WrestleMania 38 Night One Live Blog 4/2/22

And so, I find myself alone and with nothing at all interesting to do on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, and I feel my brain slowly slipping into actually thinking the writing about WrestleMania in real time is a good idea. I know it's a bad idea, and yet I feel compelled for reasons that are beyond me. I have only seen one WWE show this year (including TV and PPV) and that was Royal Rumble, which was...exactly as bad as most of the Rumbles have been over the past decade or so. I actually thought the men's rumble was fairly salvageable, while the women's rumble was one of the worst things ever put on WWE programming. And so, after watching one bad one one mediocre 60 minute battle royals, my poisoned brain thought that writing about WrestleMania would somehow be a productive use of mine or anyone else's time. I don't know what matches are on this show, I did not watch the pre-show and I have not seen any 2022 WWE TV. All I know is that people whose opinions I trust are not at all excited about this show, and that perversely must have made me more interested. We're all sickos and idiots. Simple as that. 

1. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs vs. The Usos

ER: It is unfathomable that they did not have a single pre-show match while hosting a TWO HOUR pre-show. Injuries and a half dozen DUI have prevented the Usos from teaming up at the past few Manias. The Usos cut Nakamura off from Boogs with some simple kicks and holds (only worthwhile one was Jey's low boot on the apron), then Jimmy and Nakamura are both exhausted 3 minutes in and must build to a hot tag. Boog's axe handle offense should look better, and I think it used to look better. Having Boogs' knee buckle while lifting both Usos is a smart way to take him out of things, and a knee blowing out from lifting too much is far easier to fake than a prolapsed asshole. I'll give the fans huge credit, because they are loud as hell for this match, which would be immediately forgotten minutes after it took place on Smackdown. The Jey superkick while Jimmy was holding Nakamura's hair looked great, and wow this is not a great start to the Grandaddy of Them All. Honestly fucked that the Harder Farmer didn't take Boogs' place once Boogs hurt his knee. 

2. Drew McIntyre vs. Happy Corbin

ER: It's weird being the one guy into Baron Corbin, but I am. Are more people into Corbin now? Do they not like him because he looks like a tall athletic Colin Robinson? I like the way Corbin and Drew move around each other. They're similar size and have a couple similar movements, except one is dressed like Waylon Mercy had Waylon Mercy worked at a Fire Island gift shop. I like Corbin's overhand rights, but liked a little underhand punch he threw a couple times even more. I don't know if I've seen him throw that punch really, but obviously I'm going to support guys adding new punches to their matches. They're the same size, but the match is clearly being worked with Corbin as the heavyweight and McIntyre as the 2000s Edge-style cruiserweight who people don't seem to realize is 6'4. Drew is out here taking the Mysterio bump into the guardrail and hitting a running swanton into Corbin and Moss, missing his running dropkick when Corbin ducks out of the way. Corbin is the one throwing big punches and going for big slams, Drew is the one constantly leaving his feet. Asskicker Drew is better than 260 lb. Finn Balor Offense Drew, but I thought Corbin did a great job pushing the pace of this and setting up Drew's big misses and leaning into his hits. This was good, but underwhelming for WrestleMania. 

3. Rey & Dominik Mysterio vs. Logan Paul/The Miz

PAS: Dominik Mysterio wearing the Gringo Locos gear as a tribute to his real dad.

ER: Dominik's gear is incredible, the first actual good ring gear of his career...and Logan Paul goes and one-ups him by wearing the million dollar Pikachu around his neck. Can't help but dig a guy who clearly gets it. I liked Paul's big leapfrogs and dropdown splits, but Bad Bunny didn't flinch on strikes in his match and you can't lean out of a Rey kick. Rey's not going to be the one who stiffs you man, you gotta stay in to the end. I love Rey's little ashy gray goatee poking out of his mask, and I love Paul committing to the running powerslam even more. Brother held on for dear life and followed it through. I wish someone had clued Paul into Kawada kicks, because Paul in the black and yellow doing trolling little kicks to the forehead would be a perfect bit of offense for him. I liked Paul's Blockbuster and his bump off the apron, and after I was ready to tease him after he flinched, he's tightened everything up since that flinch. There will be a handful of wrestlers on this show whose work doesn't look as good as Paul's (with Boogs already arguably one of them). Miz put a bunch of extra flash into Mysterio's great swinging DDT, and then showed he is the bigger man by doing the Three Amigos as tribute to Dominik's real dad. I'm fully on Team Paul when he does the Three Amigos and then does the shoulder shimmy up top before hitting a very good frog splash, but then he sets up Rey's 619 as well as anyone since mid 2000s Chavo with a great missed clothesline stumble. I thought this was pretty great. Everyone was on and the layout let everyone shine. Everyone knew when to hang back and when to take the moment, and it just coming together and building. Constant smile on my face during this one. 

4. Biance Belair vs. Becky Lynch

ER: Texas Southern marching band doing Belair's entrance is so damn cool, and I loved the big brass touches they added as accompaniment to her theme. Once they started enhancing the existing them and not just playing a marching band version, it was next level. I don't know if this is a hot take or not, but Becky's chopped mullet looks so much better than that shitty Mad Max pompadour that has covered wrestling like a foul stench. I am a mark because I fully bit on the 10 second finish. They did it before, it wouldn't be shocking for them to do it again! The longer the match goes the more I love Becky's look. She looks like she'd be at a club in Liquid Sky. Her suplexes look fine, but the rope drape legdrop needs some work. I appreciate that this thing isn't 50-50 reversals of reversals, but I think Becky was in control for way too long and Bianca is far more impressive on offense than when she's selling. It's really weird that they are not letting Bianca do anything powerful. Becky not only gets to do all of the offense, but she also gets to slip out of every piece of Belair offense. When I finally think Becky is going to be planted with a powerbomb, it gets reversed. Belair's 450 looks so much cooler with the braid, but Becky Lynch coming up way short on the Molly Go Round and axe kicking Bianca in the face looked even better. Once the Manhandle Slam (ugh) happening on the steps I again bought into that false finish, thinking they could plausibly do a count out finish and even getting me to think that they would have put this as the main event if they were actually doing a title change. So, they got me to fully bite on two different false finishes, and that has to mean it's a good match. It shows they fully understand the story they're selling and know how to play off of fan expectations, and that's awesome. I still think there were ways to give Bianca more during the match as I don't think Lynch needed 15+ minutes of control just because she was losing the belt, but I cannot argue that the match was a success. 

5. Seth Rollins vs. Cody Rhodes

I can't say I'm very excited for this match, but I'm sincerely happy for the people who wanted Cody. I was a big fan of In the Weeds AEW era Cody, a guy who was no longer really had a role in the company he helped found, an interesting take on the played out shades of gray character as he actually felt like a real shades of gray person. But Cody Rhodes in the WWE doesn't sound interesting in any way to me, it takes all of the edge away from that weird character he was leaning into. But I will give all the credit in the world to Cody, because I don't think that anyone could have predicted that he would ever be getting this kind of Stadium show WrestleMania reaction even 5 years ago. I don't know the program that pairs these two up, and I don't understand Rollins' Epic Bacon Dalton Castle gimmick but we'll give it a shot. The vertical suplex to the floor was a great sprawling Cody bump, and it feels like they're making their small scale stuff a bit more upscaled for the stadium, and that's cool. I don't know if the match itself is grabbing me, but Rollins had bigger chops and a harder back elbow than normal and Cody's armlocks looked good, Rollins flies 20 feet over a table off an okay Cody tope, etc. The pinfall trading and strike reversals mostly looked bad, but at its core this was a Seth Rollins vs. Seth Rollins match and I couldn't vibe with it even with the crowd so loudly behind Cody. The move trading doesn't work for me, the bad Rollins Kings Road Tribute strikes don't work for me, but I do like that Cody understands internal WWE match logic of Invoking Legend Offense To Set Up Finisher is a surefire victory. I never would have guessed Cody would be getting among the loudest reactions at a WrestleMania, and I don't see how he can maintain this level of intrigue while in WWE, but for now people got what they wanted. 

6. Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte

ER: I'm not sure why I'm not more excited for comeback Ronda. She was one of my favorite things in pro wrestling during her initial run so maybe she just has some of the stink from that brutal Royal Rumble on her. Charlotte needs to throws a tighter back elbow. It's Ronda Rousey Charlotte, you can work like an asshole. The grappling was good and I like how Ronda rag dolled Charlotte on a couple of takedowns and tied her up in the ropes, but also took a cool flipping back bump to the floor when Charlotte reversed her. Charlotte responds to my note about her back elbow by walloping the entire side of Ronda's head with head arm and elbow, then runs face first into a Ronda kneelift. Weirdly, Rousey feels more like a rookie wrestler now than she did in 2018, and this whole thing is becoming a weird piece of theater. I don't know which page they are supposed to be on, I don't know who is messing up what, but it's kind of making the match more compelling? Charlotte's moonsault looks bad enough on its own, she doesn't need someone fucking up her timing. This is super disjointed and would be better if Charlotte got unprofessional, but it's staying a bit too genial. I said that it was too genial right as they stated kicking each other in the mouth on the mat. The end stretch was fine, the figure 8 and breaking of the figure 8 looked cool, but this match never threatened to be anywhere near as good as their Survivor Series 2018 match. Rousey was having great singles matches with every woman on the roster in 2018, and based on her big match performances in 2022 I just don't think that's a thing that's going to be happening this time around. 

7. Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Kevin Owens

ER: I can't believe they're actually giving us a wrestling match. I can't believe Stone Cold Steve Austin is coming back after like 20 years away and he's going to have a t-shirt and shorts match against Kevin Owens of all people. I will stop waiting for Austin to rip the shirt off, or tear the jorts off to reveal the black trunks underneath, but my only real base level hope for this is that it isn't anywhere near as depressing as the Bret/Vince match. The throwback Austin stuff in the ring certainly looked like a guy in his 50s who hadn't wrestled in a couple decades working through some of his classic mannerisms at a convention show. What I was not expecting, was this match suddenly getting great when they move it to the floor. Owens is game for taking big bumps around ringside, but I was actually shocked when Austin took a massive bump into the ringpost. I mean I was not expecting Steve Austin to wrestle, let alone take actual peak era Austin bumps, so this is insane. The crowd brawl was really good and Owens was so good at stumbling and tumbling his way down aisles at the perfect pace for Austin to follow along punching him. Good rhythm. Austin is one of my favorite wrestlers of all time, and no part of me would have predicted a few hours ago that I'd be seeing him take a vertical suplex onto concrete tonight. What a madman. This guy had a cool thing going by being the guy who never came back to give Hogan - or anyone - their dream match, and who knows maybe he sees Sting doing an insane balcony dive and goes "Hell Stone Cold Steve Austin can take a stupid bump on concrete". Owens is good a bumping down the long entrance ramp and Austin looks like he's having a great time out there, and I'm happy they're delivering much more than they needed to. I bet plenty of people would be happy just seeing a Stunner, so I imagine they are ecstatic seeing an actual Stone Cold brawl. Owens re-signs and main events WrestleMania with the biggest white whale retired wrestler in history, and my hat is off to WWE for actually giving a stadium of people a show filled with actual moments that they wanted, not ones that WWE wanted them to want. 

