WWE Fastlane 3/10/19 Adjacent-to-Live Blog

Shinsuke Nakamura/Rusev vs. New Day

ER: Lana's got a cool new shoulder length 'do, though it's styled a bit too triangularly. This is kicking off the pre-show, and was treated as such when it got the smaller square of screen during a Roman Reigns promo vid, and the smaller screen on a cutaway to Miz talking with his dad and Shane. Rusev and Nak cut off Wood's tag to Big E well enough, but nothing flashy or very interesting. This feels like a house show match, without the charm of a house show match. Rusev and Nak are complementary partners, but they don't do a ton more than stop action here and Nak just always seems lethargic. I liked Woods' missile dropkick off the top, and Big E has the greatest standing splash in pro wrestling history, with no close contenders coming to mind. Finishing stretch gets betters when some interference from Lana adds intrigue to a nearfall, and both Rusev and Nak bump to the floor to set up Woods hitting a flip dive, which they catch and powerbomb him on the floor. But as a heel team both of these guys seem completely uninterested in making things interested, and it's rare that the crowd is this quiet for the very first wrestling action they're seeing, but there it is. This match got plenty of time to do something, but this wasn't it. Pre-show matches don't typically feel this low energy.

Shane McMahon/The Miz vs. The Usos

ER: Shane is actually plenty good at doing things like armdrags and has a nice Russian leg sweep, because he throws his body entirely into the move, guy is pretty fearless with landings. His stuff only really falls apart whenever he thinks his strikes look good. The second he starts throwing strikes in matches it looks like a bad White Collar Brawlers bumper. I'm not sure who decided to start the evening's action with these two tags back to back, but it feels like someone is specifically trying to highlight how poor Rusev and Nakamura are in their current roles, as the Usos immediately step into a cut off the ring situation and work a far more interesting match with the same formula. Shane is a really fun FIP for them and there's a great moment where the Usos shoot him into a rope running sequence with one of them forcing Shane's movement with a dropdown, leading to him eating a lariat the way someone would eat a good spear. Miz has a spirited hot tag that the crowd is hyped for, even coming in with a springboard axe handle, and ends it with him doing a big plancha off the top onto both Usos. I'm not sure I've seen Miz do either of those things, and he's clearly playing to the hometown crowd and they love it. We go into the run that feels like the finish, and Usos are really good at bringing the match back from those moments to get more heat. The whole match builds to a ridiculous spot where Miz is on the mat and an Uso is slumped in the corner, with Shane and the other Uso on opposite buckles. Uso and Shane jumped at the same time and I guess it was supposed to look like Shane intercepting him out of mid air? It looked like two guys trying to avoid each other at the last minute, and then not sure what either was supposed to be selling upon landing. They both kind of held their balls and kicked their legs. It might have seemed spectacular on paper, but it came off confusing and overly thought out in execution, took away from the finish for me. I don't care about, nor do I understand the Shane turn, so I FF my way through. From what I did see, I'm amused that Shane appeared to tighten up his strikes for the first time since his comeback. He threw a couple of closed fist body shots to Miz that were better than any strikes he's thrown in an actual match the past year.

Mandy Rose vs. Asuka

ER: Really excited about this one even though I'm not sure it can deliver to my expectations. I've seen them both (especially Mandy) have such strong house show work, and that doesn't seem to come through nearly as often on TV. I know there's a good match to be had here though. But I fully dig how they start this, doing some quick mat reversals and some nice stuff around a waistlock, ending with Mandy locking in a nice octopus hold that Asuka reverses into an even better octopus. They don't bring many strikes into it until 4 minutes in, thought that was cool. Though once they do get to strikes Asuka comes up too short on what's supposed to be a big knockdown high kick, so that was awkward. Mandy has a couple really nice knee strikes, a great high knee early in the match, and a nice moment with Asuka missing her hip attack and getting hung in the ropes before eating a knee. Finish was a little sudden but had a nice set-up that felt like a Finlay agented spot: Sonya had lifted up the ring skirt at ringside to get a kendo stick from under the ring, and Mandy got reversed into the ropes, slipped on the ring skirt that had been gathered into the ring, and then got to her feet just in time to eat Asuka's heel across the right side of her face. The finish didn't really feel built to, and the match was a bit underwhelming, but the finish was great. They even do a slo-mo replay at the end that felt like the first time you saw Misawa rearrange Kawada's face in slo-mo with an elbow, seeing Asuka's boot turn Mandy's face into a rubbery Jim Carrey expression.

Kofi Kingston vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

ER: This was an angle, not really a match, and the fans hated it but in the way that will make them cheer louder for Kofi when he actually gets his big singles match. So it wasn't very exciting for me to see a 2 on 1 beatdown, and the fans didn't want to see it, but it felt like something that would at least advance the angle. I did like when the crowd was chanting This Is Boring, Cesaro said, "No, this is OVER!" before going for a pin.

Ricochet/Aleister Black vs. Chad Gable/Bobby Roode vs. The Revival

ER: I've been so hyped for Revival this past year, Dawson especially might be my favorite WWE male to watch right now. I like how this turns into both Revival and Roode/Gable working over Ricochet, really wish that would go on for the duration, it's a fun layout you don't often see from a triple threat tag (which is a clunky concept). Ricochet snaps off a nice headscissors and after that it's all him getting worked over. Dawson has a great back suplex, does nasty things like tear at his nose, Gable comes in and snaps Ricochet's arm around by trapping it in his ankles and dropping a knee on it. Gable bumps big for an Aleister front kick, though I think Roode might have been the weakest choice for guy to take all of Black's hot tag offense. I dug the sequence of Gable rolling through the chaos theory German before Wilder hit a top rope splash onto Gable; Black totally made the sequence by flailing all four of his limbs wildly as he was going over for the suplex. WWE guys are almost always really great at setting up those runs of chain smoking offense, where one guy hits a move only to get up and get hit by someone else's move. They aren't easy to naturally layout but someone there must be great at doing so. However, I don't think they're good at all at setting up big spots involving EVERY member of the match. I hate when a match like this devolves into the moment everyone is waiting around for, grinds things to a halt too much and the spot always looks too prepared. Ricochet hits a wild as hell dive over the ringpost, but I think that 6 person spot (Dawson getting rana'd to the floor onto everyone) peaked the match awkwardly and made the finish coming shortly after come off flat.

R-Truth vs. Andrade vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Samoa Joe

ER: What a bunch of dirty dogs, telling me I was getting more Mysterio/Andrade and instead getting another multiman. I actually got the push notification from WWE telling me "Andrade vs. Rey Mysterio kicks off the pre-show!" so I am not sure what kind of last minute call got made or what angle I blew past. The whole things starts off as a pretty great Joe showcase. He was really turning it on, loved his tope onto everyone, his corner chops looked brutal, and his headbutts looked great. Joe appears to be working at 2006 stiffness levels and I know it won't last, but it looks great while we're getting it. Rey is getting as high on offense as ever, and it makes no sense. His hang time always looks so damn elegant, and he makes implausible stuff look effortless, like giving a leaping rana to Andrade and Truth at the same time. My mind blows wide open when I suddenly realize that we've never seen Mysterio or Joe oppose one another until the past couple months. I'm watching them work, watch Joe take a great tornado DDT off the side of his head, and just thinking about what natural dance partners they make...and realize we've only ever even seen them dance together three times, all from the past couple months. Some nice moments down the stretch, Andrade had a gorgeous tornillo to the floor, Vega got involved and you know it was good because she lost an earring, and a lot of the ringwork looked good, but I again thought it could have used more build, and could have gone through a ton more nearfalls.

Sasha Banks/Bayley vs. Nia Jax/Tamina

ER: Boss Hugg would have been such a great name for the tag team, they were this close but they went and fell on their face with their actual name. And this starts off plenty good. Tamina is less offensive than normal, and every quick tag in to Nia is Fia. Tamina would handily carry the brunt of working over Bayley, then Nia would come in and plant her with a powerbomb, and get right back out. I would have liked them building more to Sasha coming in, think they should have had Bayley miss a couple tags first. Tamina is so damn lumbering while taking offense, she moves like she's wearing a suit of armor. Then they go for a spot where Tamina backdrops Sasha into a Nia Samoan drop, but Tamina whips Sasha WAY too fast into Nia and the spot gets wrecked but Nia saves Sasha from a vertical landing, so that counts for something. I did like Tamina's missed charge into the ringpost, so that's something, and Bayley hitting a tope onto everyone looked great, even though it crossed my mind that was the 4th time that near exact thing had happened, and the 3rd match in a row. That's not helping the freshness feel of this show, which has very much underwhelmed so far. I would mess with a Nia/Beth Phoenix feud though. Aw shit, Natalya is involved in it. My sails appear to no longer have wind in them.

Kevin Owens vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Mustafa Ali

ER: Fans are naturally acting like puds because they aren't getting Kofi/Bryan on this specific show, but they're clearly building to that, so it's annoying when they try to tank a different match when they will eventually get what they want anyway. It's like they're turning on Ali even though they were all in Ali's ass like 3 weeks ago. It's this obnoxious thing where the loudest fans in these situations are the ones who think WWE is somehow screwing them and not pushing their favorites, but Kofi is a guy they've been officially flipping out for now for...like a month. People clearly dug Kofi before, but none of these people were clamoring for Kofi to get a long singles run with 8 star matches against Bryan before that. They were shown Kofi was worth getting behind, and then started acting like they somehow weren't getting what they wanted, while thinking they're making a demand against authority, who actually agrees with what they think they're rebelling against. It makes no sense. Anywho...

Bryan's demeanor in these scraps really is incredible, guy leers around the ring and looks like someone with no time for bullshit. Ali is doing his best in a dumb situation and takes an insane bump off the top, looking like he falls forever before hitting the floor. Crowd appears to be less shitty after that. This match obviously would have been much more interesting if it was a singles match between any two of these guys. We've had one singles match on this show and it feels like one of those indy shows that are nothing but 6 man scrambles, and 3 way tag matches. The pacing is totally screwed because every match feels like a variation on the same match. There's plenty of actual great looking stuff in this - Ali hitting a 450 to the freaking apron, Owens almost damn dying flipping too fast on a tope con hilo (and almost smashing his face into the announce desk), Ali bumping his way into shutting the fans up and hitting a big ass high arc Spanish Fly - but the triple threat stip kept taking me out of the match. There's a wild sequence down the stretch where Ali gets shoved off the top and basically does a moonsault landing on his feet to the floor (my poor ankles would be at 90 degree ankles best case scenario), then Bryan misses a leaping knee off the apron, and Ali hits a wicked tornado DDT on him, Bryan whipping super fast into it. But it felt like the actual finish came too quickly after that, felt like Bryan was back in the ring too quick after what felt like a big moment. Him kneeing Ali out of the sky looked like something that should definitely end a match though, so no complaints about what finished, but plenty of complaints about how we got to there.

Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

ER: Charlotte's boots are sick as hell, probably my favorite thing on the show so far. The maroon and gold scheme doesn't go with her magenta gear, which means Charlotte just needs to get herself some damn maroon and gold gear! Maroon is an underutilized gear color (he says, without taking even one second to think about it). And this match was great. Lynch comes out limping and Charlotte mocks her and spends the whole time going after Becky's leg, and it's the best stuff. There are a bunch of nasty short spills that Becky is forced to take, and they do some shots that look like they came straight out of BattlArts, no joke. Little things like Becky kicking at the side of Charlotte's knee from her back, or Charlotte kicking at Becky's knee while standing over her. Honestly it felt like Ikeda vs. Ishikawa in parts, and I realize how stupid I can come off saying that. Charlotte practically dumps Becky onto her head hitting a sliding tackle into her knee, and I'm all in on it. Becky fights in with little cornered animal attacks, Charlotte takes a big bump off the top, and the thought of a figure 8 seems even more exhilarating since Lynch's has had her knee smacked around for a week. Naturally we get a Ronda run in, giving Becky a nasty as hell punch while about to maybe get tapped, giving Becky the win and the Mania appearance. I'm thankful as all hell I remain purposely oblivious to Ronda Rousey Online Activity, so I'm going to also assume that she hasn't done anything stupid this week on the internet. So saying that, I absolutely love her shitty smirk and bad eye makeup as she stands in the corner, and I could see this match being the best match at Mania.

