WrestleMania 37 Night Two 4/11/21

Pretty hard shoes to fill after last night's show, and this lineup does a lot less for me on paper. Still, I'm excited for Asuka/Ripley and a couple others, but there is always the huge Fiend landmine bobbing around...and these waters also have a Hulk Hogan pirate promo which sounds like him hosting a shitty regional children's show. The Hogan calls the crowd scalawags and they go into this kind of gross routine of Titus playfully scolding Hogan for using bad words and Hogan doing a "Don't make me walk the plank!" bad wittle boy routine. So this is starting terribly. 

Randy Orton vs. The Fiend

ER: Oh man they're leading with Fiend. Has Orton always had full skull sleeves? I think I might have liked that Fiend entrance if I knew it wasn't leading to a Fiend match. It's probably much better for the crowd to get iced out in the first match, because then they can always get their energy back. Putting this on towards the end risks killing everybody's reaction and everyone wrestling in silence. This whole thing was really bad, but it went mercifully quick at least? They walk around slowly for awhile, and Fiend is moving slow enough that I'm not sure if that's part of his character or if Wyatt has two wooden legs. He was walking weird up on his jack in the box and he just moves so damn slow in the ring. The rope hang DDTs don't look great, the crowd chanting Holy Shit at Alexa Bliss's headgear leaking oil made me laugh, and I was happy to have this out of the way. 

Tamina/Natalya vs. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax

ER: I'm weirdly excited for this one. The Baszler/Jax team was a slow starter but they've finally been jelling as a team the last month or so. Tamina has more momentum than she's ever had with a great short hoss fight with Nia a couple days prior, and Tamina also finally has a proper wrestling look. They had a great interaction in the Royal Rumble too, let's see what they do on the grandest stage! The early Tamina/Nia exchanges were good, thought the headbutt battle looked good and the off balance striking was a nice look. This got really good when Baszler and Nia were cutting Natalya off from Tamina. Baszler looks like she breaks Natalya's jaw with a knee lift, and Natalya's selling was really strong during the control segment, yelling and actually garnering sympathy while Shayna worked over her knee in painful ways. But Tamina is a beat late on a save and then whiffs the hot tag, Natalya makes dumb faces while waiting too long to catch a Tamina crossbody, and the match drifts on a little too long. It built nicely and kind of overshot the mark, but I also like that they were treating the title shot like a big deal. Tamina is still a little rigid in spots, but the energy is there and she actually does feel fresh out of nowhere. It's amazing what a new look will do to someone. Nia did a great job feeding and selling for her, Shayna came off punishing, and the match overall was perfectly fine. 

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens

ER: Zayn has been really entertaining in ring the last several months, but this is a pairing we've seen a lot now. Not sure what they're going to have to do to make this iteration of the match interesting. And this match really didn't work for me. It felt like a condensed version of them at PWG, nothing but corner suplexes, apron brainbuster, drivers, more suplexes, moves dropped onto knees, all 2006 indy offense and no heart. This felt so cold and mechanical, just some big spots with no juice. Sami throwing short body blow punches in the corner made me hopeful it was taking a little left turn into something different, but we came back pretty quick. Sami has been working like a deranged Buck Robley the last year, and this was he and Owens going back and sleepwalking their way through one of their old singles. Logan Paul involvement was a total nothing, dude looked bored out their the entire time (although, to be fair to Paul, sure). He takes a great stunner, so I guess that's something. 

Sheamus vs. Matt Riddle

ER: So Matt Riddle has become a pretty unbearable personality huh? Sheamus has been awesome since coming back last summer, and I think he's been the most consisted in ring guy of 2021. Riddle's stock has never been lower. But if they beat the hell out of each other it wouldn't take much for this to be really good. And they DO beat the hell out of each other, but I thought they went too far into Riddle just kicking out of everything. The match had a lot of stiff strikes and big spots, but it felt a little uninspired and perfunctory. I'm always going to flip for spots like Riddle flipping over the ropes into a KO knee lift, but after the close Riddle kickouts down the stretch you could hear the crowd not into it, not buying what they were going for. I appreciate them going for a couple of big top that spots, actually thought Riddle was going to hit some crazy Candido style top rope powerbomb, but it's a shame Sheamus slipped off the ropes for what was surely the match finishing top rope White Noise. If that top rope kneedrop was an improv, it's a cool thing to throw into a match. I'm glad Sheamus got the title off Riddle, the guy deserves to have some belt, and I kind of think Riddle needs a retooling and some time away. 

