WWE No Mercy 2016 Live Blog

ER: This show is happening not too far from me, Sac is under a 2 hour drive. But I was oddly in Sac last night seeing the band SURVIVE, and really had zero interest making that drive again like 12 hours later. I'll be seeing NXT in Sac in a couple weeks, which means I'll have made more trips to Sacramento this month than in all of the last 5 years.

ER: Boy that Curt Hawkins promo was pretty rough. What a strange person to bring back to TV. Give him a decade old Chuck Norris Facts gimmick, and let him cut a promo that sounded about as smooth as some of those early NXT "cut a promo about this random word" promos.

1. American Alpha vs. Hype Bros. vs. Vaudevillains vs. The Ascension

ER: This was fairly dull until the match closing car crash spots that all these guys are good at. Jamming this many guys into a short match means nobody gets much of a chance to shine. Some guys got some individual moments, thought English got some nice stuff. He's a lanky big guy who takes suplexes really well, so he's ideal to bump around for Jordan. Viktor is better than he usually gets to look, loved the timing on Konnor yanking Gable off the ring apron. I would have liked to see AA treated as a bigger deal in this match before getting the win, but they were mostly absent through the first 3/4 of this. Again, just a flaw in match structure/time allotted.

2. Dean Ambrose vs. John Cena vs. AJ Styles

ER: I usually dislike 3 ways but I think I always end up liking Cena in 3 ways. His selling and strength based spots always come off well in the broken structure. But so far this just doesn't seem that good. Flimsy springboard elbows are making people disappear until it's their turn to hit a flimsy springboard elbow. The 10 knuckle shuffle couldn't have been set up much worse, and couldn't have looked much worse. Guys go from selling death after *performing* a move, to then moments later doing a move of their own. I do like Cena blocking AJ's low superkick by swatting it away like my cat swatting away catnip tennis balls. And I love how over the calf crusher is. And suddenly the bell rings as AJ taps while taking a calf crusher and STFU simultaneously. I have zero clue what happened there because the match just keeps going. So AJ is still in the match because both guys got him to tap.....which means nobody actually beat him? My god this is colossally stupid, no matter how much the announcers try to explain that this is a totally normal call. And a chair gets used about 20 minutes into a match that they've been proclaiming is No DQ from the very beginning. My god this is so stupid. I cannot even imagine what the hell a live crowd would think after seeing this, with no announce crew explanation. They watched Styles tap, heard the bell, and then the match just continued. How confusing, and bad.

3. Nikki Bella vs. Carmella

ER: Boy this match is not good. Every move by both looks like it's landing a foot short. Nikki whiffs on dropkicks and hits a pillow soft "tackle", Carmella whiffs on a superkick. Carmella seemingly taking bumps way early does not help Nikki. As I'm typing that Nikki hits a really nice running elbow that spins Carmella into the mat, and Carmella's headscissor submission looks really great. And now it's over. Well that stunk.

4. Usos vs. Heath Slater & Rhyno

ER: Man heel Usos soooo goooood. Just what the doctor ordered. Face Usos were getting real stale, and this has really reinvigorated them. All their strikes look far more vicious, and I love all their double team strikes. One distracts, the other rushes with an uppercut; one holds a shoulderblock in the corner, the other jumps in with an elbow to the jaw. Also amusing that a lot of the heat is on Rhyno so far, which leads to a nice comeback spinebuster. Heath has a fun hot tag and that powerslam off the top was awesome. Usos do their great superkick to the knee and that Rhyno lariat while an Uso had the tequila sunrise looked sick. Nice, satisfying tag match. Between the lousy first couple matches and my Network freezing 5 times already, I needed a good one here.

5. Jack Swagger vs. Baron Corbin

ER: Fun short power match. Lariats hit well, Corbin got flung around for Swagger's slams. I don't have a whole lot of interesting stuff to add to this, but I enjoyed it. Corbin's swing dancing finisher is pretty silly though.

6. Career vs. Title! Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

ER: Surprised they didn't put this one last since you don't often get matches where someone's career is on the line. WWE isn't really a big stip match fed so this actually feels like a pretty big deal. And this whole thing was laid out pretty terrifically. I had minor issues with some of the offense, but you had to figure ahead of time that the offense wasn't going to be good from either guy. Early I liked how they used Dolph's nice dropkick as a way to surprise and cut off Miz offense, and the finishing stretch was awesome. The leg selling was hammier than a Cosctco recall, but right after he rolled through the skull crushing finale and reversed into his sleeper choke I was hooked. The Maryse spray spot was done great, and the Spirit Squad run in and toss out was timed perfectly, right at the end of the match so that everything blew up for Miz. Argue about the result all you want but the fans were dying for Dolph by the end.

7. Alexa Bliss vs. Naomi

ER: God Mauro is annoying. "Say, don't you think Alexa Bliss looks like Harley Quinn?" I wish JBL spent longer running him down for his pandering. "Inspired by the Last Dragon, there's another reference for you John." So he's clearly self aware that his references are constant, and dogshit. JBL vs. Mauro might build to the only interesting announcer vs. announcer match in history. Bliss throws a great forearm and is definitely one of the best heels in the fed when it comes to screaming at refs/her opponent. "You're not on my level Naomi. I don't even like you!" I was really liking this up until the really rushed flash finish. It really did a disservice to the rest of the match which could have built nicely. Unless they plan on having Bray/Orton go 45 (heaven help us) then there's really no reason we had to end things like they did.

8. Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

ER: None too excited for this one, and they aren't doing anything to make me more interested. They are definitely having a match you'd expect from Orton and Wyatt. Wyatt seems like he's only 3/4 committing on his moves, looks really sloppy. Like he starts the move and then Orton just has to finish it, even though it looks like there's nothing behind it. That apron DDT was the worst offender. He just kind hopped to the floor and Orton had to DDT himself. The missed senton on the steps looked nice though. Orton dropping him back first over the apron was a nice touch. But then Harper returns right as I'm getting into the whole thing. Still, Harper coming back should be great for Smackdown. He could and should really thrive there. (though I'd really like him not associated with Bray any longer)

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WWE Roadblock Live Blog

Roadblock was an abolute top 5 favorite WCW syndicated guy for me, and it's cruel they're taunting me like this, and even more cruel that they never gave him a fair shake after WCW folded. Roadblock looked like my childhood-through-high school friend Ben, and I loved them both, though for different reasons. How dare you play with my emotions on a Saturday night WWE.

1. The New Day vs. League of Nations

ER: It's funny how quick the expiration on some WWE stuff is. A few months ago I found myself chuckling at a few New Day segments. Now I find myself fast forwarding their segments about 30 seconds in. According to Byron Saxton, Sheamus and Barrett competed against each other for "about 10 years" before they got to WWE. I'm gonna call bullshit on that one. Unless Barrett is a 20 year vet. I suppose it's possible. Regal and tons of other awesome vets started in their teens. But holy shit if Barrett has been doing this for 20 years and presently wrestles like Wade Barrett?? Sheamus and Barrett are a nice little team though. I'm really loving each guy suplexing Kofi around. Wade busts out a cool tornado snap suplex, starting like a tornado DDT but planting his feet and snapping off the suplex. Really dug Sheamus' twisting vertical suplex into a low Barrett superkick. Big E has the greatest standing splash of all time. I don't think it's even arguable. How many big fat guys have had disappointing standing splashes? Many. Big E not only gets the most height, but lands with the most weight. It's the best. I loved Kofi catching Sheamus on the floor with a leaping bulldog off the steps. I didn't see it coming, Sheamus took it like a guy who also did not see it coming. Nice opener.

