Found Footage Friday: EDDIE~! JANNETTY~! COLT~! GANG~! REY~! GERMANY~!

MD: Going to finish out last month's Richard Land Germany knowing we've got some 81 footage to go through too (Rudge vs. Bret Hart for one).

9/6/80

Axel Dieter vs. Kim Duk

MD: Just a clip. We come in JIP. We get no finish. It's almost entirely Duk chopping Dieter with karate strikes. Overhand shots. I've seen a lot of Duk between Germany and Puerto Rico and that one cool Korea match that came up last year. And he can be very good. He really can. And we get flashes of that here right at the end when he's scrapping with Dieter who's firing back. The chops are quicker. They hit harder. He's actually trying to cut a resurgent warrior off instead of just marking time. Usually though, I find him lacking and I did in the first bit here. He's relatively big and has a great look and a clear personality and he just does the bare minimum to limited effect a lot of the times. But when it is time to go, he goes hard. Not much here.

Sal Bellomo/Achim Chall vs. Jim Harris/Tom Shaft

MD: Something of a slight tag but another look at Shaft and another chance to see Pre-Kamala Harris. There was some tomfoolery early where neither Harris nor Shaft wanted to be in there (past one shaky bit at the start, Harris fed pretty well for early shine), but as you can imagine, Harris was able to take over fairly quickly. It was interesting to see him do the handshake with one hand behind is back on his knees deal, which led to the transition. He had a misunderstanding with the ref. Due to the nature of the rules, you have to connect a pin to your last move in some way shape or form. His big splash defied that and he had to make sure to get in an extra bodyslam and quick pin to win the fall. Shaft did not impress. He could grind someone down but whenever he tried to do anything more (like a butt butt where he barely got off the ground) it just lacked oomph and energy. 

Not much to say about the faces. Bellomo took massive back body drops here and Chall came in hot on the hot tag. Good strikes. Bellomo won the second fall with a body block but everything got thrown out, with the heels getting DQed for illegal double teaming early into the final fall. More educational than entertaining overall.

9/13/80

Chris Colt vs. Louis Lawrence

MD: I knew how great Chris Colt was. I've seen him in a bunch of different territories, right? But watching him in these German matches is a whole different beast. He's itchy. That's the word. He wrestles like he's seeing colors wherever he looks and it's wild. Everything he does is worth watching, whether it's strutting around the ring as he's being announced or pointing at the ref, paranoid, between rounds. At the end of one round he was trying to get out of a headlock with roll ups and lifts where he got taken over, and he just decided to lay there in the middle of the ring once the bell rang. Lawrence had to come over and pour water on him and then he freaked out. Constant motion, constant manic energy, just fascinating to watch.

Lawrence, unfortunately, was not fascinating to watch, but I guess he provided a sane baseline for everything going on around him. There was one point where he just put him in a cross toehold for a few minutes and Colt WAS entertaining in it but they could have been doing a hundred more entertaining things. Finish was pretty hilarious as Colt guided the ref to the ropes to look out so he could climb them to do an elbow drop off the top. But the ref only looked for a second. It clearly didn't work. Just a "Look over there" that was futile, but the ref let him get away with it anyway. Maybe it was legal there and he thought it wasn't? Who knows? Anyway every match we get with him here is well worth watching.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Marty Jannetty ECW Enter Sandman 5/13/95

ER: We only had this (already short) match in very clipped form, and now we have all six minutes. Eddie had wrestled a 30 minute draw earlier in the night against Malenko and who could say what could ever have happened in that one. Maybe someday we'll get to see any of the Malenko/Guerrero matches but for now I'll watch this unclipped match for the first time and...see why ECW originally clipped it so much. This isn't that great! That's unexpected! This is one of those times where I was really hoping for a hot go go go short match, two guys who can work some speed and never otherwise wrestled, and instead it's kind of slow and sleepy and structurally confused. Eddie seemed tired and Marty worked down to his sleepy foe. Eddie and Dean had jerked each other off for a half hour earlier but Joey Styles wasn't pushing Eddie being tired from an earlier match whatsoever on commentary, so I guess this was just a couple quick guys working at 75%. Eddie pokes Marty in the eyes and scrapes his boot across his face but otherwise does nothing else heelish. Heatless backslides, ramp up that doesn't ramp, never reaches drama. Eddie's snapped off huracanrana finish looked good. Great leg hooking. 

One Man Gang vs. Flash Flanagan WWF 2/3/98

MD: Gang dark match. He had dropped some weight from his peak and was up against Flash Flanagan. My big takeaway is that he had a lot to add to the company if they were to bring him in but that this match didn't necessarily serve him. He worked the crowd well. His clubbers looked great. He had pretty decent presence. He shouted out "Shut your hole" which popped everyone. He gave Flash a ton though, and while it was generally earned, it was probably too much and serving too many masters. I think the fans saw the two of them too differently and it didn't do Flash any favors. If he had to work from underneath even more and had to really scrape for every inch he got it would have done him better and I think it would have served the match (and Gang) too. Kind of weird what might have been here. You could see him all over the card, the lost member of DOA, an Oddity, or the third man in a Bossman/Shamrock Corporation trio?

ER: I love getting a look at these dark/tryout matches because some of them are good, some of them aren't, and some of them are weird. This one was kind of weird, as it was laid out almost like a double showcase. I"m not certain it did a good job of showcasing Gang, but it played like a Flash Flanagan babyface showcase while also playing as a "here are all of my various skills" showcase for Gang. By that, I mean it felt like Gang was showing every thing that he could possibly do, without necessarily putting that into a coherent match. Think of it like someone auditioning for SNL by doing a bunch of impressions rather than doing a tight set utilizing those impressions. This was slower than it should have been, because it felt like Gang showing his entire skillset, in order. You can see how he works a crowd or gets verbal with a ref, you see what offense he can do, then you see how good he is at taking and selling offense. Some of Gang's offense looked great: he drops a pair of sick elbowdrops that are, quite frankly, perfect, he gets his boot up in the corner right to Flanagan's chin and gets an audible OOF from the crowd, and his follow up clothesline following through to his knees looked great.  

But I don't think I expected, going into this, how much more valuable Gang would be at putting over a fired up babyface. He was fantastic at taking and selling Flash's offense. Part of it was that Flash Flanagan had great offense. His missile dropkick is strong (Gang hangs in the whole way and takes it to the chest), and he has a cool springboard dropkick that starts in the ring and gets aimed at Gang in the corner. He has several kinds of nice punches and is great at "punching up" to the much larger Gang. He even has a couple big back elbows that looked like they would indeed move a guy Gang's size. But I don't think Flash's offense works as well without a guy selling it as well as Gang. This wasn't just about bumping, it's about being a humongous man believably getting knocked around by a smaller heavyweight, and Gang was so good at getting punched around into place. But he topped it all with a ridiculous spot where he gets hung up across the corner ropes like Shawn Michaels and splashed repeatedly by Flash until falling to the mat. I loved it, never seen anything like it before. A man the size of One Man Gang using the rope corners like a hammock alone looked absurd, but every time Flash hit him his large body would get rearranged into a different hilarious position. Body sagging, legs propped up like legs that size never are, finally falling gracelessly to the mat. Ridiculous. 

I would have loved One Man Gang in 1998 WWF, even if he was just a guy working Sunday Night Heat. Reuniting the slimmed down Twin Towers would have been booking directly to me, and with Gang recently on the payroll it would have made them more likely to bring the Towers back as a triumphant patriotic babyface team at the end of 2001. 

 

Eddie Guerrero/Kurt Angle/Edge vs. Undertaker/Kane/Rey Mysterio WWE 7/2/05

MD: Enough of a lost Japan house show match to write about certainly. We miss a huge amount of it but we get the beginning and the end and there's plenty to see. For one thing, this might have been the best use of Kane ever. He was tagged in early when Guerrero and Angle were basically trying to throw Edge under the bus. They had dodged Rey and Edge thought he was going in to face him only to get Kane. Lots of goofing around and it's all entertaining as the characters crash up against each other. Best part might have been Eddie trying for a sneak attack only to run when Kane turned his head. When Eddy finally gets in there, the crowd tries to encourage him which is all very funny. 

For what actual action we see, we get a good Eddie and Rey exchange where Eddie bases all over the place for him and then Edge feeding and feeding for Undertaker and that's pretty much what he's best at so it all works for me. It's much preferable to things being the other way around. Then we come back for the finish where Eddie got to goof against all the babyfaces and the ref with a chair. House shows are the best sort of wrestling? Sure seems it.

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Found Footage Friday: LOST 1990 WWF HOUSE SHOW~!

WWF House Show Wisconsin Fieldhouse 10/28/90

ER: I love these "undocumented" WWF house shows so much. It's like they never existed, WWF out here running secret shows in podunk towns. Matt and I wrote about a WWF Boy Scout Fundraiser show from '92, which is one of my favorite show reviews we've ever done for Segunda Caida. These shows are special. The WWF showing up in some nothing central Wisconsin town with $9 tickets sold at the local hardware store, like when some mudshow Harlem Clowns barnstormers played members my small childhood town's fire and police departments in our high school gymnasium. I was $9, my dad took me and a couple friends, and we laughed when this one Healdsburg, CA cop kept getting Clowned. I had no idea who the Harlem Clowns were before but saw the ads in our local paper, the Healdsburg Tribune, and Healdsburg wasn't a place that got "events". We were going to a town event, like when the fair would come to town. That's the best part about a show like this: It's not filmed as a wrestling show. It's filmed as a Town Event. WWF sold cheap tickets to a show at Marshfield, Wisconsin's high school gym and we get to watch the home video. My dad didn't bring the camcorder to that Harlem Clowns game, the way he would to my baseball games or recitals, but somebody's dad did. If there are a few guys out there who run a Barnstorming Basketball blog, I hope they find it. 

1. Shane Douglas vs. Black Bart

MD: This is amazing footage to have in the first place as we'd never even had the card for this, just the date. This is clipped, but you still get probably half the match. Tail end of 1990 is when I first got into wrestling as a kid (a little bit of a late arriver) so seeing Black Bart and Shane Douglas in a WWF ring is just natural for me. As an opening match on a B or C show, things could have been a lot worse. Bart was a well-oiled machine by 91; he knew what to do. He knew what not to do. He knew when to do it. He could still execute it well enough. He was never going to be the star that he claims he was going to be if you listen to him do interviews now but he could be just as valuable on an undercard as he was in 85 when he was feuding with Ron Bass in JCP. He was solid enough here that it makes me want to go back and look at his WCW and GWF stuff the following year. It's funny to think that your real bottom of the card heels in 90 WWF were Buddy Rose and Black Bart. Your bottom of the card faces were Powers and Brunzell with Douglas just a bit above them maybe as a real up and comer. Bart worked Dustin a lot around this time as well.

