WWE Royal Rumble 1/28/23 Live Blog

ER: Who's ready to read the opinions of a man who hasn't watched a current WWE match since last year's WrestleMania?? Who's ready to read the scratchings of a man who is only barely acquainted with the hierarchy of the current roster?? Who's ready to read the fumblings of a man who knows nothing of current storylines?? Well then you are in for a treat, because I have found such a man. I don't know who HARDY is but I'm going to assume it's a Kurt Sutter persona. 

Doesn't Pat McAfee work there? 

1. Men's Rumble Match

ER: So Gunther is a cool #1 right? Excited to see Keto Walter. Starting him with Sheamus is even better, but I don't think they did very much with their 90. Forearm exchanges and running into a chop, I expect more. Sheamus works more stiff with Miz than with Gunther. Nice of Kofi to come in to interrupt Gunther and Sheamus killing Miz only to hit a bunch of shitty looking offense. Too much rope running in modern Rumbles, and it's practically every damn entrance. The second the match deviates from guys walking around punching each other, it just looks like a series of 20 badly done hot tags. Luckily Xavier Woods comes in to play Bad Eliminators Offense with Kofi. The backsplash and elbowdrop at the end looked good. KARRION KROSS IS STILL HERE? Wild that the Dudley Dudley of Basham Bros. is still here. What's his thing now? Did they take Gable's first name away and then give it back, or did I just assume they were calling him Gable? Karrion Kross is Renegade. I want to root for Escobar but those were some real timing and placing issues during his entrance, does that thing I hate where he comes into a Rumble and just starts working stupid regular match offense. 

Has there not been any kind of roster churn whatsoever in the past year? This is the 2021 roster so far. Okay, Brock is the exact kind of energy this Rumble needed. Rumbles need more desperation and one Really Dangerous Guy in there. RIP Santos, sorry about your hip Chad, touch break on the neck Sheamus. A series of singles matches with not a single swarming dogpile. Are they going with Banger Bros? Rollins and Gargano do the dumbest series of reversals wrestling while Dominik makes his entrance. Dominik has great taste in tights. Did I hear right? Is Balor a Dominik underling? Man what has happened in the past year. A Sheamus/Drew vs. Dominik/Balor straight tag would be really good. 

Damn Booker looks in the exact same shape as he did a decade ago. Is there any old man Booker I need to see from Reality of Wrestling? What has been done to Gunther's back this match? We all love our boys who welt up good. Montez Ford looks huge compared to a year or two ago. He is larger than Dawkins. It doesn't matter how long it's been since I've seen any part of the product, Edge Returns somehow always find me. Maybe I'm an Edge guy now, I don't know. Beth Phoenix will never make the Bull Nakano Pillager haircut look good, it always just makes her look like a Psychlo from Battlefield Earth. Psychlo. I had to look that up. Stupid. I hate the pattern of close placements of current feuds in the Rumble Entrants. Everyone comes out in subsequent entrances, they do their angle, and then everything moves on in two minutes. It's all moments, none of them settle, none of them build. Introduction, Payoff. Sheamus and Drew are at least hitting guys for 45 minutes, everything else gets paid off in minutes. Hardly any elimination teases, which is missed. Braun almost going over actually felt like it had some suspense, just because hardly anyone had come close to being eliminated prior. Everything, or nothing. I love the idea of Logan Paul coming back for revenge on Roman. There are a shocking number of guys on this roster are not as good in the ring as Logan Paul. 

Looks like Cody took about the same amount of time away from WWE as I did. The Logan Paul/Ricochet springboard collision...now THAT'S a moment. That's a spot. Paul went full speed on that. They was a splat! How is Austin Theory even here? What an odd project. It's insane how much better Logan Paul understands what all of this is about. Just shows up ever few months and looks like an old pro. A real performer. Gunther/Cody worked up to a great final, with Gunther hammering on Cody's pec, welting him up good. Perhaps went on too long, but they peaked some moments nicely. The third act of this match was better than the first couple acts. End a 70 minute match strong is better than starting it strong. 

2. The Mountain Dew Pitch Black Match

ER: Boy, for Bray Wyatt is back in the ring for the first time in two years, and I'm hear to witness it? I can really choose 'em. It would be so undignified to take a choke bomb and land on your head surrounded by Spencer's gifts black light posters. Has that popcorn been out there the whole time just because it looks cool getting scattered under black light? Probably a good call. I heard Mountain Dew Pitch Black is citrus flavored which feels feels really incorrect. The market for a good grape soda is wide open. We have sugary citrus sodas. Perfect the grape. Bray looks like the worst worker in a Gringo Loco stable. This was a waste of everyone's time. Uncle Howdy lands 3' wide on the elbow to put a cherry on this shit sundae. 51,338 people all sitting in a dome watching that. 

3. Bianca Belair vs. Alexa Bliss

ER: I cannot believe Bray Wyatt has his hands in this many angles in 2023. How did anybody let this happen?? I like Alexa's kicks to the ribs, but the poorly timed combos offense doesn't play into that, and it makes the control come off cold and out of place. I couldn't believe how quiet the crowd was when Bianca was muscling Bliss around her body to suplex her. Too much of this feels like they're just getting into position for things, and the routine isn't smooth. These combos have no punch at all, no rhythm. This was bad. I don't think there was a single exchange that looked natural or didn't require one of them to hold still in a dumb position. 

4. Women's Rumble Match

ER: Is this match going to be filled with 2021 women in the same way the Men's Rumble was the exact damn same roster? They're still billing Dana Brooke as a strongwoman? She's smaller than Liv Morgan now. Man this is a sloppy mess. It's all half speed move exchanges and half of them look botched. I don't know Roxanne Perez, but she has better energy than anyone else in there right now. Although Rhea did wipe blood on her face. Dakota Kai runs and elbows Liv Morgan in the mouth in her first second in the ring. Man I get Natalya's return too? I am killing it. Natalya's new thinner nose makes her look like a Hemingway sister. I'm glad she didn't go back to the extensions. Are they getting away from extensions now? There's a lot of neon now too. Everything is really bright in that ring. 

Asuka looks incredible. The One mask, the face paint, dance fighting the camera with her body. Iyo Sky is doing a great job staying busy in the background during everyone's entrances. She's just standing over people wailing on them, which is what I want to see. I think I like Chelsea Green more than most but that's fucked. Is this one of those Good Soldier things? I don't know when Raquel went from Gonzalez to Rodriguez but I love her throwing clotheslines. 30 wrestlers who run into the ring and dodge strikes from four other wrestlers in succession. "She's wearing Uggs right now! And she's dealing European uppercuts!" Asuka working ankle locks in the corner on Niven. The Lacey Evans cobra clutch elimination was awesome, Vega just sank to elimination like a rock in a lake. Everyone is doing a lot of weird mute pantomime. Lacey Evans is the only one making sound. I thought the Nia stuff was great, can't believe she was gone for 16 months, but her attitude getting into the ring was perfect. Some of the choreographed stuff at the end, and a bunch of them were good at hanging by the ropes with swinging legs. Ripley was the best throughout, involved in a ton of sequences and showing how much they love winners coming out in the #1 spot. Match picked up down the stretch and I think would have come off stronger if it wasn't as messy in spots. 

5. Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

ER: The time in between matches is too much, but I have appreciated my snack and drink and stretch breaks. Fat elderly cats don't play with themselves. I'm really happy how excited everyone seems for the Sami Zayn angle. I was never an El Generico guy, but around 2020 he started turning into one of my absolute favorite in-ring guys in WWE. All it took was him working more Buck Robley into his style and he became the best. It's tough working a big main event after two 70 minute matches, but these two feel up to it. Owens has nice punches for this kind of match and both are taking the bumps for it. Owens' frog splashes off the apron and off the top landed flush, the cannonball had big impact, and he sold the first Superman punch like a PEZ dispenser. Owens falling off the top rope and landing on Roman's ribs is a happy accident. This was not that, but I miss guys working blown spots into their matches. Chris Hamrick and Juvy were great at it. They should have just played up that it was another attack on Roman's ribs. I never liked Reigns as a trash talker, but I think he's great as the stoic asskicker. The gray in his beard silent looks are a great vibe, and when he's flashing the dead eyes at his own boys it can be real cold. The beatdown went long but I liked it. The pop Sami got sounded great in a big stadium, and then the real hate Roman drew after. Long, but strong ending. 

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Eric's WWE Survivor Series Live Blog 11/21/21

ER: Gotta say, it's pretty difficult to find much interest in WWE's programming these days. These constant roster cuts have turned things into the worst possible Oakland Athletics team, where any single one of my favorite wrestlers to watch could be pushed on one program and then released the next day. WWE hasn't been paying off storylines for a long time, making that aspect of their product completely pointless to follow, but still had a roster with a ton of people capable of great matches on any given night. But no wrestler allowed to get past a certain level of popularity, combined with my favorites to watch being on the chopping block every day, and absolutely terrible direction  - the biggest wrestling promotion in history has been presenting the literal worst visual wrestling presentation for several years now - has made this a nearly impossible promotion to get behind and enjoy. I know next to nothing about this card, but I have a tragically boring Sunday afternoon with a sudden hole in it so let's see if they give us something worth showing interest in. 

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Damian Priest

ER: This was at its best during the first half, before the part of the Damian Priest match where every exchange became a reversal of a sloppily thrown spin kick. I like Damian Priest when he throws strikes intended to land; I hate Damian Priest when he throws a strike intended to set up an opponent's strike, which is then thrown to set up Damian Priest's strike. This match was a 50-50 blend of those two Priests, and it kept things from being as good as they could have been. Nakamura isn't without flaw, but it's tough to not look like you're messing things up when you're forced to wait in place for someone's in-ring springboard axe handle reversal. Long story short: The parts where they hit each other were fun, the parts where they missed each other were dumb. 

I am so sick of seeing The Rock in every piece of media. I have had my official fill of The Rock. You gave us Rampage and we will always have that but I am tired of seeing The Rock be The Rock in things. 

Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

ER: Regardless of how much I don't love this specific kind of match build, where both people just come off like unlikeable smarmy assholes and the heel is the one who I guess is more of an asshole, we can all agree that Becky Lynch's Toxic tribute ring gear is perhaps her greatest all time look. That's a look that feels more important than a match with an uneven worked shoot build. The two people in the ring couldn't back up the build even if the energy felt there at times. Energy can be enough to turn something like this great, but it needed to be done without Charlotte's canned ham. You needed more shit like Becky ripping out a bit of Charlotte's hair to prevent a figure 4 reversal, and less of Charlotte doing Andrade tribute offense that makes her look like George Costanza running through pigeons. Charlotte looks like a total klutz who can't hit the broad side of a barn, and after every Lynch kickout you never know where the Al Pacino overacting dial is going to land. Charlotte has the gift of making it really obvious when she is maneuvering into position for offense, while also being really bad about being in place for offense. The moonsaults looked as bad as ever, and doing a bunch of handspring moonsaults that don't connect in the middle of a worked shoot atmosphere is just the stupidest kind of energy. Bad finish that doesn't resolve anything doesn't do anyone any favors, and surely guarantees more of the exact same build to another similar match. 

