WrestleMania 36 Night 1 Live Blog

ER: So I admittedly haven't been very engaged by the empty arena era. Wrestling is obviously better with a crowd (duh), and I wasn't actually expecting most of the WWE roster to be so bad at working in this new environment. This was a unique forced opportunity to do something weird with your style and change up your act in different ways, show your personality when your voice can be heard louder than ever, and instead most of them have responded by just pretending there is a crowd. Bryan, Asuka, maybe a couple of others have adapted well to the empty arena, but that's it. BUT, there are a lot of intriguing matches on the card, so let's see how it goes.


Cesaro vs. Drew Gulak

ER: I loved this, the absolute coolest way to do a short match. Gulak had the brilliant Bryan match (what feels like a lifetime ago now) and this had some of his strongest ringwork that I have ever seen. I have watched a LOT of Drew Gulak matches and not only was he breaking out tricks I've never seen from him before, every single thing he did was extremely tight. This was work that would make Finlay jealous. He had several awesome counters and reversals, including a gorgeous crossface reversal out of a Gotch piledriver. Gulak really showed off his underrated clothesline, sending Cesaro over the top to the floor and hitting a great flying clothesline off the apron (the diving clothesline is one of the hardest clotheslines to make look great, and this felt on the level of Daisuke Ikeda's diving lariat). He even does a trippy armdrag reversal on the floor off a Cesaro tombstone attempt, reminding me he was co-trained by Skayde. I love how heavily Gulak flew into everything, getting shaken by a Cesaro uppercut, and the way Gulak flew into it from the top rope make it look like he didn't know he was about to eat an uppercut. It's that extra level of committing to a move, to get thudded with a harder shot to commit to the realism. Cesaro also rewards him with the best elbow strike of the match (and surely the show), really putting over who has the power here.  I liked how on top of Cesaro he was, in the way he was constantly working for something in any second of potential downtime. Seeing a match like this and you become aware of how much some guys lie around nearly every time they hit the mat. Here Gulak takes any pin for or against him to take advantage of the prone Cesaro. Cesaro getting pinned and using the kickout to float over into a Fujiwara was logic that exposes the rest of the brand as resting on their laurels, and I loved how effectively he worked that crossface. Cesaro deserves a ton of credit for how well he played into Gulak's work, selling perfectly for all the holds and reversals but also expertly staying in position for all of it, occupying himself so realistically. The sudden explosive Cesaro finish worked for me, him realizing he won't shake the tenacious Gulak so just using his one real advantage - his crazy power - to muscle him up, disorient him, show off his traps and his balance, and then drive him hard to the mat. I loved every second of this.

PAS: This was really great stuff, it feels like given 14 minutes or so and an actual audience, these guys could have a match as good as Bryan vs. Gulak. Really makes me want to find whatever Ant Gulak was vs. Claudio from Chikara. Man Gulak was killer on the mat here, just constantly looking for an approach to grab and twist an arm, such a cool way to have a mat based match with very little time to do it in. Very weird that a guy is coming into his mat wrestling prime during his WWE stint. Cesaro was awesome as a guy whose power cannot be contained even with a bad wing. Empty arena wrestling is still weird and unsatisfying for me, but this is how you work around constraints.


ER: Until that video package I had no idea how - except for Willie Nelson - WWE has exclusively used black performers for America the Beautiful at WrestleMania. And I was weirdly into the overly long and bizarre show intro, which felt like Asylum making their version of Aquaman.


Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross vs. Asuka/Kairi Sane

ER: This was one of the matches I was excited for, partly because Asuka has been one of the only people who has taken advantage of the empty arena to do different things. She seems to genuinely enjoy the chance to be a goofball in this environment, and I love the way Sane plays her runty second. And this was good! I loved Kabuki Warriors all throughout, with Sane mocking Cross and Bliss when she shouldn't and always paying for it, while Asuka talked trash and danced and then would land a nice forearm or knee (her hiptoss into a knee strike on Bliss was so great, and made even better by her knowing look into the camera after). Bliss and Cross had good energy to counter, especially Bliss who really felt like she was flying into everything at top speed. Her Twisted Bliss moonsault to break up Asuka's rear naked choke was awesome, really crashing hard on Asuka (and, well, Nikki), and the one that pinned Sane was accidentally nasty as she landed right across Sane's legs. I think this would have played really well in front of a crowd, and it felt like Cross wasn't really as animated here as she's been the past few months. I'm sure a crowd would have helped with that as well. I didn't want Kabuki Warriors to win and would have rather had them cheat to retain, to keep the program going a bit and test the Cross/Bliss partnership.


Baron Corbin vs. Elias

ER: Elias just shows up after taking a "flat back bump" off the top of a cherry picker and Cole just going "well we weren't sure he would show up but he's here!" is so silly. And this is a match everyone is going to dump on, but I thought Corbin was good all things considered. He works better in a crowd setting, as you can real feel the disgust and apathy and it can kind of lend itself to a better match. But his work looked strong, loved the way he pinballed hard for a big Elias mule kick, hit a couple hard lariats. He's still been the only person who can credibly pull off the Boss Man type slide before, and there have been several people who have been trying that one since the internet all apparently watched that match. I didn't care about any part of the story personally, as it all seemed very out of sync with itself. Elias gets shoved off a landing to potential serious injury, comes out (still booked even though they said they didn't know he would show), blasts Corbin with a guitar...but then basically gets his ass kicked for a big portion of the match. Still, Corbin is going to get crap for his performance, and he shouldn't.


Shayna Baszler vs. Becky Lynch

ER: Baszler is someone who seems to benefit from the empty arena, as you can really hear how hard she's smacking Lynch. Best case scenario from Baszler with no crowd is that you might hear some mean shots land with that same echo you'd hear on a sub-100 attendance Futen show. And this is really great. I would have liked it to go several more minutes and for Lynch to actually build a bigger comeback. I suppose it depends on if they get another match, but having a heel like Shayna toss around and wreck the champ all match while the champ escapes with a leveraged pin still feels like something that should continue the program. It doesn't make Lynch feel like a strong champ or babyface if she just wants to move onto someone new without actually definitively beating Baszler, so we'll see. Shayna did get that great Futen echo on her strikes, and I loved the way she treated Lynch like a kid sister she was roughhousing with. I loved that thump of her strikes, and things like manhandling Lynch up and slamming her into an armbar or swinging her into the announce table played great. I loved how dominant she worked and how Lynch was barely scraping out of match ending moments. We've seen Baszler get beat several times by this same kind of pin, flipped over from her choke, and on a show like this you'd think it would have been cool to show that she's finally learned to counter that counter after it causing her so many losses. That's a really weird mental gap that should have been solved by now. I wasn't expecting the Shayna win, and I like this finish if it furthers the program. But I'm really not sure why it would.


Daniel Bryan vs. Sami Zayn

ER: Okay, people on this show are working stiff to take advantage of the arena acoustics and I am 100% okay with that. Bryan looked like he was trying to murder Zayn, all of his regular offense looked like it was landing 20% harder than normal. This Gulak/Bryan partnership is really pushing both of these guys to new heights. How special is that? I was into all of the early Zayn stalling and running because not only does Bryan play well off of that kind of thing, but I was also confident it would lead to Bryan unleashing hell on Zayn. Bryan is so believably irked by Zayn that it really adds to the match, and the stiffness puts it over the top. Bryan's kicks and grounded strikes were so good, but by the time he built up to stomping repeatedly through Zayn's face while holding his arms, he was just over the top insanely stiff. Zayn wasn't going to just take it, and he came back with a great follow through lariat (with Bryan trying to one up him not long after with one of his best flying elbow smashes). You knew there would be Cesaro and Nakamura interference, and I loved Bryan wiping both of them out with a big tope down the stretch. We did get another sudden finish, and really every singles match on this entire show has had a finish that has come without a ton of build or kickouts. Bryan of course flew hard into the helluva kick, but I wanted a little more time.

PAS: I haven't been watching much Zayn, but kind of weird he is working as Bobby Heenan now. Still Ultimate Warrior never beat Heenan this badly, Bryan was in full Finlay mode. I don't remember him ever throwing his kicks this hard, and that was the best ever head stomp spot I have seen him do, and he has been doing it forever. I agree that empty arena suits the guys who are best at just unleashing stiffness, and don't need a bunch of dramatics and chants. Bryan is straight up channeling FUTEN now (those crowds were pretty quiet too) which I am into. I would love to see what he would do with a guy who matches him in violence.


