My Favorite Wrestling: WCW Saturday Night 5/16/98

Road Block vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

ER: This was pretty great, maybe my favorite Duggan WCW syndicated match. That's not super high praise, as Duggan was a fairly selfish syndicated worker, prone to no selling punches and kind of gobbling up lower totem pole guys. But Roadblock didn't get gobbled up at all, and got an extended run here as a great 60s style big man. Roadblock wasn't going to move much of a needle in 1998, a guy born way too late. I like his clumsy but heavy kicks to the stomach, high elbow drop, he really gets to beat Duggan around the ring, and he gets a long and awesome bearhug. He's really squeezing Duggan, holding him up in the air, and the camera clearly keeps it above the waist on tight shots, especially when Roadblock starts shaking him. "Nobody needs to see these two violently rubbing mons pubis, keep it high and tight!" Duggan fights out of it with punches and a headbutt, but Roadblock hangs on so we get a cool extended bearhug on television. Duggan works stiff on his comeback, throws a nice "back up" shot, hits this killer and big corner punches. Roadblock misses a huge splash off the middle rope to set up Duggan's clothesline and big kneedrop. This was really competitive for a Duggan match, became an unexpectedly fun big boy banger.

Barry Horowitz vs. Marty Jannetty

ER: Man 1998 Jannetty always looked such a decade behind the times. Horowitz is a guy I really appreciate on these shows. He was beyond the "dependable" tag that gets hung on him, he was a guy who always found a different way to fill 4 minutes. He would experiment with offense, and be entertaining in matches where he dominated (like this one) or ones that he gets worked over. I thought this match was fantastic, Horowitz has nice strikes and dominates the action, throws hard stomps to Duggan's head and drops a leg, comes up with a cool rolling cradle out of a stump puller, a guy who really looks good in control of  a match. But the Jannetty comeback is incredible, as Horowitz comes up with a crazy way to transition Marty back to offense: Horowitz climbs to the top while Jannetty is laid out, but Barry flies balls first into a waiting atomic drop. That's the best transition, totally precision landing, cool concept. Jannetty wins with an absolutely gorgeous fistdrop off the TOP ROPE, truly one of the finest fistdrops I've ever seen, and a fine fistdrop is something that can truly warm my pro wrestling heart. This show could just be one 2 hour GIF.

Mean Gene gives an unfortunate interview with Fit Finlay where they hype his upcoming Slamboree match against Chris Benoit, and Gene says how Benoit is someone who can "really tie you up". What did Gene know?

Horace vs. Juventud Guerrera

ER: My favorite matches on these shows tend to be the ones where the result is somewhat in doubt. And this is a fun example of that. Horace is a guy I seem to be a highish vote on (I like him as a well above average big thug type), but he's not super high on the WCW totem pole. and big guys did mostly steamroll over non Rey Mysterio small guys in WCW, but Juvy was a guy who had been treated as a potential future Mysterio. So this was a fun match with a rare mystery outcome. Horace was great at tossing around Juvy early, and only made Juvy's big comeback more exciting. Juvy looked really explosive on the comeback, even got to hit a big plancha. And Horace does actually win the match, but it big interference from Reese. So Juvy loses, but takes on a full heavyweight and only loses because a freakshow giant crushes him. '98/'99 Juvy was really great.

Johnny Swinger vs. Jerry Flynn

ER: This episode is a real classic so far, full of fun and kind of unexpected gems. Swinger here plays the really underrated role of "overly cocky small guy", and seriously who is the crowd supposed to cheer for in this one? Flynn looks like a meathead doofus karate guy who would be a traitor working as a karate guy for the Vietcong in a direct to video Christopher Mitchum movie. And Swinger is a greasy punk who wears just-sleeves instead of a full ring jacket and grinds his hips in between moves. So you get two stubblemugs working a stiff match, and it's great. Swinger really comes off like an under a under the radar tough guy, always able to eat a beating from tough guys, always seems to get matched up with tough guys and leans into strikes, and always works snug when he gets to work offense, despite a usual size discrepancy. Flynn gets a lot of nice big kicks, Swinger makes those kicks look great, but Swinger also gets a hot start and gets to look on Flynn's level. I'm not sure I've seen Swinger win a match in WCW, but he's a guy I appreciate the more I see.

Len Denton vs. Disco Inferno

ER: Here's a rare bird indeed! A 1998 Len Denton sighting! I really liked 1998 Len Denton. Almost a best case scenario Jim Neidhart. He hits hard on shoulderblocks, throws his body into a lariat, sets up a good backdrop, a good workmanlike body slam. Len Denton is the kind of guy you get excited to see on a Saturday Night. Disco Inferno is the world's most successful Ken Marino character, and for those reasons this easily works. Denton really flies into a missed elbow drop off the middle rope, drops fast on the Chartbuster. It was short, but it was what you wanted.

If this episode were closer to Halloween I would assume that Gene was doing some kind of killer Stop Making Sense costume but this is in May. Mean Gene looks like a man dying before our eyes.

And then we get one of those batshit insane but also smug as hell baller Eric Bischoff promo where he keeps casually and "calmer than you are" challenging Vince to show up at Slamboree to get a shitkicking. What a lunatic concept, just trying to challenge your competition to some kind of shoot. And you just know it actually got under Vince's skin and he probably had to be talked out of showing up. There has to be some good stories behind that angle right?

