Found Footage Friday: WWF 1998~! AUSTIN~! TOO SEXY~! AGUILA~! FAAROOQ~! CACTUS~! TAFKA GOLDUST~! QUEBECERS~!

WWF House Show Anaheim 3/13/98

Mr. Aguila vs. Brian Christopher

MD: This was the good stuff. I can't imagine anything else on the show is going to reach this level. Christopher was as on as a human being could possibly be. Fascinating reactions to things, fascinating creative choices. He went for a German out of the corner and Aguila landed on his feet. Yet he celebrated like he had just tossed him across the ring. Surely, he would have felt... well, no matter. Then he ate a massive dive and sold his throat for some reason. I enjoyed it. He had some really nice offense too, not just the power bomb down the stretch but a Stroke and this Bulldog which for some reason Aguila decided to sell by compacting himself in a seated spot. Story of his comeuppance was going for the same thing twice and then having it backfire on him in the most spectacular way possible (bulldog #2 let to him crotched in the corner). Really, this was Christopher wound up and given room to run as fast and as far as possible to amazing results.

ER: I love how long they both took coming to the ring. We've never seen Aguila take this long to walk to the ring, and because of that this is the most we have ever heard of Aguila's music. This is the clearest this theme has ever been played. We're learning more about WWF Aguila than ever before, as this is also a clear beautiful look at his gear. This is a GREAT set of gear on Aguila, great use of bright color against white, Lisa Frank color with a clean white canvas. He uses that canvas to paint something beautiful, like the sequence where he knocked Christopher down with a spinning heel kick, hit an effortlessly high floating dropkick to knock him to the floor, then hit an incredible twisting moonsault press to the floor. Cleanest shit ever. 

Christopher was great at setting up his own offense and Aguila's. His set up and execution of the Stroke, rolling Aguila through and firmly planting him, got a stunned reaction and he knew it, soaking in the crowd's hate even more than normal. His messy bulldog (complimentary) nicely set up Aguila shoving him off the next bulldog, balls first into the turnbuckles. The elbowdrop Aguila dropped right on Christopher's face after he dropped to the mat was the best...or was it the best when Christopher hopped to his feet running in place selling that the elbowdrop smashed his nose. How often did we get to see Christopher use two different powerbomb variations in WWF? Funny that I'm seeing it on a house show. Both men covered from the blown spot well, Christopher worked as base for luchadors far better than anyone could have expected. 

Steve Blackman vs. Faarooq

MD: Farooq looked really good here. Just tons of presence. He called everyone ugly on the mic to start, then got Blackman to pose, lured him into the corner and hit a spinning heelbutt I've never seen him do. It was just the way he carried himself. He went for a handshake and Blackman kicked it away but then he got him to run right into the spinebuster slam. Most of his offense was just tossing Blackman out so D-Lo and Henry could beat on him, and Blackman won far, far too soon with a small package out of nowhere, but Farooq looked great in the few minutes we got here, just like the savviest wrestler going. Post-match there was Nation dissension and Rocky ran out and drew chants to try to calm everything down.  

ER: Faarooq looked so damn good here. As someone who's been throwing 1998 WWF on as a break from 1997 WCW, I can attest that this is the best Faarooq looks in the ring in the entire first half of '98. Was he saving it all for the house shows? I'm so confused. He had a really cool Raw match against Shamrock in January '98, so maybe we just weren't getting enough Faarooq against shooters? Honestly, this is one of the greatest NATION performances we have. This is more than just the leader, this is everybody contributing. Faarooq is out here channeling Jungle Jim Kelly with a corner spinkick that he never otherwise used, showing off his peoples' karate to some white karate champ, while his whole team is putting in great work. How about Mark Henry throwing fucking BODY shots full arm into Blackman's stomach? Mark Henry is in baggy light wash jeans and a leather vest and is so wide it's insane. He looks like prom night Shaq. Kama and D-Lo put the boots to Blackman and Kama throws one of the best punches he's ever thrown. Faarooq's singlet doesn't get enough credit for being as elegant as it was. A truly great piece of pro wrestling gear. The simple band diagonally across his torso and the confidence to have so much of the singlet all black. This is confidence. Blackman's inside cradle finish was so slick and so well executed that it played as a finish just as well as Ogawa beating Akiyama, but this was a whole damn Nation show.

Cactus Jack vs. Billy Gunn [Falls Count Anywhere] 

MD: This was great fun. Just constant motion with weapon shots and big bumps all around and stooging from Gunn. Gunn landing on the outstretched chair and taking a goofy flopping bump was one of my favorite Billy Gunn things ever. The transitions were otherwise basically of convenience. Gunn would roll out on the Mandible Claw. He'd roll Cactus back in and Jack would take over in the corner with punches and the running knee, etc. So it wasn't exactly rocket science, but it was still very enjoyable and the sort of thing people weren't going to get on TV. 

ER: Also as part of my 1998 rewatch, I have become a much bigger fan of Billy Gunn than ever before. Did I contribute to the not-long-ago Billy Gunn discourse online? I sure did. I don't know why we didn't give him credit for what he was doing in '98 while it was happening, but damn has his work aged well. This man is a true stooge who is incredible at setting up opponents and taking a lot of damage. All of that is on display here, and all of it plays perfectly off Cactus. Gunn is the best part of the brawl on the floor, the way he hits the ring steps for max volume, the way he flops around on all his bumps and the way he and Cactus get so dirty after a suplex. Why is the floor of the Arrowhead Pond so damn filthy!? Was this a cowboy bar on days the Ducks weren't playing and they needed to fill the arena with sawdust? Gunn and Cactus get so covered in dust that they look like they're on a crew who hauls asbestos out of office buildings. 

Gunn is the perfect foil for all of Cactus's offense, from the violent to the absurd. He leans into Jack's best punches and holds firm to take a running knee in the corner. He gets tossed through a table in the corner and later takes a hard whip into the table he broke. But he is at his best getting over through absurdity, and that is on full display when he gets his balls salad tonged by Cactus and the crowd loses their damn minds for it. Gunn lays Cactus out with a chair and lays the chair over his face, setting up a fistdrop off the middle buckle - he even kisses his fist, which is some expert fistdrop knowledge from a guy who I've never see do a fistdrop before - that is of course reversed when Cactus raises the chair to meet Billy. Gunn's running in place face flop to sell the absurdity was divine. His two big pieces of offense looked great, snapping off a piledriver with real torque and sticking the not-yet-named Fameasser when Cactus ducks his head. For the finish, I loved Billy's kickout attempt after taking the double arm DDT on a chair. No life in the legs, no chance of kickout, but a visual attempt to roll his shoulder up at 3 that didn't take away from any of the violent and/or silly damage he took. 

Mark Mero vs. Chainz

MD: No idea how they thought this was going to work. The only babyface out there was Sable (and someone was whistling for her the whole match). Mero's entrance was over with all the lights and Sable was very over in general, getting her own chant as the match started. Mero played to the crowd, especially when it came to her. Chainz was just there, a de facto babyface who didn't get a shine (he tossed Mero out right at the start). Mero's shots and knees and what not looked good, but no one wanted to see Chainz work up from a chinlock (even being choked by wrist tape). He had a brief comeback but missed a Bombs Away kneedrop and ate the TKO. Probably good to see the state of the Mero/Sable act in a setting like this but this was doomed from the start.

ER: Chainz was definitely the babyface here, he was just the least defined character of the DOA. Part of this was because he didn't have a nazi twin, part of it was having a Z in his name like he was a member of the Burger King Kids Club. But he was a babyface at this point of 1998, even if that was mostly because DOA were in a regular feud with the Nation and WWF crowds were definitely going to be in the corner of DOA for reasons beyond face/heel alignment. Would a heel have the kind of shiny, lustrous hair that Chainz had? 

I thought the match worked really well with Chainz as babyface, throwing strong punches that Mero took like a great overpowered heel. I was also surprised at how fast Mero bumped to the floor when Chainz threw him through the ropes. Both men bump real well for the other. Mero goes down hard for a shoulderblock and clothesline, Chainz takes a shockingly cool bump when Mero snaps his neck over the ropes. He took it the exact same way Jimmy Hart took his apron bumps, and bumping was an underrated part of Chainz' game. Yes, I realize while typing that that every part of Chainz' game was underrated, because there isn't a person reading this who can clearly picture their favorite WWF Chainz moments. What did Chainz use as a finisher? I can't ever recall him winning a match during this run. But in the couple months around WrestleMania this year, he seemed like a guy who was trying for the last time to be noticed. We're not counting that weird stretch in TNA where he was losing 10 pounds a week until he was all teeth and jawbone and his hair started suffering from vitamin deficiency, I mean that he was trying to stand out to someone in WWF who might notice. 

Go watch how much Chainz puts himself out there in the DOA vs. DX vs. Boricuas chain match angle from Raw 4/13/98 (I fully understand if you do not do this) and it was clear he was trying to be noticed by someone. Was it me? Was it me, Chainz, noticing you 25 years after the fact? I love what you did against Marc Mero, Chainz. I loved your missed kneedrop off the middle buckle, and loved you leaning in to take Mero's kneelift to the side of the head rather than to your breadbasket. Nobody else took Mero's kneelift this way, only you Chainz. And it looked really good! I am a noticer, always noticing things. Your effort was true. 

Steve Austin vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley 

MD: I haven't actually written out the word "Helmsley" in a very long time. It still has a red underline under it. I'm not going back to check. Let me dump in some of the personal stuff here actually. I didn't watch a hell of a lot of wrestling from ~93-98. I remember seeing Hogan turn on scramblevision. Mania XIV was in Boston (I lived in a suburb) so with the public workout and everything, people were buzzing about it at High School and that's when I more or less got back into it, right around here.

That said, I don't go back to 98 WWF much. If we had more house shows, maybe it'd be different. What I have seen tends to be C-Shows. So I haven't seen these guys from this particular year in a long time. And it's fascinating just to see Austin move. I'm more used to the Austin of a couple of years earlier or a couple of years later, but here he was a superstar just ready to get the belt and carry the company. He conducted the crowd and fed off of them. It was a house show. The act hadn't quite calcified yet. So he was a little looser but it didn't feel pandering in any way. 

What I'll say about Hunter here is that he was very giving. His character didn't earn a single thing. He got everything through cheating or Chyna or chance. I imagine it wouldn't have carried through quite as well if TV cameras were on but he let himself be genuinely vulnerable in a way that, after a certain point, he never did genuinely again. And he came off as a better, more effective heel because of it. 