Kofi Kingston vs. Jimmy Uso vs. John Morrison

ER: It doesn't get much dumber than defending the tag titles in a 3 way singles match, but these are isolated times. Plus, it's probably not as dumb as these guys all taking ladder bumps with nobody live to react. But doing a bunch of dumb ladder spots to silence is kind of fun in a backyarder kind of way. It's not too hard to picture three teens falling off a picnic table in the public park closest to their home. Needs more of "friend filming everything reacting and distorting the mic audio. This had some genuinely great spots, and also a lot of messiness. Morrison especially looked klutzy early on, but seemed to get better as the match went on. He had a couple tough crashes into ladders, and I liked little moments like him getting a ladder pushed onto him but it landing so he came out unscathed in the middle (before eyepoking Uso). Aspiring to be ladder match Buster Keaton is more interesting than aspiring to be ladder match Shawn Michaels. I came away super impressed by Kofi. Kofi clearly got the picture from all the prior matches that stiffness was the flavor of the day, and I don't know if I've ever seen Kofi lay in shots the way he was here. His clubbing forearms were so great, you could see Morrison's back get redder as Kofi was beating him. Kofi also made his shots into the ladder look better than the others. Morrison was doing stunt falls that had little meaning behind them, and here's Kofi ramming himself at high speed into ladders and crashing hard, a simpler bump than the big spills from ring to floor but so much more effective. Uso even took what looked like an insane bump off a ladder to the floor, and it was barely focused on for two seconds. Uso himself basically shrugged it off to get in place for the finish. This felt too long (really feels like we haven't nailed the right time on any match so far, as everything has either felt too long or that it ended too suddenly), but I liked it more than I expected to like it. Finish was


Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Steen

ER: The Seth Rollins match is almost always the match I least look forward to on a PPV. I never care about his feuds, I never care about his matches, but I would rather see him in something like this than a title match epic. But even Rollins is working more stiff, and a Seth Rollins match focusing on some nice kicks (he had a couple soccer kicks to Owens shoulder that felt far stiffer than anything in a typical Rollins match) is going to be better than the modern Edge matches he usually works. His tope hit unusually hard, really crashing Owens back into the barricade, far different than his usual topes where he extends his arms to far ahead of him that it looks like he's trying to avoid contact of any kind. Owens bumps really rang out in the silence, and he had a major hand in making me more interested in Rollins, and still got to fire back with stuff, like his nice cannonball. I really liked the false finish, with Rollins braining Owens with the ringbell for the DQ. The silent building really does wonders for ringbell shots as the TANG of the bell resonates while you get a big THUNK from the wood that makes it sounds sturdy as hell. The change to a No DQ was a fun surprise, and the work after the change was even better. Rollins was really lacing into Owens with soccer kicks, and they came off painful in a way his stuff almost never comes off (except against Lesnar, who is someone who forces you into working stiff or else get run over), and we also get a couple more ringbell shots. Owens' revenge shot is great, and I really wish they had ended things with Owens just pulverizing Rollins. Instead, they lost me a bit with that big stunt fall off the sign. I didn't like the "How's this for a WrestleMania moment" call, felt really forced, and it took the shine off a big leaping elbow that actually looked great. The replay angles made it look less impressive, but the first shot was far back enough at an angle that it made it look like he was leaping really far. But they weirdly didn't cut to a replay in the aftermath, and instead held firm on both of them. Part of me was thinking "well I guess it's just part of their now played out direction style to just cut to a replay several times" but this time it felt like it needed that. Because instead, we just heard Seth Rollins making risible old man orgasm sounds for an exceedingly long time. Those sounds started making me snort laugh and then I was out of what had been a surprisingly nice ass kicking. Still, even with those old man pleasure sounds, this shot way past my expectations.


Braun Strowman vs. Goldberg

ER: I was actually excited for Reigns/Goldberg. I was fairly optimistic that both are smart enough workers that they would have put together something smart and really fun. Seeing Reigns eat a spear while up for a Superman punch would have ruled, and I hope we get to see it at some point (though there is less reason to do so now). Braun is a fine replacement but the match needed an extra twist to make it work. This was 2 minutes and okay, and I think with 1 more minute it could have been memorable. It needed at least one more miss from either guy, a 1-2-1 or a 1-2-1-2, and instead we just got a 1-2. Goldberg hit some great spears, Braun hit some nice powerslams. We needed one little surprise, and it was explosive enough even with the short runtime, that a couple of extra beats would have made it much more memorable.


AJ Styles vs. Undertaker

ER: So, I loved this. This was SO MUCH BETTER than a brutal 20 minute empty arena "regular" wrestling match. That would have been abysmal. Over the last decade the only way to get something interesting out of Undertaker has been by having him take a beating against a larger than life figure. You had him getting dumped on his head by Goldberg last year in an extremely fun old man scrap, and several years ago we got the all time great Hell in a Cell match against Brock (which is our #3 match of 2015, and was #1 for a bit). Those matches saw Taker against two larger than life men and felt like genuine dream matches with high ceilings. A 55 year old Taker against Styles didn't feel like a match with a similar high ceiling for me, and since nobody was telling us what a Boneyard Match was I was left to my nightmare visions of the Sting/Vampiro Graveyard Match.

But this felt better than the TNA Broken Hardys stuff, and it felt better than the similar stuff that Lucha Underground did. This was much more like a late VHS era straight to video release, like you went to the video store and found a 1999 Lance Henriksen supernatural biker action movie that you didn't know existed. Or like when you found out that there was a third Prophecy movie in 2000 and not only still had Christopher Walken but also Brad Dourif. The match could have benefitted from a character actor cameo (Mark Boone Junior feels like a guy who could have been affordable, just have him ride in with Taker and then toss him a pistol or something later). It used sound FX far better than Lucha Underground (which seemingly only had one SLAP effect and one bone crunching effect. It also looked like, even with the added FX, that Taker wasn't risking it and laying in big right hands to AJ. Taker kept relying on that right hand and I loved when eventually he was surrounded by druid goons, he just kept turning and punching guys with that hand. No blade attacks, no weapons, just a right hand. This had the cool outdoor bumps that other similarly filmed spectacles have had, and the actual brawling between Taker and AJ had more in common with the Regal/Finlay Parking Lot Brawl than with the awful Graveyard Match or even the Hardy Boys stuff. The twists were all fun, the spills into open graves looked good, and you KNEW there was going to be a tombstone with AJ Styles' name on it. AJ fell all over this graveyard and haunted barn, tossed onto old wood and crashing through fences. I thought all of those effects looked good, like the druids breaking through the barn (which had the proper horror lighting) or the two of them breaking through a fence. I mentioned Lance Henriksen earlier and some of these overhead shots looked like the land where Pumpkinhead was filmed, and it was lit the same way as the final showdown with Pumpkinhead. And yet this did not set unreasonable Pumpkinhead hopes, because everything they had done had been cool in its own way. Within their own canon I think this came off even better than something like the crazy street fight violence of the Hollywood Backlot Brawl, and instead of Piper breaking his hand on Goldust's face we got Taker cutting his arm on a window and AJ yelling about a broken finger. This whole thing was a ton of fun and again, SO MUCH BETTER than any "normal" match we could have had between them.


So I thought this show was great. The matches I absolutely did not care about (Rollins/Owens and Styles/Taker) WAY overdelivered, and you also had Gulak/Cesaro and Bryan/Zayn (added to our 2020 Ongoing MOTY List) that came off impressively violent and cool. This whole thing was more than enjoyable, it kept me entertained the whole way through, and these days it doesn't always take much to make me lose my concentration. I'll come back tomorrow to do the 2nd half, although it has some BIG damn shoes to fill.

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WWE Summerslam 8/11/19 (Not at ALL) Live Report

ER: I've had an unexpectedly long, very much trash day, so am not *really* in the mood to go through this show. But it's good to commit to things, so forgive me if I do not commit to watching some of the matches I'm unexcited for while battling the now-unusable WWE Network.

Drew Gulak vs. Oney Lorcan

ER: Yes sir. This was what got me excited for this card. And there is nothing else that can happen on this card that will take this match away from me. This ruled, and was a killer showcase for both men. We were so excited seeing TAKA Michinoku doing quebradas on WWF TV 20 years ago, so excited for cruiserweight wrestling on our TVs, and now we have evolved to TV cruiserweight wrestling being two guys ripping at beards and punching throats. Look at the things we as a people can do. This was an unhurried an unsanitized version of what these two can do, and it got to happen on (the undercard) of one of the biggest shows of the year, and that's a very cool thing. It was a tidy 9 minutes filled with a dozen cool ideas, and just made me want to see them match up a dozen more times. Gulak slams Lorcan into the ropes in a flat out sinister way, and is practically inventing cruel subs to try to trap him in. Lorcan's aggression is his double edged sword. He flies into everything with abandon, which allowed him to come so close to beating Gulak, but it also meant he lost to Gulak. These guys made me buy into everything they did, moves had consequences, actions lead to finishes. Gulak took on the persona of a big brother who picked on his little brother too long and accidentally pushed him over the edge, and it was great. The look on Gulak's face as Lorcan is grabbing him by the fucking beard and muzzle and slapping him was classic. Both read naked choke spots were great, with the first looking like a genuine finish as Lorcan is not close to the ropes, and Gulak drags the arm closest to the ropes back across Lorcan's throat. That they went back to it soon after and created an organic Lorcan false win showed they understand their characters and the match they were having 100%. I loved Lorcan flipping out of that rear naked and almost getting the "fluke" pin, everything they had done made that finish an absolute possibility. Lorcan's flying uppercuts are a thing of beauty, and I'm not sure I've seen someone just lean into them standing the way Gulak did. It's one of those spots that somehow made both men look tougher, Lorcan flying into Gulak and Gulak absorbing the shots but refusing to show ass. And the finish was great, with Gulak being drug into the ring holding onto the ring skirt for dead life, then at the earliest opening just punching Lorcan in the throat and hitting the neckbreaker. Lorcan's sell of his throat was palpable, and I just want to see these guys continue to crush every opportunity they're given.

