Found Footage Friday: KONG~! KANSAI~! HAMADA~! SATOMURA~! STOMPER~! HEENAN HANDCUFFED TO T~!

Frank Hickey vs. Mongolian Stomper Kansas City 1960s

MD: This was another old match that Charles from Wrestling Playlists posted last year in one of his huge tape buying sprees. As best as I can tell, the Geigel match from earlier in this show was online but this wasn't. It's certainly a moment in time and a moment in pro wrestling canon in its own way. More on that in a minute. Stomper, at this point, had the look (mostly shaved head, fu manchu style goatee) but he talked just like a normal guy and wasn't affected (in his inner ear) by the crowd's boos. Hickey had an elaborate costume with a cape and a headguard. They don't call him the Spaceman here, but he was. I don't know if this was heel vs heel or what but these were just two big guys throwing big shots for the most part. Hickey controlled this more than I'd expect, honestly, as Stomper was pushed harder and talked about going after Thesz post match. Midway through the match, a hulking figure with glasses from the crowd walked up to ringside and had to be shuffled away. That was a debuting Ox Baker (no facial hair) and one subplot through the match was the commentary talking about how they had to turn him down when he wanted to wrestle before because despite being 300 pounds he wasn't trained. At the end of the clip,  after Stomper had won somewhat anticlimactically, they said that the promoters were going to allow Ox to wrestle that coming Thursday and he got to introduce himself. Interesting little angle/gimmick for the 60s. To me, it was just strange to see the Stomper not even trying to put on foreign airs.

Superstar Billy Graham vs. Hercules WWF 8/15/87

MD: This was another recent Richard Land find so you'll have to go find his patreon. While there was absolutely no way it could live up to its promise on paper, it was still pretty great, all the more so because I didn't realize what the post-match was going to be. This was when Graham was stepping in for Patera. The match itself was ok. Hercules created the motion with a few big bumps. He had some nice cutoffs. Graham controlled the middle and was able to stand tall with his strength. They had a nice finish where Hercules tried to slam Graham from the outside in and got rolled through on it. 

The real appeal here, however, was Heenan. This had the one-two punch of Heenan handcuffed to Mr. T and the losing manager having to get whipped, so you can only imagine all of Heenan's mannerisms as he got yanked around by T and then the whole hoopla of the post-match with Hercules trying desperately to protect his manager and then Graham and finally Patera getting their shots in on a writhing, squirming Heenan as the crowd went wild. I wish there was more of it. A lot of the time we just got glimpses in the corner of the screen of Heenan's reactions. This was definitely more for the live crowd, but I'm glad we got to see it at all.

ER: I thought Heenan's promo to start this whole segment was far and away the most cutting thing. Heenan wasn't funny at all, he was ruthless. I mean, he was funny, but he came off tough, like a guy who ran a hard card game. When he was talking about being cuffed to Mr. T he straight up told Ken Patera to put the cuffs on himself, as a little stroll down memory lane. He talked about how everyone you see with big arms and a big body is unemployed, because working men can't spend 8 hours lifting and 8 hours working. He makes fun of Graham for eating 19 cans of tuna and 65 raw eggs all day. It's a promo that felt like real hate, and it made the match more disappointing for having hardly any hate at all. I don't think any of the Heenan/Mr. T payoffs were there and it was one of those reminders of how big wrestlers were and how small actors are. When Bobby Heenan is larger than Mr. T and he just cut a promo about real tough men from the midwest, I want more than just 10 minutes of Heenan cowering from T on the floor. 

It's insane how Billy Graham aged 30 years in 10. 1987 Billy Graham works like 75 year old Jimmy Valiant. 10 years earlier he was the most charismatic man in the building and here he's like 1999 Terry Gordy. Hercules I thought looked great. His kneedrops and elbowdrop and knuckle locks and big bump to the floor selling for Graham all looked strong. He had a pretty steep hill to climb and the stipulation would have been more fun if it had ended with Heenan bumping for Mr. T and Patera instead of absorbing pulled belt shots thrown by a one armed man and a suddenly elderly man. 

Aja Kong/Dynamite Kansai vs. Ayako Hamada/Meiko Satomura GAEA 6/22/03

MD: It's hard for me to write this one up. So much happens. It's one imaginative, iconic spot after the next. You watch it and by the end you forgot that Aja branded the guardrail at one point even though it was awesome in the moment. They just pack in so much in twenty minutes and while there are themes (Kansai going for the Splash Mountain until she gets it, it gets broken up, and then she gets it again for the win, for instance), and while I'd even say it comes together and never entirely falls apart, it's just a lot to keep track of. Here, of course, you have not just the problem of Aja early on but also the problem of Kansai where she can just catch you in a claw and slam you to the ground. Even worse for Hamada and Satomura is when you get the problem of both, where you can put one down but the other is creeping over to hit you with a lariat. There was one point where Hamada was pinballing back and forth to kick Kansai to try to break an ankle lock on Satomura and then nail Aja so Aja wouldn't flatten her and she had two or three tries to do that before she just got crushed by Aja.

In some ways, despite all the spots and bombs and bumps (and occasionally weapons) this did have a bit of a sports feel where Hamada and Satomura would get lots of little shots on goal, but all it would take would be one breakaway from Kong/Kansai to end it and everyone knew it. Some of that was from the two teams just constantly pressing forward and never letting up, even though things still had weight (of course they did) and impact. It felt like a big deal when Hamada and Satomura got their opponents down and on the ropes, and they had some very big bombs of their own (literally as they power bombed Kansai onto Aja for instance). That said, it was all just a matter of time, of course, but it was a spirited time while it lasted.

