WWE Summerslam 8/23/20 Taking My Sweet Time Blog

I am not expecting a whole lot from this show, and those shows can sneak up and surprise me. It feels like I've been saying that about every show the last year +, and that's probably because I have not been excited by many on paper lineups they've been throwing out there. But good matches are always a possibility. Sadly, this card doesn't feature Pat McAfee, so good matches on this show aren't as likely. Also, sad to see Renee Young leaving, but obviously she is talented enough to just not be in wrestling. Her commentary with Regal during 2014 NXT is some of my favorite WWE commentary of the decade, and she was never properly utilized after that on any important program. Honestly, she stuck it out longer in WWE than made sense, and I'm sure she's going to crush wherever she winds up.


Apollo Crews vs. MVP

ER: Pre show matches deliver more often than not, and this one added to the "delivered" bucket. MVP working as an opportunist is a fun undercard thing to see, loved him shooting for a kneebar to start the match, then just blindsiding Crews while the ref separated them. His superplex was sloppy, but in a way that kind of added to it and made it feel impactful. MVP also throws his strikes with more immediacy, which is one of Crews' shortcomings. In fact the weakest part of this match was Crews seemingly holding way back on a lot of his offense. He was treating MVP like he was mid 90s Giant Baba, barely touching him with his forearm strikes, and hitting these weird weak avalanches. That was mainly a problem earlier in the match, as once he hit his nice flip dive he felt a little more normal in the ring. The match finishing dead lift blue thunder bomb ruled, and Crews needs to do more cool stuff life that.

Asuka vs. Bayley

ER: I really liked this, but felt like it lost a lot of steam in the final minute or two. They kept up a hot pace, with Asuka coming off nicely chaotic and Bayley scrambling on her heels. Asuka hits the flying hip attack to knock Bayley to the floor, and Bayley manages to take Asuka's flatliner type move off the ring steps and distracted from the fact that Asuka was splatting with a hard back bump. Bayley's scream and sell of that move was so effective in making that spot work. I liked Asuka going after Bayley's arm (even though it really didn't lead to much), and liked a couple of the spots where Bayley went after Asuka's leg. Even though Bayley's actual heel hook looked really awful, the moment where she turned an Asuka missile dropkick into the heel hook was awesome. After that there were a couple hinky moments, like Asuka waiting bent at the waist waaaay too long to take a sunset flip bomb in the corner. The finish was good and a nice call back to the beginning, and I thought the execution was great: Asuka hits the hip attack to knock Sasha off the apron, and Bayley grabs her with a small package off the ropes. Looked great. I don't have a strong opinion either way on whether Asuka should have won or lost, as I'm a fan of both acts, dig what Sasha/Bayley have been doing and have no problem with them dominating the belts.

Andrade/Angel Garza vs. Street Profits

ER: I think this might have been helped by a live audience. That sounds like an obvious statement, but I think these kinds of matches are really hurt by no crowd. The kind of match that plays like a cold tag or a fun Smackdown match depending on the crowd sounds, like a AAAA center fielder. It's mostly the Andrade show, with Garza practically playing this like a handicap match past a certain point. They worked over Ford and I love how they cut him off by catching the top con hilo and powerbombing him on the floor. That spot could have looked overly planned, but it came off smooth and then mean. They set up the Dawkins hot tag well, and I like his big man leaping back elbow. That move was used by a lot of mid 80s WWF guys, one that I associate with that era, and even though I'm sure he's not consciously doing it because of that, I still like seeing it. Andrade's fake out pump kick into the back elbow always looks great, and I love how hard Dawkins bit on dodging that kick and eating that elbow. Somebody's wrist tape even flies out when the elbow lands, and gear getting knocked off someone after a big impact move is never not awesome. The Street Profits as an act don't do a lot for me overall, and Vega's team actually needs to win occasionally but instead they always seem to go down clean as a sheet. Ah well.

Sonya Deville vs. Mandy Rose

ER: I wish this was worked under different circumstances, as it really shouldn't have taken this long to give these two some kind of PPV showcase singles match. The incident that happened to Deville is genuinely terrifying and it was pretty incredible she went out there and made the best of it. Oh god she wasn't forced to go out there and do this was she? Anyway, I wish this match was better, because they went out there and tried to do the right match. The stip got changed and the feud got cut short and it sucks that things turned out this way. They went out and had the No DQ fight they should have had, it just didn't look great. Rose is someone who has killed it in every house show match I've seen her in, and for whatever reason it does not come off on TV. Whatever crowd connection that I've witnessed firsthand several times is mostly gone on TV. She comes off flat and kind of dead eyed, and I think people think I'm lying about her house show work. It's No DQ, they try to throw a lot of strikes, and a lot of the strikes don't look good. Mandy does this weird thing where she just doesn't sell a lot of Sonya's elbows, just kind of holds still while Deville is throwing blows. They wanted to have a tough fight, and their heart was in the right place.

Even though a lot of it didn't look great, the bar has been lowered a lot this year and even just a match that at minimum aims to work within the story instead of having a "great match" is going to win me over. I liked Mandy trying to slide chairs off a table into Sonya's face, feels like a reckless spot where a camera guy can take a shot in the balls or something. Sonya is also someone who hasn't translated as well as it feels like she should. It didn't help when WWE brought in a bunch of actual MMA women right after she got on TV, but she's also dropped a lot of the MMA stuff that she actually did quite well. I'm sure she could have been told "hey don't work like all of these actual MMA women we brought in", but I also like the fact that she's someone who throws sidekicks without kickpads. Mandy threw some hard knees to make up for her weird strike selling, and there were a couple of nasty spills on hard surfaces. Again, it was the match they should have had and that counts for a lot, and I'm glad it happened. And it's honestly hard to care as much about a match like this when it's so closely related to an actual Manhunter fucking Tooth Fairy incident (incel-dent?), but there were small amounts of carny "on with the show" joy here.

Seth Rollins vs. Dominic Mysterio

ER: No matter how this match goes, Dominic took one of the best on screen beatdowns of the past 5 years, and that can't be taken away from him. The cane beating would have gotten over with a mid 90s ECW Arena crowd, and that's more cool carny wrestling bullshit to find sicko joy in. We are truly blessed getting a Pat McAfee match one night and Dominik Mysterio's debut a night later. Wrestling debuts (yeah yeah I know Pat worked a match a decade ago, it's fair to call this a debut) are always exciting for me. I love seeing how much someone "gets" and what nuanced (if any) part of wrestling they understand from match one. Now, even with that beatdown angle, I haven't been able to get into this feud at all. Rollins is so dull to me, and Dominik really isn't a great actor, in ring or out. I was more excited for the McAfee debut, and that was in a match with ADAM COLE! McAfee/Cole felt like a perfect amount of time to deliver the story they needed to. Yes, it should have ended after McAfee's punt to the chest, and we didn't need Adam Cole's home stretch acting chops, but it was laid out fantastically. This match went too long, and the smoke and mirrors weren't anywhere near as satisfying. Rey and his wife did what they could, and I dug their Louis Vuitton gear. And Dominik did really well for a first match! He hit some fairly complicated stuff, missed a real nasty splash into Rollins' knees, and looked like he belonged. If you saw him at your local indy and this was his first match in, you'd be leaving the gymnasium and at least bring him up positively on the ride home. There was a good match in here, even if this wasn't it. I'm more interested in what Dominik does next.

Sasha Banks vs. Asuka

ER: This was the match I was most excited for. Sasha is probably the wrestler who I like the most, without ever thinking to answer "Sasha Banks" when thinking about wrestler I like the most. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I *always* get excited for big Sasha singles matches. I think she has easily been the women's MVP over the past 5 years, and I think she's easily the most consistent and delivers more often in big matches than the rest of the 4 horsewomen, and she has by far the most natural charisma of the 4. This was the match I was most excited for, and it delivered. These two both took some shots, it felt like it peaked perfectly and ended right where it should have, and the way they laid into each other made it feel important. Sasha went after Asuka's leg and it backfired, as Asuka just started throwing kicks, and I love Sasha when she realize a plan isn't working. The match is tough right from go, loved Asuka yanking Sasha off the apron into a kneebar, felt like a cool dickhead babyface thing to do. Asuka hits ringpost on a kick and winds up eating a nasty powerbomb off the apron to the floor, big THUD sound. Both flew gleefully into moves that targeted their heads, Asuka taking that powerbomb and then immediately eating a head kick, Asuka later landing a DDT off the middle rope that Sasha takes on her face. Sasha is great at taking Asuka's offense, they're an awesome super complementary pairing. Sasha takes the missile dropkick better than any other heel, her bumps less athletic but more ragdoll and interesting. I love their dueling arm and leg work, the battle over the Asuka Lock and Banks Statement is a strong finishing stretch. The double callback hip attack finish was handled well, and the tap for the Asuka Lock felt nicely triumphant. Sasha Banks really deserves a lot of praise for the character work and personality she's brought to the empty arena era. And this was her strongest match of the year.

Randy Orton vs. Drew McIntyre

ER: Very low expectations for this one, which may be to the benefit of the match. Orton starts with a lot of smug stalling, which is the closest we get to Jacques Rougeau style buffoonish smug stalling. It's not anywhere near as good, but I like the tradition. This is a slow paced match, but it felt more natural in its pace than the other purposely slow "dramatic" matches from this weekend. This felt hard fought in its slow pace, and that makes this kind of thing work. Orton is someone I have to be in the right mindset for these days, but he can still work within that window of interest. I liked him spamming RKO attempts early after weaseling out of contact, then ramping things up to meaner stuff like two back suplexes on the unbreaking announce table. McIntyre's spinebuster to comeback looked good and the overhead belly to belly landed heavy. I liked it a bit less once we went into the longish feeling second half, where it felt like it was based entirely on attempts at Signature Offense. The stuff where Orton was just stomping on him and dropping him from a high place where stronger. Still, for a modern WWE title match epic, this felt above average. I wish we could have just had Drew pin Orton with the Claymore kick. Randy Orton is fucking 40, guys. Let a dude in his mid 30s win with his finisher. Let a 6'5 265 lb. guy win a match differently than a Terry Taylor finish.

Braun Strowman vs. Bray Wyatt

ER: It's sad when a match between two heavy dudes doesn't inspire me. They keep it short and to the point, and for that I am thankful. But this should be more exciting. The chokeslam into the announce table looked hard and the spear through the barricade was a nice crash. But this felt kind of stale on arrival. This should feel bigger and be cooler, and it shouldn't be that hard. It wasn't terrible by any means. The Braun powerslams where impressive and Wyatt's tool box attack had a stupid 1999 quality to them. Both a pretty uninteresting to me at this point (think of the sadness in that. Braun is 375 and he's not an automatic What Worked for me), so who won or lost didn't interest me. Therefore, the uranage and double Sister Abigail on the exposed ring boards was a cool enough finish to make me come around a bit on it.

