NXT 230 7/10/14 Review

1. Bayley vs. Summer Rae

This is just about the most natural of personality match-ups, as Bayley is inherently likeable, whereas Summer Rae has a face of someone who should never be booked as likeable. It's pretty basic, and both are good at what they do. Bayley is good at frustrating Summer with her kind of playful sloppiness when doing amateur rolls on the mat (with Summer hilariously kicking her legs in a tantrum), and Summer does mean unnecessary things like palm Bayley's face during pinfalls. Neither thing would make a victory more likely, but they were perfect character moments that illustrated why this was a nice match-up. Albert is back on commentary and as awful as ever, unable to make satisfying points from a logic or kayfabe perspective. "She didn't get all of that kick!" he was quick to blurt over everybody, after a Summer kick that mostly hit fine and was sold as such. After saying Summer earned a title shot because she was in a movie, he then compares her to Trish Stratus. None of his points make sense within a storyline or any other sense, his allegiances switch mid match, he's just really really bad at his job. Sometimes he goes for comedy, other times he supports a heel, none of it lands. But Bayley/Summer is a fun match and Albert is NOT going to ruin it for me! Summer is someone who really wasn't utilized much on the main roster as a wrestler, which is a shame as she's really not bad, and has more personality than most. Her role on Total Divas has made me laugh more than most on that show. And here I liked the struggle over the finish, with Summer blocking the Bayley to Belly a couple times before planting her with her axe leg drop. So far all the people coming back to NXT after a "demotion" have been really fun and nicely integrated into the existing NXT roster.

2. Sin Cara vs. Wesley Blake

I think I may be the biggest Wesley Blake fan. I like keeping mostly out of the present day NXT loop, so it's fun watching and enjoying a guy like Blake and not knowing what is going to happen to him. Maybe he's released before 2014, maybe he's repackaged and super popular now. My only real insight into NXT beyond the stuff I've watched so far, is the guys who show up on WWE TV. I obviously know guys like Aiden English, sadly Big Cass, sadly Mojo Rawley, etc. will continue to be in these reports because they eventually made the main roster. But a guy like Blake? I have no clue, and that's fun for me. Blake is really good at constructing 3 minute matches, with him on the losing end. Cara is in to hit all his shit, and it can't be a coincidence that this was the best I've seen some of Cara's spots look. Blake got into position for runs of Cara offense better than anybody I've seen on the main roster, ate those springboard crossbodys, took a huge bump over the top and then sprawled big into the entrance ramp catching a dive. For his part he made his brief moments count, blasting Cara with a great uppercut and surprising him (and me) with an even greater right hand. His single arm DDT was swank and lead to him stomping the arm and yanking on it, and Cara was kind enough to sell it for him. Super fun match, did tons with the time. I think with 90 more seconds this would land on my "Recommended NXT" list.

They're kind of bonering up this Tyson Kidd bitter vet angle with the inclusion of Nattie. Kidd as the dickhead falling from grace relegated to developmental vet? Awesome. Nattie asking him about his moral compass? Death. Unless it's building to a Nattie heel swerve, her presence is just muddying waters. We already see them on Total Divas and know they're essentially a normal married couple, her inclusion tries to bring too much real life into a great wrestling angle, and it's coming out worse on the other side. They're overthinking this thing.

CJ Parker comes out to offer a somewhat loaded apology to Xavier Woods, and "I'm offering you peace. I suggest you accept it," is a quote that perfectly nails the annoying heel nuance of Parker's character. The manipulative dirt fuck hippy is a great heel character, and Parker gets the finer points correct. A guy who makes good points but has a smug and self righteous way of delivering those points is the kind of character who works great on a show like this, and something that would get immediately clipped to hell on the main brand. On Smackdown he would just be a hippy heel, and the crowd would just be expected to boo him because he's a hippy. His apology to Xavier is somewhat sincere and that's what makes him jumping Xavier even better.

3. Bull Dempsey vs. Angelo Dawkins
At first all three announcers were laying it on real thick about Dempsey's body, really putting over that he's unique because he doesn't have abs. Just within this match it was already making me want to dislike Dempsey, and that's crazy if any of you know how much I love fat wrestlers. And yeah having a guy who looks like Dempsey on your roster is much more rare these days, but announcers didn't have to point out just how fat Blackwell or One Man Gang or Tenta were, because they were clearly big awesome fat dudes. And maybe that's part of the problem with Dempsey, is that they're spending so much time talking about how unique his round physique is, but truthfully he's not that far away from being in fine cosmetic shape. Those other guys either died fat or - in the case of OMG - spent the last 20 years slowly slimming down so that he now suddenly looks like Richard Moll. Dempsey looks like a guy who can go on a 6 month crossfit binge and look like a hairier version of every other physique in NXT. So it comes off like them trying hard to point out just how unique he is, because the thing that they say is unique isn't really special. He comes off more as an out of shape guy than a wild fat guy. The guy needs to pack on another 50 lb. to actually look wrestler fat. BUT. But. Eventually everybody shuts up, and I can just enjoy Dempsey beating up Dawkins, and that is very enjoyable. While he might not totally live up to how they're billing him, he comes off very well in the ring. Loved him turning a Dawkins' armdrag into a slick side headlock, his body shots are great, his elbows are great, really carries himself like a tank throughout the whole thing. He's a guy I would have liked anyway, without all of the spoon feeding from the announce crew. This match was basically a Dempsey showcase, but also gave us by far our longest look at Angelo Dawkins. We've seen him get zero offense against Big Cass, zero offense against Tyler Breeze, and not even get tagged in against the Vaudevillains. We know he's tall. That's about what we know. But this match filled things in a bit! He took a nice beating from Bull, threw an insanely high dropkick, seemed like a guy you wouldn't mind seeing more from; another guy like Wesley Blake who for all I know was never used again after this taping. I'm excited to see where he and Bull go, and I liked all of what I saw here from both.


4. Sami Zayn & Adrian Neville vs. Justin Gabriel & Tyson Kidd
I was really liking this, even through a couple of clunky Kidd cross-ups, but Natalya's involvement in the veteran dickhead Tyson Kidd story is just the pits. She's a lousy actress, and there were too many moments where she acted all over the place. She's too over the top when she's supposed to be subtle, and I just really wish the storyline had not included her. Unless it leads to a Natalya NXT heel turn, which it probably won't. But I enjoy heel Natalya far more. But I really this was just a straight up tag with two demoted assholes up against a couple top NXT guys. That's all that this needed, the simpler approach. Is there anybody watching out there that would see that tag, and then go "I liked it, but I wish the tag could have furthered some sort of collapsing marriage storyline." It's always a bummer when a person not in the match takes a match you would recommend, and makes it less recommendable. That's Natalya's tombstone right there : "Made Things Less Recommendable". Zayn and Neville are a fun babyface tag team, wouldn't mind seeing both utilized currently this way. It's not like they do tons of double teams (outside of a nutty sky twister press that Neville did off a kneeling Zayn), they just complement each other nicely; just as, Gabriel and Kidd complement each other nicely. Kidd has been a standout as a heel, though he had a couple stumbles in this one. Gabriel turned in one of his better performances though, he's also a guy who makes a better heel than face. And so this was a real nice 10 minute tag, something I easily could have added to the recommended NXT list. But Natalya man. Natalya as TJ's moral compass is just awful.


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NXT 227 6/19/14 Review

1. Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss

Another match furthering the BFF angle, with Charlotte and Summer bickering at ringside leading to a distracted Sasha getting rolled up. Bliss is very much not good but she's clearly trying, she's just super klutzy and not ready for TV. She seems like she almost falls over on every move she attempts, just constantly off balance. Sasha looked good when the match allowed her to, loved her surfboard as she set it up by yanking on Bliss' hair and smacking her to get ahold of her arms. Other little "not actually offense" furthered her likeness to Stevie Richards, like her just grabbing a grounded Bliss by the back of the head and smacking her forehead into the mat. But yeah, there's trouble in the BFFs.

2. Mojo Rawley vs. Garrett Dylan

I was wondering when Jody Kristofferson was going to pop up, after they showed his dad in the crowd a show or two ago. This is not the first time I've seen a fed act like Kris Kristofferson just happened to show up at their event, without mentioning his son was wrestling. And Regal was amusingly harsh on Kristofferson, saying "Mojo Rawley versus...well, essentially a nobody" and pointing out that anybody who wears brown trunks surely doesn't care about their appearance. And this was your typical Mojo match, which is frustrating as it really doesn't do him favors to just work the same formula every match. His matches are always 2-3 minutes of opponent control, then him running through his moves to the end. If we mixed up the order a little bit we could have a more interesting ebb and flow, instead of just waiting until the point where he starts hitting moves. He is not good a taking a beating, although he at least attempted to sell body work that Kristofferson did, so that was welcome. Kristofferson threw really great body blows and had some nice old Arn Anderson type moves, like short knee lifts or stomping the mat while pressing Mojo's face to his knee. He was also real good about absorbing Mojo's stuff, and Mojo hit a killer flying shoulder tackle, really smacked into him. This was fine.

