2022 Ongoing MOTY List: Real1 vs. Lince

 

30. Real1 vs. Lince Dorado MLW 5/13 (Aired 7/7/22)

ER: Look, it's been a long time since I've been accused of pretending to like - or dislike - a wrestler just to be a contrarian. Maybe it's the decline in message board usage, maybe it's that everyone now recognizes my honesty and ability to back up my opinions, or maybe it's because we all collectively give less of a shit about pro wrestling arguments than we used to. Why was Mark Henry such a lightning rod? What didn't people see in Comandante Pierroth? Who's to say. I have no interest in pretending to enjoy wrestlers who are actually bad at wrestling. My wrestling writing time is limited these days, so why would I spend time writing about bad wrestlers? I want to write about guys who surprise me, about guys who put in the work and got really good, who nobody else talks about because they - the wrestler - aren't cool in any way whatsoever. With that in mind, it brings me no joy whatsoever* to say that Enzo, the Real1, has gotten really good. 

Enzo and Lince Dorado had at least 30 WWE singles matches in 2017, including a 15 minute (!) lumberjack match on Raw. I'm not going to go back and watch those Enzo/Kalisto matches. Maybe I'll go back and watch the tag with Drew Gulak in it. But those 2017 matches would not be like this match, because these two were very different wrestlers then. I didn't care about Enzo in NXT, didn't care about his 205 Live run, didn't care when he got released, didn't watch anything he did on the indies. But, I am a big Reelz viewer. A Reelz Head. A Reelz1. You tell me where else I can watch Cops, On Patrol: Live, Cops Reloaded, On Patrol: First Shift, and maybe I'll leave my TV on another channel 24/7. One night a few weeks ago, turning on my TV expecting to see my little 4 hour block of Celebrity Autopsy, imagine my surprise when I saw Enzo Amore wrestling in MLW from like a year ago. And then, imagine my surprise when I realized that Enzo had gotten really good. 

Real1 looks like a freak. He's dressed like Ketamine Danny Davis with no tan and fried hair. He was always a big bumper in WWE, but he's evolved his big bumping into being actually good at taking offense. Big bumps are cool, but unique bumps catered to his opponent's offense and done like nobody else are much cooler. I never thought I would say that "I like how Enzo moves" but this is a real gotta hand it to ISIL moment. This match had cool matwork, a big dive, a couple of nasty bumps onto the concrete, and a scuzz bag from Hackensack who knew how to work with Dorado's inconsistent offense. The matwork opening was cool, and look at Real1 grind down a side headlock, or reverse one into a rolling ankle pick. He does some Finlay level violent shit, like yanking Dorado by the arm head and nick first into the top rope on a rope break, but knows that it plays different when he does it. When Finlay would do something like that, he'd come off as a guy leaving some guy's teeth in a pub. Real1 makes it look like something a dealer had to learn to keep his apartment from getting robbed. He fully stands his ground to catch a nice Lince tope suicida, really forcing the contact, generously leaning into everything. 

Dorado got shoved off the top FAR past the ringside mats, real dangerous looking leap to nowhere, but it probably wasn't as viscous as Real1 throwing him into a ringpost with a running splash mountain. He got a real head of steam and threw him accurate, and Dorado hit the concrete really hard. Disgusting. Real1's timing is really good. He knows how to move out of the way at the last step, or get his boot up into a charging Dorado at the last possible second. It makes sequences look more honest, not telegraphed. I loved his sell of Dorado's lethal injection, a move that I hate. He didn't bump to his knees. His soles stayed planted while he bent down into a squat, and snapped up into fast fall to his side, like a beaten rug. You remember Rashad Evans KO'd Sean Salmon, and Salmon's body slumped forward before whipping back like it was under his own control? Real1 did something like that selling the whip of this, the stupidest way anyone has ever hit a cutter. 

Maybe I am going to go back and watch the Enzo/Kalisto matches. 