BUT of course this match was just a mere slow set up for the real main event, which was Roman Reigns returning after 6 months to kick the shit out of both of them. Reigns looked like an absolute superstar destroying both men, and it's cool as hell seeing him in pure destruction mode. His spears on Wyatt were among the best of his career, and the visual of him wrecking Braun with chairshots was strong. This was the best way to bring Roman back, having him Walking Tall as we fade out. Roman really saved this segment and made it immediately feel more electric. Roman had Braun's best matches and some of Bray's best as well, and it immediately felt like that.

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WrestleMania 36 Night 2 Live Blog

Big shoes to fill on Night 2, and if tonight is anywhere near as entertaining as Night 1 then I will be a happy camper. This does not have Gulak or Bryan on it, and it does have The Fiend, so the odds are stacked against Night 2. Still, I'm excited for the Brock match and weirdly excited for Otis/Dolph (because Otis is my boy).


Natalya vs. Liv Morgan

ER: This was good, but felt like it really needed Liv Morgan to make all of Natalya's stuff work. Natalya got to drive a lot of this with her offense, but I don't think her offense would have come off as well without Liv's selling. Liv's screaming and grunt selling was much better than Seth Rollins' weird pleasure moans, and I thought Liv worked sequences much tighter than some other Natalya opponents. Natalya has been working the exact same sequences for years now, so it's really easy to see what different opponents bring to a "Natalya match". Earlier this year when it was Asuka's turn, she chose to just beat the hell out of Natalya. Liv plays underdog and her roll ups all looked really tight and well placed throughout. She let Natalya work through her few pieces of offense (and I do like when it looks like Natalya really stomps vertebrae when she does her stepover to seated dropkick combo). I thought Liv's quick pins were peppered nicely throughout and I like the way she built to her finish. Nice opener, but after their high end performance in last month's Chamber match it's pretty messed up that Ruby Riott and Sarah Logan aren't on the show, but fucking TAMINA is.


Charlotte Flair vs. Rhea Ripley

ER: This is the brightest color I have ever seen on Ripley, but she pulls it off. And I thought the bulk of this match was great. I don't always love big match Charlotte, and just as I didn't like Kevin Owens' overproduced "How this for a WrestleMania moment?!" I didn't not like some of Charlotte's bad trash talk. But the work itself was super strong, especially every single attack Charlotte threw at Ripley's leg. Every pump kick, every awesome chop block, that nasty leg snap over the top rope, they all landed hard and the way Ripley sold them really made them even better. Ripley's leg buckling totally made this, as several of them looked like she was coming out of this with a torn ACL. I loved it. They held up extremely well on slo mo replays too, so maybe Charlotte was just trying to take out Ripley's knee. Ripley sold really well throughout, though she didn't seem to be laying into Charlotte to the same degree. Still, the stuff like her big dropkick to Charlotte's face worked well, and her short arm clotheslines looked and sounded great with the arena acoustics. And just like I thought Ripley's selling was good, Charlotte's selling off strikes was great. Early on Ripley kicked her while in a tree of woe and Charlotte was convincing enough to make me think she took an errant shot to the throat; later she got dropped in a pancake and Charlotte sold it like she chipped her veneers. The only thing that really hurt this for me was that Charlotte always wins, and from a storyline perspective it probably would have been better if Ripley had looked a little more dominant. Charlotte trashing her throughout for being a lesser champ and then just beating her fair and square doesn't leave a whole lot left to explore. Still, the work here was strong (even if it probably went a little long) and I probably nitpicked a bit much considering how much I loved all he stuff with Rhea's leg.


Aleister Black vs. Bobby Lashley

ER: Has Lana even been on TV since that abortion of an angle that everyone knew would be awful from miles away? Is there a reason these two are fighting or is this just one of those "getting people on the show" matches. Is Lashley a secret member of The Skulk and is trying to pay Black back for the Black Mass he laid on Leon Ruff a couple weeks ago? I could not get into this one, no matter how cool I thought Lashley looked in black and gold tights. This is a 2nd hour Raw match that showed up on WrestleMania for some reason. Lashley looked good, Black looked good, but it's weird something like this is on the show getting more time than something brilliant like Gulak/Cesaro.


Dolph Ziggler vs. Otis

ER: I've actually been into the Otis/Mandy stuff so this was one of the Night 2 matches I've been looking for. But I'm not sure how good of a friend Sonya is if she was trying to trick her friend into a relationship with Dolph Ziggler of all people. Sonya is the friend who would convince her Ted Bundy's car is a way quicker way home than the subway. One real annoying thing about Ziggler is that he wrestles every match the same, no matter the circumstances. He went for the same kind of layout here as he has in any other match this month, a guy who will go out and work the same match regardless of stakes. I liked all of the work from both, but outside of the actual involvement of Mandy and Sonya this didn't feel like they had been through any kind of personal drama. Dolph flew around nicely once Otis made his comeback, smashing his face into the middle buckle off a catapult, running hard into the buckles on Irish whips, and I loved Otis throwing him to the floor with a fallaway slam and smashing him with a great lariat. The finish was the easiest way to wrap this, and I had been wondering why Mandy wasn't out there from the beginning anyway. It was all pretty basic but the match itself just didn't feel like anything that was built to, and it should have. And if Otis has any doubts whether Mandy likes him or not, the fact she kissed him on the mouth during a pandemic should be a real confidence booster.


Edge vs. Randy Orton

ER: I had forgotten this was Last Man Standing and that makes me even less interested. It feels like the counts have gotten slower and slower on those, and it always takes me WAY out of a match when every time someone takes a back bump we get 15 seconds of paused action. Also, lol at Edge working a match with like three people at ringside, and not doing a quick check to make sure the guy who frequently hides to sneak attack people is not one of them. And just like the Boneyard Match was so insanely good and infinitely better than an actual in-ring Taker/Styles match would have been, THIS match would have benefitted from ANY other format. A 10 minute in ring match between them, with each doing the same spots they did in any of their matches 15 years ago, would have been so much better. Because folks, this was bad. And I thought it actually had some promise early on, because Randy was throwing hard right hands and Edge had a bunch of actually painful looking clubbing offense. But this whole thing weirdly played out like they were doing it all live, because you assume had it been taped in advance that this would have been edited down to at LEAST half the runtime. And the crazy thing is that you know this actually WAS edited. A group of people watched THIS and thought they had kept it tight enough. Which means that the original match was probably somehow EVEN LONGER. This came off like a joke brawl that they forgot to write jokes into, and the longer it went on the longer it felt like they were just playing a prank on anybody who actually works in the Performance Center. How many disinfectant wipes are going to be needed to clean off all the surfaces these sweaty germ machines are carrying? Also, the announcers have been yelling over everything on both nights and suddenly they decide this match to speak in hushed whispers, probably because drama and acting like this shouldn't be distracted from.

I actually like a LOT of the landings in this match, and thought Edge was throwing some of his best actual strikes. He was always a lousy striker, and here it looked like he was really battering Orton's chest and ribs. The problem is the stipulation lead to an abundance of moments that relied on the acting of both men, and Edge is one of the worst actors in wrestling history. The drama required to make a 30+ minute match work was not going to be found in Orlando this evening. And I typed all of this before the referee tried to reason with Orton. THAT right there might be the dumbest thing I've seen in wrestling. "Randy come on, he has a family!" Hey dummy, if either of them actually cared about their families they wouldn't have subjected them to any part of this match. This was abysmal, they didn't have nearly enough decent ideas to justify a match even half as long as this, and as predicted the Last Man Standing stip made a long match into Shoah. Every single person involved in the making and execution of this match made exclusively wrong choices.


Angel Garza/Austin Theory vs. Street Profits

ER: Another match that felt like a 2nd hour Raw match, nothing at stake, nothing that made this felt like it was a "big show" match. Garza hits a nice moonsault to the floor, Ford does a nice tope on hilo that was caught almost entirely by Dawkins, and I guess I'm wondering what Austin Theory was supposed to bring to this? If this past week has taught me one thing, it's that Austin Theory not only cannot catch a dive, but there's a chance he might not actually know what a dive is. I guess he can jump high? This would have been more interesting as a 6 man with Vega and Bianca added to the match itself.


Sasha Banks vs. Lacey Evans vs. Tamina vs. Naomi vs. Bayley

ER: Again, I must point out that Ruby Riott and Sarah Logan both actually looked great at Elimination Chamber and somehow they're not on the show but TAMINA is in the title picture. Matches with odd number participants always have an uphill battle, they easily could have just had Riott and Logan in this one and Tamina could have watched at home. Tamina is always put into these situations where she gets all her offense in one clump right up front, before everybody teams up to get rid of her, and they always do that because Tamina has somehow been on the roster for a DECADE and still gets crossed up doing one minute of offense. So this marks yet another time where they bring back Tamina, immediately insert her into a big match, but seemingly realize that she is still actually bad and get her out of there right away. It's easy a "what does she have on Vince?" joke, but it has to be something. It can't just be weird family murder cover-up loyalty, because we never got a decade of Deuce getting put into title matches. And Tamina was just one part of what made this not work. Nearly everyone in it was made to look like a chump: Naomi's great comeback reactions from earlier this year seem like a distant memory, Bayley retaining after she's already shown to be a completely uninteresting champ, Sasha loses at Mania again, etc. The only interesting thing was the interaction between Sasha and Bayley, I actually loved their moments of working together. Sasha coming back at the end to help Bayley in spite of getting eliminated by a nice Evans' Woman's Right. Also I watched this match after watching a feature length Edge movie, so now I'm just grumpy.