2022 MOTY MASTER LIST

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Eric's WWE Survivor Series Live Blog 11/21/21

ER: Gotta say, it's pretty difficult to find much interest in WWE's programming these days. These constant roster cuts have turned things into the worst possible Oakland Athletics team, where any single one of my favorite wrestlers to watch could be pushed on one program and then released the next day. WWE hasn't been paying off storylines for a long time, making that aspect of their product completely pointless to follow, but still had a roster with a ton of people capable of great matches on any given night. But no wrestler allowed to get past a certain level of popularity, combined with my favorites to watch being on the chopping block every day, and absolutely terrible direction  - the biggest wrestling promotion in history has been presenting the literal worst visual wrestling presentation for several years now - has made this a nearly impossible promotion to get behind and enjoy. I know next to nothing about this card, but I have a tragically boring Sunday afternoon with a sudden hole in it so let's see if they give us something worth showing interest in. 

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Damian Priest

ER: This was at its best during the first half, before the part of the Damian Priest match where every exchange became a reversal of a sloppily thrown spin kick. I like Damian Priest when he throws strikes intended to land; I hate Damian Priest when he throws a strike intended to set up an opponent's strike, which is then thrown to set up Damian Priest's strike. This match was a 50-50 blend of those two Priests, and it kept things from being as good as they could have been. Nakamura isn't without flaw, but it's tough to not look like you're messing things up when you're forced to wait in place for someone's in-ring springboard axe handle reversal. Long story short: The parts where they hit each other were fun, the parts where they missed each other were dumb. 

I am so sick of seeing The Rock in every piece of media. I have had my official fill of The Rock. You gave us Rampage and we will always have that but I am tired of seeing The Rock be The Rock in things. 

Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

ER: Regardless of how much I don't love this specific kind of match build, where both people just come off like unlikeable smarmy assholes and the heel is the one who I guess is more of an asshole, we can all agree that Becky Lynch's Toxic tribute ring gear is perhaps her greatest all time look. That's a look that feels more important than a match with an uneven worked shoot build. The two people in the ring couldn't back up the build even if the energy felt there at times. Energy can be enough to turn something like this great, but it needed to be done without Charlotte's canned ham. You needed more shit like Becky ripping out a bit of Charlotte's hair to prevent a figure 4 reversal, and less of Charlotte doing Andrade tribute offense that makes her look like George Costanza running through pigeons. Charlotte looks like a total klutz who can't hit the broad side of a barn, and after every Lynch kickout you never know where the Al Pacino overacting dial is going to land. Charlotte has the gift of making it really obvious when she is maneuvering into position for offense, while also being really bad about being in place for offense. The moonsaults looked as bad as ever, and doing a bunch of handspring moonsaults that don't connect in the middle of a worked shoot atmosphere is just the stupidest kind of energy. Bad finish that doesn't resolve anything doesn't do anyone any favors, and surely guarantees more of the exact same build to another similar match. 

Bobby Lashley/Austin Theory/Finn Balor/Kevin Owens/Seth Rollins vs. Xavier Woods/Jeff Hardy/Sheamus/Baron Corbin/Drew McIntyre

ER: When the rosters of two different TV shows have been pointlessly churned with seemingly no communication to talent, it's a bit much to sell a 5 on 5 match expressly under the banner of Brand Bragging Rights. I could not imagine caring less about a team from Smackdown beating a team from Raw, and if there are fanbases of people who have allegiances to either Raw or Smackdown but not both, then I cannot imagine that will ever be me. Best to watch a match like this as a match randomly generated by your AKI engine, since WWE's roster at this point has the consistency of me frequently erasing wrestlers and making new CAWs in No Mercy. And as a low stakes 10 man elimination match, it settles into a very fun match very quickly. Corbin was the early standout, loved his big right hands and how good he is at creating openings and setting up spots for Balor. Woods drops a great leaping fistdrop, Sheamus runs in with a leaping knee, Drew runs in with a kick, it's a cool team working in a good rhythm. These matches are about rhythm and if everyone keeps it reasonably well, it is automatically good. You just need them to be as well oiled as any All Japan Senior Circuit trios match. 

Balor sticks Corbin with the double stomp which looked good, but a shame because Corbin was the guy here who best knew how to tie this into an Actual Match. Austin Theory is someone I enjoyed in his NXT role, who feels completely fish out of water in this match. I buy him on NXT. I do not yet buy him moving Sheamus. With Corbin gone, we quickly wind into Drew/Lashley. Now, I think McIntyre and Lashley are two of the better guys in current WWE, but for the past couple years it has felt like EVERY match has come down to Lashley vs. McIntyre. It is a good pairing that also makes me feel like I'm trapped in time. Still, give me all of Bobby Lashley's big ass backdrop bump from the crowd to ringside. I think the steam gets taken out of this way too early and then continues too long after. Once it settled down to a Rollins/Theory vs. Sheamus/Hardy tag if felt like a house show tag between guys who don't know how to work a good house show tag. I will hoover up the slop on any random WWF house show handheld from the early 90s, but is there anyone out there who would get excited to watch a Sheamus/Hardy vs. Rollins/Theory handheld? This went on too long for what it overall accomplished, and I think it was a mistake to make this seem like a long epic instead of a quick paced showcase. Nobody could look at this match and think it makes for a useful Brand Showcase, and if a Brand Supremacy match can't do that then what did it really do? 

Vince needs to do more eccentric unhinged billionaire stuff like silently pantomime with a golden egg, because what the fuck else would we need from him at this point? 

This Brand Battle Royal is not a serious match and doesn't need to be considered as one. This is a Pizza Hut commercial and not a battle royal, and we don't need to act like this matters and that Colored T-Shirt Wrestling isn't one of the stupider features of modern WWE Survivor Series. 

The Usos vs. Randy Orton/Matt Riddle

ER: A not bad tag that relies on the strong timing of Randy Orton and Jey Uso. Riddle has been having a tough to watch year, with some of the worst vignettes and listless in-ring. We all get in ruts and his rut has been difficult to see so frequently this year. But it's fairly effective have him sell, run into nicely timed Jey Uso superkicks, and make dumb faces until making the big hot tag to Orton. Orton has always been a strong apron guy and he's been utilizing his apron work well in this tag team. Apron work is one of those skills that will keep on aging wrestler's floor high with me, and I like how Orton keeps leaning on it as a strength. He's good at tossing Usos around and hitting snap powerslams, and his RKO on the Jey superfly splash looked like a great finish. This match benefitted from its lackluster surroundings, but still earned enough of its status as "the best this show has given us".

Bianca Belair/Carmella/Liv Morgan/Rhea Ripley/Zelina Vega vs. Sasha Banks/Shayna Baszler/Toni Storm/Shotzi Blackheart/Natalya 

ER: I like how this looks on paper, this looks like a match I want to see! The women all have blue/red-accented gear is such a better look than the t-shirts. This looks like a real joshi final battle where everyone is taking this seriously. Guys wrestling in red t-shirts look like employees participating in a mandatory 5K.  The pace of this match is much better than the pace of the men's match. It's a shame Carmella went out so early, but Natalya did that weird thing where she memorably shows up in a match with 10 people, and I liked Baszler rolling on the mat with Ripley. The match was already the most fun of the night when we got to the great Sasha/Bianca section. WrestleMania feels like an eternity ago but their match was the best WWE match of this year and their in-ring chemistry still has a lot to offer. When they're in the ring together they really feel like the two biggest stars in the company, the two closest to being chopped down, and there are few people who actually feel like stars when I watch them. Bianca's kip-ups look punched with confidence and Sasha is able to convey the same kind of "can you believe this shit?" attitude Charlotte shouts to the back row but using only her eyes. 

Sadly, we hit a bad patch right after those two megastars made the crowd sit up and pay attention, with some quick eliminations and suddenly several women all lying dead around the ringside area selling mystery injuries. This isn't a ladder match, why are they all suddenly doing ladder match disappearance selling? A few dumb do-si-do moments on the floor lead to a Sasha count out in completely unsatisfying fashion, and the way Bianca goes from being down 4-1 to eliminating Baszler and Shotzi felt forced and cheap. The disappearance selling takes away a lot of the charm of a charismatic Survivor Series match, a series that can benefit from apron work. These women get so out of sight while selling nothing that you forget who is even still in the match! You could have made Belair look really really good while also having her plausibly fight off Shotzi and Baszler, but this felt like suddenly everybody had to be somewhere and it killed the buzz. 

Big E vs. Roman Reigns

ER: I think this was a good match, but these Roman matches have really become the blown out 150 minute MCU epic instead of the tight 90 minute action and stunts movies that he could be having. This was a long show, filled with long matches that mostly didn't deliver, and you need to be better at reading the arena than this main event was. This was a cold, tired crowd and that did not lead to any kind of pace being pushes AT ALL. That said, Roman did his specific thing that - love it or hate it - did turn a dead silent crowd into a slightly more involved crowd the longer he stuck to his routine, and there's some respect there. In its favor, even though the melodrama of them getting to the action was at times too much, when the action was gotten to it looked like a well done Godzilla/Mothra collision. Big E took some hard bumps for Roman's biggest stuff, and that uranage on the shoulders looked deadly. Roman's punches all looked big and the deadlift powerbomb was impressive. I wish we could have made this more of an unpredictable Brock bombfest and gotten out of here quicker, but they made the good stuff look good and that stands out on this show. 

