ER: I don't know a ton about this card, only know the early online "WWE is dying and putting on terrible cards!" vulture chat. I write up all these damn things, and usually it's these kind of under the radar cards that end up delivering, whether its because of the low expectations of me the viewer or the wrestlers themselves knowing there are low expectations. Either way, let's hope for some good wrestling to kill time with until I gotta watch Meryl Streep's weird ass fake teeth.
Akira Tozawa vs. Drew Gulak vs. Tony Nese
ER: This definitely starts out as Gulak and Tozawa working a Tony Nese match, which I understand that's how this was likely to go. Nese is the champ, you work the champ's stupid match. I'd much rather see them just running a Tozawa/Gulak match, or Nese vs. Gulak, or Nese vs. Tozawa, but we get the worst option and it's fine. Gulak and Tozawa are GOOD at working a Tony Nese match, so it works. Nese even wears 205 Live colored gear which...feels like I hate Tony Nese. But after they got the early dance party out of their system, this settled into a really exciting 3 way. Pretty much from the moment Tozawa hit his great high impact cannonball off the apron into Gulak, I was on board. It was very "I hit this guy into that guy and that guy winds up suplexing me into the first guy" but I thought they were mostly good at avoiding dumb waiting around set-ups. This got into some pure fire territory when Gulak sunk in a nasty dragon sleeper on Nese, with his ankles locked tight in a rough body vice. Nese kept breaking out in various ways forcing Gulak to adjust the hold as his own limbs would break free, totally great way to advance drama throughout one submission. And then, with the absolutely best exclamation point, Tozawa flew from out of nowhere with a heavy ass hell senton off the top, right into Nese, with Gulak underneath. Great involvement of all three guys. Tozawa was really fun here, and really he always is. He's a guy I hope lingers under the radar on the roster for a decade, like Funaki. He's already almost 3 years in! His solo stuff with Gulak is fun, loved his exchange with Nese that ended with him popping Nese in the jaw with a right, he took a cool backwards bump falling off the apron, just a great guy to put in matches like this. I wish they let Gulak tee off on Nese a little more, but I'm too genuinely excited for Drew Gulak: Cruiserweight Champion to much care. Gulak has been nothing but great during his WWE run, and I'm so happy that it will presumably start paying off with more feature matches. This match got better the longer it went, I thought, as we started feeling like a 6 minute rush job and we instead got a fun 12 minute fireworks show.
Becky Lynch vs. Lacey Evans
ER: This was messy, but in a way that I think benefitted the match. Lacey doesn't have great application on everything, but the story of her just attacking Lynch's stomach was more than enough, as Lacey was really good on every single shot she threw to the stomach. When a match has a ton of someone punching and kicking at someone's stomach, that's a cool thing I'm going to enjoy. I think it was also a really smart way to get around having Lacey do more complicated offense, just have her able to cut off Lynch with a low punch to the gut or wrapping her around a ringpost or jamming her boot in Lynch's ribs. I liked Lacey fighting to get out of the Disarm-her, and like how Lynch would throw her around (although Lynch did a few of her really dumb extended Woody Allen reactions after an Evans kickout, sitting there and doing this stupid stammering "Um well, yes, I guess, um, well, you see, I thought that would, gulp, thought that would get the, heh, you see, the pin" face. It's awful). They really push the pace in this too, and so the kind of messy moments combined with the fast pace gave this a cool runaway train vibe. I wish Lynch would have paid more lip service to her worked over stomach, but I liked this.
Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens vs. Big E/Xavier Woods
ER: They're keeping everything on this show at 10-12 minutes so far, and I think that benefits everyone. No guarantee we keep it that way, but three matches in and it's turned this into a fun, quick moving card. We get a long FIP segment from Woods, with both Zayn and Owens being really fun in their roles of taunting Big E on the apron. Owens especially would stomp on Woods' face, then look over at E holding his face and mocking him. But I also like how Owens and Zayn went for quick pinfalls right out of the gate, throwing out superkicks and sentons and cannonballs and a big Owens top rope splash. Obviously the Big E hot tag was going to be great, he's always been awesome and running through people in quick order, with Zayn right in the line of belly to belly suplex fire. Nothing on this show has hit next level, but it has made the show highly watchable, and that's really all I care about in the end.
