WrestleMania 38 Night One Live Blog 4/2/22

And so, I find myself alone and with nothing at all interesting to do on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, and I feel my brain slowly slipping into actually thinking the writing about WrestleMania in real time is a good idea. I know it's a bad idea, and yet I feel compelled for reasons that are beyond me. I have only seen one WWE show this year (including TV and PPV) and that was Royal Rumble, which was...exactly as bad as most of the Rumbles have been over the past decade or so. I actually thought the men's rumble was fairly salvageable, while the women's rumble was one of the worst things ever put on WWE programming. And so, after watching one bad one one mediocre 60 minute battle royals, my poisoned brain thought that writing about WrestleMania would somehow be a productive use of mine or anyone else's time. I don't know what matches are on this show, I did not watch the pre-show and I have not seen any 2022 WWE TV. All I know is that people whose opinions I trust are not at all excited about this show, and that perversely must have made me more interested. We're all sickos and idiots. Simple as that. 

1. Shinsuke Nakamura/Rick Boogs vs. The Usos

ER: It is unfathomable that they did not have a single pre-show match while hosting a TWO HOUR pre-show. Injuries and a half dozen DUI have prevented the Usos from teaming up at the past few Manias. The Usos cut Nakamura off from Boogs with some simple kicks and holds (only worthwhile one was Jey's low boot on the apron), then Jimmy and Nakamura are both exhausted 3 minutes in and must build to a hot tag. Boog's axe handle offense should look better, and I think it used to look better. Having Boogs' knee buckle while lifting both Usos is a smart way to take him out of things, and a knee blowing out from lifting too much is far easier to fake than a prolapsed asshole. I'll give the fans huge credit, because they are loud as hell for this match, which would be immediately forgotten minutes after it took place on Smackdown. The Jey superkick while Jimmy was holding Nakamura's hair looked great, and wow this is not a great start to the Grandaddy of Them All. Honestly fucked that the Harder Farmer didn't take Boogs' place once Boogs hurt his knee. 

2. Drew McIntyre vs. Happy Corbin

ER: It's weird being the one guy into Baron Corbin, but I am. Are more people into Corbin now? Do they not like him because he looks like a tall athletic Colin Robinson? I like the way Corbin and Drew move around each other. They're similar size and have a couple similar movements, except one is dressed like Waylon Mercy had Waylon Mercy worked at a Fire Island gift shop. I like Corbin's overhand rights, but liked a little underhand punch he threw a couple times even more. I don't know if I've seen him throw that punch really, but obviously I'm going to support guys adding new punches to their matches. They're the same size, but the match is clearly being worked with Corbin as the heavyweight and McIntyre as the 2000s Edge-style cruiserweight who people don't seem to realize is 6'4. Drew is out here taking the Mysterio bump into the guardrail and hitting a running swanton into Corbin and Moss, missing his running dropkick when Corbin ducks out of the way. Corbin is the one throwing big punches and going for big slams, Drew is the one constantly leaving his feet. Asskicker Drew is better than 260 lb. Finn Balor Offense Drew, but I thought Corbin did a great job pushing the pace of this and setting up Drew's big misses and leaning into his hits. This was good, but underwhelming for WrestleMania. 

3. Rey & Dominik Mysterio vs. Logan Paul/The Miz

PAS: Dominik Mysterio wearing the Gringo Locos gear as a tribute to his real dad.

ER: Dominik's gear is incredible, the first actual good ring gear of his career...and Logan Paul goes and one-ups him by wearing the million dollar Pikachu around his neck. Can't help but dig a guy who clearly gets it. I liked Paul's big leapfrogs and dropdown splits, but Bad Bunny didn't flinch on strikes in his match and you can't lean out of a Rey kick. Rey's not going to be the one who stiffs you man, you gotta stay in to the end. I love Rey's little ashy gray goatee poking out of his mask, and I love Paul committing to the running powerslam even more. Brother held on for dear life and followed it through. I wish someone had clued Paul into Kawada kicks, because Paul in the black and yellow doing trolling little kicks to the forehead would be a perfect bit of offense for him. I liked Paul's Blockbuster and his bump off the apron, and after I was ready to tease him after he flinched, he's tightened everything up since that flinch. There will be a handful of wrestlers on this show whose work doesn't look as good as Paul's (with Boogs already arguably one of them). Miz put a bunch of extra flash into Mysterio's great swinging DDT, and then showed he is the bigger man by doing the Three Amigos as tribute to Dominik's real dad. I'm fully on Team Paul when he does the Three Amigos and then does the shoulder shimmy up top before hitting a very good frog splash, but then he sets up Rey's 619 as well as anyone since mid 2000s Chavo with a great missed clothesline stumble. I thought this was pretty great. Everyone was on and the layout let everyone shine. Everyone knew when to hang back and when to take the moment, and it just coming together and building. Constant smile on my face during this one. 

4. Biance Belair vs. Becky Lynch

ER: Texas Southern marching band doing Belair's entrance is so damn cool, and I loved the big brass touches they added as accompaniment to her theme. Once they started enhancing the existing them and not just playing a marching band version, it was next level. I don't know if this is a hot take or not, but Becky's chopped mullet looks so much better than that shitty Mad Max pompadour that has covered wrestling like a foul stench. I am a mark because I fully bit on the 10 second finish. They did it before, it wouldn't be shocking for them to do it again! The longer the match goes the more I love Becky's look. She looks like she'd be at a club in Liquid Sky. Her suplexes look fine, but the rope drape legdrop needs some work. I appreciate that this thing isn't 50-50 reversals of reversals, but I think Becky was in control for way too long and Bianca is far more impressive on offense than when she's selling. It's really weird that they are not letting Bianca do anything powerful. Becky not only gets to do all of the offense, but she also gets to slip out of every piece of Belair offense. When I finally think Becky is going to be planted with a powerbomb, it gets reversed. Belair's 450 looks so much cooler with the braid, but Becky Lynch coming up way short on the Molly Go Round and axe kicking Bianca in the face looked even better. Once the Manhandle Slam (ugh) happening on the steps I again bought into that false finish, thinking they could plausibly do a count out finish and even getting me to think that they would have put this as the main event if they were actually doing a title change. So, they got me to fully bite on two different false finishes, and that has to mean it's a good match. It shows they fully understand the story they're selling and know how to play off of fan expectations, and that's awesome. I still think there were ways to give Bianca more during the match as I don't think Lynch needed 15+ minutes of control just because she was losing the belt, but I cannot argue that the match was a success. 

5. Seth Rollins vs. Cody Rhodes

I can't say I'm very excited for this match, but I'm sincerely happy for the people who wanted Cody. I was a big fan of In the Weeds AEW era Cody, a guy who was no longer really had a role in the company he helped found, an interesting take on the played out shades of gray character as he actually felt like a real shades of gray person. But Cody Rhodes in the WWE doesn't sound interesting in any way to me, it takes all of the edge away from that weird character he was leaning into. But I will give all the credit in the world to Cody, because I don't think that anyone could have predicted that he would ever be getting this kind of Stadium show WrestleMania reaction even 5 years ago. I don't know the program that pairs these two up, and I don't understand Rollins' Epic Bacon Dalton Castle gimmick but we'll give it a shot. The vertical suplex to the floor was a great sprawling Cody bump, and it feels like they're making their small scale stuff a bit more upscaled for the stadium, and that's cool. I don't know if the match itself is grabbing me, but Rollins had bigger chops and a harder back elbow than normal and Cody's armlocks looked good, Rollins flies 20 feet over a table off an okay Cody tope, etc. The pinfall trading and strike reversals mostly looked bad, but at its core this was a Seth Rollins vs. Seth Rollins match and I couldn't vibe with it even with the crowd so loudly behind Cody. The move trading doesn't work for me, the bad Rollins Kings Road Tribute strikes don't work for me, but I do like that Cody understands internal WWE match logic of Invoking Legend Offense To Set Up Finisher is a surefire victory. I never would have guessed Cody would be getting among the loudest reactions at a WrestleMania, and I don't see how he can maintain this level of intrigue while in WWE, but for now people got what they wanted. 

6. Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte

ER: I'm not sure why I'm not more excited for comeback Ronda. She was one of my favorite things in pro wrestling during her initial run so maybe she just has some of the stink from that brutal Royal Rumble on her. Charlotte needs to throws a tighter back elbow. It's Ronda Rousey Charlotte, you can work like an asshole. The grappling was good and I like how Ronda rag dolled Charlotte on a couple of takedowns and tied her up in the ropes, but also took a cool flipping back bump to the floor when Charlotte reversed her. Charlotte responds to my note about her back elbow by walloping the entire side of Ronda's head with head arm and elbow, then runs face first into a Ronda kneelift. Weirdly, Rousey feels more like a rookie wrestler now than she did in 2018, and this whole thing is becoming a weird piece of theater. I don't know which page they are supposed to be on, I don't know who is messing up what, but it's kind of making the match more compelling? Charlotte's moonsault looks bad enough on its own, she doesn't need someone fucking up her timing. This is super disjointed and would be better if Charlotte got unprofessional, but it's staying a bit too genial. I said that it was too genial right as they stated kicking each other in the mouth on the mat. The end stretch was fine, the figure 8 and breaking of the figure 8 looked cool, but this match never threatened to be anywhere near as good as their Survivor Series 2018 match. Rousey was having great singles matches with every woman on the roster in 2018, and based on her big match performances in 2022 I just don't think that's a thing that's going to be happening this time around. 

7. Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Kevin Owens

ER: I can't believe they're actually giving us a wrestling match. I can't believe Stone Cold Steve Austin is coming back after like 20 years away and he's going to have a t-shirt and shorts match against Kevin Owens of all people. I will stop waiting for Austin to rip the shirt off, or tear the jorts off to reveal the black trunks underneath, but my only real base level hope for this is that it isn't anywhere near as depressing as the Bret/Vince match. The throwback Austin stuff in the ring certainly looked like a guy in his 50s who hadn't wrestled in a couple decades working through some of his classic mannerisms at a convention show. What I was not expecting, was this match suddenly getting great when they move it to the floor. Owens is game for taking big bumps around ringside, but I was actually shocked when Austin took a massive bump into the ringpost. I mean I was not expecting Steve Austin to wrestle, let alone take actual peak era Austin bumps, so this is insane. The crowd brawl was really good and Owens was so good at stumbling and tumbling his way down aisles at the perfect pace for Austin to follow along punching him. Good rhythm. Austin is one of my favorite wrestlers of all time, and no part of me would have predicted a few hours ago that I'd be seeing him take a vertical suplex onto concrete tonight. What a madman. This guy had a cool thing going by being the guy who never came back to give Hogan - or anyone - their dream match, and who knows maybe he sees Sting doing an insane balcony dive and goes "Hell Stone Cold Steve Austin can take a stupid bump on concrete". Owens is good a bumping down the long entrance ramp and Austin looks like he's having a great time out there, and I'm happy they're delivering much more than they needed to. I bet plenty of people would be happy just seeing a Stunner, so I imagine they are ecstatic seeing an actual Stone Cold brawl. Owens re-signs and main events WrestleMania with the biggest white whale retired wrestler in history, and my hat is off to WWE for actually giving a stadium of people a show filled with actual moments that they wanted, not ones that WWE wanted them to want. 