Disorderly Conduct vs. High Voltage

ER: This episode is a thing of marvelous beauty. This match is sweet heroin rushing into my veins, two dudes with mullets and purple singlets versus two guys with on paper better hair but neon green singlets just doing a hot moves sprint. This is the stuff you want. You want Mean Mike breaking out a chinbreaker and body slam double teams, you want Robbie Rage hitting a huge butterfly suplex and Kenny Kaos hitting a huge powerslam running Tough Tom into the turnbuckles. This was the kind of fast paced short tag match that WCW syndicated shows did so much better at than similar era WWF.

Lenny Lane vs. Kidman

ER: Lane is a fun cruiserweight comedy stooge that probably doesn't get enough credit for being a fun TV performer during this era. Lane's stuff is a little telegraphed, but he has a fun roll up, really great headscissors, a couple unique slams. Kidman is game as a bumper but seems a little uninventive in getting to his spots, kind of awkwardly grabbing his bulldog off the ropes when it looked like he wanted to just end things. The shooting star didn't crush Lane's windpipe, so that's a relief. This was at minimum a nicely paced cruiserweight match, unique in its lack of luchador (it was almost always luchador vs. white guy in the weekly Saturday Night showcase match), this added to the episode's already high bang for the buck factor.

Evan Kourageous vs. Saturn

ER: Seeing Evan Karagias (I used the actual spelling they used onscreen up above) run out for a match makes my heart sink a little. The show had been doing so well. BUT, Saturn comes out, and he's a guy who could be a jerk sometimes, so you instantly think this pretty boy with the bad goatee might get roughed up! Kidman gets on the mic before the match and asks Karagias if he wants to get beat by the Rings of Saturn, or the Death Valley Driver? And this is a tremendous beating from Saturn, total great squash. Karagias gets a somewhat sold dropkick, and Saturn bumps for a flippy DDT, but the rest is Saturn throwing high kicks to the face, a big overhead butterfly belly to belly, hard dropkick while vaulting off a chair, Psychosis level height guillotine legdrop, and sticks him with the dvd. Saturn looked like the most fun wrestler in WCW in this match, he really went through some fun bursts.

Yuji Nagata vs. Goldberg

ER: If you asked people when this match happened "Which of these two guys will be in the Observer Hall of Fame in 20 years?" how many people would have met Nagata. Goldberg was a nuclear megastar here. The crowd goes absolutely mental the entire match. Nagata starts throwing fast high kicks and Goldberg shrugs them off, starts with his weird shit like his rolling knee bar and his backflip and catches a Nagata kick to whip him with his cool dragon screw, and the fans are just losing their minds. When he levels him with an absolute battering ram of a spear, these people can't contain themselves. Goldberg holds the Jackhammer for exactly 7 seconds, and Goldberg had to be the most popular man in all of Springfield, Illinois that afternoon.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Fit Finlay

ER: Earlier in the episode they announced this match but I thought it was Finlay vs. Chavo, which I'm sure would have been good, but Finlay vs. Eddie is way more legendary sounding. Oh, and it IS Finlay vs. Chavo, because Eddie is so generous that he opts to give his nephew the TV Title opportunity. So that means that WCW blew its own reveal earlier in the episode where at the very beginning of the show they announced Finlay vs. Chavo. I knew I didn't mishear that shit. Why would they film an angle and then blow the surprise 90 minutes earlier? And sometimes Finlay really comes off like a cold-blooded assassin in matches. Here he gives a joyless beating at Chavo, not wanting to get involved in the uncle/nephew drama, and really showing off some great hard wrestling offense. Chavo doesn't get a lot of extended action but doesn't totally allow himself to be swallowed up. Even if he's not getting a string of moves he still would do things like throw body blows when getting picked up off the mat, at least giving us some struggle. Finlay is busy as usual, tossing constant stomps to a downed Chavo, hitting the hardest forearm to the back, lifting him up for an absurdly high bodyslam (he was holding Chavo by his head and shoulders! Like a vertical suplex almost but just yoinked up like a bodyslam), really buries that shoulder to the gut on the rolling fireman's carry, and Eddie is playing faux concerned the entire time on the floor. Eddie even puts his white towel over his head so he doesn't have to see poor Chavo take a nasty as hell tombstone.

What a perfect little episode of 1998 syndicated WCW. I've somehow written up more 1999 Saturday Night episodes than 1998, and that feels like a misguided mistake. 1998 was really my sweet spot at the time, and this episode really backed up my emotions and memories. Total front to back banger right here.


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My Favorite Wrestling: WCW Worldwide 5/8/99 & 5/15/99

5/8/99

Frankie Lancaster vs. Disco Inferno

ER: In the WWE/WCW mirror universe, Lancaster is Bob Holly. A tag team of Holly/Lancaster would have been amazing. They could have done the Killer Bees switcheroo, unmasked. And this is a quality enough match, constant action and some nice overall work by Lancaster. I hadn't remembered Lancaster still in the company this late, but he worked there for a year after this match! I like him. He's big enough that it looks impressive when he takes offense, and he's surprisingly good at taking offense. He takes a bunch of armdrags and hip tosses to start, eats a backdrop, and doesn't gas even though he looks like someone who would definitely gas. He also hits a really great left arm lariat, really straight arms Disco. The finish is one I don't love, but couldn't have been handled better by Lancaster: He goes up to the middle rope to do something onto Disco, who is on the mat, and Disco gets his boot up. I hate guys jumping off the ropes and landing on their feet, face to boot. What move would they have been doing had that boot not been there? But Lancaster takes it on the chin and does a great stagger while holding onto his chin, the kind of knee knocking stagger that Rick Rude would do after taking an atomic drop. And while Lancaster is stumbling he gets hit with the Chartbuster, continuing to sell that chin. All well played.