Apollo Crews vs. Buddy Murphy

ER: Damn, I thought this was really cool. On paper this didn't do much for me, and it got ended after just a few minutes with a big boss Rowan run in, but I liked what they did with their allotted time. They knew that had 4 minutes to make an impression, and they did! Murphy attacked at the bell with a running knee, making me think it was actually going to be a 5 second match, and the rest played out like a cool Worldwide match. Crews got a couple big throws and showed off his leaps, we got a couple cool things on the floor like Crews getting run into the steps and Murphy hitting a big flip dive, and with that opening knee the whole thing felt like it could end at any time. That's a cool vibe for a match with essentially no stakes. I would actually like to see more of this. And by that I mean more of these guys, making unimportant matches feel important. More guys on the roster should actually work like it matters.

Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross vs. Iiconics

ER: Damn, not only is Colin Delaney better than a large % of WWE's active roster, but now Alexa Bliss is robbing the Buzz Lightyear aesthetic? Give Delaney the run he deserves, you cowards. But I think this match had a lot to like. Iiconics are like a really great WoW team, with similar WoW wrestling ability. I genuinely get excited to see them when they come out, and don't really care that they don't always look great in ring. They entertain me. This match had a couple nice nearfall saves, and Royce catching Alexa's boots in the corner only to get sent absolutely wobbly with an elbow was a fantastic moment. I thought Royce's crumple sell was the best, and the whole spot worked because it was an appropriate sell for the strike. This was quick, fun, and made me appreciate what the Iiconics bring to a telecast even more.

Becky Lynch vs. Natalya

ER: I do not fucking care that they are in Canada, it is flat out bullshit that Natalya gets trotted out there entering AFTER the champ. Being Canadian is the one thing Natalya has going for her in this one, and I fully respect this Toronto crowd not giving one shit about Natalya being born thousands of miles away. If WWE actually got self aware and turned Natalya's insufferable nature into her onscreen character (I mean, intentionally), it could actually be good. If we are going to be plagued with Natalya, use her natural unlikability. And I liked this! I didn't really love the finishing stretch, as it was essentially just both getting put all the way into submissions and screaming a lot because they are all the way into a submission, but then just getting out of them and putting their own full submission on. Lynch gets put in a sharpshooter for the better part of a minute, and reverses it by just locking in the Disarm-her and not acknowledging any of the actual work that she's been through. I had a hunch this stip was going to be hard to actually pull off, but it worked better than I thought it would. The work getting to the finish was fun. I liked Natalya's turnbuckle sharpshooter, the superplex looked great, I liked the work around the arm, and thought they moved interestingly into submissions (like Natalya catching Lynch's kick in the corner to slam her leg into the mat). There was a weird moment where Becky was in a sub while her feet where completely hanging off the ring, and another where she was flat out crawling down the side of the ring in a sub, but the ref wasn't breaking the hold. This wasn't No DQ, right? There are still rules. Those kind of things bugged me in the match, but the match still delivered stronger than I was expecting. Toronto fans are sellouts for eventually rooting for Natalya. How low can you get? I understand pride in your country, but have a spine, Canada.

Goldberg vs. Dolph Ziggler

ER: For some reason I knew they would nail this one. And I am a total rube, because I actually fully bought into that opening match superkick. I don't know why, that just felt like something that could happen, and I dug it. This was worked exactly how it should have been: a couple superkicks, a spear for the ages, big Jackhammer, and Dolph hilariously talking shit after the match to his own detriment. These kind of pieces really liven up a card, really give us a different mix of energy, and this was an easy win.

Ricochet vs. AJ Styles

ER: I cannot remember the last match involving these two that I enjoyed as much as this one. This was incredibly fun, innovative, and economical. It took a simple story of Styles taking out Ricochet's knee, while Ricochet fought through not only that bum wheel but also attempted to fend off Gallows and Anderson. And it worked great! Styles does some nasty things to the knee, and Ricochet hops around that ring on one leg like he was Zack Gowen. AJ would kick his leg out and Ricochet would spill out spectacularly but fight back valiantly. I really liked Ricochet's aggression, made him come off real tough and AJ was good at taking advantage of opportunities. The one legged springboard crossbody was a coconuts thing to pull out, and I liked when Ricochet would deliver a kick but then have to deal with his knee going out. Ricochet made all of AJ's offense look finisher worthy; I don't know if I've seen anyone snap his neck like that on AJ's fireman's carry drop on his knee. The finish was wild, with Ricochet ducking and diving and kicking Anderson/Gallows away, only for AJ to catch his dragon rana and plant him with the Styles Clash. This was super effective, and was able to have a match filled with back and forth action without it ever feel like move trading. This card has been delivering on best case scenarios so far.

Bayley vs. Ember Moon

ER: Man I thought this ruled, too! There is something in the water in Toronto tonight, as I have seen several people on this card now have their most interesting matches in ages. Everybody looks like they're trying to stand out on a card filled almost exclusively with singles matches, and so far, everybody is doing just that. Moon was throwing heavy strikes, kneeing Bayley in the back, jamming her knee in with a bow and arrow, did cool things like break a Boston crab by striking at Bayley's leg,  hit a nice big rana off the top and followed it up with knees to the face. Moon looked like someone that should have a belt, and Bayley had her tightest performance that I can remember. Bayley had a match against Ronda earlier this year that I adored, and I think Bayley has looked sloppy as hell ever since. But I liked her here. The top rope Bayley to Belly was cool as hell, and it was a nice follow up from her nice superplex earlier in the match. And she kept throwing nice cut off strikes throughout, hitting a sharp elbow to the back of Moon's head, stopping a tope with a forearm, focused one shot attacks to stop Moon's flurries. This was another match that over delivered, a sentence I should have just been copying and pasting by this point.

Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens

ER: No time, no time, no time.

Trish Stratus vs. Charlotte Flair

ER: So if my continued use of the word "overdeliver" hadn't convinced you yet, not a soul among you would have guessed this match would be as entertaining as it ended up being. Trish has only a few matches over the past year, and certainly not enough ring time to think she could have a fun 15+ minute match. This was about as miracle match as you can get, and it's great that someone would work this hard to go out in what is probably the best singles match of her career. There were moments she moved a little slower than someone more active, but I thought she did great overall. She added a few painful bumps (loved her big back bump off the buckles to the floor, no non-wrestler needs to be taking drops like that), and she brought big match emotion to something that could have been a real mess. Charlotte handled the match incredibly well, finding the exact notes to hit so that this was not only a successful retirement match for a legend, but it never looked like she was working elderly Baba. Trish didn't get spared for being a non-regular, but Trish has always been good about leaning into everything (remember, this is a Finlay trainee we're talking about here!). The powerbomb turned into a rana off the top rope was an awesome moment, thought Charlotte looked so cool climbing up top with her entire face obscured by the body of Stratus. Stratus got to shine and took a bunch of bumps, Charlotte got to help a WWE legend shine while looking no worse for wear, the whole thing should NOT have worked this well. Full respect for both for putting this together, fuller respect for Trish for going out on top.

Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton

ER: I'm sure they did just fine.

Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor

ER: I thought this was fine, although it might have been a tough part of the card to be put on. I have no real dog in this fight, but I dug the weird Bray Wyatt head lantern, and the match itself was short and sweet.

Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins

ER: My god Paul Heyman has hit 1.0 on the Sorrell Booke scale. The fact he isn't in a white suit means that he has failed every single boy in the back, and every one of those boys has failed him. And this match? Yes yes yes yes YES! What kind of sweaty sorcery has consumed Brock Lesnar, having excellent singles matches with Finn Balor and Seth Rollins in one calendar year? This whole thing ruled, and it wasn't just Brock. Seth threw everything he had at him, and the quantity over quality approach worked, while his ragdoll crumpling body after suplexes was perfect. Lesnar was great at being vulnerable here, he made superkicks interesting and bounced his head off the mat several different ways while taking curb stomps throughout. When he went on offense he looked powerful in a different way than normal. His Germans looked faster and thrown at a lower angle than they typically are, and his rollthroughs after them were smooth as hell. Brock is great at working non-weapon objects into a match, things like angrily removing his gloves, or even running full speed into the ringpost, or even better catching Rollins on a dive and running him as hard as humanly possible into the ringpost, he knows how to integrate available objects in really cool ways that always make a match feel different. I think Brock is fantastic at selling and moving in a way that nobody else in wrestling does, the way he stumbles around and takes non-canon WWE bumps that aren't just fast flat back bumps, it makes all of his matches even more unique than they already are. He took spills for Rollins and always stumbled into taking Rollins' sometimes questionable offense in such a way that he looked beatable. The layout of this was so good, easily the best Rollins match of the year (and probably the best Rollins match of the past three years). I thought this was excellent.


ER: Well, I did a little personal editing to skip past a couple things that didn't interest me, but had I watched them and they were awful, I still would have loved this show. This show started with a great Gulak/Lorcan match and finished with a great Brock/Rollins match, and kept me entertained the entire time in between. This was an awesome show, one that on paper looked flat out bizarrely stuffed with almost all singles matches. It would have been very easy for this show to feel overly same-y, yet I thought everyone on this card did a great job of filling a different niche. Great time all around, great card.