ER: I thought this was good but never came close to approaching the greatness of the Kong/Meiko match from the week before (which Matt and I wrote about earlier this month). Meiko is one of our great punishment takers, an out-laster on the same level of Yuki Ishikawa. I buy it from Meiko, it's Ayako I don't buy it from here. The excitement of the Aja/Meiko matches is how Aja is going to walk through most of Meiko's offense, and be honest about the things that slow her down. You don't just get leniency from Stan Hansen, you have to move him before he sells for you. Aja is the same, you actually need to move her or bounce her on her head, and Dynamite Kansai can do the same thing. Aja and Dynamite as a team are similar to the problem created when Vader and Hansen teamed in All Japan. They are going to walk through almost anyone and Ayako's well thrown but worked elbow smashes are not going to be taken seriously by either. I need some real fire from an underdog outsized babyface and if you're still holding back a little on arm strikes after Kansai stomps on your fucking face from the top, then I stop buying it. 

But I did like this. I made a prolonged noise I've never made before in reaction to that double stomp to the face. I let out of deep guttural oof at the finish when Aja presumably broke one of Meiko's ribs with a kick to the stomach harder than any Kawada ever threw. I liked the way Aja treated Hamada like a little pest, finally hitting her with a backfist without much effort and then sitting on her while Dynamite disposes of Meiko. There were stretches where kicks were missing and timing was behind, and that's just not going to be enough to stop two monsters. Also, it's crazy how much faster Kong's kicks look than Hamada's or Meiko's. She's like Scott Norton with speed, it's unreal. 

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Found Footage Friday: LOST 1990 WWF HOUSE SHOW~!

WWF House Show Wisconsin Fieldhouse 10/28/90

ER: I love these "undocumented" WWF house shows so much. It's like they never existed, WWF out here running secret shows in podunk towns. Matt and I wrote about a WWF Boy Scout Fundraiser show from '92, which is one of my favorite show reviews we've ever done for Segunda Caida. These shows are special. The WWF showing up in some nothing central Wisconsin town with $9 tickets sold at the local hardware store, like when some mudshow Harlem Clowns barnstormers played members my small childhood town's fire and police departments in our high school gymnasium. I was $9, my dad took me and a couple friends, and we laughed when this one Healdsburg, CA cop kept getting Clowned. I had no idea who the Harlem Clowns were before but saw the ads in our local paper, the Healdsburg Tribune, and Healdsburg wasn't a place that got "events". We were going to a town event, like when the fair would come to town. That's the best part about a show like this: It's not filmed as a wrestling show. It's filmed as a Town Event. WWF sold cheap tickets to a show at Marshfield, Wisconsin's high school gym and we get to watch the home video. My dad didn't bring the camcorder to that Harlem Clowns game, the way he would to my baseball games or recitals, but somebody's dad did. If there are a few guys out there who run a Barnstorming Basketball blog, I hope they find it. 

1. Shane Douglas vs. Black Bart

MD: This is amazing footage to have in the first place as we'd never even had the card for this, just the date. This is clipped, but you still get probably half the match. Tail end of 1990 is when I first got into wrestling as a kid (a little bit of a late arriver) so seeing Black Bart and Shane Douglas in a WWF ring is just natural for me. As an opening match on a B or C show, things could have been a lot worse. Bart was a well-oiled machine by 91; he knew what to do. He knew what not to do. He knew when to do it. He could still execute it well enough. He was never going to be the star that he claims he was going to be if you listen to him do interviews now but he could be just as valuable on an undercard as he was in 85 when he was feuding with Ron Bass in JCP. He was solid enough here that it makes me want to go back and look at his WCW and GWF stuff the following year. It's funny to think that your real bottom of the card heels in 90 WWF were Buddy Rose and Black Bart. Your bottom of the card faces were Powers and Brunzell with Douglas just a bit above them maybe as a real up and comer. Bart worked Dustin a lot around this time as well.

From what we see here, it's paint by numbers, but the numbers add up and the paint is vibrant and the kids in the crowd are into it. Douglas is snappy in his shine, including a nice headscissors takeover and Bart sailing across the ring on an armdrag. We don't see the actual transition but we come in with Bart dropping Shane over the top rope. They then work a chinlock up and down but Shane gets the crowd behind him and he's dynamic enough in the rope running out of it. The finish is a sunset flip back out of the corner and it gets a big pop. Douglas had some legs as a babyface here and they could have done something with him. There are probably dozens of shoot interviews I'm not going to listen to for why they didn't. 90-91 Bart is the one that might get another look from us though.

ER: I thought this was a great opener, and I don't think I realized how good Black Bart would be for Shane Douglas. I have seen more than enough early 90s Douglas and I don't think he typically looks as good as he did here. Bart is a big guy, the kind of big guy that dads in the crowd look at and think "yeah now that's a big guy" and the perfect kind of big guy to take Douglas's babyface fire. There were hundreds of guys working matches just like this and Bart and Douglas were doing it better than most of them. Bart really was a (for me at least) much better Ron Bass, but I don't think I ever thought of Shane Douglas as being a potentially great Ricky Morton. He looked like a great Ricky here. His two headscissors were incredible. Everything Douglas did, Bart made look better, but those headscissors would have looked great against anyone. They were the classic Robert Gibson/Marty Jannetty style and Bart is a big sold guy who is able to "stand" with them longer. Those style headscissors are always more satisfying to me when you can see the babyface actually working to take their opponent over, so Bart being able to hold Douglas up for that pause before getting slid across the ring just makes them pop. The crowd is wild for everything they do (a beautiful running theme on the afternoon) and it made the simplest things sing. 

