Monday AIW - Against the World 8/26/16

42. Jollyville Fuck-Its (Nasty Russ/T-Money) vs. Cheech/Eric Ryan

PAS: This was the Fuck-Its' return to the promotion and was kind of a Fuck-Its showcase, which is a hell of a showcase. Colin Delaney couldn't make the show so Ryan replaced him, and Cheech and Ryan are a fun makeshift team. T-Money was especially great in this, his tope looked as good as ever and he was wrecking people with clotheslines and slams. Ryan hits a chop where he runs around the outside before landing it, and when he goes for it a second time, T-Money explodes out of the rail and pounces Ryan into the crowd, it looked like one of those NFL films violent collision videos they stopped doing after CTE became prominent.

ER: Any show that starts with a Jollyville match is gonna go up a grade in my book, and I love a cool WCW style thrown together tag team. WWE always threw together as a lazy way to write in tension. WCW thrown together teams were always born out of a guy suddenly left without a partner and forced to find the best substitute on short notice. It's how we end up with a cool Bobby Eaton/Mike Enos team, or Rick Steiner/Kenny Kaos, or Bobby Eaton/Kenny Kaos! Eric Ryan is an awesome wrestler and Cheech is a great flashy counterpart. Jollyville are just a great team, that honestly also would have fit into WCW. They feel like an awesome SMW team, T-Money hits hard shoulderblocks and clotheslines and punches like the best possible Ice Train. Nasty Russ has the long combed back hair and looks awesome, like a badass estranged brother of Mr. Rosso on Freaks & Geeks. And this whole thing was awesome, just my exact favorite kind of tag match. Jollyville looked great. This is absolutely one of the best Jollyville performances I've seen, and these guys are my team. Russ bumps like crazy but hits hard, and sometimes he hits the mat hard while hitting hard. He takes a clothesline in the corner at one point that knocks him up to the top rope and back down on his shoulders in one quick shot, and it's like a Psicosis bump that never happened before. And the match ends with him hitting one of the most gung ho cannonballs, really throwing himself into it like he was  jumping into a pool and not onto a man. T-Money looked so big league here, Just running into guys like a freight train with hard punches, big ass lariats, and an all time great no hands dive into both Ryan and Cheech, the greatest double clothesline. Money leans into beatings too, and he bravely took his lumps in the corner to eat a mean facewash from Cheech, coast to coast dropkick from Ryan, and that cool 619 around the ringpost from Cheech. Ryan has great snap on everything and is always running fast and crashing hard, and Cheech as I've said a ton just blends so well into a great formula tag match. I loved all the exchanges here, from the big hard hitting flash right down to simple missed exchanges. In fact, my favorite part of the match was T-Money missing clotheslines, just running fast as possible off the ropes and swinging so low and so fast with those meaty arms that any miscommunication would have ended in murder. That kind of stuff is why I love pro wrestling. I love this tag scene.

Shawn Shultz vs Louis Lyndon

PAS: This was a match with some cool individual moments, some nice kicks by Lyndon, a brutal DDT on the floor by Shultz, but it was ultimately kind of a mess. It seemed like they were switching from face to heel every 90 seconds or so, there was some super dancey stuff from Shultz who is supposed to be working as a Southern wrestler, and the aforementioned DDT on the floor was so nasty that it makes no sense for them to work a your turn my turn roll up section a minute later. I have liked both guys in the past, but this was no bueno.

Britt Baker vs Crazy Mary Dobson

PAS: Britt Baker is the big female AIW graduate and definitely got pushed past her ability level. Mary Dobson was throwing bows like someone who was putting over someone she shouldn't. The parts of the match where Mary was kicking her ass was fun stuff. The Baker wrestling sections significantly less so. I have dug Logan in the WWE, is there fun Crazy Mary I should be checking out?

14. Eddie Kingston vs. Shigehiro Irie

PAS: Kingston Road matches are specific subset of his big matches and there have been some awesome ones. I think this might be my favorite. Irie is a sawed off asskicker, who is going to hit hard and take a beating but this was Kingston taking what he can do and crafting a classic around it. Standard hard hit start, until Kingston takes an elbow to the ear and collapses. For much of the rest of the match he does some amazing head trauma selling, constantly shaking off cobwebs, unsteady on his feet, but moving forward and attacking. Irie is a force in this match, he breaks Kingston's hand by ducking his head on the backfist so Kingston hits the top of his skull instead of his jaw. Such a simple counter and so awesome looking. He also shrugs off a big lariat, hard to lariat a guy with no neck.  There was a bunch of tough guy selling in this match, but Kingston especially put enough pain behind his eyes that it wasn't just a cheap stunt. Finish had Kingston dumping Irie on his head and Irie popping up to stumble around, it was a tribute to the Williams vs. Kobashi finish and done about as well.

ER: Goddamn do I love 2004 NOAH Eddie Kingston. He is so damn good at perfecting one of my all time favorite eras of wrestling, with a unique slant, inventive selling, and a ton of personality, he's just going from I guy I've always been into to an all time great. This is everything Kingston does great, distilled into one match. I see this and it makes me angry I never got to see him against every guy who worked NOAH from 2001-2007. His stand and trade tough guy dying on his sword bombfests add so many more interesting dimensions to his style that it feels like it's exposing every single big dumb New Japan wankfest for what they are. This whole thing is just Irie and Kingston hitting each other while Kingston plays out the best vinyl pants Kawada match structure. I loved it, and I loved Kingston's heavy armed chops, backfists to the neck, big damn STO, and his selling while taking a big bodied beating. When he goes to hit Irie and hurts his hand, recoiling and falling down to a knee and then back on his butt, I was gleeful. And by the end of the match where Irie headbutts to counter two spinning backfists, and Kingston is rolling around on the floor holding his hand while the ref tries to get a read on the situation? I was in wrestling heaven. Two incredibly fun personalities, throwing blows, adding their personal color in a wonderful combination, harkening back to a style of puro I greedily consumed (and looking even better coming not several hours after checking in for the umpteenth time on New Japan to the usual disappointment). Another Kingston classic. 

BJ Whitmer vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

PAS: This was Yang's first match in 3 years (he took another 2 off and worked a Tokyo Gurentai match in 2018). It was a lot of shtick to cover up a guy who hadn't worked in forever. They took a plant from the crowd and made her Yang's manager, had lots of stuff with the Duke, etc. Yang had some nice looking flips, but wasn't landing anything with particular force. It was OK, but more of a live crowd match then anything to revisit. 

Alex Daniels vs. Matt Cross vs. Triton vs. Laredo Kid

PAS: Fun spotfest. Triton had a nice double jump dive to the floor, but was a bit slow and a bit leadfooted for some of the stuff he was trying to do. Dainels was surprisingly adept at the armdrag/lucha rope running part of the match, he looked like he had been working in that style for years. Lots of crazy spots, leading to kind of a lame ending with Gregory Iron tossing in a belt for Daniels to graze Cross with for a roll up. Took a bit of the steam out of the match honestly.