2022 MOTY MASTER LIST

*it did

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WWE Fastlane 2017 Live Enough Blog

1. Rich Swann/Akira Tozawa vs. Brian Kendrick/Noam Dar

ER: I'm a couple months behind on 205 Live but I do plan to skim through it to catch up. Crowd does not care about this, though over the course of the match the crowd gets into Swann as FIP. Kendrick is great throughout at trying to only be in the match when he's got the advantage. It doesn't always work, which leads to him eating a high backdrop while Swann is about to powerbomb Dar, and then another to the floor before eating a dive. Dar is kind of disjointed the whole match, though I like the way he takes Swann's kicks. This match just didn't have enough going for it. Kendrick was fun but the whole thing was rushed. Tozawa didn't get to do much as the whole match was built around Swann. Swann had nice kicks but his flip dive looked soft, and he came up short on his phoenix splash. Everybody seemed like they were trying, but there's this inescapable desperation that comes through during these cruiser matches. It's like the all know the whole thing is going to die soon. Also, I hate Michael Cole saying "Vintage Rich Swann!" Vintage compared to what?

2. Sami Zayn vs. Samoa Joe

ER: I'm into Joe punching Zayn around the ring, with Zayn picking his moments. Zayn does a great Kawada-like crumble sell after eating a right jab. The bow and arrow took too long to set up, but the legsweep to Zayn's shins was sick as hell. Sami aims to dislocate his shoulder by throwing a mean falling clothesline, and I smile huge when he hits the blue thunder bomb. You can see Zayn's power meter falling but he still tries and still looks for openings, and Zayn is good about setting up trademark Joe offense. Joe just keeps coming forward and it's all about survival for Zayn. I liked the drama around the top rope sunset flip, and Zayn's selling during the kokina clutch. The match was basically an extended Joe beating, which is a good way to debut him on PPV. Zayn was in there to sell and put over Joe's kicks and slams, and mission accomplished. They have a better match in them, but they needed Joe to look strong.

3. Enzo & Cass vs. The Club

ER: Enzo & Cass: The reason why I start these blogs late. I can't risk getting to their segment and having to sit through it in real time. I do have a weird soft spot for wrestlers with no offense, so sometimes I want to like Enzo. And playing FIP in tags is by far his best use. He takes stupid, untrained looking bumps, but it somehow works to make him more sympathetic. I like how Enzo flops while in a side headlock, and like all of Anderson's kneedrops to Enzo's throat. Enzo and Anderson work a really fun grounded side headlock sequence, with Enzo trying to roll to Cass and Anderson rolling through to get him back to the center of the ring. Gallows takes a mean post shot and they do one of those fun spots where Enzo gets knocked out of the sky while attempting a tag. They work kind of an absurd number of fun spots around guys leaping at Enzo and missing. He's essentially Pacman Jones, TNA tag team champ. Cass does a nice hot tag, and they do a great false finish with Gallows yanking Enzo out of the ring just in time. Really fun tag that totally overdelivered.

4. Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

ER: First few minutes of this are just Nia tossing Sasha around the ring, nasty backbreaker, huge hiptoss, even a kind of curbstomp. Ladies make certain moves look better with their flexibility, and I really dug Nia's torture rack. Sasha maneuvers into a guillotine and then we get some cool moments of Nia trying to shake her, and Sasha hanging on: gets shaken out of a guillotine, grabs a backpack sleeper, gets ditched on the turnbuckles, leaps back into that sleeper. I thought the Banks statement looked great, and Nia just plants her with a chokeslam. Also liked the bridge at the finish, looked genuinely tough to kick out of. Still I'm not really sure what they're doing with Nia, as she seems to lose an awful lot for a monster. But, I like Sasha a lot so I'm cool.

5. Jinder Mahal vs. Cesaro

ER: What the hell has happened to Jinder Mahal and why has the wellness exam not figured it out? I saw this guy several months ago in Liga Elite and he looked softer than ever, now he's getting all lean and veiny. Maybe the dude just knows this is his last shot and is busting ass. But the match is good and both guys work it with immediacy, especially Mahal. Mahal looks and works like a heel, throwing clubbing shots and back elbows, choking Cesaro in the ropes, raking at his face, and looking good doing it. I'm surprised this is so Mahal-heavy, with Cesaro making a couple brief comebacks with his impressive throws, but most of the early match is Mahal. But, once Cesaro DOES go on offense, the match doesn't really work as well. Cesaro's 619 is ugly and doesn't fit with his moveset, and there's just no denying the match was better with Mahal controlling things. That's something I wasn't expecting to type. Ending couldn't have been flatter. This had potential, and was fulfilling it, and they lost it.