Ricochet vs. Samoa Joe
ER: We've hardly seen any Joe vs. Ricochet, almost all of their matches have been on house shows, so this has a cool fresh feeling to it. This match really felt like they gave people the match they would want to see. It got tons of time, and both guys did their cool stuff against a new opponent, and Ricochet got a big ol' clean win! This is all crowd pleasing stuff! And, perhaps not surprisingly, the crowd has been making genuine noise all damn night. That's a good sign! They also threw in a bunch of slo mo replays, so it gave parts of the match a "AJPW 1995 Comm Tape" feel to it that I will always love. Ricochet taking a uranage on his shoulders? Great. Seeing an All Japan sweat flying off bodies slo mo replay? Impossibly better. Joe hitting a hard elbow? Awesome. All Japan slo mo of floppy haired Joe channeling floppy haired Misawa and crushing Ricochet with an elbow while sweat flies off? Impossibly better. This was what I assume everyone wanted. Joe hitting all of his classic Joe offense in classic fashion (really loved him hitting a big German suplex and turning around and laying him out with a lariat), Ricochet landing his flying moves where they were supposed to land (though he kind of whiffed on a springboard elbow). I do think they really front-loaded the Joe offense as Ricochet felt a little bit too Superman coming back after all of this beating. I wish they could have kept him a little more in this over the length of the match.
Heavy Machinery vs. Daniel Bryan/Erick Rowan
ER: Fans going nuts for home state boy Bryan is fun to see, and continues the trend of the crowd starting loud for this show and getting louder. I am far more excited for this match than I should be, as Bryan vs. Otis is a match-up I can't help but get excited for. Otis is someone I'm really happy is on the roster, the type of shape that just hasn't been around enough lately (I mean his shape is plenty around, but you know what I mean). Otis' arms are shaped exactly like his legs, he has cool strength, and he seems like a great unique partner for Bryan. And I'm not wrong, as the Otis/Bryan moments are incredibly fun. The whole match is incredibly fun! This is another fresh match and it leads to a ton of new cool stuff. I could watch Bryan kick away at Otis's pork barrel chest all damn day, and Bryan throws more kicks on Otis in this match than any match this year, and Otis hits a big damn press slam, big powerslam on Rowan, big capture suplex on Bryan, the big high angle sitout powerbomb on Bryan was awesome, he passes off a vertical suplex to Tucker, and - even though the fans are booing Heavy Machinery the whole match (and I loved that Otis was somehow getting the most heat of the night so far) - he still did that damn worm. Tucker showed a ton of agility I didn't realize he had, there was this killer early moment where he somersaulted over Bryan to get into position to lariat him out of his boots, and later he missed a big moonsault, took a big bump over the top to the floor, and was a part of a neat double team powerslam on Bryan. I do wish they would have made slight alterations to the match structure once it was so obvious that the crowd was going to treat Bryan like the face and HM like the heels, it made things a little silly when Tucker was fighting to the Otis hot tag while the crowd booed. Still Otis clearly knew what was going on and made a bunch of faces to show that he was just rubbing it in to the fans. His dorky chunkster hype movements while Bryan was lacing kicks into his chest made me laugh, and I just thought the pairing was insanely entertaining the whole match.
Alexa Bliss vs. Bayley
ER: This one didn't do much for me. Bliss worked too long and too dry a control segment, and Bayley's comebacks often leave me flat as they can look clumsy and revolve way too much around her opponent getting into an unnatural series of positions to take her specifically ordered offense. There were good moments, dug Bayley taking out Cross with a dive, dug Bliss hitting knees on the rotating splash, but this was pretty dry overall. This was the first match on the card I couldn't get into.
Drew McIntyre vs. Roman Reigns
ER: This show appears to be dying fast after a legitimately fun and exciting first couple hours, as this is filled to the brim with Shane interference, none of which is interesting. It really chumps McIntyre when he not only can't put Roman away, but has to also get out of the way while Shane does his thing, and still can't beat Roman. It's not a very satisfying match structure. Just like the prior match, there were some exciting moments: Roman hit one of those big Undertaker no hands dive (and he gets nutso height), but this all felt too predictable, and it spent too much time propping up a feud I have no interest in.
ER: And with that, I'm sad to say that I have already filled my life's quota of Dolph Ziggler/Kofi Kingston matches. We've been seeing 10 minute + singles matches from these two for literally a decade, sometimes enduring stretches of TV where they were happening every other week, and they do not have anything new to add to their match story. And there is no chance I'm going to sit through a Seth Rollins main event when I can be watching a bananas new season of Luther. I had a great time with the stuff I liked, and I pulled the plug by using common wrestling sense. Bless.
Labels: Akira Tozawa, Becky Lynch, Daniel Bryan, Drew Gulak, Heavy Machinery, Kevin Owens, Lacey Evans, Sami Zayn, Samoa Joe, WWE Stomping Grounds
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