Early on they did a couple of hammerlock bits which were very good. Great back elbow and fun punch out of them. That's probably what I will remember out of this as much as anything else. Austin had to fight his way back from some legwork, but he did. The finish was wonky, overthought. Even vulnerable Hunter is still Hunter. It did six or seven things (too complicated a set up for the comeback with a double down that wasn't really needed, shrugging of the stunner the first time, a ref bump, Chyna, etc.) when one or two would have hit so much better. Still, the good in here was quite good.

ER: Man, I loved this. I loved this. I thought it was great. Austin was flat out incredible and constant motion towards something More, while HHH turned in what might be his best performance of the year. I have seen enough Austin/HHH matches and don't think they always work well as opponents, primarily because of HHH, but this was tremendous and a perfect use of time. If you dare, go ahead and check out their brutally long match a few weeks later from Mayhem in Manchester, and you can see a HHH with no idea how to treat a match against Austin. Here? Like night and day, roles defined perfectly and not a single wasted movement by either. HHH was not attempting to work cool heel, he was just feeding and setting things up for Austin to knock down, which he did spectacularly. The work over Austin's perpetually injured knee/s was interesting, and the ways Austin moved around that knee work was amazing. It's crazy how active Austin was in this era. 

For a guy who would eventually be surrounded by go go go wrestlers, it's wild how much he went went went without making his actual work feel empty and forgotten. It's funny whenever I see Austin talked about as a guy who "didn't do much" in the ring. Maybe that's referring to his "small moveset" (silly) but I watch the guy and see someone who is constantly doing something. Austin is a very active wrestler and this 12 minute and change format is perfect for him to craft this active, cool story. I loved every beat of this. When Hunter was getting his ass kicked, he was actually getting his ass kicked. This was not a self-service stooge performance from Hunter, he wasn't yet at the time where he was "showing people he could work down" he was just the heel taking a beating. Early, Austin rocks him so good with a back elbow to break a hammerlock that I had to rewind it a few times, both to see the elbow and to see the actual anger in Hunter's face. That's how a heel should look when a tough babyface elbows him in his big nose. And, while it didn't smash Hunter's nose, Austin's falling elbow is one of the greatest pieces of offense in wrestling history. What an incredible magic trick. This wife beating beer drinking Texas rattlesnake also figured out how to work an incredibly dangerous elbow, pointed directly at someone's throat and never showing a sliver of light, in a way that looks like he's collapsing a man's trachea. The trust he built with that elbow is incredible, and earned. 

When things settle down into Hunter working the knee, I loved the way Austin would stay in the match while selling, never settling into a long Hunter control sequence (because Austin rightly understood that Hunter has next to no ideas how to control things for that long), which fits perfectly into Austin's style. He is a fighter, a man who wants to constantly advance and who will keep after you after losing a limb, and that's how he sells the leg. There is an incredible spot, my personal favorite moment on this show, where Austin misses a clothesline and falls forward into the ropes, recovering in time for Hunter to kick him straight in the knee. The way Austin missed this clothesline pays such perfect attention to detail, every frame looking like a man who threw to connect, falling into the ropes because your missed momentum carried you there. His fall into the ropes looked like a man who hadn't considered he would ever miss that clothesline. Only the top 0.1% of wrestlers can miss offense with that kind of conviction. 

Chyna's involvement was the perfect amount as well, as her presence was always acknowledged while her threats were mostly implied. When she finally elbow smashes Austin from the floor it played as one of the best moments of an already excellent match. When she finally gets in the ring for the finish, the crowd was rabid for any kind of involvement from her. The way they played Chyna's first year in the company was an incredible use of restraint, totally unimaginable today. Austin's greatest feat in this match is actually making Hunter's goof ass Flair/Race cosplay bumps mean something other than "now is the time Hunter can show that he has watched several Flair/Race matches". His rolling upside down bump in the corner is almost always shoehorned into a match, but here felt like the best possible use and execution, adding an off the rails feel to Austin's comeback fire. 

I honestly don't think I could name 10 better matches in 1998 WWF. If these house shows keep coming, maybe eventually we'll be able to name 20 better. 

Godwinns vs. DoA [Country Whipping]

MD: Three minutes. The fans didn't really care at all until a couple of hard Godwinn shots in the ring towards the end. I was off thinking why they didn't get a couple more hillbillies (Moondog Splat was still active in 97?) and have them as part of the whole gang wars thing. And then I blinked and there was a slop drop and the thing was over. On some level this was kind of Death Valley Days coded. Just guys whipping the hell out of each other for three minutes and going home. If Phil, Matt and Eric booked this though, it'd have way more emotional resonance. 

ER: This was only two minutes long and a mostly useless two minutes, all likely for a very good reason. When you have Nazi Bikers taking on Confederacy Nostalgists it is only a matter of time before they come to some real Can't We All Just Get Along conclusions. Why are we lightly whipping each other for two minutes? We all collectively, the four of us, hate blacks, so why are we fighting each other? Henry and Skull have a moment of understanding that they're wasting their own energy fighting those with the same goals, so they agree to a lazily set up Slop Drop and clear the ring so a full crew of tough black dudes can do something more productive. 

Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

MD: Sort of a tale of two matches here. Shamrock looked great early, charging right in and having a lot of dynamic offense. Rocky fed and fed and fed and he did a great job with it. Some distraction from the outside let Rocky take over and it was a little off to me, a little rough around the edges. He didn't register some of Shamrock's stuff in the hope spots. That sort of thing. They did another ref bump here, but it was a nice one with a ducked clothesline. Then the rest of the Nation got involved and everything fell apart. It looked like Rocky was going to sneak away with a win after a D-Lo chairshot but another ref ran out and the Nation swarmed in. DQ win for Shamrock with the fans getting at least one big moment as he hit the Belly to Belly on Henry after a heated face off. 

Headbangers vs. Quebecers

MD: I had high hopes for this one, and it seemed like they'd be personified in Jacques' look. It was pretty amazing. Quebecers had the blue gear here, but Jacques had his hair pulled back tight, which made him looking like the hairline was really receding, with an almost fluffy ponytail, and a baldspot in the middle. Amazing stuff.

There was nothing wrong with this match really, but I wanted more elaboration in the early stooging. Pierre bumped all over the place, but I needed a bit more pluck and comeuppance from Jacques. It's a house show. Do all the bits. They did barely any of the bits. There'd be more bits on a 1989 Rougeaus TV squash. So I was a little disappointed there. I did like the finish where one Headbanger leapfrogged over the other to avoid a whip into one another, only to run right into Quebecers clotheslines. That set up the Quebecers going for their finisher, it getting broken up and the Headbangers hitting theirs. I needed this to have 600% more bullshit and I'm not sure why it didn't.

Undertaker vs. TAFKA Goldust

MD: There were elements to the initial Goldust character which pushed things in clever, if not entirely subtle ways. I don't think much of that was in this incarnation. It was all trying too hard and so little of it landed. Dustin wasn't at his physical best here but he still bumped all over the place for Taker and had his usual timing. Another distraction transition, this time with Taker choking Luna. I liked the comeback though as Taker hit a flurry of punches to the gut like he was playing Punch Out! Then the lights went off and the place went more nuts for Kane than they did for any of the matches. You wonder about the mic-ing with the cameras as they are for most of this, but when the place explodes for something like that it really does make you feel like they've just been quiet for most of the wrestling. I kind of liked Taker's punch exchange on Kane too. Weirdly, the ref didn't call for the DQ even though it would have made total sense (it wasn't a ball control thing either; Kane was getting shots in). But they wanted to send the fans home happy with a "clean" win after the Tombstone I guess and they couldn't do yet another ref bump. 

I'm going to chalk this off as a dubiously agented show. There were good things, but past the Christopher match, which they still might have gotten pre-show, just at half the length, and the Cactus Jack match which they wouldn't be getting anywhere else save maybe PPV (at least until the Hardcore division started up), I don't think it was all that much of a stronger experience than you would have gotten from a Raw of this era, and as a house show, it really should have been.

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Loosely Formed Thoughts on WWF Over the Edge 5/31/98

The Propaganda-style intro to this PPV is fucking insane. It's all World War II footage of tanks and soldiers and fucking Stalin and Mussolini and actual Nazi footage and it's all interspersed with They Live CONFORM and OBEY block fonts but also video of Stone Cold doing shit like turkey tapping Vince from several angles. Best possible start. 

 

1. LOD 2000 vs. DOA

It actually feels impossible that LOD 2000 didn't become the biggest tag team of the rest of the decade with Sunny as their manager. I don't think I'm being overly horny here either. I don't think the fact that Sunny looked like this while I was 17 years old matters here, as I don't think this is a matter of bias. I think I'm being a very reasonable and appropriate level of horny in a way that the eyes of history agree with. 

This is Hawk and Animal vs. 8-Ball and Skull but Droz and Chainz are there. Up above I only wrote "LOD 2000 vs. DOA" and I didn't want anyone to get confused about what members of each group of friends was actively involved here. 

Skull throws a nice ugly big man swinging neck beaker and an actual good legdrop. It does not bring me great joy that 8-Ball and Skull's work from '98 is probably better than we assessed at the time. 

Animal is in strong style mode and does a dragon screw and I don't think I've seen that from him before or since. How much of his BattlArts work is available? 

8-Ball vs. Hawk is better than Skull vs. Animal. They did more punching and elbowdrops and an ugly piledriver that Hawk gets to ignore completely because that is Hawk's spot. 

Hawk has a way of looking off balance while also having this incredible balance and sturdiness on all of his clotheslines. He looks wobbly, but takes this incredible bump all the way across the ring off a missed top rope shoulderblock, flying out of the ring into an almost Halloween style sliding bump to the floor. Hard. I liked Drunk Hawk when I was a teenager but I don't think it was because I thought he was GOOD good. Accidentally, time has only proven me right. Further proof of how good he still was on fumes in '98: the 1-2 punch of his  neckbreaker -> fistdrop combo. 

The 8-Ball/Hawk punch exchange is good and should have gone three times as long. It's worth it for Chainz punching Hawk in the balls from the floor in a way that didn't even seem planned. Cameras weren't focused on it. You can see Chainz pop him in the nuts from the floor and Hawk reacts like a guy who just realized he got tapped hard enough in the balls to react. 

Nobody quite knew how to get to the finish, but Animal clotheslining his way through a hot tag and hitting a great powerslam for the finish plays well with any lead up. 

There is a Faarooq! Faarooq! Faarooq is on Fire!! sign and folks, that's a good one. 

2. Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve Blackman

Fuck I hope Steve Blackman tries a piledriver here but I have a parlay on Jarrett doing one. You see, in between matches backstage, Faarooq hit The Rock with the Piledriver To Beat tonight. We're 20 minutes into this show and we've had two piledrivers and we still have over 2.5 hours to go.  