Apollo Crews vs. Big E

ER: I'm already not into the Saba Simba-ing of Crews, but I cannot believe they actually have an entire Fela Kuti percussion section's instruments at ringside. Like what are we doing here? There are at least 9 conga drums at ringside, and not a single one of them get used in any way during this Nigerian Drum Match. It's just cane shots everyone. The stip really weakened the usual strong Big E singles match layout, and it took Crews taking a couple of Jeff Hardy level bumps to really make this pick up. Crews takes a uranage from the apron to the ring steps and misses a great frog splash through a table. But this all felt more underwhelming than it should have felt, like a Smackdown match with a hastily thought out gimmick that's not as good as the match they had on Smackdown already. Babatunde's debut would have been way better if they leaned further into having him be Giant Idi Amin (since it appears they're just treating African as its one large nebulous country). Babatunde's jacket didn't fit and his gear came off more Marching Band Leader than Ruthless Dictator. Still excited for Big E/Babatunde. 

Rhea Ripley vs. Asuka

ER: This match has an uphill battle trying to find the right tone, as nobody is going to root against Asuka, but Ripley isn't exactly a heel and even gets her full entrance song performed live by a woman who sounded like she couldn't hear where the 1 and 3 were coming in. So the fans don't really know how to react to Ripley while they cheer Asuka. This didn't really feel like the big Rhea match they wanted it to. be, and it wasn't the match I wanted it to be either. It wasn't bad, but Rhea's personality came off a little lethargic, and maybe she was having a tough time being the default heel in a Defining Babyface Moment. Tough spot to make work. Asuka looked great, and I loved that Ripley kick she caught and turned into sick heel hook, but again it came off more like a cool babyface catching a heel, and that's not what the finish wanted. Ripley's bump off the apron the Asuka's DDT was awesome, looked dangerous, but I wasn't into the finish. I don't think the moment was there, and I think Ripley losing wouldn't have been bad. Her challenge build felt rushed anyway and it wouldn't be difficult to build her more effectively into a rematch.  This didn't feel like it built well enough to its result. 

Daniel Bryan vs. Edge vs. Roman Reigns

ER: Edge is a somewhat compelling work around to have in a match in 2021, a real test for Bryan and Reigns, a difficult component of wrestling Dogme 95. "Work Edge into your heated feud as a third" is tougher than an all location shooting obstruction. And sadly, this match ain't it. Last night was a real upbeat, brisk show with a high floor. Night Two has been dragging a lot more and it's not because of "too much wrestling". The match pacing is different on Night Two and really only the women's tag match felt like it was worked with the right vibe. And now, I think we have to start talking about how Maybe There is a Problem With the Main Event Big Dog. Reigns newer Head of the Table work is starting to seem outright boring, and I don't think any of his slow paced show closers have landed with me. He's a guy who has been wrestling mostly on PPV, meaning his wrestling these days can only be judged on these over long slow main events. I actually think Edge was holding up his end of whatever this was, as if I am going to sit through an Edge match in 2021 the least he can do is make the stupidest faces of his stupid faced career, and absolutely stick Bryan with the spear. Check. Daniel Bryan was expectedly the glue to this one, and he did a really good job at it. He was better at integrating Edge and Reigns into things, and his sequences were the matches' high points. But it's a Bryan match wasted on something like this, which wasn't memorable and felt a level below for everyone involved. And that's kind of the story of Night Two, is that almost everything on the show - outside of the women's tag maybe - felt a level below everyone involved. 

This was not an insultingly bad night of wrestling, but this was a kind of boring night of wrestling. I don't think it had to be this boring, and while I was expecting it to be not good, I wasn't expecting boring. This one fell flat with me, and only a good-not-great women's tag saved this from being mostly a snooze. 

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WrestleMania 37 Night One 4/10/21

I couldn't watch the promos guys, couldn't do it. Not with the frequent audio glitches. This is going to be too much wrestling over a couple of days, and I gotta preserve myself as much as humanly possible, gotta save my wind a little. It's bad enough that I came back into it during a dreadful Hogan/Titus segment that nobody trustworthy could have possibly wanted. 

Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley

ER: I'm into the idea of a big heavyweight title match starting off the show, especially two heavyweights who actually work like heavyweights. And I thought this was a banger. They lost the crowd a little bit after Drew's kimura, but this felt like a big scale heavyweight match. They worked tentatively for the first bit (possibly working around a damp ringside area), but it picked up when Drew started throwing suplexes. McIntyre's throws all looked strong, didn't look like Lashley was leaping into them. Several belly to bellys, and a a great northern lights, and a big Saito suplex from Lashley. But the best part of the suplexes was that in between them they just hit each other with fists and elbows, there was never any laying around for suplexes. The three straight future shock DDTs Lashley took were real nasty, tucked head and not rolling through them. I thought both submissions came off well, with Drew really looking like he could have gotten the tap with his kimura. Again, they lost the crowd a bit after the kimura, and the MVP interference could have come off more smooth. I actually really like that they didn't do a Big Moment Title Change to lead off the show, because you know they love that. 

Women's Tag Gauntlet

ER: I am personally ecstatic that they got Lana out of the way fairly quick, as I thought there was a non-zero chance we'd get a "Could Lana DO THIS!?" story throughout this whole thing and I didn't want it. Billie Kay is still not there in ring, but I have gotten a real kick out of her the last few months so I'm just happy she's on the show. I really want this big win for the Riott Squad though. This would be a great time to get Riott back up ladder and finally give Liv something substantial. They've been waiting long enough for some elevation, and deserve it. My girl Mandy Rose slipped on her butt and is such a collected badass that she knew she had to get right in the ring and knee Riott in the side of the head to move past it. Rose works stiff during every part of her match, and they isolate Liv Morgan which leads to some nice stuff (Liv really stuffed Mandy running into her boot in the corner). Riott's hot tag felt a bit off, wasn't quite as hot as I wanted, and the blown win call didn't help and otherwise good Morgan small package. Now, the thing I didn't ever expect, is me actually happy that Tamina is motivated and getting instantly rewarded. I would rather watch practically anyone other than Natalya get a more featured role (we've had to get through so many Natalya's Dream moments), but Tamina finally has actually proper gear and and actual proper pro wrestler look a decade in, and she looks motivated. Her Nia Jax match on Smackdown was a great fight, and her superkick in this match was an awesome cut off spot. That Superfly Splash hit with real heft, so I'm all in on seeing her and Nia go at it again so soon after their singles match. Natalya is about the worst baggage a person can bring into a situation, and I wanted this to be Riott Squad's moment, but I'm unexpectedly rooting for Tamina right now and that's cool. 

Seth Rollins vs. Cesaro

ER: The Cesaro hit piece is really funny, the best thing Rollins has been involved with since who knows when, and I'm excited for Cesaro's first WrestleMania singles match. I still think Rollins can work like a real putz in ring, and you know you're going to get some floaty looking sling blades and dumb serious indy era spots like a superplex > falcon arrow. That stuff sucks, but he's a fun guy to hit hard. Cesaro hits so many uppercuts that it leads to an arm injury (hitting the turnbuckle when Rollins moves), and so you get Cesaro working stiff uppercuts with a hurt arm, and they build a huge portion of the match around Rollins not wanting to take the giant swing. I always love a match that's built around one guy not wanting the humiliation of being hit with a specific move, almost more than he's trying to avoid being beat, so that gives this whole thing a high floor. The fans clearly want a big Cesaro win, and it is great to gear a crowd react excitedly to these guys who have been working in a vacuum for over a year. A few of them will probably die, but this would be a pretty cool Cesaro win to see in your final months. Again, you build a match in 2021 around somebody trying to avoid a bearhug or giant swing or a stomach claw, and Cesaro hitting this triumphant no hands airplane spin looked like Superman throwing General Zod into a skyscraper. I don't think we could have expected a better Big WrestleMania Match from Cesaro, and I'm happy for the guy. 

