NXT 229 7/3/14 Review

1. Colin Cassady vs. Sylvester Lefort

Ugh. Enzo's same rehearsed, already ear poison mic spiel goes about 4x as long as the match itself. Lefort has been looking killer lately on TNA, glad someone is giving him some time (yuck, feels weird to say "good for him for going to TNA!"). And really what can you say about a 30 second match? I hate them? Lefort brings about as much as you can in the time, throwing a couple stiff right hands to Cassady's jaw. If you gotta go down, land a few while on the way. Cassady hits his big leaping elbow, and at least all his arm flailing made the elbow look more impactful. Still, bleh.

2. Sasha Banks & Charlotte vs. Bayley & Becky Lynch

I wasn't expecting tons from this but ended up liking it and wanting more. Sasha and Charlotte are a really satisfying tag team, real good at cutting off the ring, and Bayley is an excellent babyface. Lynch dropped all that terrible Irish dancing and was fine as Bayley's hot tag. But the money was in watching Sasha and Charlotte be total bitches to Bayley. This was one of Charlotte's best performances so far, just really showing tons of confidence and coming off like a real jock bully. Sasha is great as her lackey, and it's so good when she does a bunch of her non-offense cheats, stuff like clawing and just slapping someone on the back. Her facials are always great when doing this and Charlotte is always waiting right there for the tag when Sasha gets in over her head. If this was maybe twice as long it would have been something that wouldn't have felt out of place on one of the 80s sets, and it kind of made me hate the WWE Network start time/end time "bullet points" as while it is convenient to know what time a match starts on the timeline, it is a bummer to be getting into a match while seeing "oh this ends in like 30 seconds".

Tyson Kidd is really good at playing bitter veteran and I liked him raining on Justin Gabriel's parade. Gabriel was all excited to be in NXT and Kidd explained to him that it was another rung lower on the ladder, which was lower than his previous spot, and so on. I try not to look ahead at what happens in NXT so I'm going into each episode mostly blind, so I have no idea how long Kidd (or anybody) sticks around in NXT, but I'm hoping he's around for awhile.

3. CJ Parker vs. Steve Cutler

Not much to this one, the debuting Z'Dar-jawed Cutler got zero offense, but bumped around in fine "quick back bump off punches" WWE training style. It was entirely punches from Parker, leading to his standing spin kick finish. Parker is a guy I like, but the announce crew really backed themselves into an awkward corner with his gimmick. He's a dirty hippie who's a self-proclaimed eco terrorist. Regal is the face announcer, who understandably hates hippies. But Regal makes a poor decision in deciding - because Parker is a heel, and a hippie heel no less, that he is going to be opposed to everything about him. The problem is, Regal now comes off like an asshole climate change denier who empties entire bottles of his Aqua Net hairspray into the air while having a Styrofoam bonfire. Like, I get CJ's a dick about it, but it doesn't mean you also have to hate recycling just because somebody shitty does it. Regal easily could have taken a "agree with the message, strongly disagree with the delivery" route which would have actually pointed out the whole nuance of the Parker character. His broad dislike is a rare commentary misstep for Regal, but it's a misstep he should recognize, as I don't want to have to side with Byron Saxton of all people as he points out what good points Parker is making.

4. Sami Zayn vs. Justin Gabriel

Really liked Gabriel in this one, and I really like he and Kidd as dickhead demoted meatheads. I thought Zayn's two comebacks were fairly unimaginative and shoehorned in, or else the match could have been great. Zayn's first offense run just kind of came out of nowhere, and the second was set up by Gabriel climbing to the top while easily seeing Zayn standing up to catch him. It was just kind of lazy. But Gabriel looked awesome throughout, right up there with the most I've ever enjoyed him. The first couple minutes of this were fun as I liked their scrambly wristlock reversals and armdrags, and eventually Gabriel starts bringing some stiff strikes including a nasty spinkick right to Zayn's jaw. Both guys were doing real nice rope running sequences, cutting fast on drop downs, doing fast leapfrog spots. It felt like those Finlay matches in WCW where he would test a guy early in a match by doing super fast sequences and letting them decide their fate. Gabriel hits a great springboard moonsault and plants Zayn with a sick air raid crash on his knee. I kept expecting Kidd to factor into the finish so was pleased that he didn't (other than shouting advice), but the ending was just flat with the silly fighting on the turnbuckles and then Zayn just kind deciding to lock on the koji clutch. It wouldn't have taken much to come up with a better way to transition to Zayn's offense, and that held things back a bit. But overall this was good and I liked Gabriel fully turning postmatch and stomping down Zayn with Kidd. The tag match (Neville/Zayn vs. Kidd/Gabriel that I assume they're building to) should be really good.


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NXT 228 6/26/14 Review

1. The Vaudevillains vs. Matt Sugarman & T-Perkins

Fun but very brief Vaudevillains showcase. This was the best I've seen Gotch look, not only with his forearms and a great knee he dropped to Perkins' (not TJ Perkins) temple, but he broke out such a wonderful spot that I really didn't care what happened the rest of the match: While grounding Perkins with a headscissors, he then rolled through and started doing clapping pushups while still holding the headscissors around Perkins' neck. Stupendous. No idea who Sugarman/Perkins were, but I liked how Perkins faceplanted a drop toehold.

