwasher to at least 95% of the dialogue on this show. And my point is immediately made by the opening segment featuring Cueto and Strong. Another time where AEW not letting Jake talk is a good thing; then again, seeing a known racist have to react positively to a perceived ancient piece of Mexican history is high comedy, as is his idea of manifest destiny with saying the phrase, "This isn't your temple. It's mine!" as he leaves. What a segment. Dishwasher, don't fail me now.


Aerostar vs. PJ Black vs. Hernandez vs. Big Bad Steve vs. King Cuerno vs. Jake Strong vs. Dante Fox

ER: Oh damn we get a battle royal in LU, AND the long overdue return of Big Bad Steve!? Okay Big Bad Steve got eliminated as I was typing that first sentence and I hate this now. This was a pretty bad battle royal. It goes only a few minutes, Steve and Hernandez get eliminated super early the exact same way, people keep showboating on the apron, Dante Fox returns after a year and gets a couple of slippery escapes, whatever. The show is named after Jake Strong, he mush mouthed his way through the opening video with Cueto, we knew who was winning, but that doesn't mean they had to go out and do a battle royal that took as much time as the entrances. Lame.

TL: BIG BAD STEVE BACK IN THE GODDAMN BUILDING. And I'm happy to see Dante back, too, as him going balls to the damn wall with Killshot was worth a return. It's a battle royal, which should make Eric happy. (Arrested Development Narrator: "It didn't.") He likes to do a yearly get together where we blind pick battle royals based on the participants. The last one we did, he chose the Slamboree '98 Cruiserweight Battle Royal to start and I ran away with the entire evening on points, blowing away the field. Can't believe he has me back for it, to be honest. In less than a minute, Big Bad Steve gets to show off why he's a goddamn base god for Aerostar and then throws a fantastic right hand only to get eliminated first. About right. This is obviously a vehicle to get Strong right into the main event. Sad that it has to come at the expense of guys like Fox, who showed out to such an amazing extent that him getting treated like an afterthought here is incredibly puzzling and incredibly sad. And then they make the battle royal pointless by just having a 7-way match for the belt next week. And it sets up a Mundo match later that night? Okay. I know I'm just getting over food poisoning but I still don't get what just happened. On the bright side, guaranteed more Big Bad Steve, baby!!! Dishwasher update: A low rumble, but still loud enough to drown out Striker. A good start.

Killshot vs. The Mack

ER: This was more angle than match, using a first time pairing that could have potentially been interesting, to instead set up an uninspiring Mil Muertes run in. The spear Muertes hits on Mack is arguably the weakest I've seen from him. The match didn't really have time to go anywhere interesting.

TL: This had a couple neat things going for it and then they ended it for the angle, which in itself seemed pointless, especially given how well Mack came off in browbeating Muertes before. This was very much in the vein of those old Attitude-era TV segments where a 2-3 minute match gets thrown away for an angle that didn't need to be expanded upon. Dishwasher update: A couple of louder whirrs every now and then, really digging in deep to get that good clean.

ER: I've gotten so into Sammy Guevara crushing it while playing the lowest man on the totem pole in The Inner Circle that it's now weird to see him as the plucky babyface joining XO and Ivelisse. The trios match should still be good.

TL: The Sammy reveal was fun as he's been one of the only people I've enjoyed since AEW has started up, but holy crap, the inside jokes about Famous B's 7-year contract for an LU talent write themselves. That's the only thing I enjoyed about this. This whole show has been just nothing but promos, really. Dishwasher update: Cleaner than Famous B after that trash can shot.

Jake Strong vs. Johnny Mundo

ER: This is that kind of 2011 pro wrestling vibe that I have absolutely no interest in revisiting, baby! There were some things I liked here, big individual moments, but I don't think it added up to a very good match. Mundo takes some big bumps, including this awful moment where he hit a kick from the apron and managed to fall on the buckles, apron, ring steps, and floor, winding up with his legs over his head. But seconds later he was totally fine. Mundo is such an athletic bumper that he often winds up making bumps absolutely meaningless in a Petey Williams kind of way. And this was certainly a match where no move mattered. Both guys took control at will, no matter what they had just taken. Strong took over after taking a sitout powerbomb on the floor, Mundo took back over after taking a big lariat to the back of the head, both guys just kept popping up whenever necessary. And by the time we get to ankle lock reversals I am praying for death's sweet release. Matanza runs out at the end, there's an obvious blood packet to really plant the flag in this shit sundae, and I am happy it's over.

TL: Johnny just got to walk out in front of 40k+ and work a minute in the Rumble for a big payday and you have to be happy for him to be able to go from a promotion on its last legs (and the husk of Impact!) to being an upper-midcarder for the world's biggest promotion at the drop of a hat. I kept waiting for something to jump out in this match given they know each other pretty well but nothing really made an impact for me outside of Johnny's nuts bumps to the outside. And then they start brawling into the crowd and the sweet, slow, rhythmic churn of my dishwasher soothes me as Morrison decides to turn a wrestling match into a literal parkour demonstration. There was no rhyme or reason to this match. A guy like Strong who has been put over like a world-beater didn't get to look like one here; 50/50 booking is such shit. If a guy is a world-beater, make him one. Have him show a weakness every now and then, but now he's just trading spots with a guy who, while presented as a top guy, is working this like any other match. Just mind boggling to me. It's amazing to me that I'm about to type this but here it is: The Nunchucks Match from earlier this season blows this match out of the water. Strong leaned into everything Mundo threw, so there's that, I guess. This is very much in the Adam Cole/Michael Elgin ROH Title mold and folks, that match style ain't it. It's wild they worked a 15 minute match that led to that ending considering how Strong has been booked but hey, what do I know? Matanza comes out, busts Johnny open, takes Taya on a tour of (Jake Strong's) temple, and then wails away on Mundo as if he was Ralphie finally giving Scott Farkus what for. And as the dishwasher starts to drain out the dirty water for the rinse cycle and steam starts to form, the sweet release of this show finally happens. 45 minutes of my life gone, never to be gotten back, but transcribed in all its hellish nature for you, the reader of this website.


ER: They went from the best episode of the season, to (I think) pretty easily the worst. The wrestling was not good, the angles were not interesting, and this whole thing felt like the ultimate wheel spinner of an episode. This was not the go home show to Ultima Lucha, but it made me much less interested in Ultima Lucha.

TL: Three. More. Episodes.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 39 Ultima Lucha Tres Part 3

1. Last Luchadora Standing: Taya vs. Sexy Star

ER: So this worked better than it should have, and was probably Sexy Star's best actual performance. I think I've said in several other matches something along the lines of "This was probably the best possible match that _____ could have had with Sexy Star", and while I can't say she was actually good in it, for the most part, this felt like her best actual performance. All Sexy Star matches will always have that feeling of minding a toddler while he waddles around a playground: You're omnipresent and next to them at all times, but they don't really take your suggestions on what to do, and sometimes they'll stare at things overly long, and then they'll point and shout something unintelligible at something, and then they'll need help climbing steps, and they'll grab things that don't belong to them, and you don't really feel like you're needed there but need to be there constantly trying to catch them if they fall. Sexy Star kind of toddles around the Temple, and Taya follows her around, throwing herself through chairs and into grating and into tables and bleeding. For her part of things, Star slaps Taya with authority, lands a couple stomach kicks, and throws shots to the back of Taya's neck that actually look painful. They fall into a lot of things, chairs, the bleacher seats, a table, and it almost always looks good. I don't want to see Sexy Star wrestling anymore, but I appreciated that she tightened a couple things up in what should be her last LU match (unless season 4 is already planning on being the Season of Sexy!).

TL: Take a drink every time Striker says “war.” Seriously, it’s amazing. I remember saying it maybe a time or two too many during a recent PPW main event, but he’s in love with the word. Taya got one of my favorite Jeremiah Crane performances out of him in the Cueto Cup and so I am all in on her actually making a Sexy Star match good with her bumping and stooging. Taya even blades, which I am not surprised at in the least. God, hindsight is amazing here with Striker saying Sexy fights for what’s just and ethical. My favorite part about Eric’s toddler analogy is when I look up and see Sexy literally crawling around the ring as if she can’t find her favorite pacifier. They really do lay it in, at least, with the chops looking good even if the sound effects oversell their effectiveness. Sexy does lead Taya around by the nose everywhere; it’s amazing how much Taya is chasing her in this match. The garbage spots do look good, even if there’s a few times where things got telegraphed, but Taya really had a great performance here again. Now make sure there’s no more Sexy Star in Season 4. After the bullshit she pulled last year, she doesn’t deserve to be back, let alone get a push similar to what she got in Season 3.