Kofi Kingston/Xavier Woods vs. AJ Styles/Omos

ER: I have been so excited for the debut of Omos. There are few things I love more in wrestling than a debuting giant who hardly any people have seen wrestle. His gear isn't as cool as it should have been. I think him wrestling as 7' tall Mr. Hughes would be my favorite wrestling look of the year. His black sleeveless button down looks to Giant Chippendale. World's Tallest Stripper having to duck under hanging lights isn't as cool as 7' tall Mr. Hughes. Gear disappointment aside, I seriously loved this debut for Omos. Woods and Kingston have been having a good year, adding to shows more often than not, and they played a tough role here really well. It's a tough role to be a super popular babyface tag team, while also keeping a crowd excited to see them get tossed around by a giant debuting heel. They have to be a babyface team who is more focused on making a huge heel have a memorable in screen debut, than getting sympathy for themselves. Everybody had a tough role in this match, and everyone crushed it. AJ had to bump around getting his ass kicked so New Day can get at least some big offense before getting their limbs torn off by Omos. Styles built really well to the big Omos entrance, and Woods showed the right amount of fear and awe. Omos worked like a great classic giant, and nothing would make me happier than a 7'3" giant who has never seen any wrestling past 1991. Omos had big overhand chops, a powerful running hip attack, and his high slam backbreakers looked like a proper 1985 finisher. He added a brutal full face claw to Woods while holding a backbreaker, and this made me even more excited about Omos' potential. Styles got this awesome kamikaze flying elbow, vaulting off Omos' shoulders, and I love that they didn't have New Day get anything on him. I want a dominant giant pushed to the top and this is now my favorite wrestling. This kind of debut is the kind of thing that needs to happen in front of a live crowd, potential superstar debut. I am An Omos Guy. 

PAS: Considering how badly the WWE has fucked up giants since Andre, it was pretty cool to see them hit every beat here damn near perfectly. Kind of strange to work the match around heel in peril, but it really worked. AJ is great at being a pinball, and has really developed a scumbag youth pastor vibe which makes you want to see him beaten up. I loved the smirk on his face when he realized he had gotten enough distance to tag in Omos, and Omos came in and wrecked shop. He didn't show off his ability to do a cartwheel or some shit, he just ran through the New Day, killing them with backbreakers and a killer spinebuster throw. I really think if they keep doing this, it will be a huge deal the first time he takes a bump, and totally make a star if someone is able to beat him.

Shane McMahon vs. Braun Strowman

ER: This is my least anticipated match of Night One, but it still has a chance at being a real spectacle. Both guys get purple real easily and that adds to the freakshow element of wrestling that WWE needs to bring back. This show has some real quality vibes. The real danger to a match like is the length, and they hit the runtime mark well. This could have been way overblown, but it was exactly what it should have been. Shane looks a step away from a heart attack immediately, takes several bumps he shouldn't be taking including getting launched into a swan dive off the top of the very tall cage. Elias and Jaxson Ryker have been a really underrated duo. I don't think Ryker sounds like the kind of human I'd want to hang out with, but he is a very good worker with some of the strongest basics on the roster. They added to the match with a couple of big bumps off the cage side. Braun ripping a cage panel off it's clasps was the kind of spot that would play as an all time great moment on a show closing video set to the WrestleMania theme, so that means it's a great spot. This could have been a 20 minute drag, and instead they kept it tight, with the right amount of bullshit. 

Damien Priest/Bad Bunny vs. The Miz/John Morrison 

ER: This show has a debuting giant and a debuting pop star. This is really a night of wrestling booked directly at me. I get excited every time any celebrity actually wrestles. It's great. I love seeing the ones that really get it, love seeing pro wrestlers show off their chops by integrating a non-wrestler into a match, and Bad Bunny is a genuinely big modern star. I don't get how anyone couldn't be excited seeing a big star show how well he can wrestle at the biggest wrestling show of the year. That's exciting!! How great would it be to see Taylor Swift against Carmella and see Swift hit a decent la magistral? Miz is a good opponent for Bad Bunny, and I loved seeing Bunny pull off semi-complicated armdrags that he couldn't quite pull off, and the way his bumps looked slightly more dangerous than they should have been. I love slightly untrained bumps. They feel way more like me missing a step and falling on my butt. Bunny's offense keeps getting better the longer he's in the ring, and his multi-rotation headscissors is better than 80% of that same spot I've ever seen in Chikara. He throws a great goddamn headbutt and sells it with an eyes-crossed wobble, his sunset flip is very good, and he throws genuinely good punches from a far enough distance that's harder to make look good. He went with an ambitious worked punch style and he does it shockingly well. Bunny's selling is strong, watch how well he sells a great Miz low left hand to the spleen. By the time Bunny was hitting a falcon arrow, I was convinced this man has to have a backyarder video from 2007 on YouTube. Priest's hot tag plays a decent enough 2nd fiddle to Bad Bunny, and Bad Bunny hitting a Puerto Rican Destroyer on the floor and two fantastic crossbodies (one his now trademark plancha) is fucking GREAT pro wrestling. Miz was excellent and fed into every single Bunny spot perfectly. This was his best in ring performance since his match with Shane at WrestleMania 35. I love celebrity pro wrestling matches, and this belongs with the good ones. 