2022 MOTY MASTER LIST

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WWE Hell in a Cell 6/20/21

Mandy Rose vs. Natalya

ER: I really liked this, living up to the usually strong level of 8 minute match that happen on the pre-show. Natalya is so boring, and so confoundingly mad, because she has a good performance like this once every six months. Occasionally she'll bring actual shooter personality into a match, and Mandy has no problem doing that either. You can tell when a match is a little more chippy than expected, and this actually made their little confrontation building this match more interesting. They treated it seriously, had a match with some really good moments and a great pace. This felt like an interesting fight atmosphere that had a ton of one-upping, so many matches can feel totally disconnected from the reason the match is happening in the first place. They had an abdominal stretch reversal sequence that I really loved, with Mandy wrenching one in and slapping Natalya in the face, to have Natalya reverse it by grinding her elbow into Mandy's knee, and then they were both grinding elbows between ribs and over kneecaps, a really great sequence. They kept things snug the whole match, working tight headlocks and convincing submissions, and it's just really annoying that Natalya can do this twice a year. The broken clock of wrestling. This was Natalya's best match this year; Rose has been a consistently strong TV worker all year, but this was her best work in 2021. Two people coming together to have their best match in at least 6 months is always going to be a great thing. 

Bianca Belair vs. Bayley

ER: I liked this a lot though I do think it lost steam at the end. I don't think this match really needed the Cell and once they finally built to using it I think it shifted focus. Up until then I was into it all, thought Bayley was great at running hard into everything, and I loved the focus on Bayley distracting Bianca by going after her hair. Bianca whipping her hair into a chair is a funny spot, but Bayley tying her braid to ropes or a chair or standing on it was awesome.  Bianca was great at fighting out of it and Bayley's heel ringwork was good. The use of the ring steps and a chair was good, less interested in seeing the kendo sticks and have kendo stick prop set up time for a spot that would have been nastier as just a suplex on the floor. Bayley's strong presence playing off Bianca gave it a high floor, but I don't think this was as good as Mandy/Natalya. HIAC gimmick makes them think they have to go long, but it's fine to have a hot 12 minute HIAC rather than a 20 minute one that drags in spots. They have been trapped into associating this match with "long main event" regardless of feud or card placement. 

Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins

ER: There aren't many things that excite me less than the promise of a Seth Rollins match, but I think I like these non-main event Rollins matches so much more that my opinions have to course correct a bit. He's been on a nice in-ring run since Mania, and this was a good match that felt fresh, even though these guys have been having matches on WWE TV for many years now. Rollins was going after Cesaro's eye and I thought his punches at the eye looked great, and thought their chemistry was strong the whole match. I bit at all of the nearfalls, especially loved Rollins' small package roll up as Cesaro grabbed the legs for the big swing. Rollins gets good height on Cesaro's big stuff, it's a good match-up for this part of the card. 

Shayna Baszler vs. Alexa Bliss

ER: It's a shame because I think Bliss's work during non-horseshit parts of this match were great, every one of her cutoff elbows made for a great moment, I just will not ever enjoy this mind control "Shayna is scared to make eye contact with Bliss" nonsense. Even when they do it "well" like with Nia being forced to slap Reginald, it's the thing I'd rather not ever see in wrestling. Call me a crank, I'm fine with that being a line for me. The actual wrestling in the match made me just want to see a straight match between them. Bliss is good at elbowing Shayna in the mouth and actually finding ways to be the smaller aggressor, and I don't think I've ever seen them wrestle before. But it was always going to come down to boogeyman stuff and I can at least thank Shayna for spiking herself on a DDT and Abigail even though she had to make a lot of derpy hypnotized faces. 

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens

ER: This was their match, and they have managed to have their match in various interesting ways for longer than maybe anyone else in WWE. They always know how to add a little extra edge and Zayn especially is on a fine role. His conspiracy theorist asshole character works great with his ring style (or vice versa?) and he's been putting in some of my favorite work of his decade. Zayn gets his mouth busted open and both guys throw strikes that count, and both always seem to have a special desire to bounce on their shoulders and heads for offense. The always have lightly different ways to have the same good match, and this was no different. 

Rhea Ripley vs. Charlotte Flair

ER: Didn't care for this. I swear I looked at the clock during this and the number went down. 

Bobby Lashley vs. Drew McIntyre

ER: Didn't care for all of this either, and it was mainly due to the 25 minutes. We've seen these two match up several times since Mania and this felt like the least necessary of the bunch. There was a lot of good damage in the match, but ending a long HIAC match with a distraction roll up feels like a tough finish to pull off in 2021. Both landings through tables looked gross (Drew's death drop to the floor looked great) but the vibe just wasn't there for me here like it's been with the Mania, Backlash, and Raw matches. 

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The Horror Show at WWE Extreme Rules 7/19/20

ER: I am very interested in both women's title matches, and probably not anything else! I do have a perverse interest in how they're going to pull off the eyeball gimmick without making kids hate wrestling.


Kevin Owens vs. Murphy

ER: This was given more time than a typical pre-show match, but I liked the first half of the match a lot more than the second half. The first half was based around Owens throwing stiff strikes, hard shoulderblocks, big clotheslines, and I'd much rather see that. I get less interested by the time we have a too long fight on the top rope and the big nearfalls feel too performative. The best parts were always Owens shaking Murphy with elbows and crushing him with a cannonball, but I was less interested in seeing them have a Murphy match. It played better than a lot of that stuff, so Owens kept the floor high. A spirited and plenty hot opener, just not my preferred heat.

Tables Match: New Day (Big E/Kofi Kingston) vs. Cesaro/Shinsuke Nakamura

ER: This was a big moments match with plenty of cool big moments. Even on moments where the set up was longer than needed, the spot wound up paying off. I liked Nakamura's logical work around the tables, saw him smartly position them a couple of times, liked how he shoved one out of the way when rolling to the floor. I loved the spot where Kingston flew to the ground and smacked face first into a table, held there like a wall by Cesaro and Nakamura. Big E's spear through the ropes to Cesaro looked as spectacular as ever, and we should celebrate that he is still doing that spot. The final table spot looked crazy, Kofi getting drilled through those tables by Cesaro is something that would have played for two years in an ECW intro. Nobody will think about this spot after a couple weeks, but it looked crazy in the moment. The spots with the tables, in the tables match, were good! So this was fine.

Nikki Cross vs. Bayley

ER: I was excited for this one and really liked the how they started it. I bought into the idea that Nikki could pull off a flash upset. Nikki was getting smart quick roll-ups and landing heavy on several straight crossbodies for nearfalls was really engaging. I like Nikki's way of not rolling through crossbodies, but actually treating it like a potential finisher by landing hard. Her crossbody off the apron to the floor was really great, and I liked Bayley being kept on the ropes. They had a couple of fun fights in the ring skirt, and I'll always react to those. But the problem is that Nikki Cross is not good in a lot of ways. It can take her forever to get into position to deliver something, which makes disbelief suspension a lot more difficult, especially since we were supposed to believe that she had the capability of surprising Bayley. She doesn't get the reactions she could on offense because she doesn't seem to know how to peak things. She has been working a vest unzip/vest removal spot for over a year now, and it's like she never quite knows how to use a proper strap removal spot within a match. She makes it look like she's just removing a piece of clothing that got in the way. This match was one I was excited for on paper, but it kind of just wound up exposing Nikki's singles match weaknesses. I'm still into the Sasha/Bayley act, and that kept the bulk of this strong.

Seth Rollins vs. Rey Mysterio

ER: I'm...not really sure how I feel about this one? It's a weird gross idea that feels hard to pull off, while also feeling like something that nobody ever asked for. Trying to stab someone in the eye is a great way to end an I Quit match, but a match where the sole focus will be on pulling out an eye? I don't know who was asking for that. I'd also be willing to bet that someone on the writing team got the idea from watching Fulci's Zombie rather than from watching Magnum/Tully. The thing is, for a match with an insane advertised conclusion, Rey busts his ass to make this work, and Rollins comes along with him. Rey was really great at inserting Rey spots in the middle of eye spots, and he takes some wild bumps to make this match feel even more dangerous. The apron falcon arrow was sick, and he was so good at working spots around turnbuckles and ring steps. Rollins was no slouch, and I liked his ringpost shoulder bump among other things, but Rey is just too good. Trying to gouge someone's eye out on the corner of a ring step is gross stuff, and Rey plays the fear of it really well. He does great with a kendo stick jammed into the corner, really going after that Fulci eye gouge where the gap between eyeball and wood slowly closes (needed more sharp jagged splintery bits). This finish is what the finish was advertised as being. Part of me thinks "Hey that owns!" It looked disgusting and Rollins throwing up after is the kind of apex to the Grand Guignol shit they have been trying to pull off in little ways. But another part of me still just finds the stip odd and unnecessary. Plus, this is a fed that chose to only use Pirata Morgan twice and was uninterested in bringing back old and crazy PCO. I'm not sure I can trust them to know how to properly book pirate Rey.