2. Pindar/Vibora/Drago vs. The Mack/Killshot/Dante Fox

ER: I like this, very edgy subversive stuff here, an impressive Black Lives Matter allegory having every black member of the roster trying to save their America by waging global war against the Deep State Lizard People. It's some pretty revolutionary stuff here on hour 3 of Ultima Lucha Tres. And you know what? I really liked this as a title win for Mack/Killshot/Fox. The Lizard People have been really disappointing as champions, feels like they shouldn't need belts. But Mack's team winning felt like a great tecnico moment, and there aren't a ton of great tecnico moments in this fed that aren't immediately made bittersweet. I don't really know if the match was good, but it felt like a couple doors shutting that had been open for way too long. The Lizards haven't felt as big as they probably anticipated, so it's a good time to dial them back a bit, and the Fox/Killshot feud went on too long and I'd rather see their style as a team than as opponents. Mack came off - again - like a major star in the match, and they really messed up by not shoving him high up the card way quicker. It may get there eventually, but Mack is a guy they could make face of the company, and should. Although I can't believe that the cameras switched away and miss most of Vibora's bump off the Pounce. I don't think I've ever even seen Luchasaurus take a bump, so Mack making him fly off his feet feels like it should have been a big deal. Striker takes forever wrapping up a bootlace-as-secret-code story to just say that Fox and Killshot are working nicely together. I also really liked Pindar in this, he's been a great add to the roster, and I'd love for him to be repackaged. He is an awesome base, gets to show a little bit of personal lizard pride by refusing Kobra Moon's demand that he use a chain, and he's one of the few guys to opt to do a moonsault to sell a Stunner. Has anyone done a moonsault stunner bump? Rock would infamously handspring his way across the ring, but I don't know if I've seen a moonsault bump from it. Dante Fox's back still looks completely disgusting (his death match was filmed the day before!), and him doing a major flip dive over the buckles and just skidding on his back was gruesome. There was flayed skin hanging off. The match was okay, decent energy, but the actual moments and implications were the best.

TL: It wouldn’t be a professional wrestling match if all the available black guys in the fed didn’t wrestle in the same match together. Legit surprised Famous B didn’t come out with them. I’m all about the first few minutes of this match, where Fox and Killshot try their usual stuff but their injuries catch up and it becomes what I wanted most in this match: A Pindar showcase! He has a great little run here during the Lizard control segment, and then when Mack gets the hot tag and the tecnicos figure it out, it gets good. That shot of Fox’s back was absolutely disgusting. Pindar taking the fall was bleh because he looked the best in the match on the Lizard side, but he also made the finishing run look good. And yeah, it’s nice to see tecnicos do something cool without consequence. This was definitely a match where the moments were more important than the sum of its parts, but there was a good layout and everyone was used well. Surprised Drago didn’t get much of a showcase here. Fox is an insane person for going out there and doing his usual stuff with his back like that basically 24 hours after that match. Killshot was at least smart enough to take flip bumps onto his stomach most of the time.

3. Ladder Match: Son of Havoc vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: This isn't very good, and has some absolutely brutal prop set up. The only interesting moment of prop set up is when Pentagon starts throwing a bunch of ladders into the ring and Striker brings up the Public Enemy match. Vampiro compares this moment to when he was in FMW with Terry Funk, and I genuinely don't think that Funk and Vampiro were ever around each other before WCW. I don't think Vampiro ever wrestled in FMW, and I don't think Funk ever wrestled in WAR, really don't think they would have ever been on tour with a company together, before WCW. But then again he has already stated that he got to see Misawa/Kawada matches while on tour with All Japan and...that never happened. The match reaches peak crazy when Pentagon delivers a package piledriver through opened chairs. It didn't lead to a finish. Pentagon proceeds to slowly set up several ladders, and it's completely interminable because the whole time you knew it wasn't going to lead to anything nearly as cool as Crazy Crusher vs. Hell Storm. And for a guy who is I guess spreading the devil's message of violence, Pentagon never actually feels very comfortable setting up all these ladders and tables. It leads to this silly moment where there is a ladder resting on the middle rope and within the rungs of an opened ladder, and he and Havoc are brawling slowly on it because it's rickety and they don't want to fall...but it's like 2 1/2 feet off the mat. This is no Bill Dundee hanging off a scaffold, this is more a red panda hanging off a low branch, and he's trying to recover, but he's just got his panda strength to work with, and eventually he falls...but it's like a 1 foot drop. This didn't work for me.

TL: Dark is gonna have to show me something here because after so much time giving him the benefit of the doubt and saying he’d bring it in a big match, this is the type of situation where he needs to show up. Vampiro bringing up tours of Japan he never went on goes into the JBL Honorary Hall of Fame right alongside “Riki Tenryu” and his drugged showdown with an inflated dinosaur he calls Godzilla during a WWE tour of Japan. Also, not a single ladder hit Havoc when Dark threw them in there, so that wasn’t even close to the Funk ECW chair stuff. Striker also makes an Art Vandelay joke. With as much as I’m talking about commentary, it should tell you what I think of this match. It’s literally setup spot after setup spot. Something happens, weak transition spot (they tried the Randy Orton/Evan Bourne RKO spot and it didn’t look good at all), guy sets something up. Rinse and repeat. Dark literally wrestles as if he’s not getting paid enough for this shit, and since I’m not getting paid at all for it, I’ll care just as much. For a match between two ultraviolent characters where one of them came up as a real-life backyarder, this was as anti-violent and plodding as anything you’d see on this show, but set up much like you'd imagine a backyard ladder match would be. You saw how the first night ended. You saw how the second night ended. I understand if the feeling was that they couldn’t top any of that, but at least go out and try. It’s the blowoff show. Literally no reason to hold anything back here. This was a hastily put together match but could have been much better than it had any right to be. As far as Dark is concerned, I’m out on him.

TL: Man alive, are they telegraphing what’s gonna happen to Puma here. I mean, if you read this site, pretty sure you are up to speed on current pro wrestling news, so it’s no secret what’s going to happen to Puma. If I was watching this when it aired not knowing what was going to happen, it wouldn’t have made me change my mind on Vampiro obviously looking to screw over Puma. It’s another part of this that I had watched previously in highlight form so I’m foggy on specifics, but we’ll see if my feelings change watching the finale.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 37: Ultima Lucha Tres Part 1

ER: Striker: *Makes a bunch of jokes and goofy statements, switches to Owen voice* "Folks, all joking aside, war is hell."

TL: He also did the squinty eyes, because he was concentrating really hard on being serious. That’s how you know it’s real.

Texano vs. Famous B/Dr. Wagner Jr.

ER: The usage of Wagner in LU has been so weird. He's never been treated like a big deal even though he's easily a bigger star than anybody in the fed other than Mysterio. And he's brought back here as a surprise partner after last being seen 9 months prior. Anyway, this match was shaping up to be surprisingly killer. B takes a ridiculous hip toss from practically halfway up the Temple steps, just a huge bump and they couldn't have filmed it better. Texano looked more motivated than in maybe any other LU match he's been in, really connecting on his enziguiri, dropping Wagner with a huge powerbomb, really looking fired up. But things end super prematurely with some Brenda interference, leading a doofus like Texano to be distracted and rolled up. Also of note, Vampiro said Brenda was giving him a migaine, and Striker let him know "there are pills for that". Vampiro probably doesn't need the rundown on taking pills.

TL: Have this feeling Wagner only got the call here because his booking fee was too expensive otherwise. Also, this is before he lost the mask and turned into The Most Interesting Wrestler in The World, but it’s also really weird that he is a tecnico being brought in as a rudo’s mercenary. Famous B knows how to bump; PWG highlight videos have shown me that, at least. Imagine being Texano and having the career he had and was the supposed future of AAA when LU started and then be told going into Season 3, “You’re gonna take a shit pinfall against a manager on the opener of our WrestleMania.” Incredible. Wagner being brought in for this? Hilarious.