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2020 Ongoing MOTY List: Two Pre-Pandemic Smackdown Gems

24. Roman Reigns/The Usos vs. Baron Corbin/Robert Roode/Dolph Ziggler WWE Smackdown 1/31

ER: Super hot Friday night main event, with a Loser Eats Dog Food stipulation straight out of late 80s Memphis, enforced and hyped to a hilarious degree. A ridiculous stip taken seriously, a gigantic chili pot full of fake dog food, and Michael Cole on commentary putting over how horrific the dog food smells from ringside. It's a silly thing that they've been giving time to, and then the six men involved go out and have a seriously great territory style showdown, filled with excellent nearfalls and effective twists in momentum. The match was worked like a super professional crowd pleasing house show main event, with Roman really coming off like prime Cena. He was hitting big dramatic uppercuts, big leaping clotheslines, dodging Corbin's attacks and hitting his own while he got gigantic babyface crowd reactions for everything. Usos were pinballs and cannonballs, taking big bumps to the floor, one of them ate a spinebuster on the floor from Roode, Ziggler stayed out of things only to run in with occasional nice punches or a big bump off the apron, Roode had a bunch of great apron work, Usos hit a pair of dives that sent Roode and Ziggler flying dramatically over the announce tables, all of it played to maximum crowd effect. Roman had a couple of great nearfall kickouts, really milking a close count for peak drama, a huge Corbin spinning slam looking like a plausible ending. The layout was great, total hot match from bell to bell, with a kid humor level mid 90s feeling post match vibe. All of it worked for me.

PAS: I really enjoyed this, Eric hit the nail on the head by calling it an entertaining house show main event, which is a great match style. Ziggler as a guy who just runs in to get bumped to the floor is a perfect use of him, and Roode hit his big spinebuster on the floor which is great spot and one good spot is a great use of him. I thought Roman's timing in this ruled, he was such a good babyface worker, and new just when to land a big move or give the heels a moment. The Uso dives on to the floor were both cool too, just cleaned out the heels for the babyface to finish him off. I also loved the roll up, such a different way to end a match. The current WWE is so antiseptic and overproduced, it is cool to watch something so pro-wrestling.

40. Bayley vs. Carmella WWE Smackdown 2/14/20

ER: WWE is quietly delivering some really high end women's wrestling right under our noses this year, with a great Asuka/Natalya match early this month, and now this surprisingly great show opening title match. Just like Asuka/Natalya, this was worked unexpectedly snug, and that really elevates a match like this. This was worked like an important title match, and the fans picked up on that quickly as their reactions kept getting more and more live-or-die as the match went on. The match drew the crowd strongly enough that the crowd didn't feel the need to chant dumb stuff, they just kept reacting louder and louder to nearfalls and close victories. This was the best Carmella match I can remember, and a strong champ performance from Bayley. Both of them leaned into each other's strikes, and I really snapped up and took notice when Bayley gave a hard shove to Carmella's head and bounced it off the bottom rope. But both of them were running face first into boots, and they were setting up bigger moves with stiff shots. 

I loved when Carmella posted up in the corner to push a hard kick into Bayley's face, before hitting a rana. Carmella hit a big tope that landed most of her body on Bayley, and Bayley paid her back by trying to snap her in half with a hotshot into the announce table. The hotshot is a great move that really looks savage when you have two people like this taking it seriously. The nearfalls they built to were really strong, with the crowd reactions really ramping up when Carmella kicked out of the Bayley to Belly. The years WWE spent ending matches quickly with school boys or small packages have learned my behaviors and I always react to well done backslides or roll ups, and the crowd really buying them made me get even more into it. Carmella's great headscissor submission looked like something trippy that Negro Navarro has broken out, and I flipped out when Bayley knocked Carmella's posting arm out from under her to break it. When Carmella locked it in again moments later I thought for sure we were getting a shock title change, but Bayley got her feet on the ropes with a champ's desperate intensity to save her belt.

PAS: I may have never watched Carmella wrestle before, and without that context, I thought she looked pretty green for someone who has been wrestling for a while. This was a great Bayley carry job though, it felt like she was aware of every thing Carmella could do competently and was going to build around those spots. Sometimes it felt like Bayley was rolling up her self. It was a great rudo performance by her, down to the little tricks like hiding behind the ref to sneak in a shot. I thought this was borderline for most of the match, until that finish run, the Carmella submission was awesome looking and that counter where Bayley knocked out the base arm is the kind of little clever counter I absolutely love, and you don't see nearly enough of these days. That did it for me. 

2020 MOTY MASTER LIST

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WWE Extreme Rules 7/14/19 Blog

Jeeeez these things start earlier and earlier. Are 4 PM starts the norm now? They always catch me off guard. I dig Beth Phoenix's new haircut, though it feels like they're doing that thing where they make her look like Renee Young, as they made Michael Cole look like Todd Pettengill.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Finn Balor

ER: Feels like there will be people upset that these two are on the pre-show, in a title match no less, but these are not concerns that I share. I prefer when the pre-show matches are guys who typically wind up on 205 Live or Main Event, as it plays like a fun 8 minute try out match at that point and they usually deliver. This just feels like a couple of established guys slumming it. I'm pretty certain that every single strike Balor threw landed about 6" to the side of Nakamura. Pele kick? Somewhere over Shinsuke's shoulder. Kick from the apron? somewhere past Shinsuke's head. Balor's cut off double stomp looked good, and Nakamura's two finishing shots looked good (knee to the back of the head looked great and then kinshasa was a good follow up), but I didn't really expect them to change the title in such a vanilla match. This felt like the touring 6 minute match these two would have around the circuit, felt very going through the motions.

Tony Nese vs. Drew Gulak

ER: Early on we get a "Let's Go Gulak" chant which is an awesome surprise. If Gulak actually starts to get over the same way Bryan got over earlier in the decade, how great will that be?? This is kind of what anybody could have expected going in: Gulak looked great, Nese did not, but Nese tried some things that worked in a stupid risk taking way. Nese has that "hey Evan Karagias is getting better" vibe to him, but he doesn't actually have babyface charisma. He does things that some fans should find cool, but Gulak is the one getting the reactions here. YES, obviously this is being held right in Gulak's stomping grounds, but that isn't a guarantee to get a great reaction and he got them throughout. Nese did a wild moonsault to the floor, hitting Gulak who was tied up in the ropes over the apron; it didn't really work, but I like him going for stupid stuff. He also overshoots a 450 and slams those knees right into Gulak's ribs, throws him messily into the corner with a german suplex, basically the nastiest parts of Nese's attack were kind of accidents. Gulak threw great kicks, and I think his reactions are going to keep getting louder, and they'll eventually babyface him. Early in the match Gulak hit an awesome diving clothesline off the apron (hard to make diving clotheslines look good) and his folding powerbomb looked great and would make a fine finisher, but I love the old school style of his spinning back suplex. Gulak is here baby!

No Holds Barred: Shane McMahon/Drew McIntyre vs. Roman Reigns/Undertaker

ER: Starting off the show with this one! And you know what? I thought it was awesome. I was hooked in throughout, feeling it the whole time. The NHB stip is mostly wasted as this was worked about as straight as you can work a tag match (until 12+ minutes in), but they worked a damn successful tag formula. The key was Shane actually treated the way Shane *should* be treated in the ring. Shane is never portrayed as an equal, he comes in with his stupid little punches, and then gets absolutely manhandled. That's what should be happening. Undertaker never once treated him seriously, which thank fucking god. Reigns was throwing big uppercuts to Shane, and Undertaker is full crazy old man. I gotta respect the guy. He got dropped his head by Goldberg not even a couple months ago and here he is, breaking out the greatest hits, dropping a big leg on the apron, throwing big boots, looking like The Undertaker. McIntyre hits a huge overhead belly to belly on Roman and he gets a cool showdown with Taker (McIntyre appeared to be taller than Taker at this point), but a lot of this was Roman and Taker working over Shane, and it was great. The turning point of the match was really well done, with Shane making a low bridge to send Roman bumping big over the top. Elias comes out to officially make use of the NHB and interfere, and we get two big Shane spots, putting Taker through an announce table with an elbow, then hitting the coast to coast in the ring. But I think those are the way Shane should be getting offense in, doing your long set up car crashes when you have two actual guys holding down your opponent. This was a smart way to set up Shane moments. The finish stretch is really well laid out, with Taker making his sit up comeback on Shane, but then DREW getting to pop up behind Taker. The camera clearly set up the shot, but it played as a great wrestling visual, something they should get video package use out of. I didn't see Roman's cut off spear coming (and the cameras didn't show it well at all), but I thought this wrapped up really cool. I wasn't expecting to be into this one going in, but I loved the formula and layout worked to perfection, thought it was fun bell to bell. And my god they said "Big Dog" literally a dozen times. Absurd.

The Revival vs. The Usos

ER: This was the match on the card I was most excited about, and they obviously had a good one. What was odd is that the crowd did not care at ALL. I wouldn't think the Taker appearance and match would kill them dead that easily, but it was eerily silent through most of this match. And this match should have gotten a great reaction! This was an exciting tag match! The Revival are a finely tuned machine, love how the set up their double teams, love their shtick, love their pace. They are good foils for Uso offense, scramble out of the way on superkicks and lean in when they need to, always good at stooging into place. We got a couple tandem Usos dives that sprawled out impressively, leading to a cool long section of Revival cutting off the ring. Dawson looked like he was having a ball the whole match, guy is so good. I kept waiting for people to get into it, but they couldn't care less. There weren't a ton of twists, but these teams match up so well you don't really need them, and I thought the finish was satisfying. This was classic tag wrestling, which has been getting great reactions for decades. No idea why the crowd would be so bored so soon. Watch this on mute and it would probably come off like a classic.

Cesaro vs. Aleister Black

ER: This was really damn cool and played like a really fun Big Mouth Loud undercard match. It got time but not too much, and saw Black slowly breaking down Cesaro with kicks to all parts of the body, throwing combos early in the match that set up other combos later in the match. The finish played directly into that with Black throwing a sharp kick to the inner thigh and then going for a high right kick, Cesaro leans in to block the high right and then gets his right temple dented in by Black Mass. Black kicked at shins and inner thighs throughout, and Cesaro was really good at selling cumulative damage in his legs, falling on a lift late in the match in a not overdone way. Cesaro still did plenty of cool Cesaro stuff, dug that big springing uppercut and snug cravate, loved the way he would try to counter Black's kicks, just a cool pairing. Black feels like a guy who could really get over if given the kind of exposure Cesaro got.

