Eric's WWE Survivor Series Live Blog 11/21/21

ER: Gotta say, it's pretty difficult to find much interest in WWE's programming these days. These constant roster cuts have turned things into the worst possible Oakland Athletics team, where any single one of my favorite wrestlers to watch could be pushed on one program and then released the next day. WWE hasn't been paying off storylines for a long time, making that aspect of their product completely pointless to follow, but still had a roster with a ton of people capable of great matches on any given night. But no wrestler allowed to get past a certain level of popularity, combined with my favorites to watch being on the chopping block every day, and absolutely terrible direction  - the biggest wrestling promotion in history has been presenting the literal worst visual wrestling presentation for several years now - has made this a nearly impossible promotion to get behind and enjoy. I know next to nothing about this card, but I have a tragically boring Sunday afternoon with a sudden hole in it so let's see if they give us something worth showing interest in. 

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Damian Priest

ER: This was at its best during the first half, before the part of the Damian Priest match where every exchange became a reversal of a sloppily thrown spin kick. I like Damian Priest when he throws strikes intended to land; I hate Damian Priest when he throws a strike intended to set up an opponent's strike, which is then thrown to set up Damian Priest's strike. This match was a 50-50 blend of those two Priests, and it kept things from being as good as they could have been. Nakamura isn't without flaw, but it's tough to not look like you're messing things up when you're forced to wait in place for someone's in-ring springboard axe handle reversal. Long story short: The parts where they hit each other were fun, the parts where they missed each other were dumb. 

I am so sick of seeing The Rock in every piece of media. I have had my official fill of The Rock. You gave us Rampage and we will always have that but I am tired of seeing The Rock be The Rock in things. 

Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

ER: Regardless of how much I don't love this specific kind of match build, where both people just come off like unlikeable smarmy assholes and the heel is the one who I guess is more of an asshole, we can all agree that Becky Lynch's Toxic tribute ring gear is perhaps her greatest all time look. That's a look that feels more important than a match with an uneven worked shoot build. The two people in the ring couldn't back up the build even if the energy felt there at times. Energy can be enough to turn something like this great, but it needed to be done without Charlotte's canned ham. You needed more shit like Becky ripping out a bit of Charlotte's hair to prevent a figure 4 reversal, and less of Charlotte doing Andrade tribute offense that makes her look like George Costanza running through pigeons. Charlotte looks like a total klutz who can't hit the broad side of a barn, and after every Lynch kickout you never know where the Al Pacino overacting dial is going to land. Charlotte has the gift of making it really obvious when she is maneuvering into position for offense, while also being really bad about being in place for offense. The moonsaults looked as bad as ever, and doing a bunch of handspring moonsaults that don't connect in the middle of a worked shoot atmosphere is just the stupidest kind of energy. Bad finish that doesn't resolve anything doesn't do anyone any favors, and surely guarantees more of the exact same build to another similar match. 

Bobby Lashley/Austin Theory/Finn Balor/Kevin Owens/Seth Rollins vs. Xavier Woods/Jeff Hardy/Sheamus/Baron Corbin/Drew McIntyre

ER: When the rosters of two different TV shows have been pointlessly churned with seemingly no communication to talent, it's a bit much to sell a 5 on 5 match expressly under the banner of Brand Bragging Rights. I could not imagine caring less about a team from Smackdown beating a team from Raw, and if there are fanbases of people who have allegiances to either Raw or Smackdown but not both, then I cannot imagine that will ever be me. Best to watch a match like this as a match randomly generated by your AKI engine, since WWE's roster at this point has the consistency of me frequently erasing wrestlers and making new CAWs in No Mercy. And as a low stakes 10 man elimination match, it settles into a very fun match very quickly. Corbin was the early standout, loved his big right hands and how good he is at creating openings and setting up spots for Balor. Woods drops a great leaping fistdrop, Sheamus runs in with a leaping knee, Drew runs in with a kick, it's a cool team working in a good rhythm. These matches are about rhythm and if everyone keeps it reasonably well, it is automatically good. You just need them to be as well oiled as any All Japan Senior Circuit trios match. 

Balor sticks Corbin with the double stomp which looked good, but a shame because Corbin was the guy here who best knew how to tie this into an Actual Match. Austin Theory is someone I enjoyed in his NXT role, who feels completely fish out of water in this match. I buy him on NXT. I do not yet buy him moving Sheamus. With Corbin gone, we quickly wind into Drew/Lashley. Now, I think McIntyre and Lashley are two of the better guys in current WWE, but for the past couple years it has felt like EVERY match has come down to Lashley vs. McIntyre. It is a good pairing that also makes me feel like I'm trapped in time. Still, give me all of Bobby Lashley's big ass backdrop bump from the crowd to ringside. I think the steam gets taken out of this way too early and then continues too long after. Once it settled down to a Rollins/Theory vs. Sheamus/Hardy tag if felt like a house show tag between guys who don't know how to work a good house show tag. I will hoover up the slop on any random WWF house show handheld from the early 90s, but is there anyone out there who would get excited to watch a Sheamus/Hardy vs. Rollins/Theory handheld? This went on too long for what it overall accomplished, and I think it was a mistake to make this seem like a long epic instead of a quick paced showcase. Nobody could look at this match and think it makes for a useful Brand Showcase, and if a Brand Supremacy match can't do that then what did it really do? 

Vince needs to do more eccentric unhinged billionaire stuff like silently pantomime with a golden egg, because what the fuck else would we need from him at this point? 

This Brand Battle Royal is not a serious match and doesn't need to be considered as one. This is a Pizza Hut commercial and not a battle royal, and we don't need to act like this matters and that Colored T-Shirt Wrestling isn't one of the stupider features of modern WWE Survivor Series. 

The Usos vs. Randy Orton/Matt Riddle

ER: A not bad tag that relies on the strong timing of Randy Orton and Jey Uso. Riddle has been having a tough to watch year, with some of the worst vignettes and listless in-ring. We all get in ruts and his rut has been difficult to see so frequently this year. But it's fairly effective have him sell, run into nicely timed Jey Uso superkicks, and make dumb faces until making the big hot tag to Orton. Orton has always been a strong apron guy and he's been utilizing his apron work well in this tag team. Apron work is one of those skills that will keep on aging wrestler's floor high with me, and I like how Orton keeps leaning on it as a strength. He's good at tossing Usos around and hitting snap powerslams, and his RKO on the Jey superfly splash looked like a great finish. This match benefitted from its lackluster surroundings, but still earned enough of its status as "the best this show has given us".

Bianca Belair/Carmella/Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley/Zelina Vega vs. Sasha Banks/Shayna Baszler/Toni Storm/Shotzi Blackheart/Natalya 

ER: I like how this looks on paper, this looks like a match I want to see! The women all have blue/red-accented gear is such a better look than the t-shirts. This looks like a real joshi final battle where everyone is taking this seriously. Guys wrestling in red t-shirts look like employees participating in a mandatory 5K.  The pace of this match is much better than the pace of the men's match. It's a shame Carmella went out so early, but Natalya did that weird thing where she memorably shows up in a match with 10 people, and I liked Baszler rolling on the mat with Ripley. The match was already the most fun of the night when we got to the great Sasha/Bianca section. WrestleMania feels like an eternity ago but their match was the best WWE match of this year and their in-ring chemistry still has a lot to offer. When they're in the ring together they really feel like the two biggest stars in the company, the two closest to being chopped down, and there are few people who actually feel like stars when I watch them. Bianca's kip-ups look punched with confidence and Sasha is able to convey the same kind of "can you believe this shit?" attitude Charlotte shouts to the back row but using only her eyes. 

Sadly, we hit a bad patch right after those two megastars made the crowd sit up and pay attention, with some quick eliminations and suddenly several women all lying dead around the ringside area selling mystery injuries. This isn't a ladder match, why are they all suddenly doing ladder match disappearance selling? A few dumb do-si-do moments on the floor lead to a Sasha count out in completely unsatisfying fashion, and the way Bianca goes from being down 4-1 to eliminating Baszler and Shotzi felt forced and cheap. The disappearance selling takes away a lot of the charm of a charismatic Survivor Series match, a series that can benefit from apron work. These women get so out of sight while selling nothing that you forget who is even still in the match! You could have made Belair look really really good while also having her plausibly fight off Shotzi and Baszler, but this felt like suddenly everybody had to be somewhere and it killed the buzz. 

Big E vs. Roman Reigns

ER: I think this was a good match, but these Roman matches have really become the blown out 150 minute MCU epic instead of the tight 90 minute action and stunts movies that he could be having. This was a long show, filled with long matches that mostly didn't deliver, and you need to be better at reading the arena than this main event was. This was a cold, tired crowd and that did not lead to any kind of pace being pushes AT ALL. That said, Roman did his specific thing that - love it or hate it - did turn a dead silent crowd into a slightly more involved crowd the longer he stuck to his routine, and there's some respect there. In its favor, even though the melodrama of them getting to the action was at times too much, when the action was gotten to it looked like a well done Godzilla/Mothra collision. Big E took some hard bumps for Roman's biggest stuff, and that uranage on the shoulders looked deadly. Roman's punches all looked big and the deadlift powerbomb was impressive. I wish we could have made this more of an unpredictable Brock bombfest and gotten out of here quicker, but they made the good stuff look good and that stands out on this show. 

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WWE Extreme Rules 9/26/21 Live Blog

Peacock is concurrently broadcasting the commentary of every single language they have right now, so watching and reviewing this PPV live certainly feels like a dubious way to spend my Sunday evening. 

Liv Morgan vs. Carmella

ER: This was a fun way to open the live show, a spirited match that went for more drama than these openers usually aim for. Carmella is quietly having a really nice year and is operating from a real natural character, leaning into a nicely balanced annoying heel role. Liv has been pretty aimless for a couple years now, and I'm not really in love with her current style. She used to be one of the women (along with Mandy Rose) who I kept seeing in strong house show performances without having any TV matches as good. Morgan doesn't feel anywhere near the person who was gluing together good house show tags, but now someone doing some bad indy offense with off rhythm timing. It's an offense that doesn't work with someone bad at taking offense, but Carmella is good at taking this dumb yet complicated offense. There are some hard strikes and kicks, and Morgan maintains a good enough 2:1 ratio of nice folding bumps to every off-timed flat back bump. The Liv win was a real surprise. Carmella has been the way more interesting TV character, and this feels like the weakest Liv work we've gotten. 

AJ Styles/Bobby Lashley/Omos vs. Big E/Kofi Kingston/Xavier Woods

ER: Quality trios with a big Bobby Lashley threaded throughout, kind of taking away from Big E's recent title win even with Big E getting the win here. Lashley looked like a dynamic traffic director, usually the role Styles inhabits in a match like this. New Day split the ring time well with Kofi playing the most effective babyface. Styles was a cool guy asshole and Lashley had some explosive stuff, hitting big on his spears and shoulder tackles. Omos was integrated well and is still good at playing into his big moments. This felt a bit more like a house show match than a big stops pulled out PPV match, but house show style always gives a high floor to a match like this. Lashley's big spear to Styles looked good, and I liked Big E instantly capitalizing on it. Weird to see the new champ E in this kind of opener though. 