Hell of War: Killshot vs. Dante Fox

ER: The match is a 3 part stip, with First Blood being the first stip, No DQ as the second, and third is a stretcher match. It's a big batch of match stips, although I don't like First Blood or stretcher matches, as the best brawls just get way better once blood is involved. This match could get around that as there are still two parts of the match after the bleeding starts, but First Blood is usually lame. The psychology is all over the map as you would think guys would just be scratching and clawing and throwing punches to try and get blood, but most of the time that doesn't happen. I'd like to see a bunch of knuckle punches thrown at eye sockets, but we get a fun spotfest instead. Fox hits his ringpost moonsault onto Killshot (who was on a ladder), we get a fun hot potato section with a chair thrown back and forth and caught/dodged, Fox hits one of the crazier spots in LU history when he leaps from the second level of crowd with a legdrop to the apron while Killshot was sandwiched between chairs. So things are pretty wild even though most of the things done would not ever draw blood. Fox brings out a glass panel and they fight around that for awhile before Killshot goes through it off the top rope, cutting open his back, arms, hands, etc. Pretty grisly stuff. The No DQ portion has some more wild stuff, all the glass still in the ring so both guys keep getting cut up with each bump. Fox hits a nasty 450 onto Killshot (on a ladder) and Fox later gets planted with a DDT off the top. I still have no idea what Killshot's finisher off the top is supposed to be, he just jumps off the top and lands with his feet next to Fox. Is it a bad Bombs Away that doesn't connect? Is it a stomp to the face that doesn't come close to the face? I genuinely don't know what it's supposed to be. I've never seen it hit his opponent, whatever it is. Fox kicks out at 1, which seems appropriate for a move that doesn't make contact.

We get a barbed wire board and Fox eats a powerbomb into it, and a Storm Cradle Driver into the glass. This is getting pretty crazy. Striker hasn't been nearly as wretched as he was during their first match, but in the third fall we get a "in the vein of John McCain" which...I guess Striker just can't help being fucking awful. It's his natural form. Fox eats a death valley driver off the top onto the stretcher, and a double stomp off the top of the crowd also through the stretcher. They brawl to the band stage and Fox gets hit with a bottle, falling off through a giant sheet of glass (apparently just set up there by Dario to be an ass). Well, these two sure went out of their way to have an insane match, pretty huge start to Ultima Lucha. If this is (basically) the first match of a show, I have no idea what the other matches are going to do to live up to this. We had several moves off the top to the floor, several bumps into and through glass, bumps into barbed wire. I would already be exhausted if I had been there live (though they likely filmed these in a different order). Crazy start to Ultima Lucha.

TL: This is one of two matches from this show that I had seen previous, with the other being the main event. I’ll say this: The story didn’t really add too much to get here, as this seemed like a program where the gimmick and the end of the road dictated everything else. Seeing it in a vacuum isn’t all that different from seeing it with everything leading up to it.

First fall with First Blood is worked oddly like Eric mentioned because they don’t go for the blood right away. Hell, they sexy dance fight for a bit to start it out! Once Fox gets his moonsault spot out of the way, things finally fall into place with the stipulation a little bit with the chair stuff. And then they both work apron spots. And THEN they do a double springboard into a Spanish Fly. Like…what is the idea behind this match? Why even make it a First Blood fall? Killshot is a CZW regular, and I’ve seen him do a dive off the top of the Cage of Death through some absolute bullshit, but that glass spot was just nasty looking due to the setting. The glass pieces sticking in his back on close-up is nasty as all hell. I don’t understand why we got the 10 minutes of wrestling we did before we got to that, but that’s a damn good way to get first blood, at least.

The second fall sees them up the crazy, and it was here where I realized that both of these guys are absolutely insane. Eric hit all the details on the specific spots, but I’m just gonna say that when I first saw this match, I remember seeing this fall and being absolutely floored that these two were having THIS match. And that there was an entire third fall waiting. Watching it a second time, this is going to sound insane, but the Dante Fox kickout at 1 after the Killstomp worked better here than almost any match where I’ve seen that spot in years. Considering what the hell is going on in this match, if you aren’t amped up on all the adrenaline your body can process, that’s how someone kicks out at 1. (Although Eric equating Killshot’s finish with that wussy-ass mushroom stomp from Son of Havoc makes me smile; welcome to the club!) Fox agreeing to take that Storm Cradle Driver on the broken glass right after taking that powerbomb is absolutely insane.

The third fall somehow builds to an even higher crescendo thanks to, of all things, a gurney. The DVD off the turnbuckles to the gurney on the floor (with the absolutely insane visual of a chunk of Fox’s back left behind) and then the Killstomp that looks like it crushed the damn thing just added to the craziness of this match. The finish to this match is insane. This whole match was insane. I don’t know so much about the wrestling part of it, or what the hell Striker was saying at points with him being able to verbally masturbate over it being a war in a wrestling ring, but this was as visceral a wrestling match as you’ll see. I’ve seen plenty of deathmatches in my day, but this is right up there with the outright nuttiest things I’ve seen. I thought for sure that Killshot was going to take the lion’s share of the bumps because of his CZW background, but Fox went above and beyond here. Nothing will top this over the next three shows.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 36: The Rise of the Ring Announcer

ER: I really liked the opening Melissa Santos/Fenix segment, a lot. It came off like an updated take on Girlfight or something. The prior romantic scenes between Fenix/Santos came off silly, this came off downright steamy, like the George Clooney/Jennifer Lopez scenes in Out of Sight, or the Timothee Chalamet/Armie Hammer scenes in Call Me By Your Name. I thought their body language was really strong, loved the interplay of submissions, loved the sparring and grappling as metaphor for relationship dynamics, that gentle hair flop onto Fenix's face, thought all of it worked tremendously well. Now, if you think of it out of a vacuum it gets weirder, as you realize that Melissa Santos is going to be in the ring wrestling for the first time ever and they only announced it at the beginning of the episode where that was happening, and then you start thinking "Wait these two are locking in these tight go behinds and she's letting her hair seductively flop all over Fenix's face and...she hasn't even seen his face? This all seemed pretty intimate. It feels like they've been hanging out. And this whole time, during meals, during dates, during post training showers...Fenix has not removed that mask? How terrible must that mask smell?? Santos has let herself grow dangerously, emotionally close to a man who may have a Monster energy tattoo on his forehead for all she knows. But that's what thinking gets you. Follow your heart. The segment was good.

TL: I can’t even begin to top what Eric just said so my only addition to this, whether it was good editing or camera cuts or what have you, is that Santos looked like she could go!!! I all of a sudden am into whatever that tag match is gonna be. This was one of the best examples of female empowerment the show has ever portrayed because this was natural as opposed to shoved down our throats like Sexy Star was. Santos came off as a big deal with this, which is what wrestling promos are supposed to do!

Dante Fox vs. Texano

ER: I liked this more than I expected, and it's true that Fox is typically more interesting when he's against more of a power base than another athletic flipper. Texano can get really lazy during routine moments, looking like a somnambulist going through simple sequences like a lazy clothesline/back elbow sequence, but he excels here at making Fox look strong. When a guy throws a lazy clothesline you wouldn't expect him to throw himself into a crucifix bomb, and Texano is good at working around fast Fox sequences, like all of the stuff on the apron that eventually lead to the run-up-ringpost moonsault. The match was a good Worldwide length of 5-6 minutes, and even though it got too move trade-y down the stretch I was pleasantly surprised overall. Famous B botches (in storyline) the ending and calls Texano the winner, so Dario sets up B vs. Texano for next week. B says his arm is still broke from Pentagon and Dario FINALLY gets a classic Dario line in (feels like it's been WAY too long) when he says "Well then it looks like it will be a...handicap match!" Pure gold. Dario hasn't felt fully "Dario" this season, and comes off really ineffective and less the all powerful manipulator. That line was needed.

TL: Striker makes a “Clerks” joke (“I’m not even supposed to be here today”) because of Dante and not only does it make me feel old but reminds me that Kevin Smith almost died mere days ago. I thought this was alright, but not a standout or anything. Fox doing a faceplant on an enzuigiri was amusing and then became even moreso when he just went back on offense after taking a bump that looked like it would have killed him. I’ve talked about how Texano has basically looked disinterested ever since when he first came to LU with Alberto Del Rio and was used to put him over not only in LU, but in AAA, so this really does feel like he’s collecting a paycheck at this point. Agree with the line usage, but in Dario’s defense, he was in jail, man. He’s seen some shit. Just not the same guy anymore.