ER: I'm not sure who the guy is holding the mic for Heyman, but damn that is some grade A asshole hair right there. Is he being ribbed? Look at the side angle, as his forehead forms a perfect straight line up to his fade. Kudos for the camera crew zooming to a tighter shot of just Heyman, as that goon standing in frame would have been far too distracting.

2. Chris Jericho vs. Jack Swagger

ER: Jericho makes some pretty terrific smug unamused faces on his way to the ring and while soaking up boos during his promo. I loved him running down his people, but disappointed that he twice stated they were always playing catch-up, yet somehow didn't make a ketchup chips joke. Sohrry. They "asshole" chants sound incredibly Canadian. It's glorious. I get less and less excited with every Jericho return, but if he has to wrestle on TV a lot then clearly heel Jericho is a much better option. If only because then we get the return of the mocking kicks!! Those were my favorite part of his offense when I was in high school. I still wish late career Shawn Michaels had done a heel turn. He could have been such an incredible John Tatum. His outfits work so much better as a heel, and by that point he could have had so many fun comedy reactions based around his hair tuft. It's pretty easy to forget Swagger exists on the roster. I need to start watching Main Event and Superstars to see if there are any gems popping up there. Boy, Jericho sure looks off a couple steps in every one of his return matches. Although it kinda works for his heel persona, there's still no denying he's kind of on par with an average divas match at this point. Match itself was nothing to write home about. Swagger still doesn't know how to make an ankle lock look effective. But hey, mocking kicks!!

3. Enzo Amore & Colin Cassady vs. The Revival (Dawson & Dash)

ER: I am a literal 24 months behind on my NXT, so it will be weird to see how some of these guys look in this flash forward. Colin Cassady is a constant source of giggles for me in 2014 NXT, so we'll see if he's figured out how to work big and not work like a super tall Steve Simpson. I have never seen The Revival before. You will be with me as I learn which one is Dawson and which one is Dash. Dash is the one with hair. I figured it out super quick. Dash throws a stiff elbow and takes a nice back drop. Enzo's low crossbody is cool. Enzo seems like a real good FIP, and Revival are good ring cutter offers. Loved Dawson's hard stomps on Enzo's arms. And HOLY SHIT Enzo running for the tag only to get POUNCED by Dawson was one of my favorite spots I've ever seen related to a tag. We've fallen into such a pattern of hot tags turning into double tag outs, with both guys sneaking peaks at the other making sure they time it right, then something like this comes out of nowhere and knocks my socks on my ass. Then they did the double tag afterwards. But Dash did it nicely. Dawson's missed punch segment against Enzo was pretty terrible. Those things were missing by 4 feet. Overall this was a nicely done tag. Enzo fed The Revival really well, and that made the match. I will see more of these guys when I'm all caught up to 2016 NXT in three years.

4. Natalya vs. Charlotte

ER: What does Ric Flair have against button up shirts? T-shirts and suit jackets is a pretty tragic look. If you're smart enough to wear a pocket square, just buy a couple button ups. And you know Flair's t-shirts probably cost some stupid amount. Like they're some kind of "dress" t-shirt. Ugh. Natalya dedicating the match to Bret Hart comes off like such a desperate move. "How about those 2015 NLDS Champion Blue Jays, right? RIGHT??" So do they have Flair constantly with Charlotte just because they're afraid what Ric might do to himself if he wasn't on the road around people? Horrible thought, but it didn't sound unbelievable as I typed it. Her aping Flair spots and leaving the talking to her dad certainly isn't helping her grow as a performer. Man, Bret Hart gets prostate cancer and then his niece loses on a WWE Network special in a match dedicated to him. Tough month. For all of Cole's idiot talk of Natalya needing to "get some blood flowing back to that knee" (huh?) I wasn't ever feeling the knee injury much. The powerbomb hope spot was nice, but I just can't get into Charlotte matches. I strongly dislike her "I'm disgruntled" face, and Flair getting involved in every single one of her match finishes is so beyond tired at this point.

5. Brock Lesnar vs. Luke Harper

ER: Lesnar/Harper is a modern dream match for me, so I'm loving this. Hopefully we get Lesnar clotheslining Brown Snowman in the jaw again. And damn poor Harper. He laces into Lesnar with great punches, a big boot, big man tope, but then has to suffer through so many damn Germans. And sadly for Harper, he takes Germans realllllly well. He folds up so perfectly. It's like gorgeous poetry. I was obviously hoping for a much longer match, at least 8 minutes. The action was solid gold but just left me wanting mooooooore. Brock needs to come back out and demolish HHH in the main.

6. Sami Zayn vs. Stardust

ER: Does Sami always have the ska intro? Or is that his new WWE theme? It's a little high school, but amusing. I wonder if he also sent away for dozens of different ska zines from across the country? And if all of them featured interviews with Mustard Plug. I wanted to start my own ska zine just so my one and only issue could proclaim "We will NEVER interview Mustard Plug". The whole zine would likely just be about Bad Manners. I would call it Chex. And boy for a guy who just made a big "debut" this week, it's weird seeing him just get dominated by Stardust. I mean 5 minutes in and Zayn has just been taking it and taking it. 8 minutes in and Zayn finally finds a way to crack the Stardust code that's been dominating the fed for years. Zayn gets to kick out of the Disaster Kick and wins shortly after, but no matter how much Cole thinks getting a win over Stardust is a way to really make an impact, this was a disaster. Whose idea was it to give freaking Stardust 95% of this match??

7. Dean Ambrose vs. HHH

ER: During the Shield/Evolution matches Ambrose still wrestled like Ambrose, but here he is wrestling almost, really slotting into the HHH cookie cutter match structure. Things get momentarily good when Ambrose dropkicks the his knee while HHH is in the ropes, but moments later HHH is suplexing him on the floor and walking around just fine. HHH is still trying to #TaketheCripplerCrossfaceBack. Man this is methodical. Realllll businesslike. The man really knows how to silence a crowd. Although watching Stardust dominate a match for 10 straight minutes probably didn't do HHH's established formula any favors. God this is dull. We get some perfunctory submissions in the middle of the ring, Cole screaming about how HHH is just about to tap AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FINISH!?!?!? Apparently Ambrose's legs were UNDER the rope when he pinned HHH? Oh, brother. It somehow worked on the crowd, though. I expected them to turn hard but it actually made them interested in the match for the first time. Ambrose misses the elbow through the table and valiantly fights his way into a Pedigree. Man what a dogshit match. That false finish was maybe the dumbest fucking false finish I have ever seen. Whoever laid out that spot done fucked up. I can't believe that HHH would be shown getting pinned anyway, but man bringing up a fake rule after Ambrose beats him with a leg possibly sort of maybe under the plane of the ropes looked waayyyyyyy worse than the Starrcade "slow" count. I guess it was supposed to make Ambrose look strong? Man the visual of that just looked so fucking stupid.