2. Xavier Woods vs. Bull Dempsey

This is Dempsey's "debut" (he worked a Mojo squash a few months back) and I liked him. They push the "fat old timey strength" thing way too hard on commentary, acting like he's Da Crusher running with beer kegs instead of just a fat guy who is fat. But he has a great side headlock and was doing some interesting little things with it, and then I was sad when they stood up and rope ran because I was still interested in the headlock. But then Woods threw an armdrag and Bull awesomely grabbed a side headlock mid armdrag so that when they landed he was back to holding the headlock. Sold. I am sold. He threw a nice elbowdrop, ran face first right into a Woods kick (Woods really scrambled him right across the eyeballs with that one), and yeah, I'm a fan. Nice debut, and a nice job by Woods setting him up.

3. Summer Rae vs. Becky Lynch

This is Lynch's debut and my oh my was there some Irish flavored cringing to be had. She doesn't much resemble the orange haired steam punk you're used to seeing; instead she's got subtle reddish brown hair, and garish irish green flared chrome pants with matching bralette. But she does this ghastly Irish riverdance jig all through her entrance, all through the match, just all over the place. And it's not just the goofy as all hell jig, but she actually sings along to it. She doesn't sing words, but she approximates the sounds of an Irish fiddle jig, so she does this embarrassing jig while awkwardly blurting out "dee-da-dee da-diddly diddly-dee", over and over again, like she was verbalizing Finlay's theme song. I felt so bad for her. Match itself was short, but fine. Summer is a great heel, and Lynch looked good whenever she wasn't doing her jig. She ran into a spinning Summer kick and rolled around holding her jaw, dropped a nice leg, big exploder. I'm actually surprised she got the win as there was a great nearfall (Summer kicked out as late as possible) and I thought that signaled that Summer was definitely going over. But, no. NXT is full of surprises. Now no more dancing. Or sing-dancing.

4. Colin Cassady vs. Sawyer Fulton

Fulton is back with his ridiculous dance pants and Capezios, but I liked his brief little run here. He threw a great front kick and awesome shoulders to Cassady's stomach in the corner. Not a lot of guys really jam their shoulder into the ribs in the corner. Fulton runs nicely into Cassady's big boot. Cass has good intentions with his leaping elbow, but lands a little sawftly on it.

Enzo Amore comes out post-match, returning from his broken leg, and proceeds to do the same routine that he is currently doing 2 years later on TV. This....has already gotten old. Sylvester Lefort and Marcus Louis looked awesome in their shitty ultra tight white lifting shirts though (with embroidered French flags!).

5. Adrian Neville vs. Rob Van Dam

So, I actually liked this. This was not something I was expecting to like. But I liked this. That sounds really undercutting, "hey! I thought this would be totally terrible and it wasn't!" but I'm not intending it that way. I just don't tend to get excited for 2014 Rob Van Dam matches, for SOME reason. That's a bold limb to stand on. This match is smack dab in the middle of his 2013/2014 WWE comeback that you don't remember a single thing about. And the match totally works, with RVD working subtle heel with dated offense against the new him. The match still had typical RVD faults, but there was something almost captivating watching an older, slower but still athletic RVD work old indy spots that were novel 15 years before but slow and clunky now. They do an early mirror exchange straight out of his Jerry Lynn matches and it seems so out of place in a modern setting that it's like a switch flips during the post flippy standoff and he just pops Neville in the mouth. Neville did a great job selling RVD's stuff, taking a mean spill on the preposterous "balance on these ropes while I dropkick you" and getting laid out by a stiff rolling thunder. 

When it's RVD's turn to sell he does a surprisingly adequate and at moments genuinely impressive job. At one point Neville hit a mule kick that staggered RVD, and it was meant to get him in position for a sliding dropkick. RVD staggered back from the kick, dropped to a knee, shifted his gaze down as he held his stomach and then made it appear as if he got naturally blindsided by the kick. It couldn't have been timed better and he couldn't have occupied himself better waiting for the kick. This was a far cry from an opponent bending over at the waist while waiting to take a Booker T axe kick. RVD keeps things interesting from a vet vs. upstart standpoint, and vet vs. upstart is an all time favorite story of mine. The little cheap shot punches, the abandoning of his traditional cocky finger pointing when he realized he might be in over his head, it was somehow a generous performance, while also one where he took 70% of the match. I wasn't expecting to enjoy this, but it was really good and easily my favorite match involving RVD in at least the last decade. What a pleasant find.