2. Warlord vs. Tom Stone

MD: This is more like it. Tom Stone has a windbreaker that fits 1990 perfectly. Warlord is lacking Slick but has the full half helmet and armor and staff. I watched some 87 Warlord in New Japan recently where he was the Dangerous Violence Warlord and very green. That Warlord would have given Stone half of the match. This one did not. It was worked like an enhancement match. Real Immovable Object vs. Stoppable Force stuff. Stone tried some clotheslines and punches and staggered Warlord a little but he did a good job portraying how shocked he was that things weren't working instead of doing what Duggan or Bossman would do and build up momentum. That meant he ran into a clothesline eventually. Warlord was really good at setting his stuff up, a bit lift of the arm before coming down with it, that sort of thing, but the impact never lived up to the preamble. Stone's big comeback was two eye rakes and the biting of the eye which seemed to confuse the crowd more than anything else. Then he ran into a lovely big boot and ate the running power slam. This didn't try to be more than what it should have been because of the setting. That meant no lengthy nerve hold. Unless Stone's family was in the crowd, I don't think anyone was disappointed at its absence.

ER: I'm a big Tom Rocky Stone guy, even though he's someone we barely write about. He's a guy I kept trying to get on the DVDVR 80s AWA set, just because I wanted him represented somehow. What's the best Tom Stone match? I have no idea. He didn't get anywhere near the same match length opportunities as the similar-but-different Iron Mike Sharpe, was never used by WWF as a job guy who would put up a fight or could occasionally win. Stone had to do things to stand out while rarely getting out of 2 minute losses. Here, we get 5 minutes of Stone and while none of his offense is really sold, it's a much broader picture of the kind of personality Stone could bring to a loss (that looked like it was headed towards a loss every second of the match). I love his windbreaker, love his dedication to the job guy singlet (the one with the horizontal strap joining the shoulder straps), and love how he still knew how to land offense that looked good while knowing it wouldn't be acknowledged. His clotheslines looked great, his punches looked even better - grabbing Warlord's head with his left and throwing heavy shots with his right - but his perplexed looks in the corner took the cake. He had no entry point into Warlord, he knew he had no entry point, and knew he had no shot. 

Everybody in Marshfield knew that Tom Stone had no shot. He was Mr. Belding in a way that is necessary but now completely unrepresented in wrestling. I don't think any wrestler projected School Principal than Tom Stone. If you didn't know better, you'd think he actually was a teacher at Marshfield High. We have all watched and attended wrestling shows where a teacher from that gymnasium's high school got into the ring. I went to a show at Antioch High School to see Greg Valentine and Sabu and Antioch High School's football coach wrestle. Tom Stone is the most subtly, skillfully acted goofball science teacher wrestling at his school's fundraiser. He's made for this show. He's the fucking Bruno Sammartino of this specific kind of show. His frustration at his own ineffectiveness, a great "here it goes" shake of the head, and a total surprise when he raked at Warlord's eyes and actually bit his eye! A reminder that Tom Stone is a bad guy who actually wants to win. A great pro wrestler. 

Warlord looked like trash. I've watched a lot of Maxx Muscle matches and Warlord was not as good as Maxx Muscle. He has no weight of any kind behind anything he did. His big boot was light, his clothesline soft. That's not really important. If Warlord had walked by me in my town's high school gym when I was 9 years old, my jaw would have been dropped. Gassed out guy in a helmet and Conan weapon would impress the hell out of 9 year old me. Warlord looks huge in a high school gym. You've never seen a bigger person in that building. His match ending powerslam was a real powerslam, an important lesson for wrestlers in "ending the match on a high note". Save your best thing for your last thing. Marshfield will remember Warlord's size and powerslam and nothing else he did. That means it worked. 

 

3. Sgt. Slaughter vs. Nikolai Volkoff

MD: Legitimately shocking. Slaughter came out to huge, huge heat with Adnan and the flag and singing the Iraqi anthem and calling people maggots. Volkoff had a huge pop and the US flag. I do like how this is an inversion. By that I mean, if you ever see a parody of pro wrestling, you'll never see the foreign guy as the face and the American as the turncoat, and Volkoff was super super over during the summer of 90. The whole bit he did with the scouts made him something like the third or fourth top babyface in WWF, at least for a few months. It really did set up the heel Slaughter character well and this was a mauling. Slaughter ambushed Volkoff from behind as Adnan was waving the flag at him and he never let up. His stuff was pointed and credible, mean, just rubbing Volkoff's face in the ground, plastering him with shots from every angle, just being relentless. Warlord is supposed to be slow and methodological, but the difference in the actual perceived impact was telling. You keep looking for Volkoff's comeback and it never gets there. He just eats a bunch of elbow drops and the camel clutch, followed by a post match beating.