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WWE TLC 2015 Live Blog

1. Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch

ER: They start with this ugly, endless sketch where Team BAD sing a terrible, cringeworthy 12 Days of Christmas rendition that....I'm not sure what was supposed to be accomplished. Was it to get Banks booed in her hometown? Who is the heel in this though? You have a hometown heel who the crowd wants to cheer, who then is forced to do an unfunny and unprepared segment to start the match, and the crowd is then just left quiet. I love the early armwork and loved Becky's ankle pick on a Banks leap frog. We hit the Banks transition and Lawler says that Banks has controlled the whole match, even though literally the exact opposite thing has happened the whole match. The facials Banks makes in between moves is great. She knows how to shit talk and make great cocky faces. I love when she shit talks mid-move and it blows up on her, like slapping Lynch and talking shit leading to her getting blasted with an elbow. Her crossface submission looks good and I liked Lynch fighting up out of it, with Banks trying to stomp the backs of her knees. Match as a whole didn't do a whole lot for me as I didn't care much about Lynch's comebacks.

2. Tag Title Ladder Match: The New Day vs. Lucha Dragons vs. Usos

ER: This starts off immediately fun with guys taking bumps to the floor, and Kofi and Kalisto doing stereo springboards onto either side of a set-up ladder. Dragons hit sloppyish moonsaults to the floor, and Usos do a stereo dive into all guys, while the guys on the floor shield themselves with a ladder. Somehow diving into a ladder doesn't hurt the Usos, it only hurts the guys taking the dive. Big E and Kofi trap an Uso in a ladder in the corner, and do all sorts of violent chokes and strikes to him, capped with a Kofi running dropkick. The other Uso gets suplexed onto the same ladder. Kalisto hits a nice bombs away over a ladder, and Sin Cara does a nice cattle branding with a ladder, then does a balls out nuts swanton to the floor onto a ladder with both Usos underneath. Daaaaamn. Oh shit, Kalisto climbs the ladder with Big E under it, and E starts fucking BENCH PRESSING the ladder while Kalisto climbs, so the ladder is tilting and at a 45 degree angle while Kalisto bails and flies into the Usos. Crazy visual when they cut to the wide shot to see E lifting that ladder. Kalisto does a 450 onto the Usos under a ladder, after being vaulted into it by a Sin Cara monkey flip. Jeez. And then he tops is all by hitting his sliced bread finisher off the top of one ladder, through another ladder set up horizontally. And then Sin Cara hits a springboard swanton. Lucha Dragons could get over huge after this match. An Uso hits a frog splash from the top through a ladder with E underneath. Aww shit Xavier throws his trombone at Kalisto!! Damn he really tossed that thing at him hard. Fun crazy match. Could be a star making performance from Kalisto if they choose to follow up on it (har har har). Not only were his spots crazy, but he did a good job of making his set up strikes and everything looked good. His punches while balancing on a ladder were especially impressive, and when those look good then doing your crazy finisher off the top of the ladder is just going to mean more.

3. Rusev vs. Ryback

ER: I love a big hoss match, but for much of this it felt like they were trying to do spots where two big lugs crash into each other, but they weren't making those spots look very impressive. I get how to huge dudes trying and blocking each other's suplexes could look cool, but it just looked like two guys taking turns hopping into place. The stuff that looked best (Rusev's chokes) got deemphasized quick, in favor of "Ryback agility spots" like his middle buckle dropkick and his crossbody. The Ryback agility spots seemed way too out of place in this, and Rusev came out of this looking bad. We had a match where Ryback took 80% of the action, then Rusev only permanently goes ahead by Ryback getting stalled by Lana AGAIN, and then Rusev hitting his nice superkick. Lana is fucking great at her part, but man they did Rusev no favors here. But really they've been doing Rusev no favors for almost a year now.

4. Chair Match: Jack Swagger vs. Alberto Del Rio

ER: Boy a chair match seems impossible to pull off under their PG rules. Feels like a match that has a chance to be violent, but is hard to make look violent to the fans unless the guys just actually get hurt. I can appreciate how nice Del Rio does worked shots to the stomach and throat, but fans like hearing and seeing big meaty thwacks. Swagger taking a chair to the throat off a Vader Bomb attempt looked great and was almost missed by the cameras. Del Rio throws about a dozen chairs on Swagger's body, and Swagger terribly sells this by acting as if he were unconscious. He doesn't even flinch for ANY of the chair throws. Just lies there, breathing heavily, getting chairs thrown at his body. Give me a little writhing, a little AGGGGGGHHH, I don't care if it's cartoonish, make me actually think you're getting hit with fucking chairs, because DUDE, you're getting hit with fucking chairs. It doesn't matter as a minute later Swagger is back in the ring hitting Del Rio with chairs. Del Rio returns the favor by being in the Patriot Lock for an eternity and immediately not giving a shit about it once he's out of it. Man this blows. Swagger has taken nothing but chairs to the body, so naturally keeps trying to do his Swagger Bomb with his battered body. ADR at least set up the corner stomp spot nicely by trapping Swagger in the corner and beating the shit out of him. The visual of Swagger getting stomped into chairs looked good. ADR immediately sells his ankle for the first time right when the match ends. Little of this meant anything to me.

5. Elimination Tables Match: Wyatt Family

ER: So they're doing individual eliminations, which means we should be getting a bunch of bodies through tables here. I thought Rhyno looked really good in the Raw multiman, and he and Strowman looked like they were lacing into each other. Harper and Bubba were throwing big blows too. Once things spill to the floor and table spots start getting set up, the match gets pretty boring. There were a couple decent individual moments, like Dreamer and Bubba going nuts on Strowman with kendo sticks, and then burying him under tables. Harper looks really good throughout, and his big man tope putting Dreamer through a table looked good. Bubba setting up the lighter fluid spot gets the crowd to actually make noise, and then in a hilarious fuck you Harper hits a nasty superkick to Bubba's throat and Strowman puts him through the table before it's lit. So the Wyatts ran through Team ECW, which is what should have happened, but the match wasn't very good.

6. Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose

ER: Owens controls a lot of the start, but he's good at it, good at standing on Dean's throat and tossing on a snug side headlock, nice back elbow, then also flies into Dean's back elbow and gets rocked over the top with a lariat. I loved Owens scouting the Ambrose 360 lariat and catching him, then tossing him into the barricade with a fallaway slam. These two seem like they match up well on paper, but none of their matches have worked for me. You think Owens is a nasty asskicker, and Ambrose is a scrambly babyface with great comebacks, but nothing ever gels to make their matches against each other memorable. Both guys can have better matches against inferior opponents, than against each other. I like the rana out of the powerbomb finish, but the build within their matches just does nothing for me. Both men do spots, but none of the moves each guy takes ever causes either man trouble when trying to hit offense, it just feels like filling time.

