WWE Money in the Bank Mother's Day Live Blog

I visited my mother yesterday (my parents are hell on a 6' space, my calves are burning from all the backpedaling I kept having to do) and gave her a cool gift, so that excuses me to watch wrestling of potentially questionable quality on her special day. Let's hope for something good out of this show so that I can at least justify my not calling her to hear repeated stories about dumb things my father has done during quarantine.


Jeff Hardy vs. Cesaro

ER: So Hardy misses an entire year with an injury, they bring him back to Smackdown two months ago, spent the interim showing weekly documentaries about his rehabilitation (which hardly anyone gets, let alone several weeks of them), and then put him on the pre-show? I know that card placement matters less in no crowd era, but it's still really odd. It doesn't really matter to me, as the pre-show are almost always good, and they're worked in a way that makes them feel like good Velocity or 09-10 Superstars matches. They almost always hit the match length sweet spot and the layouts always feel so much less produced than main show matches. That feels like it shouldn't be the case, but there's too much of a sample size at this point. And this was really good! This was a much better singles match than I expected Hardy to physically be able of delivering at this point, but the longest straight time off of his career seems to have really done him good. He's moving quicker and more fluidly than he has in the past many years, but he's still taking the same level of awkward painful bumps so I'll just enjoy this while it lasts. He works quick enough here to convincingly fluster Cesaro, but you knew the best moments of this would revolve around what Cesaro does once he catches him. Cesaro catches him leaping off the ring steps and splats him ribs first over the barricade, later shoves him hard hip first into the ring apron. Hardy always seems to take damage on the least padded parts of the human body. Hardy's hard landings here were really entertaining, loved how Cesaro played off him (his big Fuerza bump over Hardy on the ropes was awesome), really liked all of this.

Big E/Kofi Kingston vs. Gran Metalik/Lince Dorado vs. The Miz/John Morrison vs. Wesley Blake/Steve Cutler

ER: This was good, but it feels like I've been seeing this exact match every week for the past several weeks. When they were running this on TV I just assumed the PPV version would have some extra gimmick or stipulation, but it was just longer. Still it was good overall, not always the tightest multiman, not always the pairings I wanted to see, but good. I really like Forgotten Sons, and I realize I'm in the minority on that. Gimmicks aren't the thing that sells me on a worker, ring work is the main thing I care about, and their ring work is more interesting than most teams in WWE. Their double teams are rock solid, neither skimp on small things (Cutler has far better stomps and kicks to the stomach than anyone else in the match), but also add in big bumps (Blake is always good for at least one big bump to the floor per match). Also, big fan of their double team hiptoss to an opponent draped over the ropes, and they're good at coming up with logical spots like that. I'm completely tired by the Miz/Morrison team at this point, and New Day isn't far behind them on people I wish were featured less. But it's cool seeing them work with the Sons and LHP. Dorado and Morrison pulled off a cool dragon rana, Metalik looked awesome with his while hair flowing around his mask (while working too fast for Kofi who looked like a stumblebum side by side), we got a big Morrison Spanish fly to the floor (while far more people than necessary awkardly stood around like goobs), and this was plenty good.

R-Truth vs. Bobby Lashley

ER: This match was nothing anyway, throwaway match as part of a feud I could not care about, so it's not much of a crime that I was distracted throughout this. Because once I noticed that the announcers ONLY refer to Bobby Lashley as "Bobby Lashley", it was all I could concentrate on. This is a promotion that has been weirdly obsessed with changing someone's name to a single word name, and yet we can't go through ANY part of the match with hearing "Lashley with the slam" or "Lashley with the pin", it ALWAYS has to be "Bobby Lashley with the pin!" Bobby Lashley, Bobby Lashley, Bobby Lashley. They could not stop saying this man's full fucking Christian name for 5 seconds. Nobody else gets this treatment. They either lose one of their names entirely, getting called - very normally - by ONLY their last name in a match because we know who this person is at this point, or have some kind of nickname that you can alternate with (Roman with the slam! The Big Dog with the spear!). But they can only and ever call this one person by their full name. Whose direction is this, any why? This can not be an accident and now we all have ONE MORE reason to hate Bobby Lashley segments.