Bianca Belair vs. Sasha Banks

ER: This show has been excellent so far, and this is the match I am most excited to see. It has some pretty big shoes to fill, as this show really has been a top to bottom fun watch. This knocking it out could put this into easy Show of the Year status. Not sure how to feel about Sasha's look, but my instinct is she's going Strange Days club scene so I want to say I'm for it? The build for this match has felt really off, but the early parts of this really felt like the popular slugger who slumps the last month of the season but then rakes in the playoffs. I was always going to be excited for the in ring of this match, but the build left a lot to be desired. But they work this great and Sasha more than almost anyone feels like someone who knows how to turn it up on the big important shows. She deserves the Jeter rep. Bianca's chicken wing slams looked appropriately nasty, and she has a couple of big powerbombs too. Sasha kept getting her knees into Bianca's rib, grabbing Bianca by the braid and kicking her a bunch in the ribs and shoulder, getting her knees up on a great 450, Sasha really just excels in big main event singles matches. She really comes off like a great modern take on the reckless 90s AJW babyface. I love the way she throws her self hardest into her own misses, like jamming her knees into the barricade or into the bottom buckle. The home stretch to this was really good, with Sasha finding several ways to use Bianca's braid against her in the match finally paying off with the return of Belair's hair whip offense. For some reason the wrestler with the among the top 5 hairdos in wrestling history came in with her hair as her gimmick, and now they've spent the last couple years pretending she doesn't have this amazing head turning hair. So we finally go back to a great heel who keeps yanking on it while kicking Bianca in the face, and it pays off with one a hair whip to Sasha's stomach that is louder than anything on the show. Banks had a huge welt from it, legendary spot. This was an perfect way to close out a great night of wrestling. 

PAS: Really excellent match, in the top tier of Wrestlemania main events and something which felt legitimately meaningful and emotional. So much of WWE emotion feels forced and spoon fed, but the moment at the beginning of the match where Sasha and Bianca took a moment to absorb that they were two black women main eventing Wrestlemania actually got me in my feelings a bit. It is a lot of pressure to trailblaze, and they both delivered. I am a huge fan of strength based highspots, and Bianca had some corkers here. The roll through of the plancha into a press slam, where she walks her up the steps was a spot of the year contender, and I liked her repeater powerbombs a bunch too. That is a spot which can feel cooperative, but Bianca hoisted her with ease. I dug how down and dirty Sasha got, basically turning this match into a impromptu bullrope or chain match with Bianca's braid, super creative and nasty. I bet Bianca's scalp was burning after this match. All of that cheapshot work was paid off with that huge hair whip shot near the end. I don't watch the WWE regularly at all, but if they downplayed Bianca's hair whip on the main roster, it was worth it for the impact of that one shot. My one complaint was the overuse of WWE face near the end of the match, but I guess that is just the style now. Otherwise this hit every beat. Tremendous achievement by both wrestlers. 

This show was a total knockout, nothing worth skipping on this show. It had some real high points with the great debut of Omos, the great debut of Bad Bunny, and a tremendous main event, and the low points were non-existent. Great show top to bottom, with everybody wanting to bring it in the ring. The Omos debut is going on our Ongoing 2021 MOTY List, and Sasha/Bianca is our new #1. A great night of wrestling. 

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WWE Money in the Bank Mother's Day Live Blog

I visited my mother yesterday (my parents are hell on a 6' space, my calves are burning from all the backpedaling I kept having to do) and gave her a cool gift, so that excuses me to watch wrestling of potentially questionable quality on her special day. Let's hope for something good out of this show so that I can at least justify my not calling her to hear repeated stories about dumb things my father has done during quarantine.


Jeff Hardy vs. Cesaro

ER: So Hardy misses an entire year with an injury, they bring him back to Smackdown two months ago, spent the interim showing weekly documentaries about his rehabilitation (which hardly anyone gets, let alone several weeks of them), and then put him on the pre-show? I know that card placement matters less in no crowd era, but it's still really odd. It doesn't really matter to me, as the pre-show are almost always good, and they're worked in a way that makes them feel like good Velocity or 09-10 Superstars matches. They almost always hit the match length sweet spot and the layouts always feel so much less produced than main show matches. That feels like it shouldn't be the case, but there's too much of a sample size at this point. And this was really good! This was a much better singles match than I expected Hardy to physically be able of delivering at this point, but the longest straight time off of his career seems to have really done him good. He's moving quicker and more fluidly than he has in the past many years, but he's still taking the same level of awkward painful bumps so I'll just enjoy this while it lasts. He works quick enough here to convincingly fluster Cesaro, but you knew the best moments of this would revolve around what Cesaro does once he catches him. Cesaro catches him leaping off the ring steps and splats him ribs first over the barricade, later shoves him hard hip first into the ring apron. Hardy always seems to take damage on the least padded parts of the human body. Hardy's hard landings here were really entertaining, loved how Cesaro played off him (his big Fuerza bump over Hardy on the ropes was awesome), really liked all of this.