Silver King vs. Horace Hogan

ER: For a match that's 85% one guy in control, this is plenty fun. Horace is out with Stevie Ray and Vincent, and what's great about this is the nWo cheat the entire time. I love they come out here against Silver King, a guy who was rarely even on the winning team during trios matches in WCW, and felt the need to cheat to win. But here's Horace choking King with his nWo belt, throwing King to the floor so that Stevie can put the boots to him. Horace has some nice shots to the body, King takes a big bump into the guardrail and a ringside chair off an Irish whip, and King gets a nice mini run after landing on Horace during a Horace back suplex attempt. Vincent is really good at ringside, that guy really knew how to act (?) like a chump, loved when King hit a kick to a grounded Horace and ran up top, backing Vincent off with a kick from the apron. Vincent acts tough a charges towards him and then does this huge flinch when King barely even threatens to kick him, then Vincent acts like he did everything to stop him once King easily gets to the top. There was no way King was winning this, but since it is WCW you knew we'd be getting 4 solid minutes, which is part of the joy of these.

In an ad after this episode, I find out that Home Movies actually debuted on The CW. It's a show so associated with Adult Swim, and a show I watched from the beginning on AS, and I had no clue until now that it had a remarkably unsuccessful run on CW before getting scooped up by AS.

5/15/99

El Dandy vs. Erik Watts

ER: This is the kind of match up you're going to get in syndicated '99 WCW. Dandy is wearing bright purple gear that I've never seen, and Watts as you know is wearing those gigantic Jnco jeans with legs wide enough to completely engulf his boots. I had no memory of Watts being so muggy. He worked half this match like he was Hugh Morrus, cracking jokes with Charles Robinson, mugging to fans, working like a real jokester for some reason. "What can I do to get noticed? Maybe do some Hugh Morrus shtick? Watts goofing off is what gives Dandy openings to offense. There is a little miscommunication early. Dandy likely carried some luchador loads, but a 6'6" guy tripping over his own jeans is another story. Once they're on the same page it gets pretty decent, with Dandy laying in a nice kick to Watt's jaw and flashing that big right hand that always makes Mike Tenay rightfully swoon. Watts has a lot of indy offense that looks somewhat out of place, but also effective. He kicks Dandy in the stomach and hits an amusingly aloof Rocker Dropper, shrugging before stepping over Dandy to drop the leg over the back of his neck. He also hits a buckle bomb before that was a thing, and his finisher is some kind of weird Flatliner/reverse chokeslam, where his left arm is over Dandy's chest and wrapped around his neck, while his right hand is grabbing the back of Dandy's neck. Erik Watt's: Late 90s imitator. If I could have remixed these episodes I would have much rather seen Dandy vs. King and Horace vs. Watts, but we know how this goes.

The Gambler vs. Dave Taylor

ER: Well this is a WCW syndicated dream match if there ever was one. Gambler looks like old pictures of everyone's dad from when you were a kid. It didn't seem weird at the time but then you look back through photos from a camping trip and there's your dad shirtless and wearing short cut off shorts and tinted sunglasses. Dad's looked like less cool Arn Andersons, and we had no responsibilities. Oh, and this match rules - obviously - but in a way I couldn't have expected, because The Gambler takes 90% of this match, with Taylor getting 5% to start and 5% to finish. This was the most Gambler Showcase I have ever seen in a match. Dave Taylor was mentioned and talked about at the beginning of the episode and hyped up, talked about like a guy everyone was naturally excited to see, "The Bigun from Wigan", talking about him like he was an old friend of the program. And then Gambler comes out later and just eats him for lunch before losing to one move. Taylor's bit of offense at the beginning is a kick to the stomach, dropkick, and a European uppercut, and Gambler takes that uppercut by reeling back into the ropes, then firing off them with an elbow right to Taylor's throat. Gambler hits a couple really nice kneelifts and hits a huge lariat sending Taylor over the top to the floor, then flips him back over the ropes when Taylor tries to get in. This is already as much Gambler offense as I've probably ever seen, but we're not at all done. Gambler has a bunch of really great Arn Anderson offense, as well as a really great Arn Anderson hairline, throwing Taylor into the ropes just to punch him in the stomach, then kneeing Taylor in the face when he buckles from the punch. Taylor is reeling almost the entire match, Gambler wrenches on a cravate, throws in a couple stomps, hits an axe handle off the top, this whole thing is flat out bizarre. Alas, Gambler goes up for another axehandle and gets caught, and Taylor hits his gorgeous butterfly suplex/floatover pin to win it. What the hell happened here!? Because whatever it was I want it in pill form.

Johnny Swinger vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

ER: Swinger comes out wearing his weird tinsel silver collar, looking smug, and then Scott Hudson says "Johnny Swinger, taking an undeserved bow in the ring." Damn, knocking Swinger down a peg there Hudson. Swinger always comes off well in these matches, a guy with a cool cravate, nice elbow to the jaw, nice backdrop suplex, cool running punch, and nice little things like when he really claps Chavo with his knees to kickout of a sunset flip. Johnny Swinger is really good you guys. This is a really cool Swinger showcase. The finish is really cool too, with Swinger burying a knee in Chavo's guy, then hoisting him up for a vertical suplex that Chavo reverses into a gnarly tornado DDT. He really got vertical on the suplex before  whipping straight down into the DDT, it the visual was fantastic and Swinger snapped right into it.