Blackman is really fun to watch during this stretch. We don't get Reformed Musclehead Karate Guys Working Every Pro Wrestling Spot He's Ever Seen anymore. Blackman doing a baseball slide dropkick to start but then press slamming Jarrett back into the ring but also doing Ricky Steamboat double chops but also looking lost and kind of dangerous is just lightning in a bottle. I think he would get a lot less interesting the more he learned, but this is still in that magic window. 

Blackman hits a thrust kick on the floor that looks like the the most violent version of Chuck Norris kicking Jarrett down the aisle. 

Jarrett does a really good job icing this down the right amount while there's an Al Snow angle taking several minutes too long at ringside. Jarrett works Barry Darsow chatter like "He ain't going nowhere now!" and "Ring the bell he's done!" and is able to do essentially nothing for a few minutes, really well. 

They do a preposterously slow 9 count after Jarrett hits a back suplex. Jarrett had been working over Blackman in a chinlock for a minute so I have no idea why Jarrett was as knocked out as Blackman. I thought they would explode a bit more after the Al Snow angle, you know, to get everyone back involved in things, but they kind of do the opposite for no reason. They've turned the entire rest of the match into "every move keeps both of us down for too long" and it sucks.  

Steve Blackman is at his absolute beautiful best when he is doing moves with full commitment without looking as if he's ever even practiced doing the move before. It's only a detriment if a couple of miscues happen back to back, but has a remarkably high ceiling as a style. His elbowdrop is not thrown like any other wrestler has thrown an elbowdrop. It's like he was born with the knowledge but without memory of where the knowledge came from. He knows it's right, but it's informed by something beyond him. He is not inspired by anyone else who came before. 

Steve Blackman is Backyarder Doug Furnas and we didn't know what we had. We didn't know, and he didn't know how to continue giving that to us. 

3. Loser Leaves WWF: Sable vs. Marc Mero

I'll say it again: Mero and Sable were really great during the first half of '98. Neither ever did it better. Maybe when we get into Jacqueline Era Marc I'll determine that it has aged even better than his Sable Forced Separation arc but I'm not expecting it to be. Honestly Sable and Mero are fucking GREAT together. They really seem like they dislike each other, like their marriage was really already over instead of merely being on the start of a 5 year slide towards being over.  

Marc Mero is so good during this entire segment. "Sable what happened to us? This business ruins relationships... It ruined ours."  

Marc Mero pulling a small package after doing the honorable thing and lying down for Sable, then jumping around the ring in celebration is one of those things my sister will bring up unprovoked 25 years later. 

4. Bradshaw/Taka Michinoku vs. Kai En Tai

Bradshaw press slams Taka into everyone within the first 30 seconds. He's so massive, they look like Lilliputians wearing Miller's Outpost jean shorts. 

I remember this being a lot better, with a lot more heat. Crowd really isn't as into it as I remember. I'm not into it as much as I remember. The Kai En Tai stuff doesn't read as fluid or unique today. There are a lot more seams with 2024 eyes. Bradshaw is not actually reckless at all. Did we all have false implanted rose colored memories of Bradshaw recklessly fucking up everyone in the match or was that just me? This Wisconsin crowd doesn't understand a single fucking part of it. Arms are crossed in Milwaukee, politely not understanding any of Dick Togo's excellent senton variations. 

Jim Ross makes an extended Gulliver's Travels reference and then explains it and I feel like a stupid asshole who's only read three books in my life out here making the same similes as Jim Ross. JR and I each watched the Ted Danson Gulliver's Travels Two Night Television Event in 1996 and now we use it to describe pro wrestling when big man fights small men.   

Okay it gets good when Bradshaw finally tags in and that's when he starts throwing them around. It's still never unprofessional in the ways I remember it being. In fact, Bradshaw was actually a good sport believably taking Kai En Tai's offense, leaning into dropkicks and struggling really well while the Lilliputians tethered his legs with rope. He does polish Funaki with a clothesline and choose Teioh as his Only True Victim by throwing him - really throwing him - with a tiger suplex, but you could watch this match and have no actual idea that Bradshaw is a miserable prick.  

5. Faarooq vs. The Rock

I think Faarooq looked like a real badass (before the match started). This match was the best his Faarooq gear ever looked on him. Fuck how cool would Jacqueline have looked in Faarooq's exact gear? Faarooq looks like a lean cut Masa Saito, or the most bulked up Bernie Casey. He looks perfect, in other words. He looks like a guy really giving a beating to a guy he dislikes. A beating he's been waiting to hand out. His sparsely African-patterned gear looked great with the straps up, and even better when he takes the straps down. Someone who's good with computers, put Jacqueline in Faarooq's gear. 

I hate how guys like MJF or Austin Theory or Ricky Starks move like 1998 The Rock. It sucks. They all flop the same and walk around with their butts out the same and it's all theater kids goofing around doing People's Elbows. The Butt Out Walk must be the first thing they teach at Brahma School. 

I don't know why the crowd isn't more excited for Faarooq dishing out a beating. The Rock wore a big neck brace after Faarooq piledrove him earlier and takes a fun beating, and that combination of things deserved a reaction. His elbows on the apron looked good, Rock is acting like a real punk doofus, yet nobody cares. 

Real flat finish. This feud never had a chance. There was a weird 3 count that got a silent reaction and the camera shot it in a way where you couldn't see Rock's foot on the rope. This whole thing was only 5 minutes and felt really incomplete. Blackman/Jarrett got twice as much time without even being based around an actual feud, so this whole thing was just set up to fail.  

When DX runs in after the match to ambush The Nation they look like the 4 Horsemen of Rape.

6. Vader vs. Kane

Vader was getting real reactions in 1998. There was a powerful machine working against 1998 Vader. He does the Vader flex, he flashes the V's, a ton of fans have Vader signs. The People believed in Vader in 98 and the people in charge didn't want them to. Vader was done wrong. We all know it. The man was 43 years old, which is not an old age at all. I know this because it is my age and how could I possibly be old? I understand why they instinctively didn't want to get behind a 43 year old Vader, but you see things a couple decades removed from the original context and you realize just how mammoth a star Vader would have been in WWF had they just treated him the same way they treat Nakamura at the same age. 

Kane's punches were better in 1998 - better, not good - but his straight rights are not good. There is a reason he never threw them for most of the rest of his career. They have no weight behind them. His uppercuts don't look good either. He threw a bigger variety of punches then, not just uppercuts, and their form is good but the weight is absent. Kane's strikes look shittier the longer the match goes. He would go on to phase all of these punches out other than the uppercut.  

Vader's offense looks good against a big guy like Kane. His bear attack runs him over, but he smartly did one bear attack that stunned Kane, then a second bigger one that flattened him. Nobody was flattening Kane in 1998. Vader knew we build to that. "Vader using his mass now" fuck yeah he is JR. 

This match should be getting a bigger reaction. Vader is making this look like a big fight. He's swinging arms into all sides of Kane's head, even throwing them to the back of his head. Kane is in retreat! Vader sent Kane into retreat which is a thing that has never happened and nobody is reacting to it. Nobody is reacting to these beefy arms and it doesn't make sense. Nobody thinks it's cool that Kane scoop slammed Vader? Vader is a really big guy to take a scoop slam! He lands completely differently than you've seen because you just don't see 400 pound men getting slammed. 

This has not been a night of good matches, which often hurts a crowd, but I don't know why this crowd was not reacting to this match as if it was not Good or Big. It was both, but the crowd reacting so indifferently and Kane just not being that good limited how good it could get. 

I don't know why I haven't mentioned how ridiculous the mask stipulation is but it really didn't need to happen. It didn't make anyone care more about the match than they would have. Vader getting real red-faced revenge would have been cooler. A match built around "first to grab and use the large comical wrench" would have been cooler, probably.  

Kane's top rope clothesline is the softest contact Signature Clothesline of the modern era. It's a terrible clothesline and it never got better. It was only ever good if used in No Mercy. His running clothesline, which he stopped using, looked like a clothesline that would run Vader over and is the loudest contact of the match. 

Vader bumps to get Kane over but they react more to Vader on the attack than Vader bumping around. If Kane had the energy of Bradshaw it could have been a real fight, but Vader has to create his own energy off Kane's Lesser Jason Voorhees body acting. Vader knows how to build a reaction when going for the Vader Bomb, and he knows how to peak it by pausing briefly on the middle buckle before deciding to climb to the top, Milwaukee swelling as he leaves his feet and deflating when he crash lands. The Vader moonsault is a flat out insane and incredible spot for a man his age and size to be using. Vader understood PPV and They resented him for it. This man got up for a goddamn Tombstone and yep, it looks cool as hell when a guy the size of Vader is Tombstoned. 

I don't actually know how I feel about Vader calling himself a fat piece of shit. I think it's a raw promo, and his delivery is note perfect. I guess the problem is that I don't think they ever did anything other than kind of reflect on how sad it was that Vader called himself a fat piece of shit. I don't know if we needed to see vulnerable, sensitive Vader but I do think it was so memorable because of how real it was delivered. We've all been down on ourselves in our lives. A lot sometimes, for any little thing. Vader felt real, and maybe we didn't need Real Vader. Maybe, if it led to something of substance, a renewed energy and fight, it would have allowed people to reflect on themselves when they get too down on themselves. I don't think WWF was or is capable of writing that kind of character. Whatever. It felt like actual, real frustration, the kind we all go through. We don't get that kind of insight into athletes. They're insulated. Taught what not to say to the media. Me, personally? I do not think Vader is a fat piece of shit, but I believed in that moment that he did, and that's affecting. 

I forgot this was the PPV they did that weird Lawler/Crusher/Mad Dog Vachon angle. The Crusher, in his early 70s, kept looking cooler the more undressed he got during his segment with Lawler and Mad Dog Vachon. He looked cool the entire time and got a great big reaction from Milwaukee. He looked like such a badass grandpa in his brown Wrangler Wranchers throwing his bolo punches. This was such a weird thing for WWF to do. They had already used Mad Dog's wooden leg in a match and the idea of WWF honoring a local hero who had nothing to do with them is such a non-Vince move. 

7. HHH/New Age Outlaws vs. D-Lo Brown/Owen Hart/The Godfather 

If your friend had never watched WWF programming before, you could convince them pretty easily that Owen Hart was working some kind of hacker gimmick in his caution tape singlet and, well, hacker sunglasses. 

Owen tags in and runs straight into a Billy Gunn clothesline, Gunn punches and press slams him, Gunn goes up for a backdrop for him, really two of the only guys trying to make this work.