Nikki Cross/Alexa Bliss vs. Bayley

ER: I really don't get this kind of handicap match. Bayley doesn't have the kind of offense that can control two people, and nobody wants to see two people just cut off a ring by themselves. Of anything on the card, I am least excited for this. I can't imagine the crowd being won back with a handicap match, either. And this was about as lame as I was expecting. It wasn't long, but it felt too long. None of the spots where Bayley did tandem offense to Bliss/Cross looked good (at one point Bliss basically had to put herself in a headlock), and I couldn't get too into Bliss/Cross teeing off on Bayley because I still don't really understand the Bliss/Cross relationship. There were nice moments: Cross does the Finlay ring skirt trap well, and Bliss threw a nasty dropkick to Bayley while she was trapped in the skirt; Bliss's double knees to the stomach both landed hard (really stuck those moonsault knees), and Bliss hit hard on Bayley's knees doing the twisting moonsault. I just couldn't get into the result of this match. It wasn't going somewhere I was interested in seeing. My overall interested in the women's division has sunk like a rock in a lake these past few months.

Last Man Standing: Bobby Lashley vs. Braun Strowman

ER: We're in Philadelphia, and these guys set out to have a big ECW crowd brawl match, and it was better than a lot of ECW crowd brawling. Fans gave it some obligatory ECW chant (which certainly wasn't a guarantee given how quiet they've been) but two big dudes crashing through walls and taking prop bumps was enough to rouse them. They avoided the "walking and holding heads" kind of ECW brawl, and kept this more about big spills. Braun suplexed Lashley into a merch set up but not through a table, he just vertical suplexed him into a wall and let Lashley fall. Lashley speared him through the ring barricade, both fell over announce tables, they fell into concrete steps, a real nice brawl that could have been next level if they were allowed to bleed. We built to a huge moment where Lashley sprang up to beat a 10 count, leaped up and over the barricade to chase Braun, but then got tossed into the alt. language commentary pit. Lashley's bump into the pit was great, could have been a great capper to a cool match really. They wind up finish with some climbing up to a big mysterious crash pad location, with big comical black plastic gates and a big black box on the lower level that nobody noticed before. The Braun powerslam through it looks cool, and Braun crashes through the front of the box to emerge standing, but I thought it all felt too set up and phony to be effective. Braun sidestepping Lashley into the pit came off more organic.

Big E/Xavier Woods vs. Heavy Machinery vs. Daniel Bryan/Erick Rowan

ER: This was really fun, as you'd expect a match with these guys to be. Otis vs. Bryan is a pairing I really like, and I love how Otis and Tucker work together. The match is filled with cool spots: Rowan's big crossbody on the floor into Bryan's knee off the apron, Otis tossing Bryan into a Tucker belly to belly, Bryan sinking in the LeBell Lock and subsequently tying off all of E's limbs as he would reach for the ropes, E hits his best-in-wrestling standing splash and kills Bryan with the spear to the floor, Otis makes me laugh the whole time with his apron work, Tucker hits a wild plancha to the floor, Otis corgi leaps off the apron, tons of really great stuff. I didn't want to see New Day win the belts. I'm kind of sick of New Day constantly being in the title scene, really felt like this should have been Heavy Machinery's first title win. New Day don't need the belts, they'll be as over as they can possibly be just doing whatever they do. Of the three options, I would have much rather seen Bryan/Rowan retain, or HM win.

AJ Styles vs. Ricochet

ER: This did very little for me. Both guys do cool things, but it all felt pretty empty. Ricochet is obviously a freak athlete but doing silly things like a shooting star clothesline don't really help him. He's more interesting when he's throwing his whole body into attacks (and his springboard to the floor onto Gallows looked good), his big springboard shooting star looked good, but this whole thing was so dry. The middle rope Styles Clash was cool, and the interference while lame was actually well done (Anderson getting kicked from the apron into the ring was a cool moment), but this did next to nothing for me.

Kevin Owens vs. Dolph Ziggler

ER: God bless these men.

Samoa Joe vs. Kofi Kingston

ER: I thought Joe was really awesome here, bullying Kingston around the ring and throwing hard kicks to bully him into corners to attack with fists, then trip him to the ground with kicks. He had a legsweep to Kofi's shins that was so killer. Joe looked like enough of a killer that I immediately wanted this to be a dominant Joe victory. Kofi's reign just means I have to see more Kofi Kingston matches, and the prospect of more Joe matches is way more interesting. I thought Joe crushed Kofi here and this was my favorite Joe performance in some time. Kofi tries to get cute with him at one point and Joe hits a mean uranage. I wanted this to be one of those shocking beatings of a champ, for Joe to walk in and just steamroll Kofi and win the title. Something like that would make a rematch more interesting for me, Kofi going in completely unprepared for Joe, something like that. I thought Joe's beating was strong enough that it was going to make Kofi's inevitable comeback look a little silly, as I've never liked Kofi's offense and don't think it's something that looks great against a guy like Joe. Still, I thought this match delivered overall, just not quite what I wanted it to.

Baron Corbin/Lacey Evans vs. Seth Rollins/Becky Lynch

ER: This was mostly pretty dull, and filled with people I don't really care about. Lynch hasn't been interesting at all, really making her brief period as THE most interesting thing seem like a distant or false memory. First thing I notice her do here is miss a stomach kick by a foot, so she's not exactly inspiring me. It's just a bad sign when there are 4 people in the match and Baron Corbin is the one I like best. Lacey was probably the most interesting during the dull parts of the match, she had the most interesting personality at least. I didn't care about much of this, but the big table spot was genuinely spectacular. Becky just crushes Lacey with a senton/legdrop, Rollins blows up Corbin and a table with a long distance splash. But the finish was legitimately great, a super great finish to something I didn't care about: Baron Corbin absolutely kills Lynch with the end of days. It was really great within the context of the match, as they'd made a big deal the whole damn time about the women staying separate from the men. Corbin annihilates Lynch and it's the first interaction of the match, played so well. And with that, Rollins actually has the most interesting moment of the past calendar year. I thought him snapping and just wasting Corbin with kendo stick shots, chairshots, and three curb stomps was the most actual interesting character he's shown in god knows how long. A heel going too far and immediately being on the business end of a babyface's justified sadistic revenge. It's a great kind of 80s babyface comeback, with the dickhead heel suddenly backpedaling because the babyface was pushed too far. I wouldn't think Rollins could pull that off, but he did, and he did it well. Corbin gets good marks for making the curb stomps look good.

And then BROCK comes out and destroys Rollins! Brock as champ is SO MUCH MORE interesting to me so thank god. I'd much rather see people coming at Brock, Brock defending is something I like (I think more than most people), so hell yeah bring on the challengers to BROCK! I liked how the cash in was handled and do not care how it made Rollins look.

I thought this was a good show that went too damn long. 3 hours is fine for most PPV. 4 hours + a couple matches before that 4 hours is too much. Even if the wrestling is mostly good. But the show had good performances top to bottom. The Graveyard Dogs overdelivered, Revival had their good match, Cesaro/Black stood out as a cool style on this card, tag trios delivered, Braun and Lashley had a good brawl, and the final match ended strong. That's a good show! I just wished it were shorter.

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WWE Fastlane 3/10/19 Adjacent-to-Live Blog

Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev vs. New Day

ER: Lana's got a cool new shoulder length 'do, though it's styled a bit too triangularly. This is kicking off the pre-show, and was treated as such when it got the smaller square of screen during a Roman Reigns promo vid, and the smaller screen on a cutaway to Miz talking with his dad and Shane. Rusev and Nak cut off Wood's tag to Big E well enough, but nothing flashy or very interesting. This feels like a house show match, without the charm of a house show match. Rusev and Nak are complementary partners, but they don't do a ton more than stop action here and Nak just always seems lethargic. I liked Woods' missile dropkick off the top, and Big E has the greatest standing splash in pro wrestling history, with no close contenders coming to mind. Finishing stretch gets betters when some interference from Lana adds intrigue to a nearfall, and both Rusev and Nak bump to the floor to set up Woods hitting a flip dive, which they catch and powerbomb him on the floor. But as a heel team both of these guys seem completely uninterested in making things interested, and it's rare that the crowd is this quiet for the very first wrestling action they're seeing, but there it is. This match got plenty of time to do something, but this wasn't it. Pre-show matches don't typically feel this low energy.

Shane McMahon/The Miz vs. The Usos

ER: Shane is actually plenty good at doing things like armdrags and has a nice Russian leg sweep, because he throws his body entirely into the move, guy is pretty fearless with landings. His stuff only really falls apart whenever he thinks his strikes look good. The second he starts throwing strikes in matches it looks like a bad White Collar Brawlers bumper. I'm not sure who decided to start the evening's action with these two tags back to back, but it feels like someone is specifically trying to highlight how poor Rusev and Nakamura are in their current roles, as the Usos immediately step into a cut off the ring situation and work a far more interesting match with the same formula. Shane is a really fun FIP for them and there's a great moment where the Usos shoot him into a rope running sequence with one of them forcing Shane's movement with a dropdown, leading to him eating a lariat the way someone would eat a good spear. Miz has a spirited hot tag that the crowd is hyped for, even coming in with a springboard axe handle, and ends it with him doing a big plancha off the top onto both Usos. I'm not sure I've seen Miz do either of those things, and he's clearly playing to the hometown crowd and they love it. We go into the run that feels like the finish, and Usos are really good at bringing the match back from those moments to get more heat. The whole match builds to a ridiculous spot where Miz is on the mat and an Uso is slumped in the corner, with Shane and the other Uso on opposite buckles. Uso and Shane jumped at the same time and I guess it was supposed to look like Shane intercepting him out of mid air? It looked like two guys trying to avoid each other at the last minute, and then not sure what either was supposed to be selling upon landing. They both kind of held their balls and kicked their legs. It might have seemed spectacular on paper, but it came off confusing and overly thought out in execution, took away from the finish for me. I don't care about, nor do I understand the Shane turn, so I FF my way through. From what I did see, I'm amused that Shane appeared to tighten up his strikes for the first time since his comeback. He threw a couple of closed fist body shots to Miz that were better than any strikes he's thrown in an actual match the past year.

Mandy Rose vs. Asuka

ER: Really excited about this one even though I'm not sure it can deliver to my expectations. I've seen them both (especially Mandy) have such strong house show work, and that doesn't seem to come through nearly as often on TV. I know there's a good match to be had here though. But I fully dig how they start this, doing some quick mat reversals and some nice stuff around a waistlock, ending with Mandy locking in a nice octopus hold that Asuka reverses into an even better octopus. They don't bring many strikes into it until 4 minutes in, thought that was cool. Though once they do get to strikes Asuka comes up too short on what's supposed to be a big knockdown high kick, so that was awkward. Mandy has a couple really nice knee strikes, a great high knee early in the match, and a nice moment with Asuka missing her hip attack and getting hung in the ropes before eating a knee. Finish was a little sudden but had a nice set-up that felt like a Finlay agented spot: Sonya had lifted up the ring skirt at ringside to get a kendo stick from under the ring, and Mandy got reversed into the ropes, slipped on the ring skirt that had been gathered into the ring, and then got to her feet just in time to eat Asuka's heel across the right side of her face. The finish didn't really feel built to, and the match was a bit underwhelming, but the finish was great. They even do a slo-mo replay at the end that felt like the first time you saw Misawa rearrange Kawada's face in slo-mo with an elbow, seeing Asuka's boot turn Mandy's face into a rubbery Jim Carrey expression.