3. The Vaudevillains vs. Angelo Dawkins & Travis Tyler

This is the debut of the Vaudevillains and I love how absolutely giddy Regal is about guys essentially working carny strongmen gimmicks. Fans are flipping out too, and really it is a wonderful gimmick for these two. English is super talented so it will be great to see him actually winning matches. Gotch is a guy who I've actually seen from the very beginning, as I was there live over a decade ago for his very first pro wrestling matches as Psycho Seth in APW. He was terrible. He clearly didn't get it. Outside of a bad "psycho" gimmick (which only involved wearing Hot Topic jeans with an anarchy symbol on the leg while grinning "evilly"), there was an impression that he just didn't get pro wrestling on a deeper level. In maybe his first match he busted his lip open, and there was a little blood, and a couple people were showing some concern. And then he went on the APW message board and let everybody know he was okay, he had just bit his lip. Before that people had been wondering if he had taken a couple of stiff shots, gotten busted open hardway, but no. No he had to let people know it was just an accident. The only other post in the thread was somebody saying "Dude. Kayfabe." He jumped to Modest and Morgan's promotion PWI a year or two later as Ryan Drago, and still seemed like a guy who just didn't get it. Once PWI shuttered I completely lost track of him, and was absolutely shocked when I looked up who Simon Gotch was. I cannot believe he kept working for the next decade, plugging away, getting seen, and ended up in WWE. No matter what I thought/think of him as a wrestler, that's dedication and I have nothing but huge respect for that. This match is clearly a showcase for the Villains, I'm not even sure Dawkins gets tagged in. English looked really great, got crazy height on a legdrop, finished with a nice senton, and I love some of their double teams like the uppercut to back of the head into a quick snap Aiden neckbreaker. Excited to see them develop, although I wish we got more Aiden singles stuff, hopefully the team still allows for that.

4. Kalisto vs. Tyler Breeze

Wonderful little match that felt like a tight short match, and then you realize it got 11 minutes. Both men were so good at their roles and it was paced so well that an 11 minute match turned into a 5 minute WorldWide classic. Kalisto gets matched up a lot with big guys, but Breeze grounded him better than any of them, and most importantly knew how to take Kalisto's offense the best I've seen. Breeze does some fantastic detail work, and there are two specific spots I want to highlight: Kalisto's kip up rana and Kalisto's handstand headscissors. Breeze made these spots look unexpected, stealth and effective, when especially in the case of a man standing on his hands before clamping a headscissors, is an impressive accomplishment. A handstand headscissors is something that requires boatloads of cooperation, and often looks very cooperative. Breeze was able to distract himself, look off balance enough, that the look of surprise when he walked into the headscissors was perfect. Later as Kalisto is on the mat, about to do the kip up rana, Breeze makes his way towards him and makes sure to throw a darting glance over at the crowd, so that his head is turning back towards Kalisto as he's throwing the rana. It made Breeze look totally unprepared and surprised by the move, even though it was clearly the spot, and those kind of details make a match click on such a higher level. And the rest of this is really good too, as Breeze grounds Kalisto with headlocks, and Breeze is a guy I've noted as being good at headlock work in a match. He was good at trying to smother Kalisto and Regal was good at noting that, even pointing out different names for the different kinds of headlock leverage he was locking in. Kalisto had some cool locking stuff, loved his fast tornillo quebrada. And some of his feints when evading Breeze were cool, like a silly little quick handstand vault off the top rope to sidestep him. Ending is killer as Breeze whips Kalisto into the ropes, Kalisto holds on, Breeze stutter steps as he notices Kalisto held on, and when Kalisto tries a quick springboard move Breeze blasts him with the beauty shot. I was way into this match, Breeze is really busting butt these last couple months.

5. Tyson Kidd & Sami Zayn vs. The Ascension

It's a shame this match was actually just an angle/Tyson Kidd heel turn because the match we got was really damn good, maybe Zayn's best performance in a match this year (which covers some nice ground) and definitely the best overall Ascension performance. And no, that's not meant in a backhanded way, I really liked both Ascension in this and Viktor especially looked great. The story goes, that Kidd and Zayn are teaming up because they've both had rough luck lately, so they got their little slumpbuster team, recognizing that the singles belts aren't working for them so maybe combine forces! It makes sense and it's a fine kayfabe reason for two guys to team up for the first time. But the way they have Kidd turn is stupid, as Zayn is taking quite a beating from Ascension, and Kidd gets jealous of Zayn's ring time, actually saying something dumb like "oh, so you want to take all of the match?" and then walking away when Zayn would have been able to tag. Before the angle kicked in we had a nasty fight between Zayn and Viktor, with Zayn hitting his stuff better than ever (his crossbody off the top was perfect) and Viktor working fast and vicious, throwing great strikes, planting Zayn with a back suplex when Zayn tries to tag. Konnor would come in with nice stomps and man now I'm really upset that it wasn't built up as a proper tag match. The first 5 minutes of this are so good! They easily could have had a full match, had Kidd and Zayn lose, and then Kidd flip out afterwards. Instead Kidd comes off lame, jealous of Zayn for taking too long of a beating. Have him turn on Zayn as he blames him for the loss, not because he was jealous that he wasn't in there hitting flippy moves. Zayn is distracted, Konnor hits an avalanche, Fall of Man is delivered and taken brutally, but man now I just wanted the actual match. What could have been.


Good show this week, and next week we get RVD!! Nobody wanted that. I had completely blocked his 2014 return from memory.


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NXT 226 6/12/14 Review

1. The BFFs vs. Bayley, Emma & Paige

I liked the BFFs here, but this got a lot of time relative to what got accomplished. Sasha and Charlotte worked over Emma for most of the 9 minutes, Summer mugged with fans, there was dissension, etc. Sasha is good at this type of stuff, letting Charlotte do the grunt work for the team while she sneaks in to choke Emma with her boot and land other cheap shots, as well as show off her strong apron shit talk game. Emma was a decent FIP, but there really wasn't enough of a comeback or any real hot tag teases, just an eventual tag in to Bayley. It's weird to do a 9 minute match with six people, and have two people never get in the match, so really this was just a longish match to further a Summer Rae angle.

2. Colin Cassady vs. Sylvester Lefort

I have a bad habit of liking a lot of the NXT guys who are clearly being positioned as cannon fodder. It always leaves me in the position of griping about my favorite guys not getting enough match time. The announce crew drops the "deceptively big" line about Cass. "You just don't realize how big he is." That kind of thing never in history had to be said about a large person who actually understands wrestling. You're really big. Act big. If announcers have to remind people that you're physically large, it means you are royally fucking up. Holy shit as I was typing that they said it again. He is 7 feet tall! Lefort is maaaaaybe 5'8". If people are not realizing that Cassady is THAT much fucking bigger than his opponent, it means he is really really bad. "He's the same size as Patrick Ewing!" THEY ACTUALLY SAID THAT! Holy shit I am dying. Did you ever see Patrick Ewing play and somehow not realize that he was a really large, sweaty dude? Cassady is literally on his knees fighting back against Lefort, desperately swinging away while Lefort clubs him, punching at Lefort's stomach and fighting back as if he was modeling himself after Kalisto comebacks. I die laughing during Cass matches. I cannot stop. He's so bad! Oh my god right after he won one of the announcers literally just said "7 feet tall!" I can't fucking even. It's amazing.

3. Sami Zayn vs. Mr. NXT

The video of Bo Dallas leaving after his Loser Leaves NXT match is one of my absolute favorite NXT moments. "I'm calling the cops, for reals...........okay the cops aren't actually coming. But I'm going to call campus security." Match was short and obviously built to Bo getting unmasked and then yakuza kicked while covering up his face. He was really funny playing up his new identity, joyfully yelling "I'm not Bo Dallas!!" throughout the match, not as a response to an accusation, but as a triumphant declaration. He then hilariously evades 4 security guards postmatch, running around and juking them. It's amazing how much I love NXT Bo. The way WWE threw him onto TV gave him zero chance. They took away 80% of his character and all nuance, and left him with a catchphrase which only worked because of the 80% they took away. But man he's good on NXT. "Okay. Just let me go quietly." as he then breaks free from the guards and starts running again. So good.