Firefly FunHouse

ER: This show has been terrible, I mean the attitude I had when watching Charlotte shoulder tackle feels like hours ago. This show desperately needed HUGE performances from this match and Brock/McIntyre, and seeing Bray Wyatt come up when your team is one out from elimination is the last thing you wanted to see. But then this match goes out and has their Travis Ishikawa in the 9th moment, and has the first actual creative and fun segment of The Fiend gimmick's lifespan. Cena being Luke Skywalker battling his demons on Dagobah was highly entertaining, and wonderfully different from the Boneyard Match. John Cena reliving his greatest failures and greatest successes was tremendous, and the editing of all the old footage integrated it was fantastic. John Cena whiffing on Ruthless Aggression punches, getting cricket sound effect reactions opposite his best rhymes, and him acting like a malfunctioning Ultimate Warrior robot on Saturday Night's Main Event were just some of the great moments, WWE improbably coming up with two outrageously entertaining cinematic matches on back to back nights. Seriously, John Cena doing lightning fast curls had me in stitches, and if they had smoke come out of his ears I probably would have howled. Just like the Boneyard Match, just think how lame this would have been as a straight match. Instead, this was awesome, and hey, it was a third the length of one of the worst segments in Mania history. I can't believe they did it, but they did it.


Drew McIntyre vs. Brock Lesnar

ER: This was a good moment for Drew, and it's cool that they're going through with it for him. He's been a good soldier and them getting behind him would be cool. And I love Brock, but I think he really needs a crowd to mock and feed off of. Brock crowds always react, even on the coldest shows. Brock gets noise, and Brock reacts great to noise. He's great at reading a room, and he's incredibly fun to watch which he reads a room, and this had no room. Brock has crafted several excellent and unique matches built around finisher spamming, but two guys trading finishers in an empty room just kind of feels like move practice after awhile. You need that reaction of shock, you need that excitement. When the whole story of the match is "It is shocking that this guy kicked out of this" over and over, you need to hear shock. I don't think this kind of match was going to work here, in this situation. I think this match probably would have worked really well with a stadium of people living and dying with it, and I wish I could have seen that version. This was just a longer Goldberg/Braun, and Brock can have a much better match than that.


Well this show was nowhere close to Night 1, and without THE FIEND match - of all things - it would have been one of the weakest cards of the past couples years. But the stupid Firefly FunHouse put a big smile on my face, and left me on the other side feeling positive about all of it. We endured whatever that Edge/Randy Orton match was, we slayed that dragon together. We experienced that shit together, and it was maybe the most united I've ever seen wrestling fans. And in 10 years, if one person tries to nostalgia gif us with "You know what match never got respect but was actually great" posts, that person will get collectively shouted down and humiliated by every person who lived through that in real time.

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WWE No Mercy 2017 "Live" Blog

1. Elias vs. Apollo Crews

ER: I really like the early headlock work in this, like Elias walking up the buckles and floating over in a headlock, Crews holding a tight headlock on the mat. Crews pops up with a handspring and hits a huge dropkick and grounds again with the headlock. Cole relays a story about Elias walking 45 miles just to see Neil Young in Austin, which if true is a better Neil Young story than me telling him I loved "On the Beach" while standing in line next to him at Great American Music Hall's bathroom. Elias sweeps the leg and Crews takes a big bump on the apron. I also liked Elias's mule kick, thought Crews went to comeback too quick but I liked his comeback. Elias has no problem leaning into a yakuza kick, Crews has maybe the nicest kip up in wrestling, and this was another in a long line of perfectly fine pre-show matches. I need to start watching Main Event to see what gems might be on there.

2. The Miz vs. Jason Jordan

ER: I really loved Jordan's recent TV matches with Cena and Reigns, hoping he can continue being a nice 10 minute match superstar. And this starts off good, especially liked Jordan getting dropkicked off the apron and then slammed into the barricade. Rachel is always excellent at spotting Mamrie Hart/Grace Helbig at ringside and also points out Hannah Hart. Women are funny, get over it. Miz has a nice cravate and Jordan bounces on his dome off a DDT. Jordan throws a real nice top rope clothesline, which is not an easy clothesline to do. Most people have a terrible top rope clothesline. Miz gets launched by a belly to belly, the rolling northern lights are still cool, and on the floor he tosses Dallas into the rest of the Miztourage with a belly to belly. Crowd is super hot for Miz and clearly want him to retain, and sure enough when Axel interferes on his behalf the crowd literally leaps to their feet knowing he was winning. These Hollywood Elites just looooooove the A-Lister. Jordan complains ineffectively after the match. He's clearly going heel, soon.

3. Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor

ER: Bray jumps Finn and we get minutes of anguished faced Finn selling his tummy down the ramp whle referees who all look bigger than him offer their support. It's cruel that they're making me watch this match, but also delaying the start of the match. Rip that bandaid off, jerks! But, Finn has a decent baseball slide dropkick, Bray does a tough superplex and Bray headbutting him off the ropes looked cool. Bray weenies out of the follow through on the apron DDT, but Finn gets credit for still winging himself head and shoulder first into the apron. Balor traps Wyatt in the apron and kicks him, and really there aren't many guys less cool than Balor to be allowed to do the Finlay apron skirt spot. But really this whole thing didn't do much for me. Their whole "feud" has been completely missable and pointless.

4. Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus/Cesaro

ER: This feud also hasn't been doing it for me, but I like Cesaro going after Ambrose, swinging him into the ring steps and booting him in the face. But I lose interest when Rollins tags in, throwing top rope clothesline over Cesaro's head and hitting a light plancha. Cesaro has a bloody nose or mouth (maybe from hitting the ring post?), and he's really been a nut this match. He even takes a huge backdrop to the floor and yeah he's making this match. Cesaro is also awesome while trying to tap Ambrose, working to keep him away from the ropes, rolling into a crossface. Jeez it looks like Cesaro got his front teeth knocked out. Cesaro powerbombs Rollins off the middle rope ONTO Ambrose which looked killer and really could/should be a finisher. I dug the spot where Sheamus set up the brogue kick but Ambrose fell over before he could hit it. But I didn't really buy the finish of Sheamus being put down by a knee and an okay DDT. Cole/Booker/Graves seem to think this was the tag match of the decade, it felt more like an inspired Cesaro performance and a typical solid Sheamus performance. I still thought Ambrose and Rollins had weak offense and in Ambrose's case it's always set up the exact same way. I thought Cesaro/Sheamus really admirably carried this.

5. Bayley vs. Emma vs. Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss

ER: The rule of matches with odd numbered participants still applies here for sure, but I like the people involved so we'll see if they can have a good match. I love Bliss/Nia interactions, Bliss always cops the best faces during them. Nia being the awesome boss with huge running avalanches corner to corner. The double samoan drop spot is never really believably set up, but the results are satisfying. I love Nia blocking Alexa's DDT and not going down for Bayley's guillotine. Nia takes a bonkers powerbomb bump off the apron and she is officially the boss. How can people still hate Nia? Finishing stretch starts getting hot when Bliss goes for the double knee moonsault and Bayley catches her with a suplex, and we get some good saves. I wish we had gotten a bigger Nia comeback as I was hoping she'd factor into the finish, but I like Bayley being the one making a ton of the saves and then ultimately being the one not saved.

6. John Cena vs. Roman Reigns

ER: The fans are really cool and I believe they start off with a "You Both Suck" chant. It sets up a nice start to the match as Cena plays along and threatens to leave, which allows Roman to jump him on the rampway. Cena is always great at taking bumps around and into the ring steps, so we get some of those to start which allows Roman to start with the advantage. But by the time they go to strike exchanging I realize that I have really gotten into this. It's been fine, but it's been under expectations. It felt like we got to the big kickouts a little early, although the AA off the middle rope looked pretty spectacular. JEEZ Roman reverses the AA on the announce table and spears Cena, but Roman looks like he took the WORST DDT possible. I mean he folded in a totally gross way on that landing. I admit some of the AA finisher spamming has sucked me in, mainly because of how the crowd is reacting to it. I love Cena rolling through the 3rd AA to deliver the 4th, and the crowd reactions are really good. Camera finds a great shot of a kid cheering Cena's inevitable win and then being stunned when Roman kicks out. I thought this was fine, but delivered under my expectations. The finisher spamming was really only satisfying because of the hot crowd.

7. Enzo Amore vs. Neville

ER: I still don't understand why Enzo is on TV as much as he is, but here we go. I have really liked wrestlers with no offense before (like Stevie Richards, or Virgil) but Enzo does very little for me. I enjoyed him a few times as a FIP during tags, but he doesn't bring enough to singles matches for me. I mean, the Beetlejuice suit is cool and all, and he doesn't shy out of taking a beating, but I can't buy him as a threat to anybody. Still, he brings the bumps, leaning into a shotgun kick, flying into the timekeeper's area and upside down into the barricade. His DDT of the top rope was great as Neville returned the bump favor and planted himself. The finish took a long time to set up, but was pulled off effectively. The punt to the balls looked like something that would keep a man down, I just have zero interest in seeing Enzo in more singles matches.

8. Braun Strowman vs. Brock Lesnar

ER: Braun is an incredibly credible challenger to Brock, and him tossing around Brock is great. That powerslam always seems to completely rattle the ring. Lesnar uses that kimura on Braun so effectively, really feels like a great way to attack him. Braun gets suplexed a bunch and I think both men are great at selling both power and fading stamina. Lesnar is good at selling fatigue from the suplexes, Braun is good at selling the suplexes. Graves is good at keeping attention on Braun's arm during Braun's powerslam, and (this sounds like a cop out) but the crowd genuinely seems to be in awe. And then an F5 finishes it WAY earlier than I expected. I was still getting into the match, excited for where it was going...and then it stopped, just like that, and it felt really flat. I assumed there would be shenanigans of some kind, and instead Braun just kind of lost.

ER: The show moved quick, and it managed to be a breezy viewing without me really loving the show. I was banking pretty heavily on the two big matches delivering, and they did not. So the show seems far more disappointing to me than it might have actually been. I had just watched the Braun/Brock/Joe/Reigns match again a couple days ago and was too stoked for that main. And it felt like we got just half a match. It's crazy to me that they've ended SO MANY PPVs this past year on crap non-finishes to main events...but this one ends clean as a sheet. And RIP Cesaro's beautiful smile.

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WWE Great Balls of Fire Live Blog

1. Neville vs. Akira Tozawa

ER: This ended up getting way more time than I was expecting, and ended up being much better than I expected. Tozawa wins me over early with a nice timber sell off a Neville kick from the apron, and later bumps a low kick on his neck. Things ramp up big once Tozawa hits a big tope, then hits another. Corey Graves puts over how Tozawa is using his big head to his advantage. I never thought about Tozawa's head size before. It seems like a pretty normal head. Spot of the match was Neville catching Tozawa on his shoulders, but Tozawa slowly turning a bad situation into a great octopus hold. Awesome pro wrestling spot.  We get a couple nice nearfalls and at a certain point I actually thought Tozawa was going to get the belt. Neville smartly rolls out of the ring after the senton, and I loved Tozawa's face as he scrambled to catch Neville before he rolled away. Titus continues offering nothing to the people he manages, but I'll give him full credit on his great 1994 Golden State Warriors suit/tie/pocket square combo. Another nice pre-show match to start the PPV. These things almost always deliver.