Kofi Kingston vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

ER: This was an angle, not really a match, and the fans hated it but in the way that will make them cheer louder for Kofi when he actually gets his big singles match. So it wasn't very exciting for me to see a 2 on 1 beatdown, and the fans didn't want to see it, but it felt like something that would at least advance the angle. I did like when the crowd was chanting This Is Boring, Cesaro said, "No, this is OVER!" before going for a pin.

Ricochet/Aleister Black vs. Chad Gable/Bobby Roode vs. The Revival

ER: I've been so hyped for Revival this past year, Dawson especially might be my favorite WWE male to watch right now. I like how this turns into both Revival and Roode/Gable working over Ricochet, really wish that would go on for the duration, it's a fun layout you don't often see from a triple threat tag (which is a clunky concept). Ricochet snaps off a nice headscissors and after that it's all him getting worked over. Dawson has a great back suplex, does nasty things like tear at his nose, Gable comes in and snaps Ricochet's arm around by trapping it in his ankles and dropping a knee on it. Gable bumps big for an Aleister front kick, though I think Roode might have been the weakest choice for guy to take all of Black's hot tag offense. I dug the sequence of Gable rolling through the chaos theory German before Wilder hit a top rope splash onto Gable; Black totally made the sequence by flailing all four of his limbs wildly as he was going over for the suplex. WWE guys are almost always really great at setting up those runs of chain smoking offense, where one guy hits a move only to get up and get hit by someone else's move. They aren't easy to naturally layout but someone there must be great at doing so. However, I don't think they're good at all at setting up big spots involving EVERY member of the match. I hate when a match like this devolves into the moment everyone is waiting around for, grinds things to a halt too much and the spot always looks too prepared. Ricochet hits a wild as hell dive over the ringpost, but I think that 6 person spot (Dawson getting rana'd to the floor onto everyone) peaked the match awkwardly and made the finish coming shortly after come off flat.

R-Truth vs. Andrade vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Samoa Joe

ER: What a bunch of dirty dogs, telling me I was getting more Mysterio/Andrade and instead getting another multiman. I actually got the push notification from WWE telling me "Andrade vs. Rey Mysterio kicks off the pre-show!" so I am not sure what kind of last minute call got made or what angle I blew past. The whole things starts off as a pretty great Joe showcase. He was really turning it on, loved his tope onto everyone, his corner chops looked brutal, and his headbutts looked great. Joe appears to be working at 2006 stiffness levels and I know it won't last, but it looks great while we're getting it. Rey is getting as high on offense as ever, and it makes no sense. His hang time always looks so damn elegant, and he makes implausible stuff look effortless, like giving a leaping rana to Andrade and Truth at the same time. My mind blows wide open when I suddenly realize that we've never seen Mysterio or Joe oppose one another until the past couple months. I'm watching them work, watch Joe take a great tornado DDT off the side of his head, and just thinking about what natural dance partners they make...and realize we've only ever even seen them dance together three times, all from the past couple months. Some nice moments down the stretch, Andrade had a gorgeous tornillo to the floor, Vega got involved and you know it was good because she lost an earring, and a lot of the ringwork looked good, but I again thought it could have used more build, and could have gone through a ton more nearfalls.

Sasha Banks/Bayley vs. Nia Jax/Tamina

ER: Boss Hugg would have been such a great name for the tag team, they were this close but they went and fell on their face with their actual name. And this starts off plenty good. Tamina is less offensive than normal, and every quick tag in to Nia is Fia. Tamina would handily carry the brunt of working over Bayley, then Nia would come in and plant her with a powerbomb, and get right back out. I would have liked them building more to Sasha coming in, think they should have had Bayley miss a couple tags first. Tamina is so damn lumbering while taking offense, she moves like she's wearing a suit of armor. Then they go for a spot where Tamina backdrops Sasha into a Nia Samoan drop, but Tamina whips Sasha WAY too fast into Nia and the spot gets wrecked but Nia saves Sasha from a vertical landing, so that counts for something. I did like Tamina's missed charge into the ringpost, so that's something, and Bayley hitting a tope onto everyone looked great, even though it crossed my mind that was the 4th time that near exact thing had happened, and the 3rd match in a row. That's not helping the freshness feel of this show, which has very much underwhelmed so far. I would mess with a Nia/Beth Phoenix feud though. Aw shit, Natalya is involved in it. My sails appear to no longer have wind in them.

Kevin Owens vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Mustafa Ali

ER: Fans are naturally acting like puds because they aren't getting Kofi/Bryan on this specific show, but they're clearly building to that, so it's annoying when they try to tank a different match when they will eventually get what they want anyway. It's like they're turning on Ali even though they were all in Ali's ass like 3 weeks ago. It's this obnoxious thing where the loudest fans in these situations are the ones who think WWE is somehow screwing them and not pushing their favorites, but Kofi is a guy they've been officially flipping out for now for...like a month. People clearly dug Kofi before, but none of these people were clamoring for Kofi to get a long singles run with 8 star matches against Bryan before that. They were shown Kofi was worth getting behind, and then started acting like they somehow weren't getting what they wanted, while thinking they're making a demand against authority, who actually agrees with what they think they're rebelling against. It makes no sense. Anywho...

Bryan's demeanor in these scraps really is incredible, guy leers around the ring and looks like someone with no time for bullshit. Ali is doing his best in a dumb situation and takes an insane bump off the top, looking like he falls forever before hitting the floor. Crowd appears to be less shitty after that. This match obviously would have been much more interesting if it was a singles match between any two of these guys. We've had one singles match on this show and it feels like one of those indy shows that are nothing but 6 man scrambles, and 3 way tag matches. The pacing is totally screwed because every match feels like a variation on the same match. There's plenty of actual great looking stuff in this - Ali hitting a 450 to the freaking apron, Owens almost damn dying flipping too fast on a tope con hilo (and almost smashing his face into the announce desk), Ali bumping his way into shutting the fans up and hitting a big ass high arc Spanish Fly - but the triple threat stip kept taking me out of the match. There's a wild sequence down the stretch where Ali gets shoved off the top and basically does a moonsault landing on his feet to the floor (my poor ankles would be at 90 degree ankles best case scenario), then Bryan misses a leaping knee off the apron, and Ali hits a wicked tornado DDT on him, Bryan whipping super fast into it. But it felt like the actual finish came too quickly after that, felt like Bryan was back in the ring too quick after what felt like a big moment. Him kneeing Ali out of the sky looked like something that should definitely end a match though, so no complaints about what finished, but plenty of complaints about how we got to there.

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

ER: Charlotte's boots are sick as hell, probably my favorite thing on the show so far. The maroon and gold scheme doesn't go with her magenta gear, which means Charlotte just needs to get herself some damn maroon and gold gear! Maroon is an underutilized gear color (he says, without taking even one second to think about it). And this match was great. Lynch comes out limping and Charlotte mocks her and spends the whole time going after Becky's leg, and it's the best stuff. There are a bunch of nasty short spills that Becky is forced to take, and they do some shots that look like they came straight out of BattlArts, no joke. Little things like Becky kicking at the side of Charlotte's knee from her back, or Charlotte kicking at Becky's knee while standing over her. Honestly it felt like Ikeda vs. Ishikawa in parts, and I realize how stupid I can come off saying that. Charlotte practically dumps Becky onto her head hitting a sliding tackle into her knee, and I'm all in on it. Becky fights in with little cornered animal attacks, Charlotte takes a big bump off the top, and the thought of a figure 8 seems even more exhilarating since Lynch's has had her knee smacked around for a week. Naturally we get a Ronda run in, giving Becky a nasty as hell punch while about to maybe get tapped, giving Becky the win and the Mania appearance. I'm thankful as all hell I remain purposely oblivious to Ronda Rousey Online Activity, so I'm going to also assume that she hasn't done anything stupid this week on the internet. So saying that, I absolutely love her shitty smirk and bad eye makeup as she stands in the corner, and I could see this match being the best match at Mania.

Baron Corbin/Bobby Lashley/Drew McIntyre vs. The Shield

ER: I'm just not caring about this one too much, and that's too bad because Shield trios were my absolute joint in a not too distant past. I don't care about the Shield anymore. It's over. The McIntyre/Roman moments felt like they should have been better, and the crowd is really quiet the whole time. This has been a pretty suck crowd almost the whole night, honestly. It gets better when Dean hits a really nice elbow off the top to the floor, there's a big powerbomb, and they work some decent crowd brawling stuff which was at minimum a welcome change of pace to the cold ring work. Fans do eventually get really into this and there are big spots, a great Roman spear on the floor, McIntyre going through an announce table, and the crowd really loves getting to see all three Shield guys get Corbin alone in the ring. The match eventually came off like a success but it never grabbed me. Maybe my mood was down because I think the PPV almost entirely underdelivered compared to my (reasonable) expectations. This certainly wasn't a bad match, but it felt like it should have been better.

ER: This was a kind of disappointing PPV. That seems kind of harsh, because I don't think there was anything bad on the card. But there wasn't a lot that moved the needle for me. I really got into Becky/Charlotte, even the Ronda finish (even though I still wished there was more match before Ronda), but the rest felt like it had a good amount of nice moments, but not great matches. Felt like a high potential card going into the night, but I don't think this was my fault.