Barry Darsow vs. Chris Adams

ER: What a main! I don't remember Darsow wearing the World of Sport swimsuit singlet before but it looks cool. He looks like Ken Patera or something. Always like seeing that singlet, but maybe because only cool wrestlers wear it (think Finlay, Regal, most recently Dunne). Adams was treated as a real badass during this era, so it's kind of wild to see him get handled by Darsow here. Darsow is a big guy but I don't remember him always working stiff, whereas Adams had been working a cool semi-shooter gimmick. Adams doesn't get steamrolled or anything, he's too good for that, but it's definitely a controlling Darsow performance. They kept a lot of this real tight, as in they were scrapping in close quarters a lot, which is an awesome touch that you really weren't seeing a lot in mainstream 1999 wrestling. Darsow throws a cool right hand that I don't remember him using, and Adams grabs Darsow's arm and bends it a lot of ways while the two are standing, so you get a lot of them standing in the center of the ring working snug headlocks and wristlocks and it feels more like a  Nick Bockwinkel match in Japan than two olds wrestling in North Dakota (I had no idea WCW was running North Dakota tapings in '99, but this taping was two Saturday Nights and a Worldwide and had plenty of good matches, nice bang for your buck tapings). Darsow even gets an insanely dominant victory, winning by REF STOPPAGE after he locks in a nasty camel clutch while ripping at Adams face. The ref straight steps in and throws in the towel for Adams! God bless these shows.

Episode closes with a drunken Hak promo and he's in that hilarious to watch drunken phase of "No no no you don't understand, LISTEN." Gene is trying to corral him and Hak is wandering around stacking ladders and sighing and saying he doesn't know a wristlock from a wristwatch, and when Gene asks him about his plans he's like "Look I don't know I'm just gonna do it or whatever," while his chin is planted in his hand. Brilliant. I love that Sandman got such a great WCW run. It was only a few months, but the guy was EVERYWHERE. He made several PPVs and was on TV all the time. A major bright spot of 1999.


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My Favorite Wrestling! WCW Worldwide 5/11/97

1. Alex Wright vs. Bobby Eaton

Short match that could have been really good, but was more of a Wright moves showcase. The whole thing goes only a couple minutes. Eaton's offense was one great looking punch, and then a missed punch that led to the finishing German suplex.

2. Kevin Sullivan vs. Doc Dean

This was during that period where 75% of the match was Sullivan throwing his opponent to the floor so Jacqueline could do her sequence of snap mare-body slam-suplex while the announcers flipped their shit. "She's a woman! But she's doing these moves to a MAN!" It's main purpose was to turn 1 minute Sullivan matches into 3 minute Sullivan matches, so I'd call that a fail.

Good lord there are so many ads for vacationing in Myrtle Beach. Every commercial break, Myrtle Beach ad. I've never seen these before on any other WCW episode. It's like they had an ad budget and just blew it all on one Saturday night. The ads show a lot of golfing and old people having a good time having dinner together. Sounds nice.

3. Mark Starr vs. Ice Train

Segunda Caida: Now with more stuff written about Mark Starr than ANY other website!! Because Mark Starr is actually really good, and ends up losing to Ice Train on these type of shows pretty often. Schiavone says Ice Train will be a "big star" in this business in a few years, which even without the benefit of hindsight seems like a bad projection. I mean, did Tony really think a 35 year old juiced up guy with a high top fade was really gonna break through and it was only experience that was holding him back? Starr looks great here bumping around for all of Ice Train's powerslams and shoulder blocks. Ice Train looks like a guy who wouldn't look very good without Starr bumping around for him.

4. Konnan vs. Johnny Swinger

God so much Konnan on these '96/'97 shows. Here he busts out a nice octopus hold on the mat (that takes him like 20 seconds to apply). Swinger has nice kicks to the stomach. And then Konnan drops Swinger right on his head with the 187. I mean good lord there has to be some vertebrae damaged there. Was there just some company directive to shoot injure Swinger whenever he was your opponent?  I'm glad he eventually got some WWE paydays.

5. La Parka vs. Robbie Brookside

I was not actually aware that Parka got any singles matches against non-lucha guys, but here he was totally dominating Brookside. So that means he was getting a minor push as early as '97, yet somehow they never pushed him any further than this, or being the guy who cleans the ring in lucha 6 mans. Obviously one of WCW's many screw-ups was not giving more of a push to Parka. A chubby, dancing skeleton who did corkscrew moonsaults and hit people with chairs. He does kip-ups, he kicks people in the face, and he would have sold tons of merchandise. I'm not saying he should have been World Champ (although really, it would have worked) but the fans loved cheering Park.

6. Jim Powers & Bobby Walker vs. Public Enemy

I know most of you are with me on this, but there are many combinations of 1997 WCW wrestlers that I would rather see show up as the main event of an episode that still has 12 minutes remaining. And you know? This isn't totally terrible. Powers is actually alright as a heel, which is a shame that he works face 95% of the time. I'm a fairly easy man to please. I know how to judge things on scale. Every match doesn't have to be Dundee/Lawler. And this match really didn't need much to exceed expectations. Walker hit a nice elbow drop, Grunge hit a nice elbow drop, Rocco tossed out an ugly asai moonsault, I fell asleep for the final two minutes...

maybe this wasn't actually that good.