Tracy Williams vs. Michael Elgin

PAS: This was a very 2010s wrestling match. With your opening feel out mat sections, exchanging of big bombs, moves on the apron, forearm exchanges and big 2.9 sections at the end. It is expected stuff. This did lack some of the true excesses of the style, there wasn't a bunch of no-sells or a big "fight forever" finisher killer end run, and it had some little moments I really dug. Elgin is a big strong guy, and they did a short arm scissors deadlift spot, which is one of my all time favorites. I also loved how Elgin stepped into William's forearm blunting the impact with his belly. Overall this was a good match in a style I am weary of. Williams had a hell of a singles match run in AIW from around 2016 until he got signed by ROH, and this was a worthy part of that run.

Josh Prohibition vs. Nate Webb

PAS: Prohibition gets on the mic and says that no one paid to see them wrestle a mat classic, so they go relaxed rules. This was a greatest hits Nate Webb show, from the Teenage Dirtbag entrance, to a bunch of dumb bumps, to all of his twisty offense. I am a Nate Webb fan, so I was happy to watch him play his hits (Eddie Kingston even makes that call on commentary). Prohibition got put through a table and thrown around a bit, he was fine Nate Webb dance partner, made him look good.

Teddy Hart vs. Facade

PAS: This was a super Teddy Hart match. Mr. Money comes down with him. They open with some pretty awesome Teddy matwork, including a Fujiwara take down, and an incredible spot where he caught a kick to the chest and turned into a mid air leg lace, it looked like something Tamura might do. Then, of course, Teddy hurts his ankle applying a spinning scorpion. They stop the match, have people come from the back, take his boot off. Teddy limps to the ring gets on the mic and apologizes to the fans and puts over Facade as the future of the business. Facade thanks him, and attacks him giving him a Canadian destroyer. Teddy is able to fight back though and lay Facade out with a Destroyer on a guard rail. It did a nice job turning Facade heel and setting up a blood feud rematch (although Teddy just should have been laid out and not gotten his heat back), but of course since this is Teddy Hart, he never comes back to AIW. Still a cool, if ridiculous bit of business.

ER: Teddy Hart pulls off things that most wrestlers can't, and this is him pulling off a modern era Chris Hamrick performance. Chris Hamrick never had a cat, but you can imagine how successful he would have been with a white cat (obviously) wearing a matching shiny confederate flag vest. I loved those matches where Hamrick would take a grizzly bump and stop everything, bring out a couple guys from the back to check on him, lie motionless talking under his breath in a scared tone about his neck or his knee, get an organic Hamrick chant going, and basically derail everything for 8 minutes just to cheapshot his opponent with a ballshot. Could he have just kicked his opponent in the balls without falling off the top turnbuckle and twisting his knee in the ropes? Well, yeah. And HHH could have just hit Stone Cold with a sledgehammer in the first segment instead of setting up an elaborate series of costumes and double switches before hitting someone with a sledgehammer (except faking a knee injury to kick someone in the balls is infinitely more interesting and HHH didn't understand that). Here Hart punches Facade across the mouth a bunch, drops some cool unexpected transitions, and eventually hurts his ankle and limps back to the ring to put over Facade, AIW, the crowd, the boys in the back, and professional wrestling. And I liked the twist of Facade being the one to lash out with a Canadian Destroyer. I think it would have been a great heel turn...if Teddy Hart didn't immediately get to do a FAR cooler Canadian Destroyer from the apron onto a freaking guardrail that Facade had set up. Oh my god Gordy just slammed the cage door right in Kerry's face! But look at that, here's Kevin, and he slams the cage door right in Flair's face!! Von Erichs win!! And they never fight again.

71. Raymond Rowe vs. Tommy End

PAS: These two looked like a mosh pit fight at a Black Metal concert. I think this could have been an incredible 10 minute sprint. Both guys have super cool ways to throw knees, kicks, forearms and punches. I really like how End throws combos from different places, shooting low kicks to the knee, and punches to the ribs and kicks high. Rowe had some bangers too, although he did do some unnecessary leg slapping. There were some especially gross knees to the back of the head. This did feel a bit bloated, lots of killer shots which should have ended a match, but instead were just kind of there without any context. This was a big main event with Rowe fighting his friend in his home town, so I get why it was worked at the length it was, and it was overall a good match, I just think with some edits it could have been a great one.

ER: I really liked this, but agree it went too long. It's a bummer when I find myself really hooked into a match, and then feel myself mentally checking out through the last few minutes of kickouts and strikes. There were a couple of those "I am definitely checking out now" moments, like nearfalls where the guy doing the pinning is the one who kicks out first, and the peak just felt like it hit, then we shot past it and it's like we don't actually know how to end things but at least we still hit hard. But I really like these two! End is a strike combo guy, but he's one of the few who doesn't actually do the exact same combos in the exact same order every time out. There's a lot of strike combo guys. Every one that I'm thinking of always goes through the same sequences in the same way. End always winds up surprising me with a couple of the ways he sets up a kick. He hits his hooking spin kicks so quickly and accurately that they really do seem to come out of nowhere, and we never wind up with any of those stupid "I kick you and then you bounce off the ropes and hit me and that spins me around into another kick" kind of bullshit, End just comes up with cool ways to land shots without ever swing dancing. I really dug the stuff on the floor, both guys hitting the railing, Rowe setting up knee strikes on the apron, but wherever they were at I was never quite sure what was going to happen next. They always kept me guessing, and I like the strikes and big slams from both (that standing splash mountain from Rowe is damn cool), they manage to avoid the worst parts of this style.


2016 MOTY MASTER LIST

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CWF Mid-Atlantic Worldwide Episode 112

Episode 112

1. Zane & Dave Dawson vs. Tommy Dreamer/Nick Richards

ER: Man this stunk. Everybody looked completely sluggish and every strike landed short or light. Add to that a bunk finish and poorly done interference by a new manager, and this added up to a real poop sandwich. Dawsons get put over on commentary as huge guys with crushing offense, but then you see them throw weak clotheslines and pillow soft avalanches and light stomps and it's all a mirage. Dreamer looked flat out bad, fully going through the motions and not caring what any of his offense looked like. His punches looked atrocious and everything he did was just so damn slow. I normally like Richards' odd strikes but here he must have drank the same water as everyone else. At one point he throws some chops that, well, if they hurt, maybe they just didn't read well on camera. Dawsons had a manager I'd never seen named Clayton, and it seems like he was always out of position. Finish was a real stinker, with Dreamer/Richards getting the win and Clayton getting Dave's foot on the ropes late. Ref awards new champs the belts, then long after the pin he notices the boot on the rope, so restarts the match. I hate things that make refs look like total buffoons. For all he knew that boot could have been put on the ropes 30 seconds after the bell. So the match gets restarted and a weak as hell lariat to Dreamer immediately ends it. This threatened to get compelling in the middle when Dave Dawson was working over Richards, but there was just too much bad almost the whole way through. Post match the fans chant Thank You Dreamer like it was his last match...And of course we end with a Dreamer "boys in the back" promo. Yuck, all of it.

PAS: I thought this was fine. Dreamer has learned to work a match around shtick and two bumps. I am a guy who saw plenty of no knee pads Buddy Landell indy matches in the 90s and have no problem with Dreamer winding down his career as no knee pads Nature Boy. I am amused at Dreamer doing Dusty spots as Dusty was one of those guys ECW was rebelling against, kind of like all of those ex-Hippies voting for Reagan. I also thought Dreamer did a really nice job at selling surprise when it looked like he won the belts, he had this facial expression like "I didn't think I had it in me anymore" Sure not much of the actually wrestling looked particularly good, but it very much served it's purpose.