2. Bray Wyatt vs. Seth Rollins

ER: Seth Rollins entrance gear must be modeled after one of the pre-cogs in Minority Report. This is probably the match I'm least excited for, so it's nice of them to get it out of the way first. But a couple minutes in and it's pretty good. I liked the bump Bray took off the apron into the ring steps, and Bray hits the mother of all shoulderblocks to send Rollins into the barricade. Rollins is always vaguely shitty about setting up moves. He always does things to get ready for a spot that are always a little annoying if you notice them, like getting put up on the top buckle and then getting his legs ready for being superplexed without Wyatt touching him. I hate little things like that. Or how Rollins is first to his feet moments after taking a DDT on the apron. Rollins hits his feather soft tope and they're losing me. But Bray's jawbreaker off the top is really great, and catching Rollins with a sly eyepoke over the ref was a great spot, and that Sister Abigail landed hard and fast. Overall an uninteresting but inconsequential match, with a nice finish.

3. Enzo Amore vs. Big Cass

ER: Not a big fan of their tag team, but not really sure what the benefit of them already splitting up. Enzo at maximum was a nice guy to sell for a hot tag. I think both were better together than working singles matches. Cass's big man offense doesn't do a whole lot for me, but I liked his running avalanche and the press slam to the floor looked great. Pretty surprised they didn't even give Enzo any kind of comeback. I don't think he even got a bit of offense. Not that Enzo has good offense, but something? Instead we got 7 minutes of Cass doing some slow Test tribute offense.

4. 30 Minute Iron Man: Hardy Boys vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

ER: A 30 Minute Iron Man seems a bit much. I'm sure by the end of this we'll all agree that 20 would have been fine. But it shouldn't be bad. I do like the heels getting a quick pin and then working a slow pace. It's a smart strategy, and I hope it actually goes somewhere worthwhile. And I loved Sheamus' cover when they went up 2-0, hooking the leg with one arm and counting the 3 with his free hand, big grin the whole time. Sheamus is one of the better guys in the fed at hitting the corner post, his post bumps always look fast and painful. Hot tags are kind of weird when you know how much time is left in a match. Matt's punches still look great in HD, and he takes a nice post bump as well. Iron Man matches always tend to get a really quiet crowd for most of the match, as the crowd doesn't think anything really matters until at least the final third. And sure enough they wake up a bit with 9 minutes left on the clock. Things have been pretty mechanical up until that point, so I can't blame them too much. Great spot with Cesaro going for an uppercut, getting caught by Matt in a backslide, with Jeff tagging in and dropping double legs to get a quick pin. Cesaro save seemed a hair late after the Matt moonsault (has Matt always kept his hands in front of him on moonsaults? Most guys through them back above their head) and as I'm typing that the fans start chanting how the ref sucks. Does WWE still want their refs calling matches "as if they were shoots"? I remember hearing that years ago and it leading to a couple accidental finishes. Fans coming alive at the 2 minute warning, and Jeff flings himself nicely off the top into C&S. Hardys do a clunky dual top rope splash/elbow, and Matt somehow gets busted open from it. I could not tell at all how it happened. He dropped a Bret elbow from the tope (which seems like a good way to jam your wrist or injure your elbow) and came up touching his face, then a second later his face was covered in blood. Did he accidentally headbutt Sheamus? Either way, I kind of liked and kind of hated the Cesaro flash pin on Hardy. In theory it makes sense to surprise Jeff with a pin right after he does the swanton, but Jeff was kicking so much that it looked like his shoulders kept coming up off the mat. Though Cesaro running away afterwards was pretty great. Still, I think this was overall a let down. I seem to be in the minority on that opinion but I'm not sure what I missed that everyone else saw. I thought the Hardys looked kind of sluggish throughout and thought the pacing was off. I liked the match, but was surprised after I looked around and saw a lot of people calling it a classic. It never felt classic to me.

5. Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss

ER: HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT ALEXA'S WEIRD DOUBLE JOINTED ELBOW!? She got whipped nastily into the mat on an arm wringer, and that wonky elbow is such a great trick. After she elbow smashes Sasha she checks her lip for blood while grinning, like some action movie villain. Then these two start targeting each others' kidneys in gross ways: Sasha hits the backcracker into the Banks Statement, Alexa scrambles out to the floor and legsweeps Sasha who falls kidneys first on the apron, then back in Alexa nails her double kneedrop and moonsault kneedrop to the same spot, then whiplashes Sasha backwards into her knee. These two are having a killer little match. I like Sasha waiting until 5 to break the Banks Statement and the cameras really zoom in and that tight grip across Alexa's mouth and nose. Count out finish took the wind out of the sails admittedly. I love Alexa as champ, so I don't hate the end result, but it's a little uninspired. Post match was good though with Sasha hitting her crazy double knees off the ring ramp announce table to the floor, and Alexa catches it great. Both are nuts. We knew this was going to continue, so a finish like this was expected.

6. The Miz vs. Dean Ambrose

ER: I am not very excited for this match, but I'm interested in how Axel and Dallas are dressed. What a strangely dressed stable. Miz and Maryse dress like they're in a Vegas show, Axel dresses like he's an extra in The Untouchables, and Dallas looks like Pigpen from the Grateful Dead. I like Dean's low crossbody, and Miz is fine working over the knee. I'm so conditioned to seeing guys go after the face when hanging an opponent in the tree of woe, that I actively cheered Miz dropkicking Dean in the knee a couple times. Maryse throwing up her arms during the Yes! kicks is great. Dean comes up with a bloody mouth at some point and I again completely missed when it happened. Dean doesn't really care too much about his hurt knee, at least not letting it slow him down when he twice hops over top rope and leaps off it (always selling it once he lands). Interference x3 plays into the finish, and this was what it was, probably a bit better than I expected. Which was not much.

7. Ambulance Match: Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns

ER: Ambulance match is probably better than Stretcher match as far as stips go, but it doesn't usually equate "good match". These two have had plenty of good matches against each other, and all are likely to be better than this. BUT, the stip does at least make sense. All of Braun's early power stuff looks good, but I really get into this once Roman hits the drive-by on Braun's arm, slams the arm into the ringpost a bunch, then bashes it with a chair. Yeah!! Bust up that arm. That's his "throw guys into ambulances arm!!" Strowman starts no selling chairshots like Zeus and all the stuff with them fighting around the stage and ambulance is good. Braun bashes Reigns with a freaking board, Roman gets tossed around on the stage, Braun plows through the LED display and we get all these great LED glitches while Braun lay in the wreckage. Finish makes sense as Roman stupidly runs at Braun and whiffs on the spear, then acts like a sore loser by locking Braun in the ambulance and crashing it. We don't see what happens after as we desperately need to get back to the ring for the important match between......

8. Curt Hawkins vs. Heath Slater

ER: Oh. This match. Wasn't Goldust/Truth supposed to be on this show? This match would feel out of place if it was the main event on Main Event. It must have been a weird conversation with Hawkins when they told him "look, you'll get a PPV payday, and you'll go out there and hold a chinlock for 2 minutes and lose off camera." Oh. Kurt Angle rocking jeans and a blazer like a guy who has done very well for himself and is now just trying to enjoy this wine mixer. We are getting some REAL TIME jaws of life! I was expecting Braun to be gone like Michael Myers, but instead we get valiant babyface Braun refusing the stretcher and walking away with dignity, smearing blood on somebody's slick tour bus. Michael Cole's serious voice, it should be noted, is fucking terrible.

9. Samoa Joe vs. Brock Lesnar

ER: The build for this has been tremendous. Lesnar is an all time great at those sit down promos, and him getting choked purple was an all time wrestling moment, flat out. And this starts great with Joe jumping Brock during Heyman's intro and smashing him through an announce table. Brock always flies through tables with gusto. Guy is a total bump freak, still, somehow. "Brock with vulnerabilities" is one of my favorite wrestling personalities ever. And hot damn this is great, Joe rushes with a back elbow and kick, both men exchange sick knees, Joe throws tons of great mixed jabs in the corner (working the ribs and face), Brock starts throwing mean knees and Joe goes right for the clutch. First german about 90 seconds in, and Joe takes another right on his shoulder. I love when Lesnar uses the suplexes to create space, not to make up the meat of a match. Joe is fighting to win and mulekicks Lesnar's Great Balls while blocking the ref's view, and the fight over the clutch is majestic. Brock's face swells up and changes colors spectacularly in chokes, like Takayama's face after taking a few punches. His face is an incredible pro wrestling tool. Lesnar throws more germans and I urge Joe to stop rolling over, back-to-Lesnar, after each one. Joe grabs the clutch on an F5 attempt, and I love Lesnar trying to shake him off by backing into the corner, but that let's Joe get the hooks on the choke. Lesnar is a freak, and with his air vanishing he manages to pop up, nail the F5, and then lay on the mat catching his breath like a man who almost drowned. I wanted more, but damn was this a great 8 minute fight. They need to run this back.

A very good PPV with a great, unique 8 minute main, really good women and cruiser matches, and nothing outright bad. I live blogged two shows this weekend, and this was the one that didn't feel like anything close to a waste of time. It didn't quite live up to my (admittedly lofty) expectations, and I was excited for a Goldust PPV match (maybe I wrongly assumed it would be on this show?), and I seem to be the odd low vote on the Hardys tag...but this was well worth the time spent.

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WWE Extreme Rules 2017 Live Blog

1. Kalisto vs. Apollo Crews

ER: These pre-show matches almost always deliver, which makes sense as they're a combination of low expectations with guys seemingly trying to get noticed. Kalisto hits an Aerostar-esque 450 from the middle rope to the floor, hopping from inside the ring to the rope on the outside, and crashing senton style into the standing Crews. Awesome. And then he follows it up with another springboard and crashes spectacularly when Crews enziguiris him on the way down. Back in there are a couple of slightly mistimed spots, but all is saved when Crews takes a gorgeous tornado DDT and later hits a huge pop up Samoan drop and a flawless standing shooting star. Kalisto kicking Titus off the apron while hitting the Salida del Sol in one motion was a nice touch to the finish.