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NXT 226 6/12/14 Review

1. The BFFs vs. Bayley, Emma & Paige

I liked the BFFs here, but this got a lot of time relative to what got accomplished. Sasha and Charlotte worked over Emma for most of the 9 minutes, Summer mugged with fans, there was dissension, etc. Sasha is good at this type of stuff, letting Charlotte do the grunt work for the team while she sneaks in to choke Emma with her boot and land other cheap shots, as well as show off her strong apron shit talk game. Emma was a decent FIP, but there really wasn't enough of a comeback or any real hot tag teases, just an eventual tag in to Bayley. It's weird to do a 9 minute match with six people, and have two people never get in the match, so really this was just a longish match to further a Summer Rae angle.

2. Colin Cassady vs. Sylvester Lefort

I have a bad habit of liking a lot of the NXT guys who are clearly being positioned as cannon fodder. It always leaves me in the position of griping about my favorite guys not getting enough match time. The announce crew drops the "deceptively big" line about Cass. "You just don't realize how big he is." That kind of thing never in history had to be said about a large person who actually understands wrestling. You're really big. Act big. If announcers have to remind people that you're physically large, it means you are royally fucking up. Holy shit as I was typing that they said it again. He is 7 feet tall! Lefort is maaaaaybe 5'8". If people are not realizing that Cassady is THAT much fucking bigger than his opponent, it means he is really really bad. "He's the same size as Patrick Ewing!" THEY ACTUALLY SAID THAT! Holy shit I am dying. Did you ever see Patrick Ewing play and somehow not realize that he was a really large, sweaty dude? Cassady is literally on his knees fighting back against Lefort, desperately swinging away while Lefort clubs him, punching at Lefort's stomach and fighting back as if he was modeling himself after Kalisto comebacks. I die laughing during Cass matches. I cannot stop. He's so bad! Oh my god right after he won one of the announcers literally just said "7 feet tall!" I can't fucking even. It's amazing.

3. Sami Zayn vs. Mr. NXT

The video of Bo Dallas leaving after his Loser Leaves NXT match is one of my absolute favorite NXT moments. "I'm calling the cops, for reals...........okay the cops aren't actually coming. But I'm going to call campus security." Match was short and obviously built to Bo getting unmasked and then yakuza kicked while covering up his face. He was really funny playing up his new identity, joyfully yelling "I'm not Bo Dallas!!" throughout the match, not as a response to an accusation, but as a triumphant declaration. He then hilariously evades 4 security guards postmatch, running around and juking them. It's amazing how much I love NXT Bo. The way WWE threw him onto TV gave him zero chance. They took away 80% of his character and all nuance, and left him with a catchphrase which only worked because of the 80% they took away. But man he's good on NXT. "Okay. Just let me go quietly." as he then breaks free from the guards and starts running again. So good.

4. Adrian Neville vs. Tyson Kidd

"A marquee match anywhere in the world!" I mean, it's a match that should be good, and I've really enjoyed Kidd's NXT run so far, but that may be one of the most hilariously overused phrases in pro wrestling. It's arguably not even a marquee match within the context that it's happening. But it's also not even close to silliest match that statement has been made about. And this was a well executed, technically good match, that got completely bogged down by the story they were jamming down our throats. Kidd is frustrated, this is the biggest match of his career (for reasons) and he needs this win or else he'll be the biggest loser in the history of competitive sports. Got it. Except the announcers wanted to make sure we got it, so it's all they talked about all match, and the Kidd loss seemed inevitable from before the bell even rang. What's surprising is that Kidd controlled the entire match, and looked good doing so. This made the finish come off even more lame as Kidd dominated the match but at some point got frustrated that Neville still hadn't given up, so Kidd grabbed a chair and Nattie was like "TJ ermigersh NO! Not like this!!" And TJ was like "But I've tried like THREE OTHER THINGS and he kicked out!!!!" and then Neville hits a superkick which is now apparently tantamount to death, and then hit a (really great) Red Arrow and we are done. Kidd looked good all throughout this, working real stiff, controlling Neville nicely, and Neville was a good FIP, but the whole story was so heavy handed and obvious, and the inevitability of the ending made it tough to give a damn about the match proper.


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NXT Episode 221 5/15/14 Review

1. The Ascension vs. Buddy Murphy & Elias Sampson

Quick squash with Sampson not getting in the ring, and Murphy getting steamrolled. Konnor throws several really great stomps to Murphy's chest, and then leveled him with the Fall of Man, which Murphy takes great, really folds himself up.

2. Alexa Bliss vs. Charlotte

Oh yay back to back weeks of Bliss. And it was mostly an extended Charlotte squash, which is for the best as Bliss looks better sitting in a submission than trying to struggle through offense. She still did her overly complicated and clunky roll up (which beat Fox last week) and almost drops herself on her head while bumping a knee to the stomach. Charlotte has a really great abdominal stretch, where she wrenches it in and violently cranks the person's neck. So that was nice. But this wasn't much.

3. Mojo Rawley vs. Aiden English

Bummed that English had to get fed to Rawley, but English made him look good and actually had a real (albeit only 3-4 minute) match with him. Mojo can't do much so the whole match was English doing his thing until we get the go home sign and Mojo does his shoulderblocks, rear view and bombs away, in order, as always. Really wish they were giving Mojo his ring time off TV, as I'd much rather see English in a real match.