Street Profits vs. The Usos

ER: Very good tag that didn't quite hit the heights it could have, but hit all the notes of the strong match you assumed they would have. I think Jey has had a real breakout year over the past calendar year, while I think Jimmy's return has been welcome I think Jey pulled ahead of him as a worker in the latter's time away. Montez Ford has also been on a tear this year, really standing out as a unique high flying babyface in a promotion with several prominent versions of that. He gets great height on offense and defense, and here he has some real standout moments. Ford hits a huge tope con giro over the ringpost, and eats knees painfully on a sky high frog splash. Dawkins came in hot on his hot tag and both Usos really fell into and threw the ropes for his impact. Crowd got more vocally involved in the match the longer it went, which is a good sign they were doing the right things. The crowd responded big to the extended nearfall home stretch, which is what you'd want in a long title match. I thought the build to the home stretch was a bit more interesting and felt more organic. Still, very good tag match. 

Charlotte vs. Alexa Bliss

ER: This is a real battle of disappointing 2021s. Both could use a strong performance in a big singles match. Bliss has been trapped for too long in a gimmick that is antithetical to good wrestling matches. Charlotte has been working with an attitude that I'm not sure anyone understands. I personally don't understand what the chip on her shoulder is supposed to be, but she comes off like a real asshole because of it. And in a match like this, where her being an asshole is supposed to be the focus, it works best. She does not make any sense to me as a babyface, and this match was a much better use of who she is right now. She still badly apes offense, with her doing fewer bad Flair knife edge chops and more difficult timing Andrade offense. She's at her best when she is taking surprising bumps for Bliss, and I think her cocky heel facials after getting knocked on her ass are one of her best features. Bliss feels a little off timing wise, but it also feels like she has consistently barely seen the inside of a ring for too long. This was the weakest match on the show so far, but it was one of the better Charlotte matches of the year. I have no comment on anything that may have happened to Alexa Bliss after the match, as I turned it to the 49ers game. 

Sheamus vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Damian Priest

ER: This was pretty dull for the most part, but they saved their good fireworks for the final two minutes. Going out on a high note earns a match a lot of forgiveness for what came before earlier. Because again, a lot of this was dull. Hardy figured out early the best way to work this, which was to let Sheamus and Priest work a one on one brawl that he stayed would mostly stay out of, then fly in with a dropkick or plancha when neither was paying attention. It was some of Hardy's best offense in months. But then, once Hardy went on a long run against Sheamus, he looked as lethargic and completely washed as I've ever seen him. He entered in fits and starts, with perhaps the best entrance being his swanton that landed heavy on Priest's back (while he was pinning Sheamus). The move chain finish lifted this out of the realm of total disappointment, but this was a drier match than it should have been. Then again, the build for this match was probably the weakest of any match on the card, so that couldn't have helped. 

Bianca Belair vs. Becky Lynch

ER: I love Becky's striped tube sock hear, but don't love the horse hair. And the match was about on the level of the Carmella match earlier, but went on too long to only to end with Sasha running in and elbowing Lynch. I'm happy to have Sasha back, but I'm not quite feeling the motivations within the Bianca/Sasha/Becky program. This had some cool Bianca strength spots, like a great high arcing fallaway slam, a press slam that Lynch managed to reverse, and a big Backlund spot where she stood to her feet with Lynch sitting on her shoulder. Lynch threw her forearms with her whole body and has some nice looking suplexes. Both have a couple of nice suplexes, actually, with Bianca hitting a nice delayed vertical. Looking back with knowledge this was going to end with a Sasha run-in, I wish they would have worked a more go go pace, and it made some spot placement seem odd. I didn't like when Bianca was raining down on Becky with hard corner elbows, the crowd was counting along with them, and Lynch just escapes out the bottom to yank Belair's braid. I always like Belair's hair getting integrated into things, but hated Lynch shrugging off Belair's best strikes of the match like she hadn't taken eight straight. The eventual triple threat match/es we're going to get won't be as good as any combination of straight singles matches they can run, but I Believe In Sasha. 

Roman Reigns vs. Finn Balor 

ER: We finally get rid of The Fiend and now we just have to deal with the Rasta Demon whose special powers I do not understand. Head of the Table Roman has been my least favorite iteration of Roman Reigns. I do not like the slow paced main event epics, nor do I like the meandering weapon brawls. This was a lot of meandering weapons brawl with some stunt falls peppered in, and it never grabbed me. Luckily for them, it grabbed the crowd and seemed to keep their interest. Roman has been on a hot streak and has worked some tight TV matches, and his biggest hand to hand stuff here looked great. I loved his strikes, and his spear was skeleton damaging. Balor took some big falls through tables and took a big tackle through the ring barricade. It was a lot of damage, but I forgot that the Demon has super powers and is the Undertaker/Fiend. He is able to fully shrug off every bit of pain that Roman put him through...but sadly the Demon's kryptonite turns out to be ring ropes. Lightning crashes, the top rope breaks, the Demon is put down by and unexpected fall. This felt like it was really really dumb. Pretty sure this was dumb. 

This was not a very Extreme show, which was probably a blessing in disguise. I wasn't really in the mood to see ladder matches or whatever else they could have done. The show ended on a down note but had a strong first 2/3. The final two matches were intentionally overshadowed by match ending angles. Extreme Rules started with a good head of steam but ended too flatly to recommend as a show. 

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WWE Fastlane I Didn't Know If I Had Peacock or Not Blog 3/21/21

ER: I didn't know if I had Peacock or not, and it was kind of annoying to figure out, so I wasn't going to bother watching Fastlane. But then I realized it was still on the Network, and I know how to work that!! 

Matt Riddle vs. Mustafa Ali

ER: This was active enough, but I didn't like where they took most of their activity. I like how they worked both of the Riddle lands on Ali's boots/Ali lands on Riddle's knees spots, but there were some contrived set ups for a lot of the big stuff. I thought the Koji clutch after the fisherman's buster was dumb, and the set up for the middle rope piledriver was ridiculous. But the post match Retribution angle was hilarious. It's so funny hearing Ali address them by all their silly names, and how they all acted the walk out with gravitas but it comes off next level because Ali is doing serious acting with them. "No, Slapjack come on. Don't you walk through those ropes Slapjack. You're nothing without me Slapjack!" Ali running down Mace and T-Bar was funny, because Slapjack and Reckoning just had this standing up to my boss moment, but these two are making growling sounds and acting like Ninja Turtle villains. Like who the fuck is Retribution? What do they stand for? What's in the Retribution Mission Statement? What's their ethos? Are they a union? A cult? It's really funny. 

Sasha Banks/Bianca Belair vs. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax

ER: This tag was well managed and competently worked, but it never built to the level of interest it should have, and the Banks ego stuff at the end came off flat. Sasha's 2021 has been a major drop from her 2020, the character is just not right and the match work is suffering for it. Shayna and Nia controlling Belair made for the compelling parts. Shayna really dropped her with a knee that she would pay for later, Nia gets dropkicked into a nice Belair rana, Belair takes a big spill to the floor, it's good stuff. But Sasha looks messy on her hot tag, reaching to catch Baszler kicks before Baszler has thrown them. But she absolutely tags Shayna with a knee, and I loved her pouncing with the Banks Statement because of it. The ego drama at the end was bad, filled with dumb WrestleMania sign pointing and a stupid reaction from Banks. Nobody came off looking good because of this. For some reason I did like Belair still leaping to almost break up the losing pin on Banks, but this segment didn't help anybody. 

Big E vs. Apollo Crews

ER: They won me over a bit with the deliberate pace and stiff work, but that finish was a real loser. The match proper was filled with good looking stuff, but a disputed 3 count finish will never help any wrestler in any angle. Nobody gets excited by whether someone's shoulder wasn't actually pinned, and it leads to two awkward 2.5-3 counts where nobody is quite clear on what happened. But Big E hits Crews with the spear through the ropes and then hits two of those disgusting apron splashes he does. I don't know how much he actually pulls that apron splash or how much he just wrecks dudes' ribcages, but it feels like the WWE roster move I would least want to tank. He really gets a ton of impact on those standing splashes, they're really remarkable. His belly to belly suplexes looked good, and Crews' comeback looked decent. The finish was a real fizzle, but Crews looked a ton better during his post match beatdown of E than he looked during the match. Crews would be better off doing cool as Olympic slams and less jumping spinkick combos. 

Braun Strowman vs. Elias

ER: Elias was a decent Rick Rude-as-Johnny Polo here, and all of Braun's heaviest stuff looked heavy. Elias took bumps in fun ways that were a slight twist on standard back bumps, loved how he landed on Braun's big scoop chokeslam. Braun laid Elias out with a great clothesline that looked like Elias blindly running into a tree branch, and I dug how much Elias relished his brief time in control. This filled its role on a card. 

Seth Rollins vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

ER: Rollins PPV matches are such a drag. He's always a villain taking way too long to explain his evil plan. It is so hard to stay interested in Seth Rollins and the ways he chooses to pace his matches. Nakamura looked good when he fought back, and took a great bump to the floor after getting knocked off the buckles, really fell to the floor like a Chris Hamrick in leather rather than vinyl. Rollins does hit a very nice bullet tope, throwing his whole shoulder and side into Nakamura's torso and hurtling himself into the barricade because of it. That is a Cool Seth Rollins Moment. But Rollins also worked to Rollins up the rest of this, and by the time we got into a bunch of memorized sequences it's just impossible to stay engaged. Nothing can ever come off organic with this guy, always has to be the most focus grouped version of a wrestler every time. 

Drew McIntyre vs. Sheamus

ER: These two have really good chemistry, and I do not mind that we're getting the same match up run several times. I like the way these two beat each other up, and it's been a highlight of 2021 wrestling a quarter of the way through the year. The only thing I don't like about their matches is when McIntyre inevitably does his nice headbutt and Byron Saxton says in a leprechaun voice "Give us a kiss, Sheamus!" Byron Allen is more like it. This match was hard hitting as expected, but was more interesting when they kept things in the ring. Drew throwing Sheamus with several belly to belly suplexes (and Sheamus knowing how to land heavy on the suplexes) was engaging stuff, because no spot was moved to without one of the guys throwing a stiff body shot, or a chest welting chop, or a punch to the cheek. The brawl through the video screens had a lot of hard landings on non-mat surfaces, but it was a little meandering no matter how stiff it was. Still, a rolling senton on the floor will always look cool, and Sheamus getting thrown crashing through a video screen was a neat stunt spot and good looking fall. But Sheamus hitting a sick knee to Drew's chin in the ring is something I'd rather see more. And behold, things get immediately better the second they get back into the ring, and the slap exchange looked like two guys trying to KO each other with slaps. Crazy how much speed Drew can get behind a slap from his knees. Let these two keep kicking the hell out of each other. It's made for some great TV. 

Randy Orton vs. Alexa Bliss

ER: Maaaan who even wants this? Who out there wants this? Show yourselves! I liked Burn Victim Thing but I do not care about any of this! 

Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns

ER: I thought this was a pretty tremendous Bryan performance contained within a match that didn't hit what it was going for. This was way too long in the tooth and didn't work on as grand a scale as they were hoping it would. Roman's extremely slow and methodical newer style may work for some, but for me it usually feels like gratuitous time padding, and saps a lot of a match's drama. Bryan looked great throughout though and kept this buoyant. He was good at filling time by purposely annoying Reigns, getting under his skin, and all of his stick and move strikes looked like they were actually slowing Roman. Bryan's knees all looked great, and the Yes locks kept looking more and more like they could get an actual tap. The Edge involvement was as bad acted as expected, but Uso made the most of the situation with his interference. I think Roman's slow as hell pacing was driving me nuts here because it was always very clear that things were ending with Edge and Uso involvement, so every long minute we weren't getting to that point was just one more minute until the inevitable. Bryan was put into the position of having to make a decent trade for a player who just very publicly demanded to be traded, and it's a testament to his abilities that he kept this one as interesting as it was. 

ER: A pretty underwhelming show, with McIntyre/Sheamus really the only full match worth seeking out, although Bryan purists would love his performance in the title match. I guess it was pretty obvious this show would only be filler due to not actually needing a PPV in between Elimination Chamber and Mania. 

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WWE Royal Rumble 2021 Live Blog

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler vs. Asuka/Charlotte

ER: I thought Charlotte and Nia looked like a real mess throughout their whole Raw match earlier in the week, and they seem to have less chemistry a week later at the Rumble. I think it's pretty shocking how much Charlotte especially has regressed in the past couple years, and I wish they would hurry up and get Asuka away from her. I've mostly been a high voter on Jax but she's been noticeably slow and lazier in exchanges since coming back (ACL tears in both knees will do that to you). Things get clunky whenever Charlotte is in this one, and part of that is Baszler and Jax not being great at getting into position for Charlotte's offense, but a bigger part is Charlotte requiring people to too often be in specific position for offense that doesn't look great. She made a great diving save to break up a pin, but every one of her stomach kicks looked like she forgot what move she was supposed to be replicating. I'm also well beyond the point of needing to see Ric Flair on TV more than once or twice a year, and do not care about this angle with him and Lacey. I don't think this match ever came together as anything resembling a satisfying tag, the Asuka/Charlotte pairing does nothing for me, and the Baszler/Jax pairing has been very underwhelming. They need to separate all four of them and see if that helps freshen any of them. 

Goldberg vs. Drew McIntyre

ER: I am here for MMA shorts Goldberg. Really, I am here for Goldberg, so. This didn't really have the same kind of impact or sustained heat of the other Goldberg comeback matches, and ended really flat. It had a lot of promising steps throughout, like the spear nearfall to start, or the spear through the barricade, and I fully bit on the jackhammer kickout. Once Goldberg hit it I actually thought they were giving us another Goldberg run. And while I liked Goldberg's missed spear chest first corner bump, McIntyre needs to find something a little more interesting to do than making dumb Edge faces in the corner for FAR too long while Goldberg sells damage. I know part of the modern WWF dogshit style is to make dumbshit faces in the corner for too long before hitting your finisher, but this felt way too long, and ended this on an unfortunate note. 

Carmella vs. Sasha Banks

ER: A lot of this match really was not hitting for me, until things picked up with the Reginald involvement. It felt like they kept skipping steps within the match, like there weren't any kind of transitions between offense, they just went right to moves. Except Carmella was doing the moves deliberately slow, because heel I guess, and then when Sasha took over she was already doing "frustrated by only a 2 count" faces. It all felt really underbaked. The Reginald involvement added something unique to the match, loved him catching Sasha and eating a headscissors, this guy rules. But he's quickly sent to the back and Carmella does a dive that lands her right on her face. It used to be Sasha's job to almost break her face on dives, so Carmella is trying to do the equivalent of stealing her rival's finisher. Ending felt abrupt and not set up super well, with Carmella getting a couple nice reversals of big Banks spots, but then just getting tapped anyway. This was not a strong title match, and there aren't any weaker Banks title matches coming to mind. Major disappointment. 

Women's Rumble Match

ER: Bayley/Naomi is a good way to start the Rumble, but MAN has Naomi been a complete afterthought for seemingly 2 years. Her whole career has felt like her having a big showing on one of the big WWF PPVs, then them mostly not doing anything with that. She really could have been a major star a few years ago and they just repeatedly stall out on her. This is the first time she's been in any kind of match for 5 months, but I'm not sure if there were injuries or just a lack of interest. This really should be Bianca Belair's match. It has to be. If they just pull the trigger on her, come on baby! How awesome is Belair, skipping to the ring and removing her earrings for a fight? I've really been enjoying Billie Kay's solo run. I thought she was sunk for sure, but she's done far more interesting things than Royce since the split. Still would like it more with them together again, but oh well. I don't love Shotzi coming in and just doing all of her offense, the way she would entering a tag match. Everyone running at her, one at a time, the way you would in a hot tag or in a ninja movie is just dumb. It's one of the main reasons there aren't many good battle royals anymore, because "working a battle royal" is not the way most wrestlers work battle royals now. I don't like regular match in my battle royal, I get that in regular matches, which are plentiful. Watch a Rumble match like '89 or '90, and it's all those guys just filling the time with fighting. It's all punches and clotheslines and choking with boots. Now it's offense and I don't think it's better. 

Jillian Hall seems to be doing a Judy Tenuta thing now, and I think it works? Maybe it's an indication how well Peyton Royce is doing post Iiconics that I had no idea who her entrance music was for, and the Titan Tron video took forever to say it was Royce. Ohhhhhhhh shit I've been typing about it this entire time and I just realized they might get the Iiconics back together for this and I fucking want that so bad. It's a good way for them to get back together. Let them eliminate a couple people together and it's a great way to organically show that they're better when they're together! It would actually be a smart way to freshen up the roster, get an interesting team into the lifeless Asuka/Charlotte and Jax/Baszler stuff. But, of course, they don't do any of that. Royce almost immediately blends into the background of the match, and Kay is eliminated a few minutes later. A fruitful storyline abandoned without mention. 

Not a fan of the early and tossed off Toni Storm elimination. I've kind of unexpectedly become a big Toni fan over the past year. I am not interested in this becoming The Charlotte Match. But it really feels like a dumb thing WWF would do. "Ric had what we've defined as the Greatest Rumble Performance so now we need to give Charlotte her Greatest Rumble Performance." Please don't give us that. Too many people have been entering with missile dropkicks. It is stupid that so many have entered the match by immediately climbing to the top rope, and nobody has been punished for climbing to the top rope in the Royal Rumble. The ring is FILLED with people, someone should knock this person off the top rope while they are voluntarily standing there! This is another reason why people cannot work battle royals. The handstand set up for it was dumb, but I did like Dana Brooke hanging off Ripley's neck in a headscissors while Ripley tried to shake her off from the apron. Brooke was memorable in elimination. The layout of this has been weak for long stretches, like a couple instances of someone getting eliminated right before a new entrant, losing any impact of the elimination. BAYLEY'S elimination happened DURING Mickie James's entrance!! Who fucked that up!! Bayley was clearly one of the favorites to win this match, and they moved on within three seconds!! They showed her elimination as a replay, because the cameras were on James and not the arguable biggest name in the match being eliminated. That's really really bad layout for a Rumble. 

WWF could use Alicia Fox back. She would be a fun NXT act at minimum. Give me a Foxy/Aliyah pairing, that would be great. Strong inside cradle on R-Truth to get the 24/7 title back from Fox, good weight on the back of the thighs. I love Dakota Kai, and goddamn did she get eliminated. Ripley just dumped her face first on the apron. Not happy seeing Mandy and Kai eliminated back to back. I'm jinxing the hell out of my personal favorites. They do ANOTHER elimination RIGHT BEFORE a new entrance!! It has to be intentional at this point, and that is so stupid! Nikki Cross gets eliminated one second before TAMINA comes out. Eliminations with zero fanfare are a battle royal curse. There is a way to make eliminations sink in and at least let the announcers talk about the implications a bit, no need to be doing all of these at the exact same time as a thing that everyone is more interested in. The Naomi/Bianca stuff was good, they need to focus more on how long both have been in and they've been a little background, but I like how they're getting more screen time the longer they're in. 

They're going to do dumb Alexa Bliss stuff, aren't they. Yep. But THAT is a good elimination by Ripley! Thank god they had at least some Rumble decency, to have a dozen people in the ring just watching someone go through a long "transformation" without doing anything about it. I am so happy we didn't have to spend more than a minute on that. Ember Moon is yet another person coming in and doing all of their offense like a a normal match, but she dropkicks Naomi right in the face in a way that didn't seem intentional. Ember Moon looked really bad on her elimination, with that slow motion "setting up a spot" run she did to get backdropped by Shayna. Loved Nia's "I can't, she's family" excuse to not go after Tamina, but her hockey fighting with Shayna after Tamina's elimination looked bad. I'm not into the Nia/Shayna thing, just doesn't feel like it's going anywhere and the journey to get there isn't interesting. Do I hate Natalya's new gear? My instinct says yes, but is there an element of it I'm underappreciating? Perhaps. I'll level with you, I did not know there was important emotional history with Natalya and Lana. Was that elimination effective? I could not tell you. I have not been closely following the Natalya/Lana relationship. Charlotte has felt like a complete non-factor the entire time she's been in the Rumble. She was not working to stand out at all, so I am fully not interested in her valiantly battling against two foes, and I also don't understand her treating her elimination like a drunk sorority girl getting thrown out of a bar that overserved. 

I'm a big fan of Bianca going to WrestleMania, it's a great choice and the most interesting direction to go. But I wished I enjoyed her and Ripley's final two. I thought a lot of it looked real bad, like them doing really slow reversal sequences and slow thrown missed strikes. Ripley was hanging on the ropes dangling, and Belair just stood there waiting instead of kicking at her hands, literally standing there waiting to do the spot that came next. Working battle royals as a normal match suuuuucks. So I thought their final two stretch was not good, but the end result was great, and they did a genuinely great job of making it look like either Belair OR Ripley had a chance. That's important. Bianca's winner's speech was the kind of thing that would have been nice to see in front of a live crowd. 

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

ER: This didn't hook me until they started fighting up into the "crowd", and I liked some of the stuff up there. Owens had all these nasty chairshots to Roman's knees. He was jabbing the edge of a chair into Roman's patella, then just bashing them from the side, all really nasty stuff that should be sold throughout a match. They looked really hobbling but Reigns didn't treat them as such a moment later, which is disappointing. Owens had a nice bump off the riser and a good moment of him beating the 10 count. But once they went backstage it just felt like the same kind of slow Shane McMahon prop show that they've been doing into the ground. This whole thing is going too long, and I am so tired of these slow epic brawls that always make 20 minutes feel like 30 and 30 minutes feel like 45. These matches are more "ideas" matches than interesting fights, but none of the ideas are as good as any of the homebrew shit cooked up in the Last Battle of Burke. Sitting through an endless 25 minutes with a handcuff spot at the end taking up over 10% of the match is such a punishing waste of time. Michael Cole was right when he described this thing as brutal. I thought it would never stop. 