Bobby Lashley/Austin Theory/Finn Balor/Kevin Owens/Seth Rollins vs. Xavier Woods/Jeff Hardy/Sheamus/Baron Corbin/Drew McIntyre

ER: When the rosters of two different TV shows have been pointlessly churned with seemingly no communication to talent, it's a bit much to sell a 5 on 5 match expressly under the banner of Brand Bragging Rights. I could not imagine caring less about a team from Smackdown beating a team from Raw, and if there are fanbases of people who have allegiances to either Raw or Smackdown but not both, then I cannot imagine that will ever be me. Best to watch a match like this as a match randomly generated by your AKI engine, since WWE's roster at this point has the consistency of me frequently erasing wrestlers and making new CAWs in No Mercy. And as a low stakes 10 man elimination match, it settles into a very fun match very quickly. Corbin was the early standout, loved his big right hands and how good he is at creating openings and setting up spots for Balor. Woods drops a great leaping fistdrop, Sheamus runs in with a leaping knee, Drew runs in with a kick, it's a cool team working in a good rhythm. These matches are about rhythm and if everyone keeps it reasonably well, it is automatically good. You just need them to be as well oiled as any All Japan Senior Circuit trios match. 

Balor sticks Corbin with the double stomp which looked good, but a shame because Corbin was the guy here who best knew how to tie this into an Actual Match. Austin Theory is someone I enjoyed in his NXT role, who feels completely fish out of water in this match. I buy him on NXT. I do not yet buy him moving Sheamus. With Corbin gone, we quickly wind into Drew/Lashley. Now, I think McIntyre and Lashley are two of the better guys in current WWE, but for the past couple years it has felt like EVERY match has come down to Lashley vs. McIntyre. It is a good pairing that also makes me feel like I'm trapped in time. Still, give me all of Bobby Lashley's big ass backdrop bump from the crowd to ringside. I think the steam gets taken out of this way too early and then continues too long after. Once it settled down to a Rollins/Theory vs. Sheamus/Hardy tag if felt like a house show tag between guys who don't know how to work a good house show tag. I will hoover up the slop on any random WWF house show handheld from the early 90s, but is there anyone out there who would get excited to watch a Sheamus/Hardy vs. Rollins/Theory handheld? This went on too long for what it overall accomplished, and I think it was a mistake to make this seem like a long epic instead of a quick paced showcase. Nobody could look at this match and think it makes for a useful Brand Showcase, and if a Brand Supremacy match can't do that then what did it really do? 

Vince needs to do more eccentric unhinged billionaire stuff like silently pantomime with a golden egg, because what the fuck else would we need from him at this point? 

This Brand Battle Royal is not a serious match and doesn't need to be considered as one. This is a Pizza Hut commercial and not a battle royal, and we don't need to act like this matters and that Colored T-Shirt Wrestling isn't one of the stupider features of modern WWE Survivor Series. 

The Usos vs. Randy Orton/Matt Riddle

ER: A not bad tag that relies on the strong timing of Randy Orton and Jey Uso. Riddle has been having a tough to watch year, with some of the worst vignettes and listless in-ring. We all get in ruts and his rut has been difficult to see so frequently this year. But it's fairly effective have him sell, run into nicely timed Jey Uso superkicks, and make dumb faces until making the big hot tag to Orton. Orton has always been a strong apron guy and he's been utilizing his apron work well in this tag team. Apron work is one of those skills that will keep on aging wrestler's floor high with me, and I like how Orton keeps leaning on it as a strength. He's good at tossing Usos around and hitting snap powerslams, and his RKO on the Jey superfly splash looked like a great finish. This match benefitted from its lackluster surroundings, but still earned enough of its status as "the best this show has given us".

Bianca Belair/Carmella/Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley/Zelina Vega vs. Sasha Banks/Shayna Baszler/Toni Storm/Shotzi Blackheart/Natalya 

ER: I like how this looks on paper, this looks like a match I want to see! The women all have blue/red-accented gear is such a better look than the t-shirts. This looks like a real joshi final battle where everyone is taking this seriously. Guys wrestling in red t-shirts look like employees participating in a mandatory 5K.  The pace of this match is much better than the pace of the men's match. It's a shame Carmella went out so early, but Natalya did that weird thing where she memorably shows up in a match with 10 people, and I liked Baszler rolling on the mat with Ripley. The match was already the most fun of the night when we got to the great Sasha/Bianca section. WrestleMania feels like an eternity ago but their match was the best WWE match of this year and their in-ring chemistry still has a lot to offer. When they're in the ring together they really feel like the two biggest stars in the company, the two closest to being chopped down, and there are few people who actually feel like stars when I watch them. Bianca's kip-ups look punched with confidence and Sasha is able to convey the same kind of "can you believe this shit?" attitude Charlotte shouts to the back row but using only her eyes. 

Sadly, we hit a bad patch right after those two megastars made the crowd sit up and pay attention, with some quick eliminations and suddenly several women all lying dead around the ringside area selling mystery injuries. This isn't a ladder match, why are they all suddenly doing ladder match disappearance selling? A few dumb do-si-do moments on the floor lead to a Sasha count out in completely unsatisfying fashion, and the way Bianca goes from being down 4-1 to eliminating Baszler and Shotzi felt forced and cheap. The disappearance selling takes away a lot of the charm of a charismatic Survivor Series match, a series that can benefit from apron work. These women get so out of sight while selling nothing that you forget who is even still in the match! You could have made Belair look really really good while also having her plausibly fight off Shotzi and Baszler, but this felt like suddenly everybody had to be somewhere and it killed the buzz. 

Big E vs. Roman Reigns

ER: I think this was a good match, but these Roman matches have really become the blown out 150 minute MCU epic instead of the tight 90 minute action and stunts movies that he could be having. This was a long show, filled with long matches that mostly didn't deliver, and you need to be better at reading the arena than this main event was. This was a cold, tired crowd and that did not lead to any kind of pace being pushes AT ALL. That said, Roman did his specific thing that - love it or hate it - did turn a dead silent crowd into a slightly more involved crowd the longer he stuck to his routine, and there's some respect there. In its favor, even though the melodrama of them getting to the action was at times too much, when the action was gotten to it looked like a well done Godzilla/Mothra collision. Big E took some hard bumps for Roman's biggest stuff, and that uranage on the shoulders looked deadly. Roman's punches all looked big and the deadlift powerbomb was impressive. I wish we could have made this more of an unpredictable Brock bombfest and gotten out of here quicker, but they made the good stuff look good and that stands out on this show. 

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WWE Backlash Running Late Blog 5/16/21

ER: So apparently there STILL isn't a rewind feature on Peacock and I didn't realize. I'll go back and pick up whatever I missed when it's uploaded. 

Sheamus vs. Ricochet

ER: I thought this kicked all kinds of ass, great way to kick off a show (even if it was the last match I watched). This one really cements Backlash as a super strong show, high floor, high ceiling. This is the first singles match ever between Sheamus and Ricochet, and it's a really great time for it to happen for the first time. Sheamus has been on fire since his return, and Ricochet is having his best in ring year since at least 2018. It's a good time for them to finally cross paths in a singles. Sheamus lays in his beating, really pounds Ricochet's chest, and throws a couple different knees that POP in replay. I love watching Sheamus kick, knee, and elbow his way through a match, and Ricochet's flying added some fun flash. I love a guy who can lean jaw first into kneelifts and then hit some fly springboards. I never got the sense Ricochet could win this match, but that's fine because he also didn't look like a total joke. He looked like a guy who could surprise Sheamus at some point, and Sheamus remains on his tear. 

Asuka vs. Rhea Ripley vs. Charlotte

ER: I thought this was good! I was not excited to see two three ways on this card (three, including the Mysterio handicap match), but I wound up enjoying or even loving all of them. This felt like Charlotte's best performance all year, which is amusing as I'm pretty sure I said that about Rey Mysterio and Roman Reigns, so this show was apparently the time for the big stars to show the hell up in 2021. I also think this was one of Asuka's best performances of the year, had a nice run through all of the match, felt like the most involved in many ways. But my main take away was that it was good to see Charlotte lean into her better qualities, and find better ways to integrate her more recent Barry Darsow constant chattering. I don't think every wrestler intends to become Barry Darsow, but sometimes it happens, and Charlotte's turn as a Mean Girl Barry Darsow have been mixed. Charlotte has downright stunk in the ring lately, looking completely distracted and dominating too much TV time for the low quality of work. This felt like a step in the right direction. 

Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode vs. Rey Mysterio 

ER: Dominik taken out earlier in the night, and it gives us this really great old school handicap match, with an all time legendary babyface gutting it out against what feels like a tag team of Hennig and Rude. The Dirty Dawgs are - believe it or not - one of the best teams in 2021 wrestling, and Roode/Ziggler have been putting on their strongest work in years. Their team name is horrible, but it also fits, and their ringwork and chemistry are good enough that the work surpasses the name. This is Rey's strongest performance of the year, a year that started with him looking aged to me for the first time in his career. A slow first 2-3 months has lead to a wildly resurgent Spring, and it still amazes me that we get to still be seeing REY MYSTERIO performances. He is so good at making this a compelling handicap match, knowing the exact moments to make his comebacks, knowing exactly how to take a valiant but sympathetic underdog beating. Roode and Ziggler are great at working their end, and I really think this tag is the best possible role for each. Both thrive within this tag structure, have very good timing for it, and it really plays to their individual strengths. Their cutoff spots are good and they stooge very well for all of Rey's best spots. There's a fantastic callback spot, where early in the match Rey hits his sliding body press to the floor, and then later Roode throws him into that spot and directly into a Ziggler superkick. Rey's selling from the spot is superb, and the later match payoff of him sliding out on the offensive again, sunset flip powerbombing Ziggler into the apron was great. Dominik's late match involvement was well integrated, and I think he keeps showing improvement. Working pros like Roode and Ziggler is helping him, and I think that bears well on them. But this match was a Rey match, and was one of the great Mysterio performances, a genuine later career highlight of one of the greatest careers ever. 

PS: Very happy we get to see Rey still delivering on a big stage. He is only 46 which is pretty much still luchador prime (I mean Black Terry is still having MOTYs in his late 60s), and I enjoyed him working in this classic tag team structure. Handicap match with the partner coming from the back is tag team wrestling going way back (we even see a version of it in French Catch), and Mysterio and Ziggler and Roode all play their roles well. Dirty Dogs have some really nasty double teams, some good shit talking, if this was a new team instead of two guys who have been around forever, I really think they would be getting a ton of props. That baseball slide into the superkick was incredible, as was the Rey final cut off baseball slide into the powerbomb. I didn't love the timing of the final frog splash, Dominick took forever to get up to the top rope, and the impact looked more like a celebrity frog splash (I think Snoop Dogg had more impact) than a wrestler's version. Seems like keeping Dominick in the locker room for 70% of the match is the way to go, but I am all for Rey getting another run.

The Miz vs. Damian Priest

ER: A zombie lumberjack match, in tribute to the first episode of the real ECW, and it actually winds up being much more fun than I expected it to be. Dumb as hell, but I'd rather these two work dumb than work serious. I liked Miz a lot here, and I think acting like a doofus around zombies while taking silly Edge offense from Priest is a good spot for him to excel. There's a fun moment where Miz and Priest stand back to back and fight zombies together, man united, then back in the ring Miz goes for a high five as a way to Trojan horse a kick to the stomach (that gets caught). Morrison comes out and wipes out a bunch of zombies with parkour, and then gets SWARMED and dragged to his death by zombies! Part of me wants Morrison to disappear for 6 months to commit to this and come back like parkour Onryu. Zombie Parkour is a brilliant gimmick for Morrison, as then he doesn't have to act or promo, he can just brainlessly go through gymnastics showcases and it would give everything much more substance. This was a good use of time, and we got to see two different people kick a zombie in the face with a spinkick. 