Bayley vs. Tamina

ER: You have seen me write about this before, and as long as they keep doing it every year I will continue writing about it, but I cannot stand the 2-4 month period of every one of the last 10 years that WWE insists on telling us that Tamina matters and we need to be serious about Tamina and here's your yearly Tamina PPV match challenging for a title before we realize "well she's still Tamina so we didn't learn". There were people like Ruby Riott, Liv Morgan, and Sarah Logan, the former who was returning from a long injury, the latter two who have been quietly overdelivering on syndicated TV matches and house shows for years...but we're going for our 10th go round on Tamina, so you gals will have to back up a bit. You can tell she's really trying, but every year it's the same bad gear and the same way of cumbersomely getting into position for opponent offense. However, this was a real class Bayley performance, as her working aggressively and outpacing the larger Tamina made the match much more interesting than it should have been, and made Tamina's monster moments feel bigger because it's not just her badly dominating a match, it's her using a couple things in spurts. Bayley outsmarts her and it makes Bayley getting the tables turned into some interesting stuff. Bayley bumps big for her when she does eventually go on the rampage, including a big flying bump over the announce table. Tamina still comes off klutzy throughout, but the layout is really smart and she at least does her best within the layout. She does a clumsy missed superkick, but the spot is Bayley catching it and turning it into a kneebar, so her clumsy kick wasn't the important thing in the spot. The match felt carefully constructed to be about spots where her clumsiness was out of the way quickly because it set up something better from Bayley. Bayley's high cradle finish looked great, a legit pin that looked like anyone on the roster would have had a hard time kicking out of, and it went just the right amount of time. Post match is even good, with Tamina immediately picking up Bayley for a samoan drop after losing, but Sasha drops her with a great chop block and then throws a stiff kick to her chest in high heel boots. I'm calling this an easy best case scenario for a Tamina singles match, could not imagine a better version of this particular match.

Braun Strowman vs. Bray Wyatt

ER: I'm happy this was kept short, I just can't get into Bray Wyatt. I actually liked the Fire Fly match, but it's not enough to buy him any kind of goodwill. Still, this was kept short and that's good. Strowman took a few really cool big man bumps (great missed charge into and over the announce table, real sturdy shoulderblock getting thrown into the ring steps), and then got in the ring and got hugged for a long time so I could look at Twitter for a bit. Then Strowman finished him, and I like that.  But honestly this had the same amount of time to do something as Bayley/Tamina had, and this came nowhere close to accomplishing what they did.

Drew McIntyre vs. Seth Rollins

ER: Didn't feel like this one, but I'm sure Rollins talked about his destiny several times and had a Seth Rollins match, which I'm sure are for somebody. I feel bad for McIntyre that this is how his title reign is going, but I wish him the best. I saw the finish of Seth Rolling hitting a superkick by being bounced into the ropes by a nice headbutt, and the superkick causing McIntyre to bounce into the ropes and hit the Claymore kick. Claymore kick looked good, but guys hitting moves because they got hit by moves is the dumbest most played out shit at this point.

Money in the Bank

ER: Oh my god they're doing the Money in the Bank matches CONCURRENTLY!? This has potential to be a tremendous trainwreck, one of those ideas like World War 3 that you can't focus on anything. But World War 3 could have had great potential as a recorded match, as the worst thing about it was knowing there was probably something cool happening somewhere in those 3 rings, and you were likely missing it. Filming one of those and showing the finished product with the best moments chosen from the camera angles would have been a way more successful version of that match. The whole thing has this fake Michael Kamen score that makes it feel like a bunch of backyarders made a movie combining Die Hard and Rat Race. The comedy doesn't work anywhere near as consistently as in Rat Race, but there were tons of great moments and a fantastic lead performance from Otis. The cameo jokes were almost all poorly written (Stephanie plays comedy too smarmy and broad, Brother Love stuff felt forced and pointless, Johnny Ace at least at a pie to the face well), but I smiled a lot and laughed a few times. Otis is the guy who really went for it, and really it shouldn't be much of a surprise that he thrived here. He's someone who can do Looney Tunes spot well, and was constantly saying funny stuff like in the weight room before the match started where he was just saying "sets and reps, sets and reps". It was funny hearing Carmella's sneakers breaking silence with different sounds, milking a squeaky waxed lobby floor for laughs and then doing the same by doing an overly long moonwalk on office carpet. Otis absolutely plastered Heyman with a dish in catering, and Heyman mugged while covered in sticky rice. Otis and Nia smash Rey between their bodies, Dana Brooke slips on a wet floor and is never seen again, Shayna weirdly feels like the least featured person in the match, and things get decidedly less fun once they get out on the roof. The roof stuff was fairly uninspired, other than two casual murders that never get mentioned again. I'm happy with the two winners, as I wouldn't have had money on Asuka or Otis, but think that those two have been two of the best performers of the silent era. I like when matches seem to reward performance.