Asuka vs. Sasha Banks

ER: This was a really great match with a monumentally stupid finish. It's pretty deflating to work through such appealing match with fine drama and an exciting build, and then completely undercut every part of it with a finish that hasn't flown in 25 years. Having a ref get taken out of commission, to be replaced by a heel wearing a ref shirt, is an idea that Vince Russo buried and resuscitated hundreds of times, a man who never learned the lessons of Pet Sematary. Just a weak an unexplainable finish to be doing in 2020. But the rest was great! Sasha has been my favorite to watch weekly these past several months, and I think her and Bayley are doing a great job essentially running television. I'd much rather see them doing what they're doing, than seeing Charlotte clogging up main events. Sasha bumped huge here and really made this feel special. She flew to the floor on a charge and flew again after getting knocked off the apron by a hip attack. She kept building her bumps to mean more the deeper we got, and the way she flew into Asuka's Germans took this to another level. Sasha can come off clumsy on big bumps, but I think she's gotten so much better at body control over the years. These suplexes looked like they really folded her in half, but going back and watching them you can see her land on her back and shoulders and fold in a way that looks like she just got dumped directly on her neck. A safer bump that looks career shortening is a smart move, and it looked killer. Sasha's comebacks were good, and the Banks Statements was used really effectively. It's a great finisher that plays even better with a flexible opponent, and Asuka was really good at making it matter as she scrambled to the ropes. Both of their kicks looked good, I loved Asuka turning a Banks top rope arm drag into a nasty knee lift to the chin, I was really loving all of this. But that finish is a real deflator.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre

ER: I thought this was really good. There isn't much in WWE I am less interested in than 2020 Dolph Ziggler matches, and yet this was a great title match that made great use of an intentionally lopsided stipulation. The stip (No DQ for Ziggler) made him more interesting. Ziggler throwing chairs at someone's knee in between taking painful throws over the announce table and into hard ringside objects he set up is just going to be way better than a typical Ziggler match. Ziggler was great at turning his normally athletic bumps into actually painful bumps, and Drew was wrecking him with glee. Ziggler took a great bump into the ringpost on the floor, ate several sick belly to belly suplexes in and out of ring (a cool fast on in the ring and a wild one into/over the announce table), and my favorite was probably McIntyre's awesome vertical suplex on the floor that really splatted Ziggler. Ziggler's cut off spots were strong, and I really got into the stip of him being able to cheat to stifle any momentum. The table spot was big, and they parsed out the nearfalls to keep the excitement strong. The finish was good too, and I'm unsure if that's because it's an actual good finish or that many of the other finishes have been bad enough that a competent finish feels like visionary genius. I wouldn't have guessed this would be the strongest match of the show, but it was and that's part of the fun.

Swamp Fight

ER: WWE is aiming, or more likely only capable of reaching, for deep cut straight to Netflix horror and those movies that used to be on the bottom row of Redbox kiosks. They need to surprise us by giving us a cinematic match that is based on Portrait of a Lady on Fire. We all saw the Matt Hardy stuff several years ago and I can't get too excited these days about a weekend Friday the 13th project.


ER: The show underwhelmed and underdelivered, but Asuka/Banks gave us a really good 15 minutes and McIntyre/Ziggler was an unexpectedly strong showing. Rey had a great performance in a weird situation, and other than the Swamp Fight the floor was high. But the show also felt a lot longer than it actually was. And that kind of speaks to the weirdness of this show. A show with a strong men's title match, a strong women's match, and a great Rey performance feels like a show I'd leave behind fondly. And yet we're here.

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WrestleMania 36 Night 1 Live Blog

ER: So I admittedly haven't been very engaged by the empty arena era. Wrestling is obviously better with a crowd (duh), and I wasn't actually expecting most of the WWE roster to be so bad at working in this new environment. This was a unique forced opportunity to do something weird with your style and change up your act in different ways, show your personality when your voice can be heard louder than ever, and instead most of them have responded by just pretending there is a crowd. Bryan, Asuka, maybe a couple of others have adapted well to the empty arena, but that's it. BUT, there are a lot of intriguing matches on the card, so let's see how it goes.


Cesaro vs. Drew Gulak

ER: I loved this, the absolute coolest way to do a short match. Gulak had the brilliant Bryan match (what feels like a lifetime ago now) and this had some of his strongest ringwork that I have ever seen. I have watched a LOT of Drew Gulak matches and not only was he breaking out tricks I've never seen from him before, every single thing he did was extremely tight. This was work that would make Finlay jealous. He had several awesome counters and reversals, including a gorgeous crossface reversal out of a Gotch piledriver. Gulak really showed off his underrated clothesline, sending Cesaro over the top to the floor and hitting a great flying clothesline off the apron (the diving clothesline is one of the hardest clotheslines to make look great, and this felt on the level of Daisuke Ikeda's diving lariat). He even does a trippy armdrag reversal on the floor off a Cesaro tombstone attempt, reminding me he was co-trained by Skayde. I love how heavily Gulak flew into everything, getting shaken by a Cesaro uppercut, and the way Gulak flew into it from the top rope make it look like he didn't know he was about to eat an uppercut. It's that extra level of committing to a move, to get thudded with a harder shot to commit to the realism. Cesaro also rewards him with the best elbow strike of the match (and surely the show), really putting over who has the power here.  I liked how on top of Cesaro he was, in the way he was constantly working for something in any second of potential downtime. Seeing a match like this and you become aware of how much some guys lie around nearly every time they hit the mat. Here Gulak takes any pin for or against him to take advantage of the prone Cesaro. Cesaro getting pinned and using the kickout to float over into a Fujiwara was logic that exposes the rest of the brand as resting on their laurels, and I loved how effectively he worked that crossface. Cesaro deserves a ton of credit for how well he played into Gulak's work, selling perfectly for all the holds and reversals but also expertly staying in position for all of it, occupying himself so realistically. The sudden explosive Cesaro finish worked for me, him realizing he won't shake the tenacious Gulak so just using his one real advantage - his crazy power - to muscle him up, disorient him, show off his traps and his balance, and then drive him hard to the mat. I loved every second of this.

PAS: This was really great stuff, it feels like given 14 minutes or so and an actual audience, these guys could have a match as good as Bryan vs. Gulak. Really makes me want to find whatever Ant Gulak was vs. Claudio from Chikara. Man Gulak was killer on the mat here, just constantly looking for an approach to grab and twist an arm, such a cool way to have a mat based match with very little time to do it in. Very weird that a guy is coming into his mat wrestling prime during his WWE stint. Cesaro was awesome as a guy whose power cannot be contained even with a bad wing. Empty arena wrestling is still weird and unsatisfying for me, but this is how you work around constraints.


ER: Until that video package I had no idea how - except for Willie Nelson - WWE has exclusively used black performers for America the Beautiful at WrestleMania. And I was weirdly into the overly long and bizarre show intro, which felt like Asylum making their version of Aquaman.


Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross vs. Asuka/Kairi Sane

ER: This was one of the matches I was excited for, partly because Asuka has been one of the only people who has taken advantage of the empty arena to do different things. She seems to genuinely enjoy the chance to be a goofball in this environment, and I love the way Sane plays her runty second. And this was good! I loved Kabuki Warriors all throughout, with Sane mocking Cross and Bliss when she shouldn't and always paying for it, while Asuka talked trash and danced and then would land a nice forearm or knee (her hiptoss into a knee strike on Bliss was so great, and made even better by her knowing look into the camera after). Bliss and Cross had good energy to counter, especially Bliss who really felt like she was flying into everything at top speed. Her Twisted Bliss moonsault to break up Asuka's rear naked choke was awesome, really crashing hard on Asuka (and, well, Nikki), and the one that pinned Sane was accidentally nasty as she landed right across Sane's legs. I think this would have played really well in front of a crowd, and it felt like Cross wasn't really as animated here as she's been the past few months. I'm sure a crowd would have helped with that as well. I didn't want Kabuki Warriors to win and would have rather had them cheat to retain, to keep the program going a bit and test the Cross/Bliss partnership.


Baron Corbin vs. Elias

ER: Elias just shows up after taking a "flat back bump" off the top of a cherry picker and Cole just going "well we weren't sure he would show up but he's here!" is so silly. And this is a match everyone is going to dump on, but I thought Corbin was good all things considered. He works better in a crowd setting, as you can real feel the disgust and apathy and it can kind of lend itself to a better match. But his work looked strong, loved the way he pinballed hard for a big Elias mule kick, hit a couple hard lariats. He's still been the only person who can credibly pull off the Boss Man type slide before, and there have been several people who have been trying that one since the internet all apparently watched that match. I didn't care about any part of the story personally, as it all seemed very out of sync with itself. Elias gets shoved off a landing to potential serious injury, comes out (still booked even though they said they didn't know he would show), blasts Corbin with a guitar...but then basically gets his ass kicked for a big portion of the match. Still, Corbin is going to get crap for his performance, and he shouldn't.


Shayna Baszler vs. Becky Lynch

ER: Baszler is someone who seems to benefit from the empty arena, as you can really hear how hard she's smacking Lynch. Best case scenario from Baszler with no crowd is that you might hear some mean shots land with that same echo you'd hear on a sub-100 attendance Futen show. And this is really great. I would have liked it to go several more minutes and for Lynch to actually build a bigger comeback. I suppose it depends on if they get another match, but having a heel like Shayna toss around and wreck the champ all match while the champ escapes with a leveraged pin still feels like something that should continue the program. It doesn't make Lynch feel like a strong champ or babyface if she just wants to move onto someone new without actually definitively beating Baszler, so we'll see. Shayna did get that great Futen echo on her strikes, and I loved the way she treated Lynch like a kid sister she was roughhousing with. I loved that thump of her strikes, and things like manhandling Lynch up and slamming her into an armbar or swinging her into the announce table played great. I loved how dominant she worked and how Lynch was barely scraping out of match ending moments. We've seen Baszler get beat several times by this same kind of pin, flipped over from her choke, and on a show like this you'd think it would have been cool to show that she's finally learned to counter that counter after it causing her so many losses. That's a really weird mental gap that should have been solved by now. I wasn't expecting the Shayna win, and I like this finish if it furthers the program. But I'm really not sure why it would.


Daniel Bryan vs. Sami Zayn

ER: Okay, people on this show are working stiff to take advantage of the arena acoustics and I am 100% okay with that. Bryan looked like he was trying to murder Zayn, all of his regular offense looked like it was landing 20% harder than normal. This Gulak/Bryan partnership is really pushing both of these guys to new heights. How special is that? I was into all of the early Zayn stalling and running because not only does Bryan play well off of that kind of thing, but I was also confident it would lead to Bryan unleashing hell on Zayn. Bryan is so believably irked by Zayn that it really adds to the match, and the stiffness puts it over the top. Bryan's kicks and grounded strikes were so good, but by the time he built up to stomping repeatedly through Zayn's face while holding his arms, he was just over the top insanely stiff. Zayn wasn't going to just take it, and he came back with a great follow through lariat (with Bryan trying to one up him not long after with one of his best flying elbow smashes). You knew there would be Cesaro and Nakamura interference, and I loved Bryan wiping both of them out with a big tope down the stretch. We did get another sudden finish, and really every singles match on this entire show has had a finish that has come without a ton of build or kickouts. Bryan of course flew hard into the helluva kick, but I wanted a little more time.