From what we see here, it's paint by numbers, but the numbers add up and the paint is vibrant and the kids in the crowd are into it. Douglas is snappy in his shine, including a nice headscissors takeover and Bart sailing across the ring on an armdrag. We don't see the actual transition but we come in with Bart dropping Shane over the top rope. They then work a chinlock up and down but Shane gets the crowd behind him and he's dynamic enough in the rope running out of it. The finish is a sunset flip back out of the corner and it gets a big pop. Douglas had some legs as a babyface here and they could have done something with him. There are probably dozens of shoot interviews I'm not going to listen to for why they didn't. 90-91 Bart is the one that might get another look from us though.

ER: I thought this was a great opener, and I don't think I realized how good Black Bart would be for Shane Douglas. I have seen more than enough early 90s Douglas and I don't think he typically looks as good as he did here. Bart is a big guy, the kind of big guy that dads in the crowd look at and think "yeah now that's a big guy" and the perfect kind of big guy to take Douglas's babyface fire. There were hundreds of guys working matches just like this and Bart and Douglas were doing it better than most of them. Bart really was a (for me at least) much better Ron Bass, but I don't think I ever thought of Shane Douglas as being a potentially great Ricky Morton. He looked like a great Ricky here. His two headscissors were incredible. Everything Douglas did, Bart made look better, but those headscissors would have looked great against anyone. They were the classic Robert Gibson/Marty Jannetty style and Bart is a big sold guy who is able to "stand" with them longer. Those style headscissors are always more satisfying to me when you can see the babyface actually working to take their opponent over, so Bart being able to hold Douglas up for that pause before getting slid across the ring just makes them pop. The crowd is wild for everything they do (a beautiful running theme on the afternoon) and it made the simplest things sing. 

2. Warlord vs. Tom Stone

MD: This is more like it. Tom Stone has a windbreaker that fits 1990 perfectly. Warlord is lacking Slick but has the full half helmet and armor and staff. I watched some 87 Warlord in New Japan recently where he was the Dangerous Violence Warlord and very green. That Warlord would have given Stone half of the match. This one did not. It was worked like an enhancement match. Real Immovable Object vs. Stoppable Force stuff. Stone tried some clotheslines and punches and staggered Warlord a little but he did a good job portraying how shocked he was that things weren't working instead of doing what Duggan or Bossman would do and build up momentum. That meant he ran into a clothesline eventually. Warlord was really good at setting his stuff up, a bit lift of the arm before coming down with it, that sort of thing, but the impact never lived up to the preamble. Stone's big comeback was two eye rakes and the biting of the eye which seemed to confuse the crowd more than anything else. Then he ran into a lovely big boot and ate the running power slam. This didn't try to be more than what it should have been because of the setting. That meant no lengthy nerve hold. Unless Stone's family was in the crowd, I don't think anyone was disappointed at its absence.

ER: I'm a big Tom Rocky Stone guy, even though he's someone we barely write about. He's a guy I kept trying to get on the DVDVR 80s AWA set, just because I wanted him represented somehow. What's the best Tom Stone match? I have no idea. He didn't get anywhere near the same match length opportunities as the similar-but-different Iron Mike Sharpe, was never used by WWF as a job guy who would put up a fight or could occasionally win. Stone had to do things to stand out while rarely getting out of 2 minute losses. Here, we get 5 minutes of Stone and while none of his offense is really sold, it's a much broader picture of the kind of personality Stone could bring to a loss (that looked like it was headed towards a loss every second of the match). I love his windbreaker, love his dedication to the job guy singlet (the one with the horizontal strap joining the shoulder straps), and love how he still knew how to land offense that looked good while knowing it wouldn't be acknowledged. His clotheslines looked great, his punches looked even better - grabbing Warlord's head with his left and throwing heavy shots with his right - but his perplexed looks in the corner took the cake. He had no entry point into Warlord, he knew he had no entry point, and knew he had no shot. 

Everybody in Marshfield knew that Tom Stone had no shot. He was Mr. Belding in a way that is necessary but now completely unrepresented in wrestling. I don't think any wrestler projected School Principal than Tom Stone. If you didn't know better, you'd think he actually was a teacher at Marshfield High. We have all watched and attended wrestling shows where a teacher from that gymnasium's high school got into the ring. I went to a show at Antioch High School to see Greg Valentine and Sabu and Antioch High School's football coach wrestle. Tom Stone is the most subtly, skillfully acted goofball science teacher wrestling at his school's fundraiser. He's made for this show. He's the fucking Bruno Sammartino of this specific kind of show. His frustration at his own ineffectiveness, a great "here it goes" shake of the head, and a total surprise when he raked at Warlord's eyes and actually bit his eye! A reminder that Tom Stone is a bad guy who actually wants to win. A great pro wrestler. 

Warlord looked like trash. I've watched a lot of Maxx Muscle matches and Warlord was not as good as Maxx Muscle. He has no weight of any kind behind anything he did. His big boot was light, his clothesline soft. That's not really important. If Warlord had walked by me in my town's high school gym when I was 9 years old, my jaw would have been dropped. Gassed out guy in a helmet and Conan weapon would impress the hell out of 9 year old me. Warlord looks huge in a high school gym. You've never seen a bigger person in that building. His match ending powerslam was a real powerslam, an important lesson for wrestlers in "ending the match on a high note". Save your best thing for your last thing. Marshfield will remember Warlord's size and powerslam and nothing else he did. That means it worked. 

 

3. Sgt. Slaughter vs. Nikolai Volkoff

MD: Legitimately shocking. Slaughter came out to huge, huge heat with Adnan and the flag and singing the Iraqi anthem and calling people maggots. Volkoff had a huge pop and the US flag. I do like how this is an inversion. By that I mean, if you ever see a parody of pro wrestling, you'll never see the foreign guy as the face and the American as the turncoat, and Volkoff was super super over during the summer of 90. The whole bit he did with the scouts made him something like the third or fourth top babyface in WWF, at least for a few months. It really did set up the heel Slaughter character well and this was a mauling. Slaughter ambushed Volkoff from behind as Adnan was waving the flag at him and he never let up. His stuff was pointed and credible, mean, just rubbing Volkoff's face in the ground, plastering him with shots from every angle, just being relentless. Warlord is supposed to be slow and methodological, but the difference in the actual perceived impact was telling. You keep looking for Volkoff's comeback and it never gets there. He just eats a bunch of elbow drops and the camel clutch, followed by a post match beating.

ER: When Matt sent me the card for this show it hadn't crossed my mind that Sgt. Slaughter would be bringing his Iraqi Sympathizer routine to this high school. It would have been so fucking wild if someone came flying an Iraqi flag into my school when I was a kid. How could people in central Wisconsin process a guy coming into their town and rooting for Iraq? Do they know the formula? Could they understand it was all part of the show? What's the percentage of Believers? The Gulf War was fresh in 1990. I, a child, would not have been permitted to show any kind of allegiance with Iraq on school grounds and I wish I could have seen the reactions from my town's adults. Sgt. Slaughter praising Iraq and shouting a G rated Tracy Smothers promo at the unexpecting crowd is an incredible sight on its own, but, even as a child, I would have expected Sgt. Slaughter's comeuppance to be arriving any minute. 

Matt's not wrong about how loved Volkoff was that summer, but even if he hadn't been, it was a man waving a large American flag in the face of a man waving an Iraqi flag at what was basically the onset of the Gulf War. Everybody in that building knew that America would come out of this looking good. 

And then Sgt. Slaughter just fucked Volkoff up for several minutes and got him to tap without ever absorbing a single shot, then continued fucking Volkoff up after winning. I and everyone in Marshfield knew that it was only a matter of time before one of Slaughter's constant barrage of kicks to the ribs and big man shots to the body got turned back against him, and instead American got run the fuck over and buried like if the first 15 minutes of Red Dawn had been the whole movie. I don't know if I have ever seen America fare worse in a high school gymnasium. This might be our greatest document of America in the role of Yoji Anjo flying to America fight Rickson Gracie. 

4. Rockers vs. Power and Glory

MD: Really good tag. Great Michaels performance too but everyone was on here. It started with Jannetty hitting a top rope fist on Hercules who was swinging his chain in the middle of the ring for an awesome visual to start and never really let up. Rockers kept outquicking Power and Glory's attempt to cheat to take over to keep the shine but it was overall pretty brisk. Nothing wore out its welcome. When Jannetty was in there (and getting a chant), Shawn was engaged on the apron. It took a fairly complex series of three or four cheating attempts to finally take over on Michaels. They mostly worked over his leg. There was a great hope spot where Roma was stepping on the ankle to prevent him from tag and so he could taunt Jannetty and Michaels worked himself halfway up and did a sort of falling punch which looked perfect given the HH quality. They were drawing a bunch of heat by attacking Jannetty on the apron and focusing on the leg, building to Michaels kicking Herc into the corner on a spinning toe hold. Jannetty came in hot setting up the finish where Michaels, having been tossed outside, pulled Hercules away allowing Jannetty to duck the double clothesline and hit a cross body on Roma. Fans were into this and if anything, I could have used an extra minute or two.

ER: Great tag match from two of the great WWF tag teams. Power and Glory were so good. Of course the Rockers were good but Power and Glory were so good. Hercules and Paul Roma are each guys who don't give enough credit. Hercules' as a worker keeps looking better and better the more I revisit that era. He's another act that plays huge in a high school gym. Look how he swings the chains, knowing exactly how close he can stand to Marty Jannetty to not actually chain whip the man while still swinging the chains at full extension. Paul Roma, meanwhile, holds up tremendously, as he's the greasiest slimeball around and looks and acts like someone who should be the greasiest slimeball around. He was born into being an asshole. You cannot look like Paul Roma and not be a jackoff. This building understood that on sight, and they also understood that the Rockers were the coolest boys in town. Marty Jannetty especially got a huge reaction, and the opening of this match should have been the way a classic PPV match happened. Hercules swinging chains in Marty's face, Marty climbing to the top rope and leaping off with a fist to the face. 

I love watching southern tag formula in American gyms. Bad versions of it usually work, great versions of it lead to ear splitting joyous reactions. When Marty tags in after Michaels has been getting his leg kicked and stomped over? It's impossible to picture anything or anyone getting a louder reaction. Power and Glory did nothing over the top to work over Michaels' knee, other than look exactly the way Power and Glory look and simply kicking and stomping at his leg. They didn't need to do anything else, the energy was perfect. It could have gone on another 10 minutes and it only would have gotten better with each minute. This crowd would have been along for every stomp and every close tag. I do wish Michaels had been cut off from a tag one or two or three more times, but this deserved every scream of that hot tag. The Marty chants are calorific icing. 

5. Koko B. Ware vs. Boris Zhukov

MD: Koko looks like a million bucks here. Most entertaining, compelling, engaging babyface in the world. Zhukov does his part to start, stalling early while Koko keeps the USA chants going and holds court in the ring, and then walking right into a whole lot of stooing shtick. The best bit was when Koko would headbutt him and Zhukov would stagger and then Koko would mock the stagger. Legitimately funny stuff. Eventually Zhukov dragged him down into that nerve hold I was worried about in the Warlord match, but it worked here far better. Some good hope spots and cutoffs before Koko came back and eventually won it with a missile dropkick so high that he basically bounced off the top of Zhukov's head. I'm not doing this one justice but it was very good for what it was.