 

Men's Rumble Match

ER: I have not been following the storyline here, and that is just cruel to start this thing with Edge/Orton. This feels like they're fucking with me. Edge is at least a more compelling character now that his gimmick is that his body could break at any minute. Sami Zayn is looking, dressing, and wrestling more and more like Buck Robley, and I think it could make him one of my favorites. Has Mustafa Ali had his first name back since joining Retribution? Is Retribution a stable where getting back your own name is important, and that's why most of them have names like their parents were "child can choose their own name" parents? Edge has a better spear now than he did 10 years ago. When I'm not too into a match, I usually don't find myself saying "You know I bet this thing could get better if Dolph Ziggler got involved." I want to see a run from super gassed Carlito!! He looked like peak 80s gas Jimmy Snuka with cool Dick Anthony Williams facial hair. 

These things kind of stink now that the moments are all planned in the exact same way. Guy comes in, does his signature offense while people run at him one by one, do pose to hard cam, storyline for next elimination starts once new entrant is done with his offense, elimination culminates with 10 seconds until next entrant. They have gone to that exact same pattern in this and the women's rumble, and it sucks. 

Kane comes out looking more like the local guy playing Kane on an Australian knock off indy. That other guy might look better in ring at this point though. I wish Otis would have been in the match longer, thought his discus clothesline and capture suplex looked really great, but at least his elimination bump was the nastiest of the men's rumble so far. Dominik got big height, and Hurricane would be a nice guy to have back somewhere, but this rumble is not great. There are no compelling stories here, and it's felt like it's been full of restarts. Christian return is cool, and here's a thing I cannot believe: When Christian, Riddle, Big E, and Bryan all teamed up to force Lashley over, that was literally the first time in EITHER rumble that a group decided to go after one person. It's been all these stupid paired of "stories" that aren't really interesting, instead of people actually thinking like someone IN a rumble. That moment actually felt like a rumble, like a few people suddenly remembered a rumble strategy. What I said earlier about Edge having a way better spear in 2021 than he did in 2010? Still holds, as his spear on Styles looked great. Victoria Beer, seen in the background of every lucha match I've been watching lately, is now sponsoring Royal Rumble entrants? Nobody else got sponsored? Kane and AJ Styles were in there, StopTheSteal didn't want to sponsor them? Christian and Sheamus always had great chemistry. I'd love to see a 2021 Christian/Sheamus match. 

Cesaro lifting and throwing Strowman over the top would have been far more interesting than Strowman eliminating Cesaro, and Sheamus deserved better. Bryan and Riddle really laced into each other during their portion, and Bryan would be my easy pick if asked "Who would you like to win this rumble?" This is the first time these two have had an exchange of any kind, and it all looked really great. What looks riduculous is every person still left in the match lying around the ring while Bryan and Riddle can just have a 4 minute match. Nobody should be lying on the mat for that long, let alone four people at the same time. I thought the finishing run was pretty bad, thought the Bryan elimination was a pretty big nail in the coffin. The Edge story is not something I can get too interested in, but all of his spears looked great in this match, and I could actually see him being a part of a good match now. I'm not expecting it, but he is slightly more interesting now than a decade ago. 

ER: Disappointing show top to bottom. Both Rumbles were really uninspired and badly laid out, the Last Man Standing match felt endless, the tag title match was bad, and the Sasha match was below her level. That's a bummer of a show right there. 

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2020 Ongoing MOTY List: Big E vs. Sheamus Falls Count Anywhere

25. Big E vs. Sheamus WWE Smackdown 10/9

ER: What a couple of psychos. This was a falls count anywhere match that played like Big E and Sheamus somehow saw Yard Call and wanted to do their own version of it. Except do it in the middle of a pandemic, without a crowd surrounding them and urging them on. No, this was just two guys hitting each other as hard as they could with weapons for 10 minutes, like neither had heard of the concept of pulling your shots. This lost any pretense of "wrestling match" within the first minute, and once Big E crashes Sheamus to the floor with the out of ring spear (how crazy do you have to be to not only still be regularly using that move, but using it with no live crowd?!?), this was two guys hitting each other with disgusting weapon shots. Sheamus and Big E were beating each other up so bad that you'd think Big E was refusing to wear the special glasses Sheamus wanted him to put on. 

These might have been the sickest Singapore cane shots I've seen, with Sheamus tying Big E's arms in the ropes before hitting him in the ribs as hard as he could, and Big E paying him back by welting most Sheamus's back. Sheamus had a wide bruise going from the back of one arm, across the broadest part of his back, and off the other arm. They break brooms over each other's heads, Big E beats Sheamus with a trashcan that doesn't really give, then runs him hard into a concrete wall before scraping him out a door. These hits looked nastier the more they did them, as every fall looked painful, every hit looked as hard as the first, and they were doing this with only a ref and cameraman around! This is among the sickest most inspired teenage backyard matches in their willingness to kill each other for no live crowd gratification. They do a lot of great things in and out and off of cars, including some sicko car bumps. Big E takes a White Noise on the windshield of a car, and Sheamus takes a powerbomb on a car windshield and slides off to the concrete; Big E gets his hip and legs slammed in the car door, and I loved the spot where he got his leg up to keep Sheamus from slamming his arm in the trunk. By the end Big E has cuts on his legs, Sheamus has cut up elbows and dark welts, and you know this whole thing would have played great at the Zone 23 junkyard. 

PAS: It is pretty crazy the amount of punishment wrestlers are willing to take in these sterile audienceless gimmick matches. I wasn't going to watch War Games but the clips I saw looked nuts, and I wasn't going to watch TLC but I can imagine the dumb shit they did there. This had a bit of random WWE weapon brawling in it, but it got pretty nasty pretty quick with the Kendo stick shots. They were really on the "Sandman canes Mikey to make Woman cum" level of violence (Rest in Power Nancy) and Sheamus's seal white body is a great wrestling special effect, it really accentuates every welt and cut. They really shouldn't have done the white noise on the windshield to set the match up, as it took a little of the steam off seeing it a second time, still totally nasty stuff, and both guys were smearing blood all over the hoods of the cars after the match. Uncalled for stuff, for something which was basically forgotten the next day, but we didn't forget it. 

2020 MOTY MASTER LIST

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WWE TLC 2020 Late Blog

My sister is moving in a month, so I spent the weekend with her packing boxes and moving things into her garage. A stunt show PPV I can have on in the background and pay partial attention to sounds like it could be fun. Not super familiar with the card so I'm kind of going in blind, which hopefully leads to being pleasantly caught off guard. Am very excited for Sasha/Carmella.

Daniel Bryan/Otis/Chad Gable/Big E vs. King Corbin/Cesaro/Shinsuke Nakamura/Sami Zayn 

ER: Bryan keeps shaving the sides of his head higher and higher, and he continues his career trend of Always Having the Hair of a 10 Year Old. Otis is wearing a Vader singlet, and this match looks like something that can't miss on paper. These 8 guys in a 2000s NOAH setting would light things on fire, so I'm high hoping this one. And it was actually really good. It had a great Coliseum Video feel to it, the way it was worked, and the way it was 4 babyfaces vs. 4 heels and they're mostly aligned because of being either a face or a heel. Zayn was avoiding Big E and running around the ring and hiding like Jimmy Hart, and it was balanced well with quick tags and a brief cool down to build to the big finish run. Corbin is good at working cool down (that's an actual compliment) and good at inserting himself in the hot finish, Bryan glues all this together to build to the big Otis hot tag, and the finish stretch move chaining all looked good. Cesaro hits this awesome deadlift Dr. Bomb and just lets him go, Corbin hits a great spinebuster on Otis, we get our big showdown between Big E and Zayn and Zayn gets caught. It's all very satisfying pro wrestling. 

AJ Styles vs. Drew McIntyre

ER: I really liked this, but thought the ladder stuff really took away from the match at points. I liked the first 8 minutes when no weapons were used the best, with Styles bumping big around the ring and ringside. He took hard hits into the buckles, got dropped ribs first a couple times on the barricade, got thrown over a table with chairs on it as if he were in a fight in a closed bar, and it was great. Setting up tables and climbing ladders changed the pace of the match, which they made up for by building to hard landings (Styles gets tossed hard on a ladder and thrown over the top through a table at ringside), so everything looks like it really stings. But I think the ladder climbing really took me out of it as the climbing doesn't feel anywhere near as climactic as had they just been wrestling. Miz cashing in his briefcase and then doing the slowest possible climb really made this stip feel stupid, though I think the fight choreography when they got to all three fighting on the ladders was good. Styles working over McIntyre's leg lead to a couple nice moments, like the calf slicer through the ladder. Styles' bump off the ladder to the floor looked sick, and Miz was made to look like an absolutely tremendous fool. Also, I do not need Miz in the title scene and him losing in this kind of fashion is perfectly fine for me. A match that lost me, but one that also had a lot of good (front loaded), but needed an editor. 

Sasha Banks vs. Carmella

ER: I thought this was really good, as good as I was hoping it to be. It had a couple twists and turns, made Carmella look like a worthy challenger, built to a feverish home stretch, one of those matches where a better opponent helps bring out the best parts of Carmella. Sasha is really great at this point, so much that it always bums me out that none of this is playing in front of live crowds. Sasha feels like she'd be the biggest thing in 2020 wrestling if there were live shows. I'm really glad this was a straight match and not worked under the TLC stip, a straight match was the right choice and the drama over nearfalls and submissions is more interesting than climbing and falling. The involvement of Reginald was good, loved him catching Carmella on a dive, ducking Sasha, and tossing her into a headscissors. And the payback was well played late in the match with Sasha hitting a meteora and then getting blasted by a couple superkicks for a genuinely strong nearfall. I thought Carmella could actually win it there. Sasha was great at running into everything Carmella had, and both kept things real close on sunset flips and small packages. It's really nice seeing such fine execution on pinfall attempts. I loved both of Carmella's submissions, both of them look like sick lucha maestro subs and are both somehow locked on just as smoothly. Both of those subs would look awesome applied by Negro Navarro or Blue Panther, but it also looks awesome applied by Carmella. It makes me happy. This whole match was fun throughout, really made me smile and enjoy the wrestling the whole time. A very tight build and explosive finishing stretch, just another great Big Match Sasha performance. 

Shelton Benjamin/Cedric Alexander vs. Xavier Woods/Kofi Kingston

ER: This was good, and kept up the same fun energy the entire rest of the show has had so far. This has been a very fun show, everyone feels like they're trying a couple new things in the ring, it's made things feel special so far. This tag was no different, and it made me realize that I appreciate that The Hurt Business actually seems to be growing as an idea. I like that it wasn't one of those ideas where WWE seems on board with it for two weeks and then loses all interest, instead it seems like they're letting it grow naturally. It's given new life to Shelton Benjamin and made him as relevant as he's been in 15 years. If they want to they could let him ride out a couple more years as an upper card tag worker and he'd be great at it. It's also been good for Cedric Alexander, who instead of being one of several similar 205 Live babyfaces, his style feels more focused for being in a regular tag team. Both teams worked a fun fast big bumps style, and kept the match to a brisk 10 minutes for maximum impact. I love how definitively Hurt Business won the belts. There was no bullshit, just a dominant team catching the champs. Benjamin hit a pop up superplex that should play in Hurt Business highlight videos, and the Alexander backcracker finisher is the premier use of that overused move, and shows that an overplayed move can still be used effectively. I'd love to see the Hurt Business continue to evolve and even add members, and would love to see them have a run with multiple title holders in the stable. This whole match really got me into the potential of them, so I'd call that a huge success. 

Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler vs. Asuka/Charlotte

ER: I was just thinking the other day that I had not missed Charlotte, and yet I was happy to see her here just because I will take any new face in this match rather than see Lana in the main women's program on Raw. It's poorly executed, it's obvious, the commentary screams all of the bullet points for how we're supposed to feel about it all, but I just don't want Lana in these matches anymore. That said, I wish it didn't feel like Charlotte was immediately Superwoman again. It felt like she just ran through Nia and Shayna, and while I admit the Nia/Shayna hasn't lived up to its potential, they should be a pair who are on Charlotte's level. You can make an argument for the surprise factor, they weren't expecting her, but they just got outmatched and I didn't like that. Asuka automatically feels like the smaller banana with Charlotte around, as she had to spend the match being the one to take a lot of Nia and Shayna's offense. But Asuka is good at that and I liked the way her hip attack took Nia out of things at the finish. Still, this match played into my worse fear, that we're going to go straight back to a Charlotte-dominated scene. 

Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

ER: This didn't feel far off, but this didn't work for me. I didn't like the Uso interference, and Uso made to look as effective as a manager only type. There were a lot of big spills - maybe too many - yet I thought several of the biggest ones were shrugged off in the name of blocking someone's climbing. I was not into the slow climbs no matter how earned they were with big bumps. I thought going to Uso for every big Reigns comeback came off weak, and that it would have been perhaps more played out to have the interference happen in only one big moment instead of all through the match, but it would have made for a better match and made it appear Owens had more of a chance. Roman going through the barricade looked fantastic, and was one of the best looking "leveled barricade" spots they've done. No matter how I felt about the match layout as a whole, I thought that looked the best. Owens took some nasty falls into ladders (Roman too), but these slow paced Roman walking matches have not been my thing. 

So, I had a really fun time watching this show, and the vibe seems to be turning with those last couple matches, turning into something much less good. The tag match and Reigns match were not my thing but I also don't think they were bad. BUT. It feels like I would be tossing a lot of goodwill and pleasant memories right out the window if I put myself through a Randy Orton/Fiend match. I mean what kind of psychopath would I have to be to do that? 2020 has been difficult enough, why would I put myself through all of that? Let's go out on a high note, and be happy for the fun stuff we did get. 

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The Horror Show at WWE Extreme Rules 7/19/20

ER: I am very interested in both women's title matches, and probably not anything else! I do have a perverse interest in how they're going to pull off the eyeball gimmick without making kids hate wrestling.


Kevin Owens vs. Murphy

ER: This was given more time than a typical pre-show match, but I liked the first half of the match a lot more than the second half. The first half was based around Owens throwing stiff strikes, hard shoulderblocks, big clotheslines, and I'd much rather see that. I get less interested by the time we have a too long fight on the top rope and the big nearfalls feel too performative. The best parts were always Owens shaking Murphy with elbows and crushing him with a cannonball, but I was less interested in seeing them have a Murphy match. It played better than a lot of that stuff, so Owens kept the floor high. A spirited and plenty hot opener, just not my preferred heat.

Tables Match: New Day (Big E/Kofi Kingston) vs. Cesaro/Shinsuke Nakamura

ER: This was a big moments match with plenty of cool big moments. Even on moments where the set up was longer than needed, the spot wound up paying off. I liked Nakamura's logical work around the tables, saw him smartly position them a couple of times, liked how he shoved one out of the way when rolling to the floor. I loved the spot where Kingston flew to the ground and smacked face first into a table, held there like a wall by Cesaro and Nakamura. Big E's spear through the ropes to Cesaro looked as spectacular as ever, and we should celebrate that he is still doing that spot. The final table spot looked crazy, Kofi getting drilled through those tables by Cesaro is something that would have played for two years in an ECW intro. Nobody will think about this spot after a couple weeks, but it looked crazy in the moment. The spots with the tables, in the tables match, were good! So this was fine.

Nikki Cross vs. Bayley

ER: I was excited for this one and really liked the how they started it. I bought into the idea that Nikki could pull off a flash upset. Nikki was getting smart quick roll-ups and landing heavy on several straight crossbodies for nearfalls was really engaging. I like Nikki's way of not rolling through crossbodies, but actually treating it like a potential finisher by landing hard. Her crossbody off the apron to the floor was really great, and I liked Bayley being kept on the ropes. They had a couple of fun fights in the ring skirt, and I'll always react to those. But the problem is that Nikki Cross is not good in a lot of ways. It can take her forever to get into position to deliver something, which makes disbelief suspension a lot more difficult, especially since we were supposed to believe that she had the capability of surprising Bayley. She doesn't get the reactions she could on offense because she doesn't seem to know how to peak things. She has been working a vest unzip/vest removal spot for over a year now, and it's like she never quite knows how to use a proper strap removal spot within a match. She makes it look like she's just removing a piece of clothing that got in the way. This match was one I was excited for on paper, but it kind of just wound up exposing Nikki's singles match weaknesses. I'm still into the Sasha/Bayley act, and that kept the bulk of this strong.

Seth Rollins vs. Rey Mysterio

ER: I'm...not really sure how I feel about this one? It's a weird gross idea that feels hard to pull off, while also feeling like something that nobody ever asked for. Trying to stab someone in the eye is a great way to end an I Quit match, but a match where the sole focus will be on pulling out an eye? I don't know who was asking for that. I'd also be willing to bet that someone on the writing team got the idea from watching Fulci's Zombie rather than from watching Magnum/Tully. The thing is, for a match with an insane advertised conclusion, Rey busts his ass to make this work, and Rollins comes along with him. Rey was really great at inserting Rey spots in the middle of eye spots, and he takes some wild bumps to make this match feel even more dangerous. The apron falcon arrow was sick, and he was so good at working spots around turnbuckles and ring steps. Rollins was no slouch, and I liked his ringpost shoulder bump among other things, but Rey is just too good. Trying to gouge someone's eye out on the corner of a ring step is gross stuff, and Rey plays the fear of it really well. He does great with a kendo stick jammed into the corner, really going after that Fulci eye gouge where the gap between eyeball and wood slowly closes (needed more sharp jagged splintery bits). This finish is what the finish was advertised as being. Part of me thinks "Hey that owns!" It looked disgusting and Rollins throwing up after is the kind of apex to the Grand Guignol shit they have been trying to pull off in little ways. But another part of me still just finds the stip odd and unnecessary. Plus, this is a fed that chose to only use Pirata Morgan twice and was uninterested in bringing back old and crazy PCO. I'm not sure I can trust them to know how to properly book pirate Rey.

Asuka vs. Sasha Banks

ER: This was a really great match with a monumentally stupid finish. It's pretty deflating to work through such appealing match with fine drama and an exciting build, and then completely undercut every part of it with a finish that hasn't flown in 25 years. Having a ref get taken out of commission, to be replaced by a heel wearing a ref shirt, is an idea that Vince Russo buried and resuscitated hundreds of times, a man who never learned the lessons of Pet Sematary. Just a weak an unexplainable finish to be doing in 2020. But the rest was great! Sasha has been my favorite to watch weekly these past several months, and I think her and Bayley are doing a great job essentially running television. I'd much rather see them doing what they're doing, than seeing Charlotte clogging up main events. Sasha bumped huge here and really made this feel special. She flew to the floor on a charge and flew again after getting knocked off the apron by a hip attack. She kept building her bumps to mean more the deeper we got, and the way she flew into Asuka's Germans took this to another level. Sasha can come off clumsy on big bumps, but I think she's gotten so much better at body control over the years. These suplexes looked like they really folded her in half, but going back and watching them you can see her land on her back and shoulders and fold in a way that looks like she just got dumped directly on her neck. A safer bump that looks career shortening is a smart move, and it looked killer. Sasha's comebacks were good, and the Banks Statements was used really effectively. It's a great finisher that plays even better with a flexible opponent, and Asuka was really good at making it matter as she scrambled to the ropes. Both of their kicks looked good, I loved Asuka turning a Banks top rope arm drag into a nasty knee lift to the chin, I was really loving all of this. But that finish is a real deflator.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre

ER: I thought this was really good. There isn't much in WWE I am less interested in than 2020 Dolph Ziggler matches, and yet this was a great title match that made great use of an intentionally lopsided stipulation. The stip (No DQ for Ziggler) made him more interesting. Ziggler throwing chairs at someone's knee in between taking painful throws over the announce table and into hard ringside objects he set up is just going to be way better than a typical Ziggler match. Ziggler was great at turning his normally athletic bumps into actually painful bumps, and Drew was wrecking him with glee. Ziggler took a great bump into the ringpost on the floor, ate several sick belly to belly suplexes in and out of ring (a cool fast on in the ring and a wild one into/over the announce table), and my favorite was probably McIntyre's awesome vertical suplex on the floor that really splatted Ziggler. Ziggler's cut off spots were strong, and I really got into the stip of him being able to cheat to stifle any momentum. The table spot was big, and they parsed out the nearfalls to keep the excitement strong. The finish was good too, and I'm unsure if that's because it's an actual good finish or that many of the other finishes have been bad enough that a competent finish feels like visionary genius. I wouldn't have guessed this would be the strongest match of the show, but it was and that's part of the fun.

Swamp Fight

ER: WWE is aiming, or more likely only capable of reaching, for deep cut straight to Netflix horror and those movies that used to be on the bottom row of Redbox kiosks. They need to surprise us by giving us a cinematic match that is based on Portrait of a Lady on Fire. We all saw the Matt Hardy stuff several years ago and I can't get too excited these days about a weekend Friday the 13th project.


ER: The show underwhelmed and underdelivered, but Asuka/Banks gave us a really good 15 minutes and McIntyre/Ziggler was an unexpectedly strong showing. Rey had a great performance in a weird situation, and other than the Swamp Fight the floor was high. But the show also felt a lot longer than it actually was. And that kind of speaks to the weirdness of this show. A show with a strong men's title match, a strong women's match, and a great Rey performance feels like a show I'd leave behind fondly. And yet we're here.