This show went by quickly (though there was some small help from the fast forward during the Rollins match) and had no high end matches, but had some nice performances, some over-deliveries, slightly better than expected overall.

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WWE Big 3: Lorcan, Gallagher, Gulak 2019 Catch-Up

Oney Lorcan vs. Ariya Daivari 205 Live 4/23/19

ER: Another of those oddball 205 matches that get 18 minutes but could have been super effective with 9 minutes. I liked what they did here, and liked that the first 12 minutes were low offense and much more about what moves didn't hit than what moves did hit. The bulk of the match hinged around two big Lorcan spills to the floor: the first time getting a dive blocked by a Daivari forearm and later taking a big backdrop tumble. Those misses were much bigger than any hits in the first 2/3 of this, with Daivari trying a couple times for his million dollar dream sleeper and once early for his hammerlock lariat. This was mostly two guys canceling each other out, like we were getting Stevie Richards vs. Stevie Richards. And I'm into that match structure, but it probably went longer than they needed it to. Around the 12 minute mark things picked up and started grabbing the fans in the arena, with a big Lorcan pescado and Lorcan stuff like his running blockbuster and flying uppercut that always gets a good reaction. They really kept the big highspots out of this match, and it was a cool experiment to see how long you can work a match around non-sequences. But it was hard recovering them after the long draw they put them through, and amusingly after avoiding big moves all match, Lorcan goes for the half nelson suplex OFF THE TOP! But he gets knocked off, and while Daivari's finishing sequence of a frog splash and hammerlock lariat is a nice one, I can't imagine too many were excited for the Tony Nese vs. Daivari match this set up.

Drew Gulak vs. KUSHIDA NXT 5/1 (Aired 5/29/19)

ER: Gulak and Kushida working a submissions match on NXT not long after this was one of the impetus that drove us to start The Big 3 project. And I like how much of this match was spent going after submissions, a nice logical jump for them to just do a Submissions Only match a couple weeks later. That match had problems, like a goofy Malenko/Guerrero sequence (in a match with no pinfalls) and this one was more coherent without specific guidelines they were playing within. But this one also didn't hit the peaks of the Submissions Match, and I think both matches hit their valleys because of Kushida's business. The first half of this was great, just both guys trying to force the other into hard fought pinfalls or trying to slowly bend a limb into a sub. Neither had easy paths to locking in a sub or getting a pin, so I dug them just trying to use leverage to force shoulders to mat instead of going right into the big spots. And it was when they started going into more typical Kushida offense that it got less interesting. There was a lot of interrupted rope running and blocked strikes spinning Gulak into Kushida Trademark Offense, and the early match submissions that were so engaging gave way to the Kushida mindset of "this is how I always set up my sit out hiptoss cross armbreaker". We also got a weird moment of Kushida and Gulak grunting at each other while going for submissions, and it felt like an extension of that thing where indy workers are too scared to say something stupid to the crowd, that they just silently pump their fists and open their mouth as if the people in the crowd were watching them on TV. I liked Gulak catching Kushida in a fireman's carry gutbuster after Kushida overshot him running ropes, and I liked Kushida trying to force Gulak's wrist into the hoverboard lock, but the Gedo clutch felt like a silly way to end a match where actual forced amateur pinfalls couldn't get a 1 count.

Oney Lorcan/Danny Burch vs. Wesley Blake/Steve Cutler NXT 5/1 (Aired 5/29/19)

ER: This only goes a couple minutes before a Street Profits run in, definitely much more of an angle than a match (these teams were all in a fantastic ladder match at the TakeOver a few days after this aired), which is kind of a drag just because I know there is a killer Forgotten Sons vs. Lorcan/Burch tag match just waiting to happen. This was fiery as hell and I don't even think Lorcan got involved in the short runtime. Burch started things off by sending Blake flying into the buckles with a big running dropkick - both Cutler and Blake are really great about flying into guys and away from guys - and Blake fires back after some Ryker interference and absolutely brains Burch with a lariat to the back of the head.

