WWE No Mercy 2016 Live Blog

ER: This show is happening not too far from me, Sac is under a 2 hour drive. But I was oddly in Sac last night seeing the band SURVIVE, and really had zero interest making that drive again like 12 hours later. I'll be seeing NXT in Sac in a couple weeks, which means I'll have made more trips to Sacramento this month than in all of the last 5 years.

ER: Boy that Curt Hawkins promo was pretty rough. What a strange person to bring back to TV. Give him a decade old Chuck Norris Facts gimmick, and let him cut a promo that sounded about as smooth as some of those early NXT "cut a promo about this random word" promos.

1. American Alpha vs. Hype Bros. vs. Vaudevillains vs. The Ascension

ER: This was fairly dull until the match closing car crash spots that all these guys are good at. Jamming this many guys into a short match means nobody gets much of a chance to shine. Some guys got some individual moments, thought English got some nice stuff. He's a lanky big guy who takes suplexes really well, so he's ideal to bump around for Jordan. Viktor is better than he usually gets to look, loved the timing on Konnor yanking Gable off the ring apron. I would have liked to see AA treated as a bigger deal in this match before getting the win, but they were mostly absent through the first 3/4 of this. Again, just a flaw in match structure/time allotted.

2. Dean Ambrose vs. John Cena vs. AJ Styles

ER: I usually dislike 3 ways but I think I always end up liking Cena in 3 ways. His selling and strength based spots always come off well in the broken structure. But so far this just doesn't seem that good. Flimsy springboard elbows are making people disappear until it's their turn to hit a flimsy springboard elbow. The 10 knuckle shuffle couldn't have been set up much worse, and couldn't have looked much worse. Guys go from selling death after *performing* a move, to then moments later doing a move of their own. I do like Cena blocking AJ's low superkick by swatting it away like my cat swatting away catnip tennis balls. And I love how over the calf crusher is. And suddenly the bell rings as AJ taps while taking a calf crusher and STFU simultaneously. I have zero clue what happened there because the match just keeps going. So AJ is still in the match because both guys got him to tap.....which means nobody actually beat him? My god this is colossally stupid, no matter how much the announcers try to explain that this is a totally normal call. And a chair gets used about 20 minutes into a match that they've been proclaiming is No DQ from the very beginning. My god this is so stupid. I cannot even imagine what the hell a live crowd would think after seeing this, with no announce crew explanation. They watched Styles tap, heard the bell, and then the match just continued. How confusing, and bad.

3. Nikki Bella vs. Carmella

ER: Boy this match is not good. Every move by both looks like it's landing a foot short. Nikki whiffs on dropkicks and hits a pillow soft "tackle", Carmella whiffs on a superkick. Carmella seemingly taking bumps way early does not help Nikki. As I'm typing that Nikki hits a really nice running elbow that spins Carmella into the mat, and Carmella's headscissor submission looks really great. And now it's over. Well that stunk.

4. Usos vs. Heath Slater & Rhyno

ER: Man heel Usos soooo goooood. Just what the doctor ordered. Face Usos were getting real stale, and this has really reinvigorated them. All their strikes look far more vicious, and I love all their double team strikes. One distracts, the other rushes with an uppercut; one holds a shoulderblock in the corner, the other jumps in with an elbow to the jaw. Also amusing that a lot of the heat is on Rhyno so far, which leads to a nice comeback spinebuster. Heath has a fun hot tag and that powerslam off the top was awesome. Usos do their great superkick to the knee and that Rhyno lariat while an Uso had the tequila sunrise looked sick. Nice, satisfying tag match. Between the lousy first couple matches and my Network freezing 5 times already, I needed a good one here.

5. Jack Swagger vs. Baron Corbin

ER: Fun short power match. Lariats hit well, Corbin got flung around for Swagger's slams. I don't have a whole lot of interesting stuff to add to this, but I enjoyed it. Corbin's swing dancing finisher is pretty silly though.

6. Career vs. Title! Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

ER: Surprised they didn't put this one last since you don't often get matches where someone's career is on the line. WWE isn't really a big stip match fed so this actually feels like a pretty big deal. And this whole thing was laid out pretty terrifically. I had minor issues with some of the offense, but you had to figure ahead of time that the offense wasn't going to be good from either guy. Early I liked how they used Dolph's nice dropkick as a way to surprise and cut off Miz offense, and the finishing stretch was awesome. The leg selling was hammier than a Cosctco recall, but right after he rolled through the skull crushing finale and reversed into his sleeper choke I was hooked. The Maryse spray spot was done great, and the Spirit Squad run in and toss out was timed perfectly, right at the end of the match so that everything blew up for Miz. Argue about the result all you want but the fans were dying for Dolph by the end.

7. Alexa Bliss vs. Naomi

ER: God Mauro is annoying. "Say, don't you think Alexa Bliss looks like Harley Quinn?" I wish JBL spent longer running him down for his pandering. "Inspired by the Last Dragon, there's another reference for you John." So he's clearly self aware that his references are constant, and dogshit. JBL vs. Mauro might build to the only interesting announcer vs. announcer match in history. Bliss throws a great forearm and is definitely one of the best heels in the fed when it comes to screaming at refs/her opponent. "You're not on my level Naomi. I don't even like you!" I was really liking this up until the really rushed flash finish. It really did a disservice to the rest of the match which could have built nicely. Unless they plan on having Bray/Orton go 45 (heaven help us) then there's really no reason we had to end things like they did.

8. Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

ER: None too excited for this one, and they aren't doing anything to make me more interested. They are definitely having a match you'd expect from Orton and Wyatt. Wyatt seems like he's only 3/4 committing on his moves, looks really sloppy. Like he starts the move and then Orton just has to finish it, even though it looks like there's nothing behind it. That apron DDT was the worst offender. He just kind hopped to the floor and Orton had to DDT himself. The missed senton on the steps looked nice though. Orton dropping him back first over the apron was a nice touch. But then Harper returns right as I'm getting into the whole thing. Still, Harper coming back should be great for Smackdown. He could and should really thrive there. (though I'd really like him not associated with Bray any longer)

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NXT 228 6/26/14 Review

1. The Vaudevillains vs. Matt Sugarman & T-Perkins

Fun but very brief Vaudevillains showcase. This was the best I've seen Gotch look, not only with his forearms and a great knee he dropped to Perkins' (not TJ Perkins) temple, but he broke out such a wonderful spot that I really didn't care what happened the rest of the match: While grounding Perkins with a headscissors, he then rolled through and started doing clapping pushups while still holding the headscissors around Perkins' neck. Stupendous. No idea who Sugarman/Perkins were, but I liked how Perkins faceplanted a drop toehold.

2. Xavier Woods vs. Bull Dempsey

This is Dempsey's "debut" (he worked a Mojo squash a few months back) and I liked him. They push the "fat old timey strength" thing way too hard on commentary, acting like he's Da Crusher running with beer kegs instead of just a fat guy who is fat. But he has a great side headlock and was doing some interesting little things with it, and then I was sad when they stood up and rope ran because I was still interested in the headlock. But then Woods threw an armdrag and Bull awesomely grabbed a side headlock mid armdrag so that when they landed he was back to holding the headlock. Sold. I am sold. He threw a nice elbowdrop, ran face first right into a Woods kick (Woods really scrambled him right across the eyeballs with that one), and yeah, I'm a fan. Nice debut, and a nice job by Woods setting him up.

3. Summer Rae vs. Becky Lynch

This is Lynch's debut and my oh my was there some Irish flavored cringing to be had. She doesn't much resemble the orange haired steam punk you're used to seeing; instead she's got subtle reddish brown hair, and garish irish green flared chrome pants with matching bralette. But she does this ghastly Irish riverdance jig all through her entrance, all through the match, just all over the place. And it's not just the goofy as all hell jig, but she actually sings along to it. She doesn't sing words, but she approximates the sounds of an Irish fiddle jig, so she does this embarrassing jig while awkwardly blurting out "dee-da-dee da-diddly diddly-dee", over and over again, like she was verbalizing Finlay's theme song. I felt so bad for her. Match itself was short, but fine. Summer is a great heel, and Lynch looked good whenever she wasn't doing her jig. She ran into a spinning Summer kick and rolled around holding her jaw, dropped a nice leg, big exploder. I'm actually surprised she got the win as there was a great nearfall (Summer kicked out as late as possible) and I thought that signaled that Summer was definitely going over. But, no. NXT is full of surprises. Now no more dancing. Or sing-dancing.

4. Colin Cassady vs. Sawyer Fulton

Fulton is back with his ridiculous dance pants and Capezios, but I liked his brief little run here. He threw a great front kick and awesome shoulders to Cassady's stomach in the corner. Not a lot of guys really jam their shoulder into the ribs in the corner. Fulton runs nicely into Cassady's big boot. Cass has good intentions with his leaping elbow, but lands a little sawftly on it.

Enzo Amore comes out post-match, returning from his broken leg, and proceeds to do the same routine that he is currently doing 2 years later on TV. This....has already gotten old. Sylvester Lefort and Marcus Louis looked awesome in their shitty ultra tight white lifting shirts though (with embroidered French flags!).

5. Adrian Neville vs. Rob Van Dam

So, I actually liked this. This was not something I was expecting to like. But I liked this. That sounds really undercutting, "hey! I thought this would be totally terrible and it wasn't!" but I'm not intending it that way. I just don't tend to get excited for 2014 Rob Van Dam matches, for SOME reason. That's a bold limb to stand on. This match is smack dab in the middle of his 2013/2014 WWE comeback that you don't remember a single thing about. And the match totally works, with RVD working subtle heel with dated offense against the new him. The match still had typical RVD faults, but there was something almost captivating watching an older, slower but still athletic RVD work old indy spots that were novel 15 years before but slow and clunky now. They do an early mirror exchange straight out of his Jerry Lynn matches and it seems so out of place in a modern setting that it's like a switch flips during the post flippy standoff and he just pops Neville in the mouth. Neville did a great job selling RVD's stuff, taking a mean spill on the preposterous "balance on these ropes while I dropkick you" and getting laid out by a stiff rolling thunder. 