4. Angelo Dawkins vs. Colin Cassady

Man now we get a Big Cass extended squash. What the hell is with this episode? Cass is a guy with some cool short strikes: I really like his body shots and knees. But all of his impact offense looks bad. He's like a guy who grew up idolizing Test. And SAWFT was amusing for like two matches, but I have a feeling I'm going to be seeing him use it for a couple years.

5. Tyson Kidd vs. Tyler Breeze vs. Sami Zayn

This is for the opportunity to face Adrian Neville at the upcoming TakeOver show, but damn I just wish they had done a singles. Any three of these guys would match up nicely in a singles. But I suppose it's not crazy for the winner to face Neville for the title, and the two losers of this match fight at TakeOver, with the winner of that maybe getting a shot down the line. If that's what they plan to do. And this match just never clicked. We had some classic triple threat disappearances, and couple silly trainwreck spots, and guys selling like they had been through the war of their lives after 7 minutes. This whole thing is mostly flat, but it didn't get truly bad until the premature WARTIME selling. The type of shit where a guy breaks up a pinfall and all three lie on the mat selling and breathing heavy, like they just got done with a Godspell performance. All three men, lying there selling as if they've never been more tired, even though all one man did was pull another man off of another man.

This was a bad show right here, filled with squash matches of a couple of my least favorite guys, and topped with a lousy main event.


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WWE Roadblock Live Blog

Roadblock was an abolute top 5 favorite WCW syndicated guy for me, and it's cruel they're taunting me like this, and even more cruel that they never gave him a fair shake after WCW folded. Roadblock looked like my childhood-through-high school friend Ben, and I loved them both, though for different reasons. How dare you play with my emotions on a Saturday night WWE.

1. The New Day vs. League of Nations

ER: It's funny how quick the expiration on some WWE stuff is. A few months ago I found myself chuckling at a few New Day segments. Now I find myself fast forwarding their segments about 30 seconds in. According to Byron Saxton, Sheamus and Barrett competed against each other for "about 10 years" before they got to WWE. I'm gonna call bullshit on that one. Unless Barrett is a 20 year vet. I suppose it's possible. Regal and tons of other awesome vets started in their teens. But holy shit if Barrett has been doing this for 20 years and presently wrestles like Wade Barrett?? Sheamus and Barrett are a nice little team though. I'm really loving each guy suplexing Kofi around. Wade busts out a cool tornado snap suplex, starting like a tornado DDT but planting his feet and snapping off the suplex. Really dug Sheamus' twisting vertical suplex into a low Barrett superkick. Big E has the greatest standing splash of all time. I don't think it's even arguable. How many big fat guys have had disappointing standing splashes? Many. Big E not only gets the most height, but lands with the most weight. It's the best. I loved Kofi catching Sheamus on the floor with a leaping bulldog off the steps. I didn't see it coming, Sheamus took it like a guy who also did not see it coming. Nice opener.

ER: I'm not sure who the guy is holding the mic for Heyman, but damn that is some grade A asshole hair right there. Is he being ribbed? Look at the side angle, as his forehead forms a perfect straight line up to his fade. Kudos for the camera crew zooming to a tighter shot of just Heyman, as that goon standing in frame would have been far too distracting.

2. Chris Jericho vs. Jack Swagger

ER: Jericho makes some pretty terrific smug unamused faces on his way to the ring and while soaking up boos during his promo. I loved him running down his people, but disappointed that he twice stated they were always playing catch-up, yet somehow didn't make a ketchup chips joke. Sohrry. They "asshole" chants sound incredibly Canadian. It's glorious. I get less and less excited with every Jericho return, but if he has to wrestle on TV a lot then clearly heel Jericho is a much better option. If only because then we get the return of the mocking kicks!! Those were my favorite part of his offense when I was in high school. I still wish late career Shawn Michaels had done a heel turn. He could have been such an incredible John Tatum. His outfits work so much better as a heel, and by that point he could have had so many fun comedy reactions based around his hair tuft. It's pretty easy to forget Swagger exists on the roster. I need to start watching Main Event and Superstars to see if there are any gems popping up there. Boy, Jericho sure looks off a couple steps in every one of his return matches. Although it kinda works for his heel persona, there's still no denying he's kind of on par with an average divas match at this point. Match itself was nothing to write home about. Swagger still doesn't know how to make an ankle lock look effective. But hey, mocking kicks!!