ER: I oppose DACA: Dreamer As Cody's Antecedent

2. Trevor Lee vs. Michael Elgin

ER: Feel like I'm going to end up being the low vote on this one. It really did not work for me. Elgin works his boss monster style where he can't be killed by conventional wrestling moves, except for those convenient moments where he suddenly needs to sell for an extended period. Lee also works these long matches with him getting a second wind, and then a third wind, and then his tank is on empty and he gets a fourth wind. It's not usually going to be my favorite kind of match, as it's really tough to build something with multiple peaks. The first match peak is almost always the best, and the more you try to fit in the more tiring it gets to keep peaking the viewer. I think they relied on the apron for drama far too often, and after awhile I just got numb. Both guys are impressive as hell and always break out stellar athletic feats, but these feats, in this order, did nothing for me. I didn't end up buying Elgin going down the way he did, and the moves that did put him down weren't effective for me (the overuse of punts to put him down seem like it came way early, as he still had to power through a lot of things later). Again, some things were impressive as hell, Elgin's falcon arrow pulling Lee up and into the ring, Lee's sell towards the end where he takes a shot, goes to return it and collapses forward in a heap; stuff like that worked for me in isolation. I just didn't like the match they were attached to. And the guys got to the end at different times, as I think Elgin came off way too fresh for the finish to work, and Lee came off way too dead for the finish to work.

PAS: I actually liked the finish here, as it was Elgin pummeling Lee with huge shots, talking shit to him about losing in his home arena, and Lee pulling off a tricky inside cradle to steal the win against an over confident monster. I do agree with Eric that it took too long and Lee took too much for it to work totally for me. I am just so numb to matches where the story is "how much can each man take", and lots of spots like the opening forearm exchange felt totally trite. I would have rather this been a quickish sprint with the same ending, but the fact that Elgin did 10 killer finishers for two counts in the middle of the match, really hurt his killer finishers at the end of the match.

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Lucha Worth Watching: CMLL 8/25/17

Zeuxis/Amapola/La Comandante vs. Princesa Sugehit/La Vaquerita/Sanely (CMLL 8/25/17)

ER: Short but intense ladies match, the first I've written up in awhile. Too often the ladies seem to go through the motions, but occasionally you get some unexpectedly inspired stuff on a Friday at Arena Mexico. Zeuxis and Sugehit go at it the whole match, with Zeuxis tossing Sugehit around the announcers booth and ripping her mask off to get DQ'd. Zeuxis has the best hair in the division and wrestles like it. Only someone with great hair can rip masks with that much evil glee. And it all builds to a great moment in the segunda where the rudas are dominating and Zeuxis runs down the ramp to get a running start at something sure to be wicked, and Sugehit runs out with a new mask to intercept her by the hair. This leads to a big tecnica comeback, with Sugehit ripping at Zeuxis' mask and throwing her around ringside, Amapola doing a huge Cassandro bump around the ringpost, Comandante and her newly relaxed hair gets dropkicked to the floor, Sanely...well, takes her shirt off to a big reaction, and Sugehit gets the roll up win after yanking Zeuxis' mask. Afterwards we get mask match promos which is a match with a lot of potential. I'm in.

Juice Robinson/Michael Elgin/Matt Taven vs. Volador Jr./Diamante Azul/Ultimo Guerrero (CMLL 8/25/17)

ER: Invading foreigner matches always seem to land less than they should, but this one was a blast even though this wouldn't be my first choice for foreigners or invaders. But the invaders worked like such outright dickbags that it totally worked. Juice Robinson especially was a standout, a real impressive athlete who was a favorite of mine on NXT. He was throwing all these stiff left jabs that reminded me just how much Marco has stopped caring about his left hands over the last year+. Juice kept using these annoying hands to set up other's offense, like punching someone directly into a Elgin german. Elgin is an odd fit for lucha, but he nestled in nicely doing his huge power moves (Arena Mexico seemed impressed when he did the samoan drop on Azul while doing a fallaway slam on Volador) and was around for the big moment which was Azul finally hitting his own huge german on him. Elgin even crushes Kemonito with a huge powerslam, poor guy looked like he really got smooshedTaven always looks like a slime, like every girl's least favorite crush in Color Me Badd, and while I don't think he has great offense I like how his flying moves always seem totally unhinged and out of control: Here he hits a no hands torpedo dive over the top and blasts UG hard into the barricade. Later Taven takes a great splat bump to the floor off UG's baseball slide dropkick. As much as I hate Volador epic main event singles matches, I think he's good in these rally the troops matches, and his superkick right under Juice's chin (with Juice timber sell and spit take) was a real highlight of the match. Finish set up is silly, with Johnny Idol coming out to distract UG, really felt like the same dumb 1999 WWE finish we got sick of 18 years ago, only difference was Idol's theme music didn't play. BUT. But. UG turns right around into Taven kicking him in the balls, and it kind of made it all worth it. Fun match, and I am now pissed that it doesn't appear the Juice/Shocker singles match is online.

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NJPW G1 Special in USA - Night 1 24 Hrs Later Not Live Blog

Even if I'm not very interested in the New Japan product, it's inarguable that it's the hot trend among our niche online wrestling culture. Even though I rarely match up with the popular opinions on New Japan, the appeal kind of fascinates me because I don't totally understand it. A lot of things that I see and think "Wow this looks terrible!", and it's still oddly jarring to see plenty of people see the exact opposite. Still, I think it's cool they're giving the US some shows, and I think it's cool they got broadcast live. We were out all day yesterday, and against my instincts - and without knowing much about the card or the results - I figured I would waste some time on a Sunday checking it out.


1. Bullet Club (Young Bucks/Bad Luck Fale/Marty Scurll/Yujiro Takahashi) vs. CHAOS (Briscoes/Will Ospreay/Roppongi Vice)

30 seconds of Scurll and I'm already kind of regretting this decision. His act feels composed entirely of movements that you've seen before, done better. But the Briscoes make me feel better about this decision. We get a great double team jab/chop combo, Mark hits a nice dive, Jays hits a dynamite baseball slide and then a crazy blockbuster to the floor, and this is getting good. The Bucks collapse a ring barrier on a dive and Ospreay hits the most gorgeous possible springboard SSP. That Scurll finger breaking spot is one of those things you flip for the first time, and at a certain point you realize how completely stupid it is to expect any wrestler to sell broken fingers 2 minutes into a match. Mark Briscoe is looking great though, flying in with a great rana and leaning deep into a Bucks superkick, and this whole thing is really good whenever it's not Scurll in the ring. Fale seems really out of place in this 10 man, doesn't look very plausible taking Romero offense. This whole thing was quicker than it should have been, and they easily could have dropped a few guys and made it into a better 6 or 8 man, but I assume they're trying to get as many guys on the card as possible. Matt Jackson: "I can't lose on TV, I got a deal with Hot Topic!"