2. The Miz vs. Dean Ambrose

ER: First minute or so is total dullsville, and then suddenly something wakes up in Dean and he starts throwing stinging chops on Miz and a huge lariat that sends Miz super fast to the floor. Okay, we're doing this. Miz is great trying to goad Dean into using a chair, and Miz hitting an apron DDT looked real good. Both men tighten things up with Dean actually trying on a couple kicks to the stomach (something he hasn't put effort into in over a year), Miz hits a great dropkick in the corner, Dean levels Miz with his flying elbow to the floor (great timed bump by Miz) and this is definitely better than I was expecting. The fight over the figure 4 is pretty lackluster and I hate that the rebound lariat hits 90% of the time. Finish was logical but couldn't be seen as satisfying to anyone, as ending a match by arguing with the referee for 30 seconds before being hit with a finisher is just unsatisfying. Still, match exceeded expectations.

3. Alicia Fox/Noam Dar vs. Sasha Banks/Rich Swann

ER: Really liked the early Fox/Sasha tangling, Alicia going for a tilt a whirl only for Sasha to reverse to the Banks Statement looked really great. Goddamn do I hate Michael Cole constantly given the directive that black babyfaces "love to have fun!" It's a dumb as hell line that they keep going to, and it never sounds convincing and always sounds insulting. Thankfully the fun hating women get in to break up a pin and yank arms in nasty ways. Sasha hits her pretty spectacular double knees off the top into Dar on the floor and Swann plants the phoenix. This whole thing felt like an inconsequential pre-show match, but was perfectly fine for what it was. Dug Team Swasha's post-match dancing.

ER: I have no clue who Elias Samson is, but shitty guy with an acoustic singing original songs is some pretty immediate heel heat from me. It feels like more of a college heel gimmick but it works as a guy who plays open mics and works 12 hours a week at a coffee shop. Michael Cole almost makes me spit out my coffee after the song, with the hilariously mis-delivered line "That sounds like something that should be on The Ghost of Tom Joad!" Nothing like dropping a reference to Springsteen's worst album, which is also over 20 years old. That's his go-to stark singer songwriter album reference!? Compare Samson to fucking Nebraska or something if you're going old. Shit, do I now have to go back and see if GoTJ has gotten better with age? Whatever, Cole's line could not have sounded less cool. Nobody reacted to it. It was amazing. "That sounds like a cut off of No Jacket Required!!" he says in his voice that sounds like he's recording a video game soundbite. 10 stars.

4. Kendo Stick on a Pole: Bayley vs. Alexa Bliss

ER: Well this couldn't have been more disappointing. Did Miz/Ambrose go way too long and this just had most of the middle cut out? The hype video was longer than the match! I don't tend to use terms like "bury" but damn did this feel like a "Spirit Squad get sent back to OVW" moment for Bayley.

5. Cage Match: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Hardy Boys

ER: Both teams go for escapes right away which is like the least interesting way to work a team cage match, but Cesaro does look awesome running across the ring, leaping up the ropes and springing to the top of the cage. Jeff hits on of the best lariats of his career on Sheamus. Cesaro does the Scott Hall "Bad Guy" pose. Sheamus is the only one saving this with several painful looking bumps into the cage. he really has no problem flying over the ropes into that cage in violent ways. The escape attempts don't do much for me and I'd much rather see violent asskickings and guys getting thrown into the cage, but they win me over once Jeff is dangling from the side of the cage while Cesaro is holding on to only his arm. That looked great. The psychology of team escape cage matches just never makes sense to me, as it seems like the heel team should just let one of the faces escape, and then just kick the shit out of the remaining face for 10 minutes and walk out the door. If they had let Jeff escape 10 seconds in, this could have just been both of them teeing off on Matt with Jeff unable to save. It all just makes no sense. Jeff coming back in to do a dive off the top makes confuses me even more. So is he back in the match? Is he unescaped? Cole says so, and I actually like that. THAT makes me more interested in this. And that rule totally saved the match. Cesaro and Sheamus giving Matt such a beating that Jeff reenters the match, which leads directly to them losing, is a great finish. Matt dragging Jeff for the door while C&S climb over was really well done.

6. Austin Aries vs. Neville

ER: I hate how high Neville cuts on missed clotheslines. Aries is freaking 5'5", he can duck a normal lariat. This gets good once Neville goes after Aries' left arm. Graves is good putting over how Aries is a southpaw and this is going to take his most important weapons away from him. The kicks to the arm look great and the fight to the ring ropes was quality. They lose the magic pretty kick when Aries grabs a guillotine with that same arm that's been beaten to a pulp. Do you know how hard your arm has to work to hold a guillotine? So I did not like that, but then Aries crashes hard on a missed dive and Neville hits a picture perfect red arrow, so I can't complain too much. Still, other than some Kendrick, it doesn't seem like I'm missing too much by skipping 205 Live.

7. Bray Wyatt vs. Samoa Joe vs. Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor vs. Roman Reigns

ER: I wish they had found a 6th man, odd numbered matches are usually the pits. This is okay I guess. There's a lot of movement, so that's something. Bray is doing a nice job of not ignoring the people just lying around selling, always throwing in a kick or stomp whenever he passes one. This is pretty predictably a mess, but the fans have been engaged the whole time which doesn't always happen in formless multimans. They even counted along to Roman's corner clotheslines which made me smile. Roman/Joe do an absolutely terrible phone booth fighting spot. My god those were ugly punches. Does Rollins aim a couple feet past his opponent on every dive on purpose? All of his dives end up looking like really painless slingblade clotheslines. It has to be intentional. At least Bray throwing Joe into a tope looked nice (even if the tope was ugly). This is apparently "Extreme Rules" but it takes 18 minutes for a chair to get involved. How is that possible? The big moment in a lot of these matches is the go go go spot where one guy hits a finisher, then gets leveled by someone else's finisher, and so on. But since this match was tornado style they had already basically been doing that the whole time, so when they went into that mode it felt pretty anticlimactic. Having Joe against Lesnar is at least a new match, so I'm interested, despite not being very interested in current Samoa Joe.

ER: Overall the PPV over-delivered, though Rachel was most excited for the Bliss/Bayley match and that...was really weird. That's like the match that happens before we find out Bayley got a wellness suspension.

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Reigns vs. Braun: A Match History, Part II

5. Braun Strowman/Bray Wyatt/Erick Rowan vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins (Raw 10/19/15)

ER: If I had to choose one word to describe this match, I would choose "sluggish". It was 10 minutes, but really draggggged. This continues the trend of Braun hardly getting involved in matches, as he did nothing in the match for the first 8 minutes, and by the end did no actual moves. He pulled Roman down off the apron, threw Ambrose to the floor, then got Roman into a choke. I really liked how he looked before this, so I'm unsure why they suddenly had him stop working. This was mostly Ambrose working Bray, playing FIP, leading to Rollins leaving with a fake knee injury. Dean was on fire the first minute of this, but just a few minutes in was already airmailing punches a foot past Rowan's head. When Bray locking on a grounded side headlock is the most interesting part of the match, you just move on with your life, admitting to yourself and your family that you chose the dumbest fucking hobby.

6. Braun Strowman/Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose (WWE House Show 10/31/15)

ER: Really fun No DQ house show match. There's tons of loud kids in attendance which makes house shows the best (really the only life situation that loud excitable kids add to my enjoyment of something), just tons of kids screaming for Reigns and yelling at Wyatt. At one point Ambrose gets put through a table and then gets caught with sister Abigail off the rebound lariat. Reigns leaps in from the floor to save him at the last second, and one kid - not trying to start any kind of chant - just screams out "THIS IS AWESOME!!!" And it was pretty awesome. Braun worked slow methodical monster in this one, with some nice moments like standing on Ambrose's knee and ankle while soaking in the boos, then stomping on it. Bray introduced chairs and a kendo stick, all of which got used by everyone. Roman had a bunch of fun superman punches including a great one saving Dean from another sister Abigail. The whole match built to Braun getting speared through a table, which feels like a big spot on a house show. But this whole thing was fun, definitely sent people home happy.

7. 16 Man Elimination Tag: Braun/Wyatt/Harper/Rowan vs. Reigns/Ambrose/Usos vs. Rhyno/Dudleys/Dreamer vs. Sheamus/Rusev/Barrett/Del Rio (Raw 12/7/15)

ER: What kind of a weird mess of a match is this!? Tommy Dreamer was in WWE a year ago? They were actually collectively called Team ECW?! This is such a weird match. It was the opening segment on Raw, and starting Raw with a match is weird enough, but starting it with some sort of 1997 Gang Warz elimination match is even weirder. And then The Wyatts are the first team eliminated when Dreamer pins Rowan with a DDT. But this thing is a total cluster, a kind of fun cluster, but a total cluster. A member for each team is in the ring at all times, so there's bodies just constantly getting in the way of each other. Del Rio is oddly spirited in this, stiffing up Team ECW with these cool low yakuza kicks (like a yakuza kick, but thrown to a seated opponent) and taking a couple big bumps. Rusev sells way too much for everybody, the Dudleys do a bunch of old bad spots (I like when Bubba is unprofessionally stiffing people, not so much his "working a minor league baseball stadium" style), Usos work stiff as well with some nasty uppercuts, Reigns has a fun/silly segment where he does a superman punch to three different guys on the apron. Not all at once, but Wade Barrett would get on the apron, and get punched, then ADR would climb up on a different side of the ring, and get punched, and so on and so on. This match had over half a Royal Rumble worth of dudes, and it happened, because.

8. Braun/Wyatt/Harper/Rowan/Sheamus/Rusev/Barrett/Del Rio vs. Reigns/Ambrose/Ryback/Usos/Dudleys/Kane (Tribute to the Troops 12/8/15)

ER: A much, much, much better version of the 16 man match from the day before. We drop the elimination stip, make it 8 on 8, Kane and Ryback replace Dreamer and Rhyno, and everybody works pointlessly stiff for the least watched WWE TV special of the year. This isn't really a Roman/Braun show, as they only have one moment together (Roman superman punching him while he gets Kane in his standing side triangle) but it's a hot 10 minutes. Harper was a standout here, throwing beastly palm strikes and ambushing Ambrose with a great superkick, Kane throws his nice uppercuts and gets out of the way, Ryback is dressed like the most gassed Bushwhacker, I don't remember any moment where any League of Nation member is in the ring, and out of everybody that could have taken the pin, Luke Harper takes it. Also, the Dudleys are still around, and take up time in 2015 doing the Wazzup drop, and it occurs to me that at this point there are thousands of fans who have never see any of the Wazzup commercials, and only know this as a thing that the Dudleys do. The reference is so old, it has now become their own. It would be like a team in 2000 doing a Where's the Beef double team flapjack, with a crowd of children screaming Whhhheeerrrrreee's (as the guy went up for the flapjack) THE BEEF (when he hit the mat). It would be like someone considering retiring their Austin Powers catchphrase-based offense in 2012, but then taking it out for another spin. Though I do look forward to someone doing a Borat "My wiiiiiife" bronco buster in 2022.