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WWE Elimination Chamber Running Behind Live Blog 2/17/19

Akira Tozawa vs. Buddy Murphy

ER: Boy there are a lot of guys in wrestling who look like Buddy Murphy now. It seems like they weirdly do this with the PPV 205 Live matches, like there's a weird disconnect with how they market the brand and how the brand is actually executed. Murphy comes out here working a slow, methodical match while the hype is all "coming up some highflying cruiserweight action!!" and here's Buddy Murphy holding a long rear chinlock and abdominal stretch while we get a lengthy New Day inset promo. Murphy chops the ringpost but doesn't go very far with it, and they do the cool spot where Murphy catches a tope and lifts Tozawa into a suplex. Fans were amped for Tozawa's comeback and I dug his great backdrop suplex. Tozawa is pretty awesome about getting big height on flapjacks, and they do a wild spot up top where Murphy lifts Tozawa practically about his his to throw him, and Tozawa snags him with a frankensteiner. Murphy's honky tonk strike combo looked way too much like memorized square dance steps; take that shit down to Kodiak Jacks on ladies night, take it away from my wrestling this evening. Murphy did a fine stumble out of the ring after taking a reverse rana, way more interesting than running back to do something else, and Tozawa's two fast topes to the floor looked really good, he always looks like he makes solid contact on dives. And I thought they did a good job with Buddy coming back into the ring to get hit by a big Tozawa senton while draped over the ropes. Draped over ropes spots are iffy so Murphy instead "getting back into the ring" covers it better. The scramble to the finish was really fun and I totally bought Tozawa's submission as a potential finish, and really liked the groove this settled into down the stretch.

Carmella/Naomi vs. Liv Morgan/Sarah Logan vs. Iiconics vs. Nia Jax/Tamina vs. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville vs. Sasha Banks/Bayley

ER: I dug that they had Carmella out first, and how much of a boss she looked with an extra long moonwalk. Entrances alone got me excited for this one, with the Iiconics talking trash and laughing at the other teams, Peyton Royce's new warm hair color looking great,  Rose and Deville taking their time getting to the ring, Deville wearing cool new pants, this whole thing could be really good. I think it's a great idea to start with Rose and Deville as it feels like this puts them into a good spot to get more heat and more attention. There's a lot of good stuff to start, a little awkwardness with rope running, but Bayley bumps big a couple times into the grating around the ring, Rose takes a nasty neckbreaker onto the grating when she gets a foot stuck in the cage, cool stuff. I love Mandy Rose but damn does girl have some wild lipstick teeth. Someone really needs to do a fishhook spot and wipe it off, it makes it look like she's missing her front teeth. They do a big suplex tower stuff and I never understand why the people on the bottom of the tower sell. All they did was powerbomb someone, they didn't take a bump, but there's Logan and Morgan, just as wiped out as everyone else who took a superplex. The Iiconics coming in was my favorite part of the match as they immediately go for a dozen pinfalls and suddenly I want them to be tag champs. Things get a little crowded after awhile as nobody has been eliminated and we need to thin things out a bit (I assume Nia will do that). A few scattered incels try to ruin Carmella's team entrance but people are into it moments later when she hits a couple nice superkicks on Logan. There are 17 people on commentary I think. Trainwreck spot with people hitting suplexes and superkicks back to back to back comes off less better than WWE matches usually do those spots, and it ends with more lying around. There's lying around, but nobody getting pinned, so I'm curious where and how they want to peak this. I thought the Iiconics double pin elimination looked great, and we get the desired Nia Jax wrecking ball entrance. The horror movie monster build up to Nia and Tamina dragging Iiconics back out of a pod - like Michael Myers crashing through the closet door looking for Laurie - was long but well done, and them violently swinging the Iiconics into the cage looked great, probably best spot of the match so far. I like Nia's dominance but the match isn't totally doing it for me once the Iiconics are out of it, but Nia does an insane Bull Charge crashing through a pod at full speed and KOing herself, which is a smart way to get her out of there so everyone can target Tamina. Graves keeps talking about his daughters watching at home and it feels pointedly gross. Down to two teams the intentions are good, even if some of the executions aren't. Every time they did a pod spot it looked good (Sasha and Bayley each got their backs run into support beams) but some of the moves looked a little off, had some timing glitches. But it was laid out well enough that the fans were way into it the whole home stretch, so I'd say it was a definite success even if I thought the match underdelivered on quality.

The Miz/Shane McMahon vs. The Usos

ER: This is pretty fun as the Usos are a good team to have in there working a straight non-gimmick tag with Shane. Usos are tough but they're lean and mean now so Shane actually has a little size on them, but they still look like guys who should run over Shane. The crowd feels a little burned out after the big Chamber match so this feels like a good spot to have Shane, and the crowd is quiet throughout but does get up a bit for his flurries. Shane is the quintessential dorky dad at a BBQ, who is cracking jokes and getting too drunk on IPAs, so ends up doing some stupid stunt while his wife asks him not to, please. The coast to coast dropkick is obviously a guaranteed pop (it better be!) and him flying off into a superkick looked great. I thought the finish was actually pretty dumb though. Shane does another "dad goofing around on the roof spot" and flies through the announce table, but then we have Jimmy Usos eat knees on a splash and take the Skull Crushing Finale, but then he just rolls up Miz while getting pinned. I hate those finishes that involve a guy just taking a couple big moves and just deciding he was still the stronger man. I didn't need to see tag champ Shane, but I thought the finish could have played out better here.

Lio Rush/Bobby Lashley vs. Finn Balor

ER: I can't really get into this one too much, even though it has some fun flashes. I do perk up when Lashley takes a nice bump to the floor, and shortly after catches Balor and basically double legs him all the way into the ring barricade. I don't really care about this feud or the stakes though, so I just can't get too into it. They handle Balor's big comeback well though, with him making small strides against Rush after he's been worked over by Lashley, then hitting a big flip dive on both and immediately separating Rush from Lashley. Him easily moving from flip dive to attack on Rush was a smart touch, but a lot of this match didn't move me.

Ruby Riott vs. Ronda Rousey

ER: Ronda is wearing a cool version of Tamina's outfit, and this is probably pretty easily the match I'm most excited about on this card. Aaaaaaaaaaaaand it's a quickie. Riott stalls, Ronda hits her twisting fireman's carry and grabs the arm. Damn, what a drag. I get having a huge Goldberg finish for Ronda, but she doesn't need it, people already know she's dangerous. Every PPV match Ronda has had has made her opponent look more badass even in losing, and there's no reason that couldn't have happened here. Riott Squad feels like something the fans are dying to get behind, and their legs keep getting kicked out. A hot 8 minute matcha against Ronda would have legitimized Riott, so this was a major disappointment for me.

Baron Corbin vs. Braun Strowman

ER: Kendo stick stuff to start didn't do a lot for me, but Corbin sliding out of the ring super quick to reverse an Irish whip, then sprinting back in the ring a swinging a low as hell lariat, really shows he's been watching The Big Bossman in AJPW stuff. Tim Livingston had told me this earlier in the week when he was over, but I thought he sounded like a crazy idiot. Turns out I just haven't been paying attention to Baron Corbin matches. And in no time flat this match kind of rules, with Corbin chucking a huge ergonomic office chair at Braun and then tossing him straight into the ring steps, then clonking him with the steps. I guess I should have known that we would get a lot of interference in a No DQ match, though it robbed us of the nice brawl we were getting into. The big finish looked like a big finish, with him getting triple powerbombed through two stacked tables, read like a classic ECW spot. But I would have rather had a cool match than an advanced angle. This show has majorly underdelivered so far.

Kofi Kingston vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton vs. AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Daniel Bryan

ER: The Chamber has routinely been my favorite of the WWE gimmick matches. The 2011 Chamber with Lawler almost winning the title from Miz was one of the most fun live shows I've ever been to. But I'm not too excited about this Chamber match, although I'm amused at just how 2006 it is. Seriously look at the names in this one! Who would have guessed in 2006 that all 6 of these guys would be high up on arguably the largest B-level WWE PPV? The "Apex Predator" is one of the worst nicknames ever. That's about one tick away from sounding like "Dumpster Rapist" Randy Orton. Bryan and Joe start and do a nice greatest hits package, Joe throwing kicks and rolling into a kneebar, Bryan's chest getting nicely reddened, Joe attacking with more kicks and my god Bryan takes a real beating that he sells as if the beating was taking an eternity. Kofi got the big gauntlet run on Monday and he gets to look pretty triumphant and on the level of Joe and Bryan here, which is a surprising development. I would have much rather seen Big E be the breakout singles star of New Day, though I liked Kofi's tope en reversa off the cage. These guys are putting together a pretty nice collection of stuff, Samoa Joe does a huge senton right on Bryan's hip that had to have screamed. Styles has casually been taking big spills around the edge of the cage, and Hardy hitting a swanton off a pod onto Styles while Styles WAS DRAPED ACROSS THE TURNBUCKLES looked wild, total Chamber highlight reel spot. That he ate an elimination Bryan knee right after was a great touch. You knew from the gauntlet and how commentary couldn't stop talking about Kingston the whole match, that this was coming down to Bryan/Kingston. I've never been a big Kofi fan outside of cute Royal Rumble spots, and for awhile several years I thought he had the worst offense on the brand. But you cannot deny this reaction he's getting here, and Bryan is a total master and feeling like a big deal while making it seem like anybody has a chance. Kofi gets a couple of HUGE reaction nearfalls, hitting the SOS and later hitting a double stomp that almost sees him stomp Bryan's dick. Fans sound like they want a Kofi win SO bad, which is exciting. Kofi gets rammed into the pod in a real nasty way, and gets a great nearfall kickout after Bryan hits the knee. I didn't love Bryan reversing a pin immediately after taking the Trouble in Paradise, feels real dumb that someone's finisher didn't buy them a single second of dazed opponent, and they already did that exact same thing earlier into the show. Some agent needs to think of a better way to build drama. Crowd is obviously still rabid so I'll shut my idiot mouth though. It's actually kind of shocking to me how silent and disappointed the crowd got when they realized Bryan was winning. Like they wanted to see Kofi win SO BAD that once Kofi missed a big Superfly Splash (and looked like he whipped his head into the mat) the crowd got silent, like they knew THAT was it. I'm really impressed with the connection the crowd had to Kofi, it always makes a match better even if it's not a reaction I share.

ER: I thought this PPV overall was a miss, but it ended strong. The main event chamber was easily the best match on the show, and there's something to be said about ending any situation on a high note. The rest of the card didn't do much for me: Women's chamber had some great moments but some drag throughout, tag match was unexpectedly fun with a finish I didn't like, Riott got her momentum slammed shut again, I got deprived of another great Ronda match, got robbed of a big guy brawl as it was getting good...everything until the main basically left me flat. The show did end on a sustained high note, and that counts for something.