7. Paige vs. Charlotte

ER: So I also don't get who is the heel here. Charlotte is a face acting like a heel who will do anything to win, and Paige is acting like a heel who should be a face. Sounds like another combination that will equal a quiet crowd. And jesus do they still think toting her father around with her is hoping Charlotte get over? They've been doing it for fucking months now. Flair gets a reaction, but it just acts as a constant visual reminder that Charlotte needs a LOT of help getting over, like they're afraid of her reaction if not with her father. But the reaction WITH her father is hardly there. They are still desperately constantly saying Flair is her father, she learned from the best, because her father is Flair, she's just like her father, who's 16 time world champion Ric Flair, blah blah blah. It's not making a difference. Charlotte aping Flair spots is just brutal. Charlotte seems like a natural heel, but the Flair spots are just so bad.

8. TLC World Title Match: Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns

ER: Boston crowd immediately distracted with Cena chants. Reigns' mounted elbows looked really good. Sheamus gently tosses a ladder into Reigns. Reigns feebly bumps into the barricade. Both guys are moving startingly slow for the first minute of the match. Sheamus takes a nice backdrop bump over the barrier because Sheamus always takes big bumps. And match starts to get good when it's based around Sheamus taking wild bumps. He sprawls through tables and set-up chairs and tables set up on chairs. He gets a big scrape on his arm and the deep red looks cool against his pale skin. Sheamus always bruises up well. Chair shots start looking more nasty, Reigns throws some nice rights, Sheamus hits an awesome lariat after luring Reigns in to do the apron dropkick. Sheamus does a huge White Noise through a table and Roman ends up grabbing Sheamus' foot getting back in the ring. Sheamus does this great look of disgust at Reigns. All of Reigns' punches and strikes look good in this. His superman punches have been on point. Sheamus takes a couple crazy moves onto and through ladders. One to the floor was sick. Reigns takes a super ill-advised bump off the ladder into the ropes, reaching his leg out for the ropes for some reason, like he was actively trying to tear an ACL. But then Reigns runs up the ladder with a superman punch that sends Sheamus flying off the ladder into a table. That looked great. ADR and Rusev run in. Rusev sells the superman punch really great, dropping to his knees and face planting. Match itself was really good and violent. Reigns flops again when faced with obstacles, but both men matched up really nicely. It's the kind of thing that works better in a vacuum, as the crazy violent spots come at the end of a night filled with crazy violent spots. Everybody wanted their spots to look violent, and while I think the ones in this match were more violent than most of the others on the show, it still feels silly to have to think "was that the best or the 6th best table spot we've seen tonight?" HHH comes out and leans about as far out of the superman punch as possible. Reigns threw like 6 superman punches in the match itself, and they all looked great and everybody went face first into them. So leave it to HHH to bump 3 feet early when it's his turn. Stephanie always seems to be making the wrong faces, like she doesn't understand actual human emotion. Roman throws some more nice rights and HHH takes a powerbomb into an announce table. The long build up of HHH being helped up by tons of officials while Reigns walks away, into Reigns sprinting back to spear him was awesome. Sheamus has been selling for like 8 minutes.

So, I liked the tag team ladder match and the main event. That's two more matches than I liked on the last PPV so there's an easy step-up. Still didn't feel like a great show, possibly didn't feel like a good show. I'm almost always left feeling like a specific match should have been better. That's a feeling that's been with me for months now concerning WWE, seems like every match should just be better. Sometimes it feels like the fed is actively working to have the matches not be better. Is this just me?

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Survivor Series Live Blog

ER: I'm doing even more internet wrestling writer self-flagellation than Phil as I'm skimming through the pre-show to see if there's anything hidden in there. It said on the screen "Exclusive match" so we'll see if that means an actual exclusive match, or just Booker T HOT TAKES. Every one of Booker T's hot takes boils down to "Me and my brother used to fight all the time, but we had each other's backs". I swear no matter what feud he's talking about, he immediately brings it to that.

We get a Bad News Barrett promo where he basically throws his hat in the ring as the new authority figure depending on how tonight shakes out. AJ also does a promo rolling her eyes at all the sister drama. This stuff feels like stuff that should be relegated to a pre-show. Cesaro in-ring promo is interrupted by Zeb, and Rachel hilariously points out that the moment Zeb comes out there was a prompt on the bottom of the screen saying that the broadcast is available in Spanish. Intentional or not that made me laugh.

1. Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger

ER: This is a nice little pre-show match. Can't complain about this. I was expecting something with some lesser guys like Fandango or Heath Slater. This was their Worldwide match, as it gets about 5 minutes and isn't great, but it's good enough. Cesaro gets a few nifty throws in including a nice overhead belly to belly. He sells an early ankle injury adequately, although it seems like a bit TOO much as he's selling it after being in the patriot lock for a few seconds which would be already selling the patriot lock more than it's ever been sold. There was a cool moment where Cesaro limps towards the corner, but uses it to decoy Swagger into a missed charge (which he runs nicely into the turnbuckles). Surprised to see Cesaro go down so easy and clean to the lock. I haven't been following the TV much lately, so it would appear like Cesaro's stock is plummeting like I assume WWE's is doing ever since launching the Network.

PAS: Opening up with a long Helmsley promo is a rough way to start a PPV, man I can't even fast forward through this like I can on RAW. I hope you fucks appreciate this. They are hitting the Cena heel turn so much here, that it feels like a rib on the Opinions for You bloggers. I can already see the long terrible Masked Man Grantland article I won't be reading on Monday.

ER: Opening MacMahons promo really felt like "hey none of you have been watching TV for the past month so here's a point by point rundown for you." I loved how apparently Stephanie didn't understand the match stipulations until she was literally standing in the ring at the PPV.

2. Mizdow vs. Usos vs. Dust Brothers vs. Matadores

PAS: The last three minutes of this were kind of fun, I liked the dive train and the crazy superplex was kind of neat. Didn't care for much else, I didn't hate Mizdow last week but it has moved over into Chikara territory for me now. Unfortunately I think this means the end of good PPV tag matches for a while.

MattD: I'd really wanted this to be Gold/Star vs Matadors since I want another month or two of featured Dustin matches and I didn't think they'd put the belts on the Matadors, but Miz/Mizdow is pretty much primed for that sort of focus as they build to a split.

I kind of love how after last year when the tag titles were used as sort of a big middle of the card match, now they're used to start off almost every PPV with a high speed, high action sort of match. They're the new cruiserweight title.

The best part of this match was the Gold/Star heeling in keeping Mizdow out: Stardust teasing it and then refusing, Dustin blind tagging him when he finally got in, just ramping up the anticipation for when he finally made it in at the end. Goldust working brunt of this match was the best way to run it. The double team with the sunset flip and the German was ridiculous but fun. I loved Stardust pushing a Matador into the post which set up the Usos getting tagged in later, and the hot tag set up with the tombstone fight into the spinning DDT was pretty great too. And I liked how they teased the Usos dive before they actually gave it to the crowd with the crazy dive sequence.

Finish was pretty much what I was expecting (well, not the goofy trainwreck belly to back suplex spot). It's Sandow's first actual title which is kind of amazing in this day and age. Hopefully Dustin can keep enough q-rating to make it to a Mania match vs Cody.