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Reigns vs. Braun: A Match History, Part 1

I've really been loving all of the Roman Reigns/Braun Strowman feud, and am really excited for their upcoming match at Payback. I thought it might be a fun idea to go back and look at all the times these two crossed paths, leading up to the Payback match (which is sadly happening in the bay area, on a weekend I'll be visiting my sister in Phoenix).


1. Braun Strowman/Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/Chris Jericho (Night of Champions 9/20/15)

ER: Some rando in a flak jacket jumps into the ring right when they're about to announce the mystery opponent (Jericho), Bray was really great with a "Is that your guy!?" reaction to the babyfaces. Dean was trying to hold back laughter and that's probably not what they wanted, but I'm amused. Michael Cole is in full desperation "What a moment!" selling Jericho's participation. JBL mentions Jericho working for "Riki Tenryu" as a junior heavyweight. Announce crew killing it. Match itself was plenty of fun. I had never seen Strowman before and he was a kick. I'm kind of a sucker for big lugs and this guy is pretty mammoth. Really impressed me standing next to Harper. That is a two man team I wouldn't mind seeing more of. I loved Strowman's finisher as it really looked like he was squeezing the life out of Jericho. Jericho's legs dangling was a great visual, like fucking Darth Vader choking out a dude. Luke Harper is so damn good, he really should have been given the ball. These teams work together nicely and it always just serves to piss me off that they broke up both teams as we could still be in the middle of awesome trios, with some new members being added or cycled out.

2. Braun Strowman/Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns/Randy Orton/Dean Ambrose (Raw 10/5/15)

ER: A match that could have been much better, but was plagued by some sloppy performances (Orton in particular), some guys getting in the way (more guys altering their "run path" than normal), but a really terrific early Braun performance. Braun is definitely the best thing about this, as the faces regularly team up on him to try to take him off his feet. There's a fun early sequence where Orton dropkicks him, then Reigns/Ambrose do a double shoulderblock to knock him through the ropes to the floor. Later, as the match is breaking down, he eats a dive from Dean, then a superman punch, then Ambrose leaps onto his back from the apron; Braun stands up with Dean on his back, then runs him over the rail and into the timekeeper's area. Ambrose took some big bumps off lariats throughout, there were some nice cut off spots (really liked Reigns setting up the spear but getting punched in the back of the head by Bray), Braun also takes a great post bump, Harper times a superkick *perfectly* on Reigns, and the match ended up being really "house show" fun.

3. Braun Strowman/Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns/Randy Orton (Smackdown 10/6/15, Aired 10/8/15)

ER: A continuation of the "how do you even take Braun off his feet!?" story. Orton and Bray match up nicely but briefly, with Bray stiffing the hell out of him while Orton is draped on the ring apron, blistering his back with a clubbing shot and hitting a yakuza kick to the temple. Orton basically disappears from the match after that, as we get an extended run of Braun/Roman. Roman hits a bunch of lariats to try to knock him down, then goes for a samoan drop which Braun escapes from with a heavy back elbow. Roman manages to kind of trap Braun in the ropes, and begins wailing on him, hits a great kick to the chest and then hits the superman punch to knock Braun to the floor, and Roman follows by attacking Bray and hitting the drive by on Braun. Bray ends things quickly by lobbing a chair at Roman, getting the DQ. Not actually sure where Orton went as everybody just forgot about him, but this was more fun.

4. Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns (Raw 10/12/15)

ER: Watching all of these back to back really highlights how often JBL talks about Bill Kazmaier and Jeep Swenson when talking about Braun, and how he always acts like he's coming up with those names on the spot. "The more I think about it, the more Braun reminds me of Jeep Swenson...except I don't think Swenson had the athleticism of Strowman," JBL says for the 4th Braun match in a row. It's like a decade ago when I was chapter skipping through the Lesnar DVD and realized every Brock entrance started with Tazz going "Well...Here comes the pain!" in the exact same way. And this match didn't not work, but it didn't totally work. They repeat a lot of stuff from their prior week Smackdown tag showdown, and there were a couple clunky spots in the middle of really great spots. It's weird as in his Night of Champions match, and that Raw trios up above, Braun does a lot of offense, but in these last two matches he's basically in the Giant Gonzalez or Zeus role of taking all offense, and just staggering around in place without going down. And Braun isn't really great at staggering around, he's way better at explosive short burst offense. Braun does lock on a nice cravate (that kind of kills the crowd for a bit), and the ending is great with him taking a huge backwards bump over the announce table, spilling nastily to the floor and getting counted out. The bump was really wild and pretty unexpected, but the match weirdly felt like a step back.


We'll get to Parts 2 and 3 before Payback on 4/30!

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2017 Ongoing MOTY List: Wyatt v. Harper House Show

3. Bray Wyatt v. Luke Harper WWE 2/6

PAS: This is exactly what you want a house show match between these guys to be. Pretty much all action, big shots back and forth some nice bumps. Really entertaining. Harper is so much fun, he takes a big bump to the floor, throws some great looking uppercut and keeps the action moving. I really think the move to Smackdown has reenergized Wyatt, as he has had more energy in recent weeks. This was a pair of heavyweigth guys moving with juniors energy.  I assume that both guys are tuning on Orton and rejoing forces, so this might be the only match between the two that shows up.

ER: Man I miss going to house shows. House shows are always the best. And Phil is right that Wyatt, be it the move to Smackdown or what, is more energized now than at any time over the last 18 months. He was really fun here, finding neat ways to fall and sell, and throwing big bombs when needed. His uppercuts were on but even moreso were his overhand rights. Check that one he throws on Harper as Harper climbs the buckles, that's pretty damn impressive to rear back like that, throw a fast punch, and still make it look good. I  liked his selling for Harper, especially on this one superkick where Wyatt bent at the waist, threw a leg out to stabilize himself, and eventually faceplanted. Wyatt hits a couple big sentons, crazy fast cross block, even turns the crab walk into an almost Lawler strap spot. Harper has major singles star appeal and the crowd was mighty hot for this, Harper fed into it with a big rope flip senton (not quite Dick Togo's but I appreciate the big man effort), big bump to the floor, fun tease of hitting his own Sister Abigail, and a nice roll up reversal of Bray's SA. I'm happy this turned up. These 10 minute quick paced house show matches are like a satisfying sandwich.


2017 MOTY MASTER LIST

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2017 Ongoing MOTY List: America Alpha v. Wyatt Family

1. American Alpha v. Bray Wyatt/Randy Orton WWE Smackdown 1/10

ER: Fun little gem from SDL, worked like a mid 90s Rock n Rolls/Heavenly Bodies match. Orton and Wyatt have been putting in their best work in a couple years (maybe more in Orton's case) as a team, and I'm glad they got a nice long TV match against AA. They were really fun cutting off Gable, loved the sequence with Bray allllmost hitting Sister Abigail. Orton was working like his dad, hit a killer slingshot suplex, and really looked revitalized in the ring in a way I haven't noticed in ages. Bray too as he was looking really explosive, getting big height on his senton, running super fast on his avalanche. Gable hit an unexpected somersault senton off the apron and was doing anything to get ahead of the Wyatts, and while Jordan is a fine hot tag we all knew it was building to a big Gable hot comeback. We'll avoid talking about his punches (because man were those some bad punches) but Gable was awesome using his body as a weapon. Big crossbody, boss german suplex, just tearing around the ring flying into fools. Harper was integrated well and that guy really needs a singles push, and I could really get used these kind of tags on SDL every week.

PAS: Orton may have really found his lane as a heel tag worker, Heavenly Bodies isn't the right comp, as there was no stooging and comedy here, this was more like an Andersons tag match with both Wyatt and Orton being simple and vicious. Orton's chinlock and Garvin Stomp work way better in a tag setting, than as time killers in singles matches. AA are both still pretty green, but they have some great suplexes and a lot of energy and great suplexes and energy will go a long way. Too bad they are moving towards a Wyatt breakup because this tag team is the most I have enjoyed these guys in years.

2017 MOTY MASTER LIST

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WWE TLC 2016 Somehow Ended Up Being a Live Blog

I'm not going to really attempt to stay live on this one, but still wanted to see the show. So I'll be a little more pokey than normal. The brand extension and its ushering in of seemingly weekly PPVs is the bane of Rachel's existence.

1. American Alpha/Hype Bros./Apollo Crews vs. Vaudevillains/Ascension/Curt Hawkins

ER: Leave it to Mauro to call out a battle of the Edgeheads. Mojo debuts a "Hammer Time" fist drop that is genuinely so stupid that it might be the very thing to get him over. Every single person in this match is super vocal. There is constant chatter going on. It's like every Barry Darsow gimmick having a multiman tag against themselves. Viktor still works really hard which is pretty impressive considering how things have gone for his team ever since the NXT call up. Him matching up against Gable was fun and the flapjack into a superkick looked impressive. Crowd is mic'd really well, feels like you can hear really strong reactions, but they all sound individual, not just bulk roars. It's like it's mic'd in stereo. I was really enjoying the scenic pace things were traveling at, but you can tell immediately when they got the "everybody's finishers" signal which is kind of a bummer. This could have easily gone 20, just trim some time from the kickoff show. Hawkins runs nicely into a Crews high kick and suplex from the ring to the floor was cool. Nice little kickoff match.

2. Randy Orton/Bray Wyatt vs. Heath Slater/Rhyno

ER: Here's four guys I really didn't care much about several months ago, who I could see having a good match. And I love all the stuff with Slater on the apron. He gets totally upended by a lariat to his legs, and then gets almost alleyooped back into the ring right into an Orton powerslam. Rhyno looks super orange here. Curt Hawkins looked super orange in the first match. Are these guys trying to subtly play to Vince's Trump boner? Especially Hawkins, with his orange glow and swept back hair and spreading of facts that are in fact nothing close to factual. Oh and things ended while I was rambling. That felt quick.

3. Nikki Bella vs. Carmella

ER: Love people pointing out Nikki's MMA braids. So awesome. They both have their hands and wrists wrapped too. Carmella's figure 4 headscissors is a great spot, especially with her grabbing her own foot. Though Nikki's stick shot to break it up could have looked way way better. But she more than made up for it with that roundhouse kick off the barricade. Carmella ran right into it, too. The boot into Carmella's shoulderblades to set it up was gross too. Man Nikki really went out of her way to fire extinguish Carmella's ass and vagina. Her finisher was literally set up by an extended icing down of Carmella's asshole. Which, would probably leave someone fairly vulnerable, so, sure.