Helmsley's running jumping knee and his tilt a whirl backbreaker (!?) looked good. He always really looked like he enjoyed working Owen. 

Why was the Billy Gunn/Godfather pairing so good in this? They worked kind of fast against each other, and Godfather looked like he was throwing his kicks and missed clotheslines with different pep.

New Age Outlaws working over D-Lo is really good too, though not as good whenever HHH tags in. It's wild how much HHH really kills all the pacing and vibe of this match any time he's involved.

More Owen Sucks chants than I remember but his perfect piledriver to Road Dogg brings no reaction at all. Philistines. 

This match is going a lot longer than anyone could have reasonably expected. The fans get real restless whenever anyone considers doing any kind of hold. This thing is dying the longer they go, nobody is doing anything to bring it back to life even if a lot of the work looks good. It's crazy how bad HHH makes the DX act in-ring. He is actively hurting their vibe and wrestling image. 

8. Steve Austin vs. Dude Love 

Pat Patterson is so fucking funny introducing Gerald Brisco as the guest timekeeper. He has his readers on and a stack of at least a dozen 3x5 cards. He actually said that Gerald Brisco's heart "beats like the tom tom drum on the reservation, like the Heartbeat of America." I mean whoever wrote that line was onto something next level. "Some call him the reincarnation of Jim Thorpe. We call him...A Friend." This is incredible. I did not appreciate how amazing his intro was when I watched this as a teen. All my friends and I just wanted to see Austin beat everyone's ass. 

Vince looks like an impossibly hulked up Robert Carradine. A real geek, and a real freak in his flap pocket black chinos and sleeveless ref shirt. Incredible posture, but a freakish build sculpted onto that wealthy flawed Connecticut skeleton and Kennedy hair. He has a million facial reactions and it's incredible how good literally every one of them are. It's a real Gotta Hand it To. 

Foley sells a back elbow like Austin really spiked him in the nose, running himself into the ground like Terry Funk but more real. The longer the match goes, the more I know that each man was really taking these shots. I just didn't realize they were roughing each other up from go. 

Foley takes such a great bump on a clothesline to the floor. Austin really timed it well and collided with him well, but Foley went over so fast, in that way that Foley sometimes does where you don't know how controlled it actually is. Man would just throw his body to the floor with more speed than he used for anything else. Shouldn't really be a shock anymore that Foley took some crazy bumps, but his heavy lower half really whips him over the ropes. Nobody else has really been able to duplicate that. 

Austin throws Foley onto Brisco and then stomps on them both and punches Foley in the back of the head too many times before clotheslining him ass over elbow onto concrete over the guardrail. I probably haven't watched this match since the early 2000s (I bought the Over the Edge VHS from a video store in Healdsburg that was going out of business) and remember it being built around tons of bumps onto concrete, and that is exactly what it is, and they keep escalating. 

Austin taking a backdrop onto the hood of a fucked up old style Honda Civic, boot going through the windshield 20 years before Zona 23. Is Zona 23:16 anything? Austin gets thrown onto and over a tilted old Mercury and Foley sunset flips him off that Mercury's hood, it's awesome. Foley's body makes a wet splat as his weird torso and wide butt land perfectly flat. It's a sound you never hear and Foley has made it like three times in this match alone. 

Austin is bleeding and is always an incredible looking bleeder. The blood doesn't keep up but the initial color is strong. When he bleeds he always gets the best deep red color on his tanned bald head. For a match built around big bumps on concrete I forgot how many hard back bumps Austin takes onto concrete in this match. My man is out here taking backdrops and suplexes in parts of the entrance that at least 7,000 people can't even see. It's insane. This man broke his damn neck 10 months ago and he's bumping on concrete for himself. 

Also, Steve Austin is great because he manages to bounce a chair off the ropes and into his own face and makes it look like a complete accident. It's a spot that a lot of men have tried and few have made work well. I think there needs to be a level of alcoholism involved to make it work. Sandman was good at it too. 

Pat Patterson throws such a punch into Mike Chioda's lower orbital bone. There's no way any of these Patterson/Briscoe matches from 1999 are any good but damn they should have been using Patterson in more physical roles this whole time. He takes one of the best chokeslams of the year through a damn table. This is a man pushing 60 who retired four presidents ago and hasn't done physical stuff on screen since the mid 80s. How did he even prepare to take this? How did Vince psych himself up to get brained with a pre-Chris Nowinski research chairshot? No idea. 

I don't know how well this holds up as an All Time Great Brawl, but it's differently great for its big stunt show feel and old man bullshit that was at the center of a fight. It was messier than I remembered and was more about getting to specific areas and moments, but this is still a standout 1998 WWF match and surely the best WWF match of the year to this point.   

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The Unheralded Two Minute Long 1998 WWF Chain Match

Savio Vega/Jose Estrada vs. 8-Ball/Skull WWF Raw 4/13/98

ER: WWF was not a Chain Match fed. I don't think they even ran any chain matches during the Hardcore Title era, and before this two minute long match that was much more Great Segment than Actual Match, they hadn't run any chain matches since Hercules or Ivan Koloff had been there. But in 1998 they had Puerto Ricans and Nazi Bikers and it's actually shocking that this is the only chain match the promotion had during that run. But again, this is not so much a match, as it is a great way to have nine guys fighting onscreen at one time. Savio is fighting Skull, Estrada is fighting 8-Ball, Savio swings his chain past Skull's ear into the ring steps, and from there they all have chain-wrapped fists as they brawl to the void as more and more people get involved in a bigger and bigger fight. 

WWF has had putrid, at times unwatchable camera work for the last 20 years, a product filmed and directed by people who don't know how to film or direct pro wrestling. Watch any game from any major sport in 1998, and you will be blown away by how many advancements have been made in filming each of them. All of them have made net positive gains in the way they are presented and shot. Pro wrestling is somehow the only athletic event where every part of the presentation has devolved. This is a segment that shows how well they were able to film and direct a lot of moving parts while always showing every part of the chaos that was happening. While two cool Puerto Ricans punch two Nazis in the face, DX comes out and at once begin to beat Chainz' ass. I am not sure where Jesus Castillo or Miguel Perez were on this night, but Chainz is the only man to accompany his boys, and he is quickly swarmed by DX. 

The cameras perfectly frame the assault on Chainz in the foreground while chains fly in the ring in the background. Billy Gunn and Chainz throw punches at each other's crowns until Chainz takes a chair to the back, and then the chain fight in the back fades out as we close in on Chainz taking just an unnecessarily brutal beating. X-Pac gives him an unprotected chair shot to the head, he takes an even harder shot to the back, HHH gives him a Pedigree on the chair, and the man gets dragged to the entrance ramp to take a spike piledriver on another fucking chair. The Chainz Stretcher Job. DOA and Los Boricuas are all throwing close quarter punches at each other's heads while the chains whip around everywhere, oblivious to the Chainz massacre. 

With Chainz left for dead the assailants spill into the ring and the filming of the action shifts, as DX now joins Savio and Estrada as true heroes unmercifully stomping the Nazis while Chainz is framed perfectly in the background, slowly dragging himself up the ramp like he's futilely crawling away from Leatherface. X-Pac is stomping and choking the hell out of Skull while literally screaming in his face, Estrada is dropping Hitman elbows on 8-Ball, Billy Gunn wraps his fist in a chain and does a fucking chain wrapped fistdrop and it's one of many things that make Billy Gunn perhaps the highest Stock Rising guy of 1998. When the Nazis are lying in their own filth, Chyna finally gets involved and uppercuts Both Boricuas in the Balls. 

This whole segment was one of the only times DX actually came off like full heel total assholes who weren't trying to be cool. There was no preening to the crowd, nothing was done to come off likable, every part of their time on screen was spent fighting. They were dominant but in a real Taking Liberties Because They're Bad People kind of way. They started by jumping one guy 4 on 1 and giving him a ringside beating that stood out as noticeably stiffer than any prior DX angles, then went 6 on 2 to beat up that guy's friends (technically Nazis so that is them being good guys), then went 5 on 2 to take out the two guys who had just helped them out. Real assholes with no redeeming qualities, filmed by a production crew who knew how to highlight everything that made them assholes. 

Not 10 minutes later Mark Henry, The Rock, D-Lo, and Kama have a crazy pull apart with Faarooq, Steve Blackman, Ken Shamrock, and various security guys like Sgt. Slaughter and Tony Garea. This has to be the only Mark Henry/Sgt. Slaughter interaction we've ever seen. 

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Loosely Formed Statements on WWF's No Way Out of Texas 2/15/98

 

1. Marc Mero/Goldust vs. The Head Bangers

Marc Mero is a 1998 Rising Stock. Always on. Endless energy. 

Marc Mero's high back elbow and precise elbowdrop. Stocking Rising. 

Marc Mero's ass over crown bump to the floor for a Mosh lariat. Heat Seeker. 

Goldust working dropdowns and leapfrogs and a high backdrop bump in black lingerie. Picturing him working 2000s AAA. 

Marc Mero draws real heat. His bumps for Thrasher's shoulderblocks are real. Online Mero Discourse will swell. 

We get real blood 10 minutes into No Way Out of Texas. Thrasher takes a real manly bump when Goldust snake eyes him onto the ring steps. Blood spidering down his face. Match at a new level. 

Mero - the worker of 1998 WWF - immediately targets the cut whenever he is in, including stomping Thrasher all over the cut to spread the blood. 

We'll see if any chant will be louder during any other match than this MERO SUCKS chants. Scotching heat in February. That's before he unwraps some wrist tape and chokes Thrasher until the tape is red, and then the chants resume. 

Mosh has four sincerely great punches on his hot tag. 

2. Pantera vs. Taka Michinoku

Pantera has the greatest offense. Multiple rolling armdrags, THAT running swanton to the floor, a tricked out headscissors that felt more World of Sport than lucha, and a fast flipping bump to the floor. 

Taka's springboard plancha flies 4 feet past the guardrail into the entrance.

Pantera's rolling headscissors from the top rope to the apron is in the discussion of Greatest Headscissors in History. The tope diagonally past the ringpost was triumphant garnish. 

Well Brian Christopher called Taka Michinoku "slant eyed" on commentary. Jesus. 

Cools down a bit when Pantera is working over Taka's back, but I like it. 

The cooldown burst into flames when Taka took one of the highest bumps over the top to the floor that I've ever seen, moments before Pantera leapt over the top rope with his running senton, the most incredible move on 1998 wrestling TV. 

The cool back work stretch is paid off many times over when Pantera fills every bit of space with elbowdrops aimed with precision at Taka's lower back, and two different backbreakers that looked...backbreaking. 