Baron Corbin/Bobby Lashley/Drew McIntyre vs. The Shield

ER: I'm just not caring about this one too much, and that's too bad because Shield trios were my absolute joint in a not too distant past. I don't care about the Shield anymore. It's over. The McIntyre/Roman moments felt like they should have been better, and the crowd is really quiet the whole time. This has been a pretty suck crowd almost the whole night, honestly. It gets better when Dean hits a really nice elbow off the top to the floor, there's a big powerbomb, and they work some decent crowd brawling stuff which was at minimum a welcome change of pace to the cold ring work. Fans do eventually get really into this and there are big spots, a great Roman spear on the floor, McIntyre going through an announce table, and the crowd really loves getting to see all three Shield guys get Corbin alone in the ring. The match eventually came off like a success but it never grabbed me. Maybe my mood was down because I think the PPV almost entirely underdelivered compared to my (reasonable) expectations. This certainly wasn't a bad match, but it felt like it should have been better.

ER: This was a kind of disappointing PPV. That seems kind of harsh, because I don't think there was anything bad on the card. But there wasn't a lot that moved the needle for me. I really got into Becky/Charlotte, even the Ronda finish (even though I still wished there was more match before Ronda), but the rest felt like it had a good amount of nice moments, but not great matches. Felt like a high potential card going into the night, but I don't think this was my fault.

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WWE TLC 2017 Live Blog

ER: So I'm going to at least start this one, but may not be able to finish it tonight. We're going to see Zombi and Author & Punisher in Oakland, and likely have to leave before the show has ended. BUT, I'm interested in seeing this thing live, curious if there are any other things they'll have to scramble around due to the meningitis outbreak.

1. Alicia Fox vs. Sasha Banks

ER: This starts pretty slow but I got into it once Fox started a John Tatum routine. Once she begs off, cries because of a fake hair pull, grabs her lip and screams after taking a dropkick to the face, I was in. The Network annoyingly cuts to commercial in the middle of all dark matches, so we miss more of her antics. I always like rudo Alicia, but her chinlocks could really use some work. She was really loosely holding Sasha two different times. Sasha is outbumping Alicia here, which I wasn't expecting, taking a nice spill off the top to the apron to the floor, and getting dumped by a powerslam to the floor. Fox takes headscissors better than most, long limbs flying everywhere, and I like each of their face kicks. Match fell short of what I think they are capable of. I think Sasha as a babyface works a little too similarly to Alicia Fox, so they might not be the best opponent for each other.

2. Emma vs. Asuka

ER: This starts right, with Emma mocking Asuka's entrance and Asuka violently taking her down and grabbing an arm and a leg at the same time. Emma does a good job vocally working heel and throwing out things that can be reversed by Asuka, though she does lean out of the first hip attack. Asuka is making all of Emma's stuff look good, bumping big to the floor and really face smashing the mat on a curb stomp. But really Emma hasn't been a threat to many people on the roster, she shouldn't be getting offense. The tree of woe work is nasty, and the low crossbody in the corner looked great, but at this point Emma has taken more of the match and it's just a weird WWE thing. Why bring in these dominant people with huge buzz and make them work like mid 80s Brad Armstrong. "Asuka may barely make it to a time limit draw with Jimmy Garvin!" But Asuka's comeback is awesome as she just starts stomping and kicking at assorted Emma limbs and hitting a big missile dropkick. Emma lands a sick elbow to the cerebellum and this match is good in a vacuum, but I don't know if it's the match they should be having. Asuka's ankle lock looks better than the ankle lock of anybody else on this card, and the trap leg German looked boss. As Asuka goes to bring Emma back in the ring, Emma throws her to the floor by her hair and Asuka takes a nice thudding bump. This is literally the biggest showcase match Emma has ever had on the main brand. I can't think of another match where she got this much control. But back in a head kick leads to the choke and win. Asuka looked really great, obviously has a killer look, and I think she'll be fine. They had a competitive match, but it would have been far worse if they just had a bad match. But this was good.

ER: Jason Jordan robs us of an Elias concert, wasting a bunch of fine looking farm fresh produce on him. Wasting fresh produce isn't going to get you over in my book, bub. Corey Graves actually says "We're in Minneapolis, couldn't we have gotten a Semisonic reunion concert instead of Elias?" Is that the Minneapolis band you miss the most? Drop a Lifter Puller or Babes in Toyland reference why don't you. Graves should at minimum like the Replacements, right? Shoot, Bob Mould actually wrote pro wrestling TV. But Semisonic is what we go with?

3. Brian Kendrick/Jack Gallagher vs. Cedric Alexander/Rich Swann

ER: Love the Gallagher/Kendrick team. They both lean into dropkicks and bump big, really the perfect opponents for these two. As I type that Kendrick leans chin first into a Cedric dropkick and flies to the floor. Kendrick is a guy who can really put over things we take for granted, like nice chops. Gallagher gets popped by a (nice) Swann punch from the apron, allowing Kendrick to yank Swann off the ropes and onto his face. Gallagher locks on a snug cravate, grabbing onto Swann's braids, and Nigel talks about his fine Burberry duds. Our heels do a fine job of cheating to cut off the ring, which ends when Kendrick charges Swann and takes a huge backdrop bump over the top to the floor. Kendrick not only yanks Cedric out of the ring to save Jack from a pin, but then catches a leaping Swann into a northern lights on the floor. Back in and Kendrick blasts Kendrick with a couple of great looking kicks and locks in the captains hook, which Swann breaks up with a freaking phoenix splash. Kendrick gets caught with a lumbar check and makes it look better than anybody but maybe Gallagher. I would've liked to see the heels get the win here, but we still got a quality tag, and probably Kendrick's best performance of the year.

4. Mickie James vs. Alexa Bliss

ER: Alexa starts taking apart the arm in cool ways, and that makes this pretty interesting from the bell. She drops a knee on the arm, stands on it while attacking her other arm, whips her arm into the mat from standing position, just being a real jerk. Slap fights are pretty played out in modern wrestling, but I really liked theirs. Even the quick jump direction finally told the cameras to stop cutting on impact once they saw the gals were really slapping. The double KO doesn't totally work as Mickie's kick looked great but Alexa's tornado elbow clearly fell short. But they get up and commence the fight, and this is starting to feel like a street fight (which is a good thing). I'm not sure why the fans are chanting for tables, but I liked how gritty it started to feel. It really felt like James wanted to win that title to set the title reigns record, and Bliss was game to take it to her. Finish looked really good with Bliss faking injury, yanking James by the worked over arm into the buckles, and hitting a sharp DDT. Nothing blowaway on the show so far, but everything has been quality.

ER: Elias sings again and Jordan throws more expensive produce at him wastefully. Quality chard or kale isn't cheap man. Kids are hungry out there. Graves saves himself by making a decent joke about "couldn't we have found a Replacements cover band or something?"

5. Enzo Amore vs. Kalisto

ER: I still don't totally get Enzo, and the match is weird as his mic work is always babyface (one of those grating awful promos that some people somehow like) but he clearly works the match heel which seems to have confused the crowd (which has been really active up until this match). Kalisto takes a nice face first bump into the buckles and Enzo locks on a resthold that is not the worst we've seen on the card. I liked Enzo grabbing the ring skirt to slow down Kalisto dragging him back into the ring, and Enzo's cheap shot and pin were good. Enzo - for all his faults - always is really good on pinfalls. This pin looked like it would have been genuinely difficult for anyone to kick out of, really pinning Kalisto's knee to his own shoulder.

6. AJ Styles vs. Finn Balor

ER: Boy, things don't get a lot dumber than the black face demon. Few things in wrestling have confused me more in their popularity than this persona. Styles is two weeks removed from basically a miracle match, so we'll see how this goes. Styles lays it in nicely on kicks to the chest, hard elbows to the chin and shoulderblocks, really plants him with a backbreaker, really makes his moves count. Finn throws punches past his head, weak kicks to the stomach, you'd think a demon would be a little more ferocious. His flip dive is fine, but even then AJ set it up by bumping big to the floor and then fully catching the dive. Back in he hits a slingblade that barely grazes Styles, and I'm just overall confused by his character. Styles locks on the always cool calf crusher, and I liked Balor slamming AJ's head into the mat a bunch to break it. Styles bumps as if he were taking offense from Samoa Joe, flying off the apron after a blocked springboard, flinging himself wildly into the barrier after a so-so running dropkick. Styles picks him up in a double leg and takes a suicide mission sending both of them sprawling over the announce table in rough fashion. Balor hits a kind of flimsy lifting DDT, and I only know it's supposed to be a big deal because Cole acts like it's something that could end the match. Most of Balor's offense looks so piddly, with Styles have to way overcompensate by dumping himself on his head for a weak as hell falling lariat and then flying into the buckles off another so-so dropkick. At least Balor completely STICKS the double stomp finish. I mean he stuck that landing in a gross way. Styles should have went full on Invader III on that double stomp. Balor would have been made into a megastar and Styles would have looked determined as hell when he came back.

7. Elias vs. Jason Jordan

ER: This "Kurt Angle's son" thing really feels like one of those angles that should be dropped and never spoken about again. But as weak as that angle is, and as stupid as throwing chard at someone is, these two have a weirdly compelling match and unexpectedly good chemistry. Elias throws nice chops across the collarbones, locks in a nice side headlock and works some nice neck cranks and crucifix subs, with Jordan breaking free and dumping him with a cool amateur takedown. Jordan will also fling himself wildly into the turnbuckles (on his own shoulderblocks and to put over offense) and yeah this match totally works. Elias cuts low on missed strikes which will always win me over, and Jordan running around the ring slamming Elias into corners looks great, obviously his belly to belly suplexes look great, and I will always love his running shoulderblock to the gut until he has to get neck fusion surgery. Elias makes his thigh slap a bit too obvi, but the kneelift catching Jordan's jaw otherwise looked killer. Elias gets a nasty bodyslam into the bottom rope (a great spot that has mostly vanished) and the weight shift small package off a suplex left enough controversy for the return match. I had no hopes for the match and it was maybe my favorite of the night so far.

8. TLC Match: The Mz/Sheamus/Cesaro/Kane/Braun Strowman vs. Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins/Kurt Angle

ER: I'll give them credit for using the PPV gimmick for only the main event. My memory tells me they've loaded up other cards with various chair or table matches. I don't remember the last Angle match I liked, but I do like him coming out as a fully dressed member of the Shield. I like the Shield overpowering Team Miz to start, and the attack on Braun was especially nasty. Everybody wailing on him with chairs, including a brutal Rollins shot to Braun's freaking chest (seriously, chairshot to the chest? Ouch). I thought the ladder spot would surely backfire, but they both crash through Kane/Braun, with Dean really smooshing Kane. I like how that sets up everybody else against Angle, as I'd rather see Angle actually selling damage for most of a match than doing offense. Sympathetic hobbled old guy is one of my favorite characters in wrestling, much more compelling than "old guys slowly doing their old spots". Angle taking a bunch of chair and ladder shots and THEN throwing Germans the moment their backs are turned, that's more interesting than Angle being treated as a returning guy who is still on par with the current roster. And it's smart to not have him get a whole lot of offense on Braun, rather have Braun crush him and powerslam him through a table. I think him suplexing Braun would have been incredibly dumb (but I guess the match isn't over yet...). The 5 on 2 heel beatdown is a nice one, and the crowd stays nice and hot throughout. Dean gets powerbombed on a table that doesn't break, so it leads to an amusing spot where Braun throws him through it and makes damn sure that it breaks.

OKAY! Zombi were great, but Author & Punisher totally slayed. I'd seen him once before in a tiny venue and it was awesome, but tonight was other level. He's replaced that Wolf Eyes throb in my ear canals. Wolf Eyes' last couple years has been more ambient less noise. I got into them because of that rhythmic throb, and A&P gives that same throb. That dude feels like he'd be playing the night shift at a seedy bar in a modern Eraserhead reboot. It's a pulse raising blend of industrial noise with metal screech and electronic throb.