ER: When Matt sent me the card for this show it hadn't crossed my mind that Sgt. Slaughter would be bringing his Iraqi Sympathizer routine to this high school. It would have been so fucking wild if someone came flying an Iraqi flag into my school when I was a kid. How could people in central Wisconsin process a guy coming into their town and rooting for Iraq? Do they know the formula? Could they understand it was all part of the show? What's the percentage of Believers? The Gulf War was fresh in 1990. I, a child, would not have been permitted to show any kind of allegiance with Iraq on school grounds and I wish I could have seen the reactions from my town's adults. Sgt. Slaughter praising Iraq and shouting a G rated Tracy Smothers promo at the unexpecting crowd is an incredible sight on its own, but, even as a child, I would have expected Sgt. Slaughter's comeuppance to be arriving any minute. 

Matt's not wrong about how loved Volkoff was that summer, but even if he hadn't been, it was a man waving a large American flag in the face of a man waving an Iraqi flag at what was basically the onset of the Gulf War. Everybody in that building knew that America would come out of this looking good. 

And then Sgt. Slaughter just fucked Volkoff up for several minutes and got him to tap without ever absorbing a single shot, then continued fucking Volkoff up after winning. I and everyone in Marshfield knew that it was only a matter of time before one of Slaughter's constant barrage of kicks to the ribs and big man shots to the body got turned back against him, and instead American got run the fuck over and buried like if the first 15 minutes of Red Dawn had been the whole movie. I don't know if I have ever seen America fare worse in a high school gymnasium. This might be our greatest document of America in the role of Yoji Anjo flying to America fight Rickson Gracie. 

4. Rockers vs. Power and Glory

MD: Really good tag. Great Michaels performance too but everyone was on here. It started with Jannetty hitting a top rope fist on Hercules who was swinging his chain in the middle of the ring for an awesome visual to start and never really let up. Rockers kept outquicking Power and Glory's attempt to cheat to take over to keep the shine but it was overall pretty brisk. Nothing wore out its welcome. When Jannetty was in there (and getting a chant), Shawn was engaged on the apron. It took a fairly complex series of three or four cheating attempts to finally take over on Michaels. They mostly worked over his leg. There was a great hope spot where Roma was stepping on the ankle to prevent him from tag and so he could taunt Jannetty and Michaels worked himself halfway up and did a sort of falling punch which looked perfect given the HH quality. They were drawing a bunch of heat by attacking Jannetty on the apron and focusing on the leg, building to Michaels kicking Herc into the corner on a spinning toe hold. Jannetty came in hot setting up the finish where Michaels, having been tossed outside, pulled Hercules away allowing Jannetty to duck the double clothesline and hit a cross body on Roma. Fans were into this and if anything, I could have used an extra minute or two.

ER: Great tag match from two of the great WWF tag teams. Power and Glory were so good. Of course the Rockers were good but Power and Glory were so good. Hercules and Paul Roma are each guys who don't give enough credit. Hercules' as a worker keeps looking better and better the more I revisit that era. He's another act that plays huge in a high school gym. Look how he swings the chains, knowing exactly how close he can stand to Marty Jannetty to not actually chain whip the man while still swinging the chains at full extension. Paul Roma, meanwhile, holds up tremendously, as he's the greasiest slimeball around and looks and acts like someone who should be the greasiest slimeball around. He was born into being an asshole. You cannot look like Paul Roma and not be a jackoff. This building understood that on sight, and they also understood that the Rockers were the coolest boys in town. Marty Jannetty especially got a huge reaction, and the opening of this match should have been the way a classic PPV match happened. Hercules swinging chains in Marty's face, Marty climbing to the top rope and leaping off with a fist to the face. 

I love watching southern tag formula in American gyms. Bad versions of it usually work, great versions of it lead to ear splitting joyous reactions. When Marty tags in after Michaels has been getting his leg kicked and stomped over? It's impossible to picture anything or anyone getting a louder reaction. Power and Glory did nothing over the top to work over Michaels' knee, other than look exactly the way Power and Glory look and simply kicking and stomping at his leg. They didn't need to do anything else, the energy was perfect. It could have gone on another 10 minutes and it only would have gotten better with each minute. This crowd would have been along for every stomp and every close tag. I do wish Michaels had been cut off from a tag one or two or three more times, but this deserved every scream of that hot tag. The Marty chants are calorific icing. 

5. Koko B. Ware vs. Boris Zhukov

MD: Koko looks like a million bucks here. Most entertaining, compelling, engaging babyface in the world. Zhukov does his part to start, stalling early while Koko keeps the USA chants going and holds court in the ring, and then walking right into a whole lot of stooing shtick. The best bit was when Koko would headbutt him and Zhukov would stagger and then Koko would mock the stagger. Legitimately funny stuff. Eventually Zhukov dragged him down into that nerve hold I was worried about in the Warlord match, but it worked here far better. Some good hope spots and cutoffs before Koko came back and eventually won it with a missile dropkick so high that he basically bounced off the top of Zhukov's head. I'm not doing this one justice but it was very good for what it was.

ER: Was every person on this roster just the perfect High School Gym Attraction? Any child who sees Koko B. Ware dance into their gym, literal parrot on his shoulder, bronze suit glittering, looking like the coolest confident most fun person in the world. A Megastar cartoon of a man. I dated a girl my age whose connection to wrestling was watching Sunday morning WWF with her brother, and Koko B. Ware was her favorite. How couldn't he be the favorite? Do you know how wide I smiled and how my voice went up when a hot girl told me she loved Koko B. Ware at some point in her life. That's special. We'll have that. I smile when I pass my Koko Hasbro. If, instead of Koko B. Ware - a name every American should be allowed to hear once in their life, because it's a fake name that has a real chance to stick with someone after hearing it just one time. What's a better pro wrestler name than Koko B. Ware? Gorilla Monsoon? Probably. But not many. We should have been given Attitude era Koko. Lives would have changed. The charm of children asking questions on pro wrestling handhelds is one of the truly innocent and charming experiences in our scumbag obsession of choice. Suddenly every child in every part of this building had questions when Koko B. Ware appeared in their lives. 