4. Adrian Neville vs. Tyson Kidd

"A marquee match anywhere in the world!" I mean, it's a match that should be good, and I've really enjoyed Kidd's NXT run so far, but that may be one of the most hilariously overused phrases in pro wrestling. It's arguably not even a marquee match within the context that it's happening. But it's also not even close to silliest match that statement has been made about. And this was a well executed, technically good match, that got completely bogged down by the story they were jamming down our throats. Kidd is frustrated, this is the biggest match of his career (for reasons) and he needs this win or else he'll be the biggest loser in the history of competitive sports. Got it. Except the announcers wanted to make sure we got it, so it's all they talked about all match, and the Kidd loss seemed inevitable from before the bell even rang. What's surprising is that Kidd controlled the entire match, and looked good doing so. This made the finish come off even more lame as Kidd dominated the match but at some point got frustrated that Neville still hadn't given up, so Kidd grabbed a chair and Nattie was like "TJ ermigersh NO! Not like this!!" And TJ was like "But I've tried like THREE OTHER THINGS and he kicked out!!!!" and then Neville hits a superkick which is now apparently tantamount to death, and then hit a (really great) Red Arrow and we are done. Kidd looked good all throughout this, working real stiff, controlling Neville nicely, and Neville was a good FIP, but the whole story was so heavy handed and obvious, and the inevitability of the ending made it tough to give a damn about the match proper.


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NXT Takeover 5/29/14 Review

NXT 223 was just a hype special getting us all jazzed for this show, the first NXT Takeover, which on paper doesn't sound like a good sounding show. It seems like a normal episode of NXT, just much longer. But pleasant surprises are always welcome in life.

1. Adam Rose vs. Camacho

I really liked Camacho in this, he feels like a guy who got the short end of the stick during his time in WWE. But we all knew this was going to be all about announcers fake laughing about how uproarious Rose is. It makes me sad when Regal does it too. It makes me feel like Sideshow Bob howling "TV's bottomless chum bucket has claimed Vanessa Redgrave!" At least Camacho controlled most of this, even if it was structured like an 80s WWF babyface showcase (babyface sells for 3 minutes and then just hits signature offense for last minute). To his credit Rose has an awesome spinebuster, and Camacho really leaped into that thing. So you had Camacho flying into it, Rose planting it, and really that was enough to make this work for me. A lot of Rose's actual work is acceptable, but that personality and facials are just immediate hard passes for me. The announcers working overtime to tell me how fun he is only adds to it.

2. The Ascension vs. El Local & Kalisto

We got some hastily built contenders in the couple weeks leading up to Takeover, contenders that nobody could rightfully believe would be going over the Ascension. Kalisto worked fine as FIP Mysterio throughout most of this, which was all good as he's a guy who can make Ascension look devastating. He had an awesome comeback spot where he was tangled in the ropes facing the outside, with his legs dangling towards the floor, and he managed to catch Viktor in a headscissors and drive him face first into the ring apron. Never seen that before, and it worked great. It would be silly as a regular spot, but loved it here. Things fell apart when Local flubbed his hot tag. He came in throwing some okay back elbows, but then slipped and fell short on a springboard whatever and then hitting an ugly and overly cautious moonsault. Kalisto took a super fast bump to the floor down the stretch, but it should have been Local doing that as Kalisto could have made the Fall of Man look better. Overall match was decent, but Local stunk.

3. Sami Zayn vs. Tyler Breeze

This was the one on paper match that I was interested in, and it delivered. It got tons of time (only 5 announced matches on a 2 hour show, so I imagine the next two matches will be going broadway) and Breeze is really good at pacing these NXT matches. Zayn has some fairly implausible offense and Breeze always makes it look good. Look at how he whips himself into the floor on Zayn's moonsault and flip dive. Breeze is really smart about setting up his spots that hit and more importantly his spots that miss, and really smart about setting up Zayn's misses so that they actually looked like moves Zayn thought he would hit but just naturally missed. Watch Breeze drop down in the corner at the last minute so Zayn crotches himself on a yakuza kick. He timed it so last minute that the announcers got tricked into thinking the kick just landed and Breeze bumped it early. They were selling the impact of the kick and then had to backpedal and go "Oh wait a minute...". Zayn's comeback spots always land big, and I dug their silly convoluted Blue Thunder Bomb set up. It didn't quite work but I appreciated the "big show" ambition. This was a real smart 15 minutes, no bloat, smartly laid out, and both guys came out looking strong. Zayn keeps up the role of lovable hard-working loser, a guy who is right on the cusp but keeps falling short.

Rusev and Lana come out and do their thing, and they're interrupted by total zero Mojo Rawley, who says he's going to stick Rusev's flag straight up his "Putin". He then sprints to the ring and gets flat out leveled by a Rusev superkick, which was totally awesome and unexpected. Rawley gets totally steamrolled here while Lana laughs in his face, and it was such a treat to see this low rent Jim Duggan get flattened. It actually made me excited for a Rawley/Rusev match. I think Rawley will be more interesting against a guy his size rather than in a squash match.

4. Charlotte vs. Natalya

Natalya's promo work for this was probably the best she's ever done. As the most insufferable person on Total Divas, a show rife with insufferable people, her sounding interesting really stood out. She does more to establish Charlotte's credentials than any of Charlotte's dead eye promos did. And this match was not at all what I was expecting. It was really, really good. I mean really good. Better than any match I have seen involving either Charlotte or Natalya. I was fully expecting the entire focus to be on Bret and Flair at ringside, and the bulk of the match be taken up by each person laughably aping the signature offense of their respective cornermen. Instead, they somehow filled an engaging 17 (!) minutes of time that never felt like it was dragging, felt like either woman could win, and left me totally impressed. Charlotte working a tribute act to her corpse father on Raw has been really bad this past year, and seeing her here doing none of that was eye opening. The match felt different right away, with tons of simple but really great matwork. It all felt really snug and felt like they both had to fight over holds. It all looked exhausting. Natalya pulls out a tricky single leg and every tight headlock or waistlock or kneebar or body vice felt like it meant something, and pretty soon Charlotte has Nattie in a nasty figure 4 choke, just squeezing those legs around her neck, and she stands up with it, doing a forward roll that sends Nattie flipping over and slamming onto her tailbone, and I am now totally in love with this grind. Natalya was making all sorts of great faces during the mat portions, grinding in elbows, laughing over her shoulder at Charlotte. We build to a figure 4 spot that could have felt derivative but I don't think did. It felt like a logical peak of the match, with both reaching out to slap and scratch at the other, both stubbornly refusing to back off, apparent it was never going to end the match but was merely taking them through to a struggle none of their prior matches have shown. Then rolling to the floor off it was a cool bit of desperation and being out of strategic ideas. It felt like when a fighter abandons his gameplan and just starts following the mood of the fight, often a poor choice. Natalya takes a big bump into the steps and back in Charlotte starts going for the figure 4 again, but then throws side eye at Bret before locking on a Sharpshooter. Natalya does a realistic looking counter but gets kicked in the face trying to get too cute and lock in a Sharpshooter of her own, and this leads to Charlotte hitting her rolling blockbuster. This match shot so far past my expectations, just totally unexpected. This really felt like it elevated the Divas title, which is a funny thought in the history of WWE. But this felt like two people who wanted nothing more than to win that belt. Lovely to see no involvement from Ric and Bret, outside of encouragement. They even had a showing of respect afterwards which was nice.

I really liked the quick moment backstage where an exhausted Natalya still found fit to give Tyson a quick, familiar but loving kiss and a quick "I love you" before his match. Felt really unforced and spur of the moment.

5. Tyson Kidd vs. Adrian Neville
Another match I wasn't excited for that exceeded expectations. I especially liked Kidd here as he displayed a grumpiness I haven't ever really seen from him. This also continued the trend of simple but effective and tightly worked matwork to start a match on this show. Kidd grounding Neville with a wristlock was one of the nastier moments of the show, and when guys are willing to do matwork with no light showing it can only help to have Regal on commentary. He really gets over the fine points of why a side headlock takeover is painful, and it was a treat hearing him put over Kidd grounding Neville with a headlock (and it was a wrenched in headlock indeed), pointing out how it looks like Neville is just lying on the mat but he is in fact completely debilitated, in plenty of pain AND having his air supply cut off. We get a silly kip-up dropkick mirror sequence that was unnecessary and very out of place for the mood they had established, but Kidd makes me instantly not care by feinting going into the ropes, and instead smashing Neville with a forearm. All the forearm strikes in this were nasty, from both guys, but I especially loved that first one Kidd threw. He then starts amping up the dick behavior by hanging Neville in a tree of woe and kicking at his back (Neville gets to return that favor later in a nice callback). We hit some nice big spots as well, with Kidd hitting a fast flip dive, Neville catching him with a sitout powerbomb that Kidd took at a wild level, a crazy vertical suplex to the floor with both guys going over, and more nice strikes. I lost a bit of interest when they went through any of the fighting on the top rope portions, but it still felt like a real good main event title match. Kidd especially really impressed me and was one of his finer performances I've seen from him. Not only ringwork, but the added character depth (even after when he left in a huff after being the one early in the match to show respect). A real pleasant surprise.

Well, this show looked like a real snoozer on paper. And then the last three matches really delivered and made this show an easy one to recommend. Tough to say whether this or Arrival was the better show, as the Zayn/Cesaro match is still the best NXT match I've reviewed, but I thought Charlotte/Natalya was stronger than the ladder match on that show, which was on par with the Neville and Breeze matches on this show. Either way, so far NXT is 2 for 2 on their specials.