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2019 Ongoing MOTY List: Goldberg vs. Undertaker

34. Goldberg vs. Undertaker WWE Super Showdown 6/7

ER: I hadn't planned on watching any of Super Showdown, not because I was taking any moral stand against Vince's buddy Mohammad bin Salman, but more because I was taking a stand against a wrestling card that didn't have matches I was interested in seeing. But as the event approached I found myself undeniably interested in Goldberg/Taker. Now, for the most part I have not enjoyed any of the propped up Corpse Taker matches over the past decade (outside of the legitimately great Lesnar match from a few years ago), and Goldberg has been barely even a wrestler since his mid 30s. But I've always been a big fan of Goldberg, and I adore old man wrestling matches, and believe it or not these two have NEVER matched up in a pro wrestling match! That seems impossible, that WWE had Goldberg hanging around an entire year and never ran this match. But they didn't, and instead we get it for the first time when both men are old, broken, and running on fumes in the name of Mohammad bin Salman. You know, the biggest Jewish wrestling star in history just main eventing a show in the notoriously Jew-friendly Saudi Arabia. Goddamn this show is fucked. So these two old mules go out and fight for mule supremacy, and I kind of loved it.

I hated that I loved it but I just love old dudes stiffing the hell out of each other in a wrestling ring. For my obit you can just shorten that to "He loved stiff old men", put it right on my tombstone. This whole thing was laid out as expertly as you could lay out a match between two legends, and with old guy matches the errant blows and sandbagging play to a match's strengths for me, play into the inherent vulnerabilities of two broken down bags of meat. It's a different side of a much more expensive Randy the Ram coin. There's main eventing VFW's and selling fewer and fewer polaroids, and then there's main eventing King Abdullah Sports City Stadium for wheelbarrows filled with cash. Either way it's an ugly look for the business, but at least a couple of old guys are getting compensated for their death stunts. And my oh my were there death stunts.

This was my favorite kind of old man match, where the two recognized their lack of gas tank and speed, and increased the stiffness and danger to balance it all out. Every shot Goldberg threw looked great, all his punches and especially his stomach kicks looked like he was gearing up to work a Futen anniversary tag. Starting with that big spear was an awesome moment; Goldberg can still make the spear look like a kill shot, and knowing the show was being booked for a 33 year old who was apparently a huge wrestling fan when he was 14, the opening nearfall worked because it's not crazy to think that an agent went "Look the prince remembers loving Goldberg spearing Glacier and Wrath and Reese when he was a teen, just do that and end it in 30 seconds. Also, why didn't we get Glacier?" And it sets up a fantastic spot where Goldberg misses a spear into the corner and busts his head open hitting the ringpost. Goldberg really committed to nailing that spear and committed even more to missing the spear. He really made his miss look like something that was going to hit, and that's a talent not many have. 

You would think Goldberg getting color from flying head first into a ringpost would be the craziest thing to happen in  a match featuring two men a couple years away from getting the senior discount at Arby's, but you would be wrong. Instead Taker drops Goldberg on the top of the head with a gnarly tombstone. It gets a great nearfall, and Goldberg pays him back nicely by dropping Taker on his head like he was Shinya Hashimoto facing an unknown karate guy, truly one of those great "botches making a match even better". I also really genuinely liked Goldberg falling over trying to tombstone Taker, no matter the actual reason he fell over. Old guy, tired out, bleeding out of his head off a nasty shot to the ringpost, the idea of them working a series of silly 69 reversals would have been horrible. Instead you get him collapsing and then Taker dropping him in the grave with a chokeslam, made tons of sense as a finish. These two beat the hell out of each other, nothing but stiff shots the whole way through, laid out wonderfully, with some insanely memorable moments. I flat out loved this.

PAS: I thought this was unreservedly great. Total spectacle with a bunch of well executed big moments, and some moments that weren't as well executed, but awesome in their sloppiness. The opening big spear by Goldberg looked awesome, and set up the Undertaker sit up great. I loved the awkward kneebar, as RINGS Goldberg was always my favorite Goldberg. I thought the missed spear was super nasty looking as was all the blood (I guess Goldberg legit concussed himself with that move, but it still worked great in the context of the match) Taker and Goldberg were both throwing potatoes, I imagine the need to deliver a receipt led Taker to actually look like a great striker as opposed to someone playing one on TV. Goldberg obviously couldn't get Taker over for the Jackhammer, but a dead drop Hashimoto brainbuster is a cooler spot anyway. I actually liked the finish with Goldberg collapsing while trying the tombstone, and kind of sandbagging the chokeslam. It worked with the idea of an old guy losing a ton of blood gassing out when his big shot failed. Cool wrestling story, even if it was legitimately an old guy gassing out when he cracked his head.


2019 MOTY MASTER LIST

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My Favorite Wrestling: WCW Saturday Night 5/16/98

Road Block vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

ER: This was pretty great, maybe my favorite Duggan WCW syndicated match. That's not super high praise, as Duggan was a fairly selfish syndicated worker, prone to no selling punches and kind of gobbling up lower totem pole guys. But Roadblock didn't get gobbled up at all, and got an extended run here as a great 60s style big man. Roadblock wasn't going to move much of a needle in 1998, a guy born way too late. I like his clumsy but heavy kicks to the stomach, high elbow drop, he really gets to beat Duggan around the ring, and he gets a long and awesome bearhug. He's really squeezing Duggan, holding him up in the air, and the camera clearly keeps it above the waist on tight shots, especially when Roadblock starts shaking him. "Nobody needs to see these two violently rubbing mons pubis, keep it high and tight!" Duggan fights out of it with punches and a headbutt, but Roadblock hangs on so we get a cool extended bearhug on television. Duggan works stiff on his comeback, throws a nice "back up" shot, hits this killer and big corner punches. Roadblock misses a huge splash off the middle rope to set up Duggan's clothesline and big kneedrop. This was really competitive for a Duggan match, became an unexpectedly fun big boy banger.

Barry Horowitz vs. Marty Jannetty

ER: Man 1998 Jannetty always looked such a decade behind the times. Horowitz is a guy I really appreciate on these shows. He was beyond the "dependable" tag that gets hung on him, he was a guy who always found a different way to fill 4 minutes. He would experiment with offense, and be entertaining in matches where he dominated (like this one) or ones that he gets worked over. I thought this match was fantastic, Horowitz has nice strikes and dominates the action, throws hard stomps to Duggan's head and drops a leg, comes up with a cool rolling cradle out of a stump puller, a guy who really looks good in control of  a match. But the Jannetty comeback is incredible, as Horowitz comes up with a crazy way to transition Marty back to offense: Horowitz climbs to the top while Jannetty is laid out, but Barry flies balls first into a waiting atomic drop. That's the best transition, totally precision landing, cool concept. Jannetty wins with an absolutely gorgeous fistdrop off the TOP ROPE, truly one of the finest fistdrops I've ever seen, and a fine fistdrop is something that can truly warm my pro wrestling heart. This show could just be one 2 hour GIF.

Mean Gene gives an unfortunate interview with Fit Finlay where they hype his upcoming Slamboree match against Chris Benoit, and Gene says how Benoit is someone who can "really tie you up". What did Gene know?

Horace vs. Juventud Guerrera

ER: My favorite matches on these shows tend to be the ones where the result is somewhat in doubt. And this is a fun example of that. Horace is a guy I seem to be a highish vote on (I like him as a well above average big thug type), but he's not super high on the WCW totem pole. and big guys did mostly steamroll over non Rey Mysterio small guys in WCW, but Juvy was a guy who had been treated as a potential future Mysterio. So this was a fun match with a rare mystery outcome. Horace was great at tossing around Juvy early, and only made Juvy's big comeback more exciting. Juvy looked really explosive on the comeback, even got to hit a big plancha. And Horace does actually win the match, but it big interference from Reese. So Juvy loses, but takes on a full heavyweight and only loses because a freakshow giant crushes him. '98/'99 Juvy was really great.

Johnny Swinger vs. Jerry Flynn

ER: This episode is a real classic so far, full of fun and kind of unexpected gems. Swinger here plays the really underrated role of "overly cocky small guy", and seriously who is the crowd supposed to cheer for in this one? Flynn looks like a meathead doofus karate guy who would be a traitor working as a karate guy for the Vietcong in a direct to video Christopher Mitchum movie. And Swinger is a greasy punk who wears just-sleeves instead of a full ring jacket and grinds his hips in between moves. So you get two stubblemugs working a stiff match, and it's great. Swinger really comes off like an under a under the radar tough guy, always able to eat a beating from tough guys, always seems to get matched up with tough guys and leans into strikes, and always works snug when he gets to work offense, despite a usual size discrepancy. Flynn gets a lot of nice big kicks, Swinger makes those kicks look great, but Swinger also gets a hot start and gets to look on Flynn's level. I'm not sure I've seen Swinger win a match in WCW, but he's a guy I appreciate the more I see.