2. Hiromu Takahashi//SANADA/EVIL/BUSHI vs. Jushin Liger/Dragon Lee/Titan/Volador Jr.

Weird they would frontload all these multiman matches, seems like they would be better served having them between tournament matches. Liger seems slower than the last time I saw him. I think he's better now in singles, that don't require the go go pace of an 8 man. SANADA takes a high bump to the floor and a sharp back elbow. Lee and Takahashi are guys whose match-up benefits from a multiman, because they don't have to kick out of absurd moves, but instead come in for some lightning in 15 second bursts. Takahashi whips himself into a German faster than anybody, it's nuts. SANADA mans up and catches Titan on a nutso dive, and suddenly this match is making me really want more SANADA. Titan ups the crazy by sprawling spectacularly into the buckles on a bump and eating a chairshot. Another short match, really feels like a major waste of some of the guys involved. I both appreciate them not making this a 6 hour card, while being disappointed in the match lengths so far.

3. Hangman Page vs. Jay Lethal

These flimsy ring barriers have already made a couple of nice spots look spectacular, I think we've had a barrier get knocked over every match so far. Here a nice Lethal dive looks devastating as Page gets plastered right through it. This just in: Page's shooting star shoulder block STILL the most "indy" move in wrestling. I say that, of course, before remembering that the Lethal Injection is somehow considered a finisher. I think I really like Lethal, except for that move's glaring stupidity. But considering matches often build to that move, it's a major problem. His rolling elbow and enziguiri look nice here, he eats a big clothesline, but we keep going back to that stupid slow handspring. When he finally hits it, he totally whiffs on it and Page sells it the same anyway. My god the move is the worst. And we get a 4th attempt and it lands short, but thankfully Page leaps forward right into it. If he literally just used any other boring finisher, his matches would be so much better, as all his in between stuff looked really great: great variety of kicks, elbows that land heavy, nice punches, but when so much of the match is built around something that stupid...

4. Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Juice Robinson

I think every match has featured someone with a strike combo that ends in a standing senton. I shouldn't complain as the senton is one of the most logical moves in wrestling, just dropping your body on a guy's ribs, but it's weird how many of these guys just aim to wrestle so similarly. Heel Sabre is wonderful as he has a great mug for smug showoff shit, and has a nice arsenal of cocky spots. There's mocking stuff like the dreadlocks cravat, but meatier stuff like nasty wrist bends, and subtler stuff like stepping on Juice's hand before applying a hold. People who discredit him as someone who just puts on "holds exhibitions" don't give him credit for cool stuff like that, distracting his opponent with one bit of pain before applying something more dangerous right after. Juice is good at setting up Sabre's nastiest stuff, and the powerbomb out of a triangle was a nice comeback spot. The match ending octopus hold was sick, and I love the set up with Sabre kicking Juice's bad wing, Juice instinctively punching him but doing further damage to the arm in the process, and leaving himself open to be stretched to submission. Really satisfying 10 minute match.

5. Yohei Komatsu/Sho Tanaka/Yoshi Tatsu/Billy Gunn vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi/David Finlay/Jay White/KUSHIDA

Boy this feels like a lopsided match-up. I don't know if Tempura Boyz are actually any good. I really loved a Komatsu/Liger match from a couple years ago, but I think I more loved the structure of vet vs. rookie than his actual ring work. I do love the heat Gunn is getting. He knows he's as out of place on this card as the ticket buyers think he is, so I love him going in there and just soaking it up. His lightly hurt face after his 1999 Suck It draws boos was perfectly done. People dump on Tatsu but he's got the Toecutter hair, gets dumped on his dome by Jay White, hits a fast low angle spinkick, and has no problem getting suplexed into the buckles. Finlay works like 2005 Roderick Strong mixed with current Barbaro Cavernario. His dad needs to teach him how to stomp hands and headbutt chests. Tanahashi's slingblade looked like crap against Gunn, and I don't think it was Gunn's fault. Overall, this wasn't much.

6. War Machine vs. Guerrillas of Destiny

I don't think I actually knew Camacho was Meng's kid when he was in WWE. They make this No DQ, but that just means they use some flimsy trash can lid shots, when their normal match strikes look better. I'd rather see them headbutting War Machine in the nose than hitting them in their meaty backs with a lid. I hate how "agile" Hanson tries to wrestle. Rowe embraces the hoss and is better for it. Hanson has too many spots that get too cute. But him getting powerslammed off a springboard is an impressively nutty spot to take. Tanga hits a nasty diving headbutt, and diving headbutts are still a thing guys are doing in 2017. Rowe eats a powerbomb through chairs, and probably lucky for him he parts them instead of bending through them with his kidneys. Hanson uses his cartwheel smarter than normal, organically using it to dodge a charge. It usually feels so much more planned out. And his dive is always impressive. But, I will say, the few times Stan Hansen did it in All Japan are so much more memorable because of how seldom he did it. The powerbomb/legdrop through the table was impeccably timed.

7. Tetsuya Naito vs. Tomohiro Ishii

This is fine but I'm kind of numb to Ishii's masochistic style at this point. Naito doesn't work as stiff a style as other guys who he's just endlessly stood and exchanged with, so it rings a little hollow to see him selling thigh slaps more than he sells say Shibata elbowing him in the throat. Naito makes amusing faces while eating gross chops, and I like a few of the cockier touches that he brings, like wiping his boots on the back of Ishii's head. His spit spot is always stupid and gross, but we ramp up to a whole new level when he spits blood in Ishii's face, and it actually makes me cheer when Ishii clobbers him with a vicious headbutt and snaps him with a folding powerbomb. I can't actually tell if Naito just botched running up the ropes a couple times in trying to the tornado DDT, but if they did then they expertly covered it and made it seem like Ishii was just pulling him away from the ropes to block. Either way, it made the DDT mean a lot more. They lost me a little bit with each guy showing how they can get dropped on different parts of their dome, but the 15 minute run time was far more satisfying than if this same match was in the Dome. I imagine it would go 25 and the pinfall here would just be the beginning. This was fine but felt a bit too much like they ramped up to "we're having an epic".

8. Michael Elgin vs. Kenny Omega

Elgin has a great shoulderblock and back elbow, and Omega has no problem leaning into a huge shoulderblock. Taking offense is obviously not Omega's problem. Love powerslam spots and Elgin always has a nice one. I would love it if he did more, really. JR talks about how they're starting "slow" but we've already gotten a powerslam, a shoulderblock dive off the top, and a brainbuster. Omega nails the leg lariat on the concrete and he actually hits it, usually he just leaps all the way over his opponent and they take a faceplant. Omega always has really weak looking chinlocks, and his backpack sleeper was even worse. His arm didn't even look like it was touching Elgin's neck. It was barely touching his beard. Elgin always has a lot of great looking slams, but it's the same problem as Angle letting everybody reverse his ankle lock, it just makes his own moves look weak. They all look spine crushing, but they're all treated like early match bodyslams. Like, holy shit, here's this German suplex on the freaking apron, followed by a freaking crucifix power bomb off the middle buckle, and Omega kicks out of it the EXACT same way he kicked out of the brainbuster 4 minutes into the match. The previous match ENDED with a brainbuster, and here it was nothing. But we now know that apron German and crucifix bomb are not much either. Elgin lays Omega out with the burliest clothesline on this show by far, but Omega still kicks out all the same. Seriously, he only knows how to kick out one specific way, always at the exact same time, every count. Every move *almost* puts me away, but no moves actually finish me! After Omega gets the back of his head blasted into the mat a few times, that unlocks the "do all your offense in a row" part of his brain, so we get a bunch of running knees (some looked great, some looked like femur bruising slaps). I admire Omega's restraint to not drop Elgin vertically on the clutch tombstone, and he eventually does all the right dance steps in the right order to unlock his finisher.