ER: Pre-match JBL hilariously and accurately rips apart the psychology of the match, saying "Why the hell would you ever tag yourself out!?" Yep, that's kind of why these matches are usually pretty stupid once you think about them for two seconds. Way to connect the dots for the blissfully ignorant. Cole desperately tries to explain why it might be good to tag out but since it is always a horrible idea, his explanation was really just stammering. I really dig Cody's gear, that red/gold/black combo looks really cool. Also really shocked at how over Damien Mizdow is. Was not expecting to hear a "We want Mizdow" chant. Good for him. Also love Goldust immediately tagging Mizdow out when he finally gets in.

Pretty sure none of the commentary crew can tell Los Matadores apart. Goldust was the easy highlight of this as he was able to make everybody look good, leaned way into the Usos hip strikes (I had written "leaned way into the Usos asses" but decided to change that a bit) and his offense looked consistently better than everybody else's. Miz still takes strikes like a guy who's suffered tons of concussions and is scared to get another one, as he actively leans out of all strikes while holding his hands out in front of his face. He made an Uso superkick land two feet in front of his face by jumping away from it so quickly. He's taken offense like this for the last 4 years. I dug Stardust's "Falling Star" tope en reverse. Kudos to Goldust for saving Torito from being on the bottom of a dive train dog pile. You can see Goldust lift him out of the way at the last second. Match was a pretty big mess and would have been much better with any of the team combos in just a normal tag match.

3. Divas Survivor Series Match

PAS: Wow this was given a bunch of time. Weird booking to have all of the heel eliminated and then have the heel champion fighting the odds. Man I don't watch most Diva matches, but they have some really nasty dangerous moves. What the hell was that released suplex Natayla did? JBL seemed like he was on the verge of burying this match like Mike Awesome v. Masato Tanaka.

MattD: Nattie looked like something out of the live action Masters of the Universe coming down. I saw Paige's great forearm and then had to deal with my wife freaking out about the winter storm we're getting on the I-95 corridor and explain to my Paige-pale 12 year old (as he played Minecraft) that no, he can't pull off calling people "sucka." He then explained to me that "Brotha' from another motha'" has become a very popular phrase. I'm sure somewhere Joel Gertner is proud. My feed froze during Summer being absolutely terrified at Naomi skidding across the ring towards her. I kind of wish I hadn't refreshed it after that.

The best part of this match was Paige repeatedly telling Summer she was an idiot, then trying to walk out in disgust. There were some decent enough exchanges in this but it was interminable. How did they give this thing so much time?

ER: I can safely say that I watch more Divas matches than any of the other Segunda Caiders. And I feel pretty safe saying that this is the best the division has ever been. I don't know this for sure but I wouldn't be surprised to find out that Finlay was working with them again. JBL namedropping Aja Kong as having the most dominating "diva" Survivor Series moment is pretty great. Even pronounces her name "Ah-zhya" and everything. Boy I was really surprised this got 15 minutes. I thought a lot of the divas looked good. I'm a big Naomi fan, her stuff always has a nice snap and she gets crazy height for her "Rear View" from a standing position. Loved her headscissors to a kneeling Paige, and loved how Paige whipped her head right into it. Smart move getting Cameron out of their early, and dug some of Summer Rae's front kicks and her splashes to Naomi's arm. Alicia Fox is one of the best divas singles match workers, even tag matches, but she seems to be not good in multi man matches for whatever reason. I'm not sure why. This match would make a really good clipped highlight video. There were tons of great individual moments. They did not add up to 15 minutes worth of good match.

4. Bray Wyatt vs. Dean Ambrose

MattD: In watching old PPVs on the network, I've come to appreciate these video recap segments before the matches so that you get some sense of the feud, but they're a pain in the neck to watch on a PPV you already "bought."

They started this exactly as they should, charging at each other. Ambrose's little rotation preventing himself from getting tossed back into the ring was great. I'm sure he's done that before but I don't remember it. Ambrose chasing Bray across the ring after his Raven pose was a great spot too, and they followed it up with the counter off the dive. Nice little tease before Wyatt really took over. The Vader Attack cutoff followed by how much impact they put into the double clothesline on the floor was all good stuff.

Good last third WWE match stretch, with both Ambrose and Wyatt throwing bombs, countering each other's token moves, and both of them paying for going up top. The standing elbow drop was something out of a badly programmed NES wrestling game but in the best way. The ending worked well enough. You knew we weren't going to get something clean since it was a start of a feud and this set up TLC nicely, and really, was just what Dean needed on this PPV by showing the crowd how he's NOT Cena.

PAS: I really liked this, just a nasty fight with both guys beating the shit out of each other. I loved all of the car crash spots as both guys were just colliding into each other with abandon. Dean's crazy dive off the apron was and although the Bray on the microphone was a bit hokey, it kind of worked for me. Finish wasn't the craziest bit of table work we have seen but the character stuff by Dean really made it. These guys could have a great TLC match I am really looking forward to it.

ER: So much good stuff in this. I was expecting a good match and they more than delivered. I think "unorthodox" might be the most overused term by WWE announcers. I think at this point they've called every worker unorthodox. I'm not sure who they think is orthodox. And while technically inaccurate, it's a shame Goldberg wasn't here during this period. Ambrose has been my absolute favorite wrestler this year and he really is the greatest possible version of Roddy Piper in They Live. They were just constantly slamming into each other during this and I expect they had a bet going to see who could dislocate both shoulders first. Every single exchange was just super violent and I have no clue how Ambrose has been relatively healthy his whole career. Seems like I always want to write the word "fling" when talking about Ambrose. It's really the only time I use it. I no longer have "flings" so the word is useless to me in that sense. But every Ambrose match I always end up talking about he just "flings" his whole damn body at his opponent. He really does, and it looks fabulous. I think we can definitively say that their double clothesline spot was the greatest iteration of that spot in wrestling history. Normally it's a spot that predictably defies physics, but here Bray charges at fairly full speed and both appear to try and clothesline each other as damn hard as possible. I'm surprised neither guy got their arm ripped off, like two drag racers getting too close and knocking each others mirrors off. I like how the rebound elbow really only works for Ambrose 2/3 of the time, it's fun in an "opponent scouted it" kind of way. Every shot in this match landed with a nice thud, all of the nasty clotheslines, all the elbows, Bray going forehead first into a chair on that DDT. Their strike exchanges look truly unique, not like two guys who mapped them out, but like two off balance guys trying to sneak shots in. Ending was flat but it kind of should have been since no man should get a leg up on the other yet. I loved all of this.

5. Adam Rose/Bunny vs. Heath Slater/Gator

PAS: I was really disappointed that Sting wasn't revealed as the Bunny

ER: Adam Rose does nothing for me. He comes off as a really embarrassing old guy trying to be cool, but it's some weird version of what WWE thinks is cool. I guess "cool" is pretty subjective, but whatever Rose is supposed to be doesn't strike me as cool, interesting, fun-loving, entertaining, whatever. I'm sure some people think eye liner and greying goatees are cool though. Bunny had a nice missile dropkick.