3. Enzo Amore & Colin Cassady vs. The Revival (Dawson & Dash)

ER: I am a literal 24 months behind on my NXT, so it will be weird to see how some of these guys look in this flash forward. Colin Cassady is a constant source of giggles for me in 2014 NXT, so we'll see if he's figured out how to work big and not work like a super tall Steve Simpson. I have never seen The Revival before. You will be with me as I learn which one is Dawson and which one is Dash. Dash is the one with hair. I figured it out super quick. Dash throws a stiff elbow and takes a nice back drop. Enzo's low crossbody is cool. Enzo seems like a real good FIP, and Revival are good ring cutter offers. Loved Dawson's hard stomps on Enzo's arms. And HOLY SHIT Enzo running for the tag only to get POUNCED by Dawson was one of my favorite spots I've ever seen related to a tag. We've fallen into such a pattern of hot tags turning into double tag outs, with both guys sneaking peaks at the other making sure they time it right, then something like this comes out of nowhere and knocks my socks on my ass. Then they did the double tag afterwards. But Dash did it nicely. Dawson's missed punch segment against Enzo was pretty terrible. Those things were missing by 4 feet. Overall this was a nicely done tag. Enzo fed The Revival really well, and that made the match. I will see more of these guys when I'm all caught up to 2016 NXT in three years.

4. Natalya vs. Charlotte

ER: What does Ric Flair have against button up shirts? T-shirts and suit jackets is a pretty tragic look. If you're smart enough to wear a pocket square, just buy a couple button ups. And you know Flair's t-shirts probably cost some stupid amount. Like they're some kind of "dress" t-shirt. Ugh. Natalya dedicating the match to Bret Hart comes off like such a desperate move. "How about those 2015 NLDS Champion Blue Jays, right? RIGHT??" So do they have Flair constantly with Charlotte just because they're afraid what Ric might do to himself if he wasn't on the road around people? Horrible thought, but it didn't sound unbelievable as I typed it. Her aping Flair spots and leaving the talking to her dad certainly isn't helping her grow as a performer. Man, Bret Hart gets prostate cancer and then his niece loses on a WWE Network special in a match dedicated to him. Tough month. For all of Cole's idiot talk of Natalya needing to "get some blood flowing back to that knee" (huh?) I wasn't ever feeling the knee injury much. The powerbomb hope spot was nice, but I just can't get into Charlotte matches. I strongly dislike her "I'm disgruntled" face, and Flair getting involved in every single one of her match finishes is so beyond tired at this point.

5. Brock Lesnar vs. Luke Harper

ER: Lesnar/Harper is a modern dream match for me, so I'm loving this. Hopefully we get Lesnar clotheslining Brown Snowman in the jaw again. And damn poor Harper. He laces into Lesnar with great punches, a big boot, big man tope, but then has to suffer through so many damn Germans. And sadly for Harper, he takes Germans realllllly well. He folds up so perfectly. It's like gorgeous poetry. I was obviously hoping for a much longer match, at least 8 minutes. The action was solid gold but just left me wanting mooooooore. Brock needs to come back out and demolish HHH in the main.

6. Sami Zayn vs. Stardust

ER: Does Sami always have the ska intro? Or is that his new WWE theme? It's a little high school, but amusing. I wonder if he also sent away for dozens of different ska zines from across the country? And if all of them featured interviews with Mustard Plug. I wanted to start my own ska zine just so my one and only issue could proclaim "We will NEVER interview Mustard Plug". The whole zine would likely just be about Bad Manners. I would call it Chex. And boy for a guy who just made a big "debut" this week, it's weird seeing him just get dominated by Stardust. I mean 5 minutes in and Zayn has just been taking it and taking it. 8 minutes in and Zayn finally finds a way to crack the Stardust code that's been dominating the fed for years. Zayn gets to kick out of the Disaster Kick and wins shortly after, but no matter how much Cole thinks getting a win over Stardust is a way to really make an impact, this was a disaster. Whose idea was it to give freaking Stardust 95% of this match??

7. Dean Ambrose vs. HHH

ER: During the Shield/Evolution matches Ambrose still wrestled like Ambrose, but here he is wrestling almost, really slotting into the HHH cookie cutter match structure. Things get momentarily good when Ambrose dropkicks the his knee while HHH is in the ropes, but moments later HHH is suplexing him on the floor and walking around just fine. HHH is still trying to #TaketheCripplerCrossfaceBack. Man this is methodical. Realllll businesslike. The man really knows how to silence a crowd. Although watching Stardust dominate a match for 10 straight minutes probably didn't do HHH's established formula any favors. God this is dull. We get some perfunctory submissions in the middle of the ring, Cole screaming about how HHH is just about to tap AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FINISH!?!?!? Apparently Ambrose's legs were UNDER the rope when he pinned HHH? Oh, brother. It somehow worked on the crowd, though. I expected them to turn hard but it actually made them interested in the match for the first time. Ambrose misses the elbow through the table and valiantly fights his way into a Pedigree. Man what a dogshit match. That false finish was maybe the dumbest fucking false finish I have ever seen. Whoever laid out that spot done fucked up. I can't believe that HHH would be shown getting pinned anyway, but man bringing up a fake rule after Ambrose beats him with a leg possibly sort of maybe under the plane of the ropes looked waayyyyyyy worse than the Starrcade "slow" count. I guess it was supposed to make Ambrose look strong? Man the visual of that just looked so fucking stupid.