Pantera pulls off an effortlessly accurate top rope moonsault, the way I might take a bite out of a sandwich, then snaps off a hurricanrana with both of them jumping off the top rope just as easily. 

Brian Christopher was a...real presence...on commentary. The entire match. You have never heard louder slurs on commentary. 

3. The Quebecers vs. The Godwinns

I'm not sure why they even brought in the Quebecers in 1998. They brought them back to Raw with no re-introduction, just the two of them wearing the blandest and worst gear of their respective careers. Still a good team, but out of place and oddly presented. 

Rougeau keeps ducking Phineas's lock ups and then yells "How about those Canadians, eh?" to the crowd like a prick. 

Jacques is out here getting mowed over by shoulderblocks, and when Pierre tags in he starts working wristlock exchanges with Henry. It's kind of silly, but those big boys did really yank the hell out of those arms. 

Phineas works really vicious with Jacques. He hits a full on Glacier front kick into Jacques's stomach and tries to pull his arm off with a single arm DDT. 

Henry drops his head and Jacques kicks him hard right across the chest. Pierre is the only guy not throwing leather so far. 

They're working this as a classic WWF heel in peril match, the crowd completely silent as the Godwinns cut Jacques off from Pierre. For some reason, the fans do not cheer for Rougeau's sunset flip nearfall, and I have no idea what crowd reaction they were expecting when Henry held Jacques in a chinlock that could only build to Jacques fighting back to his feet. 

The match is actually really good but the role reversal fucks everything up. 

The fans do not want to see Jacques make a hot tag to Pierre. The cannonball that they hit is not triumphant. 

Jacques hits a pretty crazy plancha off the top to the floor, crashing into Henry. 

Everything was completely backward and the crowd was icy but it was a good tag if you pretend it was in Montreal with a poorly mic'd crowd. 

4. Bradshaw vs. Jeff Jarrett 

Say what you will about Cornette being given a dead in the water idea, but I loved the short-lived NWA stable. What a bunch of weirdos. Windham, the Rock n Rolls, and Jeff Jarrett with my favorite gear and hair of his career. Robert Gibson is wearing a duster with county fair sweatshirt art of him and Ricky on the back. 

The opening is really well worked, just Bradshaw swinging arms and chaps and boots at Jarrett and Jarrett taking all of it. I loved when Bradshaw ducked down and Jarrett finally landed something, a stiff kick to Bradshaw's chest, and Bradshaw just straightened up and booted Jarrett in the face. 

It's funny when they exchange strikes, as Jarrett is doing these nice worked right hands but Bradshaw is just hauling back and smashing Jarrett with the edge of his elbow. 

I appreciate JR pushing the story that Jarrett knew to target Bradshaw's knee because Barry Windham told him about Bradshaw's knee in secret, because I guess it's better than telling the story of Jarrett targeting the two foot long braced kneepad that covers most of Bradshaw's left leg.

All of Jarrett's kicks to Bradshaw's leg look good, but none of it leads to anything. 

This was a lot better when it was Bradshaw laying waste to Jarrett and the NWA. It loses steam once they went into more of a back and forth. 

When the NWA runs out after the match, Robert Gibson takes a really fast, pretty crazy bump to the floor. I have to remind myself that Gibson was only 39 during this run and was really busting his ass. 

5. Faarooq/The Rock/Kama Mustafa/Mark Henry/D-Lo Brown vs. Ken Shamrock/Ahmed Johnson/Chainz/Skull/8-Ball

I remember watching this PPV a couple days after it aired, getting the tape from a friend whose dad had a co-worker who taped the PPVs. Something something the kids will never understand what we went through. If your parents didn't let you actually order PPVs, that's how you got to see a PPV in 1998. 

I remember watching this match before school, and my dad getting actually offended by them clearly running a team of militant black people opposite several white supremacists. My parents already hated pro wrestling because of its stupidity. I don't think my dad had ever even considered that there would be angles with white supremacist good guys. I remember him reading the paper and putting it down, saying "It's VERY clear what they're trying to imply here" and being mad about it. 

This match was set up by The Rock hitting Shamrock in the face with one of the most disgusting chairshots in history. 

Does anyone actually know any differences between Skull and 8-Ball? Is one of them better than the other? Does anyone actually know which one is which? Did they themselves actually keep track of which was Skull and which was 8-Ball? When JR tells me that Skull is in against D-Lo, should I trust him? Should I trust JR to know the separate identities of Skull and 8-Ball, even though this is a War of Attrition match and JR very clearly did not know the definition of "attrition" when Lawler asked him to define it, and JR had to use schoolyard tacts like "*I* know what it is, do you?" until the moment you can tell someone came on the headset and told him the definition. You can tell someone came on, as JR was *floundering* and fucking seething at Lawler for pressing him on this, and after 20 agonizing seconds suddenly JR blurted out 6 synonyms for "attrition". (Skull has a slightly rounder face, FYI)

Shamrock dumps himself on his head doing a Japanese armdrag to D-Lo. 

Chainz drops several fast elbowdrops but I'm not sure if any of them are good. His big boot is better. 

Mark Henry looks like a total badass calling for Ahmed, and the crowd really comes alive when he and Ahmed start wailing on each other. 

D-Lo does a frog splash onto Ahmed's ass and legs, committing to the splash even as it looked like Ahmed was a man not expecting a frog splash. 

It is wild how much smaller Shamrock looks than everyone else in the match. 

Who could possibly give a shit that D-Lo Brown is a Certified Public Accountant, JR? How would that be interesting to any person watching D-Lo Brown in this War of Attrition? Talk about his nice Hitman elbowdrop.

Jesus now JR is talking about The Rock's degrees. JR tanked this match. They're fucking fighting JR, stop talking about everyone's fucking GPA. 

6. Vader vs. Kane

The cameras cut away just as Vader was about to do some V-hand crab dancing and shit this company hasn't known how to film wrestling in 25 years. 

Vader is throwing punches straight at Kane's forehead and then swinging his whole arm into the side of Kane's head. 

Vader gets a rear waistlock and grabs Kane by the hair with his left hand so he can punch Kane in the back of the head a bunch with his right, including one shot from behind that snuck up and under into Kane's temple. 

Kane isn't bad in control, but things are much better whenever it is Vader punching Kane in the head. 

Vader has taken big bumps for clotheslines. 

My dad would have made such a good Paul Bearer, if he was someone who ever dressed up in a costume for any reason (I have never seen my dad in any costume for any reason). My dad is more handsome than Paul Bearer, but the body shape and parted brown hair are too similar. 

Kane does his uppercut but he hadn't learned how to arm slap yet. 

Vader tests just how sturdy Kane's mask is by punching him directly into the face six times until Kane literally responds as if he's being swarmed by bees. 

Kane is wearing some insane Boris Karloff lifts, and whenever Vader rocks him with a standing clothesline you can really see them throwing Kane off balance. 

Does Vader have the best standing splash? It's up there. 

Kane's strikes don't look great, his top rope clothesline doesn't look great, but there's absolutely no denying how awesome it looks seeing Vader get tombstoned. 

7. Savio Vega/HHH/New Age Outlaws vs. Steve Austin/Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie/Owen Hart

Savio Vega sure makes a lot of sense as a kayfabe partner and as a guy who would be able to work this match, but when a teenager hears Mystery Partner and that Mystery is replacing the World Heavyweight Champion, well...

All of the Austin/Gunn exchanges are really great. Gunn scrambling out of the ring to avoid a Stunner, then bashing Austin with the edge of a trash can on the floor, Austin running him the hell over with a clothesline, beating him with 1998 chairshots

Billy Gunn is doing all of Hunter's Flair bumps better than Hunter

Funk is in there taking nothing but damage, beaten by trash cans, getting powerbombed through a pair of chairs, taking a piledriver on a trash can lid, back suplex onto a lid, also threw a trash can into the air and taking the hit when it comes back down.

Billy Gunn has that Paul Koslo weave

Cutting Funk off from everyone else is a cool way to work this 8 man

Austin throws a mashed up trash can so hard at Billy Gunn's head, and again, Gunn bumping for Austin is perfection

Nobody backstage told Savio and Funk that they were wearing the same thing? Both got that big ol dad butt denim 

Owen Hart's best role is running in from the apron to back off DX, and then returning to the apron. He hits a great missile dropkick into Savio and later runs across the ring to hit a big dropkick and take swings at all of them. 

Ending is a bit abrupt, with Austin tagging in, wasting everyone quickly, and then just hitting a Stunner on Road Dogg, but the match was a really fun brawl. 

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Found Footage Friday: WWE in Melbourne, Australia 8/29/04

8/29/04 Full Show


Funaki vs. Rene Dupree

MD: Fun opener that outside for one big German cut off to set up the finish, could have happened almost spot for spot fifteen years before. This followed Teddy Long opening the show by flubbing a half dozen lines, but the fans were happy to see him and to be getting a show in general. Funaki came out with a valet who immediately went to the back and I can't place what was going on there and the internet is no help. Early chain wrestling worked. Lots of little tricks like Dupree pointing to his hair to draw the ref off so he could do a hairpull himself, only to have Funaki hold on to the wristlock. Things like that. Dupree got a knee in off the ropes and took over with things very first match and simple, but the crowd was eager to cheer and especially eager to see Dupree hop around with his trademark comedy bit of the month. That let him get rolled up for a banana peel Funaki win. Simple, straightforward, effective. I think the blog's covered maybe two Rene Dupree matches ever so I have no idea what his 2010s in Japan are like but I'm sort of curious. Regardless, it's hard to tell with a crowd this eager to see wrestling, but he seemed to be over, down to kissing the hand of a woman on the way out and getting a big pop. 

ER: "Tajiri!!" some little kid near the camera yells excitedly. Sorry, that's the other guy. Hopefully the kid doesn't get the exact same letdown during the Kenzo Suzuki match later on. This match is clipped up a bit, but what we got was really good. Rene Dupree was an majorly under-appreciated act in WWE, and would make an interesting project for me to go back through searching for gems. He was a fully formed act in 2004 and you could see that better on house shows than on TV. He knew how to get heat from this crowd, who granted, were excited to give that heat. They're like the perfect crowd for everything Dupree does, and they seem in on the joke without being annoying about it. I am not familiar with Australian sports, so I am also not familiar with the rhythm of Australian wrestling chants, which do not follow the NEMA standard four syllable/five clap timing. 