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WWE Big 3: Lorcan, Gallagher, Gulak 12/22-12/28 + Bonus Lorcan

NXT 12/20 (Aired 12/25/19)

Jack Gallagher vs. Isaiah Scott

ER: I really appreciate what Gallagher did here, as this was a super selfless 15 minutes where he basically offers to give Scott 13 of those minutes, while finding interesting ways to get into Scott's overly complicated offense. Scott's offense often feels like he's doing a straight faced imitation of 2007 Chris Hero doing overly complicated athletic Jersey All Pro spots to confuse Japanese audiences. Scott saw a NOAH match of Hero's and liked the idea of doing a back handspring into a tuck and roll into an elbowdrop. And here's Gallagher, finding interesting ways to set up an Eliminators showcase. Most Scott matches are no different than those Eliminators showcases, where they wouldn't know how to get their opponents naturally into position for their complicated double teams so they would just move them as if their opponents were mannequins and then do the move. Scott requires opponents to take a lot of walks and turn a lot of unnatural directions just to get into position for the move, and Gallagher might have been the best I've seen at doing so. Gallagher was finding interesting twists to set up Scott's convoluted horse shit, like taking a huge backdrop bump to the floor that was to set up Scott's punt from the apron, and instead of rushing right back into place to get kicked in the face, Gallagher instead looked disoriented, heading the opposite way of Scott to see nobody was there, only to turn around and take the kick to the head. He threw two different turns into the spot that most wouldn't take the time to do, and that's what sets Gallagher apart from others. Gallagher spent the match doing little things like that, setting up offense across the ring because that's where he had to be to take Scott's stupid flipping cutter, trying to work a standing armbar so that Scott could show off a strong backbreaker, really the whole match felt like Gallagher was trying to get his buddy noticed, and that kind of selfless behavior should just make sure Gallagher himself gets noticed. He had some great individual stuff, loved the nearfall he got off the rebound headbutt, and couldn't help but admire the way he flew hard into every single landing. For his part, Scott paid occasional lip service to a sore shoulder he got from being tossed into the turnbuckle, but it sure didn't seem to slow him down any.


NXT 4/10 (Aired 5/1/19)

Oney Lorcan/Danny Burch/Humberto Carrillo vs. Jaxson Ryker/Wesley Blake/Steve Cutler

ER: This ruled!! Forgotten Sons are a team I really dig who don't seem to get much praise. I'm not sure why that is. Lorcan starts this whole thing off by throwing his body into the Sons like only Lorcan can do, throws big chops, and smashes Blake with an uppercut that sends him to the floor  (with a great bump). Jaxson Ryker has a stupid name, but the guy has always been better than he's ever given credit for. He comes off like a wild eyed psycho leader of a gang, and that's exactly how he should be coming off. He bumps big (his fast bump through the ropes looked like it would have caused a muscle tear) but hits back twice as hard, and I love how Cutler and Blake do his dirty work while he comes in to finish the job. Cutler may take a big floating armdrag from Carrillo, but he doesn't even see it coming when Ryker catches him with a spinebuster. I like Ryker's hammer fist ground and pound and loves how he balances the roles of opportunist and sadist. Blake and Cutler are real fun flunkies, love their tandem hiptoss that flattened Carrillo over the middle rope, love how they stooge around and bump for Burch's big hot tag, love how they get clobbered when Lorcan flies into them with a tope con giro, they're just fun. The Sons run some misdirection and Carrillo accidentally hits Lorcan with a dive (sending Lorcan sprawling up the entrance), and we get a great final walking tall moment where Burch is left alone in the ring with all three Sons. Burch fights them valiantly before falling to the numbers game, and we are left with a 7 minute match that told several stories, never slowed up, and showed a cohesive and untapped team in the Forgotten Sons. This match aired almost 8 months ago, and Ryker has had only 4 TV matches since. Stupid. How long until The Big 3 is just me writing about Forgotten Sons matches?

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WWE Big 3: Lorcan, Gallagher, Gulak 2019 Catch-Up

None of the Big 3 appeared on WWE TV this week, so I will continue looking back at matches of theirs I missed in 2019, filling in those blanks.

Drew Gulak vs. Eric Bugenhagen NXT 1/30 (Aired 2/6/19)

ER: This was my first time actually seeing Bugenhagen, and I dig the vibe. A less grating, more natural fit Adam Rose. This was obviously going to be a Gulak showcase, and it was that, while also giving Bugenhagen a couple decent moments. He wanted to rock, Gulak wanted to throw boots, both got their wish. Holding an abdominal stretch while doing a Pete Townshend windmill is a good spot for the gimmick, I like his look and I like his era appropriate tights. Gulak was the sadistic parent filled with Satanic Panic worry, jumping off the ropes with hard stomps to Bugenhagen's chest, tossing him with suplexes, locking on that sick body vice dragon sleeper for the win. This was short, and the right mixture of violence with goof off. 