Big E/Kofi Kingston vs. Gran Metalik/Lince Dorado vs. The Miz/John Morrison vs. Wesley Blake/Steve Cutler

ER: This was good, but it feels like I've been seeing this exact match every week for the past several weeks. When they were running this on TV I just assumed the PPV version would have some extra gimmick or stipulation, but it was just longer. Still it was good overall, not always the tightest multiman, not always the pairings I wanted to see, but good. I really like Forgotten Sons, and I realize I'm in the minority on that. Gimmicks aren't the thing that sells me on a worker, ring work is the main thing I care about, and their ring work is more interesting than most teams in WWE. Their double teams are rock solid, neither skimp on small things (Cutler has far better stomps and kicks to the stomach than anyone else in the match), but also add in big bumps (Blake is always good for at least one big bump to the floor per match). Also, big fan of their double team hiptoss to an opponent draped over the ropes, and they're good at coming up with logical spots like that. I'm completely tired by the Miz/Morrison team at this point, and New Day isn't far behind them on people I wish were featured less. But it's cool seeing them work with the Sons and LHP. Dorado and Morrison pulled off a cool dragon rana, Metalik looked awesome with his while hair flowing around his mask (while working too fast for Kofi who looked like a stumblebum side by side), we got a big Morrison Spanish fly to the floor (while far more people than necessary awkardly stood around like goobs), and this was plenty good.

R-Truth vs. Bobby Lashley

ER: This match was nothing anyway, throwaway match as part of a feud I could not care about, so it's not much of a crime that I was distracted throughout this. Because once I noticed that the announcers ONLY refer to Bobby Lashley as "Bobby Lashley", it was all I could concentrate on. This is a promotion that has been weirdly obsessed with changing someone's name to a single word name, and yet we can't go through ANY part of the match with hearing "Lashley with the slam" or "Lashley with the pin", it ALWAYS has to be "Bobby Lashley with the pin!" Bobby Lashley, Bobby Lashley, Bobby Lashley. They could not stop saying this man's full fucking Christian name for 5 seconds. Nobody else gets this treatment. They either lose one of their names entirely, getting called - very normally - by ONLY their last name in a match because we know who this person is at this point, or have some kind of nickname that you can alternate with (Roman with the slam! The Big Dog with the spear!). But they can only and ever call this one person by their full name. Whose direction is this, any why? This can not be an accident and now we all have ONE MORE reason to hate Bobby Lashley segments.

Bayley vs. Tamina

ER: You have seen me write about this before, and as long as they keep doing it every year I will continue writing about it, but I cannot stand the 2-4 month period of every one of the last 10 years that WWE insists on telling us that Tamina matters and we need to be serious about Tamina and here's your yearly Tamina PPV match challenging for a title before we realize "well she's still Tamina so we didn't learn". There were people like Ruby Riott, Liv Morgan, and Sarah Logan, the former who was returning from a long injury, the latter two who have been quietly overdelivering on syndicated TV matches and house shows for years...but we're going for our 10th go round on Tamina, so you gals will have to back up a bit. You can tell she's really trying, but every year it's the same bad gear and the same way of cumbersomely getting into position for opponent offense. However, this was a real class Bayley performance, as her working aggressively and outpacing the larger Tamina made the match much more interesting than it should have been, and made Tamina's monster moments feel bigger because it's not just her badly dominating a match, it's her using a couple things in spurts. Bayley outsmarts her and it makes Bayley getting the tables turned into some interesting stuff. Bayley bumps big for her when she does eventually go on the rampage, including a big flying bump over the announce table. Tamina still comes off klutzy throughout, but the layout is really smart and she at least does her best within the layout. She does a clumsy missed superkick, but the spot is Bayley catching it and turning it into a kneebar, so her clumsy kick wasn't the important thing in the spot. The match felt carefully constructed to be about spots where her clumsiness was out of the way quickly because it set up something better from Bayley. Bayley's high cradle finish looked great, a legit pin that looked like anyone on the roster would have had a hard time kicking out of, and it went just the right amount of time. Post match is even good, with Tamina immediately picking up Bayley for a samoan drop after losing, but Sasha drops her with a great chop block and then throws a stiff kick to her chest in high heel boots. I'm calling this an easy best case scenario for a Tamina singles match, could not imagine a better version of this particular match.