6. Rusev vs. Big Show

ER: Wasn't really expecting this one, just Big Show kicking Rusev around the ring and Rusev suddenly a babyface. How do they somehow always make Rusev look like a babyface? Big Show's dominance didn't interest me too much, but I loved Rusev clipping the knee and Show's bump for it. But Rusev's comeback is short lived as I guess we need to keep Big Show super strong? He pretty much steamrolls Rusev and it takes way too long. I love Show's leaner physique and big beard look, but man he did not need this dominant of a win.

7. Gentleman Jack Gallagher vs. Neville

ER: Awesome stuff, which felt like the match the Cruiserweight division needed. Gallagher is just a total nutter, and these two really delivered on PPV. They both do great at fast exchanges, and Gallagher takes some brutal bumps, starting with him getting his head whipped into the mat off a double leg. We build to an awesome Gallagher dive, with him just flinging his body sideways and hitting Neville flush, and back in the ring Gallagher goes for a prawn hold and Neville reverses into an INSANE german suplex. Gallagher's landing was like an accidental Great Sasuke bump, just landing right on the side of his head and shoulder. Good lord. Neville's flying is tight and his big moves land with actual force, Gallagher still gets some hope with his glorious headbutt, and this just felt like the match that needed to happen. Both came off looking good.

8. Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman

ER: Well Roman looks like a doof in white soled basketball shoes. Now we know. I'm sure one person, somewhere, was wondering, and now that person knows. And it doesn't matter because this was awesome. Braun throws himself into everything, so the hits and misses are huge. He breaks out a big splash, but misses a charge into the ring post, nails a crazy powerslam through an announce table, takes a huge bump to the floor off a missed big boot. Braun came off like a shark, always moving forward, and Reigns was scrambling from go. Roman is really good at surviving damage and making space for comeback shots, dodging Braun and sending him into the steps, hitting a Samoan drop after Braun hits the post, and these two are really going at it. I'm sure plenty of people will be pissed that Roman went over, but he stood up to a couple superman punches, a spear, and then did an insane big splash off the top before taking a final spear. I'm sure when people think about this match the visual of Braun standing tall on the top rope will seem like a bigger deal than the fact that he got pinned. He'll get his.

9. Charlotte vs. Bayley

ER: I wasn't really feeling the first few minutes of this. I know Bayley is a strong FIP, but I thought Charlotte was hitting the "you're just a fan" stuff a little too hard and the pace was too slow. I did appreciate how after overshooting a moonsault, she followed up with a somersault senton. I'm not sure if that senton was planned, but it felt like she called an audible before going for the pin. But this whole match feels longer than I think it actually is. A lot of this felt pretty sloppy, and I thought the finish run was a mess. Not the match that I wanted. And what's worse is right after Bayley wins, Cole just casually brings up "Hey you know, this is the first time Charlotte has been pinned on PPV!" It's like feast or famine with these assholes. You have the feeling JBL would have been bringing that up every 30 seconds during the match, and here it's just "oh hey btw". Why did they bother having her go undefeated on so many PPVs, even when her winning sometimes didn't make the most sense for the storyline at the time. They had to do so many damn title changes to keep that streak going, and now it's just "oh, hey, that's over!"

10. Goldberg vs. Kevin Owens

ER: This went as expected, but I'm reallllllly wondering when they're actually going to have Goldberg work a full match. They can't have him squash Brock again, and they're running out of time to figure out what they want out of him. Truthfully, *I* don't know what I want from Goldberg at this point, yet I weirdly enjoy seeing him.

ER: Not really much of a PPV. Roman/Braun was top notch, and Gallagher is a loon, and I liked the Club/Enzo/Cass tag WAY more than I expected, but then there was a lotttttt of shrug.

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WWE Roadblock Live Blog

Roadblock was an abolute top 5 favorite WCW syndicated guy for me, and it's cruel they're taunting me like this, and even more cruel that they never gave him a fair shake after WCW folded. Roadblock looked like my childhood-through-high school friend Ben, and I loved them both, though for different reasons. How dare you play with my emotions on a Saturday night WWE.