6. Texas Tornado vs. Mr. Perfect

MD: I don't know about this one. It had some weird, weird structural things that would have made more sense if Perfect had the belt and wasn't the challenger. He attacked Kerry on the way in, but Kerry came back, hit the tornado punch on the floor, and then started play King of the Mountain, keeping Perfect out of the ring. It was pretty back and forth after that with Perfect able to chip away but never hold control for long. Kerry was going to Kerry. They definitely felt more room to breathe given that this was a house show that no one was ever going to see. Perfect BLOCKED the discus punch on the inside. Kerry hit it another time or two in the match incidentally, just twirling around after his punches. Kerry kicked out of the PerfectPlex. At some point, you got the sense that maybe they were just having fun with it because they were on a B show in Wisconsin? 

The finish was fun with Perfect undoing the turnbuckles but Kerry cutting him off and running him across the ring to faceplant him into the metal. Perfect did a triple gainer in the air exactly as you'd want him to in that situation but he still managed to kick out at too. It didn't matter much though as Kerry just spun around the ring at full speed to hit the tornado punch one last time for the win. Post-match, Hennig just decided to lay there for a bit. It was an entertaining house show performance (and has value along those lines certainly) but I don't it necessarily had the substance to go along with the sizzle.

ER: I wish we had sound during Kerry's entrance because that crowd looked loud and Kerry took a long time with it, slow walked it in his perfect jacket. But we have all of this full match, and I loved it a lot more than Matt. I thought this was a great match, a stiff dominating heel Perfect performance against a tough fight back aw shucks babyface Kerry performance. Kerry spammed variations on the discus punch in between a consistently dominant Perfect attack. This was really physical. When Perfect bumped for Kerry, he bumped for Kerry, but when he hit Kerry he hit Kerry. Every punch and every chop Perfect threw played directly into this camcorder lens 12 riser seats up. Perfect was an unrelenting attacker, smothering our sculpted god. Two different times in this match, Perfect flung himself over the top rope to the floor to continue an attack as quickly as possible. Our cameraman misses a huge Perfect bump to the floor that gets the gym jumping to their feet, but you can see his feet go over the top, and it looked no different than him flying out to the floor just to punch Kerry in the face. Blocking the discus punch was a legit surprise, and a heel out punching the babyface champion famous for his punches. That's a hero facing a real threat, and Perfect looked like a real threat, easily the most violent worker on the show. Kerry kicking out of the Perfect Plex would have shocked me live; Perfect flipping for a discus punch would have delighted me.  

7. Earthquake vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

MD: Earthquake had Hart with him and Jimmy even did the introduction for him. There was some fun house show goofing here too with Duggan catching Earthquake trying to cheapshot him a number of times. Quake was one of the best ever at knowing just how much to give and exactly when to give it. He was doing all of the Hogan poses too and it got big heat. He knew how to be a monster. He knew how to accentuate the things that made him larger than life. It's not quite the same as how Andre did it, because Andre had such a unique presence that he was accentuating being Andre. With Quake it was more about running a scientific experiment to prove beyond any matter of doubt that physics actually matter. Duggan got in a lot of shots and even got close once or twice (close being making him wobble or teasing a slam). Jimmy helped him take over eventually and he had some bear hugs that didn't look like the most amazing things in the world from the HH vantage but were naturally believable enough. Duggan was able to get hope spots through dodging and firing back but he was cut off. His comeback was pro wrestling perfection as Quake wobbled more and more, including this bit of remarkable fancy footwork to really get it across and build up the drama, before Duggan finally hit the three point stance. Hart intervened but eventually got squashed in the corner as Duggan moved and they sent the fans home happy with a quick roll up pin. We have the Summerslam Fever match between these two and some tags, but I think this was a pretty rare matchup overall and unsurprisingly, they matched up well together.

ER: Earthquake looks so massive here, in ways that we will never see in pro wrestling again. I don't think people realize just how much a big fat bearded guy fearlessly running ropes as fearlessly as God himself meant to our fandom. I don't know if I've committed to anything in my life as fearlessly as Earthquake commits to running ropes, and honestly it inspires me. I've been going on and on about how every wrestler on this roster is made to shine in a high school gymnasium but will you look at how perfect Earthquake and Jim Duggan look in high school gym of a town that had a Carl's Jr. but didn't get a McDonalds until 1991. Duggan's punches all looked like shit, and it didn't matter, because when it came time for Earthquake to tease out a Berzerkeresque spot where he legs keep splitting farther and farther apart with each subsequent Hacksaw clothesline, we were somehow witnessing Earthquake putting more faith into his adductor muscles than he puts into the ropes. I was so certain he was hitting the mat on that third clothesline, plopped down on his butt, and when he went full leg spread hunch forward it was like the greatest Andre spot that Andre never did. These men knew. Some kid went into their town's new-ish McDonalds that day and told them "Nick sent me," and later that night saw Earthquake vanquished by America. What a day. 

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What Happened to Berzerker? We Can't Look Away! The New Look is Mesmerizing...