Braun Strowman vs. Bray Wyatt

ER: I'm happy this was kept short, I just can't get into Bray Wyatt. I actually liked the Fire Fly match, but it's not enough to buy him any kind of goodwill. Still, this was kept short and that's good. Strowman took a few really cool big man bumps (great missed charge into and over the announce table, real sturdy shoulderblock getting thrown into the ring steps), and then got in the ring and got hugged for a long time so I could look at Twitter for a bit. Then Strowman finished him, and I like that.  But honestly this had the same amount of time to do something as Bayley/Tamina had, and this came nowhere close to accomplishing what they did.

Drew McIntyre vs. Seth Rollins

ER: Didn't feel like this one, but I'm sure Rollins talked about his destiny several times and had a Seth Rollins match, which I'm sure are for somebody. I feel bad for McIntyre that this is how his title reign is going, but I wish him the best. I saw the finish of Seth Rolling hitting a superkick by being bounced into the ropes by a nice headbutt, and the superkick causing McIntyre to bounce into the ropes and hit the Claymore kick. Claymore kick looked good, but guys hitting moves because they got hit by moves is the dumbest most played out shit at this point.

Money in the Bank

ER: Oh my god they're doing the Money in the Bank matches CONCURRENTLY!? This has potential to be a tremendous trainwreck, one of those ideas like World War 3 that you can't focus on anything. But World War 3 could have had great potential as a recorded match, as the worst thing about it was knowing there was probably something cool happening somewhere in those 3 rings, and you were likely missing it. Filming one of those and showing the finished product with the best moments chosen from the camera angles would have been a way more successful version of that match. The whole thing has this fake Michael Kamen score that makes it feel like a bunch of backyarders made a movie combining Die Hard and Rat Race. The comedy doesn't work anywhere near as consistently as in Rat Race, but there were tons of great moments and a fantastic lead performance from Otis. The cameo jokes were almost all poorly written (Stephanie plays comedy too smarmy and broad, Brother Love stuff felt forced and pointless, Johnny Ace at least at a pie to the face well), but I smiled a lot and laughed a few times. Otis is the guy who really went for it, and really it shouldn't be much of a surprise that he thrived here. He's someone who can do Looney Tunes spot well, and was constantly saying funny stuff like in the weight room before the match started where he was just saying "sets and reps, sets and reps". It was funny hearing Carmella's sneakers breaking silence with different sounds, milking a squeaky waxed lobby floor for laughs and then doing the same by doing an overly long moonwalk on office carpet. Otis absolutely plastered Heyman with a dish in catering, and Heyman mugged while covered in sticky rice. Otis and Nia smash Rey between their bodies, Dana Brooke slips on a wet floor and is never seen again, Shayna weirdly feels like the least featured person in the match, and things get decidedly less fun once they get out on the roof. The roof stuff was fairly uninspired, other than two casual murders that never get mentioned again. I'm happy with the two winners, as I wouldn't have had money on Asuka or Otis, but think that those two have been two of the best performers of the silent era. I like when matches seem to reward performance.


This show went by quickly (though there was some small help from the fast forward during the Rollins match) and had no high end matches, but had some nice performances, some over-deliveries, slightly better than expected overall.

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NXT Episode 222 5/22/14 Review

1. Bo Dallas vs. Big E

Good match, continuing the run of Bo Dallas being a completely different presence on NXT compared to any point of his main roster stint. I really like the way he falls, love how he gets into position for his opponents. Here he takes a huge shoulder block by stumbling backwards into the bottom rope, and later stumbles around great after Big E shrugs off his rope run bulldog attempt. I liked his comebacks, especially his sick chop block on the floor and his fast low crossbody. This was also helped by me not knowing which way the match was going to turn, as they had the stip of Dallas leaving NXT forever if he lost. Bo's desperation shone through during the match, which was important, and even though the finish fell a little flat (Bo undoing a turnbuckle pad before obviously getting felled by the turnbuckle) this was a good match.