So now I can go back to watching this 5 on 3 TLC trainwreck. A garbage truck gets involved, Kane turns on Braun (without siding with Shield, which is a nice touch they could have missed) and chokeslams him off the stage and then yanks a cord and drops part of the Chair display onto Braun's (never shown) body. But soon Braun RISES from that rubble (which is a moment I usually like) and he shoves everybody out of the way to go after Kane! And this match is off the rails but in a pretty fun way. Rollins takes an awesome DDT from Miz and the double team emerald flowsion and the both look match finishing but he gets saved! Angle makes his big return after getting mauled earlier by Braun, and it's gleefully stupid as he gets his entrance music! He tosses some guys with Angle Slams. Miz hits the skull crushing finale on Angle, and it's a real stupid looking finisher but they both played it up so damn well that it made for a great nearfall. Angle gets Miz in the ankle lock and Miz eventually kicks him off, with Angle taking a nasty bump onto his head to the apron and then the floor. This match is officially kicking ass. But Ambrose and Rollins corner Miz, and then Angle gets back in and Miz realizes it's 3 on 1. We get some finishers, and then they do the Shield triple powerbomb with Angle as Roman, and it's the first huge nostalgia finishing move moment in ages. This match felt like the best possible result for the competitors involved. I really didn't care when Angle was announced for the match, and thought he could ruin it more than help it, but he was used perfectly. His usage was minimal, but present in all the right spots, and he executed the role perfectly. The match felt like (what we thought was) high functioning, multiple story ECW main event, and made it work in 2017. Those match totally, unexpectedly delivered for me.

ER: So this was one of those super fun WWE PPVs that don't really seem too exciting on paper, kind of sneak up on you two weeks after another PPV, and then totally overdelivers. Enzo/Kalisto was the only poor match of the night, and even that had a real good - and correct - finish. This was a good PPV.

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WWE No Mercy 2017 "Live" Blog

1. Elias vs. Apollo Crews

ER: I really like the early headlock work in this, like Elias walking up the buckles and floating over in a headlock, Crews holding a tight headlock on the mat. Crews pops up with a handspring and hits a huge dropkick and grounds again with the headlock. Cole relays a story about Elias walking 45 miles just to see Neil Young in Austin, which if true is a better Neil Young story than me telling him I loved "On the Beach" while standing in line next to him at Great American Music Hall's bathroom. Elias sweeps the leg and Crews takes a big bump on the apron. I also liked Elias's mule kick, thought Crews went to comeback too quick but I liked his comeback. Elias has no problem leaning into a yakuza kick, Crews has maybe the nicest kip up in wrestling, and this was another in a long line of perfectly fine pre-show matches. I need to start watching Main Event to see what gems might be on there.

2. The Miz vs. Jason Jordan

ER: I really loved Jordan's recent TV matches with Cena and Reigns, hoping he can continue being a nice 10 minute match superstar. And this starts off good, especially liked Jordan getting dropkicked off the apron and then slammed into the barricade. Rachel is always excellent at spotting Mamrie Hart/Grace Helbig at ringside and also points out Hannah Hart. Women are funny, get over it. Miz has a nice cravate and Jordan bounces on his dome off a DDT. Jordan throws a real nice top rope clothesline, which is not an easy clothesline to do. Most people have a terrible top rope clothesline. Miz gets launched by a belly to belly, the rolling northern lights are still cool, and on the floor he tosses Dallas into the rest of the Miztourage with a belly to belly. Crowd is super hot for Miz and clearly want him to retain, and sure enough when Axel interferes on his behalf the crowd literally leaps to their feet knowing he was winning. These Hollywood Elites just looooooove the A-Lister. Jordan complains ineffectively after the match. He's clearly going heel, soon.

3. Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor

ER: Bray jumps Finn and we get minutes of anguished faced Finn selling his tummy down the ramp whle referees who all look bigger than him offer their support. It's cruel that they're making me watch this match, but also delaying the start of the match. Rip that bandaid off, jerks! But, Finn has a decent baseball slide dropkick, Bray does a tough superplex and Bray headbutting him off the ropes looked cool. Bray weenies out of the follow through on the apron DDT, but Finn gets credit for still winging himself head and shoulder first into the apron. Balor traps Wyatt in the apron and kicks him, and really there aren't many guys less cool than Balor to be allowed to do the Finlay apron skirt spot. But really this whole thing didn't do much for me. Their whole "feud" has been completely missable and pointless.

4. Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

ER: This feud also hasn't been doing it for me, but I like Cesaro going after Ambrose, swinging him into the ring steps and booting him in the face. But I lose interest when Rollins tags in, throwing top rope clothesline over Cesaro's head and hitting a light plancha. Cesaro has a bloody nose or mouth (maybe from hitting the ring post?), and he's really been a nut this match. He even takes a huge backdrop to the floor and yeah he's making this match. Cesaro is also awesome while trying to tap Ambrose, working to keep him away from the ropes, rolling into a crossface. Jeez it looks like Cesaro got his front teeth knocked out. Cesaro powerbombs Rollins off the middle rope ONTO Ambrose which looked killer and really could/should be a finisher. I dug the spot where Sheamus set up the brogue kick but Ambrose fell over before he could hit it. But I didn't really buy the finish of Sheamus being put down by a knee and an okay DDT. Cole/Booker/Graves seem to think this was the tag match of the decade, it felt more like an inspired Cesaro performance and a typical solid Sheamus performance. I still thought Ambrose and Rollins had weak offense and in Ambrose's case it's always set up the exact same way. I thought Cesaro/Sheamus really admirably carried this.

5. Bayley vs. Emma vs. Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss

ER: The rule of matches with odd numbered participants still applies here for sure, but I like the people involved so we'll see if they can have a good match. I love Bliss/Nia interactions, Bliss always cops the best faces during them. Nia being the awesome boss with huge running avalanches corner to corner. The double samoan drop spot is never really believably set up, but the results are satisfying. I love Nia blocking Alexa's DDT and not going down for Bayley's guillotine. Nia takes a bonkers powerbomb bump off the apron and she is officially the boss. How can people still hate Nia? Finishing stretch starts getting hot when Bliss goes for the double knee moonsault and Bayley catches her with a suplex, and we get some good saves. I wish we had gotten a bigger Nia comeback as I was hoping she'd factor into the finish, but I like Bayley being the one making a ton of the saves and then ultimately being the one not saved.

6. John Cena vs. Roman Reigns

ER: The fans are really cool and I believe they start off with a "You Both Suck" chant. It sets up a nice start to the match as Cena plays along and threatens to leave, which allows Roman to jump him on the rampway. Cena is always great at taking bumps around and into the ring steps, so we get some of those to start which allows Roman to start with the advantage. But by the time they go to strike exchanging I realize that I have really gotten into this. It's been fine, but it's been under expectations. It felt like we got to the big kickouts a little early, although the AA off the middle rope looked pretty spectacular. JEEZ Roman reverses the AA on the announce table and spears Cena, but Roman looks like he took the WORST DDT possible. I mean he folded in a totally gross way on that landing. I admit some of the AA finisher spamming has sucked me in, mainly because of how the crowd is reacting to it. I love Cena rolling through the 3rd AA to deliver the 4th, and the crowd reactions are really good. Camera finds a great shot of a kid cheering Cena's inevitable win and then being stunned when Roman kicks out. I thought this was fine, but delivered under my expectations. The finisher spamming was really only satisfying because of the hot crowd.

7. Enzo Amore vs. Neville

ER: I still don't understand why Enzo is on TV as much as he is, but here we go. I have really liked wrestlers with no offense before (like Stevie Richards, or Virgil) but Enzo does very little for me. I enjoyed him a few times as a FIP during tags, but he doesn't bring enough to singles matches for me. I mean, the Beetlejuice suit is cool and all, and he doesn't shy out of taking a beating, but I can't buy him as a threat to anybody. Still, he brings the bumps, leaning into a shotgun kick, flying into the timekeeper's area and upside down into the barricade. His DDT of the top rope was great as Neville returned the bump favor and planted himself. The finish took a long time to set up, but was pulled off effectively. The punt to the balls looked like something that would keep a man down, I just have zero interest in seeing Enzo in more singles matches.

8. Braun Strowman vs. Brock Lesnar

ER: Braun is an incredibly credible challenger to Brock, and him tossing around Brock is great. That powerslam always seems to completely rattle the ring. Lesnar uses that kimura on Braun so effectively, really feels like a great way to attack him. Braun gets suplexed a bunch and I think both men are great at selling both power and fading stamina. Lesnar is good at selling fatigue from the suplexes, Braun is good at selling the suplexes. Graves is good at keeping attention on Braun's arm during Braun's powerslam, and (this sounds like a cop out) but the crowd genuinely seems to be in awe. And then an F5 finishes it WAY earlier than I expected. I was still getting into the match, excited for where it was going...and then it stopped, just like that, and it felt really flat. I assumed there would be shenanigans of some kind, and instead Braun just kind of lost.

ER: The show moved quick, and it managed to be a breezy viewing without me really loving the show. I was banking pretty heavily on the two big matches delivering, and they did not. So the show seems far more disappointing to me than it might have actually been. I had just watched the Braun/Brock/Joe/Reigns match again a couple days ago and was too stoked for that main. And it felt like we got just half a match. It's crazy to me that they've ended SO MANY PPVs this past year on crap non-finishes to main events...but this one ends clean as a sheet. And RIP Cesaro's beautiful smile.

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WWE Great Balls of Fire Live Blog

1. Neville vs. Akira Tozawa

ER: This ended up getting way more time than I was expecting, and ended up being much better than I expected. Tozawa wins me over early with a nice timber sell off a Neville kick from the apron, and later bumps a low kick on his neck. Things ramp up big once Tozawa hits a big tope, then hits another. Corey Graves puts over how Tozawa is using his big head to his advantage. I never thought about Tozawa's head size before. It seems like a pretty normal head. Spot of the match was Neville catching Tozawa on his shoulders, but Tozawa slowly turning a bad situation into a great octopus hold. Awesome pro wrestling spot.  We get a couple nice nearfalls and at a certain point I actually thought Tozawa was going to get the belt. Neville smartly rolls out of the ring after the senton, and I loved Tozawa's face as he scrambled to catch Neville before he rolled away. Titus continues offering nothing to the people he manages, but I'll give him full credit on his great 1994 Golden State Warriors suit/tie/pocket square combo. Another nice pre-show match to start the PPV. These things almost always deliver.

2. Bray Wyatt vs. Seth Rollins

ER: Seth Rollins entrance gear must be modeled after one of the pre-cogs in Minority Report. This is probably the match I'm least excited for, so it's nice of them to get it out of the way first. But a couple minutes in and it's pretty good. I liked the bump Bray took off the apron into the ring steps, and Bray hits the mother of all shoulderblocks to send Rollins into the barricade. Rollins is always vaguely shitty about setting up moves. He always does things to get ready for a spot that are always a little annoying if you notice them, like getting put up on the top buckle and then getting his legs ready for being superplexed without Wyatt touching him. I hate little things like that. Or how Rollins is first to his feet moments after taking a DDT on the apron. Rollins hits his feather soft tope and they're losing me. But Bray's jawbreaker off the top is really great, and catching Rollins with a sly eyepoke over the ref was a great spot, and that Sister Abigail landed hard and fast. Overall an uninteresting but inconsequential match, with a nice finish.

3. Enzo Amore vs. Big Cass

ER: Not a big fan of their tag team, but not really sure what the benefit of them already splitting up. Enzo at maximum was a nice guy to sell for a hot tag. I think both were better together than working singles matches. Cass's big man offense doesn't do a whole lot for me, but I liked his running avalanche and the press slam to the floor looked great. Pretty surprised they didn't even give Enzo any kind of comeback. I don't think he even got a bit of offense. Not that Enzo has good offense, but something? Instead we got 7 minutes of Cass doing some slow Test tribute offense.