Oney Lorcan/Danny Burch vs. The Forgotten Sons (Wesley Blake/Steve Cutler) NXT 2/20 (Aired 3/6/19)

ER: Cool go go go match with Forgotten Sons working over Lorcan's back early, and then continuing to take their shots at it whenever they could. Lorcan is a fun guy to fight through a back injury, and I liked the ways it extended the match. Lorcan and Burch always felt like they were fighting from underneath, a regular role for them, and one they excel at. The back work was simple, just Blake throwing forearms at Lorcan's back, working some big stomps off the ropes, and I dug how it kept paying off the longer the match went. It's easy to work a simple moment like Lorcan not being able to lift an opponent, leading to Burch getting waylaid, and the Sons have a lot of offense to waylay someone. Burch had several impressive moments, mainly working his schtick around members of the Large Adult Sons getting in his way. There was on section where he dropped both of them with German suplexes, noticed one of them had rolled into the way of where he was throwing the next one, so pivoted his hips and threw his next German diagonally so he wouldn't cause a brutal crash landing. That's pro. Cutler also rolled into the way of Burch's kip up, and Burch spun slightly on his back to change the kip up direction. It's impressive when a guy is that aware of his opponents' replacement and doesn't just go stumbling through everything. Lorcan had a cool comeback where he flew hard into uppercuts and hit his wild flip dive, but I dug how things wrapped up by him getting caught in a powerbomb, throwing him right into knees. Forgotten Sons have some cool double teams, I liked this match up a lot. 

Jack Gallagher/Drew Gulak/Humberto Carrillo vs. Gran Metalik/Kalisto/Lince Dorado 205 Live 3/26/19

ER: This was okay, but Lucha House Party came off pretty sluggish in spots, really low energy for guys who are supposed to be super fast exciting spot machines. Even their Lu-Cha chants felt like they were moving their arms through cement, and the layout wasn't very interesting at all. The LHP showcase moments were pretty bland, even with an occasional nice spot (like Metalik's always nice tornillo). It got interesting for a bit when Gallagher made Dorado slip on the apron by yanking on the ring skirt, allowing Gulak to dropkick Dorado to the floor, where Gallagher threw a couple punches to his ear. The Gulak control portions were the only part of this I was really into. Gallagher felt really underused, and when he was in he was always opposite Lince Dorado, who kept throwing off the timing of everything. They tried for a big car crash moment to end things, and they couldn't even do a lot of that right. They build to a big tower of doom spot where Carrillo and Gulak get powerbombed by Metalik which also sends Kalisto taking the worst of it with a massive superplex. But of course, due to the way they laid out the car crash spot, Kalisto was right back hopping into action about 10 seconds later. Dorado flinches while taking Gallagher's big headbutt, so even Gallagher's big spot in the match doesn't end up looking like much. This was another 15 minute 205 Live match that fell way short of what it should have been. The 6 man tag feels like one of the easier formats to deliver a banging 15 minute match, and most of the 205 Live 6 mans are just a drag. You should, in theory, be able to throw any 6 people from the WWE roster in a match, give them 15 minutes, and have a fun match at the other side. But somehow this is rarely the case on 205. It's really weird.

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NXT TakeOver: XXV 6/1/19

I spent the day up at my parents' place as my sister was in town, and now after hearing my mother tell me in detail about her 50th class reunion three different times, as well as hearing a 20 minute story about how she had a very normal trip to the supermarket, I'm ready to just write as much as I can about tonight's TakeOver as I can before I drift off to slumberland. Whatever I don't finish tonight I will finish tomorrow when I wake up.

Roderick Strong vs. Matt Riddle

ER: Totally wild stiff overkill battle, a match that kept things interesting with inventive reversals and showcasing several ways for men to land knees and elbows to faces. Riddle is a guy who looks like he could really eat Strong's lunch, and yet three minutes into this Strong is dropping Riddle on the apron with a fast backdrop suplex and hammerfisting him in the stomach from the mount I find myself wondering "How is Riddle going to last against this!?" Both guys land such jaw jacking shots that I'm not always sure how they stay standing in a long match, but when I get Riddle dragging Strong by the arm chin first into his knee, or Strong hitting an insane running jumping knee into the ropes, I just want more. Both men move so fast, and land so hard, that it really adds to everything they do. Riddle scrambling down out of a press and locking in a choke, Strong landing a couple hard backbreakers, Riddle landing flush onto Strong's knees on a twisting press, Strong bouncing back and forth off the ropes with hard elbows, Riddle flinging Strong with a German suplex, A top rope superplex from Strong, it's all done with such speed and precision that they always seem a millimeter away from stopping a match due to brain bruising. They never get trapped in a strike loop, they always advance, and I'm never quite sure where every sequence is going. I don't really mind the way these two do overkill, because some of the stiffer sequences just impress me that they're able to keep going, and while somethings weren't as focused as other big matches from these two, I thought they did a great job at building the threat and the violence. Hot start to a show.