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2019 Ongoing MOTY List: Bryan/Rowan vs. Big E/Woods

15. Daniel Bryan/Erick Rowan vs. Big E/Xavier Woods WWE Smackdown 8/6

ER: WWE has a really great tag division, and there's no actual reason we aren't getting a match this good every week. There are good tag teams, give them some time and give us some cool main event tag wrestling. Bryan is a great guy to be leading a main event tag run, and Big E gives him a super intriguing opponent (and a match-up that I still want to see a ton more). Bryan is a guy the crowds are always invested in - New Day, too - so matches opposite each other are always gonna be hot and Bryan is someone who knows how to peak a crowd. Rowan and Bryan were fun cutting Woods off from Big E, and I especially loved Rowan hitting that big running crossbody (loved when Mike Knox started making that into a big man spot a decade plus ago) and working a big cravate, then setting up Woods to eat a big Bryan dropkick. But the match gets great when we finally get the Bryan/Big E showdown, Big E starts chucking Bryan with huge belly to bellys, big splash, Bryan kicking at him, a Big E stretch muffler, a LeBell Lock, and a Big E powerbomb. These two were dynamite in there, and it was all part of a huge final stretch. Rowan's spinkick hits like a construction worker getting hit with a swinging I-beam, Woods hits a big ropewalker elbow, Big E takes Bryan out of action with that big damn spear to the floor (that is still one of the craziest spots going), we get a great pinfall save by Bryan, and I don't even mind the DQ finish. A DQ finish done with style is still fun, and I loved Rowan just clonking Woods with the ring steps when things were getting out of their hands. Bryan and Rowan need to face the roster.

PAS: This was pretty incredible, we are a bit sensitized to TV matches these days. There is an obvious corollary between Rowan and Bryan and the Hart Foundation, skilled technical wrestler teaming with strong dude with a long beard. Did the Hart Foundation ever have a match this good? Is there more than a half dozen things Bret Hart did in his entire career as cool as the Stretch Muffler to LaBell Lock to Triangle Choke to Powerbomb sequence that Daniel Bryan and Big E pulled off? I am a Jim Neidhart high voter, I can't remember any Anvil spot as cool as that crossbody/forearm to Xavier Woods jaw. I am a curmudgeon about modern wrestling, I would much rather watch something from 1979, 89, 99 or 09 then current stuff today, but you got to give it up sometimes. WWE is putting out a minimum of 9 hours of televised wrestling a week (3 RAW, 2 Smackdown. 1 NXT, 1 NXT UK, 1 205 Live, with most weeks having a Takeover or PPV) with a transcendentally talented roster. It's the proverbial monkeys typing on the proverbial typewriters, you will get stuff like this, and it will be forgotten a couple of weeks later. I thought the beat down on Xavier was really cool (although we missed some due to commercial), the hot tag to Big E was great and your final finish run was about as good as that kind of WWE nearfall finish run gets, every spot built to a cooler second spot and the finish was nasty and brutal. This was awesome, totally worth trying to remember at the end of the year.


2019 MOTY MASTER LIST

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WWE Clash of Champions 9/15/19

Lince Dorado vs. Humberto Carrillo vs. Drew Gulak

ER: Fun match with typical problems that curse three ways. I don't know why Lince was added to the match, but I would have been far more interested in Gulak vs. Carrillo or Gulak vs. Dorado. But we got a three way instead, and it had awkward three way moments where timing was off or someone accidentally kinda took a move instead of dodging it, and of course disappearing for minutes. But it was genuinely fun, in spite of those accurate complaints. Dorado had a cool pescado with his arms at his side, following it up with a slick rana to Gulak on the floor, and then turns a potential silly hot shot bump into a dangerous tumble to the floor. I like Gulak against lucha guys, like how he can make flippy offense seem legit, and Carrillo is someone who tries a lot of things even if they don't always work flush. They try a wild tower spot with a Doomsday Device dive to the floor, I enjoyed the moment where Gulak got his feet up on Carrillo's moonsault but Carrillo anticipated it, Carrillo takes a great posting bump, Gulak breaks out cool things like a gutbuster, and then some other things don't work. But it was a fun opener.

Cedric Alexander vs. AJ Styles

ER: So, I enjoyed this, but I assume most people were thinking this one had some show stealing potential and didn't really want the WorldWide style showcase we wound up with. This was short, compact, and explosive, as good as you'd want a match this short to be. I dug how aggressive Alexander was and I bought that they might give him the early match surprise pin, totally thought that he was winning in a minute. The big spot counters were cool, dug Styles planting him with a Styles Clash on the floor, nice apron spot without going too crazy, Cedric hit a bitchin back elbow on the apron, and we got a fun quick action bout that I'll forget about by the end of the night.

Seth Rollins/Braun Strowman vs. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode

ER: You know, if I'm going to watch Ziggler and Rollins, it's at least better that they're paired with a couple other guys. Although had they just been in a singles match against each other I would have skipped it. Huh. I guess that's the better scenario. And this was mostly pretty boring when 3 of the guys were involved, and really awesome when Braun was involved. If it was easier to skip ahead in matches on the New Network I would have skimmed like a motherfucker through this one. Braun's hot tag was the clear highlight, big corner charges, big shoulderblocks on the floor all around the ring, muscling up Roode for a big flapjack out of a DDT attempt, but Seth was shortly back in and whiffing on flying knees. The full extension superkick to Roode was nice though. They kept it economical, and that was fine by me.

Charlotte vs. Bayley

ER: This was a drag. I was getting into Charlotte wrecking Bayley without Bayley getting to come up for air, Charlotte starting with a big boot and not stopping. I dug Bayley's heavy bumps into the barricades, I was really getting into the one-sidedness and wondering where they would go with it. And then moments later the thing was done. Bayley didn't look great from the moment she took over, taking three tries to grab Charlotte into a sloppy small package, and messing up the timing on the drop toehold into buckle finish. I like the finish in a vacuum, but it needed a much longer Charlotte beatdown, and Bayley needed to either look actually good, or completely overwhelmed and outclassed. She didn't shine in the couple moments of offense, and her acting isn't good enough to play overwhelmed heel. Major disappointment.

The Revival vs. Big E/Xavier Woods

ER: Big E is wearing maybe the finest singlet in the great history of singlets. What an absolute masterpiece that is. This show has been wildly underwhelming, this one now has an even heavier load on its shoulders. And the match was really good! Easily the best on the show. The finish took a little long to set up, though I don't mind that they stretched out some time to make the Revival look like punishing sadists. The Revival presented strongly is a cool thing. I like that they switched things up and had Big E cut off from Xavier, even though Big E hot tags are among the best things in the WWE tag division. Big E can Ricky just as interestingly as he can Robert, and I loved the entire sequence of him getting left for dead on the floor: He stops the momentum of a Dash tope, fixes to toss him with a belly to belly, Dash headbutts out, he and Dawson try to shove him into the post, E blocks, then eats the shatter machine. Revival both sold the effects of doing the shatter machine on the hard floor, acting like they both took bumps on concrete to pull it off. I also dig that even though Big E wasn't doing his tope spear, he was still gonna take a big bump through the ropes to the floor. Xavier looked tight as hell on the hot tag, like he knew people were used to Big E fireworks and he knew he had to really be throwing clotheslines and kicks. His handspring lariat looked great, and that's the kind of thing that guys rarely make look good. I don't think the match reached the heights it could have, but Revival looked well-oiled, I dug their post-match victory promo, liked the idea of them targetting Xavier's knee even if took a bit long, but this was all good.

Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville vs. Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross

ER: Another under-delivery. Rose has been a great house show performer and I have a soft spot for her because of that, but she has been on the main roster a LONG time now and it has STILL not translated to a really good TV or PPV match. I am not sure what's missing. I like her and Sonya together, I've SEEN what both are capable of, and it just doesn't shake out to anything more than decent when they get a showcase. Now this did serve as background for a portion of the 24/7 chase, but I don't think they looked like total dweebs. Three of them did, but at least Bliss went for a roll-up on Truth. There was a decent nearfall save, but this whole thing felt like a time filler.

The Miz vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

ER: I don't really care about either of these two, but this was a good match. Miz always comes off a little too smooth and planned, and that's a big barrier for me, so I got a kick out of Zayn's King of Soft Style commentary. And I also got a kick out of him landing a really nice jab right when he was called King of Soft Style. I liked Miz's jumping knees in the corner to build to the corner clothesline, loved Nakamura going all jellyfish on a spike DDT, thought a couple of Nakamura's sloppy kick combos looked cool, it was a perfectly fine match.

Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch

ER: I didn't think the match itself was great, but I liked what they did once they went to the floor and into the crowd. The staircase brawling was better in Sasha/Charlotte, and part of the time it was way too ECW Hold Hair Walking, but all the getting tossed into hard objects stuff looked good (Sasha is good at throwing herself into railings and tables and condiment counters), and it was great seeing kids sitting 35 rows up flipping out when two wrestlers were somehow right next to them. The initial chairshots were a little weak, and the chairshot that took the ref out of contention was nothing special, but I really liked the energy at the end of the segment with Becky throwing Sasha repeatedly into a set up chair. Within the match, the most engaging stuff was anything based around the Banks Statement or the Disarm-Her, but too much of this had no fire, and this needed more hate. I also thought Graves shoehorning a comment about Banks lying down and having a tantrum felt way too produced, took away from a match that didn't need it.

Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston

ER: Nope.

Roman Reigns vs. Erick Rowan

ER: Big boy battles are all the rage these days, and my god did this show need a big boy battle. This stood out especially on this show, but would have stood out most places. Both guys threw bombs, took bigger than expected spills, threw full weight into shoulderblocks and back elbows, Reigns crushed the Superman punch, and Drive-By looked great, and the crowd brawling was nice and dirty. Rowan missed a big awful charge in the ring steps, a hard running forearm, nice splash, and we build to him hitting a huge powerbomb through an announce table. These guys were really landing shots and it ruled. I had mentioned to someone a few days ago that WWE appears to be phasing out elbowdrops, and here's Rowan dropping his full damn weight into Roman's side with one. I dug the ringside brawling, liked the stuff with the crane, and then got even more excited when the lean as hell Luke Harper came back!! We got Amon Amarth and Enslaved represented, and I keep expecting Harper to turn, and instead we get a welcome reunion (for now). This was easily my favorite thing on the show, gave me exactly what I wanted out of these two, tons of great bomb throwing set pieces.

Seth Rollins vs. Braun Strowman

ER: Braun is at least someone who is gonna get me to watch a Seth Rollins match, and we established that twice in one night. Shameful. The match structure was good, even though I think Rollins looked pretty lousy in the parts that needed him. It's smart that they have Rollins double and triple up on his offense, as most of his offense doesn't look credible in any way against Braun. So you have him do a few superkicks, you have him do a few leaping knees (you know, the ones he threw tonight where on all but one of them Michael Cole had to throw out some kind of "well I don't think he hit all of that, but..." to cover for how terrible they looked), several dives, several curb stomps, etc. Almost all of it looked trash, but it was smartly laid out within the match. Now Braun, he more than held up his end of things, and completely made this match. He flew his body into offense (loved him not holding back on shoulderblocks), and he threw his body into everything to make Rollins' offense look lethal. He took a drop toehold into the announce table, took a tope into the table and broke it, worked a leg injury, did an insane looking splash off the top, I mean this was probably Braun's best performance in a year. Even with Rollins' kind of dim bulb performance, Braun's epic level performance and the strong layout made this whole show end on a high note, no small feat.


ER: Not an offensive show, but a fairly unmemorable show in terms of match quality. Nobody went out and stunk up the joint, but there weren't many matches that were lighting fires. There was stuff I enjoyed littered all throughout, and we ended on a cool high note, but I'm not sure how much of this show I'll remember by the next one.