When it's RVD's turn to sell he does a surprisingly adequate and at moments genuinely impressive job. At one point Neville hit a mule kick that staggered RVD, and it was meant to get him in position for a sliding dropkick. RVD staggered back from the kick, dropped to a knee, shifted his gaze down as he held his stomach and then made it appear as if he got naturally blindsided by the kick. It couldn't have been timed better and he couldn't have occupied himself better waiting for the kick. This was a far cry from an opponent bending over at the waist while waiting to take a Booker T axe kick. RVD keeps things interesting from a vet vs. upstart standpoint, and vet vs. upstart is an all time favorite story of mine. The little cheap shot punches, the abandoning of his traditional cocky finger pointing when he realized he might be in over his head, it was somehow a generous performance, while also one where he took 70% of the match. I wasn't expecting to enjoy this, but it was really good and easily my favorite match involving RVD in at least the last decade. What a pleasant find.


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NXT 227 6/19/14 Review

1. Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss

Another match furthering the BFF angle, with Charlotte and Summer bickering at ringside leading to a distracted Sasha getting rolled up. Bliss is very much not good but she's clearly trying, she's just super klutzy and not ready for TV. She seems like she almost falls over on every move she attempts, just constantly off balance. Sasha looked good when the match allowed her to, loved her surfboard as she set it up by yanking on Bliss' hair and smacking her to get ahold of her arms. Other little "not actually offense" furthered her likeness to Stevie Richards, like her just grabbing a grounded Bliss by the back of the head and smacking her forehead into the mat. But yeah, there's trouble in the BFFs.

2. Mojo Rawley vs. Garrett Dylan

I was wondering when Jody Kristofferson was going to pop up, after they showed his dad in the crowd a show or two ago. This is not the first time I've seen a fed act like Kris Kristofferson just happened to show up at their event, without mentioning his son was wrestling. And Regal was amusingly harsh on Kristofferson, saying "Mojo Rawley versus...well, essentially a nobody" and pointing out that anybody who wears brown trunks surely doesn't care about their appearance. And this was your typical Mojo match, which is frustrating as it really doesn't do him favors to just work the same formula every match. His matches are always 2-3 minutes of opponent control, then him running through his moves to the end. If we mixed up the order a little bit we could have a more interesting ebb and flow, instead of just waiting until the point where he starts hitting moves. He is not good a taking a beating, although he at least attempted to sell body work that Kristofferson did, so that was welcome. Kristofferson threw really great body blows and had some nice old Arn Anderson type moves, like short knee lifts or stomping the mat while pressing Mojo's face to his knee. He was also real good about absorbing Mojo's stuff, and Mojo hit a killer flying shoulder tackle, really smacked into him. This was fine.

3. The Vaudevillains vs. Angelo Dawkins & Travis Tyler

This is the debut of the Vaudevillains and I love how absolutely giddy Regal is about guys essentially working carny strongmen gimmicks. Fans are flipping out too, and really it is a wonderful gimmick for these two. English is super talented so it will be great to see him actually winning matches. Gotch is a guy who I've actually seen from the very beginning, as I was there live over a decade ago for his very first pro wrestling matches as Psycho Seth in APW. He was terrible. He clearly didn't get it. Outside of a bad "psycho" gimmick (which only involved wearing Hot Topic jeans with an anarchy symbol on the leg while grinning "evilly"), there was an impression that he just didn't get pro wrestling on a deeper level. In maybe his first match he busted his lip open, and there was a little blood, and a couple people were showing some concern. And then he went on the APW message board and let everybody know he was okay, he had just bit his lip. Before that people had been wondering if he had taken a couple of stiff shots, gotten busted open hardway, but no. No he had to let people know it was just an accident. The only other post in the thread was somebody saying "Dude. Kayfabe." He jumped to Modest and Morgan's promotion PWI a year or two later as Ryan Drago, and still seemed like a guy who just didn't get it. Once PWI shuttered I completely lost track of him, and was absolutely shocked when I looked up who Simon Gotch was. I cannot believe he kept working for the next decade, plugging away, getting seen, and ended up in WWE. No matter what I thought/think of him as a wrestler, that's dedication and I have nothing but huge respect for that. This match is clearly a showcase for the Villains, I'm not even sure Dawkins gets tagged in. English looked really great, got crazy height on a legdrop, finished with a nice senton, and I love some of their double teams like the uppercut to back of the head into a quick snap Aiden neckbreaker. Excited to see them develop, although I wish we got more Aiden singles stuff, hopefully the team still allows for that.