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NXT Episode 221 5/15/14 Review

1. The Ascension vs. Buddy Murphy & Elias Sampson

Quick squash with Sampson not getting in the ring, and Murphy getting steamrolled. Konnor throws several really great stomps to Murphy's chest, and then leveled him with the Fall of Man, which Murphy takes great, really folds himself up.

2. Alexa Bliss vs. Charlotte

Oh yay back to back weeks of Bliss. And it was mostly an extended Charlotte squash, which is for the best as Bliss looks better sitting in a submission than trying to struggle through offense. She still did her overly complicated and clunky roll up (which beat Fox last week) and almost drops herself on her head while bumping a knee to the stomach. Charlotte has a really great abdominal stretch, where she wrenches it in and violently cranks the person's neck. So that was nice. But this wasn't much.

3. Mojo Rawley vs. Aiden English

Bummed that English had to get fed to Rawley, but English made him look good and actually had a real (albeit only 3-4 minute) match with him. Mojo can't do much so the whole match was English doing his thing until we get the go home sign and Mojo does his shoulderblocks, rear view and bombs away, in order, as always. Really wish they were giving Mojo his ring time off TV, as I'd much rather see English in a real match.

4. Angelo Dawkins vs. Colin Cassady

Man now we get a Big Cass extended squash. What the hell is with this episode? Cass is a guy with some cool short strikes: I really like his body shots and knees. But all of his impact offense looks bad. He's like a guy who grew up idolizing Test. And SAWFT was amusing for like two matches, but I have a feeling I'm going to be seeing him use it for a couple years.

5. Tyson Kidd vs. Tyler Breeze vs. Sami Zayn

This is for the opportunity to face Adrian Neville at the upcoming TakeOver show, but damn I just wish they had done a singles. Any three of these guys would match up nicely in a singles. But I suppose it's not crazy for the winner to face Neville for the title, and the two losers of this match fight at TakeOver, with the winner of that maybe getting a shot down the line. If that's what they plan to do. And this match just never clicked. We had some classic triple threat disappearances, and couple silly trainwreck spots, and guys selling like they had been through the war of their lives after 7 minutes. This whole thing is mostly flat, but it didn't get truly bad until the premature WARTIME selling. The type of shit where a guy breaks up a pinfall and all three lie on the mat selling and breathing heavy, like they just got done with a Godspell performance. All three men, lying there selling as if they've never been more tired, even though all one man did was pull another man off of another man.

This was a bad show right here, filled with squash matches of a couple of my least favorite guys, and topped with a lousy main event.


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NXT Episode 219 5/1/14 Review

HHH opens the show and sounds markedly drunk as he stumbles through run on sentences, mumbling about the future, oddly touching his face and smacking his lips. Dude looks and sounds wasted, like he's most focused on standing up than what his next words will be. "And there will be...there will be a live 2...hour event. And the name...the name is...the name will be MOST appropriate...for what we have going on, down here...." Pull it together dude.

1. Tyson Kidd vs. Bo Dallas

Regal says that he was a godless heathen before Bo Dallas gave him something to BoLieve in. Though Regal also calls Kidd one of "the last journeyman wrestlers" who traveled all over the world honing his craft. I mean...you can literally say that about dozens of guys who still work American indies and Japan and Mexico. Byron Saxton is so much more palatable with Regal by his side. Regal actually feeds him things and compliments him when he makes a good point. On the main brand they literally spend the whole broadcast just waiting for him to say something they can make fun of. And this whole match was really fun. Dallas is such a completely different wrestler in NXT than he's ever been given the chance to be on the main brand. The confidence he gives off is crazy, because that hasn't been there for even one moment in WWE. All their little things looked good here, super engaging collar and elbows, really trying to bully each other around instead of going through motions. Dallas got into position nicely for Kidd's stuff and Kidd leaned into Dallas' lariats and knees. Dallas is smart using Kidd's offense against him, and hits a bulldog the old fashion way that we all miss. Crowd continues their descent into a bunch of "we're super insiders and in on the joke, this is OUR show" jackassery. Dallas has been really good at handling his spiral from champion to guy who keeps coming up short. The facials and frustration are there, looking like he's about to cry and/or upend a table.

Sasha Banks' line reading is a real step above almost anybody else in the fed. Adam Rose continues to look like the phoniest, most minor league gimmick.

2. Bayley vs. Sasha Banks

Really fun match. They had 5 minutes to do their thing and managed to work about 8 minutes of match into that 5. Not by rushing through their spots but by not wasting any time. No stalling, no chinlocks, just working to finish. Both match up nicely and do little things like hold pinfalls really snug, never looking like they're cooperatively letting the other one kick out, actually looking like *gasp* the pins are supposed to be pinning someone. Both work really nicely in the corner, I LOVE that Bayley uses a bearhug (because, of course), and I wasn't expecting the Banks win. The backstabber into a crossface is a great combo as the backstabber is so much better as part of a sequence instead of the be all end all. Sasha has kind of been portrayed as someone who always fails in big moments, whether they mean to be doing that or not, so this was good.

3. Adam Rose vs. Danny Burch

Really didn't need to see this match again as they just ran this a few weeks prior and there are so many other guys I'd rather see Martin Stone up against. The last one was a bad Rose showcase squash and this at least had some Burch offense as Burch controls a bit to start with some go behinds and a nice punch, but then we go into dogshit Rose squash mode.

4. Natalya vs. Layla

Layla!!! My favorite! I thought she got really good teaming with Michelle McCool and hadn't realized she was still in the fed at this point. Regal talks about how Layla picked up some "very vicious habits" from him. Love it. And really Layla is still really good. Her facials are better than most Divas, and she knows how to put over that she's really enjoying dishing a beating. She's also great at making it look like she's talking shit to her opponent when she's actually just calling spots. That's an underrated skill right there. The Natalya win was never really in doubt, but I was surprised that Layla took the entire match up until the sharpshooter finish.

5. Oliver Grey vs. Mojo Rawley

You know what happens here. Mojo hits some weak avalanches and a decent bombs away. For a guy clearly not ready for TV, he sure is on TV as much as anybody.

6. No DQ Match: Brodus Clay vs. Adrian Neville

I guess we needed this No DQ match? Their match a couple episodes before this was pretty bad, ending in a count out after Brodus missed a terrible looking splash off the ring steps. I'm sure we were all ready to forget about the feud that really just happened out of nowhere anyway. And then they shut my mouth by going out and having a really damn good match. It's No DQ but they don't bog it down with weapon spots, and instead let the match stipulation inform their attitude. So they aren't wrestling a rote match with the addition of a chair or table spot, but instead Neville jumps Brodus at the bell and starts stiffing him, so Brodus is fighting underneath right from the beginning, meaning once he starts shifting tides he's doing things with an exclamation point. He's kicking Neville in the ribs, he's slamming him unsafely, he plants him with a big splash off the top, big avalance in the corner, belly to belly, fat elbow drop. The guy actually looks pissed and so does Neville. That's a huge difference from their previous encounter. Clay grabs the NXT title and rushes Neville with it, but Neville sidekicks him, kicking the title right into Clay's chest and throat and leading right to the Red Arrow. I loved the abruptness of the finish, really made the first involvement of a weapon seem like a bigger deal. Really good match.

Better show this week than we've been getting, although I reallllllly want them to stop these 6 match shows. I don't need a fucking Mojo squash every damn week, don't need Adam Rose. Just give me 4 matches that run 5-10 minutes each. But I like the idea of the women's tournament and that main event was really damn satisfying.


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NXT Episode 218 4/24/14 Review

JBL (who apparently is going to be all over this show now, and just wasn't mentioned as being affiliated with NXT at all for many months) tells Paige she's going to need to vacate the NXT Women's Title, since she's now Divas Champion. There's going to be a women's tournament which could at least serve as a way to introduce a couple of lesser seen faces, or debut someone. We'll see. Tournaments can be pretty lazy, and Paige herself is still there so why not just put her in regular title matches until she loses the belt? It's not as satisfying as building to an actual title match, but I think it would be far more interesting than a tournament. Have JBL say that Paige will be too busy defending the Divas title, and we need to keep the NXT title in NXT, have her face a series of challengers, and if she loses then you get your new champ, and if she keeps winning then maybe the women of NXT need to work harder before they get their title back full time in the fed.

1. Alexander Rusev vs. Travis Tyler

Pretty mechanical squash, with Tyler at least rushing him at the bell with a dropkick. Rusev's knees to the body looked good, his 12-6 elbows down into Tyler's traps looked mean, he had a couple nice slams and a great rushing Vader bear attack, really wrenched in the Accolade. Crowd chanting is getting more and more annoying each show, here they tried sloppily to sing Adam Rose's song. Too cool to watch a 90 second long squash and react to actual violence.