Len Denton vs. Disco Inferno

ER: Here's a rare bird indeed! A 1998 Len Denton sighting! I really liked 1998 Len Denton. Almost a best case scenario Jim Neidhart. He hits hard on shoulderblocks, throws his body into a lariat, sets up a good backdrop, a good workmanlike body slam. Len Denton is the kind of guy you get excited to see on a Saturday Night. Disco Inferno is the world's most successful Ken Marino character, and for those reasons this easily works. Denton really flies into a missed elbow drop off the middle rope, drops fast on the Chartbuster. It was short, but it was what you wanted.

If this episode were closer to Halloween I would assume that Gene was doing some kind of killer Stop Making Sense costume but this is in May. Mean Gene looks like a man dying before our eyes.

And then we get one of those batshit insane but also smug as hell baller Eric Bischoff promo where he keeps casually and "calmer than you are" challenging Vince to show up at Slamboree to get a shitkicking. What a lunatic concept, just trying to challenge your competition to some kind of shoot. And you just know it actually got under Vince's skin and he probably had to be talked out of showing up. There has to be some good stories behind that angle right?

Disorderly Conduct vs. High Voltage

ER: This episode is a thing of marvelous beauty. This match is sweet heroin rushing into my veins, two dudes with mullets and purple singlets versus two guys with on paper better hair but neon green singlets just doing a hot moves sprint. This is the stuff you want. You want Mean Mike breaking out a chinbreaker and body slam double teams, you want Robbie Rage hitting a huge butterfly suplex and Kenny Kaos hitting a huge powerslam running Tough Tom into the turnbuckles. This was the kind of fast paced short tag match that WCW syndicated shows did so much better at than similar era WWF.

Lenny Lane vs. Kidman

ER: Lane is a fun cruiserweight comedy stooge that probably doesn't get enough credit for being a fun TV performer during this era. Lane's stuff is a little telegraphed, but he has a fun roll up, really great headscissors, a couple unique slams. Kidman is game as a bumper but seems a little uninventive in getting to his spots, kind of awkwardly grabbing his bulldog off the ropes when it looked like he wanted to just end things. The shooting star didn't crush Lane's windpipe, so that's a relief. This was at minimum a nicely paced cruiserweight match, unique in its lack of luchador (it was almost always luchador vs. white guy in the weekly Saturday Night showcase match), this added to the episode's already high bang for the buck factor.

Evan Kourageous vs. Saturn

ER: Seeing Evan Karagias (I used the actual spelling they used onscreen up above) run out for a match makes my heart sink a little. The show had been doing so well. BUT, Saturn comes out, and he's a guy who could be a jerk sometimes, so you instantly think this pretty boy with the bad goatee might get roughed up! Kidman gets on the mic before the match and asks Karagias if he wants to get beat by the Rings of Saturn, or the Death Valley Driver? And this is a tremendous beating from Saturn, total great squash. Karagias gets a somewhat sold dropkick, and Saturn bumps for a flippy DDT, but the rest is Saturn throwing high kicks to the face, a big overhead butterfly belly to belly, hard dropkick while vaulting off a chair, Psychosis level height guillotine legdrop, and sticks him with the dvd. Saturn looked like the most fun wrestler in WCW in this match, he really went through some fun bursts.

Yuji Nagata vs. Goldberg

ER: If you asked people when this match happened "Which of these two guys will be in the Observer Hall of Fame in 20 years?" how many people would have met Nagata. Goldberg was a nuclear megastar here. The crowd goes absolutely mental the entire match. Nagata starts throwing fast high kicks and Goldberg shrugs them off, starts with his weird shit like his rolling knee bar and his backflip and catches a Nagata kick to whip him with his cool dragon screw, and the fans are just losing their minds. When he levels him with an absolute battering ram of a spear, these people can't contain themselves. Goldberg holds the Jackhammer for exactly 7 seconds, and Goldberg had to be the most popular man in all of Springfield, Illinois that afternoon.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Fit Finlay

ER: Earlier in the episode they announced this match but I thought it was Finlay vs. Chavo, which I'm sure would have been good, but Finlay vs. Eddie is way more legendary sounding. Oh, and it IS Finlay vs. Chavo, because Eddie is so generous that he opts to give his nephew the TV Title opportunity. So that means that WCW blew its own reveal earlier in the episode where at the very beginning of the show they announced Finlay vs. Chavo. I knew I didn't mishear that shit. Why would they film an angle and then blow the surprise 90 minutes earlier? And sometimes Finlay really comes off like a cold-blooded assassin in matches. Here he gives a joyless beating at Chavo, not wanting to get involved in the uncle/nephew drama, and really showing off some great hard wrestling offense. Chavo doesn't get a lot of extended action but doesn't totally allow himself to be swallowed up. Even if he's not getting a string of moves he still would do things like throw body blows when getting picked up off the mat, at least giving us some struggle. Finlay is busy as usual, tossing constant stomps to a downed Chavo, hitting the hardest forearm to the back, lifting him up for an absurdly high bodyslam (he was holding Chavo by his head and shoulders! Like a vertical suplex almost but just yoinked up like a bodyslam), really buries that shoulder to the gut on the rolling fireman's carry, and Eddie is playing faux concerned the entire time on the floor. Eddie even puts his white towel over his head so he doesn't have to see poor Chavo take a nasty as hell tombstone.

What a perfect little episode of 1998 syndicated WCW. I've somehow written up more 1999 Saturday Night episodes than 1998, and that feels like a misguided mistake. 1998 was really my sweet spot at the time, and this episode really backed up my emotions and memories. Total front to back banger right here.


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My Favorite Wrestling: WCW Worldwide 6/15/98

Barry Horowitz vs. Chris Benoit

ER: Kicking off my deep Saturday night with pro wrestling's #1 rated murderer! But this is probably 100% my favorite Barry Horowitz match in WCW. It's freaking great. Benoit gives Horowitz 60% of the match, smack dab in the middle of Benoit thick in the TV Title hunt. Benoit is a guy finally getting up the card, and he's somehow generously giving Barry Horowitz a chance to showcase all of his genuinely great offense. It was 10 days after Barry's 38th birthday. Had Benoit felt bad about forgetting Barry's birthday, and thus decided to gift him the longest stretch of offense in his career? Whatever the reason, it was the best. Barry chokes him with his boot, throws an awesome headbutt you don't remember him throwing, sinks a nice knee, crisp legdrop, rakes Benoit's back like a motherfucker, comes off like an old territory legend. Surely Benoit eventually takes over with a hard back elbow, snap suplex, and big diving headbutt, but Horowitz looked like a guy who really belonged and completely crushed it in a nice late career opportunity. Made me love that guy even more. Worldwide Classic right here.

Scott Louden vs. Fit Finlay

ER: Scott Louden: Man Who Gets An Actual Ring Entrance and Onscreen Graphic. Who the hell is Scott Louden? He looks kinda like Bob Backlund if Backlund weren't fanatical about his workouts, but his singlet game is on. Yellow and black singlet with a tornado on the back, and STO on the leg. Was this guy some gaijin used by UFO? Florida indy guy? Also, Schiavone calls Penzer "Dave Lonely Man Penzer". That rules. This is a complete majestic mauling by Finlay, 3.5 minutes of ass kicking. Louden is a bit bigger than Finlay but his entire match-long offense consisted of catching Finlay with a kick to the stomach as Finlay charged the corner. The rest of this was what you wanted, Finlay roughing some dude up. He dekes him a couple times, makes him think they were doing a collar and elbow but ducked aside and dished a knee to Louden's gut, and later he held onto the ropes on an Irish whip and Louden missed a dropkick in one of those "I don't think HE thought he was missing" ways. The rest of this man, Louden may as well have been a bag of yard trimmings. Finlay hits the hardest short arm clothesline possible, kicks him in the spine THREE different times in the match, hard body slams, big bombs away, big kneedrop, all done with the expected vicious precision that makes Finlay the best. His rolling fireman's carry into snapped off Tombstone are an awesome finisher 1-2. RIP Louden. You couldn't have drawn a much worse name for your appearance.

Leroy Howard vs. Goldberg

ER: Howard was Rastaman in BattlArts, and he regularly gets put in with tough dudes in WCW, but it's frustrating as he never actually gets to do anything against them. He would have been a really fun semi-competitive job guy on WCW C shows, there were lamer guys who got more offense in than him. But this match is the exact thing that every single person in the building wanted to see. Goldberg no sells a hard shoulderblock from Howard, and then it's basically the spear into the jackhammer, and people are just losing their shit. Every single person went home talking about how awesome that spear and jackhammer were, it likely didn't even matter what else was on this taping.

Kendall Windham vs. Tim Cheeks

ER: Damn they are not letting the results of these matches be much in doubt. WCW had like 300 guys on the roster, how are Tim Cheeks and Scott Louden breaking into TV matches? But Kendall Windham is secure as fuck in his wrestling ability, he's got that Windham boys confidence and that Windham boys generosity. Windham gave Cheeks a lot of moments here, including a big comeback pop. He ate a couple hip tosses from Cheeks, missed THREE different elbowdrops over the course of the match to allow Cheeks back on offense, and Cheeks got to come up after one of those missed elbowdrops and hit a big clothesline and fire up the crowd. Windham made the guy look on his level, which is awesome. Cheeks dodged a corner charge from Windham by moonsaulting off the top and landing on his feet, and later misses a springboard crossbody that I certainly wasn't expecting him to attempt. Kendall let the guy shine a bit, and the rest of the time smothered him with uppercuts, great body shots, an awesome diving lariat, and finished him off with a great classic bulldog. Kendall rules.