PAS: I haven't been watching much Zayn, but kind of weird he is working as Bobby Heenan now. Still Ultimate Warrior never beat Heenan this badly, Bryan was in full Finlay mode. I don't remember him ever throwing his kicks this hard, and that was the best ever head stomp spot I have seen him do, and he has been doing it forever. I agree that empty arena suits the guys who are best at just unleashing stiffness, and don't need a bunch of dramatics and chants. Bryan is straight up channeling FUTEN now (those crowds were pretty quiet too) which I am into. I would love to see what he would do with a guy who matches him in violence.


Kofi Kingston vs. Jimmy Uso vs. John Morrison

ER: It doesn't get much dumber than defending the tag titles in a 3 way singles match, but these are isolated times. Plus, it's probably not as dumb as these guys all taking ladder bumps with nobody live to react. But doing a bunch of dumb ladder spots to silence is kind of fun in a backyarder kind of way. It's not too hard to picture three teens falling off a picnic table in the public park closest to their home. Needs more of "friend filming everything reacting and distorting the mic audio. This had some genuinely great spots, and also a lot of messiness. Morrison especially looked klutzy early on, but seemed to get better as the match went on. He had a couple tough crashes into ladders, and I liked little moments like him getting a ladder pushed onto him but it landing so he came out unscathed in the middle (before eyepoking Uso). Aspiring to be ladder match Buster Keaton is more interesting than aspiring to be ladder match Shawn Michaels. I came away super impressed by Kofi. Kofi clearly got the picture from all the prior matches that stiffness was the flavor of the day, and I don't know if I've ever seen Kofi lay in shots the way he was here. His clubbing forearms were so great, you could see Morrison's back get redder as Kofi was beating him. Kofi also made his shots into the ladder look better than the others. Morrison was doing stunt falls that had little meaning behind them, and here's Kofi ramming himself at high speed into ladders and crashing hard, a simpler bump than the big spills from ring to floor but so much more effective. Uso even took what looked like an insane bump off a ladder to the floor, and it was barely focused on for two seconds. Uso himself basically shrugged it off to get in place for the finish. This felt too long (really feels like we haven't nailed the right time on any match so far, as everything has either felt too long or that it ended too suddenly), but I liked it more than I expected to like it. Finish was


Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Steen

ER: The Seth Rollins match is almost always the match I least look forward to on a PPV. I never care about his feuds, I never care about his matches, but I would rather see him in something like this than a title match epic. But even Rollins is working more stiff, and a Seth Rollins match focusing on some nice kicks (he had a couple soccer kicks to Owens shoulder that felt far stiffer than anything in a typical Rollins match) is going to be better than the modern Edge matches he usually works. His tope hit unusually hard, really crashing Owens back into the barricade, far different than his usual topes where he extends his arms to far ahead of him that it looks like he's trying to avoid contact of any kind. Owens bumps really rang out in the silence, and he had a major hand in making me more interested in Rollins, and still got to fire back with stuff, like his nice cannonball. I really liked the false finish, with Rollins braining Owens with the ringbell for the DQ. The silent building really does wonders for ringbell shots as the TANG of the bell resonates while you get a big THUNK from the wood that makes it sounds sturdy as hell. The change to a No DQ was a fun surprise, and the work after the change was even better. Rollins was really lacing into Owens with soccer kicks, and they came off painful in a way his stuff almost never comes off (except against Lesnar, who is someone who forces you into working stiff or else get run over), and we also get a couple more ringbell shots. Owens' revenge shot is great, and I really wish they had ended things with Owens just pulverizing Rollins. Instead, they lost me a bit with that big stunt fall off the sign. I didn't like the "How's this for a WrestleMania moment" call, felt really forced, and it took the shine off a big leaping elbow that actually looked great. The replay angles made it look less impressive, but the first shot was far back enough at an angle that it made it look like he was leaping really far. But they weirdly didn't cut to a replay in the aftermath, and instead held firm on both of them. Part of me was thinking "well I guess it's just part of their now played out direction style to just cut to a replay several times" but this time it felt like it needed that. Because instead, we just heard Seth Rollins making risible old man orgasm sounds for an exceedingly long time. Those sounds started making me snort laugh and then I was out of what had been a surprisingly nice ass kicking. Still, even with those old man pleasure sounds, this shot way past my expectations.


Braun Strowman vs. Goldberg

ER: I was actually excited for Reigns/Goldberg. I was fairly optimistic that both are smart enough workers that they would have put together something smart and really fun. Seeing Reigns eat a spear while up for a Superman punch would have ruled, and I hope we get to see it at some point (though there is less reason to do so now). Braun is a fine replacement but the match needed an extra twist to make it work. This was 2 minutes and okay, and I think with 1 more minute it could have been memorable. It needed at least one more miss from either guy, a 1-2-1 or a 1-2-1-2, and instead we just got a 1-2. Goldberg hit some great spears, Braun hit some nice powerslams. We needed one little surprise, and it was explosive enough even with the short runtime, that a couple of extra beats would have made it much more memorable.


AJ Styles vs. Undertaker

ER: So, I loved this. This was SO MUCH BETTER than a brutal 20 minute empty arena "regular" wrestling match. That would have been abysmal. Over the last decade the only way to get something interesting out of Undertaker has been by having him take a beating against a larger than life figure. You had him getting dumped on his head by Goldberg last year in an extremely fun old man scrap, and several years ago we got the all time great Hell in a Cell match against Brock (which is our #3 match of 2015, and was #1 for a bit). Those matches saw Taker against two larger than life men and felt like genuine dream matches with high ceilings. A 55 year old Taker against Styles didn't feel like a match with a similar high ceiling for me, and since nobody was telling us what a Boneyard Match was I was left to my nightmare visions of the Sting/Vampiro Graveyard Match.

But this felt better than the TNA Broken Hardys stuff, and it felt better than the similar stuff that Lucha Underground did. This was much more like a late VHS era straight to video release, like you went to the video store and found a 1999 Lance Henriksen supernatural biker action movie that you didn't know existed. Or like when you found out that there was a third Prophecy movie in 2000 and not only still had Christopher Walken but also Brad Dourif. The match could have benefitted from a character actor cameo (Mark Boone Junior feels like a guy who could have been affordable, just have him ride in with Taker and then toss him a pistol or something later). It used sound FX far better than Lucha Underground (which seemingly only had one SLAP effect and one bone crunching effect. It also looked like, even with the added FX, that Taker wasn't risking it and laying in big right hands to AJ. Taker kept relying on that right hand and I loved when eventually he was surrounded by druid goons, he just kept turning and punching guys with that hand. No blade attacks, no weapons, just a right hand. This had the cool outdoor bumps that other similarly filmed spectacles have had, and the actual brawling between Taker and AJ had more in common with the Regal/Finlay Parking Lot Brawl than with the awful Graveyard Match or even the Hardy Boys stuff. The twists were all fun, the spills into open graves looked good, and you KNEW there was going to be a tombstone with AJ Styles' name on it. AJ fell all over this graveyard and haunted barn, tossed onto old wood and crashing through fences. I thought all of those effects looked good, like the druids breaking through the barn (which had the proper horror lighting) or the two of them breaking through a fence. I mentioned Lance Henriksen earlier and some of these overhead shots looked like the land where Pumpkinhead was filmed, and it was lit the same way as the final showdown with Pumpkinhead. And yet this did not set unreasonable Pumpkinhead hopes, because everything they had done had been cool in its own way. Within their own canon I think this came off even better than something like the crazy street fight violence of the Hollywood Backlot Brawl, and instead of Piper breaking his hand on Goldust's face we got Taker cutting his arm on a window and AJ yelling about a broken finger. This whole thing was a ton of fun and again, SO MUCH BETTER than any "normal" match we could have had between them.


So I thought this show was great. The matches I absolutely did not care about (Rollins/Owens and Styles/Taker) WAY overdelivered, and you also had Gulak/Cesaro and Bryan/Zayn (added to our 2020 Ongoing MOTY List) that came off impressively violent and cool. This whole thing was more than enjoyable, it kept me entertained the whole way through, and these days it doesn't always take much to make me lose my concentration. I'll come back tomorrow to do the 2nd half, although it has some BIG damn shoes to fill.

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Much Later Than Live NXT TakeOver: WarGames 11/23/19

I had a co-worker's 50th birthday party to attend earlier in the evening, so couldn't get a reasonable start to this one. But it's not tooooo late and I'm all partied out, so let's see if this WarGames is going to be decent.


Rhea Ripley/Candice LeRae/Tegan Nox/Dakota Kai vs. Bianca Belair/Kay Lee Ray/Io Shirai/Shayna Baszler

ER: I really was not feeling Candice in the opening minutes of this, didn't think most of her offense looked good; but I really enjoyed everything being done to Candice, and that's important. Shirai boots her with a big missile dropkick, Belair cracks her with an elbow, powerbombs her several times, throws her into the cage with LeRae sliding uncomfortably down the metal, really everything done to punish LeRae works. But once Ripley gets in, takes a long time grabbing the same exact weapons you've seen for decades now, we build to several dumb uses of them. I think your work should be able to stand alone in a match like War Games, and going to trash can shots and propping up chairs and having everybody make increasingly stupid decisions to get into a big tower in the corner, just comes off lazy. Even when the end result is LeRae getting the back of her head whipped into a pile of chairs,  it still feels like they spent way too much time on dumb bullshit. I didn't anticipate the Kai turn, but I also am not an avid TV follower and Kai has never done much for me anyway. I do like how Kai kept running back to repeatedly attack Nox. Belair is I think the only person making strikes and weapon shots mean something. There has been a comical amount of bad hockey fight spots in the match, and here's Belair finding three different cool ways to make a trashcan look dangerous. Belair is really the mega star of this match, and it's kind of crazy how much of a non-factor Shayna was after getting into the ring. Shayna is in the ring for 2 minutes and then sells on the mat for the next 10. But Belair just won't quit, she's whipping the hell out of Ripley, jumping around like she's getting swarmed by ants at a picnic when LeRae is whipping her, in with a great nearfall save, tasked with catching Shirai on an ill-advised top of cage moonsault, Belair was just EVERYTHING in this match. Mauro Ranallo was expectedly unbearable, and my least favorite Mauro moment is when he described a "top rope avalanche poison rana" by LeRae as "desperate". I will not be able to understand how doing a move that you have done before, here performing it when your opponent gave you the opening and it could lead to a win, is "desperate". Shitting your pants and smearing Kay Lee Ray with your own shit would be a desperate move. That is the move of someone with zero options left. But performing a complicated reverse rana? That seems like someone very much in control of things. Shayna stopped selling long enough to lose the match, just a bizarre misuse of her, but Belair's performance made me overall like this match despite not liking a TON of directions this mess went.