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WWE Survivor Series 2018 Live Blog

New Day/Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson/The Colons/Sanity/The Usos vs. The Revival/Lucha House Party/The Ascension/The B-Team/Bobby Roode & Chad Gable

ER: Can I get an over/under on how many times we'll hear "Brand Supremacy" spoken on commentary tonight? I don't think we're ever going to get an actual "good" version of this type of match again. It seems impossible to have a bad version of a match with this many people, yet now you always just get a bunch of super quick eliminations, no strategy, and still somehow get people lying in holds even though there are nearly a dozen guys who are fresh. There are a ton of guys who get eliminated after taking moves that would never finish a match normally, so we clear out a bunch of guys and cut to Revival, Gable/Roode, New Day, and Usos. We do get an extremely fun trainwreck spot, dives from everyone, awesome spear to the floor from Big E, Big E tossing Wilder with great overhead belly to belly suplexes, Gable getting backdropped to the floor, a huge suplex to the floor, just a fun extended crash segment. I wasn't expecting things to come down to Revival/Usos, but I'm happy the Revival are there. I was hoping they'd get to have more of a tag match once they were alone, but it went straight into a finisher stretch. The stuff looked cool, like Revival connecting on the Power Plex, and we got some nice saves to amp things up, and it was fine. This could have been really good, but it wasn't bad at all, and that's something. Some of these teams were total non-factors, Ascension was limited to basically Viktor locking Kingston in a headlock, Sanity was gone with I think only Dane getting in the match, and you end up with a 90 minute pre-show and this match still feeling incredibly rushed.

Carmella/Naomi/Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville/Asuka vs. Mickie James/Tamina/Nia Jax/Sasha Banks/Bayley

ER: Love the huge heat Nia is getting, haven' really heard anything like that, and her blowing and dusting off her knuckles is THE BEST. Becky vs. Nia is gonna be DOPE. Right off the bat Naomi and Tamina get eliminated, and while I'm not happy with Naomi being out so early, I'll accept the sacrifice to get Tamina out of this thing. I dug the extended Rose/James section, James getting a cool heel hook reversal and Rose working a nice abdominal stretch. And before long Mickie is practically running this for Raw, working through Asuka and Sonya Deville, and they've oddly fallen into the trap this match of having all the heels be the ones taking heat. We're also getting an odd amount of partners making zero attempts to save a member from their team. Is there some rule against breaking up a pin? People are just getting eliminated left and right, a member of their team always ready to replace them but rarely ready to save them. This makes no sense. None of this feels like it has any kind of team make-up to it. But things get pretty hot once it's down to Nia/Bayley and Asuka/Deville. Nia milks heat when she comes in but takes a big bump to the floor, eating an Asuka kick after a missed charge. They do, however, their best to suck that heat out of the arena by having Deville and Bayley counted out. It was all supposed to come down to Nia, but they've taken a ton of uninteresting ways to get there. Neither of these "traditional" matches felt mapped out well at all. Still, it was smart to make Asuka the final survivor on SD as she's felt a bit too much a part of the crowd lately, it was good having her fight back against Nia and Sasha, and I like how Asuka matches up with both. I thought the end stretch was handled well, liked a lot of the Sasha/Asuka stuff, Sasha took a wild German suplex, and thought it was smart for Nia to throw Sasha to the wolves to then be able to wreck Asuka. The match didn't add up to a whole lot, really both elimination matches have been pretty mindless, but they're moving ahead perfectly with Nia. Nia/Becky is going to be fire, and Nia/Asuka until we get that match should rule.

Seth Rollins vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

ER: Everybody always looks like such a goon when they're forced to wear their brand colors. Nakamura looks like he's wearing a blue version of Green Man, and Rollins - who doesn't really need help looking dorky - isn't helped by his half/half Rawlins shirt. And the layout of this match is not something that's going to make me like this match, as we get a long slow Nakamura control to build to some lousy Rollins FIRE offense. Those topes look bad, dude. We get some nice kicks followed by a silly slap fight, then some more Rollins silliness with a buckle bomb and that beyond dumb superplex/Falcon Arrow. And it's all very serious, people. This match is definitely as uninteresting as I feared it would be. They gave it an effort but this constant back and forth with kickouts replacing actual drama just doesn't do it for me. I'm sure if Graves calls it an incredible match-up a few more times, I might come around. This felt like a lot of motion for what we got. This PPV is still turn-aroundable, but my enthusiasm is waning.

The Bar vs. AOP

ER: Does Drake Maverick always look like a smoked orange peel, or is the color on my TV all wonky? This tag match is perfectly good wrestling although it never went up to "next level" and felt about as good as something you'd typically see on weekly TV. I've not been too impressed with AOP, but like some of their clumsy power spots. It was pretty uneventful and we soon realize that the whole match was basically a set piece to have Drake Maverick pee his pants after getting scared by Big Show. Oh wow. Oh wow that's lame. Big Show was literally only out there to build to a pissed pants spot. This ain't good.

Mustafa Ali vs. Buddy Murphy

ER: This starts really good, Ali snaps off a nice rana and Murphy shoots out to the floor (much smoother than Anderson's clunky take of a rana in our first match), but Ali is crazy and gets shoved off the buckles by Murphy and flies backwards into the barricade. The replays really made it look like he flew far. Murphy also launches him to the floor after blocking another move, leading to another massive Ali bump to the floor. Murphy follows with a big tope con hilo, and Ali sells that back in the ring by hitting a superkick and reverse rana. He also makes bug eye faces when Murphy kicks out of things. Ali is clearly one of those guys who does some things I like, and then proceeds to wrestle like all of those indy guys I'm already tired of. Each man is both completely dead while also completely able to break out a sunset flip powerbomb or any other Modern Indy Offense at a moment's notice. They did things to make me care about the match early, but they quickly turned this into the same match I've seen from dozens of wrestlers in dozens of feds this year. Murphy catching Ali with a knee off the ropes at the finish looked great, and really was cool enough to be the finish. BUT, it didn't involve one or both guys flipping, so it could not finish this match. Crowd was into this and they seemed pretty dead after that tag match, so they get some credit for that.

Bobby Lashley/Finn Balor/Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre/Braun Strowman vs. The Miz/Jeff Hardy/Samoa Joe/Rey Mysterio/Shane McMahon

ER: So who was the agent for these matches? Did we really need every one of these matches to start with an immediate elimination? This is bad, man. This whole concept works better when you have teams who actually want to team together; having in-fighting while also fighting with another team of in-fighters just makes for a big mess of spots. And some of the mess of spots is good! Nobody needs Shane wrestler cosplaying with armdrags, but watching him do a really stupid stunt through a table is welcome. It's wild how Mysterio has barely been back and just feels like some guy. That said, it's hilarious how easily he dispatches with Balor. You'll be shocked to know that according to Cole and Graves, that this match - just like every match that we've seen so far tonight - is ALSO an incredible match. It's just literally impossible to believe how incredible this night of wrestling has been. Everything is incredible! I'm in silent awe, like an immigrant seeing the Statue of Liberty for the first time. I can't care too much about Shane eliminating Ziggler, but it's amusing watching Lashley throw him with huge suplexes. And I dug Shane, red faced, tired getting urged to the top rope by Miz, needing to hit that coast to coast, and getting hammered out of the sky by Braun. Really just having Braun smash through everybody is the most fun this can get, and I sickly love that this comes down to Shane McMahon heroically having to stand against 3 men. We didn't get enough of Shane fighting valiantly and he went down pretty easy to Braun, whole match wound up being pretty flat. The elimination matches have all felt like set-up matches to get to bigger matches - which is totally cool - but weird to spend an actual PPV setting up matches that feel more important than the PPV. And is Braun vs. Corbin something that people want to see? This had some strong showings throughout, Miz was good as active team leader, Rey turned in a typically good Rey multiman performance, they integrated Shane about as well as possible. This is most likely the best match on the show so far, though that's not a very esteemed title.

Charlotte vs. Ronda Rousey

ER: I guess Rousey is going for geisha makeup? It...doesn't not work, I guess. I don't get why else you'd be doing the white pancake makeup if not for a geisha look, but her wrestling has been so strong that the only place she really needs to be reined in is at Sephora. Ronda is nice and tenacious to start and I love her relentlessly going after Charlotte, even jumping right back in after the ref separates them, constantly going after that arm. Ronda's greatest strength may very well be her bumps, she's a crazy bumped whose specialty is flying face first into things. You saw her excellent ringpost bumps in the Nikki match, and here Charlotte gets an opening when Ronda flies fast face first into the bottom buckle, really looked nasty. Ronda gets a busted mouth and Charlotte begins taking over. I really dug Charlotte kicking out Rousey's leg when she was on the top, even though I was dying to know what Rousey was going to do off the top. I'm going to need a Steiner 450 from Ronda. The rolling armbar off the top is a cool spot I hope doesn't start getting overused. Ronda is so great at building drama, great at selling (look at how she stood up with that rolling fireman's carry, look at the emotion she showed) and I don't think anybody has made Charlotte's spear look that great. That spear looked so nasty and Rousey's kickout was so great that I fully bought that finishing the match. Ronda is good at paying service to the work Charlotte has done to the leg, without being obvious and hammy about it, really feels like she has a grasp on complicated selling, moreso than many in WWE. I normally think Charlotte's chops look a little flimsy, but here I loved her firing out of the corner with them. Ronda getting a chest full of bruises only helped with that visual. We get the DQ finish, which is disappointing, but I like that they at least went with a full beatdown and not just a one move DQ. Charlotte beats her with a kendo stick and Ronda takes a great bump into the ring steps. It continues the trend of this PPV being used to set up actual important matches, but I thought this match ruled. I think it's undeniable that this is the best Charlotte has looked in ages, and it's not a coincidence it came against Ronda. Rousey is legit at this point, she's arguably the best salesman in the fed, right up with the best bumpers, and has strong offense. It's pretty shocking how good she is, so quick. This blew away anything else on the show, by a mile.