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My Favorite Wrestling! WCW Worldwide 5/4/97

1. Buddy Lee Parker vs. JL

Fun little match. I wish there was more singles work (or work in general) as he always works stiff and bumps big. Lynn had a couple sloppy headscissors here that BLP made look better than they were. Also took a crazy fast bump to the floor and ended the match by taking a DDT off the top rope. I actually didn't realize JL was a guy they were pushing, but Schiavone/Heenan put him over the whole time.

2. Scott & Steve Armstrong vs. Public Enemy

I love when Armstrongs work heel! They can work babyface comebacks but they really seem to thrive in cheating behind the ref's back and taunting opponents on the apron. Plus neither guy really has much offense so the minimalist heel stuff plays to their strengths. Plus that also means that PE gets their offense shut down until the end comeback and less PE offense can only be a good thing. Since the PE offense was kept to a minimum the end run actually felt hot, with Grunge slyly ducking out of the way of a corner clothesline leading to a fun double sunset flip spot. Steve also found a way to believably stumble into a Rocco Rock moonsault press.

3. Super Calo vs. Konnan

Yay!! A one minute Konnan match! It's bittersweet because I would have liked Calo to get SOME offense, but it also meant only having to see Konnan for 70 seconds. I'll call it a win.

4. Bunkhouse Buck vs. Johnny Swinger

Swinger matches are usually furious beatdowns, and this eventually got there but had a surprising control section from Swinger to start. Swinger used scrappiness to avoid big shots from Buck, and did one of my favorite spots where he grabs a side headlock and keeps holding on whenever Buck tries to throw him into the ropes. He gets got going for a crossbody and Buck plants him with a nasty hotshot and then begins the shitkicking. Big time stomps, massive big boot, and get this: Buck wins with a running punch. A fucking awesome running punch. It was glorious. Afterwards he whips his belt off and starts threatening the camera. YES!

5. High Voltage vs. Joe Gomez & Renegade

One thing you can say about this, is that it was High Voltage in the ring with Joe Gomez and Renegade for 8 minutes. I have no idea what Gomez and Renegade were. They towered over High Voltage here, but because they were the faces they chose to play it up as Fantastics style babyfaces, so just did a bunch of armdrags and sunset flips. Good grief.

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My Favorite Wrestling: WCW Worldwide 12/5/98 & 12/12/98

1. Kendall Windham vs. Manny Fernandez

This, again, is not THEE Manny Fernandez, just some gassed up guy who I didn't realize worked for WCW this late in the game. He popped up a bunch in '95 and '96 and here he still is. Kendall (spelled "Kendell" in his entrance graphic) gives Manny a decent amount of offense and Kendall himself looks awesome in the match. I love Kendall's uppercut and he throws a cool variation where he drops down to a knee while throwing it. It's really cool to see him mixing them up, for example, by throwing an overhand right, short left uppercut, and then the drop down one. Kendall threw a rad snap swinging neckbreaer and Manny was pretty game for this. Not bad at all.

2. Silver King vs. Todd Griffith

I have never heard of Todd Griffith. I assume that Tenay and Hudson haven't either since they keep calling him "Todd Griffin" the whole match. He...was not very good. He had some rad cowboy boots and white pants with fringe, and he looked like a roadie for the Leningrad Cowboys. But he kinda sucked. Every time he picked Silver King up he looked like he was about to fall over. Every body slam, hot shot, etc. ended with him stumbling around off balance afterwards. At one point King stops giving him offense and just kicks him in the face, then hits a super stiff standing somersault leg drop/senton. Tenay naturally tells me to not be fooled by King's deceptive stockiness, while Hudson oozes all over Todd's bod ("as if it were carved out of granite!"). Silver King drops Griffith a couple times with super dangerous looking power bombs, looking dangerous mainly because Griffith appeared unaware of how to go up for a powerbomb.

1. Alex Porteau vs. Alex Wright

We get plenty of shots of crowd members doing their best Western European club kid impressions, and the best is some skinny goober in a wolfpack shirt who looks like Eddie Deezen, doing something approximating the Mashed Potato. This match was 3 minutes long and was actually a really rad workrate sprint. 3 minutes of cool go behinds and high dropkicks and Alex Wright sure seemed really really good during these types of matches. How many times did Wright match up with guys like Finlay, Regal or Taylor?

2. Johnny Swinger vs. Disco Inferno

Everybody's favorite punching bag. Even Hudson rips into Swinger on commentary. This match wasn't much. Disco his a great leaping fist drop which I don't remember from his offense, and then follows it up with a missed sunset flip so that Swinger has to stumble backwards three steps and fall into it. Disco wins with a sloppy piledriver that barely looked a step above Brian Adams' piledriver.

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My Favorite Wrestling: WCW Worldwide 3/27/99 & 4/3/99

3/27/99

Holy lord, I have no idea where this episode was sourced from, what local feed from whatever state in America this was originally taped from, but I love local TV. And whomever originally recorded this episode of Worldwide in whatever state they live in, have a local news anchor named......STORM FIELD!!! Storm Motherfucking Field starts off this episode of Worldwide by pimping the March of Dimes, and it's really awesome that things are working out so well for him after leaving Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. I mean holy shit, Storm Field.

1. Barry Horowitz vs. Johnny Swinger

Damn Horowitz was a monster here! He comes out wearing his rad gold suspenders, and from there it is just a beatdown on poor Swinger. Swinger finally draws the card of someone other than Finlay or Regal, finally gonna get a chance to not get beaten within an inch of his life...and that's when Horowitz works stiffer than I have ever seen him work before. Just punching and chopping and elbowing and throwing dropkicks like Swinger was a trainee in Gaea Girls. I've always enjoyed Barry, but I need more of THIS Barry.