Marty "The Moth" Martinez/Mariposa vs. Fenix/Melissa Santos

ER: Still really surprised that this match wasn't announced at all in advance. Do they advertise? Maybe they advertise and this was announced. It feels like a pretty big match within the LU universe. And it was really fun, although after all the wins and big moments they gave to Sexy Star it's ridiculous that they can't give Santos a good moment. Moth has been licking and rubbing on her for a couple seasons now, and while she's a non-wrestler that never stopped Sexy Star from wrestling. Give her a fucking pinfall, who are we protecting here? Anyway Fenix works a nice match against the two, including hitting an actual good looking Lethal Injection and hitting a wild twisting dive to the floor. Santos getting into the match was a great moment, with Moth running into a perfectly timed high kick from the apron and the gets Irish whipped into elbow smashing Mariposa. The tandem offense didn't look great but the moment was still good.

TL: This WAS announced in advance, but Eric, much like me when I’m trying to burn through reviews, most likely fast-forwarded past the 20-second mention of it from a couple weeks ago by Striker and Vampiro. So…what I’m trying to say is that Eric made the right decision in skipping past how this match got announced in the first place. Striker says Fenix has a “legendary mask” like he’s Atlantis or something. Mariposa is so sudden with her offense, it’s amazing to think she’s been doing this for two decades. One thing in addition to Melissa doing the job in this match: There’s now absolutely no doubt that Marty is gonna lose. Had Melissa gotten a pin on Mariposa, at least you could have seen a more level playing field. Melissa’s offensive moments were definitely cool, but the way this ended was a bit too much.

ER: We get a rundown of the epic card for the 4 episode (!) Ultima Lucha extravaganza, which should make for plenty of fun. Although how absolutely ridiculous does Ivelisse vs. Catrina look at this point?? The last Ivelisse match aired 6 months before this episode, and Catrina has never wrestled in the fed. Does anyone watching even remember why they made that match?

TL: It’s a huge card, but to be honest, I’m really only looking forward to the main event, the cage match, and the Fox/Killshot match. There’s gonna be a lot of filler for me to get into.

Paul London vs. Mala Suerte vs. Saltador vs. Cortez Castro vs. Drago vs. Son of Havoc vs. Pentagon Dark

ER: This was a pretty cracking spotfest, one of the best Drago performances in awhile, a continuation of Paul London as an extremely relevant wrestler after a few years in the woods, some great Saltdaor stuff, just a ton of fun. Drago was the centerpiece of this whole thing, either tying things together and finding things to occupy time. I loved him sprinting across the ring after London leading to London doing his bananas springboard tope en reversa to the floor. he easily could have just stood there doing nothing since London was going to do the spot anyway, this made things feel more immediate. Saltador got some nice moments and I especially loved him getting backdropped into London (who was slumped in the corner). We got a couple big dives, everybody moved in and out of it smoothly, a couple nice saves, just a fun spotfest. We do get a dumbo ending with Havoc and Pentagon getting simultaneous pinfalls, but Dario comes out to announce a ladder match between the two, which is fine.

TL: I like that this match was basically laid out like an atomicos or a cibenertico, as it never really let up and gave everyone some shine. If you’re gonna do a damn seven way, you might as well take advantage and sprint. And yeah, they sprint, big time. London looks great in this match, like a true Droog. I wish he would talk shit in Cockney gibberish slang between moves. But my guy in this match? Saltador. All his offense looked crisp as all hell. He had this great springboard legdrop that looked snug when it landed and he had a great dive. Also looked great taking down Pentagon to start. I don’t like the ending either, a true bait and switch bullshit ending, but we got to see Dario yell “LADDER MATCH!” in a way that made me smile. He must have known tapings were winding down, man. He went for it in this episode.

ER: I love all the backseat of a limo scenes with Dario, and they're only better with Godfrey. I don't know who they can get to be the cigar smoking boss, but considering the programming on El Rey can we PLEASE make it Fred Williamson? We all know everyone in power is a rich old white man, so LU needs to flip the script and present us a rich old black man as the one in charge. If it's Fred Williamson I will happily go back and watch every second of every single Sexy Star moment, and not complain.

TL: Fred Williamson is awesome, but considering he’s done voiceovers for WWE highlight packages before, I’d look at the budget and just not pull ANY punches: KEITH. DAVID. MAKE IT HAPPEN, CHAVO. I NEED Keith on this show, man. Also, I love how in the span of two mintues, Dario adds two more matches I’m actually fine with for Ultima Lucha in the three-way and the ladder match. He might be getting it back just in time for the biggest show of the year, baby.


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 29: The Hunger Inside

ER: I have to wonder if Cueto feeding Matanza a big plate of raw meat is an inside joke. When we were just starting Phoenix Pro Wrestling, my pal Josh (PPW owner/booker) drove down to meet up with JR Kratos and Jeff Cobb to film some things, and go over plans for the first few shows. And he said at one point that day the two of them ate this huge bowl of raw looking meat, while chatting, just getting that protein.

TL: So last episode, I was either uninterested (three matches with three indy standoffs to start off will do it to you) or Eric made all the good points already so I’m gonna jump right in and be all about this week’s episode. I hope. Matanza wanting raw meat that bad just makes me want sashimi, and also makes me want to go back to Japan. Hey! Jeff was in Japan in December! He ate steak! I don’t know if it was raw, but he ate steak! Gonna say with 100% confidence that this scene was the thing that got him to Japan. Deductive reasoning at its finest, baby.

1. Pindar vs. Fenix

ER: This delivered just about what I wanted, with Pindar dropping a bunch of big slams and powerbomb variations, hard elbow shots to the jaw and back of the head, and Fenix almost killing himself. My favorite part of the match was actually Kobra Moon choking Fenix in the corner while the ref was distracted. She really got that arm wrapped around his neck and sunk it in from a position of leverage. That choke is pro wrestling right there. Pindar threw some nice knuckle punches at Fenix's dome. Pindar still looks like Dirk Benedict at the end of Sssssss, and to my surprise we don't get a dozen shots of Melissa concerned for Fenix (just one!). Luckily, Pindar is base-y as hell because Fenix could have died doing that Spanish fly off the top. Finish is awesome with Fenix just jumping both knees first right into Pindar's guy, the way I used to jump off the back of the couch onto my poor father.

TL: Pindar as a base for Fenix’s shenanigans makes me giddy coming in. I have absolutely no idea what Vampiro’s talking about with Fenix’s black and white attire. Pindar with a fantastic quebradora that Fenix bumped crazy for. In fact, that’s just the beginning of an AWESOME run of Pindar offense. The spinning wheel kick in the corner is one of my favorite moves I’ve seen in a long time and was very Jerry Flynnesque. The monkey flip with Fenix doing the AJ Styles “wait until the last possible second to tuck and roll” bump was insane. Even Pindar’s crazy-ass Royal Butterfly slam just looked cool. Then Fenix one-ups him with his ridiculous springboard sole butt to the face, which basically always looks good. That Spanish Fly was definitely problematic, but Pindar snapping off for the bump was masterful. I really hope we get to see more of him this season. Great start, even with Fenix off his game.

TL: Jack Evans with a wired jaw is high comedy to me considering his body is basically made out of rubber. Still a better promo not being able to talk right than PJ.

2. Dante Fox vs. Prince Puma

ER: I'm so tired of writing up matches like these. I don't know what to say anymore. Big moves were hit, usually really well! Strikes were exchanged, dives were done; some of the moves looked really painful, but they probably weren't because neither guy seemed to have much trouble taking a move and then doing a move. Sometimes moves didn't hurt, and other times just doing a move might make you lie on the mat and breathe hard. At one point I actually forgot who was who, as it didn't really matter in terms of following along with the action. You knew cool things were going to happen, and after about 10 minutes of cool things then one of the guys would be pinned. Both men may as well have been wearing Green Man jumpsuits, as it really didn't matter who was doing what. This was the sexiest of the sexy dance fighting. Do you remember years and years ago, when (I think) Eric Bischoff suggested making pro wrestling an Olympic sport, with judges and points systems? A lot of us within our circle laughed it off and knew it would just be cooperative gymnastics specifically appealing to judges instead of crafting something interesting. Well, this - and a lot of popular current wrestling style - is cooperative gymnastics specifically appealing to judges. This is wrestling seeking star ratings and chants, all that's missing at this point is breathing heavily while holding your pose at the end of your Bolero routine. These two should enter some kind of swing dancing competitions or something. There's a whole touring circuit out there that's missing them.