ER: Backstage HHH addresses his team and says that there are no other 5 guys that he would have on his team. Normally those kind of statements can pretty easily be shot full of holes, but in a kayfabe sense when you think of guys he had at his disposal, that statement seems pretty accurate.

6. AJ Lee vs. Niki Bella

PAS: I couldn't have taken another Diva's match so no beef with that.

ER: I thought this was an okay way to move the title off AJ. She doesn't lose too much luster as she basically got tricked, but at the same time Nikki comes off like she outsmarted using a weird tactic that AJ wouldn't have thought of. Nikki is a shockingly better wrestler than people give her credit for so I was actually looking forward to the match, but I got other shit to do tonight so I'm not complaining about this.

7. Team Cena v. Team Authority

PAS: Liked parts of this a lot. Was pretty amazed at how irrelevant Cena felt in this match. Obviously Ziggler was the focus of this match, but honestly Erik Rowen got more showcase moments then Cena. I have never been a big Ziggler fan, but this was a pretty great performance, big time main event matches make his kind of bumping and selling appropriate, in a way it always seemed silly in four minute Smackdown matches. I was a little bummed to see Henry go out so quickly, no problem with the quick KO f but Kane is right there to be out in 20 seconds. Also didn't they just do remorseful Big Show making a decision for his family a year ago? Mainly that whole sport entertainment finish with Sting took forever and felt like the early days of weekly TNA PPVs where they would do a surprise debut every show (It's Vader! It's Sandman! It's Fat Tony Schivonie in a T-Shirt.) Still this kind of match is a fun showcase for a lot of guys, and a good way to hide limited guys who can do a couple of things.

MattD: So, I was putting the toddler down during the last two matches and the tablet can't run the Network well; it can run YouTube though and I watched Funk vs Hansen from 1982 instead and I think it's safe to say it was a better use of my time.

It bugs me that Noble and Mercury's ties don't match. I spent the entire babyface entrance annoyed that Kane and Rusev weren't switched in place so it could be Rollins in the middle, the giants on the end, and the champs in the middle. I was disappointed when Steph and Triple H left the apron since I really hoped that they did the "someone tries to tag Steph" spot. I like Kane a whole 14% more than the next guy, but couldn't he have been the one to eat the KO punch instead of Henry? I for one am glad that Ryback's gear says "Then" and not "Than." like it did last week. They really couldn't find a better way to protect him?

The Show-in-Peril segment was really good, with the heels making quick tags well. I didn't like the one on Dolph as well; it seemed to drag to me, though the hope spot cut offs were all pretty enjoyable. Cena is a really poor man's Mizdow on the apron. i wonder if Mercury and Noble can hear the Vince-Yelling-At-The-Announcers feed through those gimmick earpieces. It all ended with Rusev power bombing Dolph onto everyone and I swear I thought he was about to follow it up with a dive. Instead he missed the splash on the table and Dolph KOing himself on the stairs was probably the most ridiculous thing on a night of ridiculous things.

I like how they teased Rowan vs Haper before letting it happen. Rowan against giants is great, both the dropkick he did to Show and the hanging sleeper he tried on Rowan. The single best thing Rollins does is come flying in off the side of the screen. He'd be a good mid-card trios match tecnico in Mexico.

And that's what they went with with Cena? Really? I guess that really running Dolph vs the World could make Dolph. They do it too, with it all culminating in the domino spot and Triple H really noticing Ziggler for the first time in years. It's obvious that the Armstrong Curse is what summoned Sting. And say what you will about over the hill Sting but that felt like only the third or fourth special moment WWE's had all year and I think it lived up to whatever possible hype they could have had for Sting. Rollins and Dolph are the real winners of the injury bug this year. Survivor Series matches have low ceilings and they're really about something other than star ratings and in that regard this delivered in the way they needed it to with the eyes on it.

ER: Analytically I like the Henry elimination, but as a guy actually watching the match I was hoping to see a LOT of Henry in this as I like him opposite all the members of Team Cena. Fun little Ryback run with Rollins taking a massive Eddie style backdrop into the ropes and Ryback doing an awesome delayed vertical suplex on Harper. It's pretty impressive how quickly Rusev has improved since being up on the main roster. I thought he looked pretty bad earlier in the year in the NXT I watched, and now he's a guy with tons of cool unique offense (love his axe kicks and knee lift varieties) who knows how to play to his strengths. The table spot was really fun and he really just dove into an empty pool on it.

I really liked Ziggler in this, and I really LOVED the final few minutes with Rollins/Ziggler. I can't always get into "athletic men wrestling athletically with athleticism" but that was a cool hot stretch. I love that Rowan got a great fired up run, sprinting all over and KOing dudes off the apron, big spin kick on Harper. Harper also came off like a star in this and it's cool to see a guy like him treated like a big deal. His dive always makes me flip out.

So that ending. I was into it. Loved the Ziggler/Rollins stuff, loved the falling dominoes Steph spot...and then Sting came out, and we had some silent staring, and the fans were way more into it than I would have guessed, and then eventually Ziggler gets the win. So....Ziggler and Rollins were just knocked unconscious for like 7 minutes!? Both of them were just lying there not moving, and then Sting put Ziggler's limp lifeless body on the also lifeless Rollins for the win. I must say that after 7 minutes without resuscitation it's quite possible that Rollins and Ziggler now will have pretty nasty brain damage to deal with. Pretty selfish, Sting. Your long entrance may have caused mild retardation in two of the most popular guys in WWE.

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2014 Ongoing Match of the Year List

19. Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro/Jack Swagger WWE Raw 3/24

PAS: Such a fun tag match. Real Americans went on quite a run in the waning days of their team. They developed a real good violent set of working over the face offense and Ambrose and Rollins were pretty remarkably good at standard babyface tag wrestling. We have an extended Ambrose face in peril, and damn is he great for I guy I had never seen work babyface before. His facial selling is great at conveying desperation and his Roddy Piper style hulk up when Cesaro was slapping him, and the Nigel lariat looked awesome here leading to the tag. Rollins hot tag was great, he comes in with such ferocity, flying all over the ring and to the floor, his dives never look set up he just flings himself recklessly. Really got me excited to see what the Shield does as a face act, they should never break them up.

ER: Another really fun match for these guys to put in their back pocket. It's really a testament to them as workers that no matter how many times all these WWE tag teams match up, all the match-ups still seem pretty fresh. That's not an easy thing to do when you're giving away long free matches on TV multiple times a week. Again, give any combo of these guys 12 minutes, sit back, mark out. Swagger has always seemed like the weak link in these matches, but you can tell the more they worked together in longer matches the more he figured out how to best integrate himself in the match. It's tough having a power wrestler gimmick when you're teaming with the guy with the most freakish power in the company. So Swagger has adapted with a cool stash of flapjacks and neat alley oops. I love the alley oop into Cesaro double stomp, sad we won't get that any longer. I loved how Cesaro and Swagger's team offense synced up and complemented the other. Cesaro does his epic flapjack uppercut, Swagger does his flapjack into an ankle lock. Rollins' hot tags have been making me rethink my "Goldust is best hot tag in the world" stance as he always kills it on the hot tags. Him adding in his double dive as a regular spot is great, as it's a regular spot but he only has done it when it actually fits organically into the match (i.e. two opponents don't just each roll out to opposite sides of the ring and wait for him to hit each dive). The way he does the dives always feels like him capializing on a situation. Hits a dive, sees the other guy outside, runs back in and nails him with a dive. The WWEDG tag team renaissance is so damn great.