Dupree has very funny body language and is good at getting reactions with just his movement, or just his posture. When he's flopping in funny ways to sell Funaki's wristlock, falling over himself when Funaki just won't let go, it's like classic Regal. It builds really nicely from wrist control into some tough Dupree offense. He hit a hard shoulderblock, backbreaker, and a knee lift, and he flat out levels Funaki with a hard clothesline after punching mat on a Funaki sunset flip. They took it further than I was expecting, because I was not expecting Dupree to bounce Funaki off his face with a huge release German suplex. And the finish is great, as Dupree saves the French Tickler dance for the very end, giving the crowd exactly what they wanted (somehow the section with our cameraman were the biggest French Tickler fans in Melbourne), and as Dupree is bouncing his bulge for each side of the ring, he falls victim to a Funaki schoolboy. The crowd loved seeing Rene Dupree lose, but most importantly: They loved seeing Rene Dupree. I think Australia might have been right. 

Spike Dudley vs. Rey Mysterio

MD: A lot to like here too. Smart stuff right from the get go where Spike let Rey chase him around the ring so that he could ambush him on the inside, only to get a quick comeuppance and feed for a steady shine. That built to him taking a powder and threatening to leave only to really eat Rey's baseball slide on the way out and catch his flip dive over Charles Robinson, who had tried to stop him from diving a moment before. Real crowd-pleasing stuff. Nice transition where Spike jammed Rey off the ropes causing him to bump stomach first out of the ring. The heat was them working in and out of bodyscissors with the comeback just a foot up by Rey on a leap from the top by Spike. In the stretch it was all about wondering how Rey was going to position him for the 619, and he did manage it after kicking out of an Acid Drop, but by then the Dudleys had come out and one foot grab and roll up later (second roll up in two matches, so that's some iffy agenting), Spike's retained. They did a good job of making it seem like the fans might see a title change for a while there though.

ER: Heel era Spike was really great, and I was so excited to get another singles match from that run, let alone another Rey singles match. The only singles matches they had on TV was Spike's title win and Spike's title loss, so it's cool seeing the literal first singles match after the title win. Spike always had good offense but wasn't always in the role to show that offense. His heel run was his chance to show his bruiser side, the side he probably hadn't played since his Incredibly Strange Wrestling. This was the match I was most excited to see on this handheld, and while it probably wasn't as good as Rene Dupree vs. Funaki, it was still so good. The crowd was into heel Spike, and Spike is a great base for Rey's best. Spike takes a sick bump into the ringpost and later threatens to walk out, then walks back the hard way directly into a Rey baseball slide, then adeptly catches his slingshot senton. Spike is real precise worker on offense and defense, good at catching crossbodies and nailing his flying forearm and torpedo headbutt. His set ups are really strong, and Rey has precision as good or greater than Spike's so it's a super pairing of the two smallest guys on the roster. 

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

MD: I went and watched this. Might as well write it up. They had probably wrestled each other fifty times by this point, right? They had the act down. The fans clapped Torrie up while in the chinlocks but barely reacted at all to her spear and her actual comeback, which is always a sign that something isn't quite right. Korderas brought out a hankerchief for after he got rolled upon during the catfight bit and that was kind of funny, I guess. Prop comedy. They came back and did this exact same match up the following April and I'm vaguely curious to see what that would have looked like. I don't know. This was fine for what it was and Dawn Marie gets a few extra points for her post match selling, even if she lost a few for never leaving her feet on the catapult into the corner. I'd never seen someone take a catapult as an Irish Whip before. Torrie won with a DDT. Something on this card needed a clean finish so I guess this was as good as any.

ER: Maaaaan I think Matt is being a bit of a curmudgeon here. I was actually excited for this one, because Dawn Marie is a really great thing. I became a big fan of Dawn Marie since seeing her at the 1/3/03 WWF Cow Palace card, where she had a standout match on an absolutely stacked show. It was a Bra & Panties match against Gail Kim, where she worked arm based offense to weaken Kim's clothes-ripping abilities. Both women played into the story and it was definitely the most technical match I've seen worked around a Bra & Panties gimmick. Dawn Marie bringing arm work into a match for the sole purpose of delaying the panty payoff is the mark of a brilliant heel worker who knew exactly what she was doing, impossible for me to not be a fan for life. And I think this match a year and a half later was really good, painting the picture of a real strong house show worker. 

Dawn Marie's selling is strong, she throws hard forearms, and works really tight headlocks. She's honest on offense, making good contact and selling that impact. Look at the way she runs into and staggers out of Torrie Wilson's boot in the corner. I don't think she ever got enough credit for how well she took offense and excelled at the basics. I thought the Jimmy Korderas comedy spot worked really well toward the end of the match. It's not the kind of spot they were doing on television, and based on all of the people audible around our cameraman, this section was clearly familiar with all of the TV. You could tell by the big reaction and genuine laughs that the crowd hadn't seen two women steamrolling a bald ref with their cat fight, and it felt like a moment unique to a house show. Also, I loved how they set up the spot right after, where Torrie cut LOW on a clothesline that almost hit Korderas! Torrie threw that with more violent form than I would have expected, and I love a miss thrown like a HR swing. Dawn took the DDT right on her head, in the way that looked like a finish. I don't know man. I hate to say Matt is wrong but House Show Dawn Marie speaks for herself. 

Billy Gunn vs. Heidenreich

MD: So far, past a little blip here or there, this was a wrestling show in front of a crowd that wanted to see a wrestling show. Here, that meant Heyman came out and got some real cheap heat on the mic and Gunn came out and got just as cheap a pop. I spend a bunch of time watching 2022 Billy and he stands out in a way now that he didn't back then, but we probably didn't give him enough credit as a community for what he did do well. Not just the punches either. Here, he bumped like crazy to get over the transition (wiping out on the post on the outside) and then to put over the cutoffs. Heidenreich could lean on some simple armwork and wasn't asked to do too much. The finish was, again, straight out of 1989 with Heyman (who had just sold a crotch chop like death on the outside) up on the apron as Billy was going for his finish and he walked right into Heidenreich's kind of weak Boss Man Slam. Again, everything so far has just been hitting the right buttons for the crowd, just like a house show should. 

ER: I thought this was really good too. I must be in some kind of mood. Some of these house shows just really hum. The pacing on this show has been really good, and perhaps it's been helped out a bit by our cameraman's selective in-match editing. Everything has been 5-10 minutes and it's a reallll comfortable window for this roster to hit. I've had a lot of fun going through Big Boss Man's 2002 run, and I bet there are some unheralded gems in Billy Gunn's 2003-2004. Those Gunn/Holly vs. The Bashams matches probably look a lot better in 2022 than they felt in 2004. Shit I should probably do a Bashams C&A too. That one's been overdue.  

This match was a great Gunn showcase, but Heidenreich had a couple real high notes. He took a crazy fast bump over the top to the floor on a missed charge, then a big tumbling bump off the apron after getting up into a hard Gunn forearm smash. Their floor work was really inspired, with Heidenreich taking a big spill into the guardrail (in the days when there was still a big metal guardrail for a 270 lb. guy to sprint into) and Billy Gunn wrapping himself around the ringpost like 1983 Lawler in the Mid-South Coliseum. Heidenreich throws a nice running clothesline, and Gunn takes a real nice flipping bump from it, flipping from the contact and not before it. All of Gunn's punches looked great, from his early match jabs in the corner to his woozy stumbling rights to build to the finish. Heyman's theatrics are incredible house show bullshit, reacting to a Gunn crotch chop by getting literally hopping mad. If he had a hat he would have slammed it to the ground like Boss Hogg. He takes a really big bump off the apron when Gunn punches him off, and I actually thought Heidenreich's high side slam looked pretty good. It didn't have the impact of the Boss Man Slam, but it's not really controversial to say Heidenreich wasn't as good as the Big Boss Man. But the height was actually high, and his control through the move was really good. 

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

MD: It's been a long time since I've revisited any of the Angle vs. Guerrero feud from earlier in 2004, but this was really good. I think it benefited from being a house show, from having lower stakes, from having more time to breathe, from being in the middle of the card. They started with more time on the mat than I remember Angle usually taking at this point in his career, competitive and scrappy. They moved into a headlock sequence with a big payoff then a top wristlock back and forth with all sorts of comedy that was actually funny, all capped off by Eddy pantsing Angle (which the crowd loved but it followed Gunn doing it to himself because it was his gimmick so again, agenting). When Angle finally got to throw a suplex, it meant something, because there was a place for the match to build to. He wasn't working like Mark Rocco but instead let things breathe and build. It all led up to a pretty exciting finishing stretch with one really great nearfall. These two might have had bigger matches earlier or later in the year, but I doubt they had a better one. It was one of the best, most balanced, most measured and meaningful WWE Angle matches I've seen.

Dudley Boyz vs. Paul London/Billy Kidman

MD: Another attempt at cheap heat to start with the crowd getting behind Kidman's Ralph Macchio delivery and overall solid sense of comedic timing. They got on Bubba and seemed to really enjoy chanting at D-Von later so who knows. They were just happy to be there. London worked the brunt of this until the hot tag and the finishing stretch, even most of the shine. D'Von fed for them but Bubba made them work for everything early. It made for a good combination since there was some gravitas due to the size differential while still letting them hit some of their flashier stuff. Heat was well set up with London getting a shot in on Bubba on the apron and then immediately paying for it. Finishing stretch called back to the Cruiserweight match earlier with Spike and then Rey coming out and it all ending with heel miscommunication, another DDT pin, and Spike taking the 619. Good piece of house show business overall.

Rob Van Dam vs. Kenzo Sukuzi

MD: You can't say that these two didn't match up well. They both had stupid, stylized offense, but in some ways that was better than only one of them having stupid, stylized offense. Both took one big bump too, Suzuki taking one from the top rope to the floor off a kick to the rear and RVD going hard into the steps to start the heat. Cutoffs were ok but the actual comeback move was just a kick out of nowhere and felt anti-climactic. As did the finishing stretch. Suzuki probably would have done better to stall more at the start. It was getting a reaction and he had Hiroko at ringside to help get heat. 

John Cena/Charlie Haas vs. Booker T/Luther Reigns

MD: Cena felt like the biggest, most electric star on the show so far, and that's saying something when Angle vs. Eddy was earlier in the night. When I'm watching a random house show tag like this, what I'm really looking for, as much as anything else, are the wrestlers interacting with one another. Cena brought that in a big way, pulling Jackie Gayda in to pose and clapping up Haas after the initial stalling. Delaying of gratification meant that the match started with Haas vs. Reigns instead of Booker vs. Cena, playing around with them post-match. You got the sense that Cena was trying to elevate them for the crowd. There was a bit of Booker hyping Reigns to start the match that was good too. We lose a chunk of this, most of the heat but Haas looked pretty good in there with Reigns for the minute or so we got. Booker exuded this oozing sliminess when he came in to work Haas over. Past that, it was a little paint by numbers in giving the fans what they wanted, but Cena made sure all the numbers were at least high and vibrant and it ended up feeling like a big celebration. 