TL: So this has all the makings of all of the crazy athleticism of Ricochet/Ospreay, matches that I actively disliked due to the choreography. Also, Striker calling Puma/PJ Black a five-star matchup is such pandering bullshit it makes me take him less serious than ever. And yeah, this match doesn’t start off the way I’d like it to, as both guys do the dive tradeoff as the substitute for your normal indy standoff; selling not even optional, more like non-existent. Something finally happens when Puma catches the Fox moonsault, only for it to be a DDT that looked sick enough that if it got no-sold, I would have just skipped the match entirely. Fox grabbing a chinlock after four minutes, with the way this match started, would make Kevin Owens laugh out loud. Randy Orton doesn’t even have the balls to do that. Then, when Puma goes right back on offense, it’s as if the Fox “control segment” didn’t even matter. And now they go into a damn rollup sequence and then a ludicrous kick-trading sequence. AND THEN THEY SELL FATIGUE TO TRADE ELBOWS. Good lord almighty. One of the reasons Dragon Lee/Kamaitachi at least worked was that they built up to stuff in a way and sold high impact stuff in a way that at least made sense. This was a cherry picked version of that match where selling only mattered to remember the next sequence. Striker also literally calls a brainbuster a “modified Jackhammer” in this match. I know Puma’s moving on. You know Puma’s moving on. I am moving on from this match because it’s just not even close to the type of wrestling I can enjoy. I’ll just say this: Ricochet going to NXT is going to 100% work out for my personal enjoyment of him because they’ll figure out the best way to tone him down and accentuate his strengths. At least until they sign Ospreay in a year or two.

TL: Oh, so NOW they figure out Cage killed a guy with the power glove. This is the worst police department of all time. I do think it’s hilarious they somehow got the TV feed from Cortez’s match as Veneno, as if they can access the shows at any time. I have a feeling they can get the Tom Magee/Bret Hart match.

3. Johnny Mundo vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: [I'm not sure what happened, as I wrote this up some time ago and when I went to post, I had nothing written for this match, no memory of what happened in it, no clue what happened to whatever I originally wrote]

TL: We get a close look at Ron Funches and the Mysterio family in the crowd, with Dominic looking big. Striker references them often in this one, so I figured I’d just get it out of the way now. This match coming in was something I’d be interested in if Dragon literally works this like Rey would against Mundo, but instead, he gets off to a good start with an enziguiri and then a springboard rana that Mundo rolls outside for with a ridiculous bump. I have no idea why Azteca would do a forward roll before trying a pescado rana, but Johnny’s sick spinebuster counter off it is another great Mundo transition spot. Mundo’s control sequence is fun with his sliding knee and his always good-looking springboard kick. Azteca works really well from underneath here, and when he is able to vault Mundo to the floor, he hits a truly insane somersault plancha over the ringpost, complete with awesome camera shot. I also love Dragon’s unique kick counters, as he slides towards the corner off a whip and then just catches a charging Mundo in the face. I also love a good Toyota Roll, and Dragon does a great one here. Azteca also busts out the prawn hold from the top rope, which always looks nasty. Of course, Mundo trips up Dragon on the top and finishes with The End of the World (this one more of a headbutt than a splash). This was your normal good Mundo match. Postmatch, Mundo tries to go too far with the chair around Dragon’s neck, only for Rey to save him and take him to the back…which leads to Mundo coming back out and getting in Dominic’s face, with Dominic actually saying, “You know who I am.” Then he eats a belt shot while Rey gets held back by Johnny’s posse. It’s a great heat-seeking move, to be honest, even if it was telegraphed and the Mysterio family did no favors with their acting. Feel like this was a way better build-up than any of the “true fight” stuff from the weeks before.

TL: Yeah, this had way more meat for me to dig into this week, even if the only match I truly got into was the opener. Next episode has the Mil Muertes/Jeremiah Crane match that has had a build and is supposedly quite good, so we’ll see how well that stacks up.


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 27: Fade to Black

TL: I know it’s not the season for it anymore, but for me to be watching this show with so many scenes on rooftops during the Christmas season and not make an “Up on the Rooftop” reference means that I just left content hanging out there for you guys and for that, I am sorry. I really am. Also, this has both the most substitute teacher-looking Vampiro so far and PJ Black flipping the bird towards Puma. I don’t really have much else for that. Just that it happened.

1. Pindar vs. Cage

ER: I was looking forward to this match, but oh well, now we got Pindar as a bracket buster. The ref leaned into that big Cage lariat, and it's getting pretty annoying how they've been taking every other week off as it concerns DQs. Pretty sure every match last week had some kind of interference.

TL: Pindar being announced from a different time (“When Reptiles Ruled the Earth”) makes me wonder why more wrestlers don’t try things like that. The Vaudevillains should have been billed from “When Motion Pictures Were Turned with a Hand Crank” or something to that regard. “When Two Bits Were a Common Form of Currency.” “When The Wright Brothers Finished Their First Flight.” Anyways, you reading this took longer than the match, as Cage didn’t want to take off the Power Glove and knocks out Ph.D. Justin Borden and Pindar with it before the DQ. Borden is nuts for letting Cage essentially do a one-armed Screwdriver to him since Cage did it with the glove on. Can’t wait for there to be a DQ next week for a closed fist.

2. Dante Fox vs. Son of Havoc

ER: The Dario inconsistent rulings really are made more annoying when they come back to back. He's cool with Cage/Pindar not actually having a match, but THIS match we ALL need to see? And also, can anybody confirm that Vampiro has ever even been in the same room as Misawa? He's brought it up three times this season, and I can't recall any kind of AJPW tours that he was on pre-NOAH split, and I know he never showed up on a NOAH tour. I think there's an honest chance that I have been in live attendance more times, AND appeared in photographs more times with Misawa than Vampiro has. And as long as you zoned out during all of the move set up, this match totally delivered. Some of the set ups were just awful, really glaring "Hey could you wait there for me to hit this move? Sure, just return the favor for me by awkwardly rolling 6 feet over so I can hit a moonsault." But the big moves were ridiculous, and I'm glad Fox got the win after some of his lunacy. He does a massive flip dive that overshoots Havoc (he overshoots his flip dives so much that I'm almost starting to think it's on purpose), weird stuff like jumping onto the top rope knees first to do a strange Spanish fly variation, that brutal leg drop from the top rope to the apron (really I'd love more wrestlers aping Damien Wayne than Kenny Omega) and then taking a coconuts death valley driver from the apron WAY far away onto the floor. He really felt like he was pulling out all his tricks and while I hated a lot of the transitions in the match, I'm glad his crazy was rewarded.

TL: This match-up is something I’m definitely lukewarm on, but mainly on the Havoc side. Fox is a guy I’ve liked more than I haven’t but there’s too much here for bad habits to present itself with. Fox busts out his absolutely insane somersault plancha over the ringpost that he’d hit in Reseda and the aforementioned leg drop, but I actually liked him looking up to the ceiling before he hit the Swanton which made me think he might actually hit something hanging down. He’s just insanely athletic. Lo Mein Pain is normally a goofy set up but he hits it well here. This match really does devolve into inconsistency with the transitions to Son of Havoc’s offense because he takes SO much time before trying to hit something. The time it took before that apron DVD was just mindnumbingly long. I’ve talked about how much I love the Mushroom Stomp, but Havoc hits one so lightly here I thought he slipped. The flashes of good don’t make up for the inconsistent overall construction of it. It’s pretty obvious that Fox being in there with the right guy means it’s going to be awesome, though. Havoc’s just not the guy.

TL: Benjamin Cooke is basically a Paul Heyman-like talking head that can blow smoke up asses and is just sleazy enough to make you think he can get you a job on…well, a show like Lucha Underground, actually. Very meta. Need more Johnny Mundo talking about Ghost Dad 2 and less screen time to guys that aren’t gonna add much to stories.

3. PJ Black vs. Prince Puma

ER: Boy this did just nothing at all for me. Worse, it annoyed me. That strike exchange annoyed the hell out of me. I mean my god was that stupid. And it went on forever. Just big leaping spinny kicks and knees and bad forearms and a neverending sequence of guys spinning from a strike just to hit their own spinny strike. And they were selling how tired they were, so it was done in an almost preposterous slow motion. This kind of strike exchange can still work within the Low-Ki/Red Jackie Chan fast countering style, but I thought this "we're exhausted but we're having a war using the least efficient strikes to do so" looked horrible and embarrassing. The spots weren't nearly as impressive as the previous match, and those move and strike exchanges were the worst of modern wrestling.