Bianca Belair vs. Bayley

ER: Belair's gear is incredible, like the kind of iconic look that they need to have on an action figure to memorialize it. Her whole look is superstar, and it's one of the moments where I think Sasha and Bianca could one day be talked about as the two biggest American women's wrestling stars ever. It's an attainable career destination. And this match was good, a strong Belair performance in her first big title defense. They were both active in good ways, and Bayley did the kind of performance that makes someone like Belair look like a strong champ. Bayley bumped big and didn't work "crazy" (I don't actually know if Bayley is supposed to be working a Woman Driven Mad gimmick right now or if she just got into large crimping and it's humid). This felt like a good showcase for Bianca, she looked like someone confident in her spots, and Bayley really knew how to make those spots look good. Very satisfying. The finish is somewhat odd with Bayley appearing to kick out, but it's a simple way to lead immediately to a good rematch that Bianca wins decisively. 

Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Braun Strowman

ER: I've enjoyed the way these three have interacted, it's been one of the positives of 2021 WWE. They are three heavyweights who all wrestle their size, and that is going to give you a big advantage in 2021. I don't typically like three ways, but I am confident in them having a good one, all are good at coming up at ways to be out of a match and/or get someone out of a match for long stretches, and they go hard when they not the one disappeared. And this was good, because of those reasons, heavyweights crashing into each other like heavyweights. Drew had another good performance, one of the most consistent performers this year, a cool big babyface who can throw bigger guys like Braun and Lashley. Braun has never looked more cut, and Lashley has found the right way to play his personality. It's a good combo of elements for a match like this, with all men taking some good bumps and picking their moments. Braun lands on his shoulders on a couple of gnarly suplexes, Lashley flies hard into his spears, McIntyre takes a wicked Braun powerbomb through the announce table, and they do a couple of entrance ramp bumps and a big stunt spot. Now, I think the in ring stuff was much cooler than the stunt spots, because these dudes have unique things they can bring in ring. Give me more of Lashley/Drew hitting a delayed vertical suplex on Braun, please. They kept a good pace, had some impressive big man stuff, good heavyweight fight. 

Cesaro vs. Roman Reigns

ER: I thought this was a pretty great main event, the kind of match that felt like it earned its main event gravitas indulgences. This was my favorite Reigns performance of the year, a year that has been good for Roman promos but bad for Roman matches. This felt like more of a classic Roman quality main event, worked within his modern heel character. The fit felt good here, and it hasn't totally before for me. Cesaro on the other hand has a realistic claim to best in the world right now in ring, and is now doing it during one of the strongest pushes of his career. Cesaro doing his thing on the main stage is something I've wanted to see, and Reigns is someone who makes a good opponent for him. A lot of things felt big here, lots of Cesaro uppercuts that look fully absorbed by Roman, no theatrical followthrough, just Cesaro throwing his whole arm into Reigns' chest and neck. Reigns' superman punches look good in all the slo mo shots, and this match is the best kind of balance between a main event I enjoy and a main event WWE wants their wrestlers to have. It's the kind of match that looked really great in highlight form, but sustained interest over nearly a half hour. It was probably too long, but they filled the time well and everything looked snug. Roman can lose his "gotta work 25 in the main" HHH influences tomorrow and I'd be happy, but this was good. They made big suplex spots look great, crashes into barricades and posts look great, but Reigns also made so many veins pop out on Cesaro's head during a headlock choke that I thought it was going to burst. That kind of thing will always make a match kick ass, and it did. 

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WrestleMania 37 Night Two 4/11/21

Pretty hard shoes to fill after last night's show, and this lineup does a lot less for me on paper. Still, I'm excited for Asuka/Ripley and a couple others, but there is always the huge Fiend landmine bobbing around...and these waters also have a Hulk Hogan pirate promo which sounds like him hosting a shitty regional children's show. The Hogan calls the crowd scalawags and they go into this kind of gross routine of Titus playfully scolding Hogan for using bad words and Hogan doing a "Don't make me walk the plank!" bad wittle boy routine. So this is starting terribly. 

Randy Orton vs. The Fiend

ER: Oh man they're leading with Fiend. Has Orton always had full skull sleeves? I think I might have liked that Fiend entrance if I knew it wasn't leading to a Fiend match. It's probably much better for the crowd to get iced out in the first match, because then they can always get their energy back. Putting this on towards the end risks killing everybody's reaction and everyone wrestling in silence. This whole thing was really bad, but it went mercifully quick at least? They walk around slowly for awhile, and Fiend is moving slow enough that I'm not sure if that's part of his character or if Wyatt has two wooden legs. He was walking weird up on his jack in the box and he just moves so damn slow in the ring. The rope hang DDTs don't look great, the crowd chanting Holy Shit at Alexa Bliss's headgear leaking oil made me laugh, and I was happy to have this out of the way. 

Tamina/Natalya vs. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax

ER: I'm weirdly excited for this one. The Baszler/Jax team was a slow starter but they've finally been jelling as a team the last month or so. Tamina has more momentum than she's ever had with a great short hoss fight with Nia a couple days prior, and Tamina also finally has a proper wrestling look. They had a great interaction in the Royal Rumble too, let's see what they do on the grandest stage! The early Tamina/Nia exchanges were good, thought the headbutt battle looked good and the off balance striking was a nice look. This got really good when Baszler and Nia were cutting Natalya off from Tamina. Baszler looks like she breaks Natalya's jaw with a knee lift, and Natalya's selling was really strong during the control segment, yelling and actually garnering sympathy while Shayna worked over her knee in painful ways. But Tamina is a beat late on a save and then whiffs the hot tag, Natalya makes dumb faces while waiting too long to catch a Tamina crossbody, and the match drifts on a little too long. It built nicely and kind of overshot the mark, but I also like that they were treating the title shot like a big deal. Tamina is still a little rigid in spots, but the energy is there and she actually does feel fresh out of nowhere. It's amazing what a new look will do to someone. Nia did a great job feeding and selling for her, Shayna came off punishing, and the match overall was perfectly fine. 

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens

ER: Zayn has been really entertaining in ring the last several months, but this is a pairing we've seen a lot now. Not sure what they're going to have to do to make this iteration of the match interesting. And this match really didn't work for me. It felt like a condensed version of them at PWG, nothing but corner suplexes, apron brainbuster, drivers, more suplexes, moves dropped onto knees, all 2006 indy offense and no heart. This felt so cold and mechanical, just some big spots with no juice. Sami throwing short body blow punches in the corner made me hopeful it was taking a little left turn into something different, but we came back pretty quick. Sami has been working like a deranged Buck Robley the last year, and this was he and Owens going back and sleepwalking their way through one of their old singles. Logan Paul involvement was a total nothing, dude looked bored out their the entire time (although, to be fair to Paul, sure). He takes a great stunner, so I guess that's something. 

Sheamus vs. Matt Riddle

ER: So Matt Riddle has become a pretty unbearable personality huh? Sheamus has been awesome since coming back last summer, and I think he's been the most consisted in ring guy of 2021. Riddle's stock has never been lower. But if they beat the hell out of each other it wouldn't take much for this to be really good. And they DO beat the hell out of each other, but I thought they went too far into Riddle just kicking out of everything. The match had a lot of stiff strikes and big spots, but it felt a little uninspired and perfunctory. I'm always going to flip for spots like Riddle flipping over the ropes into a KO knee lift, but after the close Riddle kickouts down the stretch you could hear the crowd not into it, not buying what they were going for. I appreciate them going for a couple of big top that spots, actually thought Riddle was going to hit some crazy Candido style top rope powerbomb, but it's a shame Sheamus slipped off the ropes for what was surely the match finishing top rope White Noise. If that top rope kneedrop was an improv, it's a cool thing to throw into a match. I'm glad Sheamus got the title off Riddle, the guy deserves to have some belt, and I kind of think Riddle needs a retooling and some time away. 

Apollo Crews vs. Big E

ER: I'm already not into the Saba Simba-ing of Crews, but I cannot believe they actually have an entire Fela Kuti percussion section's instruments at ringside. Like what are we doing here? There are at least 9 conga drums at ringside, and not a single one of them get used in any way during this Nigerian Drum Match. It's just cane shots everyone. The stip really weakened the usual strong Big E singles match layout, and it took Crews taking a couple of Jeff Hardy level bumps to really make this pick up. Crews takes a uranage from the apron to the ring steps and misses a great frog splash through a table. But this all felt more underwhelming than it should have felt, like a Smackdown match with a hastily thought out gimmick that's not as good as the match they had on Smackdown already. Babatunde's debut would have been way better if they leaned further into having him be Giant Idi Amin (since it appears they're just treating African as its one large nebulous country). Babatunde's jacket didn't fit and his gear came off more Marching Band Leader than Ruthless Dictator. Still excited for Big E/Babatunde. 

Rhea Ripley vs. Asuka

ER: This match has an uphill battle trying to find the right tone, as nobody is going to root against Asuka, but Ripley isn't exactly a heel and even gets her full entrance song performed live by a woman who sounded like she couldn't hear where the 1 and 3 were coming in. So the fans don't really know how to react to Ripley while they cheer Asuka. This didn't really feel like the big Rhea match they wanted it to. be, and it wasn't the match I wanted it to be either. It wasn't bad, but Rhea's personality came off a little lethargic, and maybe she was having a tough time being the default heel in a Defining Babyface Moment. Tough spot to make work. Asuka looked great, and I loved that Ripley kick she caught and turned into sick heel hook, but again it came off more like a cool babyface catching a heel, and that's not what the finish wanted. Ripley's bump off the apron the Asuka's DDT was awesome, looked dangerous, but I wasn't into the finish. I don't think the moment was there, and I think Ripley losing wouldn't have been bad. Her challenge build felt rushed anyway and it wouldn't be difficult to build her more effectively into a rematch.  This didn't feel like it built well enough to its result. 

Daniel Bryan vs. Edge vs. Roman Reigns

ER: Edge is a somewhat compelling work around to have in a match in 2021, a real test for Bryan and Reigns, a difficult component of wrestling Dogme 95. "Work Edge into your heated feud as a third" is tougher than an all location shooting obstruction. And sadly, this match ain't it. Last night was a real upbeat, brisk show with a high floor. Night Two has been dragging a lot more and it's not because of "too much wrestling". The match pacing is different on Night Two and really only the women's tag match felt like it was worked with the right vibe. And now, I think we have to start talking about how Maybe There is a Problem With the Main Event Big Dog. Reigns newer Head of the Table work is starting to seem outright boring, and I don't think any of his slow paced show closers have landed with me. He's a guy who has been wrestling mostly on PPV, meaning his wrestling these days can only be judged on these over long slow main events. I actually think Edge was holding up his end of whatever this was, as if I am going to sit through an Edge match in 2021 the least he can do is make the stupidest faces of his stupid faced career, and absolutely stick Bryan with the spear. Check. Daniel Bryan was expectedly the glue to this one, and he did a really good job at it. He was better at integrating Edge and Reigns into things, and his sequences were the matches' high points. But it's a Bryan match wasted on something like this, which wasn't memorable and felt a level below for everyone involved. And that's kind of the story of Night Two, is that almost everything on the show - outside of the women's tag maybe - felt a level below everyone involved. 