23. Berzerker vs. Bob Smedley - Prime Time Wrestling 10/1/91

Smedley is Bobby Blaze, using a name that is more amusing, and decidedly less "1991" than Blaze. We were an American Gladiator loving people in 1991. Names like Blaze made sense and felt safe to us. He leans nicely into kicks and snaps back from them on the bump. This could have been a really fun competitive match just a few years later. This was not that.

24. Berzerker vs. Eric Freedom - Superstars 10/21/91

Freedom looks EXACTLY like Todd Pettengill, when Pettengill had a mullet. He also has bushy armpit hair. IMPORTANT: He is the smallest wrestler that Berzerker has faced thus far. He is similar in size to Scott Taylor, but I think Freedom is smaller. Freedom ain't free, though, and Berzerker stiffs him up. Freedom bumps like a maniac, looking and bumping similar to this era Sean Waltman. After getting whipped hard into the buckles and bumping great off it, Lord Alfred cackles about how he's probably paralyzed. He keeps laughing. He's laughing really hard, at his own comment that Eric Freedom is paralyzed. Berzeker mixes up his move order a little bit, dropping Freedom with the falling slam, immediately hitting the big legdrop, then following right up with the kneedrop. I dug the combo. Freedom takes a great rolling bump after getting tossed to the floor. Supposedly this guy still works, wouldn't mind seeing some of this 90s work.

25. Berzerker vs. Bret Hart - MSG 10/28/91

They had another match a year later that was really disappointing, really short, and maybe the least giving Bret Hart match of the 90s. Hart worked competitive matches with every single member of the roster so it was a bummer to see such a non-match against Berzerker. Thankfully I found this one from MSG, which was fleshed out and really good. It goes a bit differently than I expected, with Hart starting out going toe to toe and really throwing everything at Berzerker. Berzerker's three bumps to the floor all came consecutively, with Hart sending him to the floor with a dropkick, clothesline and then an atomic drop. Berzerker would bump over the top, then immediately rush back into the ring and get knocked over again. It was great. His 4th time rushing into the ring he just dives at Bret and catches him with a headbutt to the stomach. And from there we get the Berzerker control segment which I've really come to enjoy. He throws lots of clubbing forearms, big slams, big boots, a perfect piledriver, and he smartly gives Bret hope spots off of his own missed offense. 

He misses a big kneedrop that allows Bret to land a couple shots, and later he misses a weird and ambitious dropkick from the middle rope, while Bret Hart is lying down. He clearly wasn't going for a leg drop, it was like he wanted to dropkick Bret's face from the middle rope. When Bret does come back it's good, as we get a couple convincing roll ups, Berzerker doing his awesome splits bump off leg kicks so Bret can set up the Sharpshooter (it's a really fun bump, but this was easily the most logical use of it since it tied directly to the sharpshooter), plus a real logical escape from the sharpshooter that seemed like it never happened: Hart went to turn him, and Berzerker just punched him in the face from his back. I really liked the finish, with Berzerker going for a clothesline and Hart landing a snug crucifix for a flash pin, with Berzerker getting up and flipping out postmatch. This is probably the best overall Berzerker match we've seen, and likely the best we'll get. Bret knew how to keep things tight, so instead of the bloated-but-fun 16 minute Bulldog match we get a more snug and satisfying 11 minute version of that. Really good stuff.

26. Berzerker vs. Fred Morgan - November 1991

Oh, Fred Morgan, you're the worst. I cannot explain why I laughed so hard at the way Morgan bumped for the opening club to his back, just dropping to the mat in a belly flop; or, how hard I laughed at how he bumped the next chop, just rigidly dropping to his back and lying motionless. Morgan just seems clueless, with his egg shaped torso in red and blue singlet/tights. He runs nose and mouth into a big boot, and tumbles all the way into the entrance way after getting tossed to the floor, but the guy just looks like the biggest hump. He won't ever get a rematch.

27. Berzerker vs. Russ Greenberg - Wrestling Challenge 11/12/91

I wonder why Greenberg never got more of a shot with WWF. He worked tons of jobber matches in 1991, and had a nice physique. Nice physique and tan is typically enough to get you a shot in early 90s WWF. Here he has bubblegum colored trunks, and admirably goes for a different strategy against Berzerker: He charges him! He runs in trying to lock up! I mean, Berzerker just pump kicks him in the chest. But at least he tried something! Berzerker mixes things up here, swinging Greenberg around in a front headlock, hitting a chokeslam (that Greenberg doesn't get up for) and hitting his awesome missile shoulderblock (that he should use more, as it looks great when it hits AND when it misses). After flubbing the chokeslam I didn't expect much out of the toss to the floor, but Greenberg got launched. Good for him. Still, wonder why he never got a shot. IMPORTANT: Greenberg should have at MINIMUM been brought into 1998 WCW when Jericho kept using that as a nickname for Goldberg. Jericho promising to beat Greenberg at Fall Brawl, and then beating Russ Greenberg, would have been a pointlessly fun moment.