JBL vs. Undertaker

MD: Really strong house show main event here. JBL cut a good, deluded promo trashing Australia and asking the fans to support him like he was 1983 Tommy Rich. I liked the early loop a lot where they bypassed the initial stalling, teased Old School, had JBL hit a great neckbreaker and Russian leg sweep, had Taker sit up, then did the stalling/leaving, and finished it with Taker dragging him back and actually hitting Old School. The match hinged upon JBL taking out Taker's leg and he really worked to get it early, first capitalizing on a missed knee in the corner by punching it out, then turning a Taker move on the stairs around, and finally tossing a chair into the ring to distract the ref so he could whack it with another chair. He had a nice (in theory though maybe not execution) Gagne-style deathlock on for a while and then they were able to use it to justify all of Taker's comebacks getting cut off. The finish was full of ref bumps and Dupree coming back to cause trouble before the groggy ref saw JBL use the belt for the DQ. Post match, Taker destroyed half the roster as the crowd chanted for Cena to come out to save him, but ultimately they were probably more than ok with what they got.

ER: I thought this was an excellent JBL outing and a kind of lacking Undertaker outing until all of the push to his big comeback, balancing out to a very good house show main. For the first 10 minutes of this long match, I swear Undertaker was throwing every single strike 3" short of his intended target. You could clearly see every JBL shot (and I do mean every kick, punch, chop, and elbow) land, and here's Undertaker throwing punches at a fly a few inches in front of JBL's forehead. JBL and Undertaker's star do the work of two men here, but JBL is the guy taking big bumps and attempting to lean into Taker's strikes, and it's just a great JBL match. I loved early when he wasn't budging Taker with shoulderblocks, then rushes in with even more steam only to get sidestepped, crashing over the top to the floor in a really big bump. JBL is good at bumping into the ring steps, but leg control JBL was a different kind of fun than I was expecting this match to be. When JBL dodges a Taker running boot in the corner and Taker's balls hit the buckles, that's JBL's time to work over that leg.

I love his kneebreaker, a really vicious move for a guy his size to do, trapping Taker's shin in his legs and jumping down to his knees. Taker has an amusingly loose set up for his own rolling kneebar, but JBL is good at dropping tons of elbows on Taker's knee, trapping it in his own legs, applying pressure to the actual knee, and recoiling from all of Taker's strikes to break that hold. Taker is very good at limping around and paying lip service to that knee, though seemed to be selling it better when his leather pant leg was hiked up his leg. JBL set up all of Taker's comeback offense really well, and leaned right into that Snake Eyes/Big Boot combo that a lot of fans bought as the finish. The crowd seemed genuinely surprised when Taker kicked out of the Clothesline from Hell, and I loved Rene Dupree's big bump off the apron when Taker kicked away his distraction. You can't have JBL - even as champ - pinning Taker on the main event of Melbourne's only show of the year, and I thought all the bullshit at the finish was more than enough to send a crowd home happy. 

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AEW Five Fingers of Death Week of 4/11-4/17

AEW Dynamite 4/13

CM Punk vs. Penta Obscura

MD: Writing about 2022 Punk almost every week, what stands out to me the most is probably his connection to the crowd. There was a moment early on where he somehow managed a step up armdrag off the ropes. It seems like the sort of thing he only did because he was wrestling a "lucha guy" but hey, Penta based for him and it worked even if it wasn't the prettiest thing in the world. Point being, afterwards he had a big shit-eating grin on his face and made enough of a connection with the crowd that they cut the camera to this random guy giving him that big grin back and Fonzie-pointing to him like he was telling a friend of his "'ey, good one, pal!" It's no small thing.

It wasn't just that moment either. I was wondering how he was going to deal with the Penta taunt at the start and he played into the fact that the C and the M were his name and got the crowd chanting back and forth. When the taunt (and shove) came, they went right into a strike exchange, and if you're going to do a no-sell strike exchange, best to do it right at the start. Punk didn't exactly no sell though; instead he let Penta's chops turn his body so that he was wound up for his own shot back. Regardless, the thing, simple as it was, drew an AEW chant in the first two minutes of the match.

It's good they had the crowd too, as the match sort of went off the rails the longer it went. They were already moving sluggishly for what they were trying to do even before Punk fell off the ropes and started to sell the knee heavily (which could have been intentional or him covering, but it doesn't really matter). After that it became even more overwrought. There were a couple of nice teases of spots afterwards (like the pile drivers on the apron) and it looked like Penta even had a shot, which spoke well for the layout of the finishing stretch. But there was also Punk being a little too selective with the knee selling and maybe getting out of the arm snap a little too easily (twice) instead of protecting it well enough. They ultimately probably tried to do just a little too much when they should have been leaning more into who they were and not what they could do.

Eddie Kingston/Santana/Ortiz vs. Chris Jericho/Jake Hager/Daniel Garcia

MD: This was the first actual match in this chapter of the feud and they ended up giving it more than I expected them to, while also keeping it very conventional and conservative, though with some definite high spots at the end. The opening bit with Santana and Jericho was perfect, with Jericho mouthing off and getting punched in the face for it and then giving for Santana, ending with the double leg and everything breaking down. They used Hager as a brick wall to cut off Ortiz with the heat lasting through the break like usual. It was solid though: good hope spots, good cut offs, Kingston and Santana working the apron. They mostly kept Garcia out of it so that he could provide that last burst of energy and motion and speed to set up the hot tag and then take everyone's offense after Kingston came in. His double-underhook suplex out of the ropes looked great. It felt like there were some timing miscues on the end, more like three or four than just one, but overall this was disciplined and a good prelude to the street fights to come.

ER: Man this was really good. It's smack dab in the middle of a Dynamite that had several Meltzer 4 star plus matches, except this 4 star match actually had a good layout and didn't have several blown spots like those other classics that people definitely remembered a day later. I loved how this built, love how these guys spend 10 minutes. Everyone had something to do and knew exactly how they could add to the match. Santana looks bigger and more aggressive, Jericho played weak to Santana but tough to Ortiz, Kingston is frothing on the apron and targeting Garcia, Garcia plays a great punk, Ortiz is a great FIP, Hager is the muscle. They all blend it so well. I loved Santana battering Jericho, with Jericho even running from him! It made it that much better when Jericho was beating up Ortiz, throwing tighter punches and harder chops than he was throwing at Santana, his entire body posture changed. 

Kingston isn't a rabid dog on the apron, he's a dog being held just outside the gates of the dog park, waiting for every little burst where he's finally allowed to play. He doesn't just pounce on Garcia on the floor, he grapevines his leg while punching him, yanking him off the apron to get more; when Jericho is starting to pick apart Ortiz and posing for the cameras, King runs in and shoves him out of his shot. JAS are really good in their corner, especially Garcia. He had a truly great choke from the apron, hooking that arm and leaning back with his weight, and I love how they handled the hot tag: Garcia ran in and came down hard on Ortiz, in his first real attempt at a hot tag. Ortiz managed to make the tag anyway and it left him wide open for King and Santana to tee off on him. Santana's three amigos and big splash were strong, and it all kept building to a bigger and crazier stretch: Kingston hits a heavy tope suicide, Santana flies out with a plancha, Ortiz takes out 2.0 with a tope con giro, loved all of it. I'm not sure I noticed any of the miscommunications that Matt saw. I thought all of this was tight. Then again, on a show with another classic 4.5 star Luchasaurus match, anything would seem tight. 

AEW Rampage 4/15

Blackpool Combat Club vs. Gunn Club

MD: If the BCC is going to stay a three-man unit for a while, this was our first look at what their matches might look like. Obviously, you came into this looking for a change in Yuta, for him to be wrestling somewhat different, for some new fire and viciousness within him, and I think they got that more right than wrong. There were hints of finger manipulation early and that, I think, is something he should really be leaning into. Steve Grey is one of his favorite wrestlers, but he needs to be looking to Breaks and Rudge and instead of the world's greatest blue-eye. That's not his path right now. The crowd was very behind him though, and they built to a big moment in the end where he stood up to Billy Gunn. Gunn's a great visual element in small doses and was so here. Maybe Yuta doesn't have to be killing people left and right if the crowd gets behind him primarily for his resilience, sort of like an Ogawa teaming with a Misawa. I still think he can be more though, so long as the work continues.

Danielson, who worked the middle and took the heat, had a great little bit where he forearmed the side of the head while holding Colton (I think) in the Romero Special, but the best stuff was when he faced off against Billy. I like how they kept Mox out of it for the most part, mainly having him working the apron and trying to get in. It meant when he did come in, it was all this built up potential energy waiting to be unleashed. I know it's ridiculous and over the top but there's no way Austin Gunn is going to stand out in this roster otherwise, so he should keep doing what he's doing. It gets a reaction, it's memorable. It works. I think it's important that the BCC continues to wrestle both faces and heels but this was a nice first showing for them as a unit.

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AEW Five Fingers of Death Week of 11/29-12/5

AEW Dark 11/30 (Taped 10/24)

Infinito vs. Ray Jaz

PAS: I am not sure the point of this Danielson gimmick.  He gets a chance to work some fast exchanges with Jaz - who looked good - and I really liked Jaz's bumps on the monkey flips. The shtick of the match was Infinito winning with the airplane spin, but it wasn't a great looking airplane spin. For an airplane spin to really work they need to be fast, and I thought the Infinito one was pretty slow. Long slow airplane spin isn't going to do much. It's fun that Danielson gets to experiment, but this was a miss for me.

AEW Dynamite 12/1

Bryan Danielson vs. Alan Angels

ER: I like Heel And Loving It Danielson, laughing that he's getting booed against Alan Angels just for showing up, not working disrespectfully but cutting much more to the point. Angels is fired up in front of his home crowd and Danielson works the vibes of a guy who is underestimating his opponent, who isn't actually underestimating his opponent. His smile is infectious as he hits chops and running dropkicks and the crowd boos, and I liked how he responded to a nice Angels backslide with a sick butterfly suplex into an armbar that I thought was going to polish off Angels right there. Angels got to have his fun hometown comeback, hitting a dive and a Spanish Fly, but misses a moonsault. Once that moonsault missed you could tell Bryan was going to shut this thing down, and stomping the guys' face a bunch before just locking in a kneebar is a cool bad guy way to finish a match. 