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WWE Extreme Rules 7/14/19 Blog

Jeeeez these things start earlier and earlier. Are 4 PM starts the norm now? They always catch me off guard. I dig Beth Phoenix's new haircut, though it feels like they're doing that thing where they make her look like Renee Young, as they made Michael Cole look like Todd Pettengill.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Finn Balor

ER: Feels like there will be people upset that these two are on the pre-show, in a title match no less, but these are not concerns that I share. I prefer when the pre-show matches are guys who typically wind up on 205 Live or Main Event, as it plays like a fun 8 minute try out match at that point and they usually deliver. This just feels like a couple of established guys slumming it. I'm pretty certain that every single strike Balor threw landed about 6" to the side of Nakamura. Pele kick? Somewhere over Shinsuke's shoulder. Kick from the apron? somewhere past Shinsuke's head. Balor's cut off double stomp looked good, and Nakamura's two finishing shots looked good (knee to the back of the head looked great and then kinshasa was a good follow up), but I didn't really expect them to change the title in such a vanilla match. This felt like the touring 6 minute match these two would have around the circuit, felt very going through the motions.

Tony Nese vs. Drew Gulak

ER: Early on we get a "Let's Go Gulak" chant which is an awesome surprise. If Gulak actually starts to get over the same way Bryan got over earlier in the decade, how great will that be?? This is kind of what anybody could have expected going in: Gulak looked great, Nese did not, but Nese tried some things that worked in a stupid risk taking way. Nese has that "hey Evan Karagias is getting better" vibe to him, but he doesn't actually have babyface charisma. He does things that some fans should find cool, but Gulak is the one getting the reactions here. YES, obviously this is being held right in Gulak's stomping grounds, but that isn't a guarantee to get a great reaction and he got them throughout. Nese did a wild moonsault to the floor, hitting Gulak who was tied up in the ropes over the apron; it didn't really work, but I like him going for stupid stuff. He also overshoots a 450 and slams those knees right into Gulak's ribs, throws him messily into the corner with a german suplex, basically the nastiest parts of Nese's attack were kind of accidents. Gulak threw great kicks, and I think his reactions are going to keep getting louder, and they'll eventually babyface him. Early in the match Gulak hit an awesome diving clothesline off the apron (hard to make diving clotheslines look good) and his folding powerbomb looked great and would make a fine finisher, but I love the old school style of his spinning back suplex. Gulak is here baby!

No Holds Barred: Shane McMahon/Drew McIntyre vs. Roman Reigns/Undertaker

ER: Starting off the show with this one! And you know what? I thought it was awesome. I was hooked in throughout, feeling it the whole time. The NHB stip is mostly wasted as this was worked about as straight as you can work a tag match (until 12+ minutes in), but they worked a damn successful tag formula. The key was Shane actually treated the way Shane *should* be treated in the ring. Shane is never portrayed as an equal, he comes in with his stupid little punches, and then gets absolutely manhandled. That's what should be happening. Undertaker never once treated him seriously, which thank fucking god. Reigns was throwing big uppercuts to Shane, and Undertaker is full crazy old man. I gotta respect the guy. He got dropped his head by Goldberg not even a couple months ago and here he is, breaking out the greatest hits, dropping a big leg on the apron, throwing big boots, looking like The Undertaker. McIntyre hits a huge overhead belly to belly on Roman and he gets a cool showdown with Taker (McIntyre appeared to be taller than Taker at this point), but a lot of this was Roman and Taker working over Shane, and it was great. The turning point of the match was really well done, with Shane making a low bridge to send Roman bumping big over the top. Elias comes out to officially make use of the NHB and interfere, and we get two big Shane spots, putting Taker through an announce table with an elbow, then hitting the coast to coast in the ring. But I think those are the way Shane should be getting offense in, doing your long set up car crashes when you have two actual guys holding down your opponent. This was a smart way to set up Shane moments. The finish stretch is really well laid out, with Taker making his sit up comeback on Shane, but then DREW getting to pop up behind Taker. The camera clearly set up the shot, but it played as a great wrestling visual, something they should get video package use out of. I didn't see Roman's cut off spear coming (and the cameras didn't show it well at all), but I thought this wrapped up really cool. I wasn't expecting to be into this one going in, but I loved the formula and layout worked to perfection, thought it was fun bell to bell. And my god they said "Big Dog" literally a dozen times. Absurd.

The Revival vs. The Usos

ER: This was the match on the card I was most excited about, and they obviously had a good one. What was odd is that the crowd did not care at ALL. I wouldn't think the Taker appearance and match would kill them dead that easily, but it was eerily silent through most of this match. And this match should have gotten a great reaction! This was an exciting tag match! The Revival are a finely tuned machine, love how the set up their double teams, love their shtick, love their pace. They are good foils for Uso offense, scramble out of the way on superkicks and lean in when they need to, always good at stooging into place. We got a couple tandem Usos dives that sprawled out impressively, leading to a cool long section of Revival cutting off the ring. Dawson looked like he was having a ball the whole match, guy is so good. I kept waiting for people to get into it, but they couldn't care less. There weren't a ton of twists, but these teams match up so well you don't really need them, and I thought the finish was satisfying. This was classic tag wrestling, which has been getting great reactions for decades. No idea why the crowd would be so bored so soon. Watch this on mute and it would probably come off like a classic.

Cesaro vs. Aleister Black

ER: This was really damn cool and played like a really fun Big Mouth Loud undercard match. It got time but not too much, and saw Black slowly breaking down Cesaro with kicks to all parts of the body, throwing combos early in the match that set up other combos later in the match. The finish played directly into that with Black throwing a sharp kick to the inner thigh and then going for a high right kick, Cesaro leans in to block the high right and then gets his right temple dented in by Black Mass. Black kicked at shins and inner thighs throughout, and Cesaro was really good at selling cumulative damage in his legs, falling on a lift late in the match in a not overdone way. Cesaro still did plenty of cool Cesaro stuff, dug that big springing uppercut and snug cravate, loved the way he would try to counter Black's kicks, just a cool pairing. Black feels like a guy who could really get over if given the kind of exposure Cesaro got.

Nikki Cross/Alexa Bliss vs. Bayley

ER: I really don't get this kind of handicap match. Bayley doesn't have the kind of offense that can control two people, and nobody wants to see two people just cut off a ring by themselves. Of anything on the card, I am least excited for this. I can't imagine the crowd being won back with a handicap match, either. And this was about as lame as I was expecting. It wasn't long, but it felt too long. None of the spots where Bayley did tandem offense to Bliss/Cross looked good (at one point Bliss basically had to put herself in a headlock), and I couldn't get too into Bliss/Cross teeing off on Bayley because I still don't really understand the Bliss/Cross relationship. There were nice moments: Cross does the Finlay ring skirt trap well, and Bliss threw a nasty dropkick to Bayley while she was trapped in the skirt; Bliss's double knees to the stomach both landed hard (really stuck those moonsault knees), and Bliss hit hard on Bayley's knees doing the twisting moonsault. I just couldn't get into the result of this match. It wasn't going somewhere I was interested in seeing. My overall interested in the women's division has sunk like a rock in a lake these past few months.

Last Man Standing: Bobby Lashley vs. Braun Strowman

ER: We're in Philadelphia, and these guys set out to have a big ECW crowd brawl match, and it was better than a lot of ECW crowd brawling. Fans gave it some obligatory ECW chant (which certainly wasn't a guarantee given how quiet they've been) but two big dudes crashing through walls and taking prop bumps was enough to rouse them. They avoided the "walking and holding heads" kind of ECW brawl, and kept this more about big spills. Braun suplexed Lashley into a merch set up but not through a table, he just vertical suplexed him into a wall and let Lashley fall. Lashley speared him through the ring barricade, both fell over announce tables, they fell into concrete steps, a real nice brawl that could have been next level if they were allowed to bleed. We built to a huge moment where Lashley sprang up to beat a 10 count, leaped up and over the barricade to chase Braun, but then got tossed into the alt. language commentary pit. Lashley's bump into the pit was great, could have been a great capper to a cool match really. They wind up finish with some climbing up to a big mysterious crash pad location, with big comical black plastic gates and a big black box on the lower level that nobody noticed before. The Braun powerslam through it looks cool, and Braun crashes through the front of the box to emerge standing, but I thought it all felt too set up and phony to be effective. Braun sidestepping Lashley into the pit came off more organic.

Big E/Xavier Woods vs. Heavy Machinery vs. Daniel Bryan/Erick Rowan

ER: This was really fun, as you'd expect a match with these guys to be. Otis vs. Bryan is a pairing I really like, and I love how Otis and Tucker work together. The match is filled with cool spots: Rowan's big crossbody on the floor into Bryan's knee off the apron, Otis tossing Bryan into a Tucker belly to belly, Bryan sinking in the LeBell Lock and subsequently tying off all of E's limbs as he would reach for the ropes, E hits his best-in-wrestling standing splash and kills Bryan with the spear to the floor, Otis makes me laugh the whole time with his apron work, Tucker hits a wild plancha to the floor, Otis corgi leaps off the apron, tons of really great stuff. I didn't want to see New Day win the belts. I'm kind of sick of New Day constantly being in the title scene, really felt like this should have been Heavy Machinery's first title win. New Day don't need the belts, they'll be as over as they can possibly be just doing whatever they do. Of the three options, I would have much rather seen Bryan/Rowan retain, or HM win.

AJ Styles vs. Ricochet

ER: This did very little for me. Both guys do cool things, but it all felt pretty empty. Ricochet is obviously a freak athlete but doing silly things like a shooting star clothesline don't really help him. He's more interesting when he's throwing his whole body into attacks (and his springboard to the floor onto Gallows looked good), his big springboard shooting star looked good, but this whole thing was so dry. The middle rope Styles Clash was cool, and the interference while lame was actually well done (Anderson getting kicked from the apron into the ring was a cool moment), but this did next to nothing for me.

Kevin Owens vs. Dolph Ziggler

ER: God bless these men.

Samoa Joe vs. Kofi Kingston

ER: I thought Joe was really awesome here, bullying Kingston around the ring and throwing hard kicks to bully him into corners to attack with fists, then trip him to the ground with kicks. He had a legsweep to Kofi's shins that was so killer. Joe looked like enough of a killer that I immediately wanted this to be a dominant Joe victory. Kofi's reign just means I have to see more Kofi Kingston matches, and the prospect of more Joe matches is way more interesting. I thought Joe crushed Kofi here and this was my favorite Joe performance in some time. Kofi tries to get cute with him at one point and Joe hits a mean uranage. I wanted this to be one of those shocking beatings of a champ, for Joe to walk in and just steamroll Kofi and win the title. Something like that would make a rematch more interesting for me, Kofi going in completely unprepared for Joe, something like that. I thought Joe's beating was strong enough that it was going to make Kofi's inevitable comeback look a little silly, as I've never liked Kofi's offense and don't think it's something that looks great against a guy like Joe. Still, I thought this match delivered overall, just not quite what I wanted it to.