2014 MOTY MASTER LIST

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2014 Ongoing Match of the Year List

10. Real Americans vs. Rhodes Brothers WWE Main Event 3/19

PAS: Another absolute gem of a tag match. I loved the opening section with Goldust and Swagger, blindingly fast stuff. 44 year old 6'6 Dustin Rhodes is moving as fast as a 22 year old CMLL tecnico, the opening section felt like a first caida lucha exchange. We get a pair of great face in perils, I loved how Cody set up the disaster kick for the hot tag, and Goldust is a true master at timing near tags and big tags. If we didn't have the Rhodes Brothers, Wyatts and Sheild we would be talking about what a great run the Real Americans are having, I love how they have worked out their double teams, the big bumps they take and how Cesaro throws in fun twists in every match. I am a southern tag fan, and this had all of the halmarks of that style with crazy amped up offense. So good

ER: Awesome stuff. Just give these guys 10 minutes and color me happy. Love the way Rhodes Bros. work with each other, with not really double teams, but tons of moves that complement the others' offense. Goldust was on fire here, making everything look too easy. His powerslam, rolling senton, back elbow from the middle rope, etc. all look so great. It's like the perfect set of offense. Cody had a really great match here too. His hot tag clotheslines on Swagger were some of his best. I loved him hitting the Disaster Kick early, and then Swagger catching it late. His moonsault press was a nice false finish as well. These guys get me to buy into more false finishes than anybody. Loved the ankle lock and Cody rolling over and brutally kicking at Swagger's arm to get him to let go. I thought for sure Cody would tap and the cut to Cesaro pulling the rope farther away was nice. Again, 10 minutes of these guys, it's as good a sure thing as any.


2014 MOTY MASTER LIST

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2014 Ongoing Match of the Year List

4. Sheamus/Christian vs. Real Americans WWE Raw 2/10

PAS: Man WWE TV has been on fire lately, the Wyatt trios on this same show just missed the cut and this was a damn out of nowhere classic. It starts out good with some fun Christian and Cesaro mat work and then just goes into overdrive as Sheamus and Cesaro just start waling on each other, it's like a WAR match broke out in the middle of random TV tag, after that everyone stepped up their game a ton. Christian was a great face in peril, and the Real American's have developed some cool double teams, and then we get a WWEDG finish which was super, loved Christians DDT off the apron, and that finishing kick was tooth loosening. It's like Kip Frye is handing out bonuses backstage or something

ER: I don't really consider myself much of a WWE mark, but whatever they're doing matchwise right now is working pretty great. I used to be able to DVR an episode of Raw and blow through it in about 30 minutes. There have been stretches over the last couple years where a couple months go by without me really digging a match on Raw. And here we are in 2014 and it's become a must-watch show (well, I still fast forward like hell during most of the angles, Orton promos, HHH/Steph scissor sessions, etc.). I'm not sure when it happened but WWE Dragons Gate is the most fun thing possible for me right now. For years a complaint about WWE is that the matches could be too slow or plodding. Well, that talking point is pretty much dead and buried as now WWE is about as go-go-go as humanly possible for guys this size. The tag and trios format is really perfect for this style as you get to avoid a bunch of awful kickouts and keep the action constantly fresh with tag outs instead of rest holds. It's like the best kind of NOAH trios or yes, WAR tags. Match was fun for a couple minutes and then took off and never looked back once Cesaro and Sheamus started trading uppercuts and Cesaro overpowered him with dual left/right uppercuts like some sort of demon Punch-Out! character. Once we go into 5 minutes of Cesaro/Swagger double teams and set-ups I was losing it. The Cesaro double stomp followed by scream into camera, Christian's right hand sucker punch on Swagger on the apron, Cesaro's flapjack uppercut on Christian (Christian always gets crazy height on that kind of stuff), Cesaro leaping out of nowhere with a forearm to stop Sheamus dead in his tracks in the corner, the tornado DDT to the floor, Sheamus' big bump to the floor with Dutch getting in his face. When this match was over I rewound it and watched it all over again. Also, big props to Ryback, Axel, Swagger, Ambrose, really everybody over the last few weeks who are having a weird competition to see who can be first to get their nose pushed into their brain by the Brogue Kick. Everybody has been leaning hard into some stiff shots this year, as if they haven't been shown in HD for a few years now.


2014 MOTY MASTER LIST

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2014 Ongoing Match of the Year List

2. Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Antonio Cesaro/Jack Swagger WWE Raw 1/6/14

ER: So it's been no secret the last few months that week in, week out the most consistently great thing about Raw/Smackdown has been Goldust performances in tag matches. This match is another awesome tag sprint on what's now a pretty impressive list for the Rhodes Brothers. Obviously the other participants are no slouches as Cesaro has been one of the best in the world over the last year, but these tags are all about the Goldust show. When he's in he's arguably the most electric performer in the world. When he's on the apron I find myself watching him and waiting for him to either tag in or just bask in his apron work. The match is a hot 10 minutes with a couple great nearfalls (WWE spent so many years having guys use a roll up as a finish that it's now one of the more believable nearfall tricks they can pull on me) including Cesaro leaping in from the floor with a glorious battering ram headbutt to break up a pin. Great callback spot with Goldust taking a mammoth yakuza kick that sends him spilling off the apron, climaxing with Dust roaring back in to save Cody a couple minutes later with a bigger yakuza kick. The Goldust swinging rana off the top is probably the coolest move a wrestler has added to his arsenal past the age of 40. Cesaro is such a great catcher that it's no shock it was Dust's best rana since adding the move. Expect more Rhodes Bros. tags to show up on our list as the year goes on, as Dustin hot tags are pretty much the most exciting thing in wrestling for me right now.

PAS: Yeah this was really fun. If they keep the team together I could see this list as 60% Rhodes brothers tags, as they have a really fun group of heel teams to work against, always seem to get enough time and are maybe the best working babyface tag team since the Rock and Roll Express. I am going to write ad infinitum about how awesome Goldust is, but I really think Cody is the most improved wrestler in the world. He has a set of impressive offensive moves which he has different ways of executing, takes big bumps and sells great. Honestly the coolest spot in the match was Cody freaking out and trying ten different counters before Goldust ran in with that awesome Yakuza kick.