MD: This never quite boiled over like I thought it might. We've seen Angels really go and I thought this might be an opportunity for Danielson to turn it up a notch. What we got was fine though. Dragon's most interesting right now with his little mannerisms, laughing off the crowd chanting for Angels, pointing to his ear to draw the boos to a couple of different sides of the ring, indicating his knee after grinding it into Angels' face. Angels sold big for Danielson, leaping into the corner after getting chopped. The transitions and cutoffs were ok: Angels using a backslide to get some kicks in, Danielson cutting Angels' strike attempts off by whipping him around to plant him with the double underhook into the cross arm-breaker, the knee counter to a suplex attempt which is 100% the novel zeitgeist AEW spot of 2021. None of it really told a broader story though. And with that broader story absence, I sort of wanted them to just go harder. I don't always want that, but I wanted it here. Good reactions all around though, especially that smile on Angels' face as the crowd greeted him to start the match. He'll have that with him the rest of his life.

CM Punk vs. Lee Moriarty

ER: Well this stunk. I have no idea how Lee Moriarty became a guy people want to see, because I don't see it. I thought Moriarty looked awful here. None of his offense looks good, he sells every move the same  way but doesn't sell actual parts of his body that get worked over, sets up spots incredibly lazy, and has no punch whatsoever behind any of his dreadful chain offense. How is this guy getting 12 TV minutes against CM Punk? The match goes from bad to worse when Moriarty breaks out one of the dumbest wrestling reversals (taking a top rope huricanrana fully and then just rolling into a bad sunset flip) and then straight into a brutally bad Malenko/Guerrero sequence. This was some not ready for primetime shit, and it made Punk look weaker being associated with it. MJF on commentary was even laughing about how Punk couldn't beat this guy, and when the man is right, he's right. 

PAS: This was just an awful matchup for Punk. I am not a Moriarty guy, but his best stuff has been doing that kind of slick reversal match with guys like Alex Shelley and Daniel Makabe, and that is something that Punk has never really been good at and definitely isn't his strength now. Moriarty really hasn't been on TV, and took way too much of this match for the crowd who didn't know or care about him. It made Punk look bad and didn't do much to make Moriarty look good, especially with MJF clowning him on commentary. That rana into the Malenko/Guerrero stuff looked awful, and the final reversal run wasn't much better. The mic work between Punk and MJF basically worked last week, and it really didn't work this week. None of the jokes landed and it felt very WWE Rawish. The first real complete miss of the Punk era and cutting the incredible Kingston feud short to run this seems like a bigger error each week. 

MD: I had a hard time even paying attention to this one because of MJF on commentary. I'm under the belief that there's payoff to all of this, but it's not to be found in this program. Punk beating MJF doesn't change the fact that he's been presented as struggling with guys like QT and Moriarty, to a level that the jeering heel has more than a point. In that case, it makes MJF look worse for not being able to overcome the guy struggling against QT after his faction has been sent away. If MJF beats Punk, he's beaten a Punk that's obviously diminished. There can be a payoff which is Punk finding his fire or going heel or whatever, but I don't think it can happen within this program. Even done open-eyed, it feels like a missed opportunity for the guy who came back with the most buzz in years. It makes people like Darby and Kingston look worse in defeat, since it was this obviously lesser Punk that still managed to defeat them. As for the match, I'm not arguing with Eric or Phil. A lot of this comes down to presentation. They made the point that Punk was working a heavier schedule than MJF but just like they didn't press in hard enough on QT's low blow, I don't think they were able to hone in on Moriarty's specific skills that'd give him an advantage and make him hard to deal with. They called him young and talented but it was hard to talk over MJF's absolutist bluster. I still like Punk using the bodyslams in various ways. The best of the dancey counter stuff was the Pepsi twist. But they're not putting the exacting care they need to in this presentation. This needed to be much clearer and more focused both in-ring and on commentary.

49. Darby Allin/Sting vs. Gunn Club

ER: I really liked the Darby/Billy Gunn match, and the Darby/Billy moments were my favorite parts of this tag. Gunn really plants Darby with a full nelson slam, like he was trying to put him through the ring. We miss some cool things during the commercial break, which is a shame. The picture in picture caught a lot of the Gunn Club cutting Darby off from Sting, but cut to an actual commercial when Gunn was about to hit a big slam, then came back and Darby had a cut on his head. Darby is always cool with blood (I guess that goes for every wrestler though so), and he hits two classic unhinged Darby dives, a great tope into the guardrail on Austin, and a tope con giro that bounces him off Billy Gunn's head. Sting was fun on his hot tag and the Gunn Club is a strong act, but I just love that weirdo Billy/Darby chemistry. 

MD: A lot to like here. They work the first couple of minutes almost like a mixed-tag with Colten feeding for Darby's speed. The transition when Billy tags in works great. Someday I'll revisit his "The One" run because I look at things differently now, but I didn't have a lot of time for it back when it happened. Even then, I loved the One and Only cobra clutch slam and him catching Darby into it was so good. Darby's hope spot where he landed on his feet after the fall away slam right into the crucifix and the subsequent cut off with Billy's slam was all more than solid. I saw a feed with no PiP which helped. Austin would have been preferable to Colten for that slowed down commercial heat since he's just more naturally irritating, whereas his brother needs to work for it. Darby is the world's most sympathetic Sabu. The second we see the top of his head bleeding, he immediately hits a jawbreaker with it. And those pinball dives. Putting over Sting in Atlanta is as good a way to end an undercard streak as anything.

PAS: I thought this was really great, and it is amazing how effective Sting is at this point of his career. He shows up every couple of months or so, and has these great Southern tags. He is a really good in the corner worker, and is a tremendous hot tag. I loved Darby using those insane topes as cut offs, giving Sting the chance to clean house. The flip stunner into the Scorpion drop was awesome, and the Gunn Club were great stooges, even Austin's big punch ruled. What a great bit of business. There are so many match ups I am excited to see the Darby/Sting tag team work, how great would a Darby/Sting vs. Hook/Dante Martin tag be?

2021 MOTY MASTER LIST

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AEW Five Fingers of Death Week of 11/15-11/21

AEW Dynamite 11/17

Bryan Danielson vs. Evil Uno

PAS: It was fun to watch Danielson turn full heel with a very well done mic segment to do it, and he was a total dick in the match with Uno. I thought the early parts of this felt a little off, like their timing was a bit skipped. It picked up near the end with Danielson being really vicious, telling the crowd he was going to kick Uno's fucking head in, and then unloading with some really nasty stomps to the temple and the double flex triangle. Uno had some moments, I liked the slaps and the violence party, but he was there to be a foil and was great at that. 

MD: They covered a lot of ground here. This got over Danielson's heel act immediately as he pushed Edwards right from the get go with the "I've got til five" act. Then, instead of starting a chop fest with Uno, he just slapped him across the face. There was a lot of that, Danielson goading Uno and Uno responding with violence, but a lack of control that would cost him in the end. I don't know how many other big moments he's going to get in his AEW career (I could see at least one more if O'Reilly comes in) but he milked the chants and that one moment on the apron before he went up to the top for as much as he could. My favorite bit of this was probably his too, when he kept walking up and planting Danielson on the face with kicks. The spinning forearm from Danielson was amazing and seemed to parallel the big shot from Suzuki onto him a few weeks ago. Each member of the Dark Order brings something unique to the table, so it should be fun to watch Danielson mow through them.


AEW Rampage 11/19

Darby Allin vs. Billy Gunn 

ER: Darby Allin vs. way larger opponent is always a great match, and Billy Gunn is the largest guy on the AEW roster. Billy Gunn is maybe the wildest guy from the 1993 WWF roster to be this active in 2021, but Gunn is basically a better version of the wrestler he was in 1999. He's a great stooge and can stall in fun smug ways, and as AEW's Giant he absolutely runs over Darby for the first 80% of this match, and it rules. He launches Darby way into the air on a backdrop and brutally oles him into the guardrail on a fast Darby tope. During the commercial break he drags Darby around by the neck scruff and tosses him by his rib tape, then punches him right in the jaw in the center of the ring. Gunn really knew how to milk the build to the comeback that every single person in attendance knew was coming (Billy Gunn isn't pinning Darby Allin on TV while Sting watches), and it made Darby's comeback kick so much ass. 

Darby starts by hitting a Coffin Drop into Gunn's two dumb sons, then just assaults Billy with everything that makes Darby so great. But what was maybe most impressive about the finish, was just how good Billy Gunn has gotten about occupying himself while waiting to take offense, and how good he's gotten at getting into position for offense. Gunn sets up all of Darby's coolest stuff really well, and had a bunch of logical sells to get him into position for whatever was coming next. He sells the flipping stunner by stumbling, pitching forward and stopping himself from face planting by settling into a drunken 3 point stance, which sets up Darby's Code Red. Gunn flips the Code Red so that he lands in position to get stuck by the Coffin Drop, kicks out at 1 and then drags his body away from the corner, only to get nailed by another Drop mid-crawl. Gunn was never this good at acting his way through anyone's comeback, and now I want to see Billy Gunn working some lucha matches with other near 60 year olds. 

MD: I'm not going to try to follow Eric move-for-move on this one, but I will point out a few things. Depending on where you look on the internet, you get wildly varying reactions. Obviously, you get some people who saw this as a disappointing joke after the Malenko/Guerrero stuff in Darby vs MJF and then you get someone like Dutch Mantel who thought Gunn led young Darby by the nose through one believable sequence after the other but that obviously the wrong person won. This is probably why someone shouldn't go out onto the internet.

Anyway, Gunn is a dinosaur, big and old, and he's outlived all the other dinosaurs and now finds himself in a world of small mammals, with Darby as one of the smallest, most tenacious, most dangerous mammals of all. Gunn took his time, was smart in his hefts and throws and shots and cutoffs, treated Darby as Darby and not just some random opponent. I love how he managed the picture-in-picture commercial break which is always the most problematic part of a Dynamite or a Rampage. Usually that's where they bury the heat which provides structural issues but he slowed it down even more and worked the crowd and just grinded it out in a way that put more fuel onto things. 

It's 100% telling that the crowd went from goofing on Gunn's kids with a Danhausen-inspired chant (and Gunn was great at stopping what he was doing, turning the match around and reacting to that instead of just moving on) to cheering for Darby to come back. That's a testament to Darby and to Gunn, because on paper, a modern crowd is more often than not going to want to get itself over than giving in and buying into a match. Darby choosing to take basically his first, best opportunity for offense in the match and use it to drop onto the Gunn kids instead of attacking Billy is completely in character for him. The fact that it took two coffin drops to take Gunn out tracked with the lack of damage Gunn had taken so far. I can't speak for the rest of you, but I know Eric and I would be on board for a featured Gunn Club vs. Darby/Sting/Paul Wight match. Someone has to give them their first loss as a trios after all.

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