1. The New Day vs. League of Nations

ER: It's funny how quick the expiration on some WWE stuff is. A few months ago I found myself chuckling at a few New Day segments. Now I find myself fast forwarding their segments about 30 seconds in. According to Byron Saxton, Sheamus and Barrett competed against each other for "about 10 years" before they got to WWE. I'm gonna call bullshit on that one. Unless Barrett is a 20 year vet. I suppose it's possible. Regal and tons of other awesome vets started in their teens. But holy shit if Barrett has been doing this for 20 years and presently wrestles like Wade Barrett?? Sheamus and Barrett are a nice little team though. I'm really loving each guy suplexing Kofi around. Wade busts out a cool tornado snap suplex, starting like a tornado DDT but planting his feet and snapping off the suplex. Really dug Sheamus' twisting vertical suplex into a low Barrett superkick. Big E has the greatest standing splash of all time. I don't think it's even arguable. How many big fat guys have had disappointing standing splashes? Many. Big E not only gets the most height, but lands with the most weight. It's the best. I loved Kofi catching Sheamus on the floor with a leaping bulldog off the steps. I didn't see it coming, Sheamus took it like a guy who also did not see it coming. Nice opener.

ER: I'm not sure who the guy is holding the mic for Heyman, but damn that is some grade A asshole hair right there. Is he being ribbed? Look at the side angle, as his forehead forms a perfect straight line up to his fade. Kudos for the camera crew zooming to a tighter shot of just Heyman, as that goon standing in frame would have been far too distracting.

2. Chris Jericho vs. Jack Swagger

ER: Jericho makes some pretty terrific smug unamused faces on his way to the ring and while soaking up boos during his promo. I loved him running down his people, but disappointed that he twice stated they were always playing catch-up, yet somehow didn't make a ketchup chips joke. Sohrry. They "asshole" chants sound incredibly Canadian. It's glorious. I get less and less excited with every Jericho return, but if he has to wrestle on TV a lot then clearly heel Jericho is a much better option. If only because then we get the return of the mocking kicks!! Those were my favorite part of his offense when I was in high school. I still wish late career Shawn Michaels had done a heel turn. He could have been such an incredible John Tatum. His outfits work so much better as a heel, and by that point he could have had so many fun comedy reactions based around his hair tuft. It's pretty easy to forget Swagger exists on the roster. I need to start watching Main Event and Superstars to see if there are any gems popping up there. Boy, Jericho sure looks off a couple steps in every one of his return matches. Although it kinda works for his heel persona, there's still no denying he's kind of on par with an average divas match at this point. Match itself was nothing to write home about. Swagger still doesn't know how to make an ankle lock look effective. But hey, mocking kicks!!

3. Enzo Amore & Colin Cassady vs. The Revival (Dawson & Dash)

ER: I am a literal 24 months behind on my NXT, so it will be weird to see how some of these guys look in this flash forward. Colin Cassady is a constant source of giggles for me in 2014 NXT, so we'll see if he's figured out how to work big and not work like a super tall Steve Simpson. I have never seen The Revival before. You will be with me as I learn which one is Dawson and which one is Dash. Dash is the one with hair. I figured it out super quick. Dash throws a stiff elbow and takes a nice back drop. Enzo's low crossbody is cool. Enzo seems like a real good FIP, and Revival are good ring cutter offers. Loved Dawson's hard stomps on Enzo's arms. And HOLY SHIT Enzo running for the tag only to get POUNCED by Dawson was one of my favorite spots I've ever seen related to a tag. We've fallen into such a pattern of hot tags turning into double tag outs, with both guys sneaking peaks at the other making sure they time it right, then something like this comes out of nowhere and knocks my socks on my ass. Then they did the double tag afterwards. But Dash did it nicely. Dawson's missed punch segment against Enzo was pretty terrible. Those things were missing by 4 feet. Overall this was a nicely done tag. Enzo fed The Revival really well, and that made the match. I will see more of these guys when I'm all caught up to 2016 NXT in three years.