2. Charlotte & Sasha Banks vs. Emma & Paige

Nothing offensive, but nothing that stood out about this match either. In a short match they "built" to two different moments where the legal team members were slowwwwly crawling to make the hot tag, each looking over their shoulders to make sure they time it right. Ugh. I liked Paige's rolling short arm clotheslines, with her not letting go of Sasha's arm. Sasha had a couple nice moments as well, like stomping on Emma's fingers and selling her neck nicely on a tag. Emma looked lost a few times, and again her gimmick may be a smart way to cover up these kind of moments. Paige also sold Charlotte's neck snap finish nicely, holding her jaw as her lights went out. Eh.

3. Tyson Kidd vs. Mason Ryan

Fun little match with a dumb little finish. I thought they were going for the same thing they did last week with the returning Oliver Grey getting run over by Camacho. Here Tyson Kidd returned and Mason Ryan steamrolled him for much of the match, which makes sense with the size difference. Kidd was good making openings for himself, trying leg kicks, trying to scramble, but I really liked Ryan's power offense here. He caught a leg and did a cool double leg rushing slam into the corner, dropped a nice leg, grabbed Kidd on a springboard and dropped him with a press slam dropped into a pancake. I was into Ryan beating him down and Kidd fighting back. And then Ryan missed a charge and Kidd hit a so-so Blockbuster and that ended it. Woof. What a flat finish, with no build, and won by a move that looked like one of the weaker things hit in the whole match.

4. Angelo Dawkins vs. Tyler Breeze

Man Breeze needs a better finisher than the Beauty Shot. His squash matches always see him wrenching on necks and doing other nice ground stuff, but then end with him doing a standing floaty spinning heel kick. It usually looks like one of the weakest moves of the match. His side headlock looks way nastier than that kick. I'd never seen Dawkins before, but this didn't really have anything to judge him by.

5. Corey Graves & The Ascension vs. Sami Zayn & The Usos

Give a trios with capable workers some time and it's tough to have a bad match. It's pretty easy to have a solid trios with only 3/6 of the workers being capable. And this is a fine, workmanlike six man tag that gets 13 minutes and has plenty of fun moments. It felt like it could have gone much higher, as oddly enough I got a real house show match vibe out of the Usos. And don't get me wrong, I LOVE house shows. I'd go to a house show 10 times out of 10 over a TV taping. You get three types of matches on house shows: Guys getting the opportunity to work longer matches than they normally get, veterans working matches playing to the crowd instead of playing to the hard camera, and guys going through the motions and saving themselves for the cameras. The first two types are great. The third type is what the Usos were doing here. Except it was on camera. I get it, you gotta know when to dial it back. It was just disappointing as nobody else in the match was dialing it back. SO I LEAD WITH THE NEGATIVE...but I liked the match quite a bit. Corey Graves has probably been the most pleasant NXT surprise so far. The guy is good and knows how to carry himself. Too bad about them injuries. Early on he does a fist drop off the ropes and I'm like I FUCKING GET IT YOU'RE AWESOME. Viktor was also a stand out and did some cool things you don't see, like kicking Zayn's planted leg while Graves was holding his other one. It should also be mentioned that Albert was terrible on commentary. This guy is the worst. Not only does he do that super phony fake overly excited "Look how much fun this is!!" thing that most WWE commentators are taught to do, but he does countless annoying things during matches. Here he loudly chanted along with the U-SOS chants, says lame ass stuff like "Daddy would be proud" after the Usos do a running hip attack (even though that was Umaga who did that, not Rikishi), and built up narratives within the match that had zero chance of going anywhere ("Who is Jey going to tag, his brother or Zayn!?" Who fucking cares? Certainly not the wrestlers in the actual match.). But no matter. Graves was a slimy shithead, Ascension are better in NXT than you'd think, Zayn is a really good babyface, Usos dogged it but slotted into the formula just fine, and this was a perfectly fine 6 man. Shame Graves had to lose clean, but I get it.


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Wrestlemania 31 Several Days Later Not-At-All-Live Blog

Not really excited for this show and truthfully kinda wiped after attending Evolve 40 and the WWN Supershow this weekend, but we've kinda established this trend and now we're stuck with it!!!

1. The Usos vs. Los Matadores vs. The New Day vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd

ER: Oh man the Uso's 49ers gear is awesome. Love that red and gold. It mildly annoys me that JBL and Cole act like the Usos running corner hip attack was an old Rikishi move, when it wasn't at all. It was Umaga. This match actually got a ton of time and was really fun. They found something for everybody to do and it wasn't a standard "EVERYBODY HIT THEIR SHIT IN 4 MINUTES!" Naomi got a few great moments hitting a wild dive over the top and nailing Nattie with the Rear View, which I actually think it maybe the best butt-butt in the history of wrestling. Great spot for her. Cesaro gets some fun cut off spots, Kofi/Big E's finisher hits great, Torito gets a big dive, Uso hits a million superkicks, etc. The whole thing was worked exactly how it should have been, and got tons of time to succeed. Nice start to things.

2. Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

ER: Even though I'm so-so on him I'm glad they gave KENTA a few showcase spots in this. Crowd dug it too. Him beating down and booting Bo Dallas over the top was great. KENTA also had a great section with Goldust. Goldust looked killer all throughout this throwing the best right hands you'll see to everybody that came close to him. Zack Ryder took a great elimination bump right on his face. Loved the Big Show elimination tease with Show using CORE STRENGTH to keep his feet from touching. Really so far there's been nobody looking bad in this. Nobody pussed out on their eliminations, everybody was taking big tumbling splat bumps. I had predicted Mizdow winning this thing and the final showdown with him and Show was great, and I know it's a pointless pre-show battle royal that they've already proven means jack shit (with the almost immediate de-push of Cesaro last year), but why put Big Show over in this? Give Mizdow a fucking moment.

Ladder Match!

3. Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Stardust vs. Luke Harper vs. R-Truth vs. Dean Ambrose

ER: Dolph looks like he was playing beauty school in the back with his little french braid. Opening dive train was good with Cody's great Falling Star, Ziggler getting launched on a backdrop, Harper hitting a big tope, Ambrose hitting the elbow drop off the tallest ladder. Stardust's missile dropkick to a ladder with tons of guys on it was beautiful. Ohhhhh shit the Star Ladder!! Excellent touch. Ambrose/Harper is such a great match up, and Ambrose's chop/jab combos looked killer, with it all capped off by the biggest boot by Harper and a nasty hotshot into a ladder. He drills Ziggler for good measure. Cody has looked really great in this, loved the nutso superplex he took off the tallest ladder. Ambrose does a rebound "push over a ladder" which is wholly goofball yet I love him for it. And dear god Ambrose might be fucking dead as he takes a powerbomb from the ring through a ladder and just folds in a gross way. I guess if you need a believable way to keep someone out of a match for a length of time, go for broke right? We get a bunch of genuinely good belt grabbing teases at the end, and Ziggler looked so awesome sprinting up the ladder. He and Bryan punching each other at the top looked nasty. Bryan especially was laying 'em in. That might be the most immediate and violent "two guys fight on top of ladder" spot I've seen. Usually guys are too busy moving slowly and "being in a WAR" but these two were scrambling and punching and headbutting messily. I had low hopes for this match but it totally delivered.

4. Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

ER: Boy am I not excited for this one. Rollins leans way into an Orton clothesline, J&J take draping DDTs to the floor like wackos, and the Rollins hits a nasty tope so okay okay this is good so far. Orton has been setting up his somewhat problematic signature offense in really smart ways. The way he set Rollins up for the draping DDT was real slick, using Rollins momentum against him. Orton also hits a nice crossbody off the top (though I don't love that reversal spot). Rollins breaks out an asai moonsault to the floor which resulted in horrible landings for everybody. Finish was well structured and Orton took the Curb Stomp wonderfully. But even though I expected it I really have no interest in Orton going over and being back in the main event scene. Full credit to him for turning it on on the big stage, but fuck if I can think of another big star that I want to see less in matches.

5. Sting vs. HHH

ER: Ho. Lee. Shit. Have you EVER seen a bigger large stage jack off experience than HHH's Terminator entrance? That entrance had to have been taken from a letter written by a 13 year old and sent to Heavy Metal magazine. I assume my feed cut out and I missed him being surrounded by naked women with fake tits and he ends up fucking them all to death.

"The dream match that nobody thought would ever happen!!" Well, that's true Cole, but that's mainly because not one superfan ever considered fantasy booking this particular match. Although I do have a long running well documented love of matches where the combined age of the two participants is over 100. HHH gets a crazy bruise on his leg, and Sting gets a nice red welt after missing a Stinger Splash into the barricade, Sting also takes a nice spill into the ring steps. HHH takes the boss Race bump and later takes a big one on a backdrop to the floor. Billy Gunn also went for broke on his run in, sprinting down in half the time as X-Pac and Dogg, and taking a nice bump to the floor for Sting. We get the nWo/DX showdown with X-Pac taking a big bump on the ramp for a Hogan punch, Sting hits a huge dive from the top to the floor (is that a first? Felt like a big deal, especially for a guy in his mid 50s) and it all led to a nice false finish off a Scorpion Deathdrop. GREAT spot where Sting breaks HHH's sledgehammer in half with his baseball bat. And then HHH wins, which I must say is not surprising per se, yet kind of surprising. But not surprising. HHH worked hard in this and Sting came in shape, so this was realistically the best match these two probably had in them.