ER: Was every person on this roster just the perfect High School Gym Attraction? Any child who sees Koko B. Ware dance into their gym, literal parrot on his shoulder, bronze suit glittering, looking like the coolest confident most fun person in the world. A Megastar cartoon of a man. I dated a girl my age whose connection to wrestling was watching Sunday morning WWF with her brother, and Koko B. Ware was her favorite. How couldn't he be the favorite? Do you know how wide I smiled and how my voice went up when a hot girl told me she loved Koko B. Ware at some point in her life. That's special. We'll have that. I smile when I pass my Koko Hasbro. If, instead of Koko B. Ware - a name every American should be allowed to hear once in their life, because it's a fake name that has a real chance to stick with someone after hearing it just one time. What's a better pro wrestler name than Koko B. Ware? Gorilla Monsoon? Probably. But not many. We should have been given Attitude era Koko. Lives would have changed. The charm of children asking questions on pro wrestling handhelds is one of the truly innocent and charming experiences in our scumbag obsession of choice. Suddenly every child in every part of this building had questions when Koko B. Ware appeared in their lives. 

6. Texas Tornado vs. Mr. Perfect

MD: I don't know about this one. It had some weird, weird structural things that would have made more sense if Perfect had the belt and wasn't the challenger. He attacked Kerry on the way in, but Kerry came back, hit the tornado punch on the floor, and then started play King of the Mountain, keeping Perfect out of the ring. It was pretty back and forth after that with Perfect able to chip away but never hold control for long. Kerry was going to Kerry. They definitely felt more room to breathe given that this was a house show that no one was ever going to see. Perfect BLOCKED the discus punch on the inside. Kerry hit it another time or two in the match incidentally, just twirling around after his punches. Kerry kicked out of the PerfectPlex. At some point, you got the sense that maybe they were just having fun with it because they were on a B show in Wisconsin? 

The finish was fun with Perfect undoing the turnbuckles but Kerry cutting him off and running him across the ring to faceplant him into the metal. Perfect did a triple gainer in the air exactly as you'd want him to in that situation but he still managed to kick out at too. It didn't matter much though as Kerry just spun around the ring at full speed to hit the tornado punch one last time for the win. Post-match, Hennig just decided to lay there for a bit. It was an entertaining house show performance (and has value along those lines certainly) but I don't it necessarily had the substance to go along with the sizzle.

ER: I wish we had sound during Kerry's entrance because that crowd looked loud and Kerry took a long time with it, slow walked it in his perfect jacket. But we have all of this full match, and I loved it a lot more than Matt. I thought this was a great match, a stiff dominating heel Perfect performance against a tough fight back aw shucks babyface Kerry performance. Kerry spammed variations on the discus punch in between a consistently dominant Perfect attack. This was really physical. When Perfect bumped for Kerry, he bumped for Kerry, but when he hit Kerry he hit Kerry. Every punch and every chop Perfect threw played directly into this camcorder lens 12 riser seats up. Perfect was an unrelenting attacker, smothering our sculpted god. Two different times in this match, Perfect flung himself over the top rope to the floor to continue an attack as quickly as possible. Our cameraman misses a huge Perfect bump to the floor that gets the gym jumping to their feet, but you can see his feet go over the top, and it looked no different than him flying out to the floor just to punch Kerry in the face. Blocking the discus punch was a legit surprise, and a heel out punching the babyface champion famous for his punches. That's a hero facing a real threat, and Perfect looked like a real threat, easily the most violent worker on the show. Kerry kicking out of the Perfect Plex would have shocked me live; Perfect flipping for a discus punch would have delighted me.  

7. Earthquake vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

MD: Earthquake had Hart with him and Jimmy even did the introduction for him. There was some fun house show goofing here too with Duggan catching Earthquake trying to cheapshot him a number of times. Quake was one of the best ever at knowing just how much to give and exactly when to give it. He was doing all of the Hogan poses too and it got big heat. He knew how to be a monster. He knew how to accentuate the things that made him larger than life. It's not quite the same as how Andre did it, because Andre had such a unique presence that he was accentuating being Andre. With Quake it was more about running a scientific experiment to prove beyond any matter of doubt that physics actually matter. Duggan got in a lot of shots and even got close once or twice (close being making him wobble or teasing a slam). Jimmy helped him take over eventually and he had some bear hugs that didn't look like the most amazing things in the world from the HH vantage but were naturally believable enough. Duggan was able to get hope spots through dodging and firing back but he was cut off. His comeback was pro wrestling perfection as Quake wobbled more and more, including this bit of remarkable fancy footwork to really get it across and build up the drama, before Duggan finally hit the three point stance. Hart intervened but eventually got squashed in the corner as Duggan moved and they sent the fans home happy with a quick roll up pin. We have the Summerslam Fever match between these two and some tags, but I think this was a pretty rare matchup overall and unsurprisingly, they matched up well together.

ER: Earthquake looks so massive here, in ways that we will never see in pro wrestling again. I don't think people realize just how much a big fat bearded guy fearlessly running ropes as fearlessly as God himself meant to our fandom. I don't know if I've committed to anything in my life as fearlessly as Earthquake commits to running ropes, and honestly it inspires me. I've been going on and on about how every wrestler on this roster is made to shine in a high school gymnasium but will you look at how perfect Earthquake and Jim Duggan look in high school gym of a town that had a Carl's Jr. but didn't get a McDonalds until 1991. Duggan's punches all looked like shit, and it didn't matter, because when it came time for Earthquake to tease out a Berzerkeresque spot where he legs keep splitting farther and farther apart with each subsequent Hacksaw clothesline, we were somehow witnessing Earthquake putting more faith into his adductor muscles than he puts into the ropes. I was so certain he was hitting the mat on that third clothesline, plopped down on his butt, and when he went full leg spread hunch forward it was like the greatest Andre spot that Andre never did. These men knew. Some kid went into their town's new-ish McDonalds that day and told them "Nick sent me," and later that night saw Earthquake vanquished by America. What a day. 

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Found Footage Friday: HANSEN~! SPIVEY~! KOBASHI~! ACE~! PUTSKI~! FUJI~! KUWAIT~! SMOTHERS~! EATON~! ROCK 'n' ROCKERS~!

Ivan Putski vs. Mr. Fuji WWF (Kuwait) 1982

MD: The Rex match might have been technically better and even more primal and straightforward in some ways, but this had astoundingly glorious bullshit. At the two minute mark of the video, Fuji starts to play "hide the salt" and they milk it for another three and a half minutes before locking up, with the fans getting more and more into it as the ref can't catch him. Fuji eventually gives up with it and they start cycling through holds that Putski can power out of. Fuji gets an advantage on an armbar by pulling the tights to get Putski down but he ultimately gets a hyper noogie for his trouble. The crowd is loving every second of this so far, much like the Rex match; Putski just has a special relationship with them and Fuji isn't at all afraid to make goofy faces and flail about. Around twelve minutes after the goofiness with the salt started, Fuji finally gets it in Putski's eyes. This triumphant moment earns Fuji a bit of karate and a nerve hold before Putski shakes it off, hits two back body drops, and chases a retreating Fuji to the back. Another good time had by all. I don't know what this says about me, but I can watch Fuji hide salt in front of an irate crowd all day.

ER: People cannot get enough of Kuwait superstar Ivan Putski, and they show nothing but confused indifference for Fuji's salt ceremony...until they clearly see that Fuji is saving salt for Putski's eyeballs. I wish I knew more about the average Kuwait wrestling show attendee's familiarity with classic wrestling heel tropes. I want to see Bobby Heenan hiding a weapon for 20 minutes in Kuwait, slipping it in his boot and back in his trunks and even standing on it. Imagine Lawler hiding a weapon that doesn't actually exist and getting these men (No Women Allowed in the Kuwait Wrestling Club) to lose their minds, tearing their keffiyehs from their heads. Fighting Ivan Putski is like fighting a person in one of those inflatable dinosaur costumes. Much like the Moondog Rex match this week, there are some tremendous strength spots. 

I could see a lot of these spots done by a skinny fat super indy undercarder and played for hack laughs, but the exact same spots done by a completely gassed 5'4" man in early 80s Kuwait play like the pinnacle of the genre. Fuji breaks Putski down to his knees with a nerve hold, both hands digging into Putski's armpits while clutching his pecs, and in an incredible moment Putski rises to his feet and begins loosening Fuji's grip by flexing his large pectorals, Fuji's eyes growing wider, hands still gripping Putski's fleshy muscular breasts, Putski going through every posedown challenge to break the vice, a Most Muscular pose with unbroken eye contact finally freeing him. Putski's strikes get better the longer the match goes. His headlock punches have more intensity than Nolan Ryan's, and his elbow strikes to Fuji's chest in the ropes bounce him wickedly. But when that salt finally comes back into play, it's glorious. Fuji sneaks it into Putski's eyes and Putski swings his short T-rex arms blindly at him, while Fuji stays just out of arms reach throwing throat thrusts and headbutts. But Ivan Putski is the Most Powerful Man in the World and, much like the Philistines blinded Samson and still felt his full wrath, Fuji is soon tossed hardway by two backdrops, and flees the building before it all gets pulled down on top of him. 

Stan Hansen/Dan Spivey vs. Kenta Kobashi/Johnny Ace AJPW 11/20/90

MD: Pulling this back from the middle of the handheld card as it's the last major match we haven't covered yet (there's a Ricky Santana/Doug Furnas vs. Dick Slater/Joel Deaton match which isn't all that interesting and an opening match Teranishi/Kikuchi vs. Fuchi/Ogawa match that I don't promise I won't cover in the weeks to come). It's always fun to hear Kobashi come out to Kickstart My Heart. The contrast here is good. Early Kobashi/Ace (the All-Asia stuff) can be frustrating if they're up against a small, quick team and you get a lot of action and not a lot of weight to anything. But there is nothing but weight when you're in there against Hansen and Spivey. Obviously, Hansen is the real muscle, but Spivey starts this match out by catching Ace off a cross body and just SOS-ing him over his head and shortly thereafter, when Kobashi tries to get technical with him with a leglock, just jams his leg down upon Kenta's face in the nastiest way possible. Spivey wasn't a bad Hansen partner by any means. He was big enough and had some presence but it was also believable for Kobashi to bounce back off the ropes and drop him with a heart-filled shot.