28. Berzerker vs. Tito Santana - Superstars 11/13/91

Strange match, as Tito takes probably 70% of it, and overpowers Berzerker on several occasions. That's not what I was expecting at all. The first couple minutes see them lock up a few times, with Santana backing up Berzerker each time. On the fourth lock up Santana rushes in and Berzerker just drops to his knees, headbutting Santana in the dick. Awesome spot. But weird that the 320 lb guy had to use his speed and smarts to get the duke on Tito Santana. Santana overpowering Berzerker kind of continues throughout the match, with Santana reversing a couple of Irish whips. It's weird. Berzerker doesn't bump like crazy for Santana, the way he has for other stars. Santana does run into a big boot nicely though. Fuji tries to cheat to win by hooking Tito's ankle with the cane, and it genuinely doesn't seem like Tito expects the spot. He's running the ropes and Fuji hooks him, and Santana trips so hard that it yanks the cane out of Fuji's hands. Berzerker gets DQ'd, Tito beats him with the cane, and this was just a weird, unsatisfying match. Neither guy really wanted to take control, Tito works better as comeback babyface.

29. Berzerker, Skinner, Hercules & Col. Mustafa vs. Jim Duggan, Tito Santana, Sgt. Slaughter & Texas Tornado - WWF Survivor Series 11/27/91

I hadn't seen this match in years, probably since I rented the tape from the video store, so I first turned to the foremost authority on WWF star ratings, Scott Keith. Not only did he describe 6 of the participants as "jobbers" (odd, since Berzerker had only lost one match at this point and Duggan was always protected), but also called Slaughter a traitor and Von Erich a "suicidal drug addict". That's some level 7 edgelord shit right there. He didn't like the match, guys. But let me be the first to say, that Scott Keith may not be correct. 

First, pre match we get a wonderful gift, of Berzerker really being the only person enforcing his gimmick on the building, and the other wrestlers. All the heels come out together, but all the faces get individual entrances, and they kept cutting back to wide shots of the ring during these entrances, and Berzerker was just Hussing around, stomping all around the ring, figure 8ing around his teammates and his opponents; Just stomping and hussing and everybody in the ring was completely ignoring it. It's like when a guy hits a HR to break a slump, and the whole dugout ignores him. It was amazing. Gorilla has a great line before the bell, "I have little doubt in my mind who's coming out on top in this match." Fair statement. Skinner slaps Santana hard to start, then bumps fast for him, really selling a shove and going down to a snap headlock takedown. It also makes me laugh hard seeing Skinner do leapfrog/dropdown spots, for whatever reason. Skinner cuts low on a missed back elbow, and then bails so Santana misses a big crossbody, really crash and burned. Berzerker tags in and ridiculously goes for some sort of double stomp/leg drop on Tito, that misses. Kerry comes in and throws some bad punches that Berzerker no sells, and then Berzerker misses a dropkick. Berzerker missing offense is so much damn fun. I even dig the Hercules/Duggan shoulderblock and stompy punch exchange. Iron Sheik was pretty toast at this point (he even tags in and goes straight to a chinlock, come on) but he threw a cool double chop to Duggan's throat that someone should steal. 

Berzerker's apron work is tremendous, just hiking the length of the apron, back and forth, wandering into the wrong corner, occupying himself by untying a turnbuckle pad while Sheik is eliminated. THINK OF HOW SMART THAT IS!! Herc and Skinner just stood 8 feet away not saving Sheik from elimination, Berzerker meanwhile became the only heel I've seen logically kayfabe occupy himself during a pinfall, that didn't involve selling an injury. Amazing spot that was completely missed. Berzerker is really pulling his kicks this match, which is odd. But now that turnbuckle pad comes into play as he runs Slaughter into it. Man that undoing the pad stuff was so amazing in its placement in the match. I'm never going to get over this. Brilliant. Killer run where Berzerker brings back the splits bump off a Slaughter leg kick, then takes two insanely fast bumps over the top to the floor, really awesome bumps. The first is Duggan clotheslining him over the top, and Berzerker lands on his feet, charges right back in, and eats an insanely high backdrop bump to the floor on the other side. Santana has a nice hot tag opposite Hercules, even hits a kind of superman punch for the pin. Skinner eats a pin off a Slaughter blind tag roll up, and Berzerker is the last heel. He immediately charges in but misses a dropkick. The bumps on this guy! That turnbuckle pad comes back AGAIN when Slaughter gets revenge on him for it. Slaughter whips him into Duggan's clothesline to end it, with Berzerker taking a huge bump off the 3 point lariat. For a total throwaway, this was a really fun match, with Berzerker clearly working harder than anyone in the match. Not a great match, but a great performance by him.

30. Berzerker vs. Kerry Von Erich - MSG 11/30/91

Weird short match with a botched finish (though not by either of the wrestlers). It only goes about 3 minutes, and is really good for those 3 minutes. Until the stupid finish I was thinking it had potential to be his best match so far, which is impressive with the Valentine and Hart matches. He hits a stiff boot on Kerry, gets clotheslined over the top and the backdropped over the other side, just like the Survivor Series match, then suckers KVE into a missed corner charge and yanks him to the floor. Berzerker gets his head bounced off the steps, and the a couple seconds later the bell rings. Fans boo, Vince has no clue what happened on commentary, the count out win is announced; but Berzerker was only on the floor 7 or 8 seconds, and the ref didn't even seem like he was counting. It felt like someone accidentally rang the bell and Finkel improvised. Really disappointing. (Match is around the 13 minute mark of the link)

31. Berzerker vs. Scott Baizo - Superstars 12/4/91

So this match tricked me, as the file had a 6 minute running time, but it turns out 4 minutes of that is interviews with Virgil, Repo Man and High Energy. So you come for the hilarious jobber name of Scott Baizo (I hope he at some point teamed up with another man, maybe a man working an Indian gimmick, named Chaw-Chee, and that their tag team name was Charles & Charge, and that 25 years later he became a shameless shit pile with the same asshole haircut he had when he was relevant, decades before) and you stay for the disgusting match finishing bump. Yes this is a Berzerker squash, with him hitting the flying shoulderblock, a nasty kneedrop to the chest, his big boots with opponent tied up in the ropes, and then the finish which is him throwing Baizo over the ropes to the floor, practically past the ringside mats. Gross fall. Berzerker pillages on.