Baron Corbin/Lacey Evans vs. Seth Rollins/Becky Lynch

ER: This was mostly pretty dull, and filled with people I don't really care about. Lynch hasn't been interesting at all, really making her brief period as THE most interesting thing seem like a distant or false memory. First thing I notice her do here is miss a stomach kick by a foot, so she's not exactly inspiring me. It's just a bad sign when there are 4 people in the match and Baron Corbin is the one I like best. Lacey was probably the most interesting during the dull parts of the match, she had the most interesting personality at least. I didn't care about much of this, but the big table spot was genuinely spectacular. Becky just crushes Lacey with a senton/legdrop, Rollins blows up Corbin and a table with a long distance splash. But the finish was legitimately great, a super great finish to something I didn't care about: Baron Corbin absolutely kills Lynch with the end of days. It was really great within the context of the match, as they'd made a big deal the whole damn time about the women staying separate from the men. Corbin annihilates Lynch and it's the first interaction of the match, played so well. And with that, Rollins actually has the most interesting moment of the past calendar year. I thought him snapping and just wasting Corbin with kendo stick shots, chairshots, and three curb stomps was the most actual interesting character he's shown in god knows how long. A heel going too far and immediately being on the business end of a babyface's justified sadistic revenge. It's a great kind of 80s babyface comeback, with the dickhead heel suddenly backpedaling because the babyface was pushed too far. I wouldn't think Rollins could pull that off, but he did, and he did it well. Corbin gets good marks for making the curb stomps look good.

And then BROCK comes out and destroys Rollins! Brock as champ is SO MUCH MORE interesting to me so thank god. I'd much rather see people coming at Brock, Brock defending is something I like (I think more than most people), so hell yeah bring on the challengers to BROCK! I liked how the cash in was handled and do not care how it made Rollins look.

I thought this was a good show that went too damn long. 3 hours is fine for most PPV. 4 hours + a couple matches before that 4 hours is too much. Even if the wrestling is mostly good. But the show had good performances top to bottom. The Graveyard Dogs overdelivered, Revival had their good match, Cesaro/Black stood out as a cool style on this card, tag trios delivered, Braun and Lashley had a good brawl, and the final match ended strong. That's a good show! I just wished it were shorter.

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WWE Clash of the Champions 2017 Live Blog

1. Mojo Rawley vs. Zack Ryder

ER: I liked these two together, more than I'll ever like Ryder on his own, and I guess I'll never really understand their need to break teams up before they really do much with them. If we strung together all the PPV pre-show matches from 2017, you'd wind up with a pretty great 2 hour special. This is another nice showing, with Ryder taking a couple big bumps, getting a nice comeback, and then getting obliterated on the finish. Ryder gets shoved from the top rope to the apron to the floor, taking a mean tumble, then Mojo runs around the ring to awesomely check him into the barricade. Back in and the camera nicely picks up a Mojo big boot with his boot staying on Ryder's face all the way down to the mat. Ryder's comeback is at minimum explosive, even if the cameras zoomed in too hard on his thigh slaps, the impression of impact was at least there. But Mojo's 1-2 finish was really cool, taking out Ryder's knee with a diving block, and then blasting him with that running forearm in the corner. Fun opener, hopefully Mojo doesn't get totally lost.

2. Bobby Roode vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin

ER: Just FYI, it still sounds incredibly stupid when someone bumps over the barricade and someone shouts that they just got knocked "into the WWE Universe!" They got clotheslined over a short wall. Does the WWE Universe only start once we've passed the plane of the barricade? Does nothing happening inside a WWE ring count as part of the WWE Universe? Are the concession stands part of the WWE Universe, since they're beyond the barricade? Is someone urinating in the arena bathroom urinating into the WWE Universe? Does it apply to both people AND places? Is someone buying a WWE t-shirt an example of "The WWE Universe purchasing the WWE Universe within the WWE Universe'? It's beyond the worst. Roode and Ziggler don't match up well, Ziggler leans out of simple things like stomach kicks and then just doesn't connect on his own. But someone (Graves?) just said Ziggler may be the greatest performer in WWE history, so what do I know? I have no clue what actual performance metrics you would have to fudge to even squint and believe that statement. Roode has taken big moves nicely in this, splatting face first on the famouser and getting big height on a spinning slam from Corbin, takes Ziggler's big DDT really nicely. I really liked Corbin trying to vulture Roode's win, only for Roode to throw him to the floor and Corbin breaking up the pin anyway. If I didn't care for him the rest of the match, Ziggler at least made the finish work: Corbin was about to hit End of Days on Roode and Ziggler jumped in at the perfect moment with the Zig Zag, the momentum also slamming Roode tailbone first into the mat to presumably keep him from breaking up the pin. This was fine, crowd was really into it though and that counts for something.

3. Aiden English/Rusev vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable vs. Big E/Kofi Kingston vs. The Usos

ER: Fans are really stoked for Rusev Day, so we got a nice hot crowd tonight, good to hear, and it warms my heart to hear English getting a great reaction. This starts with a pretty great car crash as Kofi gets tossed into a plancha, an Uso hits his big no hands plancha to the other half of the match, and Benjamin launches an Uso with a belly to belly off the top. Kofi eats a great boot and ring post shot courtesy of Rusev after goofing around. Rusev doesn't have time for that nonsense on Rusev Day. I like how English is doing a bunch of solid little things in what most want to be a spotfest: doing nice grounded punches off in the corner of the camera, locking in and wrenching a nice headlock. Don't let the match style conform you. The Texas Tornado style of the match feels a bit to crowded, and it's making half the guys wait to do their spots while the other half does their spots. It's messing up flow. Why is this the match without extra refs? This is kind of a mess even though everyone is working hard. I think Big E might have arguably the best standing splash in wrestling history. It's got the incontestable best height and the impact is great. Kofi springboards into the ring and gets stuck with a great Benjmain powerbomb, and they are freaking killing me with these Rusev/English nearfalls. There were three pins all in a row that looked like they could plausibly win the belts. Come onnnnn. The finishing stretch is flat out GREAT. Rusev and Big E have a great battle over the Accolade, with E almost powering out before Rusev bends him back violently. Gable comes in and hits a tremendous deadlift German on Rusev, just dumping him on his shoulders, then hits a rolling chaos theory on English that dumps him even more violently. We get a sneaky Uso tag as Gable tries for another chaos theory, couple superkicks and a big splash finishes him, straight up fire finish. Awesome stuff.

4. Natalya vs. Charlotte

ER: Alright, and now for nobody's favorite gimmick match! Natalya is a far better heel when she doesn't actually realize she's being a heel. Her acting like a heel is just hammy. She's a much better A-Rod style "heel who doesn't know that she's disliked" heel. Who in wardrobe allowed Carmella and Lana to both wear red swimsuits? Also, Carmella's suit looks like a placeholder for her actual, real gear...except she's been wearing it for months. Tamina continues having the worst gear, it's like they tailored Viscera's old gear and gave it some darting. Charlotte takes a nice awkward bump to the floor, and I liked the bridge up to dodge a baseball slide. Charlotte is good at coming up with cool ways to engage the lumberjacks, really liked Natalya pushing off the figure 4, sending Charlotte flying into a dive on Ruby Riott. Tamina runs point on catching a Charlotte moonsault to the floor, which predictably means that she bumps out of the way before the moonsault hits and 6 women take bumps anyway. Tamina is so bad you guys. She did absorb all of the Naomi springboard, so I guess I shouldn't be so harsh. Thankfully we don't have to endure a Natalya win, and Charlotte worked hard in a difficult gimmick match.

Natalya threatening to leave WWE is like a parent threatening to take their kids broccoli away. "That's it, you keep mouthing off, now I'm giving you another spoonful of mac and cheese and YOU don't get any more broccoli! Actually, why don't you go to your room and play video games and then see how you feel!"

5. Breezango vs. Bludgeon Brothers

ER: I know I just said a few minutes ago that Tamina has the worst gear possible...but my god the Bludgeon Brothers. They look like a Hot Topic was destroyed in a hurricane, and a seamstress assembled their outfits out of found scraps. I have no idea what vibe they're going for. So many studs and zippers and hanging bits and that riveted cummerbund corset awkard tight bits side by side awkward loose bits. And the match is over. A straight match between these two would have been really fun. But, I guess we were running long (no we weren't)?

6. Shinsuke Nakamura/Randy Orton vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

ER: I'm not totally sure who this match concept is supposed to appeal to. This tag match with a normal referee already had a chance to be pretty uninteresting, but jamming two authority figures into it as mildly disagreeing distractions should practically guarantee it's no good. The fans, to their ever loving credit tonight, are into it. Still! They're still excitedly chanting for this show. The great finish to that tag match feels like an hour ago and we haven't accomplished much since then, and they're still chanting for their guys. I like it. Props to Orton for hitting a chinlock literally 10 seconds into the match. Zayn and Owens are also working their share, but they at least are making them look good, with Zayn going after the eyes and nose bridge and Owens making his snug. I'm kind of okay with them cutting the ring off with chinlocks for as long as the crowd can take it. All of Nakamura's kicks to Owens look really good, loved the falling enziguiri as Owens caught a kick to the chest. Bryan and Shane haven't even been very involved in the match itself but man they are so distracting, with the camera purposely keeping them both in frame most of the time. "Triangle!" "Shoulders were down!" means that someone decided to get a Dental Plan/Lisa Needs Braces joke into things, which we were probably all hoping for. My god Shane's facials and movements might officially make him a worst guest ref than Shawn Michaels. I think he's been worse than current Red Shoes in this...but may even be Michaels bad. That's really bad. Boy that finish was really bad. Who could have wanted any of this? I know Orton has been snail slow in his PPV matches the last two years, and this whole match he seemed even slower as everyone had to let this guest ref angle breathe a bit. Woof.

7. Jinder Mahal vs. AJ Styles

ER: I really liked this, and while a lot of it was because of another excellent Styles performance, I thought Mahal worked smart and didn't overreach, thought both worked together to craft an interesting match around each man's strengths. There was also that real fear from a lot of people that Mahal was going to win the title again (while I don't hate Jinder, I also wanted to see AJ hold the belt longer), so the fear and tension on some of the nearfalls was there. Jinder worked over AJ's ribs in simple and effective ways, and AJ made a point of landing in all sorts of nasty ways on his ribs. Styles bumped huge into the timekeeper's area, just about the most painful way you can get into that area. Jinder just worked simple knees and kicks and holds targeting AJ's ribs. The springboard block was great, with Jinder hitting the ropes to knock AJ off, and AJ naturally landing ribs first again. Mahal keeps up the targeted attacks with a big gutbuster and awesome flapjack (Styles takes a flapjack better than maybe anyone), and I liked Styles' comeback Pele kick (with Mahal going for the kill with his cobra clutch slam only off the middle rope). I didn't love the finish with Styles just kicking out of the slam to eventually roll Mahal into the Calf Crusher, but the whole thing built really solidly and I love how serious they're treating the Calf Crusher. I loved when the top guys all had submission finishers in 2003, so I would not mind going back to that. Styles can basically do no wrong at this point.

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