Whenever this hits the outside, it gets great. Hansen just uses the rail and a chair and even this big wooden table. He was better smashing Ace with it than going for the lariat against it, though, as he took out his own arm opening up a fairly lengthy "contain the beast" bit from the two of them. You can't keep Hansen down (in 1990) for long though, and they rotated about until they were beating Kobashi down, with him surviving despite the odds and some nasty shots (including the aforementioned chair shot). At one point Ace broke up a submission by running in and bounding off the ropes with a clothesline but he got absolutely nailed by Hansen the second time he tried it (which was happening more and more in AJPW at this point and was always a great spot). The comeback was wonderful and imaginative, with Kobashi ducking a double shoulder block that sends both Hansen and Spivey to the floor. A dive on Spivey and a suplex on Hansen followed and Ace and Kobashi got in some hope that they might, maybe, steal this one. But of course it wasn't to be. Hansen got fed up and lariated one after the other in quick succession to end it. At this point in their development (where they may have won the secondary titles but were still losing to Jumbo/Partner and even Misawa/Kawada), Kobashi and Ace just hanging as well as they did meant something to the crowd.

ER: I'm not sure how many things in wrestling make me smile wider than Stan Hansen running to the ring through a parting see of fans, chasing after some, swinging his bullrope at others. Danny Spivey looks huge here, like the World's Largest Wings Hauser. He's several inches over Hansen whenever they're next to each other. Did Stan Hansen gift every touring gaijin tag partner his own set of chaps, like a leather goods Ribera Steakhouse jacket? Underneath his Gifted Chaps, Spivey is wearing Daisuke Ikeda's future ring gear, larger. There's a woman in the crowd who loves him and yells SPIVEY all match long. For her, he leans into a strong Ace clothesline and bumps big for a Kobashi back suplex. I love the precision and speed that Spivey and Hansen used to get Kobashi to the floor, slammed face first into a table, and rolled back into the ring. It was like 5 seconds flat. Hansen just threw Kobashi's body like he was a bag of autumn leaves. Stan Hansen was the first guy I ever saw do the Ringpost Chop and I thought it was incredible. Here he tries to take Johnny Ace's head off with a lariat and instead Western Lariats a thick table as hard as he would lariat a man. Hansen was a genius at hitting offense into inanimate objects, thrown as if he never once expected he would miss. 

Nagoya, in one night, got to see over 10 minutes of Stan Hansen and Abdullah the Butcher getting cut off decisively from their tag partners, and I love whenever Hansen is the Man in Peril. He is both great at selling while in offense, and also a constant threat. Kobashi and Ace are like two cops trying to take down a guy on PCP, just swinging chops and feet, always a second from lashing out. Hansen is great in peril, and he's even better getting his revenge. Cower at the ease with which he throws Kobashi with a head whipping bodyslam, or the way he and Spivey launch Kobashi with a backdrop and Stan is already falling on top of him with an elbow. Hansen and Spivey miss a tandem 3 point tackle into the ropes like two men who weren't expecting to hit the ropes, because Stan Hansen tis a man who has considered the concept of object permanence. Kobashi's pescado into Spivey hits flush. Hansen just beats the shit out of him. There's a really great sunset flip nearfall, where Ace does an unconvincing sunset flip and Hansen balances himself and starts knuckle punching Ace in the head, but Kobashi does a mountains-moving dropkick to send Hansen flying back into a close pin. He shuts that shit down swiftly and suddenly, putting Ace down hard on his back with a shoulderblock, backing into the corner as he calls for the Lariat. Kobashi screens into frame to save his dude and takes the absolute worst swinging hell arm to the nose, a fool of a man for startling a large blind man who never chooses Flight. Ace loses the match, but absorbs a comparatively polite lariat. 

Tracy Smothers/Bobby Eaton vs. Ricky Morton/Marty Jannetty Wrath Pro 2/18/07

MD: Speaking of glorious wrestling bullshit. This had Smothers on the mic to start (of course), with the usual threats to leave to get the fans chanting and then a great bit about having no heat with Morton. Tracy graciously said that if Ricky turned on Marty, he'd not only give him the right to ride with them, he'd give him five whole bucks. Morton didn't take the deal. That and Smothers making a show out of taking his shirt was the first ten minutes of the video.

Of all the various ways to watch and enjoy wrestling, there's only one that is unquestionably wrong: you can't quantify wrestling; if you're counting the number of kickouts or punches, you're doing it wrong. But you can speak about things more broadly in terms of time, especially in a narrative sense, sure, and with that in mind, I'd like to report that the next six minutes were Jannetty and Smothers goofing. Jannetty would get a takeover or reversal; Smothers would complain about the tights or the hair even if it made no sense given what actually happened; Jannetty would then do the move to the ref slowly to show him it was impossible. At one point he even had the ref do a counter on him to show him. It was six minutes well spent.

After some more stooging and clowning from Eaton and Smothers, they got about a minute of heat on Morton, before he came back and they went right to a double roll up and some more Smothers jawing including the singsong promise never to come back and yelling at everyone to go home. The entire video was around twenty-five minutes; 35 with ten more minutes of heat would have been preferable, but it's hard to complain too much about what we got given the venue and the age and filled out bump cards of the wrestlers involved. 

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Found Footage Friday: MORE PANAMA PARK~! WAGNER SR~! ANIBAL~! SATO~! ISHIKAWA~! JANNETTY~! FLANAGAN~!

Akio Sato/Takashi Ishikawa vs. Dr. Wagner/Anibal AJPW 8/20/81 

MD: I'll be honest that when we get HHs from this deep back in the 80s, it always feels notable, even if the match itself has, let's say, measured value. This was a tale of two matches. When Ishikawa was in there, it was quite good. He and Wagner started off with some nice stuff on the mat. Later on he'd have a comeback where he threw good strikes and when it came to the rudos beating him down, their stuff looked really sharp. Sato, on the other hand, was pretty rough in there. The system was what it was, but you watch a match like this and think he had to be pretty green; he wasn't. He was losing to Bob Brown and wrestling Momota around the horn in 73. He had maybe one moment of good fire towards the end and ate some shoulder throws (something like three in the match) well, but everything kind of ground to a halt when he was in there. Wagner and Anibal were fun in general though. I'm not saying they left their feet a ton but Wagner had plenty of personality and Anibal wasn't afraid to pull hair and get heat (and when they did leave their feet, mainly Anibal, it mattered). Finish had Ishikawa and Sato turning things around to create heel miscommunication and more or less worked. This is probably most worthwhile because we have very little 81 Wagner.

Principe Island I (c) vs. Sandokan Panama 1988-9

MD: Totally different sort of title match from the PI 1 vs PI 2 match. Here, Principe Island 2/Remo Banda/Super Parka was seconding Sandokan. Instead of doing everything under the sun, they went from early feeling out to Park absolutely dismantling the leg. I wouldn't say there was anything fancy here, but it certainly all worked. Park just jumping onto the leg over and over, twisting and grinding it, throwing headbutts directly into the thigh; all of that's going to work. Meanwhile, Sandokan slammed his fist on the mat and writhed, selling as big as he could. If he tried to get up, Park just took him back down and kept up the assault until he got the submission. The second fall had Park broaden his attack a bit, which cost him. Sandokan, hurt legs and all, was able to hit three upkicks and knock him out of the ring for an awkward countout.

There might have been just a bit of miscommunication there. Immediately thereafter, Sandokan started to trap the arm and the head and run Park into turnbuckles. The fans were going nuts for this and Park sold it like a gunshot. It would have made sense to do the countout after a few of those probably. The tercera was Park taking and taking and taking. Sandokan's leg was magically okay, of course, but there were a couple of times where Park tried to land a takedown and go after it again so the danger was always there. It was about the only chance he had since he was getting pinballed all over the place, including both a straight up power bomb with a jacknife roll up and Sandokan's schoolboy type takeovers which were sold like powerbombs. The very best thing he did was to whip Park into the corner and then follow up with a jumping clothesline to the back of the head as Park stumbled backwards. For as one-sided as the tercera was, Park kept kicking out and because of that Sandokan started to escalate towards the ropes, including a climb up armdrag. That allowed Park to crotch him over the top and almost steal a pin. His former partner rushed in however, stopped the count and started brawling with him ending the match but hopefully leading to an apuestas match between the two that maybe, just maybe, will show up soon? One can hope, right? Like I said, this was a completely different sort of title match than PI 1 vs PI 2 and young LA Park is really holding up his end of these, while here, Sandokan once again looked like one of the great folk heroes of wrestling. 

Marty Jannetty vs. Flash Flanagan NWA Worldwide 12/25/99

MD: This aired a couple of week later but I think it was at Christmas Chaos 99. One interesting thing from the Bryan Turner uploads is how little is actually on cagematch. Jannetty in late 99 was not too much different from Jannetty in 92 but with modern eyes, that's not a bad thing at all. The first half of this was all Flanagan letting himself get clowned with a "Anything you can do, I can't do better" sequence. Jannetty started it by out-hairpulling Flash but then Flash missed on multiple sequences, ending by wiping out on a monkey see, monkey do monkey flip in the corner. Given his role on the card here, he probably wanted to show off just a little too much in general, landing on his feet out of things, having the springboard leg drop and another springboard dropkick out of the corner (which in and of itself, is a good spot, whipping the opponent into the corner and rushing the other way to bounce back off the second rope), just a little bit of a case of "just because you can, doesn't mean you should." Maybe I would have liked to see just a little bit more comeuppance on the comeback then, especially since he was going to win by cheating (a good thing; he should be winning by cheating). Still, this was a good use of Marty, who looked good in everything he did, and ultimately something that gave Flash some rub. I didn't agree with every one of his creative choices but he never felt out of place in there.

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Another Iron Mike Sharpe Gem

Iron Mike Sharpe vs. Marty Jannetty WWF Superstars 11/14/92

ER: I was not anticipating my becoming such a big fan of Iron Mike, but when you get familiar enough with various WWE tropes and house styles throughout the years, it's easy to argue that Sharpe understood what to do and where to do it and how loud to be while doing it better than most. You can learn a lot by watching two minute long Mike Sharpe matches, seeing so many things he does that are almost completely absent from modern wrestling. Now, part of it is he had a loud personality and it really felt like him; there are plenty of people working gimmicks that seem dishonest to who they really are, but Iron Mike Sharpe knew the importance of being an oafish blowhard who takes bumps differently than anyone else. I love his bits, like how Jannetty ducks out of the way of Sharpe's match opening lock-up and Sharpe flips out, slaps the top rope in anger and tells the ref to take care of this issue. I love how much Sharpe griped to referees about problems that didn't exist, or just made those problems exist. 

There's another great bit where Sharpe uses his size to break out of a Jannetty full nelson, flexes his Canadian muscles to the surely appreciative fans in Saskatoon, then takes a fantastic bump over the top to the floor as Jannetty dropkicks him between the shoulder blades. Sharpe is the king of weirdo bumps, but they're all so good! After he gets back in he takes a monkey flip out of the corner and then takes an armdrag by...rolling halfway across the ring, into the ringpost, then oozes down to the floor like toothpaste running down the drain. Sure, sure, his big clubbing arms are nice and all but we're here for bumps like that. Jannetty's greatest contribution came at the finish, as he hits one of the sweetest, most goddamn GIF worthy fistdrops off the top rope. Is there such thing as the perfect fistdrop? Trick question, as every single attempt at a fistdrop lies somewhere in the Perfection Blast Radius. Jannetty's fistdrop here would be in that tiny circle at the center of the blast zone. 