4. 30 Minute Iron Man: Hardy Boys vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

ER: A 30 Minute Iron Man seems a bit much. I'm sure by the end of this we'll all agree that 20 would have been fine. But it shouldn't be bad. I do like the heels getting a quick pin and then working a slow pace. It's a smart strategy, and I hope it actually goes somewhere worthwhile. And I loved Sheamus' cover when they went up 2-0, hooking the leg with one arm and counting the 3 with his free hand, big grin the whole time. Sheamus is one of the better guys in the fed at hitting the corner post, his post bumps always look fast and painful. Hot tags are kind of weird when you know how much time is left in a match. Matt's punches still look great in HD, and he takes a nice post bump as well. Iron Man matches always tend to get a really quiet crowd for most of the match, as the crowd doesn't think anything really matters until at least the final third. And sure enough they wake up a bit with 9 minutes left on the clock. Things have been pretty mechanical up until that point, so I can't blame them too much. Great spot with Cesaro going for an uppercut, getting caught by Matt in a backslide, with Jeff tagging in and dropping double legs to get a quick pin. Cesaro save seemed a hair late after the Matt moonsault (has Matt always kept his hands in front of him on moonsaults? Most guys through them back above their head) and as I'm typing that the fans start chanting how the ref sucks. Does WWE still want their refs calling matches "as if they were shoots"? I remember hearing that years ago and it leading to a couple accidental finishes. Fans coming alive at the 2 minute warning, and Jeff flings himself nicely off the top into C&S. Hardys do a clunky dual top rope splash/elbow, and Matt somehow gets busted open from it. I could not tell at all how it happened. He dropped a Bret elbow from the tope (which seems like a good way to jam your wrist or injure your elbow) and came up touching his face, then a second later his face was covered in blood. Did he accidentally headbutt Sheamus? Either way, I kind of liked and kind of hated the Cesaro flash pin on Hardy. In theory it makes sense to surprise Jeff with a pin right after he does the swanton, but Jeff was kicking so much that it looked like his shoulders kept coming up off the mat. Though Cesaro running away afterwards was pretty great. Still, I think this was overall a let down. I seem to be in the minority on that opinion but I'm not sure what I missed that everyone else saw. I thought the Hardys looked kind of sluggish throughout and thought the pacing was off. I liked the match, but was surprised after I looked around and saw a lot of people calling it a classic. It never felt classic to me.

5. Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss

ER: HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT ALEXA'S WEIRD DOUBLE JOINTED ELBOW!? She got whipped nastily into the mat on an arm wringer, and that wonky elbow is such a great trick. After she elbow smashes Sasha she checks her lip for blood while grinning, like some action movie villain. Then these two start targeting each others' kidneys in gross ways: Sasha hits the backcracker into the Banks Statement, Alexa scrambles out to the floor and legsweeps Sasha who falls kidneys first on the apron, then back in Alexa nails her double kneedrop and moonsault kneedrop to the same spot, then whiplashes Sasha backwards into her knee. These two are having a killer little match. I like Sasha waiting until 5 to break the Banks Statement and the cameras really zoom in and that tight grip across Alexa's mouth and nose. Count out finish took the wind out of the sails admittedly. I love Alexa as champ, so I don't hate the end result, but it's a little uninspired. Post match was good though with Sasha hitting her crazy double knees off the ring ramp announce table to the floor, and Alexa catches it great. Both are nuts. We knew this was going to continue, so a finish like this was expected.

6. The Miz vs. Dean Ambrose

ER: I am not very excited for this match, but I'm interested in how Axel and Dallas are dressed. What a strangely dressed stable. Miz and Maryse dress like they're in a Vegas show, Axel dresses like he's an extra in The Untouchables, and Dallas looks like Pigpen from the Grateful Dead. I like Dean's low crossbody, and Miz is fine working over the knee. I'm so conditioned to seeing guys go after the face when hanging an opponent in the tree of woe, that I actively cheered Miz dropkicking Dean in the knee a couple times. Maryse throwing up her arms during the Yes! kicks is great. Dean comes up with a bloody mouth at some point and I again completely missed when it happened. Dean doesn't really care too much about his hurt knee, at least not letting it slow him down when he twice hops over top rope and leaps off it (always selling it once he lands). Interference x3 plays into the finish, and this was what it was, probably a bit better than I expected. Which was not much.

7. Ambulance Match: Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns

ER: Ambulance match is probably better than Stretcher match as far as stips go, but it doesn't usually equate "good match". These two have had plenty of good matches against each other, and all are likely to be better than this. BUT, the stip does at least make sense. All of Braun's early power stuff looks good, but I really get into this once Roman hits the drive-by on Braun's arm, slams the arm into the ringpost a bunch, then bashes it with a chair. Yeah!! Bust up that arm. That's his "throw guys into ambulances arm!!" Strowman starts no selling chairshots like Zeus and all the stuff with them fighting around the stage and ambulance is good. Braun bashes Reigns with a freaking board, Roman gets tossed around on the stage, Braun plows through the LED display and we get all these great LED glitches while Braun lay in the wreckage. Finish makes sense as Roman stupidly runs at Braun and whiffs on the spear, then acts like a sore loser by locking Braun in the ambulance and crashing it. We don't see what happens after as we desperately need to get back to the ring for the important match between......

8. Curt Hawkins vs. Heath Slater

ER: Oh. This match. Wasn't Goldust/Truth supposed to be on this show? This match would feel out of place if it was the main event on Main Event. It must have been a weird conversation with Hawkins when they told him "look, you'll get a PPV payday, and you'll go out there and hold a chinlock for 2 minutes and lose off camera." Oh. Kurt Angle rocking jeans and a blazer like a guy who has done very well for himself and is now just trying to enjoy this wine mixer. We are getting some REAL TIME jaws of life! I was expecting Braun to be gone like Michael Myers, but instead we get valiant babyface Braun refusing the stretcher and walking away with dignity, smearing blood on somebody's slick tour bus. Michael Cole's serious voice, it should be noted, is fucking terrible.

9. Samoa Joe vs. Brock Lesnar

ER: The build for this has been tremendous. Lesnar is an all time great at those sit down promos, and him getting choked purple was an all time wrestling moment, flat out. And this starts great with Joe jumping Brock during Heyman's intro and smashing him through an announce table. Brock always flies through tables with gusto. Guy is a total bump freak, still, somehow. "Brock with vulnerabilities" is one of my favorite wrestling personalities ever. And hot damn this is great, Joe rushes with a back elbow and kick, both men exchange sick knees, Joe throws tons of great mixed jabs in the corner (working the ribs and face), Brock starts throwing mean knees and Joe goes right for the clutch. First german about 90 seconds in, and Joe takes another right on his shoulder. I love when Lesnar uses the suplexes to create space, not to make up the meat of a match. Joe is fighting to win and mulekicks Lesnar's Great Balls while blocking the ref's view, and the fight over the clutch is majestic. Brock's face swells up and changes colors spectacularly in chokes, like Takayama's face after taking a few punches. His face is an incredible pro wrestling tool. Lesnar throws more germans and I urge Joe to stop rolling over, back-to-Lesnar, after each one. Joe grabs the clutch on an F5 attempt, and I love Lesnar trying to shake him off by backing into the corner, but that let's Joe get the hooks on the choke. Lesnar is a freak, and with his air vanishing he manages to pop up, nail the F5, and then lay on the mat catching his breath like a man who almost drowned. I wanted more, but damn was this a great 8 minute fight. They need to run this back.

A very good PPV with a great, unique 8 minute main, really good women and cruiser matches, and nothing outright bad. I live blogged two shows this weekend, and this was the one that didn't feel like anything close to a waste of time. It didn't quite live up to my (admittedly lofty) expectations, and I was excited for a Goldust PPV match (maybe I wrongly assumed it would be on this show?), and I seem to be the odd low vote on the Hardys tag...but this was well worth the time spent.

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WWE Extreme Rules 2017 Live Blog

1. Kalisto vs. Apollo Crews

ER: These pre-show matches almost always deliver, which makes sense as they're a combination of low expectations with guys seemingly trying to get noticed. Kalisto hits an Aerostar-esque 450 from the middle rope to the floor, hopping from inside the ring to the rope on the outside, and crashing senton style into the standing Crews. Awesome. And then he follows it up with another springboard and crashes spectacularly when Crews enziguiris him on the way down. Back in there are a couple of slightly mistimed spots, but all is saved when Crews takes a gorgeous tornado DDT and later hits a huge pop up Samoan drop and a flawless standing shooting star. Kalisto kicking Titus off the apron while hitting the Salida del Sol in one motion was a nice touch to the finish.

2. The Miz vs. Dean Ambrose

ER: First minute or so is total dullsville, and then suddenly something wakes up in Dean and he starts throwing stinging chops on Miz and a huge lariat that sends Miz super fast to the floor. Okay, we're doing this. Miz is great trying to goad Dean into using a chair, and Miz hitting an apron DDT looked real good. Both men tighten things up with Dean actually trying on a couple kicks to the stomach (something he hasn't put effort into in over a year), Miz hits a great dropkick in the corner, Dean levels Miz with his flying elbow to the floor (great timed bump by Miz) and this is definitely better than I was expecting. The fight over the figure 4 is pretty lackluster and I hate that the rebound lariat hits 90% of the time. Finish was logical but couldn't be seen as satisfying to anyone, as ending a match by arguing with the referee for 30 seconds before being hit with a finisher is just unsatisfying. Still, match exceeded expectations.

3. Alicia Fox/Noam Dar vs. Sasha Banks/Rich Swann

ER: Really liked the early Fox/Sasha tangling, Alicia going for a tilt a whirl only for Sasha to reverse to the Banks Statement looked really great. Goddamn do I hate Michael Cole constantly given the directive that black babyfaces "love to have fun!" It's a dumb as hell line that they keep going to, and it never sounds convincing and always sounds insulting. Thankfully the fun hating women get in to break up a pin and yank arms in nasty ways. Sasha hits her pretty spectacular double knees off the top into Dar on the floor and Swann plants the phoenix. This whole thing felt like an inconsequential pre-show match, but was perfectly fine for what it was. Dug Team Swasha's post-match dancing.

ER: I have no clue who Elias Samson is, but shitty guy with an acoustic singing original songs is some pretty immediate heel heat from me. It feels like more of a college heel gimmick but it works as a guy who plays open mics and works 12 hours a week at a coffee shop. Michael Cole almost makes me spit out my coffee after the song, with the hilariously mis-delivered line "That sounds like something that should be on The Ghost of Tom Joad!" Nothing like dropping a reference to Springsteen's worst album, which is also over 20 years old. That's his go-to stark singer songwriter album reference!? Compare Samson to fucking Nebraska or something if you're going old. Shit, do I now have to go back and see if GoTJ has gotten better with age? Whatever, Cole's line could not have sounded less cool. Nobody reacted to it. It was amazing. "That sounds like a cut off of No Jacket Required!!" he says in his voice that sounds like he's recording a video game soundbite. 10 stars.

4. Kendo Stick on a Pole: Bayley vs. Alexa Bliss

ER: Well this couldn't have been more disappointing. Did Miz/Ambrose go way too long and this just had most of the middle cut out? The hype video was longer than the match! I don't tend to use terms like "bury" but damn did this feel like a "Spirit Squad get sent back to OVW" moment for Bayley.

5. Cage Match: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Hardy Boys

ER: Both teams go for escapes right away which is like the least interesting way to work a team cage match, but Cesaro does look awesome running across the ring, leaping up the ropes and springing to the top of the cage. Jeff hits on of the best lariats of his career on Sheamus. Cesaro does the Scott Hall "Bad Guy" pose. Sheamus is the only one saving this with several painful looking bumps into the cage. he really has no problem flying over the ropes into that cage in violent ways. The escape attempts don't do much for me and I'd much rather see violent asskickings and guys getting thrown into the cage, but they win me over once Jeff is dangling from the side of the cage while Cesaro is holding on to only his arm. That looked great. The psychology of team escape cage matches just never makes sense to me, as it seems like the heel team should just let one of the faces escape, and then just kick the shit out of the remaining face for 10 minutes and walk out the door. If they had let Jeff escape 10 seconds in, this could have just been both of them teeing off on Matt with Jeff unable to save. It all just makes no sense. Jeff coming back in to do a dive off the top makes confuses me even more. So is he back in the match? Is he unescaped? Cole says so, and I actually like that. THAT makes me more interested in this. And that rule totally saved the match. Cesaro and Sheamus giving Matt such a beating that Jeff reenters the match, which leads directly to them losing, is a great finish. Matt dragging Jeff for the door while C&S climb over was really well done.