6. AJ Lee & Paige vs. The Bella Twins

ER: Only 5 minutes but they fill the time nicely. Nikki is firmly accepted as a good worker at this point, and she does well here, running face first into a nice boot from Paige, and I LOVE how great she takes AJ's Black Widow, really getting bent in a nasty angle while holding up all of AJ's weight. Brie hits some nice knees here and yeah this is totally fine.

7. John Cena vs. Rusev

ER:

***Sorry I got interrupted while watching this show, hope to have the review finished within the next couple days***

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WWE Fastlane Live Blog

1. Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan & Ryback vs. Seth Rollins, Big Show & Kane

PAS: Pretty fun poor man's Shield trios match. They should just open every PPV with a six man, and give it some time. It is a good way to hide limited guys, they can just come in and hit their stuff. Thought Rowan looked really good, the bump to hurt his knee was cool, and his selling was good. Finish run wasn't as great as your Shield end runs, but I loved the running KO punch finisher. Not the most unique way to reintroduce Orton, but it was a good idea to have him go away for a bit.

ER: A six man is pretty tough to do poorly if you give it time, and this was a perfectly good six man. I read they had plans to make Rollins look strong on this show going into WM, and Rollins arguably looked like the weakest guy in the match. Rowan owned this match, if they wanted to push it as such it could be a real nice way to advance him. He looked strong in all his early stuff, big elbow and leg drop, and was going toe to toe with the big guys, until the brutal spin kick into the post (which looked good). Then he was a good FIP (even putting over Show doing goofy-but-amusing Indian deathlocks) all building to him using his dead leg to spin kick Rollins. Ryback was over and came in and hit some cool stuff, loved his powerbomb that just launched Rollins. Finish was a little lackluster and Kane really needs to stop getting PPV wins, and I was really enjoying my Orton vacation, but again the six man is tough to mess up and this worked  in a vacuum. As far as booking going forward? Rollins was an afterthought throughout, Ziggler refuses to not get any sort of chance, and I doubt Rowan gets a strong singles push.

2. Goldust vs. Stardust

ER: I thought they did about as much as possible with the full non build they received. A rushed break up one week before the show, thrown out on PPV with not much story or reason. I'll never understand their obsession with breaking up teams who nobody actually thinks will be better off solo. They've tried Cody solo, he's always far more successful in team. Goldust is obviously a great singles worker but they're not actually going to push him as a singles star. So I thought the match was fine even though Cody works much better as a tag guy. Goldust tried his damnedest to get the crowd into it and I liked his selling of the body vice, even holding his side convincingly all through the post match. Goldust dished some nasty back elbows while in the vice, and even though that finisher came out of nowhere I thought Goldust setting it up was super impressive. The guy is 45 and moved through all those reversal sequences like butter. Cody only really looked good in the backstage post match stuff, lacing into Goldust with stiff rights and nailing a low superkick. Still not sure about the need to break them up, or where the hell they take things from here.

3. Usos vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd

ER: Cesaro is wearing knee pads and after years of being conditioned the other way this now looks weird (even though it took a long time to get over guys like Casas who go in there with just boots and undies). And damn I really dug this. Cesaro/Kidd worked really great as a team. Usos have been dry as dirt the last few months so I liked Cesaro/Kidd working over the leg in the first part. The knee stuff was cool with Cesaro hitting the wild double stomp. This is the best Kidd performance I've seen in some time, he looked really on point and his timing was spot on. Loved the stuff on the apron with him booting an Uso in the face, going for another and getting rocked with a Samoa drop into the guard rail. That was a great spot. Cesaro gets to break out his epic superplex lifting the guy from the apron, and I'm glad they put the titles on them. Usos had a good run and I think they need to go back to fighting from under. Finish was abrupt but I liked the call back to the leg as Kidd blasting him in the knee was enough to allow him to hit his rolling fisherman suplex to win it. Nice tag. Still kinda crazy to think that we were getting a couple tags better than this every week on TV one year ago.

ER: I have zero interest in seeing a HHH/Sting confrontation. It will lead to HHH vs. Sting, which sounds horrible. I switch over to the Oscars during this. I saw most of the Best Picture noms this year. Boyhood and Whiplash were really great. Imitation Game was brutally bad. I liked what Birdman went for but felt more like a good idea than a good movie to me. Not a shock I loved Grand Budapest as well. American Sniper sounds like the name of a Toby Keith album.

4. Paige vs. Nikki Bella

ER: Boy another abrupt finish. Paige looked somewhat clunky, as her roll up into a turnbuckle was really weird. Dug the kick to a charging Nikki's arm, liked Nikki's selling of it, loved her big powerbomb. But I've seen better Nikki performances.

5. Dean Ambrose vs. Bad News Barrett

ER: Crowd is ice cold for this whole show and I think it's making things come off way worse than they actually are. Some guys have gotten chants but for a full looking house (all the cheap seats look full on cutaways) there have been a lot of silent moments. There's a black dude dressed up as Sting in the crowd but with his beanie it's reading more like Dead Presidents.

Oh god and we a DQ finish for not breaking a hold? Are we back to that thing where refs are supposed to call matches as if they were a shoot? That was about as limp a way to end a PPV match as possible. And hilariously it happens one minute after the crowd was actually threatening to get into the match. Both guys leaned way into each other's shots with Dean making all of BNB's big boots look great, and Wade really taking Dean's running dropkick and two rebound lariats nicely. Loved Dean's rebound lariat on the floor when BNB tried to throw him into the ring, and the rebound in the ring was the most the fans reacted to anything all night it seemed. And then. that. finish. Good gracious.

ER: Pretty sure the only people in the arena who thought Undertaker was in that casket was Cole and JBL. Although it is amusing to think about Bray Wyatt going through the process of hiring druids for this bit. Also liked them putting over how silent the crowd was out of reverence to the Undertaker. Looks like they've been paying that reverence for almost 2 hours now.

ER: I was just reminded that we didn't get Elimination Chamber this year because we got this show. Blecch. The Chamber was my favorite WWE gimmick match, always a fun way to use 6 guys. But hey. We got Fastlane.

6. John Cena vs. Rusev

ER: Really excited for this one as Cena vs. Monster matches are usually almost as dependable as Lawler vs. Monster matches. And the match ended up being good. Not the epic I was hoping for, but hopefully setting up an epic. I'm glad Rusev went over (although with their booking that usually means he will be going down at Mania), and I like him blasting Cena in the nards and locking on The Accolade. Cena's biggest strength has always been his bumping so he's always really effective in these kind of matches. Rusev still sometimes comes off as a guy with fake "real strength" but Cena is good at working with those types too, making throws seem more devastating. Cena also totally plants himself on a DDT that was a great spot. Loved the reversal into a Crossface by Cena, and enjoyed the match as a whole.

7. Daniel Bryan vs. Roman Reigns

PAS: Man you forget how good Daniel Bryan is at wrestling. This was really excellent. Reigns is a guy with some impressive spots, and Bryan built a really cool match around those spots. The liver kick was an awesome looking counter and working around him being stunner, makes Bryan smacking around a bigger guy much more credible. I loved Reigns as Rampage Jackson beating his way out of submissions with nasty forearms. I would hope that we get a rematch if Reigns wins the title. The Memphis crowd acting like this was Bill Dundee v. Big Red Reese hurt this a bit, but I still think this was WWE Match of the Year.

ER: Yeah this was really good, although I didn't love the finish of Roman taking tons of abuse and hitting a flash Spear. Not really loving the idea of The Spear as a death move, and didn't love how Reigns not only got to kick out of the knee but acted like he was pretty okay afterwards. Those are my complaints, the rest of the match was awesome, easily the best singles match Reigns has been a part of, and an awesome return to form for Bryan. This had some great moments and an epic build. I loved Reigns getting caught in an armbar, and then it looked like Bryan lost it but it worked great kayfabe as it allowed him to maneuver naturally to the center of the ring and lock in a particularly nasty YES lock. Bryan really laced in with those kicks, and the sequence of Roman catching that last kick (and you knew Bryan was taking just a biiiit too long to throw it), leading to them throwing slaps was awesome. Also loved Reigns catching the second dive was great, as after the first dive I thought "That didn't have the same impact his dives normally do" so it was already in my head that it was blockable, and then bam, caught, nasty throw. Jeez then we had the one spear attempt countered into the small package. Great match.

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2015 WWE Royal Rumble Live Blog

ER: Well, this show doesn't look that good on paper, but Rumble has been my favorite "big" WWE match since I was a kid so I always go in with unrealistic hopes. I'll do my not-normally-necessary skim through of the kickoff show. I really love Renee Young's short haircut. Looks awesome. Byron Saxton looks like he's animated.