9. Cody vs. Kazuchika Okada

I will never not love when a heel postpones the opening bell so that he can go and kiss his attractive spouse. And Cody's shiny America tights and stars n stripe boots are glorious. HOWEVER, not using red/white/blue kinesio tape is that little touch to detail that shows that Cody JUST DON'T FUCKING GET IT. He gets it...but doesn't totally GET it. But then Brandi is wearing a fucking sequined American flag cocktail dress and he obviously fucking gets it. That dress would boost the ticket sales to any fucking USO show out there. I could be completely crazy, but has anybody else noticed the AXS cameras specifically focusing on couples in the crowd? 80% of the up close camera shots are of two slender, charming couples, chanting for their favorites and occasionally smiling at each other. Were they given a directive of "hey, no fattie neckbeards, okay? We gotta make this look like it's worth 4 hours of schedule." Okada having to find a way to get his opponent on the buckles so he can dropkick them off, yet always doing it the same way, is just as stupid as "you can't powerbomb Kidman" or somebody trying to sunset flip Super Porky or Rikishi. It needs to be said. Okada is a prettier face, conditioned haired, Billy Kidman except without all the deathwish bumps. Okay, they just showed a couple guys in the crowd who didn't APPEAR to be a couple, but one of the guys looked kinda like between-shoot-body Dan Stevens, so they may have thought they were showing a celebrity. Okada calls for the Rainmaker which just shows he's never heard of Albert Hammond Sr. before. Cody is the only guy in New Japan who understands how to use slaps. You mockingly smack a guy to muss his hair, or you do one after wide-eyed shit talking, or you use them to allow your opponent to get angry enough to justify their transition to offense. Cody gets - and uses - all three of them. You just don't stand and trade them. Cody understands the best way to use the Rainmaker is to make scared fans think that Cody was somehow going to get the title. When I wanted Brian Kendrick to desperately win the CWC and he got that one great nearfall on Ibushi? That joy I felt is tantamount to the fear these fans felt when they thought Okada would lose. Okada, however, does not lose.


You know, this could have been an absolute disaster of an idea. But this was a nice high floor low ceiling show. No blowaway great matches, but nothing that made me want to lean on the FF. A lot of the best stuff were the matches that hit the proper time, that money 10-15 minute zone. So it was nice to see this NJ style that I dislike, worked slightly toned down (I say toned down only because only one guy dumped himself on his head 3+ times, and nobody lost feeling in the right side of their body from a shoot strike on a nearfall). I liked tons of individual performances on the show, thought Cody looked great in the main, thought Sabre and Juice complemented each other well, SANADA looked like a guy I would actually request recommended matches from (any SANADA matches that would make our MOTY List from the last few years?), so it was a breezy view. I drank good coffee, played with my cat son Tacos, goofed off on Twitter, and watched some decent wrestling. It's a quality Sunday.

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2017 Doesn't Make the List: 4 1/2 & 5 Star Edition

1. Hiromu Takahashi vs. Dragon Lee (NJPW 2/11/17)

What a stupid little match. I genuinely like a lot of their CMLL matches, and I think their 3/4/16 match should land on our MOTY list (but Phil refuses to watch it so we likely won't ever know). But now the moves keep getting bigger and the actual point just skipped town. The Mexico matches had a strong tecnico/rudo leanings, with Kamaitachi being the despised foreigner. Here both guys take turns playing heel, and it's only one of the reasons that none of the moves here meant a damn thing. One minute Lee would do these great dickish condescending kicks to a downed Takahashi, and right after Takahashi would be yanking at Lee's mask. It all rang hollow when they would then fighting spirit their way through some suplexes. Both men were too wimpy to commit to a persona, and it made all of their spots look like geek show exhibition than two guys trying to win; it's that Kurt Angle "We're going to have a 5 star match" said during a supposedly heated promo. One-upsmanship can be compelling, but not nearly as much when neither guy is working a consistent emotion. The Mexico matches benefitted greatly from the 2/3 falls structure, as it gave some natural breathing time (which these two have shown they are incapable of doing, rushing through huge spots as if there was a madman threatening to blow up the arena if they work below a certain speed), and most importantly it allowed 2 extra pinfalls, so that at least a couple of their finishers actually got to finish something. There are some genuinely spectacular spots in this match, and some genuinely stupid ones, often spectacularly stupid. I'd be shocked if Lee could keep a straight train of thought and wasn't slurring speech postmatch after taking that sunset flip powerbomb, getting thrown off the top to the floor while setting up a double stomp, and later getting brained into the guardrail catching Takahashi's wild senton. The problem is that it sure never felt like it was affecting him that much, as he would always go immediately back on offense. The fans didn't even seem to react to much of this until Takahashi awesomely unmasked Lee. Shocking, that actually committing to being a dick lead to an actual emotional reaction. Many moves were done, neither man struggled to do any of the moves, both men were heels until they weren't, many moves were kicked out of, eventually one of the moves was not kicked out of.

2. Michael Elgin vs. Tetsuya Naito (NJPW 2/11/17)

Damn. This one had me, until it lost me. And then after it lost me, it continued existing for another 10 minutes. I was hooked, really into it. Elgin isn't a guy I love but I was really loving his performance. His early power stuff was awesome, and I loved Naito's bug eyed desperation as he had no clue what to do to actually stop the beast. Elgin catching Naito's tope was far and away the most impressive I have ever seen that spot. On paper it's always an impressive spot, but it's really difficult to make it look like the diver didn't know he was being caught ahead of time. Here, with Naito's facials and Elgin's strength, it looked like Naito hit a dive the exact same way he normally would have, and Elgin  unexpectedly caught him and suplexed him (AND sold the suplex himself, as it WOULD hurt to suplex a guy on the floor). So I was pretty sold on the match at that point. And then Naito started working over Elgin's knee, and Elgin sold it really great. Not just limping around, but doing neat things like hitting a german and bridging on his good leg, and two different times using the ropes to assist him in doing a kick (an enziguiri and later a superkick). There were a couple of minor lapses but overall the selling was really spot on, and gave Naito important openings. Elgin was still catching him with some brutal standing shots (including those great standing lariats) and Naito was starting to pull ahead. It was good. It was a smooth, turbulence-free landing on the MOTY list. And then Elgin started doing some rope running spots, some of his big lifts, knee unaffected. Which, okay, nobody is perfect. And then it happened the rest of the match, even when Naito locked in a leg bar, and the crazy moves to Naito ramped up, which means he was kicking out of everything that looked deadly, and then the thing just shot past the end zone and kept running out of the stadium, Gump style. The overkill went on too long, past the point of interest. I could not call it a bad match, as the first 60% had tons of value, but man did they work really really hard to undo all of that. I really loved the build and tone this match had, which makes it a huge disappointment that they went the direction they did. And that's arguably a worse offense than just being a bad match from the bell.