6. Austin Aries vs. Neville

ER: I hate how high Neville cuts on missed clotheslines. Aries is freaking 5'5", he can duck a normal lariat. This gets good once Neville goes after Aries' left arm. Graves is good putting over how Aries is a southpaw and this is going to take his most important weapons away from him. The kicks to the arm look great and the fight to the ring ropes was quality. They lose the magic pretty kick when Aries grabs a guillotine with that same arm that's been beaten to a pulp. Do you know how hard your arm has to work to hold a guillotine? So I did not like that, but then Aries crashes hard on a missed dive and Neville hits a picture perfect red arrow, so I can't complain too much. Still, other than some Kendrick, it doesn't seem like I'm missing too much by skipping 205 Live.

7. Bray Wyatt vs. Samoa Joe vs. Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor vs. Roman Reigns

ER: I wish they had found a 6th man, odd numbered matches are usually the pits. This is okay I guess. There's a lot of movement, so that's something. Bray is doing a nice job of not ignoring the people just lying around selling, always throwing in a kick or stomp whenever he passes one. This is pretty predictably a mess, but the fans have been engaged the whole time which doesn't always happen in formless multimans. They even counted along to Roman's corner clotheslines which made me smile. Roman/Joe do an absolutely terrible phone booth fighting spot. My god those were ugly punches. Does Rollins aim a couple feet past his opponent on every dive on purpose? All of his dives end up looking like really painless slingblade clotheslines. It has to be intentional. At least Bray throwing Joe into a tope looked nice (even if the tope was ugly). This is apparently "Extreme Rules" but it takes 18 minutes for a chair to get involved. How is that possible? The big moment in a lot of these matches is the go go go spot where one guy hits a finisher, then gets leveled by someone else's finisher, and so on. But since this match was tornado style they had already basically been doing that the whole time, so when they went into that mode it felt pretty anticlimactic. Having Joe against Lesnar is at least a new match, so I'm interested, despite not being very interested in current Samoa Joe.

ER: Overall the PPV over-delivered, though Rachel was most excited for the Bliss/Bayley match and that...was really weird. That's like the match that happens before we find out Bayley got a wellness suspension.

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Reigns vs. Braun: A Match History, Part II

5. Braun Strowman/Bray Wyatt/Erick Rowan vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins (Raw 10/19/15)

ER: If I had to choose one word to describe this match, I would choose "sluggish". It was 10 minutes, but really draggggged. This continues the trend of Braun hardly getting involved in matches, as he did nothing in the match for the first 8 minutes, and by the end did no actual moves. He pulled Roman down off the apron, threw Ambrose to the floor, then got Roman into a choke. I really liked how he looked before this, so I'm unsure why they suddenly had him stop working. This was mostly Ambrose working Bray, playing FIP, leading to Rollins leaving with a fake knee injury. Dean was on fire the first minute of this, but just a few minutes in was already airmailing punches a foot past Rowan's head. When Bray locking on a grounded side headlock is the most interesting part of the match, you just move on with your life, admitting to yourself and your family that you chose the dumbest fucking hobby.

6. Braun Strowman/Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose (WWE House Show 10/31/15)

ER: Really fun No DQ house show match. There's tons of loud kids in attendance which makes house shows the best (really the only life situation that loud excitable kids add to my enjoyment of something), just tons of kids screaming for Reigns and yelling at Wyatt. At one point Ambrose gets put through a table and then gets caught with sister Abigail off the rebound lariat. Reigns leaps in from the floor to save him at the last second, and one kid - not trying to start any kind of chant - just screams out "THIS IS AWESOME!!!" And it was pretty awesome. Braun worked slow methodical monster in this one, with some nice moments like standing on Ambrose's knee and ankle while soaking in the boos, then stomping on it. Bray introduced chairs and a kendo stick, all of which got used by everyone. Roman had a bunch of fun superman punches including a great one saving Dean from another sister Abigail. The whole match built to Braun getting speared through a table, which feels like a big spot on a house show. But this whole thing was fun, definitely sent people home happy.

7. 16 Man Elimination Tag: Braun/Wyatt/Harper/Rowan vs. Reigns/Ambrose/Usos vs. Rhyno/Dudleys/Dreamer vs. Sheamus/Rusev/Barrett/Del Rio (Raw 12/7/15)

ER: What kind of a weird mess of a match is this!? Tommy Dreamer was in WWE a year ago? They were actually collectively called Team ECW?! This is such a weird match. It was the opening segment on Raw, and starting Raw with a match is weird enough, but starting it with some sort of 1997 Gang Warz elimination match is even weirder. And then The Wyatts are the first team eliminated when Dreamer pins Rowan with a DDT. But this thing is a total cluster, a kind of fun cluster, but a total cluster. A member for each team is in the ring at all times, so there's bodies just constantly getting in the way of each other. Del Rio is oddly spirited in this, stiffing up Team ECW with these cool low yakuza kicks (like a yakuza kick, but thrown to a seated opponent) and taking a couple big bumps. Rusev sells way too much for everybody, the Dudleys do a bunch of old bad spots (I like when Bubba is unprofessionally stiffing people, not so much his "working a minor league baseball stadium" style), Usos work stiff as well with some nasty uppercuts, Reigns has a fun/silly segment where he does a superman punch to three different guys on the apron. Not all at once, but Wade Barrett would get on the apron, and get punched, then ADR would climb up on a different side of the ring, and get punched, and so on and so on. This match had over half a Royal Rumble worth of dudes, and it happened, because.

8. Braun/Wyatt/Harper/Rowan/Sheamus/Rusev/Barrett/Del Rio vs. Reigns/Ambrose/Ryback/Usos/Dudleys/Kane (Tribute to the Troops 12/8/15)

ER: A much, much, much better version of the 16 man match from the day before. We drop the elimination stip, make it 8 on 8, Kane and Ryback replace Dreamer and Rhyno, and everybody works pointlessly stiff for the least watched WWE TV special of the year. This isn't really a Roman/Braun show, as they only have one moment together (Roman superman punching him while he gets Kane in his standing side triangle) but it's a hot 10 minutes. Harper was a standout here, throwing beastly palm strikes and ambushing Ambrose with a great superkick, Kane throws his nice uppercuts and gets out of the way, Ryback is dressed like the most gassed Bushwhacker, I don't remember any moment where any League of Nation member is in the ring, and out of everybody that could have taken the pin, Luke Harper takes it. Also, the Dudleys are still around, and take up time in 2015 doing the Wazzup drop, and it occurs to me that at this point there are thousands of fans who have never see any of the Wazzup commercials, and only know this as a thing that the Dudleys do. The reference is so old, it has now become their own. It would be like a team in 2000 doing a Where's the Beef double team flapjack, with a crowd of children screaming Whhhheeerrrrreee's (as the guy went up for the flapjack) THE BEEF (when he hit the mat). It would be like someone considering retiring their Austin Powers catchphrase-based offense in 2012, but then taking it out for another spin. Though I do look forward to someone doing a Borat "My wiiiiiife" bronco buster in 2022.

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Reigns vs. Braun: A Match History, Part 1

I've really been loving all of the Roman Reigns/Braun Strowman feud, and am really excited for their upcoming match at Payback. I thought it might be a fun idea to go back and look at all the times these two crossed paths, leading up to the Payback match (which is sadly happening in the bay area, on a weekend I'll be visiting my sister in Phoenix).


1. Braun Strowman/Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/Chris Jericho (Night of Champions 9/20/15)

ER: Some rando in a flak jacket jumps into the ring right when they're about to announce the mystery opponent (Jericho), Bray was really great with a "Is that your guy!?" reaction to the babyfaces. Dean was trying to hold back laughter and that's probably not what they wanted, but I'm amused. Michael Cole is in full desperation "What a moment!" selling Jericho's participation. JBL mentions Jericho working for "Riki Tenryu" as a junior heavyweight. Announce crew killing it. Match itself was plenty of fun. I had never seen Strowman before and he was a kick. I'm kind of a sucker for big lugs and this guy is pretty mammoth. Really impressed me standing next to Harper. That is a two man team I wouldn't mind seeing more of. I loved Strowman's finisher as it really looked like he was squeezing the life out of Jericho. Jericho's legs dangling was a great visual, like fucking Darth Vader choking out a dude. Luke Harper is so damn good, he really should have been given the ball. These teams work together nicely and it always just serves to piss me off that they broke up both teams as we could still be in the middle of awesome trios, with some new members being added or cycled out.

2. Braun Strowman/Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns/Randy Orton/Dean Ambrose (Raw 10/5/15)

ER: A match that could have been much better, but was plagued by some sloppy performances (Orton in particular), some guys getting in the way (more guys altering their "run path" than normal), but a really terrific early Braun performance. Braun is definitely the best thing about this, as the faces regularly team up on him to try to take him off his feet. There's a fun early sequence where Orton dropkicks him, then Reigns/Ambrose do a double shoulderblock to knock him through the ropes to the floor. Later, as the match is breaking down, he eats a dive from Dean, then a superman punch, then Ambrose leaps onto his back from the apron; Braun stands up with Dean on his back, then runs him over the rail and into the timekeeper's area. Ambrose took some big bumps off lariats throughout, there were some nice cut off spots (really liked Reigns setting up the spear but getting punched in the back of the head by Bray), Braun also takes a great post bump, Harper times a superkick *perfectly* on Reigns, and the match ended up being really "house show" fun.

3. Braun Strowman/Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns/Randy Orton (Smackdown 10/6/15, Aired 10/8/15)

ER: A continuation of the "how do you even take Braun off his feet!?" story. Orton and Bray match up nicely but briefly, with Bray stiffing the hell out of him while Orton is draped on the ring apron, blistering his back with a clubbing shot and hitting a yakuza kick to the temple. Orton basically disappears from the match after that, as we get an extended run of Braun/Roman. Roman hits a bunch of lariats to try to knock him down, then goes for a samoan drop which Braun escapes from with a heavy back elbow. Roman manages to kind of trap Braun in the ropes, and begins wailing on him, hits a great kick to the chest and then hits the superman punch to knock Braun to the floor, and Roman follows by attacking Bray and hitting the drive by on Braun. Bray ends things quickly by lobbing a chair at Roman, getting the DQ. Not actually sure where Orton went as everybody just forgot about him, but this was more fun.

4. Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns (Raw 10/12/15)

ER: Watching all of these back to back really highlights how often JBL talks about Bill Kazmaier and Jeep Swenson when talking about Braun, and how he always acts like he's coming up with those names on the spot. "The more I think about it, the more Braun reminds me of Jeep Swenson...except I don't think Swenson had the athleticism of Strowman," JBL says for the 4th Braun match in a row. It's like a decade ago when I was chapter skipping through the Lesnar DVD and realized every Brock entrance started with Tazz going "Well...Here comes the pain!" in the exact same way. And this match didn't not work, but it didn't totally work. They repeat a lot of stuff from their prior week Smackdown tag showdown, and there were a couple clunky spots in the middle of really great spots. It's weird as in his Night of Champions match, and that Raw trios up above, Braun does a lot of offense, but in these last two matches he's basically in the Giant Gonzalez or Zeus role of taking all offense, and just staggering around in place without going down. And Braun isn't really great at staggering around, he's way better at explosive short burst offense. Braun does lock on a nice cravate (that kind of kills the crowd for a bit), and the ending is great with him taking a huge backwards bump over the announce table, spilling nastily to the floor and getting counted out. The bump was really wild and pretty unexpected, but the match weirdly felt like a step back.


We'll get to Parts 2 and 3 before Payback on 4/30!

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WWE TLC 2016 Somehow Ended Up Being a Live Blog

I'm not going to really attempt to stay live on this one, but still wanted to see the show. So I'll be a little more pokey than normal. The brand extension and its ushering in of seemingly weekly PPVs is the bane of Rachel's existence.