Street Profits (Montez Ford/Angelo Dawkins) vs. Forgotten Sons (Wesley Blake/Steve Cutler) vs. Oney Lorcan/Danny Burch vs. Kyle O'Reilly/Bobby Fish

ER: They're really letting matches go long on this show so far. This one probably goes a little too long and features a definitely too long run in from Forgotten Son Jaxson Ryder (and really someone who has that name is probably overstaying every life situation they're ever in), but also has a bunch of crazy stuff on par with most of the crazy stuff in the MITB matches two weeks ago. It genuinely felt like everybody in this match had several opportunities to fit in a couple crazy spots and a couple crazy bumps, like they were all filling quotas. I really liked Forgotten Sons, both guys really exited the ring in dynamic ways when they needed to clear space, and they willingly threw themselves into getting suplexed while wearing a ladder around their necks, or Blake doing a tope INTO a ladder. Montez Ford had some big stuff (overall I thought the Profits came off like a team who kind of snaked a victory, which is weird since they were the favorites going in) including a frog splash so big that it sent him vertical into a perfect headstand and a tope con hilo with a painful landing (a LOT of dives in this match had painful landings, felt like every guy here was taking flat back bumps onto the hard ground), even does a bonkers leap from the top rope to a ladder. Lorcan used his body as a weapon and flung it into people and ladders, Fish and O'Reilly took some nasty spills into ladders, Dawkins hit a huge dive to the floor, O'Reilly may have taken the most painful bumps onto ladders (and another where he just took a big Hamrick back bump from ring to floor), and this whole thing was pretty crazy. This show is a pretty easy 2/2 for me so far, every guy is working this show like it's their WrestleMania or something. Trying to take buzz away from AEW? I don't know but whatever it is I dig it.

Tyler Breeze vs. Velveteen Dream

ER: Breeze is someone I thought was one of the most consistently good performers in NXT history, who got kind of predictably chewed up on the main roster. He's a guy who showed he was really good at 8-11 minute matches, a guy who could have been a real valuable Smackdown TV match guy, who never got much of a chance to work the kind of match he's really good at. So on paper I'm excited as hell for this match, and really WWE should be more willing to send people back down to NXT if things aren't working out. MLB teams do that all the time, send a guy back to work on mechanics before giving them another shake. It doesn't have to be seen as a negative, but it obviously always will be. And I thought this match was pretty awesome, while also thinking that they probably had more than enough tricks and moments for a rematch, and I think they took to much time fitting them all into this match. This was a really good 18 minutes that I think could have been a flat out awesome 14 minutes. Breeze is a guy with a limited offense arsenal, who finds cool logical ways to create openings and reverse moves. I don't think a lot of his stuff feels like a modern do-si-do dance sequence reversal, he just finds simple ways to dodge and strike fast. Breeze is one of the better guys about making space, about not rushing through sequences, and he comes off more like a solid Stevie Richards type than a modern 2.9 count guy. His simple stuff hits hard and he finds ways to smartly get into position for Dream's offense, while having an impressive sense of when a strike doesn't land as hard and thus doesn't need to be sold as hard.