4. Kalisto vs. Tyler Breeze

Wonderful little match that felt like a tight short match, and then you realize it got 11 minutes. Both men were so good at their roles and it was paced so well that an 11 minute match turned into a 5 minute WorldWide classic. Kalisto gets matched up a lot with big guys, but Breeze grounded him better than any of them, and most importantly knew how to take Kalisto's offense the best I've seen. Breeze does some fantastic detail work, and there are two specific spots I want to highlight: Kalisto's kip up rana and Kalisto's handstand headscissors. Breeze made these spots look unexpected, stealth and effective, when especially in the case of a man standing on his hands before clamping a headscissors, is an impressive accomplishment. A handstand headscissors is something that requires boatloads of cooperation, and often looks very cooperative. Breeze was able to distract himself, look off balance enough, that the look of surprise when he walked into the headscissors was perfect. Later as Kalisto is on the mat, about to do the kip up rana, Breeze makes his way towards him and makes sure to throw a darting glance over at the crowd, so that his head is turning back towards Kalisto as he's throwing the rana. It made Breeze look totally unprepared and surprised by the move, even though it was clearly the spot, and those kind of details make a match click on such a higher level. And the rest of this is really good too, as Breeze grounds Kalisto with headlocks, and Breeze is a guy I've noted as being good at headlock work in a match. He was good at trying to smother Kalisto and Regal was good at noting that, even pointing out different names for the different kinds of headlock leverage he was locking in. Kalisto had some cool locking stuff, loved his fast tornillo quebrada. And some of his feints when evading Breeze were cool, like a silly little quick handstand vault off the top rope to sidestep him. Ending is killer as Breeze whips Kalisto into the ropes, Kalisto holds on, Breeze stutter steps as he notices Kalisto held on, and when Kalisto tries a quick springboard move Breeze blasts him with the beauty shot. I was way into this match, Breeze is really busting butt these last couple months.

5. Tyson Kidd & Sami Zayn vs. The Ascension

It's a shame this match was actually just an angle/Tyson Kidd heel turn because the match we got was really damn good, maybe Zayn's best performance in a match this year (which covers some nice ground) and definitely the best overall Ascension performance. And no, that's not meant in a backhanded way, I really liked both Ascension in this and Viktor especially looked great. The story goes, that Kidd and Zayn are teaming up because they've both had rough luck lately, so they got their little slumpbuster team, recognizing that the singles belts aren't working for them so maybe combine forces! It makes sense and it's a fine kayfabe reason for two guys to team up for the first time. But the way they have Kidd turn is stupid, as Zayn is taking quite a beating from Ascension, and Kidd gets jealous of Zayn's ring time, actually saying something dumb like "oh, so you want to take all of the match?" and then walking away when Zayn would have been able to tag. Before the angle kicked in we had a nasty fight between Zayn and Viktor, with Zayn hitting his stuff better than ever (his crossbody off the top was perfect) and Viktor working fast and vicious, throwing great strikes, planting Zayn with a back suplex when Zayn tries to tag. Konnor would come in with nice stomps and man now I'm really upset that it wasn't built up as a proper tag match. The first 5 minutes of this are so good! They easily could have had a full match, had Kidd and Zayn lose, and then Kidd flip out afterwards. Instead Kidd comes off lame, jealous of Zayn for taking too long of a beating. Have him turn on Zayn as he blames him for the loss, not because he was jealous that he wasn't in there hitting flippy moves. Zayn is distracted, Konnor hits an avalanche, Fall of Man is delivered and taken brutally, but man now I just wanted the actual match. What could have been.


Good show this week, and next week we get RVD!! Nobody wanted that. I had completely blocked his 2014 return from memory.


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WWE Money in the Bank 2016 Live Blog

So to start the live blog, I'd like to address an extremely embarrassing and unfortunate coincidence. A few days ago I needed something to post for that day (still somehow keeping up with our post-per-day minimum almost two and a half years later) but I was at work that day and leaving directly from work to go to a concert in Oakland (John Carpenter LIVE!!! My god), so wasn't going to be able to write anything new. So I scoured my drafts for something and found several Jerry Lawler reviews that I had written 3+ years ago. I read them through, they seemed quality, so I posted a couple. The next day - to my horror - I went on PWO for the first time in a couple days and immediately saw a thread about Jerry Lawler being suspended indefinitely under accusations of domestic violence, news that would have been broken BEFORE I posted those reviews. Yeesh. So I just want to make it clear that I WAS NOT taking any sort of stance, no silent support for Lawler, nothing weird. I was just "lucky" enough to post something about him the same day as the news came out. I could have posted those damn reviews any day over the last three years, but I just happened to need content on the day THAT news breaks. Good grief. So, if for some reason anybody out there was icked out by my poorly timed Lawler post - and to be clear not one person to my knowledge has accused me of doing anything untoward - but if for some reason there is a reader out there who thought I was being gross, please know that it was just an unfortunate coincidence.

ER: I just received a text alert from WWE stating "The greatest Money in the Bank event in history starts NOW!" WOW!! The greatest PPV on the greatest night in the history of our great sport!?!? How can I afford to NOT watch and write about this!?

1. The Golden Truth vs. Breezango

ER: Breezango are working an extreme sunburning gimmick, playing up that they got roasted earlier while tanning their bods. This leads to Goldust amusingly working a chop heavy style while Breeze and Fandango scream. Goldust throws some amazing chops all throughout so it works, and for speaking for all the people who have ever lobstered themselves, you get it. The match wasn't much beyond that sadly. Goldust got to be the hot tag, which is nice since he's easily the best hot tag in the fed, but I wish I could just see an actual 8+ minute match between these teams.