1. American Alpha/Hype Bros./Apollo Crews vs. Vaudevillains/Ascension/Curt Hawkins

ER: Leave it to Mauro to call out a battle of the Edgeheads. Mojo debuts a "Hammer Time" fist drop that is genuinely so stupid that it might be the very thing to get him over. Every single person in this match is super vocal. There is constant chatter going on. It's like every Barry Darsow gimmick having a multiman tag against themselves. Viktor still works really hard which is pretty impressive considering how things have gone for his team ever since the NXT call up. Him matching up against Gable was fun and the flapjack into a superkick looked impressive. Crowd is mic'd really well, feels like you can hear really strong reactions, but they all sound individual, not just bulk roars. It's like it's mic'd in stereo. I was really enjoying the scenic pace things were traveling at, but you can tell immediately when they got the "everybody's finishers" signal which is kind of a bummer. This could have easily gone 20, just trim some time from the kickoff show. Hawkins runs nicely into a Crews high kick and suplex from the ring to the floor was cool. Nice little kickoff match.

2. Randy Orton/Bray Wyatt vs. Heath Slater/Rhyno

ER: Here's four guys I really didn't care much about several months ago, who I could see having a good match. And I love all the stuff with Slater on the apron. He gets totally upended by a lariat to his legs, and then gets almost alleyooped back into the ring right into an Orton powerslam. Rhyno looks super orange here. Curt Hawkins looked super orange in the first match. Are these guys trying to subtly play to Vince's Trump boner? Especially Hawkins, with his orange glow and swept back hair and spreading of facts that are in fact nothing close to factual. Oh and things ended while I was rambling. That felt quick.

3. Nikki Bella vs. Carmella

ER: Love people pointing out Nikki's MMA braids. So awesome. They both have their hands and wrists wrapped too. Carmella's figure 4 headscissors is a great spot, especially with her grabbing her own foot. Though Nikki's stick shot to break it up could have looked way way better. But she more than made up for it with that roundhouse kick off the barricade. Carmella ran right into it, too. The boot into Carmella's shoulderblades to set it up was gross too. Man Nikki really went out of her way to fire extinguish Carmella's ass and vagina. Her finisher was literally set up by an extended icing down of Carmella's asshole. Which, would probably leave someone fairly vulnerable, so, sure.

4. Ladder Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

ER: This starts nicely with a bunch of fast work, especially loved Ziggler trying to grab a ladder under the ring and getting blasted by a through the ropes dropkick. All of their stuff fighting around an upright ladder looked good too, and then Ziggler takes a great drop toehold into a ladder. This is good! We're almost 10 minutes in and haven't gotten any silly climbing spots, which is refreshing. This is more ladders being used as weapons, and guys taking spills into ladders, which certainly comes off more painful. Setting up the propped ladder in the corner spots was a little wonky, but the Ziggler elbow off the top looked nice. Once they start climbing and falling I lose some interest, thought things were going way better during the first 10. Miz hears me complaints and starts slamming Ziggler's knee in the ladder a bunch, then locks on a vicious figure 4. Ziggler gets a little medodramatic on the superkick attempt but I appreciate what he was going for and liked how it lead right to the SCF on the ladder. Miz dangling from the belt and getting a ladder smacked into him was novel and Miz sold the hell out of that knee. Maryse as a second has been really fun and I love her selling Miz' knee injury not with a flip out, but more of a "awkwardly sucking in through teeth". And I love that horizontal ladder in the corner callback spot, with Dolph getting powerbombed into it. This was good for 10 minutes, lost its way a little bit, and has now come rushing back to being real good. Miz limping up a ladder while Ziggler does pull ups up his ladder was suuuuuper overwrought but kind of wonderful pro wrestling. And Rachel predicted the finish before the match even started by saying "Well Ziggler never wins, so that can't happen right?" When she's right, she's right. This match was real good. And then Miz calls Maryse over to the apron to help him with his bad wheel, and that's awesome as Dolph is just fetal position crying on the ground in the background.

5. Chair Match: Kalisto vs. Baron Corbin

ER: The feud that's been driving all those new Network subs! This starts really fun though, with Kalisto using speed to stay a step ahead while Corbin sets up chair spots that backfire. The opening was really cool David/Goliath stuff with Kalisto trying to spin kick a chair into Corbin but Corbin wisely just letting go of the chair, then rushing Corbin with a chair but Corbin just holding his arms out to catch it. Corbin chokes him on the floor and wings him upside down into the barricade by his neck. Corbin hits a high slam in the ring and sets up tons of chairs, and Kalisto hits a short rana into the set up chairs, then hits a massive Thesz press off the top sending both through a bunch of set up chairs. This is unexpectedly really great. Kalisto flies to the floor with a dive and Corbin catches and just plants him with a brutal backdrop. We get some fun stuff with Corbin chasing Kalisto with a chair, and Kalisto dodging shots, but then Kalisto throws a chair at him and hits a nice rana off the barricade. Back in and Kalisto does a moonsault kneedrop onto a chair/Corbin and my god these guys are really trying out there. Crowd does not care. But they're wrong. Kalisto bashes Corbin around the ring with a chair, but then leaps into a nasty shot when jumping off the top, and Corbin hits a nasty end of days on a pile of chairs which had to be no walk in the park for him either. This far far far exceeded any kind of expectations. Both guys were nuts.

6. Tables Match: Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch

ER: The rules of a table match seem pretty weenie after the two matches that just happen. Those matches had chairs and ladders being used as weapons, and people taking rough spills into both, and now this one is built around avoiding one bump through one table. But we shall see. Becky is good about bouncing her face off various surfaces for Bliss offense. Liked the mini curb stomps, and in general whenever a move requires a face to be whipped into a mat, Lynch goes in fast with a nasty whip motion. Tough for me to get into this one as it's based all around avoiding the one big bump instead of just taking tons of big bumps. It's the escape the cage vs. violent cage match problem. They do start winning me over with that sick DDT on a flipped over table, with Lynch technically taking it but Alexis going back first over the table brace. Becky is real nasty about bending Bliss' arm through the table legs in painful ways. And then Bliss flies ribs first into a table edge and on replay it doesn't look as good but I'll pretend I didn't see that. And yeah this mostly didn't work. Building to one bump that was not even a top 10 impressive bump on the evening just isn't a really satisfying match to be handed. They did about all they could with a kind of limp stipulation, but that doesn't make it any more interesting.

7. TLC Match: Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles

ER: Styles is working OT in this one. Everything in the first few minutes is Ambrose lightly doing things that requires AJ to fly recklessly into ladders, across tables and into chairs. Dean caps off the half-assery with the lightest running lariat to the back of AJ's head. I don't know how AJ even knew how to bump for that. But this does just continue to evolve into a real AJ show. He's bumping like mad and throwing himself so impressively through everything. But Dean amps it up about 10-12 minutes in. His jab/chop combo is the best it's looked in ages. But this is the Styles show, baby, and not just talking about the ever widening split in his tights revealing more and more of his buns. He takes a wild bump through a table but can't stop there as we also get him doing a balls out (maybe soon with those tights!) springboard 450 to the floor through a table, crashing through Ambrose and face planting into the floor. This dude is nuts. James Ellsworth comes out and gets booed as they liked the match just fine as it was. Styles takes a nutso fast flipping bump off the ladder and to the floor, and then Ellsworth turns on Ambrose and shoves Dean off a ladder through two tables, leading to the Styles win. Boy, Ellsworth. That guy is still around. It's weird when somebody good gets over on their own and WWE flips out and cuts their legs out, but then someone like Ellsworth gets over and WWE pushes them more than anybody ever actually wanted.


Well this ended up being a really great show that went by super quick. Some of these PPVs have been total never ending slogs but this one was paced just right. Miz/Ziggler and Kalisto/Corbin were great in totally unexpected ways, other stuff was kept inoffensively short, and really only the tables match left me sorta flat. Can't actually remember the last PPV I enjoyed as much as this one.

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WWE No Mercy 2016 Live Blog

ER: This show is happening not too far from me, Sac is under a 2 hour drive. But I was oddly in Sac last night seeing the band SURVIVE, and really had zero interest making that drive again like 12 hours later. I'll be seeing NXT in Sac in a couple weeks, which means I'll have made more trips to Sacramento this month than in all of the last 5 years.

ER: Boy that Curt Hawkins promo was pretty rough. What a strange person to bring back to TV. Give him a decade old Chuck Norris Facts gimmick, and let him cut a promo that sounded about as smooth as some of those early NXT "cut a promo about this random word" promos.

1. American Alpha vs. Hype Bros. vs. Vaudevillains vs. The Ascension

ER: This was fairly dull until the match closing car crash spots that all these guys are good at. Jamming this many guys into a short match means nobody gets much of a chance to shine. Some guys got some individual moments, thought English got some nice stuff. He's a lanky big guy who takes suplexes really well, so he's ideal to bump around for Jordan. Viktor is better than he usually gets to look, loved the timing on Konnor yanking Gable off the ring apron. I would have liked to see AA treated as a bigger deal in this match before getting the win, but they were mostly absent through the first 3/4 of this. Again, just a flaw in match structure/time allotted.

2. Dean Ambrose vs. John Cena vs. AJ Styles

ER: I usually dislike 3 ways but I think I always end up liking Cena in 3 ways. His selling and strength based spots always come off well in the broken structure. But so far this just doesn't seem that good. Flimsy springboard elbows are making people disappear until it's their turn to hit a flimsy springboard elbow. The 10 knuckle shuffle couldn't have been set up much worse, and couldn't have looked much worse. Guys go from selling death after *performing* a move, to then moments later doing a move of their own. I do like Cena blocking AJ's low superkick by swatting it away like my cat swatting away catnip tennis balls. And I love how over the calf crusher is. And suddenly the bell rings as AJ taps while taking a calf crusher and STFU simultaneously. I have zero clue what happened there because the match just keeps going. So AJ is still in the match because both guys got him to tap.....which means nobody actually beat him? My god this is colossally stupid, no matter how much the announcers try to explain that this is a totally normal call. And a chair gets used about 20 minutes into a match that they've been proclaiming is No DQ from the very beginning. My god this is so stupid. I cannot even imagine what the hell a live crowd would think after seeing this, with no announce crew explanation. They watched Styles tap, heard the bell, and then the match just continued. How confusing, and bad.

3. Nikki Bella vs. Carmella

ER: Boy this match is not good. Every move by both looks like it's landing a foot short. Nikki whiffs on dropkicks and hits a pillow soft "tackle", Carmella whiffs on a superkick. Carmella seemingly taking bumps way early does not help Nikki. As I'm typing that Nikki hits a really nice running elbow that spins Carmella into the mat, and Carmella's headscissor submission looks really great. And now it's over. Well that stunk.

4. Usos vs. Heath Slater & Rhyno

ER: Man heel Usos soooo goooood. Just what the doctor ordered. Face Usos were getting real stale, and this has really reinvigorated them. All their strikes look far more vicious, and I love all their double team strikes. One distracts, the other rushes with an uppercut; one holds a shoulderblock in the corner, the other jumps in with an elbow to the jaw. Also amusing that a lot of the heat is on Rhyno so far, which leads to a nice comeback spinebuster. Heath has a fun hot tag and that powerslam off the top was awesome. Usos do their great superkick to the knee and that Rhyno lariat while an Uso had the tequila sunrise looked sick. Nice, satisfying tag match. Between the lousy first couple matches and my Network freezing 5 times already, I needed a good one here.

5. Jack Swagger vs. Baron Corbin

ER: Fun short power match. Lariats hit well, Corbin got flung around for Swagger's slams. I don't have a whole lot of interesting stuff to add to this, but I enjoyed it. Corbin's swing dancing finisher is pretty silly though.

6. Career vs. Title! Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

ER: Surprised they didn't put this one last since you don't often get matches where someone's career is on the line. WWE isn't really a big stip match fed so this actually feels like a pretty big deal. And this whole thing was laid out pretty terrifically. I had minor issues with some of the offense, but you had to figure ahead of time that the offense wasn't going to be good from either guy. Early I liked how they used Dolph's nice dropkick as a way to surprise and cut off Miz offense, and the finishing stretch was awesome. The leg selling was hammier than a Cosctco recall, but right after he rolled through the skull crushing finale and reversed into his sleeper choke I was hooked. The Maryse spray spot was done great, and the Spirit Squad run in and toss out was timed perfectly, right at the end of the match so that everything blew up for Miz. Argue about the result all you want but the fans were dying for Dolph by the end.