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NXT Episode 217 4/17/14 Review

1. Colin Cassady vs. Aiden English

The world's largest Bobby Fulton! Colin Cassady was so ridiculous in that Bo Dallas match, and it's really incredible how tiny he made himself seem. So I'll give credit here since he managed to do much less of that, and really both guys worked a really fun match. Cassady actually spends most of the match in control, you know, as a giant should, and English hits real hard in his comebacks. English throws a couple nice thrust kicks to Cassady's cheek, Cassady throws nice clubbing blows and a nice big boot, English took a nice high backdrop too. When English came back Cassady DID immediately shrink down, but at least he worked this more even. English isn't much smaller than him, so it didn't look as weird as him working Spike Dudley to Bo Dallas' Mike Awesome. I liked English finding ways out of Cassady's silly spinning slam, and Regal was killer putting over English's strikes. English had these sharp knuckle point strikes to the ribs, and Regal was right there talking about the edge and extra pain that the point of the knuckles can bring when thrust in between someone's ribs. I think English's offense looks good anyway, but Regal analyzing it and driving the point home just enhances everything. I really liked this and with another minute or two could easily have added this to my NXT recommended matches list.

2. Camacho vs. Oliver Grey

Not how I was expecting this to go, with Camacho winning a 2 minute squash over the returning Grey. It makes sense that it would happen, Camacho is established despite being kind of an NXT jobber, and Grey is coming back from his ACL injury. But it's such a different approach to the norm, having a returning wrestler get dominated in his return match, that it was surprising and kind of refreshing. It fully makes sense for a guy to get dominated in his return, showing he's dealing with ring rust, showing that while his body has recovered, his ring instincts need to get back to speed. It's like when Kendrys Morales opted not to sign with a team until the 2014 season had already started, and then he spent the whole year two steps behind players who had gone through spring training. It's an approach you never see in pro wrestling, but makes so much logical sense from a presentation standpoint that I really liked it. Plus Camacho is a good hand and deserves a nice win now and then.

3. The Ascension vs. Wesley Blake & Cal Bishop

This is worked like a lot of Ascension squashes. Bishop plays the role of man standing on apron who gets knocked off by Viktor before hitting the Fall of Man, and Blake takes all of the offense. This was less violent than other Ascension squashes, and they're sort of running out of tricks.

4. CJ Parker vs. Great Khali

I had no clue Khali was still employed by WWE in 2014. And Parker goes above and beyond to make him look good, especially taking a huge clothesline over the top and then taking a big back bump on the floor. Khali was surprisingly effective here as well, and while this was kept short it actually could have been something if given more time and a couple more twists. As it was the ending was never in doubt, but it was nice seeing Parker bump around for chops, and Regal was great talking about all of the physical problems that can happen when you get clomped real hard on the head.

5. Jason Jordan & Tye Dillinger vs. Baron Corbin & Sawyer Fulton

What the fuck is a Sawyer Fulton!? I don't think I've seen any of these guys before, but Fulton instantly stands out just by looking like a complete goof. He's a taller guy with some size, but he's dressed like an anonymous backup dancer at the Tony awards. He wears flare leg dance pants with a shiny stripe down the side, little shiny Capezios, a single strap tank, horrendous bleach blonde crew cut, an anachronous barbed wire bicep tat....He just looks like an awkward man in conflict with himself. Like you'd be watching a Kristin Chenoweth number and he would stand out a bit too much from the other dancers, and in a bad way. Jordan and Dillinger are working that lazy and annoying "smiling, athletic guys" gimmick, where they do dropkicks and fist pumps and in the gym they probably push each other to do one more set of burpies bro. They are positively forgettable in their positivity. Corbin is also a big guy and I'd at least like to see more of him. The other guys? Ehhhhhh.

6. Brodus Clay vs. Adrian Neville

Not much of a match. Crowd was back in "get over" mode with silly chants the whole time, Brodus didn't look great on all his missed stuff. The match ended with Neville laid out on the floor and Brodus missing a splash off the ring steps, but he landed on his feet first on the splash and that was supposed to be what kept him down long enough for Neville's count out win. Neville was fine enough keeping Clay away with leg kicks and flippity dippity stuff but yeah this disappointed.

Man what a dud of an episode this week. They're getting into a real bad habit of cramming in more and more matches each week, which means with six matches on a one hour show you're getting a bunch of 2-4 minute matches. When I started watching the show they were doing 3-4 matches, with one match always getting a nice main event time, but all these short matches with bland workers are just dullsville. I liked English/Cassady and gladly would have done without that tag match if the English match could have gotten more time. This was just a poorly laid out show, and show layout and pacing was one of their strengths when I started watching. Six matches in 50 minutes is just too much when you have to account for entrances, backstage interviews, Network ads, etc. Horrible layout.