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An Exhaustingly Exhaustive Review of WWF Royal Rumble 1/24/93, Pt. 1

I started reviewing Royal Rumble 1993 and thought it would be a quick little thing, but sometimes projects spiral and the words flow more than they should, and I was left with a behemoth of a show review. Part 1 comes today, Part 2 comes tomorrow: 

Beverly Brothers vs. The Steiner Brothers

When you see a Steiners/Beverlys match on paper, this is the match you hope it's going to be. It's 10 minutes and an excellent Beverlys performance. These guys all work snug, we get a great stretch of the Beverlys isolating Scott, and we build to Enos and Bloom betting annihilated on a Rick hot tag. Bloom and Enos are pure wrestling joy, mixing a cheapshit house style with the insane bumps and highspots of a big PPV tag. Bloom complains about hair and tight pulls after every huge biel and takedown he takes from Scott, but has no problem turning on a dime to whip Scott to the mat and then rock him with a gorgeous long uppercut when he gets to his feet. But Enos is so good on the apron while Bloom is doing his thing, and the match really gives us a look at how complementary they were as a team, not just their in-ring style but their personalities. Bloom was like the prep school shit with rich parents and no consequences, and Enos is his slightly less rich dumb jock friend. It's a great energy. 

When Enos tags in he does some incredible dumb jock stuff, shoving Rick on the apron one hand to the chest like a real idiot, and then running away! In a great moment that would get a huge reaction on any show, Rick tags in and immediately knocks Bloom off the apron as he jogs by. But just like Bloom, even as Enos is getting punked by Rick, he also gives it back big. Enos and Rick have some great stuff together, great timing. They really nail this one stretch where Enos hits this great high rotation powerslam, cuts low on a clothesline and really tries to take Rick's legs out with a dropdown, does a great leapfrog...but of course gets caught mid-air by Rick and dumped. Enos was something else in this one. He took some of the most dangerous bumps in WWF PPV history, just a crazy willingness to lean all the way into STEINER BROTHERS OFFENSE. He gets thrown by Scott with an overhead belly to belly that almost plants him squarely on the top of his head (and close enough that Gorilla and Heenan go momentarily silent), but this match is so good because Bloom runs right in and just WASTES Scott with a lariat. These teams are laying in and this match should really be talked about as one of the upper tier WWF tags of the decade. 

The Beverlys are really good at cutting Scott off from Rick, dropping backbreakers and ax handles and Bloom elbowdrops, quick tags, hard elbows, Enos choking Scott with the tag rope, all of it the kind of shit you want to see them doing to Scott Steiner. The crowd noise builds perfectly through all of it because these Sacramento fans know that Rick is going to blow this ring up, and there is a fantastic late cut off of a Scott tag attempt that quiets the crowd down so damn quick, just perfectly timed by Bloom. After the hot tag was denied, Heenan has a hilarious bit about how Rick didn't actually want the tag because he's "a known coward". Heenan had this great ongoing thing where he would matter of factly call someone a coward as if it's a thing everyone knows, and Gorilla reacts to it every single time, and I laugh my ass off every single time. 

The Rick hot tag is as good as expected, and Mike Enos really went through one of the most insane wrestling minutes I've seen. Enos takes a backdrop bump as high as any Rick Rude backdrop, then takes arguably the most disgusting German suplex in WWF history. The match's one flaw just might be that Enos is picked up for the next spot almost immediately by Rick, not giving *that* German suplex any time to settle in. If I saw a man the size of Enos take that suplex bump live, a match stoppage would have seemed appropriate. It's a crazy spot that - once they saw Enos was moving of his own accord - they should have shown a dozen times from every angle. The finish stretch is crazy, with Bloom wiping out on an awesome missed top rope clothesline and a great Scott victory roll for a near win. But Enos takes his legendary performance somehow one step further, and takes the match finishing Frankensteiner better than any man has ever taken the Frankensteiner. Enos goes vertical on it, sticking the landing in a way that made people immediately leap up, as if he hadn't just been thrown for the most disgusting suplex a minute earlier. Mike Enos is a goddamn lunatic and I genuinely don't know what 90s WWF tag matches you can genuinely put over this one. Total classic. 

Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty

ER: It's unfortunate, but Marty Jannetty's ring gear has to be the worst ring gear in my time as a wrestling fan. Right? I don't know. There are other, good contenders. Maybe it isn't actually the worst. But, if not the worst, then at minimum I can say that there has never been any other wrestling gear that makes me feel the vicarious embarrassment that Marty Jannetty's 1993 Royal Rumble gear makes me feel. Sure, maybe that's hypocritical of me, seeing as how I lose my mind any time a wrestler shows up covered in tassels. When Jerry Estrada takes that bump over the top and his ocean waves of tassel crash into the shore as his body crashes into the concrete, I'm in wrestling heaven. Marty Jannetty just takes it too far. Maybe that's a good thing. Marty Jannetty may have established a Tassel Barrier in this match, and that's an important thing. It's good to know how far we as humans can, or should, go. And Marty established that we should not go here. 

Marty's gear looks like a child tried to make their own Tron suit out of torn toilet paper. If you pause the screen at the right moments, his ring entrance looks like Max Moon being drawn into A-Ha's "Take On Me" video. It is a hideous ensemble, and I thought it was hideous before I realized it's a two piece. Who crafted this entrance-attire-only blouse? Who crafted this blouse that looks like the most toilet-papered tree on Halloween? Can you imagine Marty Jannetty trying on his new gear in a small tailor's shop, analyzing all the angles in a full frame trifold vanity mirror, while a slender hunched old Italian man marks his hems with chalk? Well, turns that trifold mirror was cursed, and that mirror cursed Jannetty for the rest of his career. If you ever wondered why Marty Jannetty shows up in 1998 WCW looking like Enuff Z'Nuff's rhythm guitarist, lost and scared in a strange new grunge world, that's why. That mirror is why.

The match itself is weird. It has an excellent layout which gets the crowd downright rabid for the finishing stretch, but it's also filled with weak offense and stunt bumping that doesn't correlate to that weak offense. Michaels pinballs for every single punch Jannetty throws, and they are ridiculous bumps for what Jannetty is putting out there. Michaels gets bumped to the floor off a kneelift and Jannetty hits a tope that winds up looking like a couple trying to hold each other up at the skating rink before both slip and fall. But things get downright silly when Jannetty hits a flying punch off the top to the floor, and Michaels does a triple salchow to sell it. Now, I love a good flying fist or an absurd fistdrop, but there comes a tipping point where it probably makes a lot more sense to use your body to attack an opponent than just your fist. Marty's entire body crashes and burns off to the side while his fist grazes past Michaels' hair, and Michaels spins to the mat like Bear Hugger. A crossbody block would have lead to a safer bump for both AND would have read much better to the crowd, but wrestler offense is a funny thing. This is not as bad as that piece of Marufuji offense where he would tap his opponents' head into the top turnbuckle while hurling his own body out over the ringpost to the floor - as if Mitch Williams had not just fallen off the mound after a delivery but also continued rolling and tumbling all the way to the dugout - but it was incredibly stupid. So of course Marty does it again and Michaels punches him out of the air. Now, don't get me wrong, if some lunatic did a fistdrop off the top rope to the floor I would praise them as a wrestling offense god, in the same way I will always flip out seeing El Samurai or Makoto Hashi doing diving headbutts off the top to the floor. So now, not only are my takes on tassels hypocritical, I am also a hypocrite about what offense I enjoy and what level of stupidity I expect and demand out of it. Perhaps there's a boomerang effect where a fistdrop can keep getting more and more complicated until it gets very stupid, before becoming incredible again: 

1. Any kind of fistdrop from a standing position falling onto your opponent = Great

2. Fistdrop leaping off the middle turnbuckle = Outstanding

3. Fistdrop leaping off the top rope into the ring = Seems unnecessarily risky to your knees but fuck yeah

4. Fistdrop off the top rope to a standing opponent on the floor = You fucking idiot

5. Fistdrop off the top rope to the floor while opponent is on his back = You goddamn genius

The stretch of Michaels working over Marty's arm is satisfying (including a rough posting), but even all of that just builds to another stupid spot, which is Michaels coming off the middle rope and landing, standing, face first into Jannetty's boot, with no indication of what kind of move he would have hit had Marty not gotten that boot up. See, the twists and turns and momentum shifts all happen at the exact right place, except half (or more?) of the offense looks like incomprehensible bullshit. It's a cool exercise in seeing how fired up a crowd can get when you're hitting all of the turns of a match this well, that you can really give them any slop offense and - as long as you're shifting momentum at the right time - they will be right there screaming. 

When people remember this as a great match (Meltzer gave it 4 stars, and if Jungle Boy and Rocky Romero worked this note for note exact same match with dog ball's worse offense, it's impossible to see him going less than 4 stars on it), they remember it from the moment Sherri slaps Shawn thru the series of close pinfalls. When Sherri slaps Shawn the ARCO Arena explodes, and Shawn does his best selling of the match. When Marty drags him back in Michaels immediately takes his craziest/best bump of the match, taking the HHH backwards corner bump faster than anyone should ever take that bump, and Marty drags him back in again. The crowd really thought they were seeing a title change, so every single nearfall plays huge, deservedly so. Shawn missing a superkick only to get put down hard by a Marty superkick really did feel like the finish, possibly because it was the only bump Michaels took that wasn't in three parts, just put him down on the mat. The shenanigans at the finish play out too quickly and a bit too ham-fisted, with Shawn throwing a wide elbow on a punch to take out the ref, and Sherri accidentally hitting Marty with her heel. Shawn hits a superkick, Marty takes a ridiculous flip bump that felt mostly disconnected from the kick, and that's it. It's a great match with an incredible amount of flaws: some of the most detached bumps and goofball offense choices, and yet a match that earned the big crowd reactions. 

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. The Big Boss Man

ER: This is a great three match series to start a PPV with, a great hour of pro wrestling, with three very different matches. The is a match that of course I was excited for, two of the biggest coolest shaped guys at some real in-ring peaks. 1993 was a great in-ring year for both of these guys, Bigelow an adventurous big man with a big gas tank, and Boss Man hitting a legendary peak with his post-WWF All Japan tours. 1993 Boss Man was the best combination of size and speed, slimmed way down from his 1989 biggest, but much bigger than his 1998 WWF return. 1993 was when Boss Man was shaped exactly like his Hasbro figure. Bam Bam Bigelow has the best shape in wrestling and Boss Man has night stick work that makes him look like a cool gigantic American King of Fighters character. They move fast and they hit hard, basking in the salad days of big fat men. 