7. Alexa Bliss vs. Naomi

ER: God Mauro is annoying. "Say, don't you think Alexa Bliss looks like Harley Quinn?" I wish JBL spent longer running him down for his pandering. "Inspired by the Last Dragon, there's another reference for you John." So he's clearly self aware that his references are constant, and dogshit. JBL vs. Mauro might build to the only interesting announcer vs. announcer match in history. Bliss throws a great forearm and is definitely one of the best heels in the fed when it comes to screaming at refs/her opponent. "You're not on my level Naomi. I don't even like you!" I was really liking this up until the really rushed flash finish. It really did a disservice to the rest of the match which could have built nicely. Unless they plan on having Bray/Orton go 45 (heaven help us) then there's really no reason we had to end things like they did.

8. Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

ER: None too excited for this one, and they aren't doing anything to make me more interested. They are definitely having a match you'd expect from Orton and Wyatt. Wyatt seems like he's only 3/4 committing on his moves, looks really sloppy. Like he starts the move and then Orton just has to finish it, even though it looks like there's nothing behind it. That apron DDT was the worst offender. He just kind hopped to the floor and Orton had to DDT himself. The missed senton on the steps looked nice though. Orton dropping him back first over the apron was a nice touch. But then Harper returns right as I'm getting into the whole thing. Still, Harper coming back should be great for Smackdown. He could and should really thrive there. (though I'd really like him not associated with Bray any longer)

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WWE Backlash 2016 Live Blog

ER: Found out a PPV was happening tonight, Phil said the card looked like junk but I had no idea what the card was, so he urged me to GO IN BLIND!! Smackdown has kind of overperformed since the draft so even with the card looking bleh on paper I'm hoping to maybe get surprised by it.

ER: Pre-show has some pretty great moments, like Lawler just completely shitting all over Dolph Ziggler, followed by Lita shitting all over Ziggler, followed by the table unanimously deciding that Dolph is a total failure.

And Slater/Rhyno were flat out great doing a Q&A. Rhyno had some great dry delivery, answering a "how have you been getting ready?" with "All sorts of things. Water aerobics at the community pool. No more community pool after tonight though." With Slater butting in, "That's right I'm getting my above ground after tonight." They played off each other soooo good and came off with a real nice natural, easy charisma. No overly scripted, unfunny "comedy", just them being themselves and being funny. Great segment.

1. Apollo Crews vs. Baron Corbin

ER: Didn't really care much for the opening of this, but once they started dropping big moves on each other and bumping all over the place, the final 3 minutes got pretty hot. Both guys have some fairly unlikely offense, but they both committed to the offense and made it work. Crews bumped big off Corbin's cool grounded chokeslam, the Crews' fallaway slam/samoan drop on the floor was sick, Corbin hit a massive spinning backdrop, and yeah, the big moves won me over. Still can't really get much of a feel for Corbin, and he's a guy I've now seen several times. It's weird.

2. Becky Lynch vs. Natalya vs. Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Carmella vs. Nikki Bella

ER: These matches always seem like a total mess. They're always a jumble, people always get crossed up, and then suddenly all the eliminations happen at once. And that's pretty much true of this. But it had some moments. It was easily the best I've seen Alexa Bliss look, and she showed more personality than any other gal in this. Usually I think she looks fairly inept but he backflip knees actually hit for once, she lobbed a great knee into Becky's face, nicely held onto the top rope to prevent the neckbreaker/powerbomb that eventually finished her. She was a bright spot I was not expecting. And then the eliminations flew fast and pointlessly. Natalya looked awkward as hell in all her exchanges with Naomi, like she was trying to make Naomi look bad, except Naomi looked fine against everyone else. Becky Lynch really does nothing for me. Nikki was mostly underused here. Carmella tried but needs more time (I liked her quick elimination on Nikki and her slapping Lynch though), and yeah this whole thing added up to not a whole lot.

3. The Usos vs. Hype Bros

ER: Usos were due for a heel turn, I like it. Ryder looks like he's making the most of his newfound 2016 PPV time, really busting ass this match. His slingshot splash was great, crazy missile dropkick off the apron, weird but painful looking bump off the apron to the floor. Loved Mojo's running all the way around the ring double shoulder block after the Ryder dropkick. But Usos on paper as a heel team sounds better than execution so far. I'm sure they'll get better at it. Their heat segment wasn't too compelling and they don't have tons of heel stuff to fill time yet. They've been working fired up babyface for like 6 years now, it'll take some adjusting. That flying superkick to the back of the knee is a sick finisher set up though. That move is nasty.

I feel guilty fast forwarding through Connor's Cure segments.

4. Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

ER: Well this was really good. This is one of the best Miz performances I can recall ever seeing. Ziggler was kind of along for the ride, but Miz slayed here. Loved Ziggler owning him on the mat, always going for that sleeper choke, and I buy the sleeper from Ziggler. In fact I think the period I enjoyed Ziggler the most ('09 or '10) was when he regularly used that backpack sleeper as a near-finish. In my brain I'm picturing a series of matches he had with Kane of all people, where he really effectively employed the sleeper. So we get some rear chokes to start and then later came back to some great stuff with the sleeper. They were given a lot of time here, and made the most of it. Miz was super aggressive and broke out some stuff I've not seen him do. Those running corner dropkicks were devastating. Ziggler breaks out his great chest first bump in the corner. I dug Ziggler setting up the famouser by doing a little sliding shin kick, dug them fighting on the floor with Ziggler muscling up and lugging Miz back in the ring to avoid a countout. But I really wish they had just let Miz win clean instead of the normally out of the way Maryse interfering. The entire announce crew already tossed Ziggler under the bus before the show, and Miz is hotter than he's maybe ever been. Let the dude get a win. Still, really good match.

5. Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

ER: Of course it's Kane. And they tried and Wyatt busted his ass, and at least Wyatt was presented as Kane's equal the whole match, not as someone scared of the unstoppable monster. They went out and had probably the best match they could have had. Wyatt breaks him down with a chair, the senton through the announce table was awesome (even though Kane was the next one to go on offense), and I thought overall Wyatt came off good here. But really this was just a way to occupy Bray until Orton is healthy again. So whatever.

I have no clue who those two guys were who AJ talked to, but one of them looked exactly like current Rhyno, minus 100 pounds. Look at the nose, eyes, facial hair. That is Rhynito.

6. The Usos vs. Heath Slater & Rhyno

ER: Maybe the Usos just needed one match as heels under their belts to start catching on, because I already liked them more in this match. Slater gets predictably cut off from Rhyno, and I especially enjoyed one Uso choking Heath in the ropes while the other runs and uppercuts him from the floor. The match itself really wasn't much, but it went in the right direction. Heath has certainly earned a big moment over the last couple months, and the Usos are going to be far better served in the American Alpha feud. So Usos and AA will get to tear it down for a few months, while Slater gets a nice moment in the sun for a few months on top. Okay match, great result.

7. AJ Styles vs. Dean Ambrose

ER: Styles as been an absolute king over the last few months, so I'm greatly curious to see what he can do here against I guy I loved for years, but who's stock has dropped more than maybe anyone over the last year. And Styles is really making it work. It's wisely worked with Dean doing minimal offense, as even at his indy match best he was never known for his offense, but the last year has seen him lob some of the flimsiest offense in WWE. So AJ - who has some great offense - works him over,  kills him with elbows (that diving one to a seated Dean was awesome), Dean flies wildly into a turnbuckle, AJ keeps at him, works him into some weird awesome calf/ankle crusher in the corner that leads to some nice leg moments (love AJ working a leg lock when Ambrose starts booting him in the face), with AJ rolling through into the awesome calf crusher. I miss that period when every WWE main event had a submission alternate finisher. That Brock Lock and Lasso from El Paso were the best. The calf crusher is a totally believable finish, and I did NOT see Dean just grabbing and bouncing AJ's head off the mat to break it. THAT is an awesome way to get out of a sub. God does AJ sell that catapult on the apron, just shoulder tackling that ringpost. And then things start to get wild. That vicious 450 with Styles practically over-rotating his face into the mat only made it look like he was whipping his body as hard as possible into Ambrose, and then AJ goes on a tear illustrating how he's made every single opponents' offense look amazing ever since arriving in WWE (well....except Jericho. He really couldn't salvage that offense). AJ gets booted to the floor and flies ass over elbow, then takes Dean's weak tope better than anybody else. Most people take Dean's tope and absorb it, which kind of highlights the lightness of it. AJ acts like it throws him off balance, which in this case sends him over the announce table. I realllllllly wish AJ had ducked that damned rebound lariat, but at least he bumped it big. And I love the kick to balls -> Styles Clash finish. It's a way to somehow win deservedly, while also being a royal asshole in winning. He could have likely just kicked him in the stomach and got to the same conclusion, but he went balls. Styles is awesome. Total ace.

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WWE Summerslam 2016 Live Blog

ER: Figured I would do a live blog of this since I'll be watching it, at least until I get too annoyed at the Network freezing on me (I think it really runs like garbage on my PS3, likely would run better on a PS4, but fuck that support my old media!). PLUS, we gotta leave at some point to go see Chastity Belt and So Pitted in SF. Seem to remember we were also going to a concert during the last WWE PPV (that's right, Gun Outfit. Sheesh that was already a month ago!?) but I swear we usually aren't this interesting. The idea of going out on a Sunday night usually terrifies me into thinking I'll be a work zombie the rest of the week. So who knows how much of this show I'll be getting through, but I'll try.

(Apparently there was some sort of a tag team scramble even earlier than the awesome Sheamus/Cesaro match, guess I didn't rewind far enough. Probably won't be going back for that one.)

2. Sheamus vs. Cesaro

ER: Really like the hot fast start with some big Cesaro uppercuts, Cesaro flipping out of a Sheamus powerbomb, a big Sakuraba leaping double stomp by Cesaro, and Sheamus getting clotheslined to the floor. Cesaro nicely blocks the apron forearms by muscling Sheamus' arm off his chest and tossing a headbutt to the neck. Sheamus goes after the taped up arm and shoulder and Cesaro is always good at selling a limb. These two are laying it in nicely. Love Sheamus blocking a short arm lariat by just tossing out a back elbow. They do some really fun struggles around a vertical suplex and end up both tumbling over the top off the apron and to the floor. These two are really laying it in on the pre-show! Sheamus gets dropkicked off the top, and the struggle keeps happening throughout. Guys going up halfway on moves, forcing the other to lift the weight, not the type of stuff you can do with just anybody. Sheamus hits the rolling senton off the middle rope for somehow only a two. These two are getting ridiculous on the pre-show and the crowd is picking up on it. Cesaro hits a beast of a lariat, then climbs up to the RINGPOST, jumps from the post to the ropes and does a springboard crossbody. What the hell! Finishing sequence is cool too, with Cesaro dropping down to his back during a brogue kick to try and catch the leg for the sharpshooter, but Sheamus kicks him away, tosses him into the post and hits the brogue kick anyway.

PAS: These guys really killed themselves on a pre-show to get over, especially on a show filled with such BS. It had a very WCW vibe to it. Hope this best of 7 is as good as Booker v. ?, and I hope Finlay gets involved somehow too. That turnbuckle springboard was awesome looking and I can't ever remember seeing it before, I wonder if Cesaro is going to break out something new for every match. Sheamus sure isn't because he has been doing the same stuff for a decade, still it is pretty cool stuff done with some real violence. Liked the catching of the brogue kick and the thumb to the eye. Fun stuff and I imagine all seven will end up on our list somewhere.

3. Enzo & Big Cass vs. Chris Jericho & Kevin Owens

ER: Not a big fan of the two teams but I'm digging it after the first 3 minutes, especially the Owens/Cass stuff. Cass lands some great body blows in the corner and then Owens starts kicking him right in the knee cap. Jericho's douchey facial hair works for him and Owens making fun of Enzo's shitty footwork made me laugh. Enzo seems like a guy who has only been wrestling for like one month sometimes, but he makes a real effective FIP. Owens' trash talking is used nicely when he's taunting a FIP, and he makes Enzo's stuff look plausible by charging into boots. Jericho intercepting the hot tag was killer. I could see him setting it up but I love Enzo getting knocked silly in mid air, inches from a tag. Jericho also realizes Enzo landed too close to Cass, so kicks him hard back out of the corner, so Owens can fly out of nowhere with a frog splash. Cass hot tag is pretty clunky, not entirely his fault as Jericho is super sloppy in his set ups. Cass does hit a nice big boot on Owens and later takes a fantastic ring post bump. Jericho looked horrendous once the hot tag portion set in (you know, once the match start moving quickly) and nearly beheaded Enzo on the finish. Owens flapjacked him into a codebreak and Jericho was slightly late, Enzo basically had to get his head snapped back over Jericho's knee.

4. Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks

ER: That is an excellent robe on Charlotte. I was really liking their fighting on the top rope, LOVED Charlotte stretching Sasha out and jamming that boot under her neck, loved Sasha kneeing her way out....but have no clue what the hell happened after that. I have no clue what move was supposed to happen, or what it was supposed to look like, but Charlotte goes for a side slam off the middle rope and looks like Sasha's legs catch and Charlotte just bails, like when I dropped a butcher knife in the kitchen and all my limbs go out as I just leap bakwards away from the dropping knife. Sasha's legs bounce off the top and send her headfirst into the mat, because I guess you can't have a big Sasha match without her dumping herself or getting dumped onto her neck at the worst angle. They have another ugly little flip over reversal segment not long after and maybe they need to slow it down a bit or something. But then they kind of shut my mouth a bit by doing a few fun quick segments in the corner, and build to a wild splash mountain rana reversal off the top. Loved Charlotte doing the Flair flip in the corner onto the apron and then kicking the hell out of Sasha's leg as she charged in, and jeez then Sasha does the double knees from the middle rope to the floor? Nuts. Kinda wish the finish would have happened when Sasha reversed natural selection in the Banks statement. I really loved the fighting over it, loved Charlotte trying to reach the ropes while also trying to break the hands over her face, loved Sasha pushing off the bottom rope. The stuff immediately following it felt a little formless. But, I did like Charlotte rolling the BS into the pin, even if I think putting the title back on Charlotte this quick is tremendously stupid.

5. The Miz vs. Apollo Crews

ER: Maryse's outfit is awesome. Not many people can pull off essentially a white swimsuit with a police hat. Damn this is an IC Title match? This feels like a pre-show opener if I've ever seen one. I don't know much about Crews, but I like how he leans into Miz's kicks and plants on that fast DDT. Ohhhhhhhhh Crews is Uhaa Nation. That makes sense. I don't know why I didn't recognize him. Stupid me. Crews' standing moonsault is really impressive and while it was kinda dodgy I liked his little cradle roll through pin. And then Miz hits the skull crushing finale for the clean pin. That move never fails to look like the weakest move of any match.

6. AJ Styles vs. John Cena

ER: Really liked the first few minutes of this, loved AJ getting cocky and outquicking Cena, loved Cena catching a bragging AJ with the soupbone right. I think they went to an apron suplex way too early but I like all the stuff immediately after that, with AJ taking a big backdrop and Cena punching him around, and I love the sloppy Cena dropkick (helped no doubt by AJ flying into it like AJ). The Pele kick was placed great and the crowd is way into this. Cena's doing that weird thing where he just starts pulling moves out of his ass, lifting AJ up for a powerslam but doing basically Big E's finisher. Loved Cena's doing a drop down to try and grab AJ into the STFU, and AJ dropping Cena across his knee looked great. Cena's so damn big that it just looks wild to see a big lug getting dumped neck first onto a knee, he really just crumbles differently. AJ misses the 450 like a champ, like a guy who was practicing it into a swimming pool instead of actually just doing it onto a hard surface. Good lord AJ.

So I'm loving this match, and we gotta be like 20 minutes in.......and I can feel them losing me. We go into some hardcore move trading sections. And it's tough because I keep going back and forth, as sometimes something looks really great, but then it's just immediately ignored because the other guy has to do his move right back. I love Styles' calf crusher, but then Cena just rolls into the STFU as if he hadn't been in the calf crusher for 30 seconds. Styles hits the big forearm, but Cena lifts him into the AA. The fans are going apeshit so they're obviously doing something right for the 15,000 paying human beings, and the pop for Styles reversing into the clash was great.....but it seemed like a switch kinda flipped and they went into the "make a bug eyed shock face after every kickout, breath hard after hitting your big move" without much of a warning. It was weird, because it was really good in a lot of ways. Both guys are stars, and the crowd was reacting to them like stars, and the moves themselves looked incredible. Styles got tossed a mile with the AA, the forearms looked awesome off the top rope, everything looked great....but it's also a style that bugs the holy hell out of me. I'm chalking it up as a win. It felt like a great version of a style that usually turns me off. But I never got completely turned off. The first half was great, and the finishing run was a big match finishing run.

Now, the fact that it wasn't the main event, and tons of matches still have to follow the match, that's a whole different bundle of problems. If the crowd manages to stay hot through the rest of this show, more damn power to them. I'm conflicted, guys. But my gut still says thumbs up on this one.

7. Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods vs. Doc Gallows & Karl Anderson

ER: I will always love Jon Stewart, even when he goes out there knowing he's going to bomb. There's something quietly dignified about delivering material you're supposed to deliver, knowing it's going to be bad, and doing so professionally. I also skipped past any promos or build or anything so have zero clue why the Club came out with jars of urine. The tag match itself was put on in a death spot on the card. Crowd is predictably exhausted after the last match. Gallows is working like Barry Darsow which is amusing because I notice this right as Cole is talking about Demolition. Kofi's unicorn shoes are great and Woods has been on fire in the match, dug his fast dropkick to a draped-over-the-ropes Anderson and that long distance springboard elbowdrop. I really have no idea what any of the storyline stuff is going around this, not sure why Stewart is back, not sure what the pee jars are (Corey Graves called it formaldehyde?) but Gallows gets obliterated by Big E and I'd want to see a singles match. Him taking the belly to belly on the floor and then flying into the barricade was the best part of the match. Match was nothing.

8. Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose

ER: Boy this one ain't holding my attention. I am wondering if any match will be able to resurrect the post-Cena/Styles crowd. They do some things I like, both can take a ringpost bump, their missed crossbody was sloppy and good, Ambrose's punch chop combo looked nice, the way Dolph kinda spiraled into the center of the ring while taking them; but overall it's not doing a whole lot for me. Though I do like Dolph setting up a superkick with a headbutt. That's...a million times better than setting it up with his usual shitty flailing. Ziggler's 12 to 6 elbows look horrible. Rebound lariat is such a fart sound spot at this point. I hate so much that it's in every match, and I don't think I've seen anyone do a decent job of occupying themselves while they wait to get hit with it. I didn't care for most of this.

9. Naomi, Carmella & Becky Lynch vs. Natalya, Alexa Bliss & Nikki Bella

ER: Oh man the Eva Marie stuff is genuinely funny. I had no idea how they would acknowledge Eva Marie's suspension, but I'm very happy they kept doing what they're doing. Watching the women's matches with Rachel is always great, as she somehow knows more about what's going on with their lives than I do, and also adds fine commentary on their looks and gear choices. When I said "Man that's a big reaction for Nikki" she goes "well she's been out rehabbing a really serious injury" right as Ranallo starts explaining the same thing. Then she points out how horrible Becky's mesh body suit is, combined with the unfortunate crotch area of her pants. She's also a huge Naomi fan, and I can't blame her for that one. I love Naomi. Bliss hits a killer back handspring double kneedrop. Silly set up but love the end result. Carmella seems very much not good. At least Nikki is smart enough to switch her finisher and stop doing the rack drop. This match mostly did nothing for me. I'm getting more excited for Chastity Belt and So Pitted with every match.

10. Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor

ER: So as some of you know I'm currently two years behind on NXT, so I have no clue what the hell this whole Demon King thing is about. It feels about one tick removed from some of the more embarrassing Jeff Hardy entrances. And does he really wrestle any differently than just regular non-Al Jolson Finn Balor? He seems like he wrestles the same. The announce crew says it's him tapping into a dark side but....yeah, not seeing it. Same ol' Balor/Devitt, same loose elbows, same flimsy shoulder tackles. I liked a couple of Rollins' knee counters, but these two just seem like a bad match for each other. And it looks like Rollins broke out the small package driver but right after that Balor is up and running around like a dungus. All moves for everybody!! Superplex no sold! How can I be expected to buy anything when nobody is selling!? This stunk. No drama, no build, feels like all the complaints about Cena/Styles are tenfold more appropriate for this. This was just each guy tossing out every move they know and not bothering to structure them in any sort of interesting order.

Alright, Miz in a chicken suit removing his chicken glove to slap Col. Ziggler made me laugh. And Ziggler's tearaway suit and Col. Sanders ring gear (with cuffs!!) made Ziggler so much more interesting than he's been in ages.

11. Rusev vs. Roman Reigns

ER: Well I'm sure this is what most people wanted out of this one, right? So weird to have them work a PPV main event on Raw, and then have their match thrown out on PPV. The pre match brawl was awesome, Rusev jumps him and as they tumble to the floor Reigns nails a backfist, stairs get thrown, Rusev gets dumped into the ring crew corral, then the superman punch as Rusev was getting resurrected. I was getting into it. But there must be some sort of "insider" hoo ha that I don't know about. And Lana wore her finest ice princess attire and everything. But hot shit that might have been the greatest spear in the history of spears. We have Goldberg folding Kanyon in half....but yeah this one tops it. Reigns flying down the ramp and just blasting through him.

12. Randy Orton vs. Brock Lesnar

ER: Alright, next day and I just watched this, and I liked it. I think a lot of people hated it. I don't know how I feel from a booking standpoint, but from a presentation standpoint I liked it. Lesnar gets a lot of hate now, and the barrage of Germans can be disappointing when I know he's capable of more, and he gets certain benefits that nobody else gets...but I love the differences that he brings to the table, and I'm not sure what will stop me from loving the differences. Eventually I assume we'll get a Brock opponent that is more competitive within the match structure. I have no idea who that person will be, but the moment will be enormous. I love the ways Brock has been "taken out" so far in matches where he did go down, like how he essentially got blown up during the 3 way earlier this year. I thought this match had some killer moments, including all or Orton's comeback moments. The RKO on the announce table was awesome. The draped DDT was awesome. I was really hoping to see the punt land, see how Brock reacted to it, but alas. Orton took a furious beating here. Both of those tosses into the announce table looked nasty, the clubbing looks like he will be as tenderized and bruised as a human can get the next day, and then there's the matter of those two elbows right to the side of Orton's head. I can't even explain them. Was the plan for Orton to get busted open? There's no way that elbows thrown that violently wouldn't bust a person open. Brock looked like he was treating Orton's head like a watermelon that needed to be opened without utensils. Just the biggest arm possible crashing into it, and Orton bled and bled, dripped blood. Is Orton such a crazy wrestler that he said "hey bruh, the match has to end in a stoppage, so just blast me with elbows!" That...couldn't be what happened, right? And I guess I like that kind of mystery that Lesnar brings to things. The foolish 8 year old questioning if something is real or not. But the main differences I love about him is he doesn't wrestle like the accepted WWE Performance Center style. He falls differently, he strikes differently, he moves differently. Orton hit him with a dropkick and Lesnar kind of spun out on a knee. No rapid flat back bumps. He tosses mammoth knees into the corner, and throws strikes without predictable timing. The timing of stuff just looks so much different than everybody around him, that I can't help but be entertained. There IS an ingrained disappointment, because I know the guy has a smart wrestling brain, and I know these matches COULD be better. I know he has it in them to craft a better overall match that still delivers the end, pre-decided goal. He could have taken the punt here, but been positioned to get a foot barely on the ropes, or could have been punted while one  leg was already barely under the ropes. There was more they could have done, and it can be frustrating since it would have been easy to add those extra moments to the match. But I can't deny how excited I still get for the vibe Lesnar brings.


Well, Sheamus and Cesaro killed themselves on a pre-show that I'm not even sure WWE keeps available on the Network after it airs, and for their effort they easily landed on our 2016 ONGOING MOTY LIST. I really wanted Phil's opinion on Styles/Cena, but he refused to watched it :)

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