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Ring of Honor on Destination America 11/25/15 Review

1. Moose vs. A guy with the last name Carter

Silly flipping spear, match over. "What a way to kick off this hour of ROH television." Okay, Kevin Kelly. Elgin comes out after prompted by Stokely Hathaway. and gets in Moose's face. Moose says "we can do this right now". Never before has anybody who said that, actually done something right now. Truth Martini says a bunch of stuff I don't listen to. Any Truth Martini is too much, but it sets up this match...

2. Moose & Michael Elgin vs. Donovan Dijak & J. Diesel

And it's not bad! It's brisk, almost worked tornado style. Everybody except Moose looked good. Moose had these terrible standing headbutts to Diesel's shoulder, and Diesel looked like he had no idea what he was supposed to be selling. Elgin hit a fun somersault senton off the apron, Diesel took an absolutely disgusting spinning back chop to the face from Elgin (that one got a couple rewinds), Dijak takes a crazy Psicosis ropes bump off a lariat, Taeler Hendrix looked like a weird plastic monster, Dijak's 360 pump kick is goofy but resulted in Moose getting kicked in the neck (even though Moose doesn't get that whole selling thing at all). So yeah, this was good. Moose is not good.

3. Roderick Strong vs. Jay Lethal

Damn this was goooood. I strongly dislike most of this Jay Lethal touring heel champ run, as he has terrible offense for a main event heel, the worst finisher in wrestling, and just doesn't have the persona for the style he's trying to work. Strong I like, but wasn't expecting anything when I dislike 50% of the guys in a match. But the match kicked ass. It's probably, easily, the best match from the whole run of shows shown on Destination America. Strong beat Lethal's ass the whole match, tossing out big elbows and nasty chops, really working him over all around the ring.  There was a minor blown spot that I think helped things, where Strong tried to pick Lethal up to drop him with a backbreaker he dropped him. BUT then he muscled him up hardway to redo the spot and planted Lethal over his knee. I'm not usually the biggest fan of immediately redoing spots, but it just made Strong look determined. Least favorite part of the match was Lethal hitting the Lethal Injection only to have Strong kickout. The kickout itself was really well done, nicely placed, made sense in the match, but Lethal made this impossibly goofy face afterwards to express "shock" and the camera just lingered on this awful face. He had half his lip tucked into his mouth and was doing these exaggerated stage breaths, like the community theatre cast of Godspell coming out for a minorly deserved curtain call. His horrible facial expression, with that weird tucked lip and heaving breath, looked like he was doing an impression of Oklahoma doing his impression of JR. I'm not sure what face he thought he was making, but it couldn't have possibly been that face. Lethal did keep going for his bad offense, his wimpy dives, his horrible finisher, but Strong just kept beating ass. His knees are a thing of beauty. He's got the timing down pat, and I've seen few better jumping knees. The finish run was great with Strong throwing every single thing at Lethal, one right after the other, and you knew it was building to something big, like when they shoot up tons of fireworks right at the end of 4th of July, all at once, with Lee Greenwood playing somewhere. Strong hits some big ass knees, a big gutbuster, his running kick, backbreaker, really just stacking up all his offense for one big blowoff. By the time he locked on the Stronghold Lethal tapped almost to just make it stop, which was the proper finish. Really really good match, not just because it exceeded expectations, but because it was legitimately good. And also, because that means less Lethal in big title matches, some distance for Strong and Lethal, and puts everybody in a better place.

If this was the last episode on DA (and I think it was) they at least went out on a nice high note.

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Ring of Honor on Destination America 11/18/15 Review

1. Silas Young & Beer City Bruiser vs. War Machine

So now instead of overtly passionate men now we just get jokey segments with Young teaching the Boys about being men. It's all still clearly gay, I mean it is at a highway rest stop, but now it's getting too winky and hokey. This basically felt like Slick teaching Kamala how to bowl. But the match was real good so *shrug*. We get a lot of meaty bodies crashing into each other and War Machine actually felt like hosses instead of the usual hoss cosplay (hossplay?) that especially Hanson comes off as. I loved the early shoulderblock exchanges with Hanson eventually sending Bruiser flying, we got avalanches, cannonballs, big splashes, the kind of stuff you'd want. Rowe kinda whiffs on a superman punch but makes up for it later in the match. I dug Beer City Bruiser here, he really dumped himself on suplexes a couple times, hit a big frog splash, a wild cannonball off the apron into The Boys, and yeh this was good.

Steve Corino gets in the ring with Nigel wanting to reinstate him, but Corino talks about how 79 tours of Japan (but who's counting!) have left his body broken, and he needs serious neck surgery so will not be able to wrestle. He really should have thought about that before working so many non-ROH indies this year.

2. Michael Elgin vs. Kevin Lee Davidson

Booooooooo. Davidson is a big lumpy fat guy who I immediately get excited to see, and the match ends after one okayish clothesline. Elgin as HHH is tired.

3. The Addiction vs. The Kingdom

This match can kind of be summed up by one Daniels missed corner charge. Daniels threw Taven into the buckles, watched as Taven stopped himself by kicking his legs up and back. We see Daniels watching Taven, waiting for the right moment to run underneath him while not getting kicked in the face, because that's how the spot goes. So Daniels watches Taven kick up and over, runs towards the buckles and ducks WAY low to avoid Taven kicking him in the face, and then, when arriving into the turnbuckles, he stops and confusedly looks around, flabbergasted how he ended up chest first in the buckles instead of bumping dicks with Matt Taven, or whatever move he was pretending to do while just running towards the turnbuckles. Dur durdur where did he go General Daniels?? You threw him into the buckles, but when you arrived in the buckles seconds later, he was gone! Look around some more, did he sneak past the ring pole? You watched him not hit the buckles, you ducked really low to run underneath his body, but then his body was not in front of you! That body that you just ran underneath!

We got all four guys realllllly showing off their comedy chops in this one. It was terrible. Tons of yuks. Daniels looked so bad. The guy telegraphs everything to an insane degree. We got a dive train spot where nobody knew how to catch anybody else. Ref bump. Comedy spots. Contrived double teams. A real triple threat!

And to think, I won't even get the privilege of watching this on television in a couple weeks.

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Ring of Honor on Destination America 9/23/15 Review

1. Silas Young vs. Michael Elgin

Elgin hasn't been on TV in awhile so he goes over pretty strong on Silas here, but Silas is more of a regular so might have been nice to give him more. Although when he did get more his stuff looked kind of weak, including an incredibly goofy slingshot double foot stomp...thing, that doesn't really look like it touches Elgin. But Young at least takes Elgin's stuff nicely, especially a massive powerbomb on the floor into the guardrail. Kevin Kelly was doing his horrible style of announcing, where he doesn't so much do play-by-play as he does just yell out random nouns that he sees. When Young went for a backbreaker on Elgin, Kelly just yelled "Surgically repaired KNEE of SILAS!" Not anything about the backbreaker, just decided to point out Young's knee, which had nothing to do with any part of the match. It's like he spends 80% of the match looking elsewhere, and then occasionally looks up and points out the first object he notices. Maybe it's some sort of creative writing thought exercise? Needed more underlying homosexual shame and rage, like the other Silas Young matches.

2. Caprice Coleman vs. ACH

Well this didn't do a whole lot for me. All thigh slaps all the time. Just a buncha slappy sounds with legs extended in kick like motions. Legs not touching opponent's bodies, but slappy sounds happening anyway. If a superkick missed in Philadelphia, would it still make a slapping sound? Always. Always.