This was not an insultingly bad night of wrestling, but this was a kind of boring night of wrestling. I don't think it had to be this boring, and while I was expecting it to be not good, I wasn't expecting boring. This one fell flat with me, and only a good-not-great women's tag saved this from being mostly a snooze. 

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WWE Fastlane I Didn't Know If I Had Peacock or Not Blog 3/21/21

ER: I didn't know if I had Peacock or not, and it was kind of annoying to figure out, so I wasn't going to bother watching Fastlane. But then I realized it was still on the Network, and I know how to work that!! 

Matt Riddle vs. Mustafa Ali

ER: This was active enough, but I didn't like where they took most of their activity. I like how they worked both of the Riddle lands on Ali's boots/Ali lands on Riddle's knees spots, but there were some contrived set ups for a lot of the big stuff. I thought the Koji clutch after the fisherman's buster was dumb, and the set up for the middle rope piledriver was ridiculous. But the post match Retribution angle was hilarious. It's so funny hearing Ali address them by all their silly names, and how they all acted the walk out with gravitas but it comes off next level because Ali is doing serious acting with them. "No, Slapjack come on. Don't you walk through those ropes Slapjack. You're nothing without me Slapjack!" Ali running down Mace and T-Bar was funny, because Slapjack and Reckoning just had this standing up to my boss moment, but these two are making growling sounds and acting like Ninja Turtle villains. Like who the fuck is Retribution? What do they stand for? What's in the Retribution Mission Statement? What's their ethos? Are they a union? A cult? It's really funny. 

Sasha Banks/Bianca Belair vs. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax

ER: This tag was well managed and competently worked, but it never built to the level of interest it should have, and the Banks ego stuff at the end came off flat. Sasha's 2021 has been a major drop from her 2020, the character is just not right and the match work is suffering for it. Shayna and Nia controlling Belair made for the compelling parts. Shayna really dropped her with a knee that she would pay for later, Nia gets dropkicked into a nice Belair rana, Belair takes a big spill to the floor, it's good stuff. But Sasha looks messy on her hot tag, reaching to catch Baszler kicks before Baszler has thrown them. But she absolutely tags Shayna with a knee, and I loved her pouncing with the Banks Statement because of it. The ego drama at the end was bad, filled with dumb WrestleMania sign pointing and a stupid reaction from Banks. Nobody came off looking good because of this. For some reason I did like Belair still leaping to almost break up the losing pin on Banks, but this segment didn't help anybody. 

Big E vs. Apollo Crews

ER: They won me over a bit with the deliberate pace and stiff work, but that finish was a real loser. The match proper was filled with good looking stuff, but a disputed 3 count finish will never help any wrestler in any angle. Nobody gets excited by whether someone's shoulder wasn't actually pinned, and it leads to two awkward 2.5-3 counts where nobody is quite clear on what happened. But Big E hits Crews with the spear through the ropes and then hits two of those disgusting apron splashes he does. I don't know how much he actually pulls that apron splash or how much he just wrecks dudes' ribcages, but it feels like the WWE roster move I would least want to tank. He really gets a ton of impact on those standing splashes, they're really remarkable. His belly to belly suplexes looked good, and Crews' comeback looked decent. The finish was a real fizzle, but Crews looked a ton better during his post match beatdown of E than he looked during the match. Crews would be better off doing cool as Olympic slams and less jumping spinkick combos. 

Braun Strowman vs. Elias

ER: Elias was a decent Rick Rude-as-Johnny Polo here, and all of Braun's heaviest stuff looked heavy. Elias took bumps in fun ways that were a slight twist on standard back bumps, loved how he landed on Braun's big scoop chokeslam. Braun laid Elias out with a great clothesline that looked like Elias blindly running into a tree branch, and I dug how much Elias relished his brief time in control. This filled its role on a card. 

Seth Rollins vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

ER: Rollins PPV matches are such a drag. He's always a villain taking way too long to explain his evil plan. It is so hard to stay interested in Seth Rollins and the ways he chooses to pace his matches. Nakamura looked good when he fought back, and took a great bump to the floor after getting knocked off the buckles, really fell to the floor like a Chris Hamrick in leather rather than vinyl. Rollins does hit a very nice bullet tope, throwing his whole shoulder and side into Nakamura's torso and hurtling himself into the barricade because of it. That is a Cool Seth Rollins Moment. But Rollins also worked to Rollins up the rest of this, and by the time we got into a bunch of memorized sequences it's just impossible to stay engaged. Nothing can ever come off organic with this guy, always has to be the most focus grouped version of a wrestler every time. 

Drew McIntyre vs. Sheamus

ER: These two have really good chemistry, and I do not mind that we're getting the same match up run several times. I like the way these two beat each other up, and it's been a highlight of 2021 wrestling a quarter of the way through the year. The only thing I don't like about their matches is when McIntyre inevitably does his nice headbutt and Byron Saxton says in a leprechaun voice "Give us a kiss, Sheamus!" Byron Allen is more like it. This match was hard hitting as expected, but was more interesting when they kept things in the ring. Drew throwing Sheamus with several belly to belly suplexes (and Sheamus knowing how to land heavy on the suplexes) was engaging stuff, because no spot was moved to without one of the guys throwing a stiff body shot, or a chest welting chop, or a punch to the cheek. The brawl through the video screens had a lot of hard landings on non-mat surfaces, but it was a little meandering no matter how stiff it was. Still, a rolling senton on the floor will always look cool, and Sheamus getting thrown crashing through a video screen was a neat stunt spot and good looking fall. But Sheamus hitting a sick knee to Drew's chin in the ring is something I'd rather see more. And behold, things get immediately better the second they get back into the ring, and the slap exchange looked like two guys trying to KO each other with slaps. Crazy how much speed Drew can get behind a slap from his knees. Let these two keep kicking the hell out of each other. It's made for some great TV. 

Randy Orton vs. Alexa Bliss

ER: Maaaan who even wants this? Who out there wants this? Show yourselves! I liked Burn Victim Thing but I do not care about any of this! 

Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns

ER: I thought this was a pretty tremendous Bryan performance contained within a match that didn't hit what it was going for. This was way too long in the tooth and didn't work on as grand a scale as they were hoping it would. Roman's extremely slow and methodical newer style may work for some, but for me it usually feels like gratuitous time padding, and saps a lot of a match's drama. Bryan looked great throughout though and kept this buoyant. He was good at filling time by purposely annoying Reigns, getting under his skin, and all of his stick and move strikes looked like they were actually slowing Roman. Bryan's knees all looked great, and the Yes locks kept looking more and more like they could get an actual tap. The Edge involvement was as bad acted as expected, but Uso made the most of the situation with his interference. I think Roman's slow as hell pacing was driving me nuts here because it was always very clear that things were ending with Edge and Uso involvement, so every long minute we weren't getting to that point was just one more minute until the inevitable. Bryan was put into the position of having to make a decent trade for a player who just very publicly demanded to be traded, and it's a testament to his abilities that he kept this one as interesting as it was. 

ER: A pretty underwhelming show, with McIntyre/Sheamus really the only full match worth seeking out, although Bryan purists would love his performance in the title match. I guess it was pretty obvious this show would only be filler due to not actually needing a PPV in between Elimination Chamber and Mania. 

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WWE Elimination Chamber 2/21/21 Not Quite Live Blog

Elimination Chamber used to be my favorite gimmick match, probably because it's only seen once per year and the Rumble match has gotten far more formulaic over the past decade. The on paper lineups don't look great for this year's Chamber matches, but it's a match type that has had several great matches with so-so on paper participants. Any Chamber match has the chance to be good, so that's a good thing have going into a show. 

Mustafa Ali vs. John Morrison vs. Ricochet vs. Elias

ER: I like it when the pre-show matches have some kind of immediate implications, here the winner gets a spot in a three way match later on the PPV, makes this match feel like there are at least some stakes. The match, sadly, stinks. It's got all the problems that the weakest multiman matches have, guys getting in each other's way or lingering noticeably long in one spot waiting for someone else, and a lot of the sequences come off a little messy. Ricochet works hard trying to take folding bumps off everyone's offense, and it helps, and there's a fun moment where Retribution catches Ricochet on a dive after saving Ali. But the chained sequences felt a little off, the big moments weren't there, it mostly fell flat. 

Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn vs. King Corbin vs. Jey Uso vs. Cesaro vs. Daniel Bryan 

ER: This match had some nice highs, but had some problems with pacing and some overly scripted multiman stuff. Bryan and Cesaro are a great pair, but their starting section felt kind of rote, which is a things that's happened a lot in big WWE gimmick matches the past few years. A lot of sequences are ripped directly from other, non-gimmick matches, and it's a boring way to work a gimmick match (even if what you're doing looks good). Nobody wanted to see a War Games where guys are working their normal singles match spots, and that's what happens through a lot of this. Most would probably scoff at the idea of Baron Corbin joining a Daniel Bryan/Cesaro match and improving it, but that's what happens. Corbin beating the hell out of both of them was maybe my favorite run of the match, especially when he was ramming Bryan's knee into the support corners of the chamber pods. Corbin even smashed Bryan's face into the chains and punched him hard in the side of the head. Zayn was a fun addition but also added distracting moments that everyone else had to just sell quietly during, and I don't think his cage climb was worth the time it took to knock him off, even though Cesaro doing pull ups at the top of the chamber was a cool visual. Still, Zayn took harder bumps overall than anyone in the match, and it's important to have that guy in a chamber match. I thought Corbin's elimination was handled poorly, as he had been such a wrecking ball and then essentially got put away after a big swing and a sharpshooter. Almost right before that Corbin had caught Cesaro and slammed him into the cage, dropping him across the turnbuckles, clotheslined him back into the ring, and had taken far less damage during his time in the match. Didn't like that at all. Uso was a real highlight, and him slamming Owens' arm into the chamber exit and teeing off with superkicks was awesome, my favorite part of the match, great way to take someone out. I thought the overall quality of the match was lower than most chamber matches though, and it never really felt like it gelled as a whole match. Chamber matches have a high floor, but this leaned a little bit much into the things I don't love about chamber matches. 

Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns

ER: This was a good angle to either continue a feud while beating Bryan quick, and Reigns looked strong in his quick steamrolling. The more they book Reigns as Brock Lesnar by having him work mostly PPV matches, the more special the opportunities at his belt seem. Here you get Bryan working a long match and getting immediately ground and pounded, but not before nearly getting Reigns with a flash Yes Lock. It really seemed plausible that Bryan could have tapped him, and even when Reigns lifted him up for a hard powerbomb I was expecting a Bryan triangle. However, I couldn't care much less about Edge challenging for a title.  

Matt Riddle vs. John Morrison vs. Bobby Lashley 

ER: This was mostly a typical bad three way, though I liked Lashley running through and treating Riddle and Morrison like tackling dummies. Morrison had a bunch of dumb overly flippy bumps off Lashley offense that didn't need flowery bumping, but Lashley's explosiveness made it all work. Riddle took a big high backdrop bump on the floor, Lashley caught Morrison with a huge uranage slam, and the two corkscrew topes to take Lashley out looked good. But the Riddle/Morrison martial arts exchanges looked stupid and too telegraphed, things were always better the simpler they kept it. Something like Riddle hitting a running elbow smash looked way better than any of their "missed kick/spin around" sequences, of which there were several. I thought the finish was really weak, Riddle and Morrison overshot their rope flip finishers, Lashley felt absent from the action too long, and then apparently the match was No DQ? MVP is sitting at ringside the whole match with a crutch, the match is apparently No DQ, and MVP spends the match not interfering? That's pretty dumb. 

Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax vs. Bianca Belair/Sasha Banks

ER: Another underwhelming tag from the Baszler/Jax team, another reminder that there should be more chemistry there, but there just doesn't seem to be any. I keep waiting for it to work, but I just don't think it will. This started out rough, with a bit too much acting and reacting that needs better timing to work, but when it settled into Baszler working over Banks I think it peaked. Baszler was mean bending Sasha's wrist around, but they abandon it all too early so it doesn't evolve into anything important. Sasha's comeback is good, but more because she works well with Baszler, and not because of where it came in the match. It felt like Sasha just took Baszler's offense for awhile, and then she decided to do her own. The nearfalls and backslide and cradles looked good, but they didn't really feel earned. The finish was no good, didn't need the Reginald involvement, just made Banks look like a dummy. Jax's timing continues to look completely off since her return from injury, and that seemed like it was throwing off Belair too. Belair feels stuck in a rut, and I don't anyone came out of this match looking better. 

Drew McIntyre vs. AJ Styles vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Sheamus vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton 

ER: This was pretty easily the match of the night, even with some minor issues, as it's really the only match of the night that was good. If a show goes out on its best match, it tends to leave a better impression in my mind. I'm simple. But this was good, and it was a great long Drew McIntyre title defense. I thought they did a good thing getting rid of Orton early, with a flash high leverage Kofi roll up, because him giving RKOs to Hardy and Kingston gave us an interesting wrinkle. Styles gets in the match before he needs to be in, trying to get a pin on either of them. I like that it took him convincingly long enough to break out of his pod and get to them that they were able to kick out. Everybody was hitting hard, with Drew especially throwing huge chops and forearms with his full weight. Kingston took some big spills and hit a great tope en reversa off a pod onto everyone. I think McIntyre/Kingston/Hardy/Styles did a great job filling time until Sheamus came in, and I thought the match did a good job at building to the Sheamus/McIntyre showdown. I think a pretty strong case could be made that Sheamus and McIntyre have been the best WWE in ring guys of 2021, and it felt like a big deal when they finally went at it. The slug out looked good, both guys throwing potato shots, and I thought they did a good job of actually making any of the final 4 look like they had a shot. I was believing Hardy could win, and loved when he hit the swanton on Styles only to get his legs buckled by a Claymore. They did a good job of making the killshots unexpected, like Sheamus getting hit with a Styles flying forearm right after nailing McIntyre with a brogue kick. They did the strong form of WWE finisher chaining, the kind that are chained but feel like their bursting in unexpectedly from a blind side of the camera. 

I think the post-match attack by Bobby Lashley was good, and the way they handled the Miz cash in felt strong too. I liked the angle more than the actual result. I like all six guys in the actual chamber match and Lashley more than I like the Miz in ring, and I'd rather see main event matches with any of them instead. But, I like that this sets up a ton of worthy challengers for Miz, and there could be a lot of good matches there. 

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WWE Royal Rumble 2021 Live Blog

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler vs. Asuka/Charlotte

ER: I thought Charlotte and Nia looked like a real mess throughout their whole Raw match earlier in the week, and they seem to have less chemistry a week later at the Rumble. I think it's pretty shocking how much Charlotte especially has regressed in the past couple years, and I wish they would hurry up and get Asuka away from her. I've mostly been a high voter on Jax but she's been noticeably slow and lazier in exchanges since coming back (ACL tears in both knees will do that to you). Things get clunky whenever Charlotte is in this one, and part of that is Baszler and Jax not being great at getting into position for Charlotte's offense, but a bigger part is Charlotte requiring people to too often be in specific position for offense that doesn't look great. She made a great diving save to break up a pin, but every one of her stomach kicks looked like she forgot what move she was supposed to be replicating. I'm also well beyond the point of needing to see Ric Flair on TV more than once or twice a year, and do not care about this angle with him and Lacey. I don't think this match ever came together as anything resembling a satisfying tag, the Asuka/Charlotte pairing does nothing for me, and the Baszler/Jax pairing has been very underwhelming. They need to separate all four of them and see if that helps freshen any of them. 

Goldberg vs. Drew McIntyre

ER: I am here for MMA shorts Goldberg. Really, I am here for Goldberg, so. This didn't really have the same kind of impact or sustained heat of the other Goldberg comeback matches, and ended really flat. It had a lot of promising steps throughout, like the spear nearfall to start, or the spear through the barricade, and I fully bit on the jackhammer kickout. Once Goldberg hit it I actually thought they were giving us another Goldberg run. And while I liked Goldberg's missed spear chest first corner bump, McIntyre needs to find something a little more interesting to do than making dumb Edge faces in the corner for FAR too long while Goldberg sells damage. I know part of the modern WWF dogshit style is to make dumbshit faces in the corner for too long before hitting your finisher, but this felt way too long, and ended this on an unfortunate note. 

Carmella vs. Sasha Banks

ER: A lot of this match really was not hitting for me, until things picked up with the Reginald involvement. It felt like they kept skipping steps within the match, like there weren't any kind of transitions between offense, they just went right to moves. Except Carmella was doing the moves deliberately slow, because heel I guess, and then when Sasha took over she was already doing "frustrated by only a 2 count" faces. It all felt really underbaked. The Reginald involvement added something unique to the match, loved him catching Sasha and eating a headscissors, this guy rules. But he's quickly sent to the back and Carmella does a dive that lands her right on her face. It used to be Sasha's job to almost break her face on dives, so Carmella is trying to do the equivalent of stealing her rival's finisher. Ending felt abrupt and not set up super well, with Carmella getting a couple nice reversals of big Banks spots, but then just getting tapped anyway. This was not a strong title match, and there aren't any weaker Banks title matches coming to mind. Major disappointment. 

Women's Rumble Match

ER: Bayley/Naomi is a good way to start the Rumble, but MAN has Naomi been a complete afterthought for seemingly 2 years. Her whole career has felt like her having a big showing on one of the big WWF PPVs, then them mostly not doing anything with that. She really could have been a major star a few years ago and they just repeatedly stall out on her. This is the first time she's been in any kind of match for 5 months, but I'm not sure if there were injuries or just a lack of interest. This really should be Bianca Belair's match. It has to be. If they just pull the trigger on her, come on baby! How awesome is Belair, skipping to the ring and removing her earrings for a fight? I've really been enjoying Billie Kay's solo run. I thought she was sunk for sure, but she's done far more interesting things than Royce since the split. Still would like it more with them together again, but oh well. I don't love Shotzi coming in and just doing all of her offense, the way she would entering a tag match. Everyone running at her, one at a time, the way you would in a hot tag or in a ninja movie is just dumb. It's one of the main reasons there aren't many good battle royals anymore, because "working a battle royal" is not the way most wrestlers work battle royals now. I don't like regular match in my battle royal, I get that in regular matches, which are plentiful. Watch a Rumble match like '89 or '90, and it's all those guys just filling the time with fighting. It's all punches and clotheslines and choking with boots. Now it's offense and I don't think it's better. 

Jillian Hall seems to be doing a Judy Tenuta thing now, and I think it works? Maybe it's an indication how well Peyton Royce is doing post Iiconics that I had no idea who her entrance music was for, and the Titan Tron video took forever to say it was Royce. Ohhhhhhhh shit I've been typing about it this entire time and I just realized they might get the Iiconics back together for this and I fucking want that so bad. It's a good way for them to get back together. Let them eliminate a couple people together and it's a great way to organically show that they're better when they're together! It would actually be a smart way to freshen up the roster, get an interesting team into the lifeless Asuka/Charlotte and Jax/Baszler stuff. But, of course, they don't do any of that. Royce almost immediately blends into the background of the match, and Kay is eliminated a few minutes later. A fruitful storyline abandoned without mention. 

Not a fan of the early and tossed off Toni Storm elimination. I've kind of unexpectedly become a big Toni fan over the past year. I am not interested in this becoming The Charlotte Match. But it really feels like a dumb thing WWF would do. "Ric had what we've defined as the Greatest Rumble Performance so now we need to give Charlotte her Greatest Rumble Performance." Please don't give us that. Too many people have been entering with missile dropkicks. It is stupid that so many have entered the match by immediately climbing to the top rope, and nobody has been punished for climbing to the top rope in the Royal Rumble. The ring is FILLED with people, someone should knock this person off the top rope while they are voluntarily standing there! This is another reason why people cannot work battle royals. The handstand set up for it was dumb, but I did like Dana Brooke hanging off Ripley's neck in a headscissors while Ripley tried to shake her off from the apron. Brooke was memorable in elimination. The layout of this has been weak for long stretches, like a couple instances of someone getting eliminated right before a new entrant, losing any impact of the elimination. BAYLEY'S elimination happened DURING Mickie James's entrance!! Who fucked that up!! Bayley was clearly one of the favorites to win this match, and they moved on within three seconds!! They showed her elimination as a replay, because the cameras were on James and not the arguable biggest name in the match being eliminated. That's really really bad layout for a Rumble. 

WWF could use Alicia Fox back. She would be a fun NXT act at minimum. Give me a Foxy/Aliyah pairing, that would be great. Strong inside cradle on R-Truth to get the 24/7 title back from Fox, good weight on the back of the thighs. I love Dakota Kai, and goddamn did she get eliminated. Ripley just dumped her face first on the apron. Not happy seeing Mandy and Kai eliminated back to back. I'm jinxing the hell out of my personal favorites. They do ANOTHER elimination RIGHT BEFORE a new entrance!! It has to be intentional at this point, and that is so stupid! Nikki Cross gets eliminated one second before TAMINA comes out. Eliminations with zero fanfare are a battle royal curse. There is a way to make eliminations sink in and at least let the announcers talk about the implications a bit, no need to be doing all of these at the exact same time as a thing that everyone is more interested in. The Naomi/Bianca stuff was good, they need to focus more on how long both have been in and they've been a little background, but I like how they're getting more screen time the longer they're in. 

They're going to do dumb Alexa Bliss stuff, aren't they. Yep. But THAT is a good elimination by Ripley! Thank god they had at least some Rumble decency, to have a dozen people in the ring just watching someone go through a long "transformation" without doing anything about it. I am so happy we didn't have to spend more than a minute on that. Ember Moon is yet another person coming in and doing all of their offense like a a normal match, but she dropkicks Naomi right in the face in a way that didn't seem intentional. Ember Moon looked really bad on her elimination, with that slow motion "setting up a spot" run she did to get backdropped by Shayna. Loved Nia's "I can't, she's family" excuse to not go after Tamina, but her hockey fighting with Shayna after Tamina's elimination looked bad. I'm not into the Nia/Shayna thing, just doesn't feel like it's going anywhere and the journey to get there isn't interesting. Do I hate Natalya's new gear? My instinct says yes, but is there an element of it I'm underappreciating? Perhaps. I'll level with you, I did not know there was important emotional history with Natalya and Lana. Was that elimination effective? I could not tell you. I have not been closely following the Natalya/Lana relationship. Charlotte has felt like a complete non-factor the entire time she's been in the Rumble. She was not working to stand out at all, so I am fully not interested in her valiantly battling against two foes, and I also don't understand her treating her elimination like a drunk sorority girl getting thrown out of a bar that overserved. 