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I Can't Get a License to Drive My Car, I Don't Really Need It If I'm A King

Jerry Lawler vs. Bill Dundee MPPW 4/18/98 - FUN

This was billed as the final battle between Lawler and Dundee on the debut show for Memphis Power Pro Wrestling. Lawler comes out on a throne carrying his action figure, talking up a K-Mart promotional appearance. Dundee throws him from the throne to the ring and it is on. Compacted Lawler v. Dundee, but it had the stuff you want. Big rights and lefts, diving punches, and shit talking. I liked Lawler hitting a really stiff stunner, it is normally a Lawler spot which looks bad, but he wasted Dundee with it here. Match gets cut off before it really hits 3rd gear as Austin Idol (who was doing commentary) wastes Dundee with a chair shot, setting up a Dundee v. Idol feud which never happened. Always good to see these guys match up although it was too brief to get a higher rating

Jerry Lawler vs. Tommy Dreamer NEW 1/15/11 - EPIC

This is a steel cage match billed as the final battle between Lawler and Dreamer (apparently a gimmick Lawler does a lot). Lawler starts out by giving a great promo, talking about how people always ask him if he really hates the people he wrestles. He says that most of them are just like the folks you all work with, some you like, some you don't, but he has only really despised a couple of people. One is Terry Funk, one is Michael Cole and the final guy is Tommy Dreamer. Just an awesome way to put over this match, really got me excited to see what these guys were going to do to each other. They do one of those cool Lawler deliberate starts with both guys landing a single big punch early, testing the mettle of their opponent. We get some Dreamer ECW style crowd brawling, which Lawler does fine with, before we get back into the cage for the big end run. Both guys miss second rope moves onto chairs, both guys take big nut shots. Dreamer hits a piledriver, with Lawler putting his foot on the rope. Lawler attaches Dreamer to the cage with a bolt tie and laces him with a kendo stick. Just a lot of great brawling. We get a classic ending with Dreamer about to blast Lawler with a chair, before Lawler goes back in the day and lights his ass up.

Jerry Lawler/Jim Ross vs. Michael Cole/Jack Swagger WWE Extreme Rules 5/1/11 - FUN

This was the best match of the last couple of months of this feud. Cole coming out in bubble wrap was a really amusing comedy spot, and I though Ross using the ankle lock was a great fuck you to Kurt Angle's Twitter. They probably should have saved Ross's potato shots for this match, after knocking out Cole's tooth on RAW the strap shots didn't really resonate. Lawler was really a secondary guy in this match, which seems a weird thing to do to this feud. The blowoff to Andy Kaufman v. Lawler wasn't a Lance Russell piledriver.


COMPLETE AND ACCURATE KING

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Doing A Cool Jerk, I Want You Like a King A Roo

Jerry Lawler vs. Jimmy Hart CWA 6/29/81 - GREAT

It is too bad Dean Malenko did watch this youtube video before Wrestlemania, because this is how you work this kind of match. The other big Memphis faces (Mantell, Dundee, Keirn and Roy Rogers) are at ringside as lumberjacks. Jimmy Hart has his moments, he gets some offense from a face full of powder, and a wrapped chain, but neither last long as Lawler drops his strap and his right hands. Hart is the best ever at both frenzied desperate attack, and wild crazy manager bumping. Lawler flies him all over the ring with punches, before breaking his leg with a spinning toe hold. It is amazing how well this came off considering Lawler had the deck stacked for him, and comes off like kind of a dick for snapping Harts' leg.

Jerry Lawler/Brian Christopher vs. Bill Dundee/Jamie Dundee 3/2/11 - EPIC

Man alive was this great. The best of your 2011 Lawler indy run. Everyone looked great, especially Jamie Dundee who was completely off the charts here. His offense looked great, he was taking big in ring bumps and he is still awesome at being a skeezy dirtbag. There is a point where Bill is working with Christopher and Jamie is on the outside doing jumping jacks and deep knee bends, I wanted to leap through my computer and punch him in the face. Lawler looked great too, he didn't take the bumps he has been taking in other matches, as most of the heat was on Christopher, but his offense was Jerry Lawler offense. Nothing I enjoy more then watching Bill Dundee and Jerry Lawler slug it out, they do kind of a quick exchange of punches early, then have another awesome exchange later in the match, where each guy was dropping the other with bigger shots. Christopher was fine as the face in peril, and I really enjoyed the goofball finish ending in a Dutch Mantel run in to count the pin. Lawler did have to hold Jamie down for a long time, Dutch can't run as fast as he used to. If you are on this blog, reading this review, you will enjoy this match.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jack Swagger WWE Raw 4/11/11 - FUN

Entertaining TV match. Both guys looked good, I loved Lawler doing the running airplane taunt (which is something I loved when Bischoff and Ogawa did, props for Swagger bringing that back). I also really enjoyed the no commentary with both Ross and Cole yelling encouragement from the floor, it actually kind of felt like an Ultimate Fighter fight. Lawler's dropkick to the back was awesome, as was his selling. I am not sure how the tag match is going to work, but I continue to love the weekly Jerry Lawler TV matches.


COMPLETE AND ACCURATE KING

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And As We Talked of Many Things, Fools and Kings

Jerry Lawler vs. Eric Embry USWA 4/26/91 - EPIC

This is a Texas title v. Unified title cage match. The face/heel structure has flipped from the 1989 match, as Embry is a full blown heel managed by Mr. Tojo Yammamoto. Lawler is on the mike early talking about how he has a neck injury but is fighting through it to beat on Embry. He bumps Embry around early, but stops to grab the microphone to try to get the crowd to chant Erica, Embry jumps him mid sentence and they go at it with a great back and forth punches. Embry gets the best of it, and starts brutalizing Lawler, nasty DDT, punches and elbows to the back of the neck, and even a couple of piledrivers. He would pause the beating to grab the mike and shit talk the crowd. We get an awesome Lawler strap drop comeback, before a ref bump and booking ensues. These are really two guys who work great against each other, I loved the heel Lawler v. face Embry 89 match, and this was just as good. Embry has great brutal looking offense, and such sleazy charisma, and his style fits the Lawler template perfectly.

Jerry Lawler vs. Bill Dundee USWA 12/14/96 - GREAT

This is the cliff notes version of a Lawler v. Dundee classic. It is a studio match, No DQ, for the Unified title. I really liked the way they used the No DQ stip, as both guys would use chokes and thumbs to the eye, Lawler even breaks out his illegal in TN piledriver. Downtown Bruno did a great job telling the wrestlers what they could and couldn't do. Of course it is Lawler v. Dundee, so you get everything you would expect from that match up, awesome sneaky punches by both guys, big bumps by Lawler (he takes his through the ropes side bump to the floor and a posting), Dundee's running clips to the knee, the strap drop. I always love how Dundee deals with the Lawler strap, he never begs off or freaks out, he just doubles his effort, like he is thinking "If I hit this fuck hard enough he will put that strap back up." Finish comes with blown hubcap interference from the Nation of Domination. Such a nifty short match, I really wish we had MSC footage from this period, because I imagine their arena matches were class.

Jerry Lawler vs. Jack Swagger WWE Raw 4/4/11 - FUN

Short match, but everything in it looked good. I liked how Lawler was dipping and diving avoided Swagger, and his punches looked like Jerry Lawler was throwing punches. He has really started cracking people with the dropkick. I am not sure whether Cole v. Lawler has more legs, but Cole was a fine Jimmy Hart, although he doesn't have Hart's foot speed.


COMPLETE AND ACCURATE KING

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