Daniel Bryan vs. Brock Lesnar

ER: Well. This completely owned. This is one that I imagine most wrestling fans have been interested in seeing for a long time now. I didn't think we'd ever get this match, and it feels weird that we finally get it. And they take things slow, circling, Bryan mocking Brock, and it feels like Brock is going to wreck him once they make contact with each other. Bryan throws a hard kick but Brock walks through it and wings a lariat at the side of Bryan's head. It's going to be that kind of match. Suplex City comes early, with Brock mocking the chants, and then throwing some ungodly suplexes to Bryan, really sending Bryan crashing in all sorts of ragdoll ways. This goes on for awhile, and the longer it goes the more it genuinely seems like Brock is going to completely steamroll Bryan. He's done that before, and it looked like he was doing it again. But just as the extended Brock thrashing was starting to feel a bit too long, the match gets flipped, when the match gets flipped things get great. Bryan gets F5'd into the ref, which slows it down and allows Bryan to land on his feet, then he punts Brock in the balls behind the fallen ref's back, and they turn a massive ballshot into a fantastic nearfall, like a elementary school playground version of David & Goliath. We get this awesome run of Bryan slipping out of Brock's grasp and Brock getting tricked into a bunch of big bumps (and Brock big bumps are unlike any other), and Bryan laces into Brock with an absolute BEATING. Bryan is throwing stiff kick to the ribs of the grounded Lesnar, then Bryan grabs Brock's arms and starts stomping the hell out of Brock's face. We get a moment I don't think I've EVER seen, as the cameras show BRYAN'S BOOT MARK imprinted on Brock's freaking face!!! This is next level. The stretch run is just killer. Brock gets his leg worked over, gets it wrapped around a ringpost, but is still capable of catching Bryan, and we get an awesome Lesnar moment where he catches a sprinting Bryan up on his shoulders and coming *this* close to an F5, but Lesnar's knee buckles and drops Bryan right down into an awesome Yes Lock. Brock's tap teasing was engaging as all hell throughout, totally looked like they could have given Bryan a plausible win over the beast, and Bryan looked like he was going to flat out knock Lesnar out once he started clonking him with the sickest crossface strikes. Holy shit. Bryan hung with Brock and it was glorious, but Brock eventually smashed him after Bryan looked as good against him than anyone. I really loved this one, thought they knocked it out of the park.


ER: I really wasn't digging this PPV, was chalking it up as a major weekend loss as I didn't really like the TakeOver either. And then WRESTLING GOD RONDA ROUSEY showed that she's an instant great, and Brock Bryan gave me exactly what my lizard wrestling brain wanted to see. Can't help but recommend this PPV after those last two matches put me in a great wrestling mood. All of that last hour owned.

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WWE Clash of the Champions 2017 Live Blog

1. Mojo Rawley vs. Zack Ryder

ER: I liked these two together, more than I'll ever like Ryder on his own, and I guess I'll never really understand their need to break teams up before they really do much with them. If we strung together all the PPV pre-show matches from 2017, you'd wind up with a pretty great 2 hour special. This is another nice showing, with Ryder taking a couple big bumps, getting a nice comeback, and then getting obliterated on the finish. Ryder gets shoved from the top rope to the apron to the floor, taking a mean tumble, then Mojo runs around the ring to awesomely check him into the barricade. Back in and the camera nicely picks up a Mojo big boot with his boot staying on Ryder's face all the way down to the mat. Ryder's comeback is at minimum explosive, even if the cameras zoomed in too hard on his thigh slaps, the impression of impact was at least there. But Mojo's 1-2 finish was really cool, taking out Ryder's knee with a diving block, and then blasting him with that running forearm in the corner. Fun opener, hopefully Mojo doesn't get totally lost.

2. Bobby Roode vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin

ER: Just FYI, it still sounds incredibly stupid when someone bumps over the barricade and someone shouts that they just got knocked "into the WWE Universe!" They got clotheslined over a short wall. Does the WWE Universe only start once we've passed the plane of the barricade? Does nothing happening inside a WWE ring count as part of the WWE Universe? Are the concession stands part of the WWE Universe, since they're beyond the barricade? Is someone urinating in the arena bathroom urinating into the WWE Universe? Does it apply to both people AND places? Is someone buying a WWE t-shirt an example of "The WWE Universe purchasing the WWE Universe within the WWE Universe'? It's beyond the worst. Roode and Ziggler don't match up well, Ziggler leans out of simple things like stomach kicks and then just doesn't connect on his own. But someone (Graves?) just said Ziggler may be the greatest performer in WWE history, so what do I know? I have no clue what actual performance metrics you would have to fudge to even squint and believe that statement. Roode has taken big moves nicely in this, splatting face first on the famouser and getting big height on a spinning slam from Corbin, takes Ziggler's big DDT really nicely. I really liked Corbin trying to vulture Roode's win, only for Roode to throw him to the floor and Corbin breaking up the pin anyway. If I didn't care for him the rest of the match, Ziggler at least made the finish work: Corbin was about to hit End of Days on Roode and Ziggler jumped in at the perfect moment with the Zig Zag, the momentum also slamming Roode tailbone first into the mat to presumably keep him from breaking up the pin. This was fine, crowd was really into it though and that counts for something.

3. Aiden English/Rusev vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable vs. Big E/Kofi Kingston vs. The Usos

ER: Fans are really stoked for Rusev Day, so we got a nice hot crowd tonight, good to hear, and it warms my heart to hear English getting a great reaction. This starts with a pretty great car crash as Kofi gets tossed into a plancha, an Uso hits his big no hands plancha to the other half of the match, and Benjamin launches an Uso with a belly to belly off the top. Kofi eats a great boot and ring post shot courtesy of Rusev after goofing around. Rusev doesn't have time for that nonsense on Rusev Day. I like how English is doing a bunch of solid little things in what most want to be a spotfest: doing nice grounded punches off in the corner of the camera, locking in and wrenching a nice headlock. Don't let the match style conform you. The Texas Tornado style of the match feels a bit to crowded, and it's making half the guys wait to do their spots while the other half does their spots. It's messing up flow. Why is this the match without extra refs? This is kind of a mess even though everyone is working hard. I think Big E might have arguably the best standing splash in wrestling history. It's got the incontestable best height and the impact is great. Kofi springboards into the ring and gets stuck with a great Benjmain powerbomb, and they are freaking killing me with these Rusev/English nearfalls. There were three pins all in a row that looked like they could plausibly win the belts. Come onnnnn. The finishing stretch is flat out GREAT. Rusev and Big E have a great battle over the Accolade, with E almost powering out before Rusev bends him back violently. Gable comes in and hits a tremendous deadlift German on Rusev, just dumping him on his shoulders, then hits a rolling chaos theory on English that dumps him even more violently. We get a sneaky Uso tag as Gable tries for another chaos theory, couple superkicks and a big splash finishes him, straight up fire finish. Awesome stuff.

4. Natalya vs. Charlotte

ER: Alright, and now for nobody's favorite gimmick match! Natalya is a far better heel when she doesn't actually realize she's being a heel. Her acting like a heel is just hammy. She's a much better A-Rod style "heel who doesn't know that she's disliked" heel. Who in wardrobe allowed Carmella and Lana to both wear red swimsuits? Also, Carmella's suit looks like a placeholder for her actual, real gear...except she's been wearing it for months. Tamina continues having the worst gear, it's like they tailored Viscera's old gear and gave it some darting. Charlotte takes a nice awkward bump to the floor, and I liked the bridge up to dodge a baseball slide. Charlotte is good at coming up with cool ways to engage the lumberjacks, really liked Natalya pushing off the figure 4, sending Charlotte flying into a dive on Ruby Riott. Tamina runs point on catching a Charlotte moonsault to the floor, which predictably means that she bumps out of the way before the moonsault hits and 6 women take bumps anyway. Tamina is so bad you guys. She did absorb all of the Naomi springboard, so I guess I shouldn't be so harsh. Thankfully we don't have to endure a Natalya win, and Charlotte worked hard in a difficult gimmick match.

Natalya threatening to leave WWE is like a parent threatening to take their kids broccoli away. "That's it, you keep mouthing off, now I'm giving you another spoonful of mac and cheese and YOU don't get any more broccoli! Actually, why don't you go to your room and play video games and then see how you feel!"

5. Breezango vs. Bludgeon Brothers

ER: I know I just said a few minutes ago that Tamina has the worst gear possible...but my god the Bludgeon Brothers. They look like a Hot Topic was destroyed in a hurricane, and a seamstress assembled their outfits out of found scraps. I have no idea what vibe they're going for. So many studs and zippers and hanging bits and that riveted cummerbund corset awkard tight bits side by side awkward loose bits. And the match is over. A straight match between these two would have been really fun. But, I guess we were running long (no we weren't)?

6. Shinsuke Nakamura/Randy Orton vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

ER: I'm not totally sure who this match concept is supposed to appeal to. This tag match with a normal referee already had a chance to be pretty uninteresting, but jamming two authority figures into it as mildly disagreeing distractions should practically guarantee it's no good. The fans, to their ever loving credit tonight, are into it. Still! They're still excitedly chanting for this show. The great finish to that tag match feels like an hour ago and we haven't accomplished much since then, and they're still chanting for their guys. I like it. Props to Orton for hitting a chinlock literally 10 seconds into the match. Zayn and Owens are also working their share, but they at least are making them look good, with Zayn going after the eyes and nose bridge and Owens making his snug. I'm kind of okay with them cutting the ring off with chinlocks for as long as the crowd can take it. All of Nakamura's kicks to Owens look really good, loved the falling enziguiri as Owens caught a kick to the chest. Bryan and Shane haven't even been very involved in the match itself but man they are so distracting, with the camera purposely keeping them both in frame most of the time. "Triangle!" "Shoulders were down!" means that someone decided to get a Dental Plan/Lisa Needs Braces joke into things, which we were probably all hoping for. My god Shane's facials and movements might officially make him a worst guest ref than Shawn Michaels. I think he's been worse than current Red Shoes in this...but may even be Michaels bad. That's really bad. Boy that finish was really bad. Who could have wanted any of this? I know Orton has been snail slow in his PPV matches the last two years, and this whole match he seemed even slower as everyone had to let this guest ref angle breathe a bit. Woof.

7. Jinder Mahal vs. AJ Styles

ER: I really liked this, and while a lot of it was because of another excellent Styles performance, I thought Mahal worked smart and didn't overreach, thought both worked together to craft an interesting match around each man's strengths. There was also that real fear from a lot of people that Mahal was going to win the title again (while I don't hate Jinder, I also wanted to see AJ hold the belt longer), so the fear and tension on some of the nearfalls was there. Jinder worked over AJ's ribs in simple and effective ways, and AJ made a point of landing in all sorts of nasty ways on his ribs. Styles bumped huge into the timekeeper's area, just about the most painful way you can get into that area. Jinder just worked simple knees and kicks and holds targeting AJ's ribs. The springboard block was great, with Jinder hitting the ropes to knock AJ off, and AJ naturally landing ribs first again. Mahal keeps up the targeted attacks with a big gutbuster and awesome flapjack (Styles takes a flapjack better than maybe anyone), and I liked Styles' comeback Pele kick (with Mahal going for the kill with his cobra clutch slam only off the middle rope). I didn't love the finish with Styles just kicking out of the slam to eventually roll Mahal into the Calf Crusher, but the whole thing built really solidly and I love how serious they're treating the Calf Crusher. I loved when the top guys all had submission finishers in 2003, so I would not mind going back to that. Styles can basically do no wrong at this point.

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