4. Ladder Match: Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

ER: This starts nicely with a bunch of fast work, especially loved Ziggler trying to grab a ladder under the ring and getting blasted by a through the ropes dropkick. All of their stuff fighting around an upright ladder looked good too, and then Ziggler takes a great drop toehold into a ladder. This is good! We're almost 10 minutes in and haven't gotten any silly climbing spots, which is refreshing. This is more ladders being used as weapons, and guys taking spills into ladders, which certainly comes off more painful. Setting up the propped ladder in the corner spots was a little wonky, but the Ziggler elbow off the top looked nice. Once they start climbing and falling I lose some interest, thought things were going way better during the first 10. Miz hears me complaints and starts slamming Ziggler's knee in the ladder a bunch, then locks on a vicious figure 4. Ziggler gets a little medodramatic on the superkick attempt but I appreciate what he was going for and liked how it lead right to the SCF on the ladder. Miz dangling from the belt and getting a ladder smacked into him was novel and Miz sold the hell out of that knee. Maryse as a second has been really fun and I love her selling Miz' knee injury not with a flip out, but more of a "awkwardly sucking in through teeth". And I love that horizontal ladder in the corner callback spot, with Dolph getting powerbombed into it. This was good for 10 minutes, lost its way a little bit, and has now come rushing back to being real good. Miz limping up a ladder while Ziggler does pull ups up his ladder was suuuuuper overwrought but kind of wonderful pro wrestling. And Rachel predicted the finish before the match even started by saying "Well Ziggler never wins, so that can't happen right?" When she's right, she's right. This match was real good. And then Miz calls Maryse over to the apron to help him with his bad wheel, and that's awesome as Dolph is just fetal position crying on the ground in the background.

5. Chair Match: Kalisto vs. Baron Corbin

ER: The feud that's been driving all those new Network subs! This starts really fun though, with Kalisto using speed to stay a step ahead while Corbin sets up chair spots that backfire. The opening was really cool David/Goliath stuff with Kalisto trying to spin kick a chair into Corbin but Corbin wisely just letting go of the chair, then rushing Corbin with a chair but Corbin just holding his arms out to catch it. Corbin chokes him on the floor and wings him upside down into the barricade by his neck. Corbin hits a high slam in the ring and sets up tons of chairs, and Kalisto hits a short rana into the set up chairs, then hits a massive Thesz press off the top sending both through a bunch of set up chairs. This is unexpectedly really great. Kalisto flies to the floor with a dive and Corbin catches and just plants him with a brutal backdrop. We get some fun stuff with Corbin chasing Kalisto with a chair, and Kalisto dodging shots, but then Kalisto throws a chair at him and hits a nice rana off the barricade. Back in and Kalisto does a moonsault kneedrop onto a chair/Corbin and my god these guys are really trying out there. Crowd does not care. But they're wrong. Kalisto bashes Corbin around the ring with a chair, but then leaps into a nasty shot when jumping off the top, and Corbin hits a nasty end of days on a pile of chairs which had to be no walk in the park for him either. This far far far exceeded any kind of expectations. Both guys were nuts.

6. Tables Match: Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch

ER: The rules of a table match seem pretty weenie after the two matches that just happen. Those matches had chairs and ladders being used as weapons, and people taking rough spills into both, and now this one is built around avoiding one bump through one table. But we shall see. Becky is good about bouncing her face off various surfaces for Bliss offense. Liked the mini curb stomps, and in general whenever a move requires a face to be whipped into a mat, Lynch goes in fast with a nasty whip motion. Tough for me to get into this one as it's based all around avoiding the one big bump instead of just taking tons of big bumps. It's the escape the cage vs. violent cage match problem. They do start winning me over with that sick DDT on a flipped over table, with Lynch technically taking it but Alexis going back first over the table brace. Becky is real nasty about bending Bliss' arm through the table legs in painful ways. And then Bliss flies ribs first into a table edge and on replay it doesn't look as good but I'll pretend I didn't see that. And yeah this mostly didn't work. Building to one bump that was not even a top 10 impressive bump on the evening just isn't a really satisfying match to be handed. They did about all they could with a kind of limp stipulation, but that doesn't make it any more interesting.

7. TLC Match: Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles

ER: Styles is working OT in this one. Everything in the first few minutes is Ambrose lightly doing things that requires AJ to fly recklessly into ladders, across tables and into chairs. Dean caps off the half-assery with the lightest running lariat to the back of AJ's head. I don't know how AJ even knew how to bump for that. But this does just continue to evolve into a real AJ show. He's bumping like mad and throwing himself so impressively through everything. But Dean amps it up about 10-12 minutes in. His jab/chop combo is the best it's looked in ages. But this is the Styles show, baby, and not just talking about the ever widening split in his tights revealing more and more of his buns. He takes a wild bump through a table but can't stop there as we also get him doing a balls out (maybe soon with those tights!) springboard 450 to the floor through a table, crashing through Ambrose and face planting into the floor. This dude is nuts. James Ellsworth comes out and gets booed as they liked the match just fine as it was. Styles takes a nutso fast flipping bump off the ladder and to the floor, and then Ellsworth turns on Ambrose and shoves Dean off a ladder through two tables, leading to the Styles win. Boy, Ellsworth. That guy is still around. It's weird when somebody good gets over on their own and WWE flips out and cuts their legs out, but then someone like Ellsworth gets over and WWE pushes them more than anybody ever actually wanted.


Well this ended up being a really great show that went by super quick. Some of these PPVs have been total never ending slogs but this one was paced just right. Miz/Ziggler and Kalisto/Corbin were great in totally unexpected ways, other stuff was kept inoffensively short, and really only the tables match left me sorta flat. Can't actually remember the last PPV I enjoyed as much as this one.

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WWE Backlash 2016 Live Blog

ER: Found out a PPV was happening tonight, Phil said the card looked like junk but I had no idea what the card was, so he urged me to GO IN BLIND!! Smackdown has kind of overperformed since the draft so even with the card looking bleh on paper I'm hoping to maybe get surprised by it.

ER: Pre-show has some pretty great moments, like Lawler just completely shitting all over Dolph Ziggler, followed by Lita shitting all over Ziggler, followed by the table unanimously deciding that Dolph is a total failure.

And Slater/Rhyno were flat out great doing a Q&A. Rhyno had some great dry delivery, answering a "how have you been getting ready?" with "All sorts of things. Water aerobics at the community pool. No more community pool after tonight though." With Slater butting in, "That's right I'm getting my above ground after tonight." They played off each other soooo good and came off with a real nice natural, easy charisma. No overly scripted, unfunny "comedy", just them being themselves and being funny. Great segment.

1. Apollo Crews vs. Baron Corbin

ER: Didn't really care much for the opening of this, but once they started dropping big moves on each other and bumping all over the place, the final 3 minutes got pretty hot. Both guys have some fairly unlikely offense, but they both committed to the offense and made it work. Crews bumped big off Corbin's cool grounded chokeslam, the Crews' fallaway slam/samoan drop on the floor was sick, Corbin hit a massive spinning backdrop, and yeah, the big moves won me over. Still can't really get much of a feel for Corbin, and he's a guy I've now seen several times. It's weird.

2. Becky Lynch vs. Natalya vs. Naomi vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Carmella vs. Nikki Bella

ER: These matches always seem like a total mess. They're always a jumble, people always get crossed up, and then suddenly all the eliminations happen at once. And that's pretty much true of this. But it had some moments. It was easily the best I've seen Alexa Bliss look, and she showed more personality than any other gal in this. Usually I think she looks fairly inept but he backflip knees actually hit for once, she lobbed a great knee into Becky's face, nicely held onto the top rope to prevent the neckbreaker/powerbomb that eventually finished her. She was a bright spot I was not expecting. And then the eliminations flew fast and pointlessly. Natalya looked awkward as hell in all her exchanges with Naomi, like she was trying to make Naomi look bad, except Naomi looked fine against everyone else. Becky Lynch really does nothing for me. Nikki was mostly underused here. Carmella tried but needs more time (I liked her quick elimination on Nikki and her slapping Lynch though), and yeah this whole thing added up to not a whole lot.

3. The Usos vs. Hype Bros

ER: Usos were due for a heel turn, I like it. Ryder looks like he's making the most of his newfound 2016 PPV time, really busting ass this match. His slingshot splash was great, crazy missile dropkick off the apron, weird but painful looking bump off the apron to the floor. Loved Mojo's running all the way around the ring double shoulder block after the Ryder dropkick. But Usos on paper as a heel team sounds better than execution so far. I'm sure they'll get better at it. Their heat segment wasn't too compelling and they don't have tons of heel stuff to fill time yet. They've been working fired up babyface for like 6 years now, it'll take some adjusting. That flying superkick to the back of the knee is a sick finisher set up though. That move is nasty.

I feel guilty fast forwarding through Connor's Cure segments.

4. Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

ER: Well this was really good. This is one of the best Miz performances I can recall ever seeing. Ziggler was kind of along for the ride, but Miz slayed here. Loved Ziggler owning him on the mat, always going for that sleeper choke, and I buy the sleeper from Ziggler. In fact I think the period I enjoyed Ziggler the most ('09 or '10) was when he regularly used that backpack sleeper as a near-finish. In my brain I'm picturing a series of matches he had with Kane of all people, where he really effectively employed the sleeper. So we get some rear chokes to start and then later came back to some great stuff with the sleeper. They were given a lot of time here, and made the most of it. Miz was super aggressive and broke out some stuff I've not seen him do. Those running corner dropkicks were devastating. Ziggler breaks out his great chest first bump in the corner. I dug Ziggler setting up the famouser by doing a little sliding shin kick, dug them fighting on the floor with Ziggler muscling up and lugging Miz back in the ring to avoid a countout. But I really wish they had just let Miz win clean instead of the normally out of the way Maryse interfering. The entire announce crew already tossed Ziggler under the bus before the show, and Miz is hotter than he's maybe ever been. Let the dude get a win. Still, really good match.

5. Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

ER: Of course it's Kane. And they tried and Wyatt busted his ass, and at least Wyatt was presented as Kane's equal the whole match, not as someone scared of the unstoppable monster. They went out and had probably the best match they could have had. Wyatt breaks him down with a chair, the senton through the announce table was awesome (even though Kane was the next one to go on offense), and I thought overall Wyatt came off good here. But really this was just a way to occupy Bray until Orton is healthy again. So whatever.