TL: Yeah, a few minutes in and I’m echoing Eric’s sentiments. They run through a Reseda Standoff that has been seen WAY too many times before and then Puma goes through a long control segment that just doesn’t grab me. Black busts out a reverse suplex into a Dragon Clutch and it just makes me want to watch a Low Ki match. If this was a straight up sprint that went six minutes and had just insane athletic moves from both guys, it would be way better than this. The match starting with Puma’s comeback should have been the match but with everything at a breakneck pace. I really hate that there are moves with WWE-related buzzwords like “Wellness Policy.” It’s just so petty and makes you look minor league. OH CRAP, THAT STRIKE EXCHANGE IS TERRIBLE. All those kicks not putting anyone down, two guys who can’t throw strikes throwing strikes…I’m trying to talk myself into this match and that took me out. I’m now actively just waiting for the end of it. Black pops up back for a counter after taking a super poison rana. Sure. The Puma 630 was super low and tight, which was cool, but this match was just not even remotely close to being “amazing” like Striker said it was. Guessing Meltz Is feeding him lines at this point.

ER: PJ Black gets a match against Rey Mysterio on the very next episode, and Dario tells him that "he will finally be able to show the fans what he's all about." He was literally JUST in the main event of this show, and lost a "war". What more can he honestly be about that he hasn't shown in his 18 or so LU matches so far?

TL: Don’t get why Cueto would even take three calls from Cooke, let alone 18. If someone was trying to call me that many times, I’d fire the wrestler he represents. Easy peasy. Hate booking a match where you put a guy in Black’s position, where you either make Rey look weak because you want to make Black strong for some reason, or you book a completely predictable match against a guy who’s supposed to be the most legendary figure in the company. Just an odd booking choice and a complete lapse of judgement in resources.


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 25: Left for Dead

ER: Despite not being excited for the eventual match, I really enjoyed the Dante Fox package. The torture room stuff after Killshot left him behind was straight out of Syriana, dudes just punching and kicking him in the face, even going so far as to have him about to be beheaded! Am I just forgetting, or is this the first actual time they've explained why Fox has a problem with Killshot?

TL: It was definitely well done and told a better story than most have been told this year. That is, except the Power Glove. ALL HAIL THE POWER GLOVE. I really don’t understand why there aren’t more packages like this to get you involved in storylines. This told you everything you wanted to hear and hardly any words were said. Plus, yet another guy on a rooftop in Boyle Heights, so they have that going for them. Having it be Killshot in an elevated position is pretty damn good, though. Nice little add on.

TL: Update on Vampiro not saying Sergio Arau’s name correctly: Still can’t say it correctly.

1. PJ Black vs. Sexy Star

ER: Normally it could be written off as an annoying Matt Striker quirk to bring up Jim Breaks in a Sexy Star match, but now it's appropriate since they are both documented piles of shit. PJ is far too generous here and it was probably his best LU performance. He launches himself 2/3 the way across the ring on a rana, takes her flimsy armdrags, gets shoved off the top to the floor and crashes spectacularly. He also drops her with a brainbuster that is nastier than any move she has ever performed. So of course if keeps her down for just a couple seconds. Thankfully for PJ, Taya comes out to interfere, or else PJ would have had zero chance against the bravest woman to ever enter this cruel world. Star hits him with brass knux for the rarely seen LU DQ, but I care not about the stupid finish, as it means I no longer have to see her in the tournament.

TL: Sexy Star has a staff for some reason now. An even better line than the Jim Breaks is Striker saying “Sexy putting her ego aside!” before hitting a plancha. I also wonder how Borden can be outsmarted by ANYONE given he’s got all those degrees. AND THEN SHE HITS BORDEN WITH THE KNUCKS? Good lord was that unnecessary. Much like this match. Because Sexy Star, even in defeat, has to look this strong. Unreal. I’ll never get this.

TL: I fast forwarded through the Real Fight Rey/Johnny package but got a still screen of Mundo on a rooftop training, which makes me wonder why LU doesn’t just open a rooftop dojo.

2. Son of Havoc vs. Son of Madness

ER: If they never build to a Loser Shaves Beard match then they have truly failed. With his black mask and dark beard, Madness looks like Phineas of the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers, and he's clearly a bump freak as he takes a hip toss from the Temple steps to the floor. They do a pretty stupid missed clothesline spot in the corner, just dancing around and missing clotheslines over and over, but Madness hits a cool spear through the buckles and kneels on Havoc's throat, so whatever. I don't really like Havoc's offense, but the two do a nice job of exchanging their respective offense, and regardless of the offense the nearfalls were effective. Madness has a cool jackhammer, Havoc takes his nice back of neck ropes bump into a cutter (far more decent than that stupid cutter set up from Jay Lethal) and we build to a fast dive from Havoc. So we get a nice, effectively built match with a skin of the teeth win from Havoc, which is all perfectly acceptable. I probably would have felt a little more throughout the match if we had a little backstory on Madness. We know that his father or mother is Madness, and that he wanted to take out Havoc. And I kinda hate that some kind of biker doppelgänger wanted Havoc's blood, and Havoc responded with handsprings.

TL: Wish that Madness would have kept the vest on the entire time just so folks could tell the two apart better, but then you could really tell the two apart after a while via the glorious beard. This was a pretty good match in a lot of ways. Madness had some cool spots and did a good job of being a foil for Havoc’s offense, and this was actually one of the better matches of the first round when it’s all said and done. We now have a vest stealing storyline, which is probably a mid-tier sartorial storyline in the annals of wrestling. To be honest, I’m not topping Eric’s line about the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers. And you probably skipped this to go on to the next match.

3. Prince Puma vs. Ricky Mandel

ER: This ended up being pretty rewarding for a 90 second match. Puma pump kicks him at the bell and plants him with a rolling brainbuster, and we get a nice unexpected kick out from Mandel. The match easily could have just ended there, but I like that they gave him a little something with the kick out. He also gets to hit a nice superkick, although Puma just kind of cracks his neck, hits another pump kick, and then a sick driver to end it. I appreciated that Mandel kept his sunglasses on the whole time.

TL: There’s a Phoenix Pro Wrestling regular named Kenny K who wrestles with his sunglasses on and he’s one of the best workers in the company, pretty easily, too. So I thoroughly enjoyed Ricky being such a schlub he kept the glasses on the entire time. I can get behind Hoodie Puma big time, much like people got behind Hoodie Melo. Fun squash right here.

4. Dante Fox vs. Dragon Azteca Jr.

ER: These matches always leave me hollow. Some of the stuff looks good, none of it means anything. Fox takes a couple of great bumps onto his head (including a great one on the floor), but who actually cares, because he sells his jaw more after a few weak Azteca forearms than he ever sold his head. We get big moves and small moves, and moves where you're not totally sure who took the move but it doesn't matter anyway because both guys sell it the same. Both men lie on the mat, surely unable to go on for another second, but then they are able to!! They get up and then the other one does a move that also looks like it hurts both of them! They're both so tired, but then they're both not that tired! This was a backdrop for a Worldwide Undergound attack on Rey, which was a fine beatdown and more interesting than the sexy dance fighting happening in the ring. I was fully expecting a Killshot run-in, and it never happened. But we did get ample thigh slaps and that one sound effect that LU uses.

TL: I’ve always liked AR Fox, as he was one of those just insane athletes that made things look good and he emoted well, but in context against another guy that’s similar to him, it doesn’t stand out. I do think it’s funny that guys are gonna sell elbow strike exchanges like they’re the most important thing in the match, but can’t be bothered to sell anything else even for a few seconds. And then Azteca sells his back being out during the run in only to hit the tope to clear everyone out. I’m kinda trying to find logic here, but it ain’t there. So we’re gonna move on and let this be.

TL: I'm running a bit short on patience with the LU style in a lot of ways. It seems like the worst possible super indy/PWG-style matches for a majority of this, and even plodding matches, if there's a bit of selling, I'm way more of a fan of than the style that has kinda permeated most of the matches I've seen this season. I hope this changes up the rest of the tournament now that there is less riff-raff, but there's a couple matchups that I'm probably not gonna be looking forward to that are going to definitely live up to these expectations.