Damian Priest vs. Killian Dain vs. Pete Dunne

ER: This was a much too long 3 way that had the problems nearly every 3 way has, and could have ended earlier after a few specific spots and been better for it. I'm a Damian Priest novice and will probably opt to stay that way. Priest feels like a better version of Matt Taven, which means he is a worse version of just about anyone else. He's not good at occupying himself, forced Dunne and Dain into unlikely scenarios just to get his shit in (most egregious is Dain having to get up way too quick so he can be ready for Priest's spinny kicks), he's the guy who is always too early or too late to his marks. Dain had a real nice match, kind of got stuck in the thankless role of getting shunted aside so we can continue to watch Dunne/Priest have zero chemistry together, or have his very good offense shrugged off early so we can get to more stupidly chained 3 way moments. But Dain had cool stuff, leveled Priest with a dive, did a bombs away on Priest while hitting a Michinoku Driver on Dunne, and was the guy who was actually bringing something a little rough edged to the dance fighting of Priest and Dunne. The finish I thought was pretty dumb, with Dunne getting Dain in a backpack choke, leading Dain to leap onto Priest while wearing Dunne...but then Dunne just shoves Dain away and gets the pin. This match was filled with moments of "Wait why is that guy selling so long...wait why is that guy selling nothing at all?" (much like that War Games we just sat through) but damn did that finish come off dumb as hell to me.

Matt Riddle vs. Finn Balor

ER: I dug a bunch of this, while this also made this the third ending of the night that I just really did not like at all. I haven't read what anyone else has said about this show, but I cannot fathom logging on tomorrow to find out the rest of the internet thought this was a night of the sickest finishes. These matches finishes have been fucking terrible to me. I liked too much of this to shit talk too much, as these two were super complementary wrestlers breaking out some wild stuff in their first ever match of any kind opposite each other. I really dug all the submission stuff, and liked how Balor was actually lacing in some nasty stuff to rub Riddle's face into it. That baseball slide dropkick was just plain mean, and we even got a very special All Japan Comm Tape slo mo shot of Riddle's mouth going all rubber face mask after eating that boot. Now, it left me a little cross when Balor sent that boot straight into Riddle's teeth, but then bumped noticeably early the first time Riddle went for a big kick. I mean you gotta give and get, and luckily Riddle made him pay with some nice throws (his early Karelin lifts will always look cool), and I like how he just showed Balor how shit his German was by hopping up, hitting that V trigger, then dumping him with his own German. Riddle catching a Pele kick was probably my favorite part of the match, as it turned into an actually good ankle lock sequence, something I could have actually bought as the finish - and would have loved for it to be the actual finish. Riddle caught that Pele kick perfectly, twisted that ankle, sent an axe kick down into Balor's kidneys, grabbed the other ankle when Balor gave it to him, and I just really wanted that to end things. Balor was actively good at selling that ankle, and I even got into all the performative shit like Balor coming up lame while getting thrown into the ropes, because Balor was actually doing it really well! Now, obviously, that ankle selling went WAY out the window when it came time for Balor to do a double stomp of the top, and...I can't speak for everyone here, but I, if I was limping badly on an ankle, unable to even run, able to put no weight on it....and then I was given the opportunity to jump as high into the air as I could, and stick a landing right on my Kerri Strug'd ankle...I probably wouldn't take it. But Balor cannot WAIT to jump as hard as he can right onto that ankle, a man literally incapable of coming up with ANY other offense to do to Riddle, a man so set in his ways that he is obviously going to just jump into the air and land upright. I don't think Balor needed to win this match, and I didn't like that he did, and I didn't like the stupid double stomp because man what the fuck.

Roderick Strong/Kyle O'Reilly/Bobby Fish/Adam Cole vs. Keith Lee/Donovan Dijakovic/Tommaso Ciampa/Kevin Owens

ER: This came off like a big, bloated, overly dangerous indy War Games, and I mean that in a good way. I like the regional indy flair it had: An oafish giant, an anti-hero team captain wearing weird facepaint, a big man taking stiff shots to the side of his cinderblock dome, guys going through tables at awkward angles, and just the way the big moments kept inching up bigger and bigger, bumps getting dumber and harder. Some of the prop set up was too focused and mapped, but at times it added to the cheap charm of them being big stage backyarders pushing their limit. I really loved the first 5 minutes, Ciampa vs. Strong. I thought the match did get weaker once we got the tables integrated, but the first 5 minutes were those two really laying in stiff strikes and constantly pushing pace. Ciampa hits a wicked kneelift after tying Strong up in the corner, and it was the start of a really great match long performance for Ciampa. Keith Lee is a super fun wrecking ball, takes a few big ass bumps, and deals with multiple moments of Undisputed teeing off on the side of his head. Lee is a great Hulk to sit there and be slowed by hard shots to the ear. Owens got a good reaction and seemed to feed off it, turning in a real spirited performance with dangerous bumps, including my actual favorite use ever of Adam Cole's bunny hop flipping piledriver. I really loved the struggle the two of them went through, fighting on the metal plate joining the two rings, like they were fighting on a stadium's catwalk in a Bond movie or something, and they way they fought over it I had no clue who was going to be dumped on their head. It went long, but it felt like it ramped nicely, felt closer to real epic than faux epic.


ER: I really didn't like the finishes of the first three matches, but the PPV ended on a decent note for me because I liked each subsequent match more than the last. I was majorly disappointed in the women's War Games - fantastic Bianca performance aside - and the three way felt clunky during all the Priest/Dunne moments. Riddle/Balor was very fun for much of the duration, and the main event delivered better than I was hoping. So it kept getting more enjoyable as it went on, which will make it seem better than it was in hindsight. But it was still one of the weaker TakeOvers I've watched.

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WWE Stomping Grounds Live Blog 6/23/19

ER: I don't know a ton about this card, only know the early online "WWE is dying and putting on terrible cards!" vulture chat. I write up all these damn things, and usually it's these kind of under the radar cards that end up delivering, whether its because of the low expectations of me the viewer or the wrestlers themselves knowing there are low expectations. Either way, let's hope for some good wrestling to kill time with until I gotta watch Meryl Streep's weird ass fake teeth.

Akira Tozawa vs. Drew Gulak vs. Tony Nese

ER: This definitely starts out as Gulak and Tozawa working a Tony Nese match, which I understand that's how this was likely to go. Nese is the champ, you work the champ's stupid match. I'd much rather see them just running a Tozawa/Gulak match, or Nese vs. Gulak, or Nese vs. Tozawa, but we get the worst option and it's fine. Gulak and Tozawa are GOOD at working a Tony Nese match, so it works. Nese even wears 205 Live colored gear which...feels like I hate Tony Nese. But after they got the early dance party out of their system, this settled into a really exciting 3 way. Pretty much from the moment Tozawa hit his great high impact cannonball off the apron into Gulak, I was on board. It was very "I hit this guy into that guy and that guy winds up suplexing me into the first guy" but I thought they were mostly good at avoiding dumb waiting around set-ups. This got into some pure fire territory when Gulak sunk in a nasty dragon sleeper on Nese, with his ankles locked tight in a rough body vice. Nese kept breaking out in various ways forcing Gulak to adjust the hold as his own limbs would break free, totally great way to advance drama throughout one submission. And then, with the absolutely best exclamation point, Tozawa flew from out of nowhere with a heavy ass hell senton off the top, right into Nese, with Gulak underneath. Great involvement of all three guys. Tozawa was really fun here, and really he always is. He's a guy I hope lingers under the radar on the roster for a decade, like Funaki. He's already almost 3 years in! His solo stuff with Gulak is fun, loved his exchange with Nese that ended with him popping Nese in the jaw with a right, he took a cool backwards bump falling off the apron, just a great guy to put in matches like this. I wish they let Gulak tee off on Nese a little more, but I'm too genuinely excited for Drew Gulak: Cruiserweight Champion to much care. Gulak has been nothing but great during his WWE run, and I'm so happy that it will presumably start paying off with more feature matches. This match got better the longer it went, I thought, as we started feeling like a 6 minute rush job and we instead got a fun 12 minute fireworks show.

Becky Lynch vs. Lacey Evans

ER: This was messy, but in a way that I think benefitted the match. Lacey doesn't have great application on everything, but the story of her just attacking Lynch's stomach was more than enough, as Lacey was really good on every single shot she threw to the stomach. When a match has a ton of someone punching and kicking at someone's stomach, that's a cool thing I'm going to enjoy. I think it was also a really smart way to get around having Lacey do more complicated offense, just have her able to cut off Lynch with a low punch to the gut or wrapping her around a ringpost or jamming her boot in Lynch's ribs. I liked Lacey fighting to get out of the Disarm-her, and like how Lynch would throw her around (although Lynch did a few of her really dumb extended Woody Allen reactions after an Evans kickout, sitting there and doing this stupid stammering "Um well, yes, I guess, um, well, you see, I thought that would, gulp, thought that would get the, heh, you see, the pin" face. It's awful). They really push the pace in this too, and so the kind of messy moments combined with the fast pace gave this a cool runaway train vibe. I wish Lynch would have paid more lip service to her worked over stomach, but I liked this.

Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens vs. Big E/Xavier Woods

ER: They're keeping everything on this show at 10-12 minutes so far, and I think that benefits everyone. No guarantee we keep it that way, but three matches in and it's turned this into a fun, quick moving card. We get a long FIP segment from Woods, with both Zayn and Owens being really fun in their roles of taunting Big E on the apron. Owens especially would stomp on Woods' face, then look over at E holding his face and mocking him. But I also like how Owens and Zayn went for quick pinfalls right out of the gate, throwing out superkicks and sentons and cannonballs and a big Owens top rope splash. Obviously the Big E hot tag was going to be great, he's always been awesome and running through people in quick order, with Zayn right in the line of belly to belly suplex fire. Nothing on this show has hit next level, but it has made the show highly watchable, and that's really all I care about in the end.

Ricochet vs. Samoa Joe

ER: We've hardly seen any Joe vs. Ricochet, almost all of their matches have been on house shows, so this has a cool fresh feeling to it. This match really felt like they gave people the match they would want to see. It got tons of time, and both guys did their cool stuff against a new opponent, and Ricochet got a big ol' clean win! This is all crowd pleasing stuff! And, perhaps not surprisingly, the crowd has been making genuine noise all damn night. That's a good sign! They also threw in a bunch of slo mo replays, so it gave parts of the match a "AJPW 1995 Comm Tape" feel to it that I will always love. Ricochet taking a uranage on his shoulders? Great. Seeing an All Japan sweat flying off bodies slo mo replay? Impossibly better. Joe hitting a hard elbow? Awesome. All Japan slo mo of floppy haired Joe channeling floppy haired Misawa and crushing Ricochet with an elbow while sweat flies off? Impossibly better. This was what I assume everyone wanted. Joe hitting all of his classic Joe offense in classic fashion (really loved him hitting a big German suplex and turning around and laying him out with a lariat), Ricochet landing his flying moves where they were supposed to land (though he kind of whiffed on a springboard elbow). I do think they really front-loaded the Joe offense as Ricochet felt a little bit too Superman coming back after all of this beating. I wish they could have kept him a little more in this over the length of the match.