2. La Parka vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Yeah buddy! Always fun getting to watch these two do their thing. Crazy to think that 13 years later Parka is probably the most relevant guy out of these sets. I mean, he's one of the only guys who is still active, but he's also a major star. Not sure who would have predicted that in 1999. Here we get some fun dives, some dancing, and some big bumps. Who can hate?

4/3/99

You know this is going to be a fucking awesome episode because it starts out with a crowd pan and there is a woman in her 20s holding up a sign that says "Take me Back Stage". I guarantee you that sign and the ensuing events that assuredly happened were not even in the top 10 biggest mistakes that woman has made in her life.

1. Kendall Windham vs. Bobby Duncam Jr.

YESSS! Syndicated dream match for me right here. This had to have been right around when they started the West Texas Rednecks. I thought they had already started when I was in college, but I clearly must be wrong as there is no mention of them here. I wish this could have gotten 12 minutes, but it only goes about 3-4. Still, they cram a bunch in with both guys throwing bombs and the action going all over the ring, ending in a count out. I wish this match up was on every episode.

2. Kidman vs. Evan Karagias

And then we end the evening on this. Kidman matches are really fun when he's against somebody with great offense, because Kidman can bump like a complete lunatic. I'll level with you, Evan Karagias does not have great offense. Or good offense. Or...offense. So, this stank. Karagias was super awkward and not great at taking offense, and if you weren't great at taking offense then you may die against Kidman. Karagias does manage to powerbomb Kidman. It turns out the trick is to use a gutwrench. Evan cracked the code! Then he tried a regular powerbomb, Kidman reversed, and it somehow ended with Karagias flying face first into Kidman's knees. Kidman goes up for the shooting star and we all take bets on where Kidman will end up. My guess was "Kidman's chest/chin landing on Kargias' knees". Other guesses included "Kidman's knees on Karagias' chest". The winning answer was "Kidman's chest on Karagias' groin."

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My Favorite Wrestling: WCW Worldwide 11/5/95

1. Nasty Boys vs. Buddy Valentine/Johnny Swinger

I did not realize Swinger worked WCW this early. And here he had a mullet and mustache!!! That means for essentially 6 years in WCW, whenever a worker went to management and said "Hey, I really feel like stiffing a guy," then WCW management would say, "No problem! We'll give you Swinger!" And the Nasty Boys were guys who would stiff up jobbers occasionally. Although they don't really stiff up Valentine or Swinger here. They squash 'em good, but no real taking advantage of, which is what everybody watching at home (me) wanted.

2. The Shark vs. Vern Henderson

Rachel totally guessed that Tenta would be in the next match. She is fully immersed in WCW B-Sides now. It is a part of her. Tenta looked good here and call me crazy but I thought he looked cool with the balding up top/ponytail in the back look. Most human beings don't look cool with this look. Match was super short.

3. DDP vs. Cobra

Did anybody predict DDP becoming a massive star 2-3 years after this? Here he looks like an weird old dude with annoying hair and a bad singlet/tights combo, and 2 years later he was an old dude with annoying hair and tight jeans...but a totally deserving gigantic star. Just looking at these two, I would have guessed Jeff Farmer being a way bigger star. But then again I have no idea what I'm talking about. I thought Cobra had a cool look when I was 13. I love after this match when Craig Pittman comes out to distract Cobra and start a feud. The thing is, I don't remember ever seeing Cobra win a match EVER, so it's odd for a guy who is a strongly booked TV presence to come out and start menacing a consistent loser. Seems a bit like piling on. Like the Yankees bunting and doing a double steal against the Astros in the 9th inning of a game they're winning 9-1.

4. Steve/Scott Armstrong/Tim Horner vs. Brian Pillman/Arn Anderson/Ric Flair

These kind of matches are probably the best thing possible about these sets. You have three guys who nobody has ever seen take a pin on TV, vs. 3 of the bigger stars of the 90s, and 75% of the match is the Horsemen showing ass for Armstrongs/Horner. I don't know if it's because hierarchies aren't as strong today or the egos of the guys on top are just that much bigger that they don't want to look weak, but these type of matches just don't exist any more on TV. I think I was so confused by the Armstrongs running roughshod over Arn and Pillman that it took me like 3 minutes to realize Tim Horner was not in fact Bobby Eaton. I'm pretty sure for 3 minutes I was just non-stop talking about how I didn't realize Eaton ever wore trunks this late into his career. "I don't remember the last time I saw Eaton NOT wearing tights, you know? I assumed he had hideously scarred legs, but they're just normal super white Eaton legs you know? you know?!?!" Then Tim Horner came in and threw an arm drag and I was like Ohhhhhhhhh. Because only in wrestling can you have a guy with the worst haircut possible, and have there be another guy in the same room with the exact same haircut.

Anyway, the match was fucking boss because it's not the Armstrongs and Tim Horner getting squashed by Kevin Sullivan and Hugh Morrus, it's the Armstrongs and Tim Horner getting to squash the motherfucking Horsemen while the Horsemen have to desperately cheat to scrape out a victory, so who couldn't cheer like mad while watching it!?