4. Natalya vs. Charlotte

ER: What does Ric Flair have against button up shirts? T-shirts and suit jackets is a pretty tragic look. If you're smart enough to wear a pocket square, just buy a couple button ups. And you know Flair's t-shirts probably cost some stupid amount. Like they're some kind of "dress" t-shirt. Ugh. Natalya dedicating the match to Bret Hart comes off like such a desperate move. "How about those 2015 NLDS Champion Blue Jays, right? RIGHT??" So do they have Flair constantly with Charlotte just because they're afraid what Ric might do to himself if he wasn't on the road around people? Horrible thought, but it didn't sound unbelievable as I typed it. Her aping Flair spots and leaving the talking to her dad certainly isn't helping her grow as a performer. Man, Bret Hart gets prostate cancer and then his niece loses on a WWE Network special in a match dedicated to him. Tough month. For all of Cole's idiot talk of Natalya needing to "get some blood flowing back to that knee" (huh?) I wasn't ever feeling the knee injury much. The powerbomb hope spot was nice, but I just can't get into Charlotte matches. I strongly dislike her "I'm disgruntled" face, and Flair getting involved in every single one of her match finishes is so beyond tired at this point.

5. Brock Lesnar vs. Luke Harper

ER: Lesnar/Harper is a modern dream match for me, so I'm loving this. Hopefully we get Lesnar clotheslining Brown Snowman in the jaw again. And damn poor Harper. He laces into Lesnar with great punches, a big boot, big man tope, but then has to suffer through so many damn Germans. And sadly for Harper, he takes Germans realllllly well. He folds up so perfectly. It's like gorgeous poetry. I was obviously hoping for a much longer match, at least 8 minutes. The action was solid gold but just left me wanting mooooooore. Brock needs to come back out and demolish HHH in the main.

6. Sami Zayn vs. Stardust

ER: Does Sami always have the ska intro? Or is that his new WWE theme? It's a little high school, but amusing. I wonder if he also sent away for dozens of different ska zines from across the country? And if all of them featured interviews with Mustard Plug. I wanted to start my own ska zine just so my one and only issue could proclaim "We will NEVER interview Mustard Plug". The whole zine would likely just be about Bad Manners. I would call it Chex. And boy for a guy who just made a big "debut" this week, it's weird seeing him just get dominated by Stardust. I mean 5 minutes in and Zayn has just been taking it and taking it. 8 minutes in and Zayn finally finds a way to crack the Stardust code that's been dominating the fed for years. Zayn gets to kick out of the Disaster Kick and wins shortly after, but no matter how much Cole thinks getting a win over Stardust is a way to really make an impact, this was a disaster. Whose idea was it to give freaking Stardust 95% of this match??

7. Dean Ambrose vs. HHH

ER: During the Shield/Evolution matches Ambrose still wrestled like Ambrose, but here he is wrestling almost, really slotting into the HHH cookie cutter match structure. Things get momentarily good when Ambrose dropkicks the his knee while HHH is in the ropes, but moments later HHH is suplexing him on the floor and walking around just fine. HHH is still trying to #TaketheCripplerCrossfaceBack. Man this is methodical. Realllll businesslike. The man really knows how to silence a crowd. Although watching Stardust dominate a match for 10 straight minutes probably didn't do HHH's established formula any favors. God this is dull. We get some perfunctory submissions in the middle of the ring, Cole screaming about how HHH is just about to tap AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FINISH!?!?!? Apparently Ambrose's legs were UNDER the rope when he pinned HHH? Oh, brother. It somehow worked on the crowd, though. I expected them to turn hard but it actually made them interested in the match for the first time. Ambrose misses the elbow through the table and valiantly fights his way into a Pedigree. Man what a dogshit match. That false finish was maybe the dumbest fucking false finish I have ever seen. Whoever laid out that spot done fucked up. I can't believe that HHH would be shown getting pinned anyway, but man bringing up a fake rule after Ambrose beats him with a leg possibly sort of maybe under the plane of the ropes looked waayyyyyyy worse than the Starrcade "slow" count. I guess it was supposed to make Ambrose look strong? Man the visual of that just looked so fucking stupid.

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