Heavy Machinery vs. Daniel Bryan/Erick Rowan

ER: Fans going nuts for home state boy Bryan is fun to see, and continues the trend of the crowd starting loud for this show and getting louder. I am far more excited for this match than I should be, as Bryan vs. Otis is a match-up I can't help but get excited for. Otis is someone I'm really happy is on the roster, the type of shape that just hasn't been around enough lately (I mean his shape is plenty around, but you know what I mean). Otis' arms are shaped exactly like his legs, he has cool strength, and he seems like a great unique partner for Bryan. And I'm not wrong, as the Otis/Bryan moments are incredibly fun. The whole match is incredibly fun! This is another fresh match and it leads to a ton of new cool stuff. I could watch Bryan kick away at Otis's pork barrel chest all damn day, and Bryan throws more kicks on Otis in this match than any match this year, and Otis hits a big damn press slam, big powerslam on Rowan, big capture suplex on Bryan, the big high angle sitout powerbomb on Bryan was awesome, he passes off a vertical suplex to Tucker, and  - even though the fans are booing Heavy Machinery the whole match (and I loved that Otis was somehow getting the most heat of the night so far) - he still did that damn worm. Tucker showed a ton of agility I didn't realize he had, there was this killer early moment where he somersaulted over Bryan to get into position to lariat him out of his boots, and later he missed a big moonsault, took a big bump over the top to the floor, and was a part of a neat double team powerslam on Bryan. I do wish they would have made slight alterations to the match structure once it was so obvious that the crowd was going to treat Bryan like the face and HM like the heels, it made things a little silly when Tucker was fighting to the Otis hot tag while the crowd booed. Still Otis clearly knew what was going on and made a bunch of faces to show that he was just rubbing it in to the fans. His dorky chunkster hype movements while Bryan was lacing kicks into his chest made me laugh, and I just thought the pairing was insanely entertaining the whole match.

Alexa Bliss vs. Bayley

ER: This one didn't do much for me. Bliss worked too long and too dry a control segment, and Bayley's comebacks often leave me flat as they can look clumsy and revolve way too much around her opponent getting into an unnatural series of positions to take her specifically ordered offense. There were good moments, dug Bayley taking out Cross with a dive, dug Bliss hitting knees on the rotating splash, but this was pretty dry overall. This was the first match on the card I couldn't get into.

Drew McIntyre vs. Roman Reigns

ER: This show appears to be dying fast after a legitimately fun and exciting first couple hours, as this is filled to the brim with Shane interference, none of which is interesting. It really chumps McIntyre when he not only can't put Roman away, but has to also get out of the way while Shane does his thing, and still can't beat Roman. It's not a very satisfying match structure. Just like the prior match, there were some exciting moments: Roman hit one of those big Undertaker no hands dive (and he gets nutso height), but this all felt too predictable, and it spent too much time propping up a feud I have no interest in.


ER: And with that, I'm sad to say that I have already filled my life's quota of Dolph Ziggler/Kofi Kingston matches. We've been seeing 10 minute + singles matches from these two for literally a decade, sometimes enduring stretches of TV where they were happening every other week, and they do not have anything new to add to their match story. And there is no chance I'm going to sit through a Seth Rollins main event when I can be watching a bananas new season of Luther. I had a great time with the stuff I liked, and I pulled the plug by using common wrestling sense. Bless.

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I Forgot WWE Money in the Bank Was Today Blog! 5/19/19

Got it in my head that this thing was happening next weekend, went on a nice jog during the breaks in the rain, hot shower, cozy pants, sitting down with coffee and Phil texts me if I'm gonna write up the PPV. Crap. I had been planning on watching a Death Wish sequel, a couple Beyond matches, and the Schitt's Creek finale I've been saving...but let's dive in blindly to Money in the Bank!

Daniel Bryan/Erick Rowan vs. The Usos

ER: Pretty genuinely surprised that this wound up on the pre-show. Now, I don't actually know what the rest of this card is (been only skimming through TV the past several weeks, and now that I'm watching it's more fun to just see what happens), so maybe it will knock my socks off! And this whole thing delivered the usually fun pre-show match quality, but with these guys it should have been way better than that. It was good, it was fun, but it really wasn't that much more fun than if we had gotten a Mojo Rawley/No Way Jose 8 minute match. The timing looked just slightly off throughout, things like one of the Usos leaping far out of the way to set up Bryan catching him in an armbar, or Bryan arriving at the edge of the ropes and having to wait a split second to be hit by the double superkick, Usos double splash finish looking ugly with both guys landing more on their feet than landing the splash, just felt like a lot of this was worked at 75%. There were cool moments - hard not to be with these guys - and Bryan pretty clearly looks like the best wrestler in the company right now. I liked Rowan catching both of the Usos on dives, thought each Uso took a nice big bump, but this underdelivered expectations from these four.

Naomi vs. Carmella vs. Nikki Cross vs. Mandy Rose vs. Ember Moon vs. Dana Brooke vs. Natalya vs. Bayley

ER: Everybody has new gear which is cool as I don't even remember people having notably cool new gear at Mania. Was their seamstress running behind? Naomi in the afro puffs and bumblebee look is fantastic, she pulls it off so well. I really, really love that gear and look on her. And Carmella is finally out of the Baywatch swimsuit and into a money two piece. This whole match is somewhat sloppy, a little disjointed, but they went for a ton of shit, tried out some cool new shit, and tried to be a little unique with the concept. Not all of the spots worked, some of them felt way too choreographed (stuff like Carmella holding the ladder too long waiting for Mandy to kick her knee out (and the extremely awkward aftermath of that spot, with Carmella weirdly shoving her away with one arm and saying "get away from meeeee" like they were two kids play fighting and one actually got hurt), or Dana Brooke reaching right over the briefcase to grab the rope because the spot was for her to swing from it, that stuff never looks good and I hate when we see the end of the sequence telegraphed by the process. But the painful stuff was painful and the cool stuff was cool. Mandy Rose took a couple big nasty bumps, one over the top to the apron to the floor, the other getting kicked off a ladder; Sonya Deville came in to fireman's carry Mandy up the ladder, and that looked awesome; Ember hit the Eclipse off a ladder into the ring, Nikki does a nice version of Finlay's ring skirt trap beatdown, Naomi took a painful as hell atomic drop bump on a ladder, Mandy ran up a set up ladder to hit a knee in the end, tons of cool stuff. Overall I thought it was too mapped out and a little messy, but it was an appropriate length, and fun! And Bayley could make for a fun title chaser.

Rey Mysterio vs. Samoa Joe

ER: Man are we ever gonna actually get a total badass match between these two? This is a genuine dream match and we've gotten a pointless Mania match, a rushed Raw match, and now an even more rushed PPV match. This was more angle than match, with Joe getting legit busted open by a shot and then getting pinned fairly quickly while his shoulder was nowhere close to the match. It's pretty lame to have them both wildly celebrating a late career Mysterio title win, while also getting thoughtful Michael Cole voice saying "You now Samoa Joe has a legitimate beef about that pin." This match needed Dominick to take a real shit kicking. Instead we got Cole saying weird things like "He's making Rey's teenage son watch his father get beat!" First, Mysterio's large ass adult son has to be in his 20s by now, old enough to foolishly run in to help his dad. We've had Miz's dad eat a beating, Dominick needs to get busted open. If you don't want to have Dominick eating a beating on the same show where that happened in a different feud, then what is the point of even debuting Dominick at this point? What we got of a match was fine, these two are nice dance partners, but we just didn't have the time to make it very interesting.

Shane McMahon vs. The Miz

ER: I really enjoyed their Mania match, thought the stunt spots were genuinely nutty and built too nicely. Having them fight in a cage kind of contains the stunt aspect more than I'd like, but they bring good energy to this. Shane is a fun stuntman, but here he shows that he's a fun cornered animal. I was fully expecting him to work a fully equal match, because for whatever reason Shane is always treated like an equal. But here he comes in playing desperate strategy, scrambling for escape any way he can. I do like the moments where he can't help himself but always pays for it, even if Miz catching him on the coast to coast was kind of awkward. Miz unleashing actual punishment was really good, with Cole calling him a sadist (which is a weird thing to have your announcer saying about your babyface who isn't doing a heel turn) as he beats Shane with a chair. I was hoping they'd end it like this, with Miz getting some revenge and dropping him face first on a chair. But they opted to go a pretty stupid route instead, as they apparently think the hot way to draw fans into this PPV is some refs making mistakes! The ref stops the match when Shane gets his foot on the ropes, even though it's a No DQ cage match. Two matches in a row where a ref mistake changes the outcome of a match is just stupid, uninteresting, and lazy. That Shane eventually wins the match by dropping to the floor, ensuring the feud continues, was not what I wanted. This started very promising but didn't go in a direction anybody could have wanted.

Tony Nese vs. Ariya Daivari

ER: Damn this feels like a couple deep cut guys on the roster to be getting PPV time. I don't really have the time to watch 205 Live, but damn what is the state of that program? Tony Nese really stinks. This whole thing is ice cold (possibly by design) and Nese doesn't help any one soul in the building get warm. His prepared combos are so sloppy and shitty looking, he runs through this awful high kick/kneelift, leg sweep, leg drop combo that is so slow, and manages to look shittier literally each step of the way through the combo. Daivari has a couple more interesting things than I remembered. I liked his jab and a couple of his cheapshots, but he doesn't have anything interesting enough to make the crowd care about Tony Nese. We do eventually get a Boring chant, and it's stupid but not undeserved. Nese doesn't deserve cheers for his shitty elbow exchanges and slow kicks, all delivered with absolutely zero personality. Nese is such a zilch. Fans at least make a little noise for his flip dive and 450, but I actually laughed when it got a kickout. These guys are going for This Is Awesome Please Don't Stop epic without earning one damn ounce of it. I hate it but I kind of love it. The finishing stretch was nonsensical and cut short right when they decided to do some silly kickouts. Really this whole thing showed that neither of these guys are anywhere close to deserving PPV time. This was outright bad.