2. Tamina vs. Paige

Oh cool my least favorite Diva, Tamina! Why even have this match in the middle of the NXT Women's tournament? Let Paige move on and leave rubbish like Tamina on the main roster. Focus on the new ladies. And man did Tamina ever look like warm dogshit. I didn't think it was possible for someone to be on the main roster as long as she has and not improve a lick, but the proof is there every time she wrestles. Paige did what she could, including an impressive bump off the top to the floor. Tamina is just as uninteresting as they come. The ending is a total embarrassment as Tamina is supposed to miss a big splash onto Paige's knees, buts ends up landing on her feet in a way that doesn't even look like she touched knees, let alone looked like she was attempting any sort of offense. Ask yourself, what would you have done if Paige hadn't moved her knees up? You would have landed on your feet, next to her. Good plan. Is the company this loyal to Jimmy Snuka of all people?

3. Camacho vs. Adam Rose

Cool, another dud Adam Rose match! How did anybody think this guy had what it takes? I like his spinebuster and his bronco buster looks good, but his character is a dud and doesn't fit his lousy ring style. Sometimes Rose takes a nice bump, in that "I'm untrained" kind of way, like when Camacho shoves him off and he flies onto his tailbone, but man is he the pits. Match itself stunk too, as Camacho just got "overwhelmed" by the awesome offense of Rose, then just rolled to the floor and stood there while the ref slowwwwwwly counted him out. I mean shit, ref, you know what the finish is, maybe speed up the count just a bit so we don't get both guys standing there like total goobs?

4. Sasha Banks vs. Natalya

Fun, if inconsequential match. I do like that Sasha appears to be all talk and someone who usually gets her words fed back to her at this point. It fits her attitude and skillset, but it's not a role someone is often put into without it being pointed out constantly by commentary. Natalya threw some stiff dropkicks including an especially nice one to a seated Sasha (right after running up her from behind and stomping her head into the mat). I expected this to be worked like there were more consequences. This was for a chance at the vacant title! But it was worked like a middle of the hour Velocity match that had been allotted 4 minutes. This could have been on a house show, with nothing at stake, or it could have been taped months in advance. Other than somebody winning and somebody losing, nothing important happened. It felt like a 4 minute vacuum match from them. And this should have been a really important match, especially for Sasha. Natalya has been on the main card for years at this point, but Sasha? This was her chance at the vacant Women's title on an NXT special show. You'd think she would cheat, claw, scratch, and fight for this opportunity at the belt. But instead we just did some stuff until Natalya effortlessly locked on the sharpshooter when it was time to go home.

Damn next week's Takeover looks like a really boring show. Neville vs. Kidd? Adam Rose vs. Camacho? Ehhhhh. Maybe some matches will over-perform and it won't be so bad. But I'm not excited on paper for any match on the card, so that's not a great sign going into the show.

5. Curt Hawkins vs. Adrian Neville

Hawkins weirdly showed up in the terrible battle royal last week, the only guy in it who wasn't a regular, and got eliminated early. So this week he gets a main event against the champ! I guess Neville needed a big win against a guy who people had forgotten about? I had forgotten about Curt Hawkins. I did a word search on this very site for "Curt Hawkins" and found 3 different things I have written about Curt Hawkins. One of them was in a lucha report, where for some reason I talked about Curt Hawkins when talking about who would and wouldn't make a good lucha base. But in that blurb I said "...and I like Curt Hawkins!" This was written about 5 years ago. I have zero memory of anything Curt Hawkins has ever done. But 5 years ago I "liked" Curt Hawkins. He was a guy I liked! Who the hell was 30 year old me?? What did he like about Curt Hawkins??? This match was a bunch of nothing crammed into 90 seconds, with Neville sorta kinda hitting but mostly missing the Red Arrow.

Tyson Kidd comes out after the match to create DRAMA for their drama-free match next week. But it's weird. Because Tyson acts angry, but doesn't actually say anything heelish. He angrily says he wants the belt, wants to use it to get back to the main roster, wants to use the belt as his stepping stone to hearing 25,000 people cheering for him, wants this belt to be his second chance. All of that makes TOO MUCH SENSE. Kidd said it intensely, but none of that stuff is mean stuff to say. Neville responds by telling him that the only member of his family who has a chance to win gold next week is his wife, "as usual". Wow. What a shithead thing to say to somebody. Really rubbing Kidd's nose in the shit right there. The babyface champion of NXT is a real petty shit.


NXT EPISODE GUIDE

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