Because of that skill we got a few sequences that weren't really "clean" but I think benefitted from looking messier. Dream threw a backhand that didn't really land, but followed it up quick with a shot from the other direction that landed much harder, and Breeze knew exactly how to play it. Dream is someone who throws a lot of his body into shots, so when one doesn't hit flush it can look silly, and Breeze is a perfect guy to cover for that kind of flash. I love how Breeze doesn't skimp on shots and doesn't cut corners. Weirdly my favorite part of the match was when Breeze was setting up a superkick, but opted for just a simple (killer looking) front kick to the face to set up the kick. We've seen superkick overkill for a few years now and I thought it was cool that Breeze didn't just go right to it, he kicked Dream into a better position for it. Even though I thought we got maybe two too many kickouts, I thought the placements of them rolling out of the ring and working count outs was really well done, and I thought a lot of the reversal sequences looked cool because they didn't look overly smooth. Dream has a way of looking incredibly graceful while occasionally looking totally stumbly, and I'm genuinely unsure if it's intentional or not, but I think it works. It leads to moments like Dream stumbling face first into a hard enziguiri, which winds up looking nastier because it was face first and he looked off balance. Breeze barely beating a 10 count only to slide back into the ring to get blasted with the Dream Driver felt like a perfect spot to finish things, even though part of me is glad the went longer to make Breeze look more threatening. And late in the match we got an absolute freakshow eye popping move set up where Dream jumped off the top to land past a laid out Breeze, landing right where he needed to so he could hook Breeze's leg to roll him through into sticking him with Breeze's own Unprettier. It looked insane. And I loved the set ups where Dream would purposely throw off Breeze's timing on spots (which is something Breeze did to him a couple times earlier). I really loved this, warts and all, and this show is firing on an easy 3/3 for me.

Io Shirai vs. Shayna Baszler

ER: Apparently Tokyo Sports at one point called Shirai the "greatest wrestler in the world" which just feels like someone somewhere had to have wrongly translated a quote. This was the first match that felt like a miss, felt like something that would have been a decent hour one Smackdown match, but didn't have any big moments to make it stand out on this card. Really the most exciting part of this was Candice LeRae running out to wreck Shafir and Duke with a kendo stick. Candice was really swinging hard, broke the damn stick over them both, really liked that whole section. But the match itself seemed really basic. Shirai just doesn't seem very good to me, and as Shayna is working her over I'm sitting here knowing that it's going to just lead to a bunch of fairly implausible Shirai offense. Baszler toying with Shirai was fun, kicking at her and getting her to flinch, before ACTUALLY kicking her. Shirai isn't a very interesting seller, so her selling limb damage always feels comical, and her staggering around for shots looked like when Jeremy Irons was awkwardly learning geisha movements in M. Butterfly. Her flying does little for me, although I think she may have had a decent missile dropkick in there. The finish itself was really good, as the bridge looked like a plausible way to win but I was confident Shayna would turn it into a choke. I think I'm more interested in the inevitable Shirai/LeRae vs. Shayna/Horse Girl tag as Shirai works better in a tag or multiman setting, but this underwhelmed.

ER: Just want to make a note here about how godawful Mauro Ranallo has been on commentary the entire show. He isn a very specific and infuriating kind of awful, a different side of the Matt Striker coin. The specifically infuriating part about Ranallo - I mean aside from his constant fucking screaming - is that he seems to genuinely LOVE the product that he is announcing for. He seems like he adores NXT and he is living his absolute best life. But he's just so fucking annoying about enjoying his favorite thing. He's the fan you hate to hear talk about the thing he loves, and you hate the specific way he loves it. Striker is unbearable in that way you picture him sitting at home writing hack shoehorned references trying to get himself over, Ranallo is the guy who does that because it's how he can best express his love for NXT.

Adam Cole vs. Johnny Gargano

ER: I actually somewhat unexpectedly enjoyed the first 15 minutes of this match! But as we all know this was not going to be a match than ended shortly past the 15 minute mark. Pro wrestling inspired by the Marvel Cinematic Universe is absolutely one of the worst things to happen to pro wrestling. It just makes me dream of Stan Hansen running into the ring and beheading either of these goofs with lariats. There are always things I enjoy! Gargano can take some bone rattling bumps, and they both have some cool ideas about building off past matches and past interactions. But FUCK them. That Star Search dance routine with Gargano hitting a reverse rana and then waiting patiently on his knees while peeking over his shoulder, waiting for Cole to bounce of the ropes with a superkick, or their little Total Eclipse of the Heart dance recital where Gargano kept getting kicked chest first into the ropes and bouncing off and hitting his own bullshit only to spin Cole into his arms as rain pours down in dramatic fashion, that kind of horseshit can just die. I hate all of Marvel's final 25 minute "Two invincible guys not able to do a ton of damage to the other while causing millions of dollars in structural damage" and it's not something I'll ever want to see in pro wrestling. Nothing damages these guys, until something damages them. Fuck Off Forever.