There's a ton of movement and it always leads to a big crash, and a lot of this is worked at a super crazy pace for two guys this size to keep. There's fast rope running and fast spots, like Bigelow lifting Boss Man up for a huge back suplex, but then faceplanting hard on a missed falling headbutt when Boss Man sits up right after. Bam Bam has really high impact avalanches and starts the match story early when he starts throwing shots at Boss Man's back, with a fist to the back knocking Boss Man forward through the ropes. Right before them, Jannetty and Michaels thought of the bump they were going to do and then kept doing it regardless of the offense, but Bigelow and Boss Man really knock each other down and fall in some big ways. Bigelow drops Boss Man with a huge hot shot that looks like Boss Man is going to go crashing right into the camera; Boss Man has this great high speed clotheslines to knockdown Bigelow, and then at least 25 different punches to knock him around to different parts of the ring. Boss Man was a great puncher who isn't talked about enough as a great puncher. He has great uppercuts, great aim (he can pick a target on the chin and not show light), and can throw them close or long range. He slides to the floor for a big right hand, gives the fans a corner 10 count, throws hard mounted punches, all great. 

But it's not enough to work great through the fast paced sections, you also have to time out the cool down sections so the fast sections peak, and they do that really well. It's a great transition because it happens with a spectacular spot: Boss Man missing a charge and taking a fast, impressive bump to the floor, appearing to smash his back on the edge of the ring apron on the way down. Commentary picks up on it the second it happens and Bigelow immediately moves to focus entirely on Boss Man's back, as if everyone knew Boss Man was going to take a sick bump back first off the apron. Bigelow works the back with some real effective stuff, grabbing an awesome reverse waistlock bearhug and throwing headbutts to grind Boss Man down. Boss Man's comeback has some nice detail work, with a great spot where he is able to pull off a vertical suplex, but it's a messier suplex that wasn't as effective due to his back being weakened, so Bigelow beats him to his feet. It's such a great thread to put into a match: working a Too Convincing back injury on a suitably dangerous looking spot, like Chris Hamrick setting up knee work by violently tangling his knee in the ropes. The only weak point of the match is that it wraps up a little too easily and suddenly, the match almost disappointing by coming to its logical conclusion: Bigelow weakening Boss Man enough to slam him and hit the diving headbutt. It's where everything was heading, Boss Man was getting weaker, and then Bigelow put him down. I think one more Boss Man nearfall hope spot could have put this on a much higher level, but this was a great 10 minutes.  

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE 305 LIVE

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WWF Handheld Reno, NV 1/23/93

Running a 2,000 attendance house in a 12,000 capacity arena just a day before the Royal Rumble, this show had a couple unique matches I wanted to see and a nice snowy winter season happening outside. 

1/23/93 Full Show

The Predator vs. Jim Powers

ER: God bless early 90s camcorder dads who knew how short the battery life on their camcorders were, yet always overextended themselves thinking they could afford to record Jim Powers working Tony Garea tribute matches and still have enough battery for the main event. Memories of every plug of the school gymnasium being hogged by dad's charging their extra batteries. Predator is Horace Boulder under a mask, and it's really funny to me to have a guy named PREDATOR but have him working a lot of pointing at his head after dodged charges or complaining about Powers pulling the tights. Predator seems like a risky gimmick to assign someone in wrestling, but it also makes me laugh thinking about the Predator pointing at his head in the jungle right before Arnold sneaks up behind him with a schoolboy. Predator was the only one keeping this match interesting as Powers is all bad punches and arm wringers. There was a nice spot where Predator blocked a sunset flip and then punched the mat going after Powers, and I like  a guy who pulls his opponent face first into the turnbuckles by grabbing the waistband of his trunks. Predator does an admirable job selling Powers' punch and kneelift to set up his match finishing powerslam, and we collectively thank this camcorder dad for editing out a long Predator chinlock where Powers' abdomen was desperately heaving. 

Samu vs. Owen Hart

ER: This was a better version of the Powers/Predator match in half the time, with our undaunted director also opting to trim out Samu's chinlock. WWF loves having a babyface make their comeback after being held in a chinlock, and this man recognized what he should and shouldn't be filming. Here Owen gets that sunset flip that Jim Powers couldn't turn, but it only gets a one count and Samu hits him with a thrust kick after. There's a fun stretch where it felt like Owen could pull it off, after hitting a nice spinning heel kick and then knocking Fatu off the apron. I thought he was going to put Samu away with a missile dropkick, but Fatu snuck up and knocked Owen balls first into the top turnbuckle, Samu putting him away with a follow-up superplex. After the match, Owen continues selling his balls in the ring long after the Headshrinkers have left, even explaining to the ref what happened from his back. Owen makes the Vader V with his right hand and then uses the edge of his left hand to chop at that V, explaining what the top turnbuckle did to his balls. The ref nods understandingly before exiting the ring. 

Yokozuna vs. Earthquake

ER: This showdown would have looked insane to my 12 year old eyes, a clash of the two (probably) largest men I had ever seen. Little could anyone in attendance have known how rare this match was going to be. Their sumo match on Raw over a year later was their only televised match, and other than that they had only a few scattered house show matches, many of them in California. Seems cruel to present an Earthquake as a babyface in California but that's what they do. This was great in its too brief existence. We get some good shoving to start, Earthquake showing off his footwork to dodge Yokozuna's shoves, running into Yokozuna with shoulderblocks that make both take a step back. Yokozuna takes over with a back elbow to counter an Earthquake avalanche, and runs over Earthquake like it's nothing. Maybe I just get dewy-eyed and sappy during a wrestling match between two gigantic fat guys, but I tell you the air went out of the crowd when Earthquake took that back bump. Yokozuna dropped a gorgeous legdrop and Earthquake did a full body spasm like he had just been decapitated, and I was shocked at how quickly and easily Yokozuna put things away with the banzai splash. This match felt big enough to be a PPV attraction and get 12 minutes. But some things can only be contained in short starbursts. This was only their second match, and all 3 of these minutes were great. But it's a shame that we never got to see them have an actual war of the colossus.

The Beverly Brothers vs. The Undertaker

ER: This was advertised on the arena sign as Undertaker vs. Papa Shango, so I guess they felt like since they blatantly false advertised one of the two matches they announced for this show, the best way to pay that back was by just having three minutes of Undertaker laying waste. The great twist, is that I think this 3 minute sprint is more entertaining than any Undertaker/Soul Taker match I can remember. Undertaker vs. Papa Shango doesn't play as big as it should, but this handicap match was like a T-Rex vs. two velociraptors. But, well, two dumb jock velociraptors. This looked like it was going to be a one-sided mauling, both Beverlys getting run over by Undertaker for a minute straight after cheapshotting him before the bell. Bloom and Enos are both great bumpers, and they play this match like they were Kaientai, and it was the best. They get some brief control, when Bloom hits Taker with a chair and Enos snaps his neck over the top rope. The crowd reactions for Taker's deadman sit-ups keep getting louder, and the Beverlys act more and more annoying the longer they're in control. Undertaker has a fun time with the whole thing, and it looked like he was doing his own separate bit at ringside as he kept stumbling and falling into Mike McGuirk. Beverlys hit a bunch of elbowdrops after hitting a tandem vertical suplex, but leave their backs turned for far too long around a man known for rising from the dead, and the Reno kids lost it when he sat up again and ran wild. Enos takes a huge cartwheeling bump over the top to the floor to sell an uppercut, Bloom gets finished in ring by the Tombstone.

Berzerker vs. Bob Backlund

ER: Berzerker is a great house show act, as he works with the crowd and does unique bits more than any other wrestler from this era, even more than Flair. Here he barks ar Backlund and starts whipping at him with the belt from his tunic while Backlund is folding his ring jacket, that belt coming closer and closer with each whip. The crowd reacts with some real hostility to this one, the Reno crowd booing Backlund's dorkiness at the bell and only mildly getting behind him when he swept Berzerker's leg into Berzerker doing the splits. Berzerker getting his leg swept or kicked into doing the splits is the kind of spot that should get a big reaction every time, but this is a weird pairing and the crowd didn't seem to like it. It's funny when Berzerker rolls out of the ring and is out of camera sight, but you can hear him Hussing around ringside at people. They take a long time to lock up, with Berzerker repeatedly challenging Backlund to reach up and grab his right hand way up in the air, and Backlund responding with trepidation. 

The crowd seems annoyed that the match isn't starting at first, and then Berzerker keeps milking the annoyed reaction to build more and more heat, until the crowd is loudly mocking Berzerker with Huss chants and he is doing back bumps out of frustration. Berzerker finally does get that knucklelock and forces Backlund to his knees, and Backlund valiantly fights to his feet before rolling through to his own top wristlock, which Berzerker breaks with his fist. It's like they're working a Jack Brisco/Killer Khan match straight out of 1979, and that, while simple at times, mostly works. Berzerker eventually takes one of his big backwards bumps to the floor and then marches angrily down the aisle, drawing heat the whole way. In ring he hits a couple of bodyslams and jaws at fans, and works a long (probably too long) bearhug which eventually ends with Backlund somewhat lamely just falling on Berzerker for the pin. A fan either near the camera or holding the camera thinks aloud that this was one of the worst matches he has ever seen. This was not a classic, and was somehow the second longest match on the show, but it did have its rewards.  

Ric Flair vs. Mr. Perfect

ER: This was a real crowd pleaser, the kind of strong 15 minute match that you'd want to see if you were excited to see either of these two, checking off all the greatest hit Flair boxes without ever feeling like it was coasting. Flair is a guy who can play the greatest hits and not feel like he's bored with them and can still throw in a couple surprises with a smile. It's cool seeing how big he can work a house show match, taking some painful high bumps (on a hard ring) while working toward specific sides of the crowd. He's a guy who is excellent at causing a stir in a specific section of the building, knows how to pick fights with people from the ring, and knows how to get great heat for 15 minutes. He does all his shtick and does it get: He shoves Perfect a couple times and gets slapped each time, he takes a long walk down the aisle after eating a shoulderblock, he gets caught going up top and takes a hard bump getting press slammed down, obviously he's going to take a high backdrop. 

When he's on offense he's cheating, and it gets a rise the entire time. I'm gonna give the cameraman credit for partially obscuring the lens when Flair threw a low kick and eye poke, as if he was helping Flair cheat to transition. Flair worked over Perfect's arm and held a grounded headlock while planking his legs on the middle rope. He does the full routine on two sides of the ring, and the spot our cameraman picked couldn't have framed it any better. Flair was practically working this entire routine for this guy. Flair really rubs his cheating in to our side of the ring, at one point holding just one straightened leg on the ropes while bicycling his free leg. We also get a perfectly framed shot of Flair holding his calf over Perfect's throat, like Flair was putting on a show especially for us. The finish stretch is great, with stiff chops from both, Flair getting his trunks yanked down for a good sunset flip nearfall, and then keeping them down to the glee of the crowd when he ducks his way right into a Perfect Plex. Classic house show stuff, 100% success rate. 

Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty

ER: Shawn gets announced first and does a great job getting heat just by taking off his chaps. He also tries to grab Mike McGuirk a couple times and it gets people upset because he looks like a guy who would definitely try to grab a woman. Marty is wearing fantastic turquoise and zebra tights with perfect tassels, honestly some of his best gear. A stark, damning contrast to the atrocities he would would inflict upon the Royal Rumble crowd the next night. This match had the finish stretch of that next night's match but was pretty different overall, and probably even better. There's a long Michaels abdominal stretch spot that has an excellent first act but then probably carries on a bit too long in the second act before rushing through the third. You can usually wrap up your abdominal stretch spot in one act, but it was still a great hammy Michaels performance. The best kind of hammy Michaels is house show shithead Michaels, where he's shaking his ass at the crowd and giving people in the front row cocky asshole smirks, and those abdominal stretches give him plenty of time to rub some specific fans' noses in it. Michaels goes into control really quick in this match (he skipped and floundered around the ring for a lot of okay Marty offense the next night), sending Jannetty frisbeeing into the ringpost. 

He works over Marty's arm with hammerlocks and strikes, and once he's worked over the arm enough he starts working over Marty's midsection. I love when a heel switches targets after suitably damaging one area. There's a great spot where he drops Jannetty stomach first over a chair on the outside, which at least gives us good reason to work that abdominal stretch for so long. The great first act on that stretch that I mentioned earlier, is Michaels locking it in near the ropes (for cheating purposes) and a nice build to Marty hip tossing his way out of it. But right as Marty gets there, Shawn holds onto the tope rope to block, and the blocked toss re-injures Marty's arm. GREAT spot. The finish stretch has a lot of similarities to the PPV match the next night, working out the timing for a couple of spots: Jannetty catching Michaels with a DDT after Michaels thought he got out of the way of a fistdrop, and Michaels missing a superkick only to be nailed with one for a close 2. If anything, Earl Hebner was really rushing counts, which didn't give a lot of time for the nearfalls to settle in, but added a manic feel that the crowd did respond to. Since Sherri wasn't here, the finish was different, simple, and well done. Michaels gets thrown into the buckles and slumps into them, but ducks out of the way of a great Jannetty missed avalanche and then scrambles onto him for a quick pin. He shoots a quick Fuck Yeah glance at a person at ringside he'd been taunting the whole match, and BAM, Shawn Michaels has left the building. 

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE WWF 305 LIVE

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The Joy of WWF Saturday Night's Main Event 7/28/90

During this era, there was no program I looked forward to more than Saturday Night's Main Event. My dad would tape it for me and I'd watch the tapes over and over, and this episode was one of my favorites. It's a loaded episode with all the belts on the line, and several memorable performances. Let's see how much I like it 30 years later. 

Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior

ER: A smokin' great Rude performance in front of an unhinged crowd that loved every single thing Warrior did. Warrior's entrance reactions were at their peak here (and it's kind of amazing how loud this crowd stayed for this show considering they had already sat through THREE long Superstars tapings) and Rude was almost certainly Warrior's best ever opponent. This isn't one of their greatest matches, and Rude doesn't get much offense, but Rude stooged his way through this and built to him almost winning the belt. Rude took big bumps on Irish whips into turnbuckles, got tossed by a press slam, ate axe handles like they were dangerous projectiles, and gave us two immaculate atomic drop sells. I can't imagine having more fun as a professional wrestler than getting atomic dropped in front of 8,000 loud fans, then sticking your tailbone out and duck walking across the ring on your tiptoes before getting laid out with a clothesline. Rude's atomic drop selling is probably the greatest stooge sell of all time, and it's amazing how uniquely he treated the bump and always found new gags to add in. I love the heel aspect of Rude coming back by wasting Warrior with a belt shot, nailing him with a convincing nearfall Rude Awakening, leaping onto his back to really sink in a sleeper (Warrior hilariously getting his leg lifted by the ref like he's doing Jan Fonda glute exercises), and of course all the distraction and interference Heenan ran from ringside. I loved Heenan stopping the count and then walking all the way down the entrance way like he was just minding his own business, not interfering in a pro wrestling match. The finish is a big mess with Warrior taking it all out on Heenan (Heenan gets his face bounced off all the turnbuckles and takes a wild bump to the floor after getting tossed) and the match gets called a DQ. But what a tremendous Rude performance, the kind that keeps moving him up my list of favorite wrestlers ever. 

They play *that* Hulk Hogan tribute video, and watching it again with adult eyes I kind of forgive myself for thinking that Hulk Hogan had actually died because of Earthquake. If you showed this to someone who was unfamiliar with the angle, I can only assume that they would think Hulk Hogan died, or at minimum was seriously injured. The entire video really plays like Hogan got crushed to death by Earthquake. I liked the in ring Hogan promo and the intensity of Earthquake/Dino Bravo surrounding the ring, with a big tumbling save from Tugboat. I'm really surprised they didn't run the Hogan/Tugboat vs. Earthquake/Bravo tag match sooner (they ran it a few times on house shows, but not for several months after this aired, and this tag didn't air on TV until 6 months later), but this angle played out really well on TV. 

The Rockers vs. Demolition (Smash/Crush)

ER: Crush is kinda clumsy and doesn't have great timing, and this probably would have been better with Ax and Smash. But Ax gives a strong ringside performance and Smash puts in a great performance. Barry Darsow was a real goofball but was good at creating openings for the small Rockers and good at directing tags with Crush. Rockers looked good, had a couple nice headscissors and dropkicked both Smash and Crush to the floor. Eadie hits a great lariat on the floor to allow Demolition to take control, and the simple control segment is good. Crush hits big backbreakers on Marty Jannetty and even hits a cool press slam to throw him from the floor over the top rope. Michaels and Crush probably mix up less than anyone in the match, but Crush was fun as a big lug taking cruiser offense. The finish run is really fun with the Rockers hitting a great tandem superkick on Smash, then hitting the spot of the match with a gorgeous tandem fistdrop. Michaels hits an O'Connor roll on Smash but Ax comes in and nukes him with a clothesline, fun use of the masked heel finish. 

Mr. Perfect vs. Tito Santana

ER: This was great, a rematch of the finals of the IC Title tourney (after Warrior vacated the title), and even better than that match. Tito gets such a wonderful, loud babyface reaction throughout the match, with especially loud cheers coming from women. The cheers were higher pitch and loud, and Perfect bumped all over the ring and floor in a way that really made it look like Tito had a chance. Sure, it's not surprising to hear that Perfect bumped his way through a match, but these bumps came off like Tito was a serious threat, almost all of them felt like an actual extension of the move he was taking and not like athletic showing off. He flew to the floor two different times, really flying out past the top rope no his way to the floor; he took a couple of his signature flip bumps that land him on his head, getting his leg swept on the floor and in the ring. The in ring leg sweep bump is Perfect's signature, but I don't remember seeing him use it on the floor like this, not often. 

We get a long stretch of Earl Hebner selling a leg injury, and it takes a lot for Tito and Perfect to not let him overshadow everything. Hebner got run up on and he drags himself all around the edges of the ring as if he took sniper fire from the rafters. He's a wounded soldier in there and hilariously, Perfect has to overact just to try to combat Hebner's extreme overacting. So Hennig is selling Tito's figure 4 as if acid were being slowly poured up his legs, and we build to a nice dramatic moment where Tito hits the flying forearm and Hebner laboriously crawls over, bleeding out, leg likely already lost, and only makes a 2 count. Fans really want Tito to take this, and it's a great moment when Tito finally gets his new referee, running triumphantly down to the ring to gently nudge Hebner out to the floor. Once we get the new ref, the home stretch is brilliant. Perfect takes TWO atomic drops, meaning this show had TWO Minnesotans (the biological best bumpers on the planet) each taking TWO atomic drops and creating FOUR unique atomic drop bumps in the process (Perfect's silliest involved him getting bounced face first into the turnbuckle). The finish itself is so well executed and felt like one of those cool Arn finishes: Tito ducks down for a backdrop that Perfect scouts, Perfect stops short and grabs him for a Perfect Plex, Tito expects that and blocks it with a small package, and Perfect reversed the small package and narrowly escapes with a 3. I could easily see someone lifting this finish today, except Perfect and Tito made it look like actual logical reversals and not two dance partners over anticipating movements that haven't yet come. This is one of the more fondly remembered matches in SNME history, and it earns that acclaim. 

Buddy Rose vs. Kerry von Erich

ER: This is von Erich's TV debut, and really there aren't many cooler things in wrestling history than Kerry von Erich's long shag underneath a headband. Buddy Rose is a really fun but opponent for a debuting von Erich. Rose is gigantic and has two of the more memorable bumps on a show that had Rick Rude, Shawn Michaels, and Mr. Perfect in full title matches. He slaps Kerry to start and spends the rest of the match getting his ass kicked in and out of the ring. It's great. Kerry slams him, Buddy stumbles around and gets caught in the ropes, does that crazy huge fat guy Harley Race bump where he hangs off the bottom rope by his feet and falls on his head, and he leans right into a spins into the mat after taking the discus punch. This match and a two minute Superstars match are the only two times these absolute wrestling legends crossed paths, two stars from different worlds orbiting each other for merely 5 total minutes. 

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New Footage Friday: WWF in Kuwait! WWF in Germany!

Rock n Roll Express vs. Smoking Gunns WWF 7/94

MD: This was basically everything you could have wanted from a random 1994 Smoking Gunns vs RnRs German house show match. Express played the heels and while I've seen that before, I'm not sure I've seen it too much against an over babyface teem significantly bigger than them. They opened up the bag of tricks to really put over their opponents, giving back with a lot of the spots that they had taken advantage of over the years and feeding, feeding, feeding like the pros that they were. For the most part the Gunns' timing was on (there were one or two moments towards the end that were iffier including Gibson having to practically shout to draw a ref distraction for an illegal switch and the finish), and even with the poor VQ, you can tell that they were able to use their size at the right times in the right ways to engage the crowd. It was one of those matches where you worry the heat would never come, but when it did it was great, full of hope spots and cut offs that played to the size and a call-back spot for the big comeback that really worked. If you told me this was the best match the Gunns ever had, I'd believe you and it feels like another tiny feather in the exceptionally large cap of the Express.

ER: I love Rock n Roll heel matches, and I love that the man responsible for the popularity of the undersized babyface in peril is the guy who is the heel against two men significantly larger than he. It's not like they suddenly work more vicious or anything, they just know the small things that make guys the ones to root against in a wrestling match, and they're smart enough about it the fans eventually ignore what their brains tell them about who should and shouldn't be the underdog. For the bulk of this match the only offense they got was a couple of kicks to the stomach, and they're able to expertly take the role of their own foils and show how great they can make the spots look. Gunns handle all these spots and even the ones typically done by a heel (mocking the smaller opponent during a knucklelock) works flawlessly off the strengths of Ricky playing a loudmouth undersize jerk. The Gunns never land with me as a tag team, and I'm not sure why. They clearly have an understanding of basics and their timing is strong, it's just never used in very interesting ways. And I think if they worked more often like this house show version of themselves, they'd come off better for it. Here they used their size to constantly get under the skin of the RnRs, and the RnRs used their deft knowledge of match layouts to craft fun spots around the weird dynamic. I loved the dropdown spot that ended with the Ricky and Robert colliding, and loved that even when they were in control doing their rolling leg grapevines, they were still getting driven crazy from the apron. The Gunns could have really benefitted from more southern tag training, and this made me want to go check out their WWF matches with the Heavenly Bodies.