Villano IV/Villano V vs. Disorderly Conduct

ER: Well this is totally great. You've never seen more Disorderly Conduct offense in a match, which is something all of you should watch. This is fun as hell and go go go, WCW syndie tags are always so good at time management, so much good action always packed into just a few minutes. V5 hits a couple hard lariats, one sending Tom to the floor, just these nice stiff arm lefts. Late in the match he hits an awesome flying clothesline on both Mean Mike and Tough Tom. Both teams make frequent tags, both attack nicely from the apron, crowd doesn't care who they're supposed to be booing as they cheer both teams on. The result is up for grabs as neither of these teams beat anybody (my brain gets excited for things like that while watching old WCW, helps out my constantly updating WCW hierarchy depth chart). V5 is working this more like a stiff brawler, V4 is going for more elegant lucha, hitting a crossblock and some spinning kicks. DO are good asskickers here, guys that know how to drop a nice elbow and hit a nice shoulderblock. Mike misses a charge in the corner, Tom gets dropkicked to the floor, and Los Villanos hit a Doomsday Device crossbody, and really stick it. Crowd was amped for all of this, and this brisk 4-5 minute tag really needs to be adopted by WWE as a TV formula. They really unnecessarily slow things down at times, but I know that teams could adapt to this style. There's no reason why most teams in WWE can't be as consistently fun as Disorderly Conduct.

Reese vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

ER: Man I don't care, Reese vs. Hacksaw was pretty good. Reese is huge and really didn't make TV a ton, and I'm a guy into freakshow stuff. Reese locks in a big bearhug (you obviously need to do a bearhug if you're 7' tall) and Duggan bites his face to get out of it, also goes for a huge big man elbow drop, and squishes Duggan in the corner with his butt. Duggan throws nice big swinging lefts and rights, slams into the big man a couple times, upends him with a lariat and drops a good enough knee.  This was a fun big boys battle. But it's pretty funny how Hacksaw was in the main event of a show that had freaking Goldberg on it, as late as June 1998, 3 weeks before the Georgia Dome main event.


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WWE Survivor Series 2016 (Not Quite) Live Blog

Saw some friends in town from Australia and got momentarily obsessed with the new show The Killing Season, so got home a little after the show started, but I'm here now and starting it from the beginning! Brand supremacy is incredibly stupid!

1. Ariya Daivari, Drew Gulak & Tony Nese vs. Rich Swann, Noam Dar & TJ Perkins

Still a bummer we don't get Gallagher and have been getting Dar, but at least Gallagher's picture has been in the 205 Live lineup. Pre-PPV matches always have a hot crowd because people are just excited to see live wrestling, and this match is immediately ice cold. People DO NOT care about the cruiserweight division, likely because they threw all of these guys onto TV cold and just said "here are cruiserweights!!!" The word "cruiserweight" probably doesn't even mean a whole lot to most current fans. They weren't the ones whining about the nWo interrupting WCW lucha matches 20 years ago. And this match is weird. They're presented as cruiserweights but then they go out there and put on a standard WWE TV match with guys being put into arm locks that won't go anywhere. The whole thing was pretty flat. Gulak did things I liked, but he doesn't have the flash to get over in a 6 man like this. Dar shows us how bad of a catcher he is, the ref stops TJ doing a dive for no reason whatsoever, Swann hits the ugliest standing 450 that he's ever hit. This whole thing shouldn't get anybody excited for 205 Live, which is a shame.

2. Kane vs. Luke Harper

Oooooo a bonus kickoff match! And Kane hits the chinlock to start the match! This whole thing is pretty chinlock-y. Harper gets some moments of nice clubbing, some neat short knees to Kane's head, a big senton that the crowd dug. Kane is pretty sluggish here. Realllly going through some motions. JBL makes a dud of a Walking Dead reference. This was a lot of nothing and naturally you gotta keep Kane strong. He looked really really slow and bad here.

3. Bayley, Alicia Fox, Nia Jax, Sasha Banks & Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch, Naomi, Alexa Bliss, Carmella & Natalya

I think most of this PPV will be individual entrances. Nikki was attacked backstage by an unknown assailant (maybe the return of Midnight!?!?) and replaced by Natalya. Natalya and Nikki confuse me, because I watch Total Divas with Rachel, and that has to be a scripted show. But in these backstage "acting" segments both (especially Natalya) are such terrible actresses, in a way that never shows up on Total Divas. Are the situations scripted and not actual words? Because Nattie is completely unconvincing whenever she has to act. I didn't really get into this match until the Carmella/Fox segment, oddly. I liked the way they matched up. Bliss hits a neat moonsault to quickly eliminate Foxy though. I like Jax but man was it a dumb choice for her to wear a big red Raw shirt. Couldn't they have just made her some red accessories for her outfit? Her and Naomi match up nice with Nia absorbing a big crossbody to the floor, and Naomi bumping big on the floor as Jax destroys her. I do hate how these eliminations just come so quickly. Natalya is really getting the weird push suddenly, with her just steamrolling Sasha and then dominating Charlotte, until Charlotte hit one kick to eliminate her. Really hard to get too into this match where every single pairing has just ended with someone getting eliminated. Hardly any tag outs or drama, just new pairing, new elimination. Becky takes an eternity to set up an armbar and somehow Jax just taps to it. Man this match is really bad. No flow whatsoever. Bliss gets eliminate as I type that. This suuuuuucks. Half the stuff Lynch does looks really good. She always throws a nice legdrop (all the variations), some of her suplexes are great. But sometimes her move set up can take an eternity. The Bayley to Belly really did not look like a "killshot" move. Lynch took like 90% of their segment together and Bayley just wins the match with one suplex. This was terrible. I've made a terrible choice.

4. The Miz vs. Sami Zayn

This is a real nice, hot match. I don't love either guy but they're matching up really well in this one. The small knee selling work is good and Zayn ramps up the selling after hitting a Blue Thunder Bomb. Maryse interjecting herself on the floor was great and her work and timing as a second is always worth watching. She knows when to hold back and has great reactions (her whipping her arm around while Miz is locking on the figure 4 is Wendell Kim-esque in it's animated excitement). Zayn locking on the figure 4 was a little clunky, with Miz pulling his own leg into position to help him out and we all knew there would be some sort of masturbatory '97 reference on this show, because they can't help themselves. If there HAD to be an SS97 spot this was probably the best case scenario, as the cut over to Maryse ringing it was great. Overall match was good. But damn at this point I'm pretty sure they just book shows in Canada so that they can rub the SS97 finish in their face. They're like a guy who had awful 90 second teenage summer camp sex with a girl who then sends her a letter every couple years reminding her of it.

5. Enzo Amore & Big Cass/The Shining Stars/Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows/Sheamus & Cesaro/New Day vs. Heath Slater & Rhyno/Breezango/Usos/Hype Bros/American Alpha

I don't mind Enzo and Cass yammering on for several minutes, as it allows me to FF with zero hesitation and attempt to get closer to live. Cesaro's dinner jacket/carnation look amazing, but he really needs that shit to be tearaway. Who takes a jacket off over their head? I like whenever Michael Cole slips up and says "Hype Brothers", but sadly he's not on commentary here. I don't know why it makes me laugh. Is there an ECW chant? We immediately start with two different eliminations. "This changes everything!!" Probably not. Gallows punches in the corner on Mojo looked really great, and Anderson throws an awesome knee to Ryder's face. Gallows and Anderson appear to get better as WWE's interest in them gets lesser. These matches are the pits with all the fast eliminations. How are these pins not being broken up!? Everybody has fucking 8 partners just standing there watching. And they all look like total goobers in their branded shirts. Primo does a cool weird bump in the corner that ends with his leg getting hooked. Man the way every single person tonight is getting eliminated after one move of offense, I'd be terrified to get in the ring. Does everybody have a fucking bus to catch or something? Slater's stage dive off the top looked great. But it's really hard to care about any of this. Not one once of psychology. I much rather would have seen a normal tag match between any of these teams. Usos vs. Sheamus/Cesaro for 10 minutes would be really good. Almost none of this match was good.

6. Kalisto vs. Brian Kendrick

Really fun start to this one, especially the "Kendrick using environment" spots: Holding onto ropes, the funky schoolboy into the bottom turnbuckle, kicking Kalisto's trapped body in the ring steps, but really anything he does has looked good. Kendrick breaks out a nasty back suplex and a cravate, and I loved Kalisto's fast head and arm drag to try and shake the cravate. Kendrick makes leg kicks look good and is really smart with his rope usage without getting cutesy. And then they break out the Spanish Fly from the apron which is pretty crazy, and then Kendrick catches Kalisto's tope in a really awesome way, just completely getting barreled over. This is really fun. This is really a PPV with some fun singles matches and horrible multimans. Damn that headlock takeover to set up the bully choke was sick. Really got into all of Kendrick's choke, with Kalisto gamely fighting to the ropes. Kendrick looks really great in this, even landing a vicious diving axe handle. When was the last time you saw a nasty axe handle? Kalisto's offense is really benefitting from Kendrick too. Nobody whips their head into the mat for Kalisto's kneeling rana quite like Kendrick. Well, that finish blew and I was not expecting to see Kendrick win. So the cruisers are staying on Raw....but 205 Live will be taped after Smackdown? How will any of that work?