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NXT Episode 212 3/13/14 Review

1. Paige vs. Sasha Banks

Albert calls Paige "the closest you can get to a total package in wrestling" which...seems a wee bit hyperbolic. I mean, you can't just go saying that about everybody, and the person you choose to say that about is...Paige? Match itself was short and not bad, though the ending was kind of abrupt and didn't make Sasha look very strong. Paige was working the match as seasoned vet, and Banks was kind of more Stevie Richards as she doesn't really seem to have tons of offense, so she gets by on body charisma and stuff like back rakes and hair pulling. It works, as she comes off like a gal who would give zero fucks about ripping out a chunk of some girl's extensions. Sasha locks on a nice arms-crossed camel clutch, even if it doesn't ever feel like it could end the match. They must have gotten the sudden call to go home though as Sasha lets get back up, then Paige just kinda knocks Sasha down and immediately works to lock on the Paige Tapout. I mean, Sasha was good at fighting to keep out of it and avoid getting her arms locked in, but it was a really weird sequence with Paige sitting in a sub, then getting up and just locking on her own sub for the win.

2. The Ascension vs. Travis Tyler & Cal Bishop

You'll never believe it, but according to our announce crew, The Ascension are also "The Total Package". Five stars for everybody! Everybody gets a Trophy Day! Travis Tyler draws the short straw here and takes the brunt of the 3.5 minute beating. And to their credit Ascension know how to work squash matches. It helps having a guy like Tyler who was really great at being blitzed and blindsided by shoulderblocks and double teams. I've never seen Tyler before but he's at minimum a guy who makes offense look really great, and he was real good at naturally stumbling into position, conveying that his bell was rung early and he wasn't sure where the next shot was coming from. Viktor hits a real nice boma ye off the middle buckle, with Konnor Irish whipping him into it. Nice, satisfying extended squash.

3. Mason Ryan vs. Wesley Blake

Damn I actually really really liked this. It was two green guys, but having a fun "Power Plant green guys getting a little time on Pro" and they're trying new things and some of them don't totally work, but they look game in trying these new things, and they kind of surprise you a bit. Here the green sloppiness added to the match for me, as it made things come off with a cool confused struggle. The headlock stuff in the beginning was really good because of that, as instead of a clean headlock push into the ropes, we get some nasty struggle over a sloppy choke with guys getting their ears pinched and forearms going across noses. So we get a couple of sloppy struggles, but they looked better in their sloppiness. Blake takes a punch well and we also get some nice ground punches which feel more like an MMA guy sensing his opponent was finished so dives in excitedly with some sloppy ground strikes. Ryan plays around with some headlock takedowns and fireman's carry takedowns, and those benefit from sloppiness as well. They came off more as uncooperative throws. Nice segment with Ryan missing a corner charge and hitting his shoulder, and the match actually including some nice callback spots to a potential shoulder injury. Blake later hits a single arm DDT and a nice stomp to the shoulder, and there's some fun fighting over an arm wringer. Eventually we get the kind of abrupt Power Plant guy GO HOME call where someone just hits their finisher. But this surprised me and I really dug it, in the same way I was surprised and really dug Sick Boy vs. Renegade.

4. Xavier Woods vs. Alexander Rusev

Tyler Breeze comes out and begs Woods for the shot against Rusev, sounds genuine, wants the chance to fight Rusev for hitting his face. Woods refuses and as Rusev comes out, Breeze jumps Woods.

And damn this match was good too, although needed like...30 more seconds to make it substantial. But it was good. Woods is reeling from getting jumped and taking shots to the back of his head, so Rusev bullies him into the corner and laces in with low shin kicks and nice knees to the ribs. He's working like a bulky RINGS Russian, like Bitsadze Tariel, with shin kicks and rolled shoulder throws. Woods gets a really great comeback too, as Rusev bullies him into a corner but Woods knows the shin kick is coming this time. So Woods catches it and starts throwing all the strikes at him, nice low kicks, elbows to the jaw, a really great chop, just peppering them in off time, staggering Rusev. But it is fleeting, as Rusev grabs hold of him and tosses him into a pancake. With one more twist or turn, this could have been a perfect little short match.

5. Colin Cassady vs. Bo Dallas

Colin Cassady is hilarious to me. As in, I giggled through this whole match. Cassady is a giant. He is clearly a tall guy, even though he just kind of looks like Edge slightly stretched out. So he's this giant guy, who loses ALL of his height once there's any kind of lock-up. He and Dallas lock up, and suddenly Dallas looks bigger. He starts wrestling like Spike Dudley the second they lock-up. Even his comebacks are like Spike Dudley, or any blowjob babyface tag team ever. BUT, when he makes his comebacks, his offense is sold like he is a GIANT. So he's wrestling like Bobby Fulton but then makes a comeback and Dallas is taking flip bumps like he's being tossed around by Andre. So I'm dying laughing as Dallas easily grounds Cassady with a headlock, and then Cassady starts elbowing Dallas' stomach to get out of it, but Dallas is jumping while taking these shots like he's comically  taking the offense of a giant man, but Cassady is facially acting like he's a tiny babyface desperately fighting for control. It's fucking hilarious. He works like fucking Tommy Rogers except he's 7 feet tall!! I can't stand it. It's too good. He'll always be desperately struggling to fight back, but then he'll hit a big boot like a giant and Dallas will go flying like he took a bat to the face. HOLY SHIT Cassady just threw himself down to the mat while whipping Dallas into the corner. Holy shit. He did it in the way tiny juniors throw themselves down, as if they're using ALL of their strength, every possible muscle in their little body, to whip this man into the buckles, like Mitch Williams falling off the mound after pitches because he was throwing so hard. I can't take it. That's like something Kalisto would do when wrestling Rusev. So, aside from breaking out in tears every time GIANT Colin Cassady worked as if he were Rey Misterio wrestling Kevin Nash on Nitro, I really liked Dallas in this. He worked a smarmy slow style, really rubbing it in that he was being methodical. And the crowd was booing and chanting boring, and that makes Dallas make a BO-lieve joke out of BO-ring. Dallas throws awesome back elbows and at one point plowed through Cassady with an awesome running back elbow variation. But Colin Cassady man. I can't deal. I love it.