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ECW Hardcore Justice!! Report

When I first got back into wrestling around 1997, I became a huge fan of ECW. Because of ECW I started tape trading, and it opened my wrestling world up to puro and lucha and helped turn wrestling into an obsession for me. I didn't have too much nostalgia for it at the end, but thought the One Night Stand show a few years after was a fun idea that provided a good atmosphere (and I really dug the Funk tag from the 2nd one). But there wasn't anything when the ppv ended that made me think "Man, I wish we could relive these days more often." But damn if I didn't start getting really excited when this TNA version came about.

Now, in fairness to you dear reader, I'm not really sure WHY I got so excited for this ppv. I know a large portion of my glee was because TNA was devoting one of its 12 yearly ppvs to a promotion that is entirely owned by its competition, and I am still endlessly tickled by that. This was entirely a commercial for something that they cannot profit off of! They paid their own money, to hopefully turn people onto a wrestling product that WWE is currently making money off of! "If you liked these matches, you should consider subscribing to WWE 24/7, or picking up one of the many ECW DVDs they've released." I cannot wrap my head around ANY of that, no matter how hard I try. Owl City didn't come out with an album under the name "Fed Ex" and take breaks between songs to say things like "If you dug that track, you should consider giving money to Ben Gibbard, and Sub Pop, and dating a girl with S.A.D., and taking a trip to Seattle." Nope, he just made an album that sounded like really bad Postal Service, presented it to people that had never heard Postal Service, and made a good deal of money.

But bands cover other bands all the time. Small acts cover legendary acts, legendary acts cover obscure acts, and they'd probably be tickled if fans then went out and discovered those covered acts. But a cover and a blatant rip-off are two different things. Kurt Cobain would probably be elated to see the Vaselines make a 2009 comeback (were they ever even here?) when most people only knew they existed because of "Molly's Lips". He would probably be less excited to see Sponge make a comeback (since they were essentially a Bush cover band, who were a Nirvana cover band). But they were all able to exist and they were all able to make money and fans of Sponge didn't care that they were a really bad Nirvana, they just really liked "Plowed". But TNA isn't merely ripping off a rip off.

TNA's scenario would be more if Nirvana and Sponge were the only two bands in existence, and Nirvana owned the Vaselines back cataloge, and Nirvana was gobbling up 95% of the music industry money, and Sponge had a really rough 10 years, losing a bunch of money, but then decided to do a small club tour doing nothing but Vaselines songs, but they couldn't record any of the shows, and they couldn't promote the tour as them playing Vaselines songs since they didn't own them, and it wasn't a sold tour, so they had to pay for everything themselves....then....

What the fuck am I even talking about!? It should be obvious to everyone involved that this ppv was a collossally shitty idea, with minimal chance to make money short term, and zero chance to make money long term for them, all while positioning their own company as a #2 to a fed that lasted about as long as they have and has been dead for years.

They wanted Jerry Lynn to headline the ppv, which makes no sense as he was in TNA longer than he was in ECW, and they never felt he was a headliner while he was IN TNA, and they could have signed him back at any point over the last 3 years, but had no interest in him! And suddenly they want him to headline!

I just don't get it. Nobody was clamoring for this, and they appeared to not even be sure what the fans wanted. As far as reunions go, the 1997 Dukes of Hazzard reunion was booked far better. They knew what the fans wanted, and presented the characters with satisfying backstories: Bo was a race car driver, Luke was a fucking parachuting forest fireman, Daisy was divorced and getting her PhD (meaning she was both smart AND sexually available), Jesse was the Grand Marshal for the reunion, Enos was with the LAPD, Cooter's a Congressman, etc. If something was different, they addressed it directly: No Boar's Nest? It burned down. Sorrell Booke died years earlier? Well, Boss Hogg done passed away from stress, but he wrote a book about grifting before he went! No Waylon Jennings? Have Bo and Luke make a new song detailing all the fine memories they created. Denver Pyle has lung cancer? Throw a wig and a beard and a fucking fat suit on him and pretend he's still the same ol' Uncle Jesse!

In the end, CBS presented these characters in ways that fans would fondly remember them. They didn't bring out fucking Coy and Vance and poke fun at what a shitty idea this was. CBS didn't call attention to how disappointing it was to not have Boss Hogg. TNA would've been far better off pretending Paul Heyman was dead, instead of Dixie tweeting about the contract negotiations between them and the fat, excitable, bald man in a suit who runs the town. She should've just written Boss Hogg out of it. CBS knew that Tom Wopat and John Schneider still looked good, and the fans were happy that Catherine Bach still looked great in shorts. TNA didn't even bother to have people get in something resembling shape.

I.. just...don't...get this ppv!

But I was excited for it (mostly for all the wrong reasons, essentially to laugh and laugh at TNA and their continual blunders), as excited as I would be for ANYthing featuring Tracy Smothers, Scorpio, or CW. So here we go. I'll keep the rest of this short.

1. Tracey Smothers/Little Guido/Tony Luke w/ Big Sal vs. Kid Kash/Simon Diamond/Johnny Swinger

Smothers is like James Woods, I'll pretty much watch him in anything. Guido looks good and so does Mamaluke. Kash looks the same as last time I saw him, and Diamond is so fat that Tazz tells him to invest in a singlet. When you're so fat that Tazzzz is calling you out, time to take a good long look in the mirror. No Mitch, Muskateer, Dick Hurtz. Diamond threw some nice punches and Smothers did his awesome Smothers-Fu, Mamaluke took a big bump to the floor and a nasty bump into the corner, Kash got crazy distance on his springboard dive, Mamaluke hit a great missile dropkick that the camera mostly missed (since TNA cameramen still don't actually know how to film wrestling) and Guido actually gets the pin! Fun stuff.