I'm a big fan of Bianca going to WrestleMania, it's a great choice and the most interesting direction to go. But I wished I enjoyed her and Ripley's final two. I thought a lot of it looked real bad, like them doing really slow reversal sequences and slow thrown missed strikes. Ripley was hanging on the ropes dangling, and Belair just stood there waiting instead of kicking at her hands, literally standing there waiting to do the spot that came next. Working battle royals as a normal match suuuuucks. So I thought their final two stretch was not good, but the end result was great, and they did a genuinely great job of making it look like either Belair OR Ripley had a chance. That's important. Bianca's winner's speech was the kind of thing that would have been nice to see in front of a live crowd. 

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

ER: This didn't hook me until they started fighting up into the "crowd", and I liked some of the stuff up there. Owens had all these nasty chairshots to Roman's knees. He was jabbing the edge of a chair into Roman's patella, then just bashing them from the side, all really nasty stuff that should be sold throughout a match. They looked really hobbling but Reigns didn't treat them as such a moment later, which is disappointing. Owens had a nice bump off the riser and a good moment of him beating the 10 count. But once they went backstage it just felt like the same kind of slow Shane McMahon prop show that they've been doing into the ground. This whole thing is going too long, and I am so tired of these slow epic brawls that always make 20 minutes feel like 30 and 30 minutes feel like 45. These matches are more "ideas" matches than interesting fights, but none of the ideas are as good as any of the homebrew shit cooked up in the Last Battle of Burke. Sitting through an endless 25 minutes with a handcuff spot at the end taking up over 10% of the match is such a punishing waste of time. Michael Cole was right when he described this thing as brutal. I thought it would never stop. 

 

Men's Rumble Match

ER: I have not been following the storyline here, and that is just cruel to start this thing with Edge/Orton. This feels like they're fucking with me. Edge is at least a more compelling character now that his gimmick is that his body could break at any minute. Sami Zayn is looking, dressing, and wrestling more and more like Buck Robley, and I think it could make him one of my favorites. Has Mustafa Ali had his first name back since joining Retribution? Is Retribution a stable where getting back your own name is important, and that's why most of them have names like their parents were "child can choose their own name" parents? Edge has a better spear now than he did 10 years ago. When I'm not too into a match, I usually don't find myself saying "You know I bet this thing could get better if Dolph Ziggler got involved." I want to see a run from super gassed Carlito!! He looked like peak 80s gas Jimmy Snuka with cool Dick Anthony Williams facial hair. 

These things kind of stink now that the moments are all planned in the exact same way. Guy comes in, does his signature offense while people run at him one by one, do pose to hard cam, storyline for next elimination starts once new entrant is done with his offense, elimination culminates with 10 seconds until next entrant. They have gone to that exact same pattern in this and the women's rumble, and it sucks. 

Kane comes out looking more like the local guy playing Kane on an Australian knock off indy. That other guy might look better in ring at this point though. I wish Otis would have been in the match longer, thought his discus clothesline and capture suplex looked really great, but at least his elimination bump was the nastiest of the men's rumble so far. Dominik got big height, and Hurricane would be a nice guy to have back somewhere, but this rumble is not great. There are no compelling stories here, and it's felt like it's been full of restarts. Christian return is cool, and here's a thing I cannot believe: When Christian, Riddle, Big E, and Bryan all teamed up to force Lashley over, that was literally the first time in EITHER rumble that a group decided to go after one person. It's been all these stupid paired of "stories" that aren't really interesting, instead of people actually thinking like someone IN a rumble. That moment actually felt like a rumble, like a few people suddenly remembered a rumble strategy. What I said earlier about Edge having a way better spear in 2021 than he did in 2010? Still holds, as his spear on Styles looked great. Victoria Beer, seen in the background of every lucha match I've been watching lately, is now sponsoring Royal Rumble entrants? Nobody else got sponsored? Kane and AJ Styles were in there, StopTheSteal didn't want to sponsor them? Christian and Sheamus always had great chemistry. I'd love to see a 2021 Christian/Sheamus match. 

Cesaro lifting and throwing Strowman over the top would have been far more interesting than Strowman eliminating Cesaro, and Sheamus deserved better. Bryan and Riddle really laced into each other during their portion, and Bryan would be my easy pick if asked "Who would you like to win this rumble?" This is the first time these two have had an exchange of any kind, and it all looked really great. What looks riduculous is every person still left in the match lying around the ring while Bryan and Riddle can just have a 4 minute match. Nobody should be lying on the mat for that long, let alone four people at the same time. I thought the finishing run was pretty bad, thought the Bryan elimination was a pretty big nail in the coffin. The Edge story is not something I can get too interested in, but all of his spears looked great in this match, and I could actually see him being a part of a good match now. I'm not expecting it, but he is slightly more interesting now than a decade ago. 

ER: Disappointing show top to bottom. Both Rumbles were really uninspired and badly laid out, the Last Man Standing match felt endless, the tag title match was bad, and the Sasha match was below her level. That's a bummer of a show right there. 

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2020 Ongoing MOTY List: Big E vs. Sheamus Falls Count Anywhere

25. Big E vs. Sheamus WWE Smackdown 10/9

ER: What a couple of psychos. This was a falls count anywhere match that played like Big E and Sheamus somehow saw Yard Call and wanted to do their own version of it. Except do it in the middle of a pandemic, without a crowd surrounding them and urging them on. No, this was just two guys hitting each other as hard as they could with weapons for 10 minutes, like neither had heard of the concept of pulling your shots. This lost any pretense of "wrestling match" within the first minute, and once Big E crashes Sheamus to the floor with the out of ring spear (how crazy do you have to be to not only still be regularly using that move, but using it with no live crowd?!?), this was two guys hitting each other with disgusting weapon shots. Sheamus and Big E were beating each other up so bad that you'd think Big E was refusing to wear the special glasses Sheamus wanted him to put on. 

These might have been the sickest Singapore cane shots I've seen, with Sheamus tying Big E's arms in the ropes before hitting him in the ribs as hard as he could, and Big E paying him back by welting most Sheamus's back. Sheamus had a wide bruise going from the back of one arm, across the broadest part of his back, and off the other arm. They break brooms over each other's heads, Big E beats Sheamus with a trashcan that doesn't really give, then runs him hard into a concrete wall before scraping him out a door. These hits looked nastier the more they did them, as every fall looked painful, every hit looked as hard as the first, and they were doing this with only a ref and cameraman around! This is among the sickest most inspired teenage backyard matches in their willingness to kill each other for no live crowd gratification. They do a lot of great things in and out and off of cars, including some sicko car bumps. Big E takes a White Noise on the windshield of a car, and Sheamus takes a powerbomb on a car windshield and slides off to the concrete; Big E gets his hip and legs slammed in the car door, and I loved the spot where he got his leg up to keep Sheamus from slamming his arm in the trunk. By the end Big E has cuts on his legs, Sheamus has cut up elbows and dark welts, and you know this whole thing would have played great at the Zone 23 junkyard. 

PAS: It is pretty crazy the amount of punishment wrestlers are willing to take in these sterile audienceless gimmick matches. I wasn't going to watch War Games but the clips I saw looked nuts, and I wasn't going to watch TLC but I can imagine the dumb shit they did there. This had a bit of random WWE weapon brawling in it, but it got pretty nasty pretty quick with the Kendo stick shots. They were really on the "Sandman canes Mikey to make Woman cum" level of violence (Rest in Power Nancy) and Sheamus's seal white body is a great wrestling special effect, it really accentuates every welt and cut. They really shouldn't have done the white noise on the windshield to set the match up, as it took a little of the steam off seeing it a second time, still totally nasty stuff, and both guys were smearing blood all over the hoods of the cars after the match. Uncalled for stuff, for something which was basically forgotten the next day, but we didn't forget it. 

2020 MOTY MASTER LIST

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2020 Ongoing MOTY List: Bryan vs. Sheamus

17. Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus WWE Smackdown 5/29

ER: Bryan shows up on TV, Bryan has an awesome match. He's the all star of the silent era, lifting up everyone he comes in contact with. I love how Bryan has taken advantage of the quieter arena (although at least WWE has finally picked up on the fact that 30 people of crowd is much better than 0 people), and his uppercuts, body kicks, and leg kicks have never sounded or looked better. And the coolest thing about Bryan is the stiffer he works the more he encourages the same from his opponent, and Sheamus is a guy who is going to be cool with that arrangement. I can get into a contest where two guys try to figure out who has the harder European uppercut (I give it to Bryan), but every piece of contact worked for me. Maybe the nastiest shots of the match were Sheamus rocking Bryan in the corner with a dozen or so back elbows, just dropping him to the mat one inch at a time, then starts dropping knees on Bryan's face. Hell yes. Was that my favorite part of the match? Maybe it was Bryan hitting a great tope and seeing nutbar Sheamus clearly whip the right side of his head into the barricade to ring his own bell going into the break. Sheamus yanks on Bryan's nose and upends him with a lariat (love how Bryan gets dumped by lariats), and we got a couple of solid nearfalls down the stretch. Bryan rolling through a crucifix for a pin looked like it could finish, and Bryan kicking out of White Noise felt like a big moment. I cannot understate how much having enthusiastic noise out there while these two are killing each other was an absolute boon to the match, making this thing work even with the lame "man distracted by another man" finish. These two always match up great, and this is their first singles match in over 5 years. No surprise, that match wound up on our 2015 Ongoing MOTY List.

PAS: I do love how Bryan has just embraced "silent crowd violent wrestling" and Sheamus is the perfect dance partner for a stiff fest. Sheamus has been gone so long, I kind of forgot about him, but he is still pretty great. The ghost white skin shows up every bruise and Bryan shoots to break blood vessels with every shot. I want to second the greatness of Sheamus's back elbows and knees, in a match built around stiff shots, those were on another level. I really hope Bryan's neurologist is top level. I could have used a more dynamic finish, but I will never tire of two guys trying to wallop the crap out of each other.


2020 MOTY MASTER LIST

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WWE Backlash Blog 6/14/20

ER: Getting a late start on this show because I visited my sister this weekend, the first time I have driven more than 5 miles in the last 3 months. When I returned I had a cat who had missed me terribly and dishes that hadn't washed themselves since I saw them on Friday. Asuka/Nia is probably the only match I'm really interested in, but there are several matches that could be good.


Andrade vs. Apollo Crews

ER: Fine pre-show opener, though it felt a little more hollow than I was hoping. Both of these guys do cool moves, and both hit those cool moves here, but it never felt like anything bigger than that. But seeing cool guys hit nice exchanges for 7 minutes is nice on the lead in show, and I liked how they jumped things up with Andrade taking a big backdrop bump on the entrance ramp. Crews and Andrade are both good at quick rope running sequences, and I dug how the ran through those at the same fast pace as Andrade slamming his knees into Crews in the corner. Crews' standing flying offense looked really good, landing flush on Andrade, and the finish was a slick sitout powerbomb reversal of Andrade's trap arm DDT. I know these two have a better match in them, but this was good eye candy to start a show.


Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross vs. The Iiconics vs. Sasha Banks/Bayley

ER: This was kind of a mess, and these 3 way tag matches just seem too tough to work without some hitches or weird bits of laying about. I think Sasha was the big standout, with everyone else blending in a bit too much. Sasha was the one making all of her individual spots look good, like flying into the corner hard or throwing a knee into the side of Kay's head (while Bayley held her), or how perfectly Sasha handled the finish and how awesome her winning pin on Bliss looked. The match structure made everyone else feel pretty faceless, with the Iiconics far more muted than normal, while Bliss and Cross showed good enthusiasm throughout but felt out of the gate that they were losing. I don't think this was bad, but having three people in the ring at all times just leads to awkwardness.


Jeff Hardy vs. Sheamus

ER: I thought this was really good, a match worked straight with some nasty spills and great collisions, no shenanigans, no stupid finish. Sheamus is in the discussion of best 10 minute TV match worker of the decade, and he brings that to a nice clean PPV match like this one. He provides a big solid base for Hardy to slam into, he's never gonna be the guy who bails early on a rough collision, and I dig Hardy vaulting off stairs into him, flying into him in the corner, using his body as a projectile no matter how Sheamus was positioned, and then flying even harder into awful landings. Sheamus has real brick wall offense, the kind that makes the stuff of Sheamus vs. Scott Norton the stuff dreams are made from. He kept finding cruel ways to cut Hardy off, with the worst being him hitting a front suplex and catching a knee on the ringpost, or Sheamus reaching up to knock Hardy off the turnbuckles and Hardy just pitching forward into the ropes. I love seeing Hardy fold on Sheamus clotheslines, or the way his body crumples when he flies to the floor directly into a Brogue kick. This hit hard, landed hard, built nicely, a super professional match that still felt like it was worked aggressively. I never get excited for Hardy matches anymore, but he has seemed really focused since coming back, and Sheamus looks a good as ever. Strong match.


Nia Jax vs. Asuka

ER: Outside of the unnecessary 80s TV match non-finish, this was really good. I've always liked how these two match up, how Asuka knows how to ramp up the stiffness to counter some of Nia's bull in a China shop movement. Nia always looks really strong against Asuka, so I love moments like Nia simply shoving Asuka off into the ropes, because it looks like Asuka is really being flung whether she wants to or not. Nia really crushed Asuka with lariats and avalanches, and I love the way Nia tumbles when Asuka is able to side step and throw in strikes. Asuka swinging into a crucifix, leaping around Nia's body to get a great octopus, or flinging herself at Nia for a guillotine attempt all look really great, because they always look like Nia is actively struggling to prevent them from happening. Jax is really great at being broken down by submissions, really plays a great giant being brought to their knees. She shows off these cool moments every time Asuka snares her with something, and I think it's the perfect kind of spot to show of the dynamics of both. Asuka really hurls herself hips and butt first into Nia, kicks away at her legs, and Nia pays her back whenever she catches her in a big slam, reverses a sub attempt with a Boss Man slam or slapping her into the mat with a sitout powerbomb. Really, I loved all of this outside of the double count out finish. Even the post match hip attack off the apron looked great, and the facials from both ruled. There was no reason to do a double count out finish. Nia wouldn't lose any "mystique" from winning to Asuka, because Asuka rules. They give Asuka the belt without her beating the champ, then you have Charlotte beat her the night after Charlotte lost her belt, then you can't let Asuka win her first PPV title defense. She has done nothing but lose or not win ever since getting the belt, and it's totally unnecessary. As a match, though, this was really good.


Miz/John Morrison vs. Braun Strowman

ER: Modern WWE handicap matches just aren't good, because WWE doesn't want them to be good. The best handicap matches are deeply imbued with southern wrestling. WWF used to run handicap matches like this, understood that you need an element of stooging and the rhythm needed to be different than typical singles matches. Modern WWE handicap matches are worked like a singles match, only the two guys just may as well be masked twins. Something like Razor Ramon vs. Jeff Jarrett/Roadie works great, because Jarrett and Roadie know exactly how to fill time in between taking beatings and know how to gloat when they get an advantage, knowing how to perfectly act like the guys celebrating their advantage as if they don't already have the built in advantage. Braun makes for some good moments, as his misses can still miss dangerously, and I'm not sure there are many big guys who do a ringpost bump as nicely as he does. Morrison's knee strikes looked real junky here, and I couldn't get into a lot of this. Handicap matches can be more interesting than this. Modern WWE handicap layout does nothing for me.


Bobby Lashley vs. Drew McIntyre

ER: This had the feeling of two semi-trained Power Plant guys doing all of the big slams they learned and watched others do, and that is a much better vibe for this match than Main Event Heavyweight WWE Match. McIntyre tosses Lashley into the barricade with a belly to belly, Lashley runs McIntyre horizontally into the ringpost and nearly murders him with a crazy death valley bomb on the floor, the whole thing is just a big Power Plant power move spotfest and that kicks ass. This really felt like the best possible Sean O'Haire vs. Chase Tatum match, with McIntyre going on to hit a wild superplex, plus awesome stuff like grabbing a kimura off a Lashley spear. I like that we didn't get prolonged strike exchanges or tons of dramatic kickouts, but instead the focus was on two big guys slamming each other in cool big guy ways. WWE needs more Power Plant influence, as that sense of danger due to guys not knowing their limits was important.


Viking Raiders vs. Street Profits

ER: I hope that this satisfied the fans who were exited to see it, and the women who find Ivar cute.


THE GREATEST MATCH EVER

ER: The crowd was electric for this. There was this great sense that - even though I had no history with these two - that they had a great history with each other, and knew what to expect from the other. There were no cutesy I reverse U spots, more like physical chess with both of them knowing what to expect two moves ahead. There were elements to the work that I had never really seen before, simple things that I loved, like putting your forearms up to block an elbow strike, or dropping down to a knee to sandbag a powerbomb. Every guy I saw attempt a powerbomb before this had either hit that powerbomb right away, or got backdropped over. An actual struggle over a big move was a bit of a revelation to me. Seeing Orton drop to a knee, widen his base, grab onto Edge's leg - anything to keep himself from being powerbombed - and that was eye opening. The strikes landed harder than anything else I had seen, and well, I had never seen a man bleed from his ear before. I don't think anything good ever came to anyone after bleeding out of their ear.

And all of that stuff still holds up as special. It's a great match. The level of improv based around things you can't plan (where a guy falls after taking a move, the position he winds up in), all of the ring positioning, it's all impressive stuff. You can see gears working when a strike was supposed to land harder and it didn't, and you can watch some sequences get kind of reworked and changed and added to without ever altering the course of the match. Edge's kicks all land sharp, with that early thrust spin kick especially looking like it decapitated Orton. I actually remember seeing people use "restholds" as a complaint about this match, but I'm sorry, to watch each man's respective hold and to be so disbelieving seems a bit cynical to me. Orton's face lock looked like he was clearly trying to block Edge's breathing with his arm, and Edge's stretch plum looked as if he was trying to separate Orton's neck from his shoulders. There was nothing restful about either of those holds. We get some crazy moments like Edge punching Orton out of the air off an apron drive. Orton actually changes trajectory in mid air from being punched! Edge finally hitting that folding powerbomb was a huge moment and a great nearfall (of several), and while I didn't find the head drops excessive, that Tiger Driver 91 is still shocking. It really is quite the door slam to the match. I hadn't watched this match in probably 8+ years, and at this point I'm not seeing a reason it won't keep holding up.


ER: Strong deliveries from Nia/Asuka, Sheamus/Hardy, and McIntyre/Lashley, plus an arguably perfect main event that will henceforth be known as "6/7/20-6/14/20", means this was perfectly fine show to poke around on a Sunday evening.

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WWE Royal Rumble 2020 Actually Kind of Live Blog

ER: These PPVs start HOW early and go HOW long!? This thing had already started by the time I got back from freaking brunch and will end hours into darkness. But I think the card looks good on paper, and the Rumble has traditionally been a favorite gimmick of mine. Admittedly, I do not get as excited for the Rumbles as I used to. Even when I end up liking them (I remember really liking the 2018 Men's Rumble, for example), they have still felt very same-y the past decade. I'm not sure what it will take to freshen it up a bit, whether the answer is to move the concept forward or backward, but I'm here for it.


Sheamus vs. Chad Gable

ER: Damn this feels like a pretty big match for the pre-show. Maybe it's just because I'm very excited for the on-paper potential of this match. I've been a high voter on Sheamus and I think higher than average on Gable, and the pairing seems natural. This is Sheamus' first TV match in over 9 months, and it's a tough spot to be in for your comeback match: 75 minutes before the actual PPV starts, while people are filing into a large baseball stadium. And Sheamus *does* look rusty for the first couple minutes of this, mainly in the way he perfunctorily went through standing exchanges; Sheamus is a good wrestler, he's not someone who sleepwalks through missed clotheslines and rope running, but he was clearly a guy finding his steps, looking a little careful. They even start talking about ring rust on commentary (and after the match) which sounded like they were smartly covering by just admitting. But Sheamus knocks Gable hard to the floor in a fun violent way and the tone shifted to more stiff and confident from there. Sheamus worked like a more WWE-style Timothy Thatcher, bending Gable by the hand and wrist, kneeling on his head, pushing on his face while stretching a limb, even busting open one of Gable's ears. He also aims to cave in Gable's chest with 20 or so clubbing forearms, really getting that filing in crowd going the more the match went on. Gable fought back in cool ways, tons of foot stomps and hard elbows, and ever harder overhand chops. He threw a couple different overhand chops that landed loud and left Sheamus in an almost stunned laughter, and then he would go right back to nasty stomps to the feet. Gable hit a nice dropkick to take out Sheamus' knee, and Sheamus is a compelling limb seller who works in some nice knee moments. I really liked him catching Gable off the top rope and buckling his knee, leading to Gable spiking him with a nice DDT. The nearfalls were exciting, Gable broke out a cool Chaos Theory and it looked plausible that Gable could actually beat Sheamus in the latter's big return match. I thought this played honestly and was a real nice return match delivery. This was a real good "first match" from these two, plenty of cool ideas I wasn't expecting, and a nice reminder of what Sheamus can bring.


Humberto Carrillo vs. Andrade

ER: This had a lot of ideas I liked and what I thought was a great Andrade performance, but also thought it was one of those matches where Carrillo oversteps. Carrillo has a lot of fun ideas with sometimes iffy execution, and his best matches tend to be when his dance flourishes get reigned in. He was pretty free to try things here and Andrade is a generous base, and I do think we got a few too many dance sequences muddying up things (for a guy who likes dance-y missed kick reversal sequences, Carrillo isn't always great at them). But there was a ton of match that wasn't those kind of things, and Andrade put fun twists on a couple familiar Carrillo spots. I liked the fight over a crucifix pin, like the way Andrade can insert some struggle into moves that could come off too smooth. Andrade has great small stuff, which adds to matches like these: hard stiff leg kick to the stomach, heavy back elbows, sharp forearms to the jaw (he had one early that really snapped Carrillo's head back). There were also good believable nearfalls in this one (a nice theme for the show) and the pairing is really good when Andrade is running the show. The match ending springboard rana reversal was cool and there probably aren't many guys in the fed (maybe Cesaro?) who could have taken it better. This match also benefitted from Zelina Vega's fun ringside presence, a loud, active manager with always amusing reaction shots.