Fun episode, sometimes for the reasons they weren't totally going for. HOWEVER, fun is fun is fun.


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NXT Episode 208 Workrate Report 2/11/14

1. Natalya, Bayley & Emma vs. Alicia Fox, Sasha Banks & Summer Rae

Oh weird. I saw Bayley wrestle a few times in Bay Area wrestling promotions as Davina Rose and dug her then. She was always a heel there, though. This was a really fun trios. All of the stuff between Banks and Natalya was really good. Banks bumps around for her in that fun Diva way where they don't look totally trained and it makes the bumps look nastier. She and Summer Rae play chicken nicely, both sprinting away from Natalya while Natalya gets to throw in her comparative power offense. Most of this is Bayley getting worked over by Fox and Rae, with Fox's work being much better. Rae threw a nice butt bump after choking Bayley over the ropes (and then had a really embarrassing slow crawl to the hot tag), but Fox is really great at building to a babyface comeback, as she really yanks in chin locks and actively taunts faces (also threw a mean Northern Lights with a crazy high bridge). Emma is kept out of this until the finish which is probably best. Emma did a nice sunset flip and I do dig the Emma Lock. She just doesn't do much for me yet.

2. Aiden English vs. Colin Cassady

Cassady looks a lot like Edge and wears a gigantic goofy gold chain. He's billed as being almost 7 feet tall but I don't know how accurate that is. I'm not sure how big English is so I don't really have any context for that height. Cassady seems alright but didn't get to do much. English looked really good here, with a nasty spinning neckbreaker, nicely elbowing his way out of a fallaway slam, and running hard into Cassady's (nice looking) punches and big boot. This was a short match and I assumed the guy being billed as 7' would go over, but was pleasantly surprised to see English get the win.

Big promo setting up Sami Zayn vs. Antonio Cesaro for the NXT live show a couple weeks after this. I have not seen any of their NXT matches, but I've seen Claudio vs. Generico live and was a huge fan of that, so I'm excited to see them again. Cesaro has obviously been one of the best in the world for some time, and while I was never as high on Generico as most, it's clear that these two match up nicely. I dig how they're setting up that big live show. Although seeing Zayn wearing a t-shirt under a baggy blazer made me want to see Cesaro dismantle him. Regal on commentary puts over how incredible their last match was and how excited he was to see the rematch. Regal is so fucking stellar on commentary, and a big key is because he doesn't force talking points, doesn't sound like he's shilling anything, everything about him sounds like he's just giving his genuine thoughts. Michael Cole is the shits as he just spews constant buzzwords and shouts in soundbites. It gets fucking unbearable. Regal is calm, doesn't shout out his phony sounding cliches, and just seems like he enjoys what he enjoys. Renee Young is really great too and sounds like she knows her stuff. Her interactions with Regal are gold. Although god is the Simpsons "Choo-Choo-Choose Me" line the only one anybody in WWE knows? Feels like I've heard it three times on TV this year.

3. Tye Dillinger vs. "Moonchild" CJ Parker

1 minute match which is a real bummer. There's no real reason to do 1 minute matches these days. Especially disappointing as both guys looked good. Well, Moonchild doesn't look good, he's horrible to look at. He looks like a man who refuses to leave an Umphrey's McGee show because they may come out for another set. "I'm not leaving until I get a Trenchtown Rock cover!" Dillinger hits the mat and looks great on it, and if Regal is putting over your matwork on commentary then you're doing something well. Things pretty much end here with Parker hitting a nice senton, airplane spin and then the most awesomely ridiculous palm strike called the Third Eye, which is basically a Shoryuken.

After the match Parker gets on the stick and breaks out some insanely great hippie heel work. "You people boo me? I should be booing you for what you're doing to the polar ice caps!" Talks about how his modified Ford Fiesta gets 40 mpg and how he always practices recycle/reduce/reuse. Yes! This motherfucker joins the loop and I want more heel hippie dirtfuck. "I was the guy picking up garbage at Reggae on the River, and now I'm the ones picking up wins in NXT!"

4. Luke Harper & Erick Rowan vs. two guys

Surprised to see the Wyatts here but their appearance is just a brief kiss, as Harper blasts one guy off the apron with a beastly running elbow and this doesn't really go 30 seconds. Just a mauling.


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