1. The New Day (Big E & Kofi Kingston w/ Xavier Woods) vs. Cesaro, Tyson Kidd

ER: Well this match would have been much more promising if they had dropped Rose and Kofi. But a 6 man is a pretty hard thing to mess up so we'll see. I haven't seen The New Day as a team before, but I like that their gear looks like a coordinated Christian rock band. I'd like to see promo photos of them on a beach, all facing different directions, one of them with arms lifted towards the heavens. Boy has anybody's stock dropped more than Cesaro's over the last calendar year? He's one of my favorites but teaming with Kidd and Rose (two guys who would be non-shocking future endeavors) on the pre-show is just brutal. And hey I just realized that the match is actually Cesaro/Kidd vs. Kofi/E. I'm gonna go ahead and edit that match description, but leave in my opening remarks so I sound like a doofus. This was a pretty forgettable match with a nice little finishing stretch. Cesaro threw some nice boots and hit a nice uppercut on Kofi leading to the pin, Big E got some nice moments with a massive belly to belly and his cool spear through the ropes. Kofi's offense still can't crack an egg. Crowd was actually really hot for this match, which is a good sign going into the show.

ER: I always actually dig the Royal Rumble by the numbers segment they introduced a few years ago. Though this year when it went "38: Number of participants who are WWE Hall of Famers" they showed a bunch of dead guys, so it made me wonder what the number of deceased participants all time.  Also a lot of dead guys when they were talking about the largest Rumble participants. Also made me remember that every year until I knew better I would always pick the fattest or largest guy to win. Stupid kid.

2. New Age Outlaws vs. The Ascension

ER: I have not seen a whole lot of the Ascension, couple of squash matches. The look like a couple of goons from The Guild of Calamitous Intent. Viktor in particular could make a really convincing cosplay Monarch. Like he could probably get his picture on Buzzfeed or something. Viktor locks on a chin lock 2 minutes in, but then follows it up with a nice fist drop so my heart is torn but neutral. Road Dogg looks like he gassed pretty hard. Really the final stretch when Gunn tagged in was pretty fun. But this was 5 minutes and basically wouldn't even stand out on an episode of Raw. All that goodwill the crowd was giving the kickoff match appears to have dried up. Hmmmm.

ER: Annnnnd my feed cut out. "Error. Cannot play video at this time. Please try again later." I do not have a weak internet connection. But this has happened to me literally every PPV I've tried to watch on the Network.

3. Usos vs. The Miz & Damien Mizdow

ER: Mizdow is really, really over which was something that I wouldn't have actually predicted. I also couldn't really get into this match. Maybe I'm in a grumpy mood or something. I just don't really care for the Mizdow tag team, and would rather see The Usos against practically any other team. The Mizdow stunt double spots don't really have much legs with me, especially in a match that could have actually been good. Miz also rarely interests me. I don't like much of his offense, and for the most part he also takes offense poorly. Miz set up a lot of Uso offense really lazily in this. Half the Usos moves seemed to be "foot gets caught, Uso spun around, ends up kicking Miz on the way back around." Pretty flat overall. This is looking like a horrible Sunday night decision so far. If I wanted to blow an evening I could at least watch The Doll Squad or something.

ER: I was amused by Jamie and Joey's poor read while playing WWE Immortals (is that like WoW but with WWE guys?).

4. Bella Twins vs. Paige & Natalya

ER: I really enjoyed the first 2-3 minutes of this. Things kind of went to hell when the crowd started singing and Brie blew a reverse somethingorother driver. I always enjoy Nikki Bella and think she's underrated as a worker. Always does nice kicks to the stomach, throws nasty back elbows, has surprisingly good timing a lot of the time. But yeah this was pretty much 3 good minutes and then 5 minutes of sputtering to a finish. I liked Brie's running Brie Mode knee, but Nattie wasn't a very engaging person to watch take a beating for half a match. And I'm still not sure what Paige is.

5. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins vs. Brock Lesnar

ER: Well this match was completely bonkers, and I completely loved all of it. Total show saver right here. Usually I hate 3 ways but Brock may just be the answer to this type of match as his offense is so destructive that it makes sense for guys to be out of the match for minutes at a time. There was so much great stuff in this. Lesnar basically wrestles a match the way somebody would win at King of the Coliseum. Match starts, immediately just starts throwing people as far as he can. I love it that John Cena is still powerless against his Germans. Cena always takes the Germans really great and seeing Brock toss him violently never gets old. Then you add in Brock double suplexing Noble and Mercury, Rollins taking suplexes in the most painful ways possible (jeez one of the Germans had to have jammed his shoulder). Brock is just an incredible personality to watch. I never want him to go away. Then they go and spectacularly take Brock out of the match by Rollins leaping a million feet to elbow drop him through an announce table. Brock obviously has freakish strength and it was on full display throughout, but he's also always been an incredible bumper, and not just bumper but always makes stuff look great. I'm not sure I've seen anybody make Rollins' curb stomp look as good as Brock made it look. I also love Brock being the one guy to just sell the AA as a standard back bump and just get up from it. This whole thing was a ridiculously fun blur of large men getting dumped on their heads. There were a bunch of great saves in this with my favorite being Lesnar emerging from his table to do a mighty deadlift German on Rollins. Loved all of this.

6. Royal Rumble Match

ER: Oh good, was hoping I would get to maximize my Miz viewing for the evening. R-Truth is #2. These two starting would lend creedence to somebody's "The Rumble is actually booked with guys drawing numbers out of a hat!" theory. If these two were main eventing Superstars it would seem like an off week. Bubba Ray Dudley is #3 and that's a fun surprise. Miz took the 3D nicely so I'll give him credit there. #4 is Luke Harper. Harper/Bubba Ray is a fun match up I never realized I wanted. BRD works a little light against Harper though so I am disappointed. He threw those Mick Foley punches where he kinda aims for above the forehead. #5 is Bray Wyatt. Miz, Truth and BRD are gone at this point. #6 is Curtis Axel and I can't imagine a quieter reaction. But apparently Rowan takes his spot which is very much better. #7 is The Boogeyman. Hey. How about that. One of the only men to not have a good match with Finlay. Wyatt stiffs him with a hard clothesline and is all alone. #8 is Sin Cara. I take back what I said about Axel's quiet elimination. Since Axel never made it to the ring does that mean he's still in this thing? Surprise finalist!!! #9 is Zack Ryder. Wow the WWE has a lot of guys I do not care about. #10 is Daniel Bryan so I do love he and Wyatt getting the ring to themselves.

#11 is Fandango. #12 is Tyson Kidd. Rachel points out the stupidity of Bryan putting Wyatt on the top rope to do a rana, instead of just pushing him off the top. #13 is Stardust. Crowd is pretty quiet even though Stardust comes in with a bunch of stiff shots. #14 is DDP who comes in throwing a bunch of Diamond Cutters. #15 is Rusev and I want him to go on a run. I dig Bryan doing his big dive as you really don't get many legal dives in the Rumble. And Bryan gets hilariously eliminated because HA! I guess they just really wanted Bryan chants the rest of the night. Even Rachel assumed Bryan was going all the way to the end, and she basically only watched Total Divas and doesn't know how booking works. #16 is Goldust. #17 is Kofi Kingston. Goldust looks awesome upon entering, hitting his powerslam on Rusev and getting into it with Cody. The Rumble is pretty much the only reason to keep Kofi around as it's basically the only time I find myself enjoying him. #18 is Adam Rose. Boy. This guy still has a job. Obama could use him as an example of just how much employment is on the rise. But his horribly named Rosebuds do get an awesome spot by catching Kofi's fall on a potential elimination. #19 is Roman Reigns. #20 is Big E. Rusev does his really fun cannonballs.

#21 is Mizdow. I do not care about their storyline. #22 is Jack Swagger. #23 is Ryback. #24 is Kane. #25 is Dean Ambrose. Good, we've had a bunch of people just milling about in there for a bit. #26 is Titus O'Neill. Looks like they were trying to do a "new quickest elimination" angle with Titus, but somebody botched something and Titus didn't go over cleanly, so they had to re-do it. Yeah, JBL immediately goes "Did he just break Santino's record!?" It would be amusing if Titus were booked to break it, and then accidentally/on purpose didn't go over properly. Getting eliminated in 4 seconds instead of the 1 he was booked for would be arguably the most amusing reason to get cut. #27 is Bad News Barrett. #28 is Cesaro. It makes me sad how audibly disappointed the crowd was when they figured out who it was. What did the poor guy do wrong? #29 is Big Show. #30 is Dolph Ziggler. I hope there was some dummy out there who wanted Rock. Are they really doing Reigns/Brock at Mania? They're doing Ambrose/Brock next month anyway, right? So that would be weird if Ambrose wins even though I would love that. Still time for Curtis Axel to make his triumphant return. Damn I wonder what cut Reign's mouth up. That's some good blood and nobody is really mentioning it. "Bullshit" chants starting, crowd is turning on Reigns to the shock of not one person. This is a horrible and totally predictable reaction to Reigns winning. And then Rock comes out and I'm pretty much not interested in Rock at this point. I would be interested in Rock/Rusev. That is about it. Wait Rusev is still in the match!? Oh. There he goes. Huh. Let's cut to the "Roman Reigns in the shot look at Wrestlemania sign" (they cut to that shot while I was in the middle of typing it). Man. Bryan didn't even get eliminated by any nefarious means or anything. Dude just wasn't good enough to hang.