Steve Austin vs. Marty Jannetty WWF Kuwait Cup 5/8/96

MD: This is the match where Gerry Brisco choked Austin out for fun on his way back from the ring, but we don't see that. This wasn't long after the Jannetty heel turn but he's de facto face here. I vaguely wonder if WWF was a draw in Kuwait in 91, but he even got little chants. At any point in the 90s, you could drop Marty into a situation and he'd be a perfectly fine babyface, even in his sleep or drugged out of his mind. Austin, still having the Million Dollar Belt but now sans Dibiase and already Stone Cold, was more electric than not, with lots of jarring hand and head motions, just full engagement even with the heat. When they worked a grounded chinlock, he was entirely into it. When he targeted the back for a minute or two, everything was focused and credible and inevitable. Marty had a quick but spirited comeback but this was always going to be another notch in Austin's belt.

ER: (I don't think I've heard this Brisco story that Matt mentioned) I love night off Austin because he's not a guy who is boring while taking a night off. He doesn't have to do a lot, but he's classically trained and knows how to work a big crowd in small ways, an easy heel base to play off Marty's classic babyface. Austin is entertaining to me when he's just getting foiled by armdrags and dropkicks, a guy who entertains me by slapping the mat and kicking his feet in frustration while in a move. Jannetty is wearing that hype Jerry Estrada/Ultimate Warrior/Pia Zadora stage wear, tassels flying when he bumps (and he does take a big bump after getting tossed to the floor by Austin). This is all super simple stuff that these two probably threw together on the spot, and I love seeing the bones like that. I'll always pop for Austin draping his opponent over the ropes, and then running in with a missed attack. He finds so many fun ways to bounce on the ropes before getting flung to the mat, and I gotta imagine it was incredibly fun doing a spot like this for fans who had never seen it before.

Bret Hart vs. Leif Cassidy WWF Kuwait Cup 5/8/96

MD: It's very weird to see Bret post-Mania 12. He doesn't show back up on TV until October, past an interview or two. It's even weirder to see him with actual announcing talking about his loss. This was a curiosity to me, because I thought Snow would leap at the chance to wrestle Bret in a setting like this and would try more things. He really doesn't. It's very by the books, but in a way that no one did better than Bret. I assume this had to do with the heat more than anything else because Ross and Hayes don't shut up about it. Instead, Snow leans into the shtick, complaining about the hair before using it himself, then it's a lot of chinlocks and headlocks, with eyerakes and hair pulls for cutoff. The timing's good, with them never sitting in anything for long. Some of the actual cutoffs with Bret trying to escape the headlock look pretty wild and gritty. There's one great eyerake (the main point of transition to heel control actually) off of the side backbreaker (here the first move of doom attempt) that was creative. I like how Bret couldn't therefore hit any of his big moves until he fought free and then he hit all of them at once. Snow let himself get spiked off of a caught leapfrog to set up the Sharpshooter, but that was about the biggest bump he took. This was just a match instead of anything special.

ER: I was way more into this one than Matt was, and thought it was a great heel Leif performance. In fact I would wager than no man among us has seen better "He's pulling my hair" mannerisms than what Leif gives us here. This man goes to Shinsuke Nakamura levels of ropes work to show just how hard Bret Hart yanked his hair. I was dying at Leif practically dropping down into a full back bridge just to show how criminally Bret was yanking his shag. And so of course it's perfect when he exclusively starts yanking Hart by his hair. I thought the headlock spots were really good. Hart is someone who knows how to work a headlock, both sides of it. Hart is really good at being in a headlock and shoving someone off, and he's good at holding onto a headlock when getting shoved off. I loved him trying to shove Cassidy off a side headlock, Cassidy going to the hair and maintaining that headlock, and both skidding to the mat with Cassidy locking it on even tighter. It's two pros working a match with hardly any moves or highspots, all headlocks and lock ups and eye rakes, and it all worked. It felt like the kind of match you'd see Lawler work against Doug Gilbert on a handheld, and Cassidy was a really great Doug Gilbert, because the few moments that needed someone with speed and agility lead to a couple of physical exchanges you wouldn't see from Dougie. The finish was logical and tight, with Cassidy lured into a speed game and baited into doing a leapfrog, with Hart slightly slowing down his momentum to catch him instead in a sidewalk slam and quick tap sharpshooter.

Savio Vega vs. Bob Backlund WWF Kuwait Cup 5/9/96

MD: This was amazing. It's five minutes. They don't touch until 4:30 in, but out of all of these Kuwait matches we have, this has the most heat by far. Backlund stalls and throws a fit and demands a handshake and hides in the ropes and Savio gets more over than anyone else on these shows by playing off of it, pointing and waggling his finger. They run about 1.5 spots before the roll up which just makes the crowd erupt. Just beautiful crowd manipulation.

ER: This really was great. This Kuwait tour gave us the Butch Miller singles match we wanted, and now it's giving us deep cut Bob Backlund in ways I've never seen him before. I don't think of Bob Backlund being around and wrestling when I think of 1996 WWF, but it's great. This is several minutes of Bob Backlund circling the ring, considering getting into the ring, briefly rolling into the ring to restart the count, and then circling the ring. He walks down the aisle, comes back, can't seem to understand why the fans in Kuwait aren't more excited for him. Now, the ring was on an elevated platform in the middle of this stadium, meaning there were a couple of steps from the entrance aisle up to the ringside area. And sadly, Backlund does not just spend several minutes doing the Harvard Step Test on those entrance steps. The best thing about this Kuwait footage (not just this new footage but the 80s stuff we've also reviewed) is how much the old stuff works on these fans. It's fun watching guys in a WWF ring essentially work like they're a 55 year old years removed from active ring time vet working a local high school. I could not believe how loudly the fans reacted when Savio played possum and got a small package. This was the best version of seeing a Honky Tonk Man match live at the fair in 2000 (I saw that).

HHH vs. Bushwhacker Butch WWF Kuwait Cup 5/9/96

MD: Happy Triple H 25th Anniversary everyone. Here at Segunda Caida, we celebrate to the proper level, a ten minute match with Bushwhacker Butch from Kuwait. I'm watching this one because Eric is and either it's solidarity or this is what we do to one another. This was round one of the tournament. Hunter would go on to lose it in the finals against Ahmed, all a couple of weeks before the curtain call, so he was still high on the rise. Despite what I just said, Hunter's a guy who pays attention, who always paid attention. This was the match that immediately followed the Backlund/Aldo match, and Hunter, up against a 52 year old Butch in a place scorching hot enough that one of the first thing we catch in the match is Hayes saying on commentary is that they need more water, is going to go with what just worked. That meant lots of early ducking out of the ring and lots of nose-related stooging, though some of that might not have played to the back row given the size of the crowd. Butch was game and focused, quick to engage by adding to the ref's count or throwing out a Yeaaaaah. This is basically the best Hunter, right? Stooging, pretty selfless in getting his opponent over, really leaning into the mannerisms and crowd interaction between moves when he takes over, even selling the nose post-match. They weren't really into Butch's hope spots but they definitely booed on the cut offs. Hayes and Ross were fun on commentary going on about Sheepherding and talking about seeing Ali in the Superdome together. This was probably the best conventional ten minute match these two could have in 96, but I wouldn't have wanted to follow Backlund vs Vega.

ER: This is really exciting, as this may be the only Butch Miller singles match to exist from his long WWF run. Matt was running through matches from the Kuwait Cup that suddenly showed up, and I said we obviously had to do Butch vs. HHH, as I always enjoy HHH matches when he's in there with a vet that can actually lead him through some simple things. This is the kind of dumb rarity that I love, where we get a Butch Miller singles match in WWF past the point that most people even realized the Bushwhackers were in WWF. The Bushwhackers are super weird to still be around in 1996, and a Bushwhacker singles match just wasn't something that was happening on WWF shows. I love that kind of thing. And this really is a Hunter to celebrate, as not only do we get an insanely late era Bushwhacker singles match, but it goes 12 minutes! I love it. Hunter stooges for good headlocks and comedic nose ripping, and is a good sport for Butch. Butch seems to occasionally move or fall in a totally unexpected way, and Hunter played off that really well. The fans were more into Butch than you'd think they'd be, and that played into some of the fun here. Hunter ramps up the bumps as the match goes on, and peaks things with his roll up the turnbuckles and back down bump, and Butch starts taking fast back bumps as Hunter fires back. Hunter was super giving here and it made for a really fun old guy match, and I couldn't get over what an oddity it was that Miller was still on the roster. I wanted to see a stiff arm lariat from him and eventually got that too. I'm glad we spent time on this.

Issac Yankem DDS/Bob Backlund vs. Savio Vega/Yokozuna WWF Kuwait Cup 5/12/96

MD: What a weird match-up. I get that WWF was less calcified in 96 than it was in the late 80s or early 90s and that this was a foreign tour so it was about using what guys they had, but these teams didn't exactly make sense on paper. While a big chunk of this was Yankem and Vega, it was really all about Backlund and Yoko, especially Backlund interacting with Yoko. Backlund as a heel was so manic and wild, just completely bonkers, and him charging at Yoko and immediately retreating or rolling from one side of the ring to the floor on the other side is tremendously entertaining. Just watching Yoko on the apron or interacting with Savio makes me think that they should have turned him earlier. I don't think there was ever a spot for him as the Attraction with Taker in the company, but he had that mix of timing, agility (even a year or so before this), and unmistakable charisma. It was there in the way he leaned on the turnbuckle while the heels were stooging and stalling in the beginning of the match and how he spun around slowly so Savio had to run around him with their hands raised in the end. Just an incredible presence, even in the heat and even as he had put on so much more weight.

ER: Yeah this was all about the Backlund/Yoko showdowns. Backlund was back on his Kuwait bullshit, this time even running into the crowd and mixing it up with actual Kuwaiti soldiers! I laughed every time he would charge at Yoko only to retreat the second he got next to him, the whole thing felt like something Candido would do on an indy show. Charge at the big guy, bump yourself to the floor to get into it with more fans. Yokozuna was enormous here, getting towards the end of his WWF run, but he was still so good. I don't think he had the same charisma as immobile Andre, but Andre was the best at emoting and projecting danger while being immobile. Seeing Yokozuna work the apron and almost rib Vega and his opponents in little ways was a fun side of him that would have played well on TV. I'm pretty sure I've never seen he and Backlund cross paths, two World Champs going at it, both not exactly in their prime but with the skills and muscle memory to make this worth it. I also love that the whole match is Backlund running distraction, flailing arms, butt sticking out, eyes wild, and it all builds to the Yankem/Yoko showdown. And Yoko hilariously just plants Yankem with the Samoan drop, slowly gets back to his feet, and drags him over to the corner for the banzai drop. I loved Savio leaping onto Yoko's back in celebration after the match, Yoko not even acting like a full large grown man is on him.

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