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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 15: En La Sombras

1. Killshot vs. Dante Fox vs. Mariposa vs. Jeremiah Crane

ER: I thought this was one of the more successful 4 way scrambles of the season. Participants don't always matter in these matches, as there's enough down time for everybody that people can be hidden. But layout is important and you need a traffic director, and people need to hit their stuff. It got a little kick-y and way too sound effects-y at one point (there's a spot down the home stretch where everybody is hitting a variety of kicks, back to back, and all of them have the exact same sound effect, so you were just getting that Slim Jim snap every two seconds), but this was a fun 10 minutes. Fox hit a bunch of rabid succession dives, and then Crane levels him with his awesome low tope. We get a ridiculous chair tower spot that leads to Mariposa throwing nasty chair shots at everyone, throwing chairs around like Necro Butcher, hitting guys at annoying angles with unfolded chairs, really fun bit of violence. Crane felt like he was running things in there, hanging back for the flip offense and always there to cut things off and keep it flowing. The postscript of the match was terrible though, with our final image being the continuing feud of Killshot/Fox, and Killshot hitting his finisher. And I still have zero clue what his finisher is supposed to be. He always just stomps both feet next to his opponent's head. Is it supposed to look like he's stomping the guy's face? Is it a bad bombs away? Whatever it is, no part of him makes any sort of contact with his opponent. Is the fear of another human being leaping high into the sky and *almost* landing on your face enough to paralyze one man long enough to get a 3 count? I'd probably be pretty rattled if I were lying around somewhere, and somebody almost landed on my face. So that's probably it. We'll go with that.

MD: I wanted to name this review: "Night of a Thousand Kicks." that's what this match felt like. In general, though, and this might just be me not watching a lot of super indy multimans and tags, I was really impressed by the complexity of the layout of this. There was a ton for these guys to keep track of and they did so pretty smoothly. I'm tempted to agree with Eric and give the credit for that to Crane. On the other hand, when you have this many strikes and kicks, none of them end up meaning anything. As much as I loved the image of the chairs (and it makes sense because Callihan's the world's best Ambrose), the unprotected shot meant nothing and was totally unnecessary. If you're going to do a spot like that, make it matter. On the other hand, Mariposa's shoulder blocks felt like they did matter because it was such a striking image to have the female in the match be the bully. They completely made it work and believable. Striker insinuating on commentary that insane Mariposa was somehow inspired, like the rest of America, by Sexy Star was pretty maddening though. And sure, if the shoulder blocks resonated, her tossing chairs around the ring absolutely did. She was a total bruiser in this match, even getting to finish the Tower of doom spot. I liked how frustrated she was in not winning the match too. Reactions like that are important in putting over the stakes. Killshot was generally as annoying as usual. Fox wasn't much better (and they're both all the worse for being neither heels nor faces; just being there). And yes, absolutely, on a show that's so heavily produced, why would they so clearly show us Killshot whiffing on his post-match finisher?

ER: There's not much worse than slo mo training in a dark gym to soft flamenco guitar plucking, and then finding a spider in your locker. Yucky! Luckily, that spider was in the locker of the woman who has overcome more than any woman in history.

MD: The Sexy Star thing wasn't so bad in 2x speed. She was hitting that bag super fast.

2. Kobra Moon vs. Drago

ER: Not a lot of LU matches end in a DQ, so I guess that makes this one noteworthy? According to Vampiro, Kobra Moon might not have any bones or cartilage, which I suppose could explain some of the clumsiness. I thought Drago looked quite good in the limited time we got; he did this single leg while shrugging her other leg over his body with his shoulder that looked smooth in a nice understated way. The smaller lizard person looks like Dirk Benedict at the end of Sssssss ("Don't say it, hiss it!").

MD: I'm thinking they should probably have done this over a span of three weeks right? Lizard guy one could debut after a normal Drago squash and look good in the debut. The next week, the trios champs could run him off. Then Lizard Kane could show up on week 3? That would have made everyone look stronger. This way Lizard Kane (did they have to give him both the Chokeslam AND the Tombstone?) was the only one who really got over. Drago's trip-based offense looked better than Angelico's trip based offense later in the night at least. His Dominator was brutal. I can't believe they let Ron Simmons do that week in and week out in 1996.

ER: Sexy Star has shown more anger and passion over this spider in her locker than she showed following her six months as a kidnapped slave. I'm starting to think Sexy Star is really bad at this.

MD: Hey, they made the Iron Fist hallway fight look good. Is this the first real time we've heard Mariposa speak? That's a mistake.

3. Jack Evans vs. PJ Black vs. Son of Havoc vs. Angelico

ER: This was quite the worst of stupid multiman spots, with tons of really bad set ups for moves that didn't look great anyway. PJ Black standing bent at the waist holding Angelico's waistband for an eternity, just to set up Havoc doing a double stomp, was a microcosm of this match. But it did peak with a legitimately holy shit spot with Angelico superplexing Jack Evans off the buckles to the floor. He clearly went over PJ/Havoc and took a full superplex all the way to the floor. Crazy, insane spot, taken by an insane man. But it was fine, as Jack was back in the ring for the finish no less than 15 seconds later. Very little to love about this match.

MD: In theory, I kind of liked that they switched up the way the match was laid out compared to the other multimans and made it a bit more of a 2 vs 2 thing. In practice, they didn't lean hard enough into it. Angelico/Havoc/Ivelisse had a real connection with the crowd. They could have done more with that. I don't think this was necessary worse than some of the other Bulls matches with the contrived set ups, but when you add in the lack of (narrative) impact everything had, it was pretty grating. I liked when they dumped Havoc out of the ring and that did set up an Angelico vs the World bit, but the bit itself was so bad that it didn't really earn any lasting goodwill. And hey, Angelico looks like a putz after they set up his return.

ER: This, right here, was a bad episode of professional wrestling.

MD: I'd call it more middling. That first multiman, while not necessarily a good professional wrestling match, was at least an impressive spectacle.

ER: I will compromise and say, "This, right here, was not a good episode of professional wrestling."


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 12: Every Woman is Sexy, Every Woman is a Star

ER: We're back with the LU reviews!

MD: The delay on these were my fault. Even though I knew it was coming Sexy Star winning took enough air out of my sails that watching LU became a chore.

1. Rabbit Tribe (Paul London/Mala Suerte/Saltador) vs. Fenix/Aerostar/Drago

ER: Rabbit Tribe entrance is just trippy enough to work, and Cholo worked so damn hard in the early LU seasons that I want him to still have a job. That superkick on Fenix was perfectly timed, the no look cannonball got dangerously upside down, Suerte hit a huge plancha to the floor through everyone and a goofy cross-ring dropkick and then a gorgeous powerslam on Fenix. Cholo/Fenix is an awesome match up, good to have the guy back on TV. Fenix had a wild kung fu movie dropkick on Saltador in the corner, and I loved Aerostar arm dragging Fenix into a cannonball. Nice debut for the Tribe, nice defense for the fliers.

MD: After weeks of vignettes, this is maybe not how I'd debut the Rabbit Tribe? While it's good to have them look strong against the champs, a squash would have served better here. That's one of those things you get from LU a lot. They do a lot of things well but miss the basics now and again. There was a sense that any of the champs could overcome any of the Rabbits one on one, but that the Rabbits working together could take down any of the champs. Ultimately though, the champs working together > the rabbits working together (which again, isn't the best for a debut, even a heel one). The hierarchy is always weird in LU though. Everyone is just a little interchangeable. I could have used a bit more heel control to keep this from feeling like a normal weightless LU trios match and it was very weird that London didn't come off as the biggest, most focused upon, star of his group. Also, I didn't like Striker bringing up so much of his past because it doesn't quite sync with him being part of one of the ancient tribes. They need to bridge that gap if they're going to do that. In general, this was fun though. Lots of good spots well executed and a story that was loose but present enough to make this work for what it was. I can't wait to see these guys interact with Jack Evans (or Famous B/Brenda or Marty/Mariposa or Dario or a bunch of the other characters at the Temple). I thought the post match Kobra promo was nice and quick and kept the storylines moving.

ER: Boy they're really trying to make me buy this whole Sexy Star: Deserving Champion nonsense. I want her to get crushed.

2. Dante Fox vs. Killshot

ER: I liked this one until I didn't. They started off with well done sexy dance fighting and devolved into brainless head drop trading. I think things probably peaked with Fox hitting two big dives, and then getting kicked in the face on the third. From there we get a lot of things with complicated set-ups and dangerous landings. Fox is good at taking stuff on the side of his head, but it happens enough with him then hopping up to do his own offense, that it's a little tough to care about his head. They set up a ridiculous death valley driver from the top rope to the apron, then Killshot does his awful double stomp that always sees his feet land nowhere close to his opponent's body. Nearfall gets a major shock reaction from the believers, as they assumed that was it. Fox shows them how silly they were to get sucked into moves meaning something in a Fox/Killshot match by popping up and hitting his own finishers, which Striker already knew the names of. Favorite part was Striker saying "I'm not often at a loss for words but..." in the middle of talking non-stop for 10 minutes.