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NXT 229 7/3/14 Review

1. Colin Cassady vs. Sylvester Lefort

Ugh. Enzo's same rehearsed, already ear poison mic spiel goes about 4x as long as the match itself. Lefort has been looking killer lately on TNA, glad someone is giving him some time (yuck, feels weird to say "good for him for going to TNA!"). And really what can you say about a 30 second match? I hate them? Lefort brings about as much as you can in the time, throwing a couple stiff right hands to Cassady's jaw. If you gotta go down, land a few while on the way. Cassady hits his big leaping elbow, and at least all his arm flailing made the elbow look more impactful. Still, bleh.

2. Sasha Banks & Charlotte vs. Bayley & Becky Lynch

I wasn't expecting tons from this but ended up liking it and wanting more. Sasha and Charlotte are a really satisfying tag team, real good at cutting off the ring, and Bayley is an excellent babyface. Lynch dropped all that terrible Irish dancing and was fine as Bayley's hot tag. But the money was in watching Sasha and Charlotte be total bitches to Bayley. This was one of Charlotte's best performances so far, just really showing tons of confidence and coming off like a real jock bully. Sasha is great as her lackey, and it's so good when she does a bunch of her non-offense cheats, stuff like clawing and just slapping someone on the back. Her facials are always great when doing this and Charlotte is always waiting right there for the tag when Sasha gets in over her head. If this was maybe twice as long it would have been something that wouldn't have felt out of place on one of the 80s sets, and it kind of made me hate the WWE Network start time/end time "bullet points" as while it is convenient to know what time a match starts on the timeline, it is a bummer to be getting into a match while seeing "oh this ends in like 30 seconds".

Tyson Kidd is really good at playing bitter veteran and I liked him raining on Justin Gabriel's parade. Gabriel was all excited to be in NXT and Kidd explained to him that it was another rung lower on the ladder, which was lower than his previous spot, and so on. I try not to look ahead at what happens in NXT so I'm going into each episode mostly blind, so I have no idea how long Kidd (or anybody) sticks around in NXT, but I'm hoping he's around for awhile.

3. CJ Parker vs. Steve Cutler

Not much to this one, the debuting Z'Dar-jawed Cutler got zero offense, but bumped around in fine "quick back bump off punches" WWE training style. It was entirely punches from Parker, leading to his standing spin kick finish. Parker is a guy I like, but the announce crew really backed themselves into an awkward corner with his gimmick. He's a dirty hippie who's a self-proclaimed eco terrorist. Regal is the face announcer, who understandably hates hippies. But Regal makes a poor decision in deciding - because Parker is a heel, and a hippie heel no less, that he is going to be opposed to everything about him. The problem is, Regal now comes off like an asshole climate change denier who empties entire bottles of his Aqua Net hairspray into the air while having a Styrofoam bonfire. Like, I get CJ's a dick about it, but it doesn't mean you also have to hate recycling just because somebody shitty does it. Regal easily could have taken a "agree with the message, strongly disagree with the delivery" route which would have actually pointed out the whole nuance of the Parker character. His broad dislike is a rare commentary misstep for Regal, but it's a misstep he should recognize, as I don't want to have to side with Byron Saxton of all people as he points out what good points Parker is making.

4. Sami Zayn vs. Justin Gabriel

Really liked Gabriel in this one, and I really like he and Kidd as dickhead demoted meatheads. I thought Zayn's two comebacks were fairly unimaginative and shoehorned in, or else the match could have been great. Zayn's first offense run just kind of came out of nowhere, and the second was set up by Gabriel climbing to the top while easily seeing Zayn standing up to catch him. It was just kind of lazy. But Gabriel looked awesome throughout, right up there with the most I've ever enjoyed him. The first couple minutes of this were fun as I liked their scrambly wristlock reversals and armdrags, and eventually Gabriel starts bringing some stiff strikes including a nasty spinkick right to Zayn's jaw. Both guys were doing real nice rope running sequences, cutting fast on drop downs, doing fast leapfrog spots. It felt like those Finlay matches in WCW where he would test a guy early in a match by doing super fast sequences and letting them decide their fate. Gabriel hits a great springboard moonsault and plants Zayn with a sick air raid crash on his knee. I kept expecting Kidd to factor into the finish so was pleased that he didn't (other than shouting advice), but the ending was just flat with the silly fighting on the turnbuckles and then Zayn just kind deciding to lock on the koji clutch. It wouldn't have taken much to come up with a better way to transition to Zayn's offense, and that held things back a bit. But overall this was good and I liked Gabriel fully turning postmatch and stomping down Zayn with Kidd. The tag match (Neville/Zayn vs. Kidd/Gabriel that I assume they're building to) should be really good.


COMPLETE NXT EPISODE GUIDE

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