Falls Count Anywhere: Roman Reigns vs. Baron Corbin

ER: This was one of those matches where I started the match into it all, and got less interested every passing minute. Before the match, Corbin was carried out to the ring in his meh throne, and Roman jumped him during the entrance and threw around the guys carrying him. I was into it. Turns out, that would be my peak moment of interest. The match didn't really land for me. Sometimes it literally didn't land, as early on Corbin seemed to be leaning way out of strikes. The brawling through the crowd felt sluggish, the concept of brawling around an entire baseball stadium was hurt by keeping most of the camera shots too close. They may as well have been brawling around a civic auditorium for over half of the brawl. By the time we got to the interference from Ziggler, Roode, and The Usos, my interest was waning. By the time we get a porta potty spot I was more than ready to get to the next match. You go to the extremely stupid lengths to set up a fake row of porta pottys, you need to go the lengths of making the spot as stupid or as dangerous as possible. Either Corbin comes out of that thing covered head to toe in fake shit, or he needs to take a stupid bump through a row of toilets. They did neither. The match goes 22 minutes which was so much more time than it needed, and the few big moments (and Uso dive off a high stack of equipment, some impressive bumps through tables) didn't sustain the match. "These two have been through hell and back," Michael Cole says unconvincingly. Nope.


Women's Rumble Match

ER: Alexa and Bianca is an opening combo I can get behind. Stadium entrances make Rumbles infinitely cool, and when Bianca's music hit I said "Man I hope Bianca skips all the way down the long damn entrance," and she did, and it was great. Great Big PPV Gear from Bianca, killer black/gold combo with 10/10 gold glitter boots. Alexa's faces as Bianca danced were also great, so I am firmly on the side of this match. And a Molly Holly appearance is clearly only ever going to be a plus. Let's do a Backlund moment and keep Molly in there for the match. Lana is genuinely terrible on the mic, has no originality, stumbles over words, and isn't quick on her toes...but she clearly puts energy into it and seems to enjoy the role, and she plays a good dummy who isn't as smart as she thinks. And that kind of saves the act. Mercedes Martinez is a nice surprise. The Lana/Liv pull apart brawl felt better than it should have been. Mandy looked good in her first two minutes, getting into it with Nikki Cross and stopping her with a shoulderblock, nice running knee, and a slap that echoed hard in the stadium.

And goddamn I am into the comical Mandy fake elimination. She gets casually tossed by Alexa in what seemed like an incredibly underwhelming elimination, almost a punishment to Rose. She was thrown to the far side of ring from camera, meaning we didn't see her hit the floor. And when when the camera shifts to her side we see she landed perfectly onto Otis, who was weirdly laying flat on the floor for some reason. Otis plays it like a fetish, coming off like the world's largest Jimmy Valiant under a glass table. The fans reacted bigger than I expected to it, made a really odd spot come off great. The involvement of Otis on both Mandy and Sonya's elimination was amusing, but Otis had just started being fun yelling ringside encouragement to Mandy, and I wanted the bit to continue longer.

We hit a boring little stretch where Dana Brooke and Mia Yim and Tamina do that annoying modern Rumble trend of coming in and just running through your offense on several people, just a stupid string of ninjas attacking once at a time for trademark spots. Older Rumbles felt like they had more small moments where a guy enters and quietly finds a the most advantageous dude to go after. Tamina has the worst ring gear in WWE women's history, a terrible look, a terrible run of offense, just a clumsy bull in a Houston china shop. Her elimination is thankfully quick, with her taking a stumbling bump to the floor like someone falling for the first time. Once Tamina was gone, things picked up. I liked the Bianca/Alexa hair tug of war on the apron, and Naomi came back after 6 months away and had her greatest look ever, an immediate contender for greatest wrestling hair of the decade, obviously Naomi paying respects to Mr. Niebla in a totally iconic look. And she gets a gimmick moment we've seen before, getting knocked from the apron but leaping to the side of the barricade like spider-man. But whether Intentionally or not, she lands VERY low on the wall. Her feet were just a few inches off the floor, giving her almost no wiggle room. It looked several times like she might just give up and let them hit the floor. Her crawling up to the top felt like a genuine dramatic moment, and I don't care how stupid that sounds. Beth Phoenix apparently suffers a massive head wound at some point, as suddenly there is a huge spreading dark red spot on the back of her head, and it somehow isn't getting nearly the attention it deserves from commentary. Super excited to see Shotzi in the Rumble. We were wondering if it would happen as I know they like to debut fairly new workers like that, and when her name came up I popped. Santina stuff felt dumb and more than a little out of place but they didn't linger on it, which has been a strength of the match. Shayna's entrance run is great, but let me tell you: Not interested in how easily Charlotte dispatched Shayna. That's just dumb. Charlotte was in this match as long as anyone, and made absolutely no impression. Overall I thought this was a good Rumble match, veering into great at times. Finish disappointed me though, and I'm bored watching Charlotte point at the Mania sign. Belair's elimination was disappointing and didn't come off like a big enough deal, and Naomi's long journey back to the ring felt was undercut by her getting eliminated immediately once back. A Naomi Rumble return leading to a big Mania match would work, disappointing they went with such a bland choice.


Bayley vs. Lacey Evans

ER: Not a match-up that's super intriguing to me, and I think most of that is I have not been into heel Bayley one bit. And I don't think I'm alone, as the match played real cold to the crowd. The crowd still seemed to like the Roman match that I didn't, but this match was quiet. This was a better match than Reigns/Corbin, but it did not connect. Stuff looked good, but it needed Sasha making noise at ringside or some other element than them just going out and having a match. This was worked without history and wouldn't feel out of place on an episode of Main Event, and played like a match that would be considered a good match for Main Event. But it felt light and unimportant here.


Strap Match: Daniel Bryan vs. The Fiend

ER: This was slow paced, and the crowd was quiet, and I have very very little interest in the Fiend gimmick or the Funhouse stuff, and there are dozens of guys on the roster that I would so much rather see Bryan face on a big PPV. But I was into this. Bryan comes hard with punches to the head, but before long we get long sets of Fiend slowly whipping Bryan over the back and chest, and Bryan getting a bunch of ugly welts. I thought they made a very compelling match based almost entirely around whipping each other. Both guys knew how to throw nice strap shots, and Bryan added big bumps at key moments. Getting eaten alive by a lariat on the floor and running into the Sister Abigail nearfall are things Bryan does better than most. But they lost me maybe 3/4 of the way through, started overstaying its welcome, and then hit us with some lame character aspects of the Fiend. Bryan really got made to look like a chump, and the Fiend's revolutionary gimmick of just walking through shots and clowning people, has absolutely zero legs. Bryan tried to get people into it postmatch, tried to pull those strings, clearly doing as much as possible to put some sort of dignity to this ending. But man I'm pretty positive the Fiend sucks.


Asuka vs. Becky Lynch

ER: This one felt like a big deal going into the match, but Lynch has a way of turning feuds with potential into kind of boring matches. I don't know why she doesn't seem to connect, but her run of matches during her long feeling title reign have consistently underwhelmed. This didn't get the crowd response it could have and should have been better. But it was not bad, and I thought Asuka brought a lot of color to it. She had my favorite moment of the match, when she splatted with a nasty belly flop bump to the floor off a front suplex from the apron. She threw nice thrust kicks into Becky's face and threw herself enthusiastically into her offense. It had a good finish too, with Becky landing a kick to Asuka's stomach right as Asuka was going to mist her, making cartoonishly mist herself. It's a spot I can see working all through the territories and I liked it here.


Men's Rumble Match

ER: I'm into the idea of a full match Brock run. I don't care. People are tired of Brock, but he's a total freak and I'd love to see him wreck dudes for 45 minutes. And I think he has the selling ability to actually provide some dramatic openings along the run. Right out of the gate, doesn't feel like a necessary move to throw Rowan to the wolves so quickly. At least give his comeback some kind of chance of success, this felt undercutting. But it also kind of makes sense, because Brock *should* run through these dudes. Elias, Roode, yeah, Brock should crush them. Roode shouldn't be hitting a spinebuster on Brock, so hell yeah, toss these men! I am into this idea and into the execution so for. I'm already excited for who will be the first entrant to last until the next entrant, who will finally last long enough to have someone else distract Brock for a bit, and who might be the first guy who Brock actually *isn't* excited to see? This is a different way to book the Rumble, and I am into it. The answer comes quick, as Rey enters while Kofi is still in the ring, and the star power feels bigger and it feels like a bigger moment to see Brock manhandling these two. And when we build to Big E, Kofi, and Rey all swarming Brock, it's a full great sequence of early Brock vulnerability. Trouble in Paradise, Big Ending, 619, Spear, and Brock is just so great at taking finishers. And with a finger snap he tosses Rey, jumps off Big E to hit a superman lariat through Kofi, lariats E to the floor, and disposes of Kofi. Brock as the Royal Rumble Ken Jennings is great pro wrestling for me. The pairings are well thought out: The Shelton Benjamin stuff was amusing, Nakamura hit a cool sneaky spin kick before getting tossed (would have liked a longer pairing here, as that's a 15 year old match I'd actually love to see re-run), MVP is a decent enough nostalgia return and takes super huge bump off the F5 for a guy pushing 50, and Brock keeps making things better with his reactions to Keith Lee at 13.

Keith Lee vs. Brock is a great dream match, and Brock is so good at getting run over by Lee. Lee doesn't hold back, both guys crash into each other like an airshow disaster, and I lost it when Braun was 14. Those 3 are a 305 Live dream, and all the interactions came off like a sequel to Rampage. The only problem is I wish we got way more. Let the three of them throw out the next 6 guys and have them absolutely ruin a city's infrastructure in between. And I was really into the idea of Brock going to the final 4 at least, but how pro was McIntyre's elimination of him? Brock leaned cheek first into that claymore kick, and Brock's big bump to the floor while Heyman flips out was classic. But Drew isn't done many favors as they kind of just have him do exactly what Bock had spent half the match doing. It's a big spot for Drew, but it almost did him no favors to have him be dominant. Plus he gets the bum luck of a few dud entrances, Ziggler and Karl Anderson, people aren't gonna be into that. The Edge return is obviously a gigantic moment for many in the crowd, and while there are few returns that could have been less exciting to me personally, he's a guy the fans filling out a Texas stadium clearly want to see. Edge felt like a major deal, people were flipping out like they were on an Oprah's Favorite Things. But we've fallen into a rut of people I'm not interested in (Gallows, Orton, ugh these are the Raw matches I skim through) and they eliminate Riddle in a minute. That pissed me off. I do NOT have interest in Randy Orton & Edge dancing their age old dance, and this thing is screeching to a halt for me. Is it the show that's too damn long? Or the participants that got less interesting? By the time Seth Rollins hits the ring, the ring is nearly entirely filled with men I do not want to see in a long WrestleMania title match. The final 8 really dragged for me, though it got a little better with the final 4. Edge hitting a spear on Roman came off big, and Drew really killer Roman with the claymore. If this is the big McIntyre push, I'm curious what a Brock match looks like. I could see fans getting into Drew with some momentum behind him, so let's see where this goes.


ER: The show had strengths but a big weakness in just being too long. A lot of the wrestling was good while rarely rising to great. The very first match of the night was my favorite, and that wasn't a match that is going to wind up super high on a MOTY list at the end of 2020. I liked both Rumbles, preferring the women's one overall due to less drag and down moments, but the first half of the men's match showed it could have hit greatness. We had a lot of good individual performances (Bryan, Andrade, Asuka) in so-so matches, which kept the floor of the show high but the ceiling low.

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