7. Shane MacMahon, Bray Wyatt, Randy Orton, AJ Styles & Dean Ambrose vs. Braun Strowman, Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, Chris Jericho & Kevin Owens

They're starting this off really slow which makes me think this is getting way more time than the other (terrible) elimination matches. Not tons to comment on at first, except for Shane's goofiest punches ever. It was nice to see Jericho's missile dropkick catch Shane right in the jaw. He is far and away the easiest guy to root against in this match. Is windbreaker pants really the best he can do for ring gear? How is the casual fan supposed to feel about him? He's supposed to be some kind of legend, right? Yuck. Ambrose hits a really nice lariat on Owens, then whiffs by a few feet on a tope that I think was supposed to not whiff. Styles hits a pretty wild flying elbow to the floor, Owens hits a nice fat guy senton to the floor and eats a back breaker over the barrier. This is actually pretty fun. Strowman kicks Shane in the face and I love it. Shane almost hangs himself clotheslining Braun over. Looked sloppy as hell, but the sloppiness gave it a nice reckless feel. Oh my but those Shane punches in the corner are the shittiest. Graves sucks the company dick and calmly puts over all the time Shane spends in the boxing gym. Good lord Braun tries to murder AJ by throwing him over the top to the floor, and either threw him too short or too far and AJ takes a nutso bump rolling over the top rope backwards to the floor. Good gravy. Much as I will continue to root against him, Shane's elbow through Braun on the announce table looked awesome, and Ellsworth grabbing Braun's leg to keep him out of the ring was a pretty clever way to keep Braun strong-yet-eliminated, and about the best use of Ellsworth. Also a good use of Ellsworth, having Braun launch him off the ramp through a table. Why were there pizza boxes on a table next to the entrance ramp? Who was just sitting there eating pizza and couldn't clean up his garbage? Somebody on the ring crew is going to have to leave an anonymous comic sans note asking people to clean up after themselves.

Shane commits on a missed dropkick and nicely sneaks in knees to counter a Lionsault. His timing on getting the knees up was really good. Damn Jericho slamming AJ's head into the mat looked nasty, just grabbing him by the hair and violently slamming the back of his head into the mat. The stuff with the clipboard was all realllllly stupid. The match goes 30 minutes with only 2 eliminations, and two guys go out because of the clipboard. That's really dumb you guys. Fuck I hate that I've actually liked a lot of Shane's stuff in this match. He's eaten several nice Reigns punches, and then flies wildly off the top rope into a spear. Though Reigns wasn't totally accounting for the weight and almost spiked his own head. It looked like Shane nailed him with a DDT. Oh, and they're sort of selling it that way, so that works for me. Some of his awful punches aside, Shane has clearly looked better than Rollins in this match, at minimum. Orton has been in like 30 seconds of this now 40+ minute match. I've actually been surprisingly into this whole match but it's finally starting to drag for me. But that's okay because it's over!! It looks like this has been getting pretty roundly shit on, and yeah there really wasn't any psychology outside of "These guys were randomly picked to be on one show, these were picked to be on the other show, they have zero alliances, but this time it counts!!!" So that's really stupid. Nobody actually cares about "brand supremacy". And yes a lot of this was constructed as valiant hero Shane fighting the odds. But I thought this was totally fine. Long as hell, but I was never bored. Not glowing praise I know, but this was definitely not as bad as some are making it out to be.

8. Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

I understand the modern medical age we live in, but I still am amazed that 50 year old Goldberg looks essentially the same as he did 16 years ago. Goatee is whiter. That's it. I'm kind of foolishly excited for this one. And HOLY SHIT THEY BOOKED A SQUASH!! THAT was not the finish I was expecting. The whole build up I've been asking "how is a 50 year old who hasn't worked in 12 years going to get thrown around by Lesnar??" and then they go and have Goldberg squash him. Two spears, jackhammer, done. I'm kind reeling, and don't totally know if this was the stupidest way to book this, or the smartest. Lesnar has dominated almost everybody for 18 months, and now a guy who hasn't wrestled in 12 years beats him in 90 seconds. This has to send a terrible message to every single full time wrestler. BUT it also kind of makes sense that the first big Lesnar loss in ages would come in Warrior/Honky Tonk fashion. Just totally surprise Lesnar and mow through him, don't let him even get to suplex city. BUT then you go right back to thinking that there were other guys that are actually ON the roster that they could have booked to do that. This program is over, right? Goldberg isn't sticking around? So does Lesnar go back to dominating the actual roster and they just stop talking about how Goldberg came back, squashed him, and now Lesnar is right back to being better than the regular roster? I don't know!!! It seems kind of dumb and kind of hilarious but was also kind of awesome. I bet nobody was expecting this finish, which is amusing and I was certainly left with my jaw dropped. They built this up for like 2 months!! And then it takes 90 seconds and they go "Thanks for watching, universe!!" This is like one of those UFC fights that get 24/7 type specials, crazy build up, and then someone catches a high kick one minute in. So ridiculous.

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My Favorite Wrestling! WCW Worldwide 11/9/97

1. Mark Starr vs. Goldberg

Wow, the fans are booing Goldberg as he comes out. Old ladies are giving him the thumbs down. That means that they were giving Mark Starr the thumbs up right before this. How bizarre is that taken out of context? Look into the future just a couple months and see where Goldberg is. But here he is on Worldwide getting booed by old ladies. The match isn't much but it's really fun seeing a huge era in its infancy, maybe the last time that WCW got something right. You can tell that they knew what they were doing here. They couldn't have known just how big he was going to be, but it's really satisfying knowing that they at least had a plan and were seeing it through. Brain and Tony were talking big things for Goldberg the whole match, saying how he was gonna win WW3 and fight for the title. He was already using the "Who's Next?" catchphrase after the match. They were already putting over the spear and jackhammer finish. Goldberg has a nice powerslam here, and shows some major power by deadlifting Starr a couple times...and also awkwardly stands around for large amounts of time, just waiting for...stuff to happen. But again, it's really fun to see such a major part of wrestling history in its infancy.

2. Mike Rapada vs. Scott Hall

Damn, it's kind of crazy that guys like Hall were still appearing on Worldwide at this point (and in the 2nd match of the show!). I'd bet serious money that nobody anywhere near as big as Hall appeared on Worldwide from '98 to the end. And by the way this squash was really fun. Rapada got absolutely zero offense, but bumped HUGE for Hall, and Hall and Syxx stiffed the bejesus out of him. Hall threw some of the nastiest punches of his career, threw a corner clothesline so stiff that Tony and Bobby couldn't stop talking about it, Syxx cheated constantly and played it up to the crowd great (punching Rapada and then blowing on his fist, elbowing him on the apron and then hamming it up by shaking out his elbow). This is what a jobber squash should be.

3. Scott & Steve Armstrong vs. Harlem Heat

It's been kind of eye opening how bad Harlem Heat were in retrospect. It's no revelation that Stevie Ray looks bad in the ring, but I had really fond views on Booker before starting this. I remembered the Benoit matches, the Saturn and Martel matches, and generally liked his WWE run. But boy has he looked pretty lousy upon rewatch. I don't think I could name 5 sloppier guys in the promotion. He must have just had a really great Jan/Feb '98 and that's where my brain froze. All that being said, the match was alright. HH looked bleh, but they worked stiff so it kind of made up for it. Armstrongs are always game but really they weren't given tons here.

4. Shiima Nobunaga/Sumo Fuji vs. Meng/Barbarian

Well this was fun. The FoF squash the Toryumon boys for 4+ minutes, and while they no sold their offense the whole way through, they still allowed the boys do at least do stuff. CIMA hits a bunch of slick dropkicks, Fuji gets to actually work shoulder block sequences with Barbarian (and holds his own!) and the FoF throw tons of big boots to the face, big chops and big slams.

5. Renegade vs. Steve McMichael

Yeah, yeah. You see those two names up there and you know it's not going to be very good, right? Renegade walks out first and you go "Oh. Renegade is in the main event. Huh." And then Mongo comes out and you just kinda know what you're in for. And you know? It wasn't very good. But really this wasn't *that* bad. This was probably the best match these two are capable of, and that has to be worth something. It's almost 5 minutes, and the main thing that stood out to me was that they didn't rest at all. No chin locks. I've gotten so used to 4 minute WWE matches that no matter what have to include a chinlock transition to comeback, that it was kind of jarring seeing two big guys work a 5 minute sprint. Yeah, some of the moves didn't look good. Renegade looks like he couldn't punch through paper. But for what it was, an actual fast paced match between a couple of lugs, this worked for me.