3. RPG Vice & Kazuchika Okada vs. Hirooki Goto & Briscoe Bros.

This started out not very good, and by the end I was on board. Jay started with Okada and it's not shocking that Okada had bad looking strikes, but Jay looked like he was holding waaaaay back. No clue what was going on here because a few minutes later he's beating the hell out of Trent. Maybe Jay was just being a slow starter, because by the end he's tossing out headbutts and big lariats and looking like a monster. But if this match works, and eventually it does, it's because Mark was absolutely on fire throughout the entirety of this. I couldn't take my eyes off that crazy caveman. Yeah Trent can take a big bump and Goto threw a nice spinning heel kick in the corner, but this was the Mark Brisco show. All of Mark's palm strikes looked great, he flung himself into offense, all his combos looked cool while also looking like he was just making them up as he went. He looked awesome, one of my favorite Mark performances. And after Jay's stumble early with Okada, he went out on a wild note just killing Baretta. Briscoes make everything better.


This week's show went by quick, even if looking back I didn't love a lot about it. That's...good, right? All worth it for Mark Briscoe.

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Ring of Honor on Destination America 7/8/15 Review

1. Watanabe vs. Dalton Castle

Good god why is Watanabe on TV so much!? I mean this guy just brings nothing to the table. I take that back, he had a nice little side thrust headbutt here. But the rest of the time he works real loose (his stomach kicks are so so bad) and works real slow. There's just so much down time in Watanabe matches. Castle looked better (not surprisingly) in his match against Liger, but he gamely tries to make Watanabe's offense look somewhat painful here. We have to sit through an interminable small package reversal sequence where they roll unconvincingly around the ring, the ref occasionally counting pinfalls even though shoulders were never touching mat. But Castle does hit a sick deadlift German, and I am a total sucker for a great deadlift German suplex. Castle's looked killer, really hanging Watanabe there like a pendulum before beginning that ascent. Highlight of the match. Although after the the match was over, Castle lies down on a man bench consisting of his two eunuchs. THAT is awesome.

Long Truth Martini promo with Jay Lethal. The fans cloyingly chant "You deserve it!" at Lethal. Yuck. Is there anybody in the fed that the fans REALLY dislike? Or even sorta dislike? Everybody gets chants. Everybody is awesome. Watanabe gets chants, presumably because he wrestled in New Japan. Who is an actual heel here? This whole interview all builds to whether he plans on vacating the TV title or if he plans on defending both titles on shows in separate matches. It's weird as he talks about valiantly defending both titles because he's a fighting champion, but also telling the fans to shut up. So he's a valiant heel? A bad guy who does heroic things? He also says the phrase "snowball effect" but it sounds like "snuggle effect". I wanna know what the snuggle effect is!! An overdose of coziness!!

2. Adam Cole, Michael Bennett & Matt Taven vs. Michael Elgin & reDRagon

"Elgin looks like he's having fun again in the ring". Man Corino and Kelly are BAD. You should have heard the way Corino said Elgin is "having fun". It's not like he finished rampaging through the other team and then Corino shouted "Elgin's having fun in there!!!" He said it more like two mothers talking about the daughter of another mother, who had recently had her stomach pumped because she took too many pills. And she had been volunteer assistant coaching the local high school's girl's lacrosse team and these two moms sitting at one of their respective dining room tables goes "You know Jessica's really having fun again! She lost her smile there for awhile but you should see her with these girls! She's really having fun again. Bless her heart." Neither of them think Jessica is actually okay. They just wanted to gossip about her without sounding like gossips.

And this match is just kind of maddeningly bad. Really bad in an in your face kind of way. This is about 20 minutes of Elgin doing tons of offense and big moves to the opposing three guys, and then kicking out of everything they throw at him. reDRagon are very much afterthoughts in this save for one section in the middle, the rest is ALL Elgin working a 2003 HHH routine and just being the ultra mega super man. This whole match was just set up as a Michael Elgin spot exhibition. This same crowd who was cheering and chanting wildly for WATANABE of all people actually chant "This match sucks". And it was moments after Kelly and Corino were talking about what a tremendous main event we were witnessing. A lot of guys in this didn't look good. Matt Taven is the master of missing offense that never would have hit, just to set up an opponent's offense. Here he did an axe handle off the top rope that landed him nowhere near anybody, just to get kicked by O'Reilly. I did like Taven setting up a boot choke in the corner by yelling "Stacy Keibler!!" before choking a guy out with one of his long gams. O'Reilly himself regularly looks lousy, with poor strikes (his running body kick in the corner looked especially terrible) and then just looking really awkward getting into position for thing. Him setting up a Fujiwara armbar variation took longer to apply than Undertaker's old Devil's Butthole or whatever UT's submission was called. Fish looked good in his couple brief moments, dug his nice slingshot senton over the turnbuckles. We do get a couple fun dives, we get Elgin powerbombing Taven onto everybody over the top to the floor, and we got Elgin running through every single piece of offense that he's ever seen anybody do ever. Elgin throws nice elbows. He can throw a nice clothesline. His power offense looks good. But holy shit. The layout of this match was just...stunning.

But we get a Mark Briscoe match next week, so yay.

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Ring of Honor on Destination America 6/24/15 Review

1. Roderick Strong vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Well this was...disappointing. I love Nakamura, and Strong has been on a real nice tear the last year +, but this just didn't gel. A couple of Strong's knees looked nice, a couple of Nak's knees look nice. But they did too much of that obnoxious fast slow fast big match indy style, where we're rushing all around, but then suddenly we're both sooooo tirrrrred and we're hit hitting each other with forearms using the lasssst strength in our boddddddies.......but then we're up and running and we're doing moves where we awkwardly drop each other on our own bodies instead of the mat!! I didn't like it. I've seen so much Strong that I've liked lately, and this felt like him wrestling like the Strong I have not liked. Loved Nakamura flying face first and getting turned inside out on Strong's flying kick, but all the moves dropped onto knees looked crummy, the fast slow fast got tiring, and they just didn't click. I still like both guys, it just didn't work for whatever reason.

2. Gedo vs. Michael Elgin

This was short but I liked it plenty. Elgin has maybe too much offense, could probably trim that up a bit, but I liked Gedo peppering him with jabs and trying to avoid big bombs and throws from Elgin. I wish there was some more Gedo offense as it was mostly him sticking and moving and trying to dodge Elgin offense before Elgin just kinda goes on a run to the finish. Elgin hits a brutal back elbow, and his powerbomb into turnbuckles, then seated was nice. The corkscrew senton seems a bit silly for him, not just compared to his power offense but within the context of this match. But his power stuff looks good. I wish I could have got at least one Gedo fistdrop though. It's like Modern English not doing "I Melt With You". I shit you not, Modern English played "I Melt With You" twice in a row when they played my college town. They literally played it, people loved it...and then they immediately played it again, and people flipped out even more. What's that about highspot overkill?