2. Lucha Dragons vs. Dudley Boyz

ER: "Game of Thrones isn't the only show with flying dragons!" Ugh, Mauro's had that line in the can for weeks I assume. There are also ads on the bottom of the screen FOR the Money in the Bank PPV. How many people who subscribe to the Network, who happen to be watching the network LIVE at 4:47 PM on a Sunday, wouldn't know they are about to see Money in the Bank? There was a production person in the back who was paid to put these graphics up on the bottom of the screen. The only way they could be watching this match was if they clicked the large "Watch WWE Money in the Bank LIVE NOW" button on the homepage. These teams don't seem to gel very well, and the Dragons seem to be holding back on their flying offense. Everything is landing super soft. Bubba is still good but has lost a step, but he's doing a good job of trying to make up for any ability loss with an increase in shit talking. It works. But yeah the match as a whole really doesn't. The heat segments aren't compelling, the comebacks are light. There were a couple decent individual moments, but this was a throwaway pre-show match for certain.

3. Enzo & Cass vs. The Vaudevillains vs. Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson vs. The New Day

ER: Love the new waistcoat/vest/pocket watch entrance gear on the Villains. Entrances take a full 9 minutes for everybody so I magically leap forward in time. Anderson and Gallows have to wait almost that long as Enzo and Kofi set up dual crossbodies off the top. There's an annoying segment where Kofi and Enzo do a tug of war, each trying to tag out to their partners. So just a long segment of two guys just not fighting each other, while holding hands. Neat. Things "break down" just 4 minutes in, despite next to nothing happening. Kofi is really sandbagging the Villains. Anderson seems to be the only one who understands that it's a one pinfall finish, as he tries to tag guys whenever they get close. Kofi and English were fighting right next to Enzo and Cass and they just stood there thumbing their butts. Can't win the match from the apron, doodz. Cass and Enzo go on a run and Gallows looks late on a save, plus the ref did a bad double clutch count. Looked bad. They wisely have English take most of the finishers, as that guy is really good at taking offense. The last two minutes of this got good as WWE multiman structure is usually good at handling those big finisher trading runs, but this really wasn't that good for the time allotted.

ER: I really liked Owens during the MITB promo, even though they were just going for yuks instead of actually building to much of a match. "Perro means dog? You know Spanish now?" "No, I just learned that word because [Alberto Del Rio] always calls people that."

4. Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler

ER: When did the "super wet hair" scourge start sweeping through WWE? When did that start being a thing? Was it HHH? Is he the Wet Hair Mary? Did he start demanding everybody with hair just dunk their heads under a sink pre-match? Even Flair has been horribly sporting this look for years now, which only adds to his incredible melting man look. Let's all get together and try to pinpoint this wet hair outbreak. Corbin's work looks really good in this. I like his measured straight rights, even if the crowd is chanting boring at him. Did I miss something with Ziggler? Why is he wearing what appears to be an actual HBK outfit from 1996? That's weird, right? I get guys wearing their influences on their sleeves, but just dressing exactly the same? How is that even allowed? Ziggler takes a hot shot really great, really looked like his neck snapped across that rope. Also really like Corbin being a step ahead and countering all of Ziggler's offense, tossing him off from the famouser, blocking the follow up superkick. Oh god Ziggler is even stomping to set up sweet chin music? What the fuck did I miss? What a fucking dork. Corbin plants him with a nasty spinning back suplex, really twisting him right into the ground. I'm really starting to love all of Corbin's running punches, and I liked the superkick reversal off Corbin's finisher. I think Corbin might be quite good, but it's tough to tell since I've only ever seen him against Ziggler and even though I ended up liking this match, it's a match-up I'm already tired of.

5. Charlotte & Dana Brooke vs. Becky Lynch & Natalya

ER: I really liked Charlotte's knees/cravate combo on Natalya, but there is really not much to care about in this match. Becky's hot tag offense doesn't look that good. After seeing her a few times I still can't get any sort of read on Brooke. She seems good at doing lackey type stuff, bitchily making saves for Charlotte, but nothing has stood out about her wrestling ability. Lynch doesn't do a lot for me either. Brooke does make me laugh postmatch by yelling "I'm the greatest protege ever!!" That's awesome. Oh and hey Nattie turned on Lynch, meaning there are......is Lynch the only babyface in the division? Paige is a face, right? I think? Nattie's forearm to the back of Lynch's head was probably the best looking thing in the match. This was a bunch of nothing.

6. Sheamus vs. Apollo Crews

ER: Crews doesn't do a lot for me but Sheamus is good enough to get something out of him, and they oddly seem like a good match for each other. I really really dug all the violent opening headlock takeovers, they all looked so good. Crews throws a nice tight elbow that knocks Sheamus to the floor and Sheamus snags him off the apron and hits a backbreaker. And I am into this. Sheamus knows how to work a compelling headlock as he keeps shifting his weight and position to build for Crews' comeback. Sheamus is really good bumping all around for Crews' lariats, and then takes a wild bump to the floor off a belly to belly. Holy cow then Crews hits an awesome moonsault off the apron to the floor, that really couldn't have hit any better than it did. Man I am into this match. Crowd appears to not give any one of their fucks about it, but they're busting ass in there. It's really quiet though. Can't blame them though as Sheamus really has been an afterthought for some time. Which is too bad, as Sheamus is awesome. OOF, lame as hell finish with Crews just getting a roll up while Sheamus argued pinfalls. Man that is a lame finish. Shame as I was into the whole thing, up until that.