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My Favorite Wrestling: WCW Worldwide 7/4/98

My favorite way to watch my favorite wrestling is to just grab a random disc out of the stacks, no cherry picking, no looking up matchlistings, just going in blind. Sometimes you get bent over hard and end up sitting through Stevie Ray vs. Konnan, and other times Orion smiles upon you and you get a gloriously random mix of the most fun wrestling ever. So I went into the vaults and pulled out 7/4/98, the 222nd birthday of this great nation of ours. And WCW wished America happy birthday with one weird fucking episode.

1. Vincent vs. Marty Jannetty

First off, Marty fucking Jannetty (!) gets a clean pin over a member of the nWo halfway through 1998! WHAT!? Vincent looked awesome here, hitting an assortment of fistdrops and "Hitman" style elbow drops. Then Jannetty somehow gets the win. Insane. Did not see that coming. That's one of the great things about syndicated WCW, is that you get weird hierarchy matches between people that you've never seen win one match. Who wins a match between Van Hammer and Scott Vick? There are often no foregone conclusions with these matches. I didn't even know Marty was employed this late, let alone winning matches.

2. Lenny Lane vs. Spike Moore

Spike Moore was a guy I have NEVER seen before. He was wearing a pirate skull shirt and kinda looked like Droz. Match was close to getting the full point, before Lenny sold a roll up like a clothesline and then they just awkwardly cut to a finish. Moore hit his shoulderblocks really hard and looked decent. I could not find any information on the guy. Anybody?

3. Magnum Tokyo vs. Bobby Blaze

Blaze threw some fine suplexes and Tokyo grinded his crotch in Blaze's face a bunch, and Larry Zybszko kept calling Magnum "The Japanese". What? Really? This match could not take place anywhere else.

4. Villanos vs. High Voltage

THIS was totally awesome, with Villanos looking great as always, and RAGE and KAOS hitting their fun springboard power moves and bumping shockingly well. RAGE and KAOS were a pretty damn fun team looking back. I remember enjoying Rage's NJPW stint earlier this decade, but didn't remember if he was any good or not. For a team that jobbed constantly in WCW, the Villanos always seem to get put over strong on commentary and by their opponents. Teams always give them a bunch of offense (even if there's usually quite a size difference). Shoot, Brian Knobbs had a competitive 8 minute match against one of them, and most heavyweight workers don't get that much of a rub from Hogan friends. Good times.

5. John Nord vs. Goldberg

WHAT THE FUCK was Goldberg doing on WORLDWIDE in the middle of 1998!?!?!?!?!? Was this taped in like 1997!? Why was John Nord wrestling in 1998!? What the hell was happening here? I love you WCW!!!

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FAR FROM CLASSIC TOMK- throwaway comments written about a bunch of matches in 2004

Ahh 2004 and I was full of optimism about the future of the heavyweight Pro-Wrestling. Its almost sad looking back on my optimism.

"Between this [ Ogawa v. Goldberg] and Takayama vs. Nakamura 2004 really started out on a good foot in terms of heavyweight wrestling."

Goldberg burnt out on wrestling and now does MMA commentary. Ogawa really doesn't do "wrestling" anymore.JBL retired. Takayama went down for a couple years and who knows to what degree he'll recover.

And the two people who's work most excited me in 2004 are dead.

some stuff here I still stand by, other stuff not so much...

Takeshi Morishima vs. Jun Izumida (NOAH 3/13/04)

Man Izumida is on this ridiculous hot streak. Normally when guys who stunk get good after ten years it's cause they simplify, drop silly stuff, work tighter. Izumida has taken the opposite tack and just gone on an offensive tear. Ridiculous. Plus all of Izumida's old Tenzan'ish (headbutts, mongolian chops) offense is also looking really crisp lately. And yeah I'll say it best diving headbutt in the business today.

Chris Benoit vs. Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels - WWE World Heavyweight Title (WWE 3/14/04)

Cooey seems to like the early exchanges in this. I have no idea what he sees in those. The rest of match is all about the Benoit crowd heat. The crowd heat was awesome, but what made it so awesome is it was all about the crowd turning on the story of the match. Shawn Michaels goes for the WWE I hit opponent’s offense and hits a laughable German suplex in what was laid out as a "we are equal" faces spot. Crowd boos. Crowd boos any time anyone but Benoit is on offense. Crowd doesn't want to see the match that's been laid out for them. Crowd heat cool, actual match not much.


Eddie Guerrero vs. John Bradshaw Layfield - WWE Heavyweight Title (WWE 5/16/04)

This is your WWE match of the year.

How does one work as a World Title Holder?

Ric Flair gets a lot of crit on the net for the way he worked as champ. It's asked "Why is he begging off from Ricky Morton?"

Hogan doesn't get the same criticism. As he either gets criticized because his formula was stale, or praised for work as "strong champion". I've never understood the second as one of goofiest things in any Hogan match is the "I have to lose the beginning of test of strength segment". You have the biggest guns in wrestling, why is Bob Orton, Lanny Poffo or the Bossman powering you down? Why do you have to dig deep to win test of strength with Adrian Adonis? Stupid.

Kobashi gets some crit for his championship work against guys who aren't on his level. He can't find way to make lesser opponents credible unless they work same work the leg formula. Why does everyone have to work Kobashi same way? Rikio spends entire match working the leg until he starts throwing bombs. It's Rikio why not throw bombs from start. Sano beats Akiyama by just destroying his ribs. That’s what gets him to the title challenge. But he never does that in the title challenge itself.

Helmsley doesn't know how to sell for opponents.

Eddy Guerrero has figured out how to work a match against lesser opponent. Whole match is based on Eddie being the better wrestler and Bradshaw just not being at his level. All of the offense, all of the selling is built around that. Just a fucking great Championship match.

When I watched Eddy vs. Lesnar I remember thinking that I liked the way two worked together and would have liked to have seen them work a series.

Eddy vs. Bradshaw was better than that although I have really no interest in seeing the series. Unfortunately that’s what I'm stuck with. Still 5/16/04 is your WWE match that should make this or any list.

KENTA vs. Jun Izumida (NOAH 6/11/04)

Izumida works as poor mans short Hashimoto, Kenta works as Kenta. They do a spot where Kenta hurts his shins doing Kawada kicks to Izu’s head. I hope Kawada and Jamal work that same spot. I like old school AJ, love count out post dive lucha falls....I'm big fan of count out finishes. Liked the Hash v Vader count out finish which the crowd turned on. Izu vs. Kenta, best worked count out finish this year.

Kaz Hayashi vs. TAKA Michinoku - AJPW World Jr. Heavyweight Title (AJPW 2/22/04)

Who would have thunk. Two guys who I think of as being natural heels. Two guys who started out in lucha inspired juniors promotions. Working AJ-they work what felt like really good AJ juniors style match. This wasn't no NJ goofball juniors. This wasn't Toryumon meta-lucha. This was AJ juniors match, with AJ juniors style selling trace-ing line back to Fuchi vs. Kikuchi. Who would have thunk it.

Kawada vs. Hashimoto (AJPW 2/22/04)

The new thing that Hashimoto has brought to Japanese heavyweight wrestling is Ole Anderson, Ricky Steamboat bodypart selling.

Yeah there used to be you worked on body part for submission or the old school AJ body part work was lead in to throwing bombs (i.e. you weren't going to be able to throw opponent until you had weakened through body part work).

Hashimoto says we do bodypart work like Steamboat. Hash and Kawada are both broken down guys coming into this match and that adds to the epic feel of it. One of the things you realize by watching Kawada out of AJ, is that Kawada is short. Kawada is shorter than Ohtani, shorter than Kohei Sato. Dwarfed by the likes of Noaya Ogawa. He's short guy coming into ring with Hashimoto. But hell, Hashimoto worked credible singles match against Liger he can do it with Kawada. Whole match is built around Hashimoto's arm vs. Kawada's leg. If the two worked a match pre injuries it would have had a ton of suplexes. It doesn't need them anymore as its all about the bodyparts.

Hashimoto is alot better at the bodypart selling and work here but Kawada really steps up to the plate figuring out how to work this style. And besides which when Kawada no sells, the audience has to recognize "his leg is sleight screwed up" ...thus his fighting spirit no sells seem well like either legit fighting spirit or more often a game face to show no intimidation from opponent. Kawada does that alot here grimacing followed by putting on a game face, there are these great moments where he moves like an old man struggling to get out of bed and then just fights to try to hide that on his face.

Epic match. Everything I wanted out of meeting of these two.

Naoya Ogawa vs. Bill Goldberg (Hustle 1 1/4/04)

Speaking of selling, the weird thing about Ogawa in Zero-One is that he's become all about the selling. In all the endless mediocre Ogawa/Hashimoto vs. shitty guys tag matches. It's Ogawa who always plays face in peril while Hashimoto works hot tag. It's Ogawa working Kikuchi to Hashimoto as Kobashi. Not a role that anyone would've picked Ogawa for five years back. Somehow through this Ogawa has gotten actually good. He's limited in that he has a WWE superstar’s offensive depth. He has about three really over offense moves. And he’s able to sell between that. Goldberg also not a guy with a lot of depth of offense. Both have really over offense spots but not a lot of them. The two come together in ring and just feel like they were made for each other. Between this and Takayama vs. Nakamura 2004 really started out on a good foot in terms of heavyweight wrestling.

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