Lacey Evans vs. Becky Lynch

ER: I really have not been into any of the Lacey Evans stuff we've gotten so far, so this is a decent chance for her to win me over. I think I'm still upset that we never got the culmination of this exact same run for Eva Marie. I wasn't expecting any good matches from that, but I got a genuine kick out of the Eva Maria stuff. And Lacey looks if not great, interesting. Her arm work was nice, whipping Becky's arm into the match, wrapping it around a post, stomping on the wrist, kneeing the elbow, all of those are cool things. She threw a hard elbowdrop to the stomach, overall a nice attack. The crowd doesn't really seem to buy into her game though, and it makes for some pretty quiet control segments. Perhaps worse, is that Lacey doesn't eat a babyface beating very well. She is really stiff - not in a cool strikes kind of way, stiff as in "kind of a lug" - who doesn't bump excitedly for explosive offense, kinda just clunks her way over on big dropkicks, and always seems just slightly out of position. The finishing sequence building to the Disarm-her was messy and unconvincing, with another bizarrely out of place ref leading to the sequence looking even uglier than it should have. Was this a case of "refs call it like a shoot and the shoulder wasn't down" or have they not been instructing the refs to act like it's a shoot for a decade? This whole PPV has felt both cursed and like a curse over the past hour.

Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

ER: This could be a nice way to turn our misfortune around. This overall feud has had some unfortunate detours and misdirections, and has been a disappointment, but it still has high ceiling potential and it's always a possibility one of the matches could reach that ceiling. It doesn't really get to that ceiling, and is also kind of a dull mess. There were also several moments where one of them intentionally or unintentionally flinched out of the way of important strikes, so you got a few moments of sold strikes that ate a ton of air, including the kick that literally ended the match. That stuff is ugly as hell and the wrestlers need to be given the confidence to call audibles more often. The match didn't work to any interesting peak moments, was not memorable, and then it ALSO turns out it's even more of an angle than a match, as we get the full fan requested Bayley run in complete with her cashing in the briefcase.

Charlotte vs. Bayley

ER: This was at least memorable for the fans' legit large pop for the quick Bayley win. It would be a real kick if Bayley suddenly got a groundswell of support the way fans suddenly took to Kofi. I would love if the end result of all of this fairly botched Becky/Charlotte feud is Bayley becoming as popular as Becky was a year ago. Bayley running through the crowd was a genuinely fun moment.

Elias vs. Roman Reigns

ER: You guys I really don't like this PPV and I definitely would rather be listening to the angular guitar synth sounds of Jimmy Page while Paul Kersey takes down a sect of LA new wave gutter punks. I am starting to resent the PPV a little at this point. "Big Dog" Commentary Count: 3

AJ Styles vs. Seth Rollins

ER: This was not the match I was hoping for, when I was hoping for my luck to turn around. AJ has been a noticeable step down over the past year, and Rollins is arguably my least favorite guy on the roster. This just wasn't the match I wanted. It's a match that I'm very tired of. We haven't really seen these two in a match, but that's not what I'm mean, I mean that I'm tired of these Seth Rollins style fitness routine epics. This stuff is such soulless junk, I always wind up totally zoned out 5 minutes in. There were things that looked cool: AJ sets up a nutso piledriver off the apron and Rollins drops hard to his escape, Rollins hits his dive a little more recklessly (not as daintily) as he can, stuff like that. We get an actually AWESOME reverse suplex off the top, with Rollins whipping Styles with a low arc, making it look like AJ bounced right off his face. It was great and infinitely cooler than any other piece of Rollins' offense. So naturally it was used as a mid-match nearfall surprise. The missed and hit superkick tradeoffs look as silly and overdone as they usually look, and "The Beast Slayer! Looking to burn it down!" is so cringe that I don't even know if Manowar could make that sound cool. It certainly doesn't sound cool when describing Seth Rollins. This may have been a good version of "this match". It didn't go anywhere deep into overkill, even if I thought the layout was boring and predictable. That makes it at least an above average version of this match, but I'm tired of this song.

Lucha House Party vs. Lars Sullivan

ER: Pretty sure this match was booked as a Vince dogwhistle to trump showing he fully supports the burgeoning market of white guys with questionable tweets pushed too far and taking the matter of getting rid of brown people into his own hands.

Kevin Owens vs. Kofi Kingston

ER: I'm not expecting to really enjoy the "not against Daniel Bryan" portions of Kofi's title run, but we'll see. I don't have much skin in either of these guys, so it's tough for me to get into this, but they do well with the time they're given. Owens superkicking Kofi out of the sky on a big plancha to the floor looked cool, Owens took a big double stomp on the apron, Owens takes a big upside down bump in the corner and drops on his his, and more. This does continue the unfortunate trend of the night of every single match having an absolute dogshit do si do reversal sequence that looks like slow mo play fighting. Those sequences are really bugging me tonight, so things weren't perfect here. But it's probably the best match on the show since the MITB women's match, and that wasn't a particularly high bar.

Baron Corbin vs. Finn Balor vs. Ricochet vs. Andrade vs. Ali vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Randy Orton

ER: Within the first two minutes of this, Andrade takes a gorgeous Jerry bump, Ali gets backdropped on a table, Balor gets backdropped on a table, Ricochet hits a springboard 450 to the floor, and Ricochet gets backdropped on a table. This match feels like it knows it can definitively be the best of the night. They do a lot of big things here, and it consistently looks good and painful. Ali and Ricochet both eat backdrops onto ladders, and Andrade spectacularly springboard dropkicks Orton off a ladder. This has been a night where agents have laid out some real clunkers, so guys stepping in and having one of those fun WWE Heavyweight X Division matches is going to come off even better. WWE has a decent history of being able to do a "many guys chaining together offense" multiman, and this played like one of the good ones. Andrade hitting a sunset flip powerbomb on Finn off a ladder through another ladder - Andrade landing on his feet and Finn recoiling like a skinny kid getting bounced off a trampoline by two fat kids - was one of the most spectacular WWE spots of the last decade. That was WWE stealing the brilliant insanity from the Crazy Crusher vs. Hell Storm Canadian backyard ladder match. Ali, Balor, and Ricochet really sacrificed their backs for some cool moments tonight, all of them taking multiple back bumps onto ladders, onto the floor, and onto unbudging tables. Ricochet taking a mammoth hip toss from McIntyre, from the ring through a ladder set up at ringside really made this feel like we were getting an ECW match with 3 Spike Dudleys. Corbin is pretty good as modern Justin Credible, pushed cartoon rat faced heel who has been shaving his head for hairline reasons since late 20s getting a ton of go away heat. I would have preferred an actual finish with the guys involved, since really everybody here absolutely busted their ass and someone deserved some credit for that. But I also love Brock more than most people so I can't deny that I think he's a fun guy to be running around threatening to cash in briefcase. What an absolutely scary monster in the closet, knowing that Lesnar could run out at any time to potentially concuss someone! This match played a lot more like something you'd see on a dirty indy show, everyone taking some impressive risks and the fans really getting into it. This show desperately needed to go out on an exciting note, and this match delivered that.

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2018 Ongoing MOTY List: BRAUN/Lashley vs. Zayn/KO

34. Braun Strowman/Bobby Lashley vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens WWE Raw 4/23

ER: The double monster babyface tag team is a pretty hard thing to pull off, so this is basically worked like the Road Warriors pummeling John Tatum and Jack Victory, and while Zayn isn't Tatum and Owens isn't Victory, they take a mauling just fine. Zayn was the ultimate crash test dummy throughout, really great at putting over the beating by selling moves while taking other moves, Braun gets fully unleashed and both get slung around the ringside area while the fans go absolutely mad with GET THESE HANDS chants. I thought Sami was pretty great throughout and loved his smarmy face while punching Lashley and gleefully tagging in Owens, and Lashley was good at musclehead in peril, bumping to the floor and eating a big Owens senton. The moments preventing Lashley's hot tag were really good, with Zayn getting launched by a huge belly to belly but Owens still preventing the tag, Zayn leaping onto Lashley with a choke, Owens yanking Braun off the apron, all good stuff. Braun on the apron looked like a rodeo bull just waiting for his chance to buck around the arena, and his hot tag run was one for the ages: Constant motion, Owens gets plastered into the barricade, Zayn gets leveled with a lariat, insane running dropkick on the floor to Owens, Zayn trying to run away but getting dragged back, just a complete ass beating once Braun was unleashed. Smoldering crowd, fun tag teases, monsters running wild, just a total blast.

PAS: I have never been huge fans of Zayn or Owens, I was a low voter on Steen and Generico too, but I think they may have found their calling as a super Canadian version of the Rock and Roll RPM's. They just need an obnoxious Canadian Jim Cornette style manager, what is Tom Green doing these days? Zayn has a really great smirky heel charisma and just gets hurled around the ring with abandon, the height on that belly to belly was down right Pat Tanakian. I like the idea of Lashley and Strowman as a monster babyface tag team, although I have no idea what combo of heels that would look credible against them, maybe Brock and Big Show? What is Nathan Jones doing these days?


2018 MOTY MASTER LIST

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WWE Survivor Series 2017 Live Blog

"We were all picked essentially at random to be on the brand that we're on, and nobody talks about brand loyalty except for one month out of the year...but tonight, that brand loyalty MEANS SOMETHING for reasons."

1. Elias vs. Matt Hardy

ER: It's so strange to be running a match when the arena is maybe 20% full, feels like those opening card UFC fights where you're hearing individual voices from the crowd and everything is echoing. I think Matt Hardy matches that leave him to sell a specific limb almost always deliver, so I like Elias going after the arm, running the shoulder into the buckle, and breaking out an awesome leaping kneedrop to the arm. The crowd is sparse, but quietly getting into a Hardy comeback, and Elias' double underhook shoulderbreaker is pretty cool, but probably should have been treated as a bigger deal. This never really hits a new level, though. Hardy gets a comeback with the side effect on the apron, but Hardy is moving really slowly these days so even his comeback doesn't feel very exciting. I still like his injury selling, and he takes the post shot great, snaps over on Elias' fishermans suplex neckbrearker, but this was mostly an extended Elias squash.

2. Kalisto vs. Enzo Amore

ER: Crowd is still slowly filling in but my are they silent for this one. Enzo is at least good for a couple dumb bumps a match, and he really whips the back of his head into the mat on that code red, and Kalisto hits a cool rolling death valley driver that I don't think I've seen. Enzo's offense looks pretty bad, that falling boot offense almost always looks dumb. Kalisto gets yanked into the buckle really nicely, but this was nothing to blog home about.

3. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens vs. Breezango

ER: I don't follow the backstage news as much anymore, but I heard something about Owens and Zayn getting sent home from a tour, and here they are opposite Breezango on a pre-show. And the two of them really lock in those chinlocks. Breeze this rows a nice back elbow but he's mostly in there building to Fandango's hot tag, and his hot tag is good! I liked Fandango's hot jabs and his run up the buckles tornado DDT was nice. Owens finishes with a real nasty pop up powerbomb. He really planted Fandango with it. But this match also wasn't much.

4. The New Day vs. The Shield

ER: This is nuts to see the reunited Shield opening up the PPV, but it's cool to officially open things up with something big. Hey those halfsie Raw/Shield shirts look bad. And I'm into this, as I should be, because these teams should match up well. Kingston's offense looks all flimsy, but we build to Big E's big spear to the floor which always looks the greatest. Ambrose tags in Rollins with the most hilarious fake Ricky Morton hot tag ever, because he "leaps" to tag him, but he's literally standing right next to him. It had to be done to be silly. I think. Thankfully the rebound lariat gets reversed by a huge Big E tilt-a-whirl slam. The New Day stacked splash in the corner is a little silly, but then they shut my mouth by doing a truly silly leaping double DDT with Rollins and Ambrose stacked onto E's shoulders. This whole thing was pretty underwhelming. Roman's spear to Kingston looked nice, but the triple powerbomb somehow looked weaker than Owens' bomb on Fandango.

5. Becky Lynch/Carmella/Natalya/Tamina/Naomi vs. Alicia Fox/Bayley/Sasha Banks/Nia Jax/Asuka

ER: Not enough attention was paid to Lana's awesome Smackdown cocktail dress. Raw team really should run the boards, meaning instead they will just have Tamina eliminate everybody. Tamina has been on the roster for EIGHT YEARS!! She is still really really terrible at pro wrestling. The internet will be furious at the early Lynch elimination. And man they are really actually spending way too much time on Tamina. She is the clear #10 on the totem pole in that ring, and somehow she is being treated as the big star here. It's terrible. I don't so much care about her eliminating Bayley, they've already done the damage to Bayley. But having her treated as as big or bigger star than Nia, and man does Tamina throw some of the absolute worst headbutts I've seen. Tamina has a terrible look, and is really bad at wrestling, and you no longer owe anything to her father. Let the Tamina push DIE. Crowd gets lit up every time Asuka tags in, and her stuff against Carmella looks awesome. That flying hip attack looked near decapitation level. We really have Tamina sitting in the final 4. What have you done. Who wanted this. Sasha is really great at putting over Natalya's stuff, leaning into the 360 lariat and snapping her neck back getting run into the buckles. Boy we are really getting some Tamina Time. Asuka gets the final two eliminations, but man I am confused by sudden big deal in 2017 Tamina. A lot of this was handled pretty poorly. Even the final 2 on 1 was silly, because there wasn't any kind of attempt at a save. They just kind of let Asuka get the pins. This was bad.

6. The Miz vs. Baron Corbin

ER: Miz goes after Corbin's knee and I like how they handle it. Though I was really surprised that they basically had Miz wrecking Corbin the whole match, and had Dallas and Axel at ringside...but Corbin basically took a bunch of damage and then hit his loopy finisher on him to get the win. I have friends over so maybe I missed some of the nuances of this match, but it really felt like Miz worked really hard in this one to wind up with that finish.

7. Sheamus/Cesaro vs. The Usos

ER: The brand vs. brand has been kind of weird as we have a lot of heel champs right now, so we're getting a lot of heel on heel action, so the crowd is just picking guys as default faces. Which I guess is fine. The work in this is both really good, and also not really captivating. They're all doing good looking moves, they just aren't building in a very interesting way. The end run is really fun, but even then it felt like a sudden call to go home. But these guys are all total pros and hit their stuff really well, and they all have cool stuff to hit. The final Uso hot tag is great, with one of them tagging his brother while doing a running no hands dive over the top and into Cesaro. That's awesome.

8. Charlotte vs. Alexa Bliss

ER: Really liked when this broke open with Alexa whipping Charlotte's shoulder into the floor off the apron. Her abdominal stretch was really great too, digging in her elbow into Charlotte's exposed sides, scratching at her. I love how tenacious Bliss is, loved that guillotine choke build. And both of them going after the other's lower jaw was awesome, just grabbing at jawbone to get to a standing position. Bliss eats knees spectacularly on her twisting moonsault, but leans way out of Charlotte's follow up yakuza kick. This was a fun one, probably the best match on the show so far.

9. AJ Styles vs. Brock Lesnar

ER: I'm not sure how well this will go for Styles fans, but I'm curious how they'll work this one. And as many of us assumed, this is an absolute mauling. Brock tosses AJ around like a total dead body, and AJ has some of the more spectacular German suplex bumps. AJ is flying around spectacularly, including a wild bump over the top to the floor. All of Lesnar's knees to the ribs look absolutely devastating. AJ comes back nicely and I always love Lesnar's missed knee bump in the corner. And then AJ gets probably the longest actual run of offense we've seen against Brock in probably 3 years. They flub that corner tornado DDT, but then Brock bumps around big for him, including an awesome moment where he gets run through the ring steps. AJ hits a bunch of big flying moves, and the big moment of AJ locking in the calf crusher was awesome. Lesnar was selling it great, and the size difference was completely erased in that moment. And then Lesnar just smashes AJ's head into the back of the mat a bunch, and it looks horror movie violent. Every time AJ went up for a flying move I got nervous that Brock would catch him, and sure enough, we got there. AJ takes the F5 super great, and this was really fun. I'm happy AJ did as well as he did.

10. Kurt Angle/Finn Balor/Samoa Joe/Braun Strowman/HHH vs. Shane McMahon/Randy Orton/Bobby Roode/Shinsuke Nakamura/John Cena

ER: I know we all want this to come down to HHH and Shane. I kind of want that. HHH looks really stiff...not in his strikes, but in his mobility. But I think overall this is handled pretty well, with everybody getting time to do their stuff.  But we knew where this was going, and it was awful. There were individual moments I liked, but as a whole none of it worked. When one of the things I wrote down as enjoying is "Angle grabbing an ankle lock when Cena was going to do a fistdrop", or "Shane really flew hard into the ring barrier on that dropkick"...that cool stuff is really minor compared to the blatantly awful longform storytelling once we got to Shane being the lone survivor. There was approximately 12 minutes of guys standing around silently making eye contact while breathing heavily. And thank goodness Raw has HHH on their team, so that he can outsmart venerable warrior Shane McMahon. He sacrificed Angle so he can claim the victory for RAW BRAND! Which comes with no actual reward whatsoever, other than bragging rights that not one single person actually cares about in any way. Braun barely gets any sort of comeuppance, gets to choke him down briefly, which will no doubt lead to a 25 minute WM match with a 10 minute HHH cosplay ring entrance. You knew where all of this was going, and knew it was going to be awful. It was. You could see the crowd actively not enjoying much of the last half. It never got to them chanting or singing or something stupid like that, but people just looked tired and bored and defeated. I can't really blame them.

ER: Underwhelming card. The bad stuff was bad, the elimination matches were the worst, and the good stuff was merely good. Nothing stood out as particularly great. These longer cards are almost always the pits, even the ones that look interesting on paper. The upside is that Brock/Styles exceeded expectations. That was a real high point.

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2017 Ongoing MOTY List: Owens v. McMahon

78. Shane McMahon v. Kevin Owens WWE Hell in a Cell 10/8

ER: I am unashamed to admit that I completely loved this match. Shane jumps Owens and starts throwing those McMahon brand potato punches (I could totally see a poorly designed WWE shirt with cartoon potatoes that says McMahon Brand Potatoes and then the back says something stupid like "Want Fries With That!?") where 60% of them miss completely and the other 40% all land on the most annoying places possible. Shane is the blind squirrel accidentally finding Owens' ear and nose bridge. I am now over the moon as Shane sweeps the leg and then does a cartwheel kick!! Holy lord this rules. Shane dropkicks the cage door into Owens and Owens boots him off the apron, with Shane taking a big no look bump backwards into the cage. Match still rules. Shane eats a senton and cannonball, then Owens swantons right into Shane's knees. Shane sells the knee convincingly afterwards, then punches Owens in the ear a few times. Shane's face keeps getting redder, and then he misses a shooting star press! And then Owens hits a full force frog splash! OMG Shame MMAcMahon grabs a triangle off a pop up powerbomb, then grabs it again from the apron leading to him getting powerbombed onto the steps. People are shitting on this match but it feels like a total miracle match to me. Owens misses a cannonball off the apron through a table with aplomb. This still rules. Shane gets DDT'd hard on the entrance ramp, and it was the least flashy spot so far but looked great. You knew they were going up to the top of the cage, because McMahon wants to make his father proud or something? And the Russian leg sweep on top probably won't get talked about after the show, but you know they both smacked the back of their heads on the support beam part of the cage. They're doing a lot of stuff up on the cage, and I keep waiting for a giant hole to get torn through as they both die on their way down. I likely would have rolled an ankle taking my first step onto the top of the cage. I dug all the teasing around getting thrown off the cage, and Shane's kicks to the ribs while climbing down were sharp. Owens takes a big bump off the cage and yeah, you know Shane's gonna do something stupid now. And my god that was crazy. And Zayn saved Owens!! Holy cow the timing of that was amazing, with Zayn grabbing Owens' hand as Shane came violently crashing - HARD - through that table. That did not look like a classic Shane crash pad landing. That looked like a Parkour Fail video. And weirdly this doesn't totally feel like Zayn turning heel, it feels like Zayn pushing slightly towards heel and Owens getting pulled slightly towards face. This match FAR exceeded any kind of expectation I had for it. I'm kind of stunned how much I loved it. Really.

PAS: I didn't like this as much as Eric obviously, although I will admit it had it's moments. I always hated the McMahon nonsense in the WWE, and now that the country is basically ruled by the McMahon family it is even harder to watch. Shane as large adult son desperate to prove his manhood to his abusive lunatic of a father isn't funny anymore. Shane falls off a cage, Don Jr. retweets Nazi's, it's all the same toxic soup. The spots in this were undoubtedly nuts and I can imagine watching it live would be even better, because there was no guarantee that someone wouldn't die. Not only did it look like the roof of the cage might fall in, or one of the stunts might go wrong, but Shane looked like he might stroke out at any point. Owens was pretty good as a psychopath, he has been mired in crap for so long I had forgotten he could be semi effective. Shane's kids smirking through the match kind of hurt the whole "die for his family" shtick. Finish was great, the dive was truly lunatic, and I liked how they filmed the save.


2017 MOTY MASTER LIST

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