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NXT Episode 207 Workrate Report 2/5/14

So I am almost 100% unfamiliar with the NXT goings on. 207 episodes!? How the hell is that even possible?? Have I literally missed 4 years of NXT? Or does it work like weird TV season numbers and this is just the 7th episode of season 2. But yeah, I have haven't seen much of NXT, is what I'm getting at. I've seen the occasional Hero or Ambrose match and that's about it. Never watched a full episode, but I like the fact that exists in its own little bubble, in the same way that Saturday Night or WorldWide used to exist. So in a way this is like WWE B-Sides. I still wish there was a show like Velocity, but this is probably the next best version of that. So, what the hell, let's start reviewing NXT weekly shows!

1. Sin Cara vs. Alexander Rusev

First time seeing Rusev here. I dig the guy's old school powerlifter build. He....doesn't seem that good. But I'm not shocked that he's getting brought up to the main roster. He's not very good at hitting his marks. Cara had to shove him into position at one point when he was taking too long, and he backed too far away from a Cara moonsault press so it ended up hitting him like a backflip dropkick instead. His offense is pretty dry, with mostly power stuff and some random kicks peppered in. He did do a running dropkick at one point that looked really great, really felt like a John Tenta style dropkick. He works this match too evenly, and at one point holds Cara in an armlock for far too long. I get that most short WWE matches need to have that pointless moment where the heel holds a face in some sort of a rest hold to build for the comeback, but it felt more pointless than usual here. Needs more impressive power spots. Plus his average height will be exposed when on the main roster.

2. Alicia Fox vs. Emma

Fox has been the best Diva for some time now, does all "between moves" stuff a lot better than most Divas (and plenty of male workers). Nice stomach kicks, actually makes restholds look like she's working a hold, really nasty wristlocks that looks like she's manipulating joints, cool reckless forearms from the mount. Emma does not seem very good, and I'm already starting to turn on her as she's getting mostly tepid responses but announcers on the main brand and now NXT are putting her over as somebody the crowd just goes batty for and pretending more than 30 people in the crowd are doing her dance. Here she takes a year to do a reverse rolling cradle and just as long to try and set up the Tarantula. I do like her doing the Emma dance into her finisher submission, but most everything else she does doesn't look good.

3. Sylvester Lefort vs. Mason Ryan

Oh hey it's Mason Ryan. Forgot about him. This goes about 45 seconds but is done the way a squash match should be done. Dug Ryan's hotshot into a running big boot. Good follow through on the boot. Would have liked to see some more from Lefort as I dug his hiked-high tights and beard. His strikes didn't look very good though.

4. Aiden English vs. Tyson Kidd

English looks like tall muscular Screech, and when he's wearing that beret he looks like Screech from that Saved By the Bell episode where Screech was in a chess tournament, and Zack and Slater make a bunch of money by running a gambling ring to capitalize on Bayside's sudden and never-again-mentioned chess fever!! Kidd looks really good in this, missing a crossbody in the ropes, throwing nice kicks and doing a cool rana that sends English face first into the turnbuckles. Kidd gets the Blockbuster for the win after English is distracted by some guy named Big Cass who threatens to steal Screech's lucky beret. Couldn't get a great read on English but he threw some great Bret Hart style falling elbows.

5. Adrian Neville vs. Corey Graves

Neville used to be PAC (they still use his moniker The Man Gravity That Gravity Forgot) and Graves is the former Sterling James Keenan. Boy WWE developmental names leave a lot to be desired. Graves has a real good look, like an indie rock Chris Isaak. PAC's flying is always impressively effortless.  I cannot imagine having that much knowing control of my body. I mean I have alright balance and don't trip over my own legs when I go running, but seeing PAC hitting a running tope/moonsault press (picture what starts as a dive over the ropes but adds a twist in the middle to land like a moonsault press) is pretty stunning Most of this match is Graves working over Neville's leg, which he does well. I always like the DDT done to the leg, and he gets a real high cradle on roll ups. The guy looks like he has to actually kick out of pins, not just get let out. Neville is really great at selling the leg, too, which makes the leg work better. Crowd doesn't seem to give much of a shit though. Neville is still good at selling while doing his moves, which is not something you see often. He eventually makes his comeback and hits his killer twisting shooting star off the rope. I liked what happened in the match fine, everything looked solid. It wasn't terribly compelling, and it should have been. The story of "guy gets weapon taken away by wily opponent" usually gets people into it, but they certainly were not here. Now I know nothing of the history, or how the crowd normally responds to these two, but I would have expected them to be a little more receptive to this.


COLLECTED NXT REVIEWS

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Rifling Through the Trash: The Unfinished Segunda Caida

We here at Segunda Caida all watch a lot of wrestling. We also start a lot of projects. More projects than we can ever ever possibly finish. We start watching something, write about it, don't finish writing about it, and there it sits. We have about 80 unfinished drafts dating back 4 years. Some of them may get finished some day (IWA-MS show reviews, WAR show reviews), others are kind of pointless to ever finish (old CMLL TV write-ups, reviews of WWE Superstars episodes). Still these write ups all took at least SOME time out of our schedules, and it's only fair that we get SOME use out of them. I mean, we literally took time out of our lives to write about Ruckus and Cryme Tyme. That time shouldn't go to waste.

~More snippets from TomK reviewing ROH "Take No Prisoners" (left unfinished by Phil on 6/23/08):


Between matches they air backstage Age of the Fall promos. With premise being that half of AOF are in Orlando and other half in Philly. I really dig the whole AOF gimmick. A stable of WTO protestors who try to recruit in front of college dining hall isn’t a guaranteed win. But really everyone in it is great. You totally buy Jimmy Jacobs as guy who takes the Larouche pamphlets too seriously, Lacey can do letter perfect complaints about the patriarchy, Tyler Black is totally natural in this role on the mic and you totally buy Necro as this really well read blue collar guy who gets caught up with this group of college leftists. I’m normally a big fan of heel Zach Gowen mic work but his conceitedness ”I’m the greatest inspirational wrestler of all time, I beat the Big Show, made Vince bleed, tagged with Hogan against Piper, etc.” feels like it belongs in Sweet N Sour more than in AOF. But still dug him here. This was first time seeing Allison Wonderland on the mic and for college feminist, she doesn’t know her stuff as well as Lacey did but whatever. The basement space didn’t work for me visually and Jacobs’ stuff works better as guy recruiting than as guy already preaching to the converted.

Phil leaving you to do your joke about how the whole gimmick is too smart for wrestling fans who will never go to liberal arts college or if they do will be too into the anime club to notice anything else.


Briscoes v Necro Butcher/Joey Matthews

HOLY FUCK does Joey Mathews rule!!! I mean he really shouldn’t be doing face first bumps into props, but damn. It was amusing having the valet’s exchange moves in ring. Instead of a catfight spot felt more like they were using the valet’s in role of Scott Steiner wrestling in the ring while Ric brawled outside. It didn’t bother me other than I wanted to see more of the brawling. Necro’s punch to escape the doomsday device ruled. Damn this ruled. There wasn’t any real down time to set up spots, just a really high end street fight. Worth pointing out that even for this type of hardcore streetfight, I didn’t get the sense that there were any excessive kick outs. Felt like they were smartly saving “what will it take to put him away” spots for the underdog main event challenge.

Brent Albright v Erick Stevens

I guess you need a heat killer after that kind of Holy shit brawl. This killed my heat. It may have gone eight minutes but it felt like twenty.

~Snippets from Eric reviewing random matches from 2009 that weren't good enough for Phil to already review (left unfinished 1/17/10):


~Hart Dynasty vs. Cryme Tyme (Smackdown, 11/27/09)

Cryme Tyme are really not that good. Every match of theirs is a battle to see which of them is going to be more awful. JTG does these really distracting hand motions that I'm fairly certain is supposed to be miming "rolling the dice" but it comes off more "wildly ejaculating many dicks with no regard to my surroundings". Shad can throw some really limp shoulderblocks for a guy his size. So while those two stumble around, this match is completely about the Hart Dynasty. I have enjoyed the Hart Dynasty (even though it seems Cryme Tyme is the only fucking team I've ever seen them against...and I've seen alllllllll the matches in their best of 19 series), but November and December just saw them get really good. DH Smith is fairly underrated, and Tyson Kidd is really getting good. They really work like a team.

I don't remember "really" liking DH Smith or Tyson Kidd. The only thing I remember about Smith is that I think that in a year that Finlay got tons of long singles matches, the Smith match might have been his weakest one. Maybe the Boogeyman match. 

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