32. Berzerker vs. Barbarian - December 1991

Before the match Berzerker throws a high kick at the black ring announcer I don't recognize, who goes scrambling out of the way, and I already love this. Two giant dudes beating each other while wearing fur loincloths and boots. This match. HAD. TO. HAPPEN. It's like a Manowar album shoot gone horribly, tragically wrong. This starts off great with Berzerker throwing an impossibly stiff thud of a chop and Barbarian hitting him in the throat. We get more of Berzerker's super fast rope running, his big flying shoulderblock, and awesome missed flying shoulderblock into the corner, a couple big boots from both men (Barbarian's landing right under the chin), Barbarian clearly showing Berzerker he wasn't going to gas out and could work just as fast, big clubbing arms, and two crazy looking dudes shouting at each other after a count out.

More Berzerker tomorrow!!

COMPLETE & ACCURATE BERZERKER!

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WWF 24/7 THOUGHTS - MEADOWLANDS 9/11/88

This was a shockingly good show with only Hogan v. Brown out right sucking, and a lot of stuff being actively good.

Jumping Jim Brunzell v. Mr. Perfect Curt Henning

PAS: This is really early in Henning's run, so he is working a competitive opening match with Jim Brunzell. Were these guys in the AWA in the same time? I ask because they work really well together, with Brunzell doing some nice simple leg work, and Henning getting in all of his crazy oversell bumps. This was early in Henning’s run so Brunzell takes 70% of the match, and Henning wins with a flash powerslam. Henning had really great punches, which is something I don't remember at all, he has a hook and an uppercut as well as a straight right and they all look great. He was just off a run working Lawler in the AWA and for at least a little while he had picked something up.

Don "The Rock" Muraco v. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine

PAS: This takes a while to get going, but it ends up being pretty fun. Muraco is avenging the crippling of Superstar Billy Graham (which means he really should be working Zahorian) who is doing color at ringside. It starts pretty slow for a blood feud, and Muraco doesn't really do a ton here. Valentine is awesome though, everything he does looks really nasty and tight, almost like Finlay without the bumps. Forearm shivers, elbows to the throat, clubs to the back of the neck. He just beats you down, there was a little too much mishigos with the shin guard, and after the WWF 80's set I never wanted to see another 20 minute draw, but I am getting really excited for Greg Valentine month in September.

Junkyard Dog v. Hercules

PAS: This wasn't as awful as it looks on paper. It was basically worked as a slugfest, with two big guys pounding on each other. Problem was that neither guy hit particular hard, especially after watching Valentine pound on someone. If they had laid it in a little more this actually would have been good.

Hulk Hogan v. Bad News Brown

PAS: During the 80's set I watched a ton of Hogan, some of it was good (Backlund, Bossman) some mediocre (Volkoff, MSG Savage) and some of it stunk (Wrestlemania Savage, Muraco). This was pretty stinky, neither guy could really bump at all and all of their offense looked like shit. Plus Hogan was carrying around that ridiculous helmet, which led to the cheap finish. Outside of his Timothy Flowers cage match I have been pretty disappointed with all the Bad News I have seen in the last couple of years. I need to get his hard head feud with Fujiwara or something, as my youthful illusions are being crushed.

Barry Horowitz v. Blue Blazer

PAS: These guys had a really fun match on the 80’s set, this wasn’t as good as that, but still was really fun. Horowitz looked really great here as he has a ton of fun offense, I especially liked his superkick. Watching this match, you get the sense Horowitz would have been a really great New Japan junior gaijin in the early 90’s as this was a really NJ Juniors style match. Blazers superfly splash finish looked kind of crappy, but otherwise this was solid.

Ted DiBiase v. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

PAS: Man alive was this a blast. I thought this could go both ways, these guys have worked each other a ton, but both kind of dogged it in the WWF. This could have easily been a main event a big Mid-South Superdome show. This was worked like a sprint Watts main event. Lots of great punch exchanges by both guys and they were both bumping around the ring. Great timing on everything. Really just paced at a million miles an hour. I can’t wait to see their matches up on the Watts 80’s set.

Hart Foundation v. Rougeau Brothers

PAS: I liked this a lot too, I actually think the Harts work better as faces then heels. Bret is a pretty decent face in peril and Neidhart is a really fun hot tag. The opening had the Harts just destroy the Rougeau’s, it was a fun one sided beating with Raymond starting a stillborn “Let’s go Jaques” chant. You had the Rougeau’s take over, and they have a bunch of fun heel stuff. Bret breaks out his great piledriver which he never wins with.

Jake Roberts v. Rick Rude

PAS: This is during the Cheryl Roberts feud and she is at ringside. She really doesn’t have the meth teeth one might imagine a Jake Roberts wife would have. This was good, Roberts isn’t as good as a face as he is as a heel, but Rude is amazing. He smashes away on Jake’s shoulder, including two great top rope fistdrops on the shoulder. He also does his awesome eat of a backdrop on his tailbone. Out of all the dead folks on this show, I have no idea how Roberts is still breathing, I bet no one would have bet on that horse.

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