MD: I'm with Eric on this. I was giving this a pass early on despite the choreographed natured and the fact that Killshot, depsite being a precise military sharpshooter has to flip and roll about in the least disciplined way before he does every single move. I liked the match with Marty and the Matanza spin the wheel one, but he's got the worst habits of anyone on the show. That said, I was giving it a pass because they effectively portrayed the heavy choreography as the two wrestlers knowing each other so well. Then it just escalated more and more with less and less selling. Both guys were so into hitting their stuff that the crowd had no idea who to cheer for. I think they're doing a shades of grey sort of thing where Killshot might have really done Fox wrong and might be the bad guy but Fox came in seeming that way and both guys worked so spot-heavy that any sense of roles ended up completely out the window. After the DVD/Double Stomp kick out and the Storm Cradle Driver roll followed by consequence-shrugging-off rope running I was done. I checked out completely. What a mess. What shitty wrestlers who completely miss the point. Just terrible.

MD: Thankfully, we get some Dario talking segments after this. As always, I love how he's consistently wiping his nose. I got a kick out of the little bits of comedic music in the Mundo talk. I also like the obvious fact that the Triad sent enforcers to fix all of Black Lotuses screw ups but she's too thick to realize that and she thinks she's still in charge of the situation. That's how I'm reading it at least. I'll take what i can get between these two matches.

3. Sexy Star vs. Johnny Mundo

ER: Thank goodness Johnny had Taya planted in the crowd to help him beat the big bad Sexy Star. This stunk. Star has the least effective offense in the company, and they worked a straight match. Mundo tried literally carrying her at certain points, but it's too big a task. Luckily Mundo's flipping finisher never connects anyway, so he didn't have to worry about pulling, as all moves performed on Sexy Star must be pulled lest we break her brittle bird bones.

MD: Shoot, you know what? This wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting. For one thing, Mundo is willing to bump around the ring for Star, making her stuff look passable when it really, really shouldn't. He did suprisingly well positioning her about during the matwork segments too. I think what impressed me the most were the transitions. Every time she ended back on offense it was either due to a miscue from Mundo or due to her taking advantage of his positioning with a quick trip or kicking out of the leg, something like that. It was believable and well put together. No, I don't think Mundo (or the structure) carried this to being actually good, but given the result I'd take "Not nearly as bad as I was expecting" at this point. The finish was a little anti climactic. It would have been better if Taya was banned from the arena and snuck in under a mask or something. But hey, Star had a one week reign, right? So whatever works.


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Lucha Underground Season 3 Episode 10: Ready for War

1. Believer's Backlash: Famous B vs. Mascarita Sagrada

ER: This was exactly what it should have been and very fun. Famous B put on a helluva show with pratfall bumps, weapons improv and amusing vain comedy. He took all of Mascarita's shots and made them look gold, bumping huge on a football helmet headbutt, tripping and falling into a giant bag of popcorm, really just doofing it up all around the temple. Brenda gets piefaced, Sagrada hits a big elbowdrop of a step ladder on the announce table, and this was as long as it should have been. I would have liked to see some more random fan weapons used. And I always wondered how that worked. Do fans really bring their own objects to use as weapons, or does the fed pass them out? It would be a hilarious visual to see a bunch of wrestling fans milling about the street all carrying makeshift clubs and frying pans. I assume we'll see pictures of fans waiting in line for this taping spread across InfoWars as PROOF of an unpatriotic liberal uprising.

MD: I'm sure it's been done before but this was the Let's Make a Deal version of the "Fans Bring the Weapons" match. I loved the guy with the football. I also really love B's Jimmy Hart style jacket for Wagner. In a promotion where they tout Chavo Guerrero Jr. as a lucha legend, the Arrogance can was the most self-aware thing they've ever done. It's telling that it was proclaiming an awareness for 1991 WWF TV as opposed to actual lucha libre. My favorite bit was the magic wand and hat though. I would have been perfectly happy if that was the finish. They went on after that but not really to the match's detriment. Anyway, this was hugely feel good, a season ending sort of thing. I'm curious what the follow up will be.

MD: I'm not sure if Eric caught it but Daga got killed off screen. This is a wrestling promotion where people get killed off screen by members of the reptile clan. Also embarrassing fart jokes, so there you go.

ER: I completely missed that. Just like I missed Ryck apparently being killed in a comic book. And the Jack Chick tract detailing Vampiro's dark arts propaganda.

2. Marty The Moth Martinez, Jeremiah Crane, The Mack, Ivelisse & Mariposa vs. Cage, Texano, Dante Fox, Killshot & Argenis

ER: This was fun until the faceplant finish. It's a shame it was only 6 minutes as 10 people could milk this for way more fun. Plus short match time + large amount of match participants = Striker feeling the need to talk louder and faster to get his hack jokes in. Crane made a nice debut, Cage looked killer and hit one of his best 360 lariats, Mack hits his giant fat guy dive, Striker reminds me I still have two Cage/Texano matches to watch, and everything is flowing wonderfully...and then we get an immediate rudo turn by Fox, at the exact same time we're getting an injury angle (?), with Ivelisse rolling to the floor holding her ankle going Not Again! Dante Fox hits one of the most improbable drivers possible to turn on Killshot, really moving through several points of dance just to go through the trouble of getting him on his shoulders. Grab an arm, now the other, cross them, extend them, curl them tight to the body, now lift! It took as long for me to type that as it did for Fox to physically go through the motions. It looked terrible. Killshot has only been tolerable when matched against a larger dude who he can bump for. Now he'll be matched with a guy the exact same size as him doing the exact same flips. Yuck. Fox's inverted cannonball to the floor was sick though.

MD: With the exception of Argenis, everyone here had some sort of purpose or issue. Some of that is Marty just being an all out scumbag who pisses off everyone, but in general it highlights the strength of the promotion. I'm with Eric on Killshot. I've liked him well enough in a cinematic brawl or in a mismatch but he's the last guy you want in one of these multiman flipfests. I thought Crane looked good in his first actual match though you ended up forgetting him in the morass. It probably wasn't the best way to introduce the crowd to his stuff. As disposable Lucha Underground wrestling goes, this was fun, sure.

3. Grave Consequences: Mil Muertes vs. Prince Puma

ER: They've had a lot of fun with this gimmick and this match was no different. The match wasn't as good as the first one, but probably better than the one with Matanza. Puma starts it off big by jumping Mil and leaping from the back of the temple down into the crowd. All of the spots with the casket are always super impressive. That thing looks heavy as hell so it adds a lot of realism to the stuff they're doing around it. And all the spots into that casket always look back breaking. Both men bounce off it in painful ways, but that's not enough as Puma decides it's best for him to go through several tables. The chokeslam off the top through tables looked nuts, the spear through a table was great (with a piece of table almost hanging in air before dropping across Muertes' head), and Puma even made "normal" moves look devastating, like the flatliner on the floor. Muertes' big gimmick stip matches are as close to a guarantee as you can get to a good match. Although, am I the only one who thought this match just kind of...happened? The build really didn't seem strong, it just felt like the time of the season dictated the match. "Well, a Grave Consequences match has taken place about 10 episodes into the other seasons, so it's time to do another one!" Felt much more like Hell in a Cell happening because it's the month that Hell in a Cell happens, much less like "this match NEEDS to be Grave Consequences!"

MD: I'd rank this one in the middle as well. I did like the callbacks to Konnan. I don't know if he's on the outs with LU at this point or what (I think Vampiro replaced him in AAA), but if he is (and wouldn't he be on TV if he wasn't?), they deserve all the more credit for referencing him for the sake of story despite that. I was more into the general build for this than Eric. Vampiro goading Puma into it happened over a span of weeks and it certainly seemed big enough. Part of that depends on where they go from here, though.

I think the familiarity helped relative to the first one with Fenix. We know these characters a lot better by now. They've presented Puma as a star from day one. It made sense that he'd be able to hang with Muertes, even as he bounced off him, and I thought Puma wrestled well as an Ace fighting a monster in his own match.

The set pieces more or less made this. The 630 onto the coffin was crazy. The ring hook was gnarly. The powerbomb onto the coffin earlier in the match almost made the long, long time that Muertes took to set things up forgivable. It's telling that Eric, without the two of us comparing notes, picked a few completely different moments to highlight. I don't think I've actively got excited for anything on this show quite like the handstand reversal out of the Flatliner, though. That's probably the spot of the season.

They gave it all gravitas at the end by not doing a skit after the match like they normally do. So, yeah, I thought this felt weightier than Eric, but a lot of it does depend on where things go from here.


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