7. AJ Styles vs. John Cena

ER: Cole on commentary also calls this "The greatest Money in the Bank event in history!" What is the actual justification for using this exact phrasing. It's a weird thing to say about a show before it happens, and then again before it's over. Is there a kayfabe reason? Like are they acting like the matches on this card are the biggest ever when compared to past MITB? Or is it just hyperbolic horseshit? Cena looks smaller, which is good. He was looking freakish for awhile there. And this is really good so far. I loved Styles punching him when Cena waved his palm, and Cena selling that punch was great. On the floor AJ gets tossed into the steps but ably leaps over them and then casually rolls back into the ring and man Styles is playing this up so great. Styles pacing in this match is perfect, and then AJ gets launched by a backdrop. But the structure kinda falls apart after that backdrop. And then Styles hits a plancha where...I didn't really know what was supposed to hit whom. It looked like AJ changed his momentum to purposely not hit Cena, but then Cena sold it. Styles does crash and burn spectacularly on a missed dive afterwards though. Boy the pace I enjoyed so much at the start of the match sure has turned quite methodical. Cena is working like he's hurt, not in selling injuries, but just in a way that feels like he's not fully healthy. We have hit the part of the match where finishers are hit followed by lots of lying around. Styles catches knees on a 450, which is probably because he waited 90 seconds to hit it after Cena kicked out of the Styles Clash. And more lying around. I'm all for selling, but they're not laying this thing out in a very interesting way.  A ref bump was not something I was personally hoping for, either. Club interferes, puts AJ on top for the win. At least AJ won? I'm sure they will have several matches so I understand not doing a good finish in the first match, but the final 5-7 minutes of this were just really boring to me. It felt like they were going for drama that they hadn't earned. The long lying around selling followed by getting up and running around felt like the worst terceras of the worst CMLL main events. Both of these guys are good, and I'm sure they have a real good match in them. This started out like that match, but it wasn't that match by the end.

8. Money in the Bank Match: Chris Jericho vs. Cesaro vs. Sami Zayn vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose

ER: Jericho is doing some of the more interesting character stuff than at any time over the last several years, but his ringwork has gotten so lousy, and he hasn't adapted his style in the least, that it makes me just hope he decides to stop wrestling. He just looks so slow and bad in there. There are some big moves to start, but also notice that everybody taking the big moves is REALLY bad at occupying themselves while waiting to take a move. Jericho just stands there holding a ladder forever while waiting for Cesaro to hit his senton off the apron, 4 guys just stand at ringside patiently waiting for Zayn to hit a flip dive, they just aren't even pretending they're doing anything other than waiting to get hit. Cesaro hits running uppercuts on everybody and Sami Zayn has been gone for like 5 minutes. Owens too. Ah, now Owens comes in a hits cannonballs on everybody, and then Cesaro takes a nasty running face first bump into a ladder set up in the corner.  I'm not sure what possibly kept Zayn hurt for so many minutes, because when he reappears he is a house of fire. But pretty soon we're back to 4 guys disappeared and selling injuries off camera. Man you expect that kind of stuff in these but it seems really bad here. But holy cow Cesaro jumping from the ladder into a springboard uppercut looked amazing. We do get plenty of big moves into ladders, but the layout with guys just waiting around doing nothing until it's their turn to do a stunt is just out of control. I get it, shit hurts. But the way they're playing it you can literally predict who's turn it is to come in and take their turn to do something painful.  I've only missed one of my guesses so far. We take a preposterously long time to set up all 6 guys fighting while standing on ladders. ADR takes a flat out lunatic bump off a falling ladder, trying to land feet first on the top and basically doing a split legged moonsault to himself. We get many minutes of guys failing to climb well, until Ambrose climbs better than them to win! Well, this stunk.

9. Rusev vs. Titus O'neil

ER: Lana's faces while standing behind Rusev are the best. And Rusev and Titus smack into each other really hard to start, and Rusev gets tossed into the barricade. Before long Rusev is smothering him in the ring while trash talking Titus's kids. Rusev throws a lot of really good knees. Rusev's high kick and superkick both look great, Titus looks like he's scared of tearing a lat most times he does a move. And WOW Rusev won clean in the middle on Father's Day in front of Titus's kids!! Holy cow, they brought in his kids to watch their dad lose!! That's vicious shit right there. Happy Fathers Day!!! Rusev couldn't have looked much stronger in victory. He mostly steamrolled Titus here. Back down the card you go, O'Neill. Shouldn't have touched Vince that one time.

10. Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns

ER: According to chants, Roman apparently can't wrestle. Which not coincidentally sounds like the feeble screams of hundreds of micropenises. This was worked a little slower than I was hoping for, and I'm still confused who is supposed to be booed and who isn't. Rollins has some pretty light offense here, but there are some nice sequences. Loved Reigns backdropping Rollins, Rollins landing on his feet, but then getting blasted by a Superman punch. Rollins countering a spear with a kneelift was nice too. Rollins is really working as gutsy babyface returning from a knee injury, and the whole announce crew is selling it as such. Except for Byron Saxton, who I swear is just most useless fucking body. The whole PPV all he did was occasionally loudly say somebody's name when it was quiet. It would go quiet and then in an over-annunciated speech you would just hear. "ROMAN...REIGNS." Saxton is such a fucking zero. Those spots where they fight endlessly on the turnbuckles really don't look good. I'm honestly pretty bored during this one. It just feels way too long. Certain sequences feel repeated. Some stuff is looking really impressive, like Reigns brutal missed spear into the rail. The brawling has looked pretty sloppy. The fighting on the knees spot was pretty flimsy, especially after watching Black Terry do an expert version of the same moment earlier in the day. They went out and tried to have an epic war, and there was a lot that worked. I think they should have consolidated things a bit, maybe trimmed like 25% of the match, got to some things quicker. But I do actually like how they handled the ending, as I definitely didn't expect Roman to lose. It seems like such an anti-WWE move to give a guy like Rollins the title after being laid up for 7 months. The Money in the Bank stip does nothing at all for me, but I like that Ambrose immediately cashed it in, as then I won't have to see any stupid months and months of suitcase teases, and a guy dorkily carrying around said suitcase. And it makes the main event scene more interesting than it otherwise would have been with a Reigns win. Maybe I'll have second thoughts after thinking about it for a bit, but this seems like a neat way to freshen things up a bit. And maybe Ambrose will start looking better now that he's away from Jericho, and into actual important programs.

ER: So, I didn't like the PPV. A lot of it was boring. The two big singles matches fell flat with me, and the ladder match was a bunch of guys killing themselves in a stupidly laid out bad spotfest. And the undercard matches weren't really put in a position to succeed. There were individuals I liked, but nothing at all that I really liked. BUT, I'm oddly optimistic about things going forward, as even though I didn't care for the overall matches I'm excited for a Styles/Cena rematch, excited for the various Shield clashes, excited to see different stuff from Corbin and Rusev, so it's an odd feeling to not really enjoy much of what I just watched, while being interested in what's to come. So I guess I couldn't call it a failure.

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WWE Payback 2016 Live Blog

1. Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler

ER: I am far far behind on NXT so I don't know if Corbin is special or not, don't know what his whole angle is other than he seems to glower a lot. And he has pants that were seemingly drawn by Rob Liefeld. Look at all those satchels and pockets and belts and patches and things tied onto other things! And this match was okayish, for a match that most people won't watch on a pre-show. The pretend it's a big deal that Corbin lost for the first time, but he's been on the roster what, for one PPV? He's had maybe 2? 3? TV matches. So he's perhaps 3-1 now. That's not a big deal. But that withstanding, what's the point of having him lose on the PPV pre-show? He's one month removed for winning the proven-not-big-deal WM Battle Royal, so I guess this establishes he can win a meaningless battle royal but not a singles match? I can't really get a read on him as a worker but he seems pretty bland. He has bad aim on things like big boots, though threw a decent right hand at one point and earned some points for shaking his hand out afterwards. Ziggler wrestled like Corbin were Big Show size, though in fairness Ziggler would probably still wrestle that way against Kalisto. This match definitely happened on the pre-show.

2. Kalisto vs. Ryback

ER: Man, US Title defended on the pre-show for a few PPVs in a row now. I dug their match before Mania so this could be good. Oh man, not only is Ryback wearing an awesome weight belt, but it even says "Pre-Show Stopper". That's incredible. And WOW then Ryback completely saves Kalisto from braining himself on the ring apron, so Ryback is officially on fire in this one. Ryback is an amusing base for Kalisto, he's good at catching DDTs and good at teasing suplexes, and also tossing him violently. The DDT apron spot was awesome, and then Ryback flies into a Kalisto crossbody, then leans face first into a spinkick. He's been cutting low on clotheslines meant to miss, and really is having a nice night. He truly is the pre-show stopper. Still think they went home WAY too early, as Ryback does a mammoth gorilla press off the top rope, I mean just a crazy spot. But Kalisto hardly sells it as he has to get up to dodge Ryback's big splash. Still, overall a fun match.

3. Vaudevillains vs. Enzo & Big Cass

ER: Really liked the opening Gotch/Enzo match stuff, with the neat monkeyflip into armbar roll through, then English tagging in and doing the awesome block on a drop toehold. It reminded me of something Finlay might do, and as I'm thinking that JBL says the same thing. Gotch tosses Enzo to the floor and he does this great unintentional "Vince not knowing how to get thrown out of the ring" bump as he flies face and neck first into the bottom rope. Good lord that looked nasty. Annnnnd it's looking like a legit injury. That sucks. Regardless of what you think about their act (and for me, they're already tired), you don't want a guy to go out like that in his big opportunity. Bummer.

4. Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn

ER: Owens starts off in dickhead mode which is great, as he launches Zayn into the steps, kicks him in the shoulder, stands on his arm, gives him a front suplex into the ropes which Zayn does a fun spring-y bump for. I think Cole has called Blue Thunder Bomb like 3 times this match. It's the new "JR calls every Dudley move the 3D". Owens hits a really great frog splash. I love when you see camera flashes when they show a move in slow motion. I always think "Aw, somebody got a really nice photo!" That arm clutch/half nelson suplex was brutal, but I'm beyond tired of the instant pop up lariat. I mean....we ALL got tired of that 15 years ago right? They go out to fight on the apron, for the sole purpose of one of them eventually taking a bump on the apron. Owens does, then takes Zayn's tope DDT. But no matter as back in the ring Owens hits a superkick and powerbomb for the win. This started really good and devolved pretty quick into the same sequences you've seen these guys work for years. I liked the early heel work, disliked the move trading kickouts. And then Owens goes to sit in on commentary and he's just fine. That match against Zayn wun't even a thang.