We do some video promo/memories segments that are all really strange.

Gary Wolfe is apparently still alive. I figured him for dead years ago. And he apparently has prior commitments. So he couldn't be there. And his titties are more on display than Francine's. Good lord his gynecomastia is out of control and in our face.

Blue Meanie treats his promo as if he's doing a "good luck to the bride and groom" video at a wedding, or a video yearbook on the last day of school.

Then TNA guys talk really unconvincingly about what "that promotion" meant to them.

2. CW Anderson vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

This was actually a match I had hoped would happen and we're pretty much through all the announced names I was excited about at this point. This match was legitimately awesome, though. I'm not sure how these two have not found themselves in a regular promotion. The punch exchanges looked great and were capped off by CW's AWESOME left hand that Scorpio sold perfectly. His thousand yard stare afterwards was the best. Scorpio is one of my favorite workers of all time, as his flying offense ALWAYS looks super impactful and hits the mark most of the time. Here, the tumbleweed looked great, the missed moonsault was nice, and the moonsault legdrop was awesome. CW was totally game here and this was just constant fun. Alvarez said the fans were trying hard to be polite during this one and I am completely puzzled as this was EASILY the best TNA match I have seen since JJ/Angle from 1/09. This easily smoked TNA's last 18 months.

RVD really coulda put on some shorts or something during his promo while he iced his sac.

3. PJ Polaco vs. Stevie Richards

This was pretty decent, but it was kinda poor booking. Both are wrestlers with little offense who were really good bumpers, so not too shocking to me that there wasn't a lot of offense here. Stevie took PJ's DDT nicely, and the end superkick was cleverly hit during the middle of PJ spouting his catchphrase, acting as Jerry McDevitt slapping a C&D right under TNA's chin.

4. Brother Runt vs. Al Snow vs. Rhyno

Boy...I just don't remember much of this. Huh. I mean, there is just nothing that sticks with me here. I remember Spike taking the Gore really nicely at the end...nope, I got nothing on this one.

Francine looked really nice. The further away she gets from wrestling, the better she looks. "I was gonna be there to relive the days of me getting piledriven while fans chant something about my cunt. But I guess I'm doing OK here with my family and my flattering age-appropriate hair cut. I really miss those days, guys, seriously!"

Cut to TNA workers having a really fucking boring Nitro Party during the show.

5. Dudleys vs. Kahoneys/Axl Rotten

Axl Rotten looks like Frank Mir after a twinkie-assisted depression-addled post-Brock/Carwin loss bender, and he can't move very much, but his punches still somehow suck less dick than Mick Foley's later in the show. Balls was the correct answer for "Who has the worst meth teeth from ECW". I know many of you had a lot of money riding on Bill Alphonso. I'm sorry. Balls is winner. Brother Ray's super face plants ruled and most of this sucked and then New Jack came out to hit people and then hug them and then talk about raping other people. I thought Bubba sold the lightsaber stabbing really well. The camera shot it really nicely from the opposite side, really looked like that thing went right through him.

6. Raven vs. Tommy Dreamer

Wow, this felt really really long. Raven hit a really nice kick while they were brawling in front of 4 year olds. Those daughters faces really said "Fuck is our dad a loser. We wore our nice matching summer dresses for this!?" They both looked alright taking the drop toe hold onto stuff and I actually enjoyed the ending story of "Raven gets the win, but Tommy has a nice wife and family". I'm not sure if Taz picked up on that, he was fucking terrible tonight. Buuuuuut not as terrible as Mick Foley's punches. I think it is beyond safe to say that Mick Foley now has the shittiest punches in wrestling, even shittier than Abyss. I mean, Abyss' punches are insanely, impossibly bad, looking like a cross between a confused teen doing a sieg heil and a girl weakly throwing a baseball. But Foley's 2010 punches? Holy shit, I have zero idea what he's even going for with these things. He appears to be aiming his wrist at the space 6" above his opponent's forehead, throwing it horizontally and with no clear intention to come close to the person's head. I'm just dumbfounded at what those things could possibly be. He can't be miming punches. He cannot be doing any sort of approximation of fist-based violence towards his opponent. So somebody PLEASE help me. What was Mick Foley doing? What were those supposed to be? And while you're at it, please explain to me what Kofi Kingston is doing what he's supposed to be doing 10 count corner punches. I have no idea what the fuck those are supposed to be either.

7. RVD vs. Sabu

Ah, I missed the days of RVD setting people up in precarious spots and then making them awkwardly hold their position while he posed and chatted with fans while setting up the spot, then eventually hit the spot. Sabu was awesome because he would sit in awkward positions while RVD hit his shit, then he would just get up and punch back to offense. Sabu hits a great dive into the crowd, RVD takes years to set up spots, Sabu gets monkeyflipped onto the edge of a chair and somehow Taz fucks that up! "He was aiming for the center of the chair, and he kinda sorta hit his elbow on the side of it, but not really what they were going for." Fuck, really!? That's the guy getting over your talent? This shit doesn't really hurt! Teacher, you forgot to give us homework! You usually give us homework, and class is almost over and you haven't given it to us yet! What a doofus.

Post show Dixie looks like THEE biggest money mark in the history of wrestling. Bubba motorboats her and carries her around the ring, and she is sooooooo stoked to be one of the boys in the back. I was praying for the show to end with her getting 3Dd and then piledriven through a table by Rhyno. ECW wasn't about being thankful for women!

Man. This show. Why? Why!?

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