I have no clue who those two guys were who AJ talked to, but one of them looked exactly like current Rhyno, minus 100 pounds. Look at the nose, eyes, facial hair. That is Rhynito.

6. The Usos vs. Heath Slater & Rhyno

ER: Maybe the Usos just needed one match as heels under their belts to start catching on, because I already liked them more in this match. Slater gets predictably cut off from Rhyno, and I especially enjoyed one Uso choking Heath in the ropes while the other runs and uppercuts him from the floor. The match itself really wasn't much, but it went in the right direction. Heath has certainly earned a big moment over the last couple months, and the Usos are going to be far better served in the American Alpha feud. So Usos and AA will get to tear it down for a few months, while Slater gets a nice moment in the sun for a few months on top. Okay match, great result.

7. AJ Styles vs. Dean Ambrose

ER: Styles as been an absolute king over the last few months, so I'm greatly curious to see what he can do here against I guy I loved for years, but who's stock has dropped more than maybe anyone over the last year. And Styles is really making it work. It's wisely worked with Dean doing minimal offense, as even at his indy match best he was never known for his offense, but the last year has seen him lob some of the flimsiest offense in WWE. So AJ - who has some great offense - works him over,  kills him with elbows (that diving one to a seated Dean was awesome), Dean flies wildly into a turnbuckle, AJ keeps at him, works him into some weird awesome calf/ankle crusher in the corner that leads to some nice leg moments (love AJ working a leg lock when Ambrose starts booting him in the face), with AJ rolling through into the awesome calf crusher. I miss that period when every WWE main event had a submission alternate finisher. That Brock Lock and Lasso from El Paso were the best. The calf crusher is a totally believable finish, and I did NOT see Dean just grabbing and bouncing AJ's head off the mat to break it. THAT is an awesome way to get out of a sub. God does AJ sell that catapult on the apron, just shoulder tackling that ringpost. And then things start to get wild. That vicious 450 with Styles practically over-rotating his face into the mat only made it look like he was whipping his body as hard as possible into Ambrose, and then AJ goes on a tear illustrating how he's made every single opponents' offense look amazing ever since arriving in WWE (well....except Jericho. He really couldn't salvage that offense). AJ gets booted to the floor and flies ass over elbow, then takes Dean's weak tope better than anybody else. Most people take Dean's tope and absorb it, which kind of highlights the lightness of it. AJ acts like it throws him off balance, which in this case sends him over the announce table. I realllllllly wish AJ had ducked that damned rebound lariat, but at least he bumped it big. And I love the kick to balls -> Styles Clash finish. It's a way to somehow win deservedly, while also being a royal asshole in winning. He could have likely just kicked him in the stomach and got to the same conclusion, but he went balls. Styles is awesome. Total ace.

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WWE Survivor Series 2015 Live(ish) Blog

So I basically have not been watching any WWE television. If I remember something is on then I'll flip over to the channel, see if anything catches my eye. The product is not doing a whole lot for me right now. I'm going into this not knowing literally any of the matches on the card. That sounds like a terrible idea.

1. Traditional Survivor Series Match: The Miz, Bo Dallas, Stardust & The Ascension vs. Neville, The Dudley Boyz, Titus O'Neill & Goldust

ER: Kind of hilarious that we get a "traditional" Survivor Series match on the pre-show of Survivor Series. Can't have this Survivor Series shit getting in the way of Survivor Series. And woof that is one dogshit 5 man team right there. I mean good lord. The team name should be "The 5 guys Eric would switch channels to avoid". I mean come on. I'm watching you BLIND Survivor Series, and this is what you immediately do to me!? But I cannot skip it, because they had to throw Goldust into the thing. And he was the 10th guy announced. If it had been pretty much 90% of the rest of the roster, it would have been skippable. But I gotta watch any and all Goldust. And he immediately eliminates Viktor with his gorgeous powerslam. I'm not too broken up about that. Titus' corner strikes on Konnor look really good. Konnor's jumping elbowdrop on Ray looked pillowy soft and terrible. Neville gets a fun flurry against Stardust and then gets pinned by a bulldog. We're going into dumbshit quick pin mode. This is mostly awful. Cody punches Goldust in the ear and things get better. Bo Dallas has a shitty chinlock. Match ends awhile later. Nothing to see here. Goldust looked good. None of the eliminations had any build or meant anything. This is clearly a horrible idea of mine.

Byron Allen (?) says that match reminded him of all the Survivor Series matches from when he was a kid. Yeah. There's zero chance this match reminded anybody of anything.

2. Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio

ER: Roman is getting what they call a "Cena reaction". Del Rio looks like a star. He looks like he's in the best cosmetic shape of his career. He looks pretty massive. I didn't realize he was larger than Reigns. Del Rio looks really good throughout this. Dug his hotshot and enziguiri, then he takes a nice thud on a Fuerza bump. Reigns takes a nice ringpost bump. ADR makes me buy his missed double stomp off the top. He did a real great knee buckle stumble sell. JBL tries to make it out like he faked that knee buckle as part of a strategy, but faking a knee injury to take a superman punch sounds like a pretty fucking stupid strategy. I liked ADR in this, and the match got about 14 minutes to do something, but didn't do much for me. They tried to make the stretch run dramatic, but really they just had ADR lock in the armbar a couple times only to have Roman power out. Kinda made all the babbling about a weak shoulder come off as a shrug. Nice individual moments. Pretty unfulfilling as a whole.

3. Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens

ER: There's a fat guy in the crowd clearly telling his woman the back story on every match so far. You can totally tell. He's pointing at each guy and leaning in, you can just picture him saying "alright so this guy beat a guy named Dolph Ziggler. I know, right? I don't know. Yeah it's probably not his real name. But Ambrose. Yeah the skinnier guy. He beat Ziggler. This is a semi-final. There's a whole tournament." And boy this isn't doing a whole helluva lot for me either. And as I type that they start to win me over. Owens hits a mammoth superplex, Dean hits one of his best ever rebound lariats, Ambrose eats a couple nice superkicks, takes a gross slam into an announce table. But the build for these matches has done absolutely nothing for me. Both have come off like guys doing moves with no consequences. I mean jesus even though I thought they looked nasty, in the last minute of the match Dean got slammed into the announce tables, took two superkicks, and then still got the pin.

The SNES commercial for TLC looked really great. The Reigns superman punch animation was perfection.

4. Ryback & The Lucha Dragons & The Usos vs. New Day, Sheamus & King Barrett

ER: Unhip Sheamus made me chuckle saying they were gonna get jiggy on these poseurs. Big E avoiding eye contact with him afterwards was perfect. Woods has an amazing James Brown pompadour with a ducktail mullet. The construction of the whole thing is really impressive. Sadly it will probably all tumble down after one bump. Sheamus takes a couple really great bumps to the floor working Sin Cara: one nice tumbling one landing on his side, and taking an enziguiri and bumping on his knees to the floor. Ouch. Ryback hits one of the ugliest dives ever, but we'll just go A for effort on that one, like when Road Dogg tried to moonsault off a cage. This whole thing is pretty fun. Big E's spear to the floor is such a brutal spot. New Day is probably the best possible use of Kofi ever. He doesn't have to do tons of offense and let Big E carry the load. New Day ditching Sheamus kinda makes sense, and Sheamus works shockingly well with smaller workers. I loved him stomping on Kalisto's hands. Sheamus did about as good a job as possible holding down the fort without a team. This elimination match was a massive step up from the garbage one on the pre show.

5. Paige vs. Charlotte

ER: Charlotte has never impressed me before. Paige has a really great abdominal stretch, pressing down hard on the side of Charlotte's head every time she wrenches it in. Paige also takes a mean electric chair bump onto the apron. Charlotte's rolling headscissors was both goofy and painful looking, so it gets a pass. But it's not as nasty as Paige's surfboard lock or her great knees in the corner. But those were not as nasty as Charlotte's scream and face after hitting a so-so spear. Match overall was pretty decent. Charlotte still doesn't do much for me. I don't think she has much body charisma, and a lot of her offense feels very dependent on somebody leaning way into her offense.

6. Tyler Breeze vs. Dolph Ziggler

ER: Ziggler has an updated look on mid 90s cruising attire Shawn Michaels. Even has those same awful boots. Kenny Omega douche hair + Shawn Michael lube guy at the fisting station gear = profit?  Match itself was decent enough for a completely heatless affair. Both guys did some things that looked cool, also never made me care about the things they were doing. Some of this may be the announce team. The announce team is the ultimate limp dick tonight. They sound rehearsed to say what is happening in front of them, while also not making it important or interesting or dramatic. It's a brutal combo. Breeze bumps into Dolph's stuff well, flying into a dropkick and planting himself on a flapjack. Announcers push this as a HUGE win for Breeze, but really it would have been far more shocking to everybody if Ziggler would have won. That dude loses to everybody, and has been doing so for years.

7. Wyatt Family vs. Undertaker & Kane

ER: Undertaker's slow menacing walk to the ring looks less doomy and more accident victim learning how to walk again. But in the ring he looks spry enough against Harper. Kane takes an awesome bump over the announce table. Cole is desperately trying to push every single Undertaker movement as "ANOTHER CLASSIC #UNDERTAKERSURVIVORSERIESMOMENT!!!" He's beyond insufferable. Braun takes a fine bump through an announce table, Undertaker impresses me by getting Harper up for a Tombstone eventually, and really this was Undertaker going through some greatest hits so Cole could cream his jeans and scream VINTAGE!

8. Dean Ambrose vs. Roman Reigns

ER: This was pretty easily the best match of the night, but that wasn't really saying a whole bunch. I almost always like it when Shield guys match up, and this match was short for them (about 10 minutes) but was worked at a quick 10 minute match pace. I don't care for the spear as a death finisher, but Ambrose is great spilling all around for Reigns, and I liked the kneeling punch exchange. Also thought Ambrose looked badass with his torn shirt from the previous Owens match, made him look like a hero towards the end of an action movie.

Sheamus cashes in MITB afterwards, and yeah that concept is pretty beyond played out. It's an amusing dick move to cash in on Reigns while Reigns was celebrating in his massive confetti pile Good lord whoever ordered confetti accidentally checked the "case" measurement instead of individual confetti packages, so on the "Confetti Celebration Dial" instead of getting "Tasteful World Title Celebration" we ended up getting "Rip Taylor Just Died Two Days Before Pride Weekend and We Must Celebrate His Memory".

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