5. The Miz vs. Cesaro

ER: This match has been disappointing. People say Miz has improved, but he still does a lot of little things poorly. He leans out of strikes or puts his hands way in front of his face, and man if we're going to spend this much of a match in a body vice/sleeper you need to make it look way better than that. Maybe it's just because I've watched a couple Fred Yehi matches today but this was a weenie body vice. Maryse at ringside was far better than Miz in this. And it's a major problem that the skull crushing finale looks weaker than any offense Cesaro did throughout the match. Finish was a dud but sets up more matches (and Cesaro , and watch how terribly Miz takes Cesaro's Gotch piledriver. Couldn't even take a front bump, had to tuck the knees. I am not looking forward to more Miz title defenses.

6. Chris Jericho vs. Dean Ambrose

ER: Man this match just feels like death and the bell hasn't even been rung. Ambrose has been real sloppy and lazy with his offense, and Jericho is a guy who looks terrible taking offense now, they're really just terrible counterparts for each other. I have no clue what Jericho is even going for any more. He wants to be all fast workrate guy but he is terribly slow and has super dated offense at this point, and he still wants to use some in-match yuks and jokes, but can't stooge or bump well enough for a guy that could work with some good heel yuks and jokes. And then there are just awkward moments like Ambrose standing and waiting to get hit with the piddliest double axe handle you've seen. Did something get crossed up? Was that supposed to hit? If that was supposed to hit, was it actually supposed to look like THAT? Man this shit is going looooong. When Enzo went down hurt we were all wondering what match/segment would get extra time, you just fucking KNEW it was going to be the Jericho match. Give that extra time to your workrate superstar!!! You kinda need that extra time for all the extra time guys have to stand around waiting to take Jericho's #trademarkoffense. That turnaround enziguiri felt like it took an eternity to pull off.

7. Charlotte vs. Natalya

ER: I really don't care much about these two. And their timing seems really stilted in the first couple minutes. That rope running/drop down sequence was really slow and awkward. They're in full "having a WAR" mode, which just means we breathe harder and lie on the mat longer and making shocked faces when a very normal move doesn't get a 3 count. Natalya is selling like she's been lost in the desert for several days. Oh, brother, then we get Montreal. Fucking 19 years later. I just got my fucking driver's license when that shit originally happened. Natalya couldn't walk or use her knee for the last 10 minutes but she has no problem walking around after the match and getting into a deep squat to do a sharpshooter on Charlotte. Seriously Natalya lied on the mat for the last 50% of this match, and now she's walking completely normal. What's a SHOOT and what isn't!?!? Controversy CREATES CASH!!! Man the last half hour plus has been fucking death.

Forgive me while I don't watch one second of McMahons. This angle was why I had to sit through that horrific Shane match, right?

Boy I keep checking back from doing other things and we are STILL not at the next match. What in the hell is actually happening!?

Alright, got to watch a full episode of Bob's Burgers waiting for wrestling to come back on to a wrestling PPV!!  And did something happen to Jojo? Or is she just deemed not worthy of announcing later in the card matches?

8. AJ Styles vs. Roman Reigns

ER: Man AJ's haircut is bad. Bad length, bad style, it even has that annoying crimp at the end so you know he's been wearing it in a ponytail all day. Yuck. Roman is clearly working heel and I like it. I dig everything I've seen so far, like the Calf Crusher, Roman's big ass delayed sit out powerbomb, and then hot damn that flying forearm through the table was vicious. And hahahahaha we get a count out finish. Oh, but Shane McMahon is out because remember he's the guy who puts on a good show!! Not like all these dogshit terrible shows that have been put on by people with the goal of putting on dogshit terrible shows the last several years. Why didn't he come out and reverse the Montreal finish? Was he in the restroom when it happened? Or does his magic GM powers only exist for main events and men matches? But now there's a low blow that didn't look like a low blow so Steph can come out and flex HER GM POWERS. This is so fucking brainlessly terrible. Roman took that clothesline over the barricade like a man. Too bad about all the horseshit in this match because both guys have looked really good. So the stoppages completely cut the dick off this thing, and they were STILL able to craft an exciting match. They work Gallows/Anderson's interference nicely into the whole mess, craft a couple good nearfalls (the one where Reigns got his foot on the ropes legit made me think Styles was winning), cool moment with Reigns pushing Styles off the top into the throng of interferers, and yeah both guys worked a real nice match. Shame, then, that they were not the true stars of the match. So fucking sick of the hack McMahon children.

Wow, that was mostly a terrible PPV. Reigns/AJ was a MOTYC based on the work, but that work had to take a backseat to GM DRAMA!! Kalisto/Ryback had a fun Superstars match, Zayn/Owens had their 17th best match together, but man was this show some shit.

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