3. Kazuchika Okada & Roppongi Vice (Rocky Romero & Trent Barretta) vs. AJ Styles & The Young Bucks

God, Phil is going to murder me for writing up a fucking Rocky Romero match instead of any number of things he has saved in Drafts. But I actually dug this match....and I think I kind of really like The Young Bucks, which either makes me a complete asshole, a total chucklehead, an ironic contrarian, a contrary Iranian, or a person with poor taste in wrestling. Wrestling is absurd bullshit in most of its forms, and I often don't care for comedy in wrestling, but sometimes there exists some sort of parody that is so on the nose and amusing that it just clicks for me. I'm thinking Chris Hero's weird Chris Divine tribute run in NOAH that no NOAH crowd understood. Bucks seem just a slight tick different than Chuck Taylor brand comedy, and it's all the difference in the world. There's a smug shrug about them, where instead of appealing to the crowd with their bullshit, they just do their bullshit to entertain themselves, because they can. And what's great, is they cut off others' bullshit, to do their own bullshit, which is awesome. Barretta was doing his stupid ass apron spot where he runs around yelling before hitting a disappointing slingshot move (I had blamed Chuck Taylor as a poor influence on him before, but here he did it again with no Chuck in sight, so the blame for shittiness is all on Trent now) and as he goes through his whole "crowd hype" routine, one of the Bucks waits until the very end to superkick him. It would be like letting Scotty get all the way to the end of the Worm before superkicking him out of the way. It's like they read my mind. "Ugggh, gotta wait for Barretta to go through all of his dance steps before hitting this.......thank you. Thank you, Bucks." If you're going to buy into the absurdism that is standing forearm exchanges or rope running, then you may as well buy into a fucking stuff piledriver with a springboard 450 sitout assist. That kind of overkill takes things to a sort of practical performance art, where you look like a clueless asshole for even criticizing it. It's like criticizing the Stooges lyrics or Ratt's song titles or early 80s Italian "Escape From New York" ripoffs. They are exactly as they appear to be, and they don't give one shit. Over the top offense like that is a wonderful thing for a heel tag team to do. It comes off like the cockiest shit in the world when it hits, but the set up is so long that it provides natural opportunities for babyfaces to gain momentum. Their superkicks don't look great, but they're treated essentially as tantamount to slaps, so they don't need to be good. You start thinking of them as more of an insult as opposed to a killshot, and their matches suddenly get even better. Superkicks while Styles is about to hit a Styles Clash? Awesome insult to injury spot. So yeah, whatever the Bucks did in this match worked on me to insane degrees. They hit the right notes which is not what I was expecting.

As for the others, Styles worked well with Okada who looked about as expected. I liked Styles putting in little things like front kicking Okada's arm when he went for the Rainmaker. Romero has been working on his spit takes which are done well, but really feels like something a heel should be doing. Add in a Bucks spit take where one of them spits in the others face? License to print money. Barretta has plenty of bad traits, but then he'll bump like a lunatic (see him getting suplexed into the buckles by Styles) and toss out some offense with surprising impact. My opinions on him switch constantly within a match. I was not really excited for this match at all, but ended up really loving it, even with its flaws. Seemed like they had a goal in mind, and they met the goal. I'm kind of stunned at how much I loved the Bucks. I can see every single argument in the world against them, and I can see myself hating them the next match of theirs I see, but this shit worked.

This was easily the best show they've aired since being on DA. Really smooth hour of wrestling right here.

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Beyond Wrestling Americanrana ‘14 Review

Tag Team Battle Royal

This was a tag team battle royal, so like you would expect we have lots of guys with pun tag team names throwing clubbing forearms. There was some Johnny Cockstrong comedy spots, although not as funny as it has been in the past. Really hard to get much of a sense of anyone in a cluster like this.  They kept it moving at least so I wasn’t bored.

Pinkie Sanchez/Sugar D (Sex and Candy) v. Dave Cole/Aaron Epic (Fear in Loathing in New England)

This was based apparently on a breakup of a Sanchez/D/Epic stable, so was a little more heated then a lot of Beyond I have seen. I was happy to see that, but I didn’t love this match. Cole and Epic seemed like pretty generic tights and boots indy guys, lots of double stomp double teams and yakuza kicks. I did like Sugar D’s fired up Mr. Wrestling 2 babyface act, but I think Sanchez hurt himself and the finish was a bit wonky.

Nicholas Kaye v. Anthony Stone

This was a loser must retire throw in the towel match. This is a long running feud I am unfamiliar with, I have probably seen both guys before but they didn’t make much of an impression on me. The match started out like a pretty fun garbage brawl stunt show, Kaye catches the side of a chair in the face early and gushes blood which always adds to this kind of match. I also had no problem with the interference which had Kaye’s second Myke Quest (who looks like a sleazier Dean Ambrose, which I was surprised was possible) and Stone’s sister Natalya brawling on the floor. I was all set to recommend this, but the ending was super dumb, Stone handcuffs Kaye to the ring and goes and gets a chainsaw which causes Kaye to throw in the towel. Really silly, and anti climactic,  it almost felt like a comedy spot, he might as well have gotten a bazooka or a bayonet. It felt like they were building to something pretty cool, but the finish took it out of me.

Bryan Myers v. Ryan Rush

Myers is the former Curt Hawkins who is a WWE guy I know existed, but remember very little about. This was student v. teacher and worked as kind of an IWA Mid-South touring exhibition match. I thought Rush had some pretty nice athleticism, he had big time hops on his dropkick for a solidly build dude. Myers was clearly professional an well trained, although a little bland. There was a fun spot where Myers took a bump into the crowd an laid out four fans, that might work better on a show where everyone watching is a wrestler.

Team Tremendous (Dan Barry/Bill Carr) v. Best Friends (Chuck Taylor/Trent Baretta)

I think I have made my feeling about Chuck Taylor wink and smirk wrestling pretty clear, Baretta I remember being a generic Velocity junior in the WWE, but he is in Taylor land now. I have liked Barry in the past but he is along for the yucks here. Finish is clearly improvised as Baretta blew out his knee on a dive. Very much not my thing, although I suppose if you like Taylor’s horseshit, you might enjoy this.

Eric Corvis v. Jimmy Jacobs

This was a first blood match and was one of the two matches which caused me to buy this show, I haven’t seen a ton of Jacobs recently, but he has always been a guy I liked a lot, and someone who is really great at working a gimmicked brawl, Corvis is one of my favorite Beyond guys, I am not a usually a fan of guys working innovator of offense gimmicks, but he does pull out some cool moves and is also a pretty good brawler. This was good stuff for the lions share of the match, I liked all of the teasing  of spikes and there were some nasty looking stuff with chairs including Corvis hitting a spring board moonsault Van Damninator. Then unfortunately the booking kicks in as the TJ Marconi and Darius Carter heel invasion stable comes out and cuts a promo in the middle of the match, as Dany Only in an V for Vendetta mask comes out and stabs Corvis in the throat with a corkscrew, the carving up of Corvis was pretty nasty, but Jacobs totally got black holed as he had to stand around when they ran their angle. Nothing wrong with setting up something for the next show, but it sucks that they didn’t let the Corvis v. Jacobs feud work itself out.

Drew Gulak v. Tommaso Ciampa

This was a European Rules match, and was kind of a mix of a Gulak style match and an ROH indy match, Ciampa was fine on the mat, and the early parts of the match had some very cool matwork, including a bunch of really nifty spots built around knuckle locks. At one point it kind of flipped to a bunch of elbow exchanges and suplexes into turnbuckles and that stuff was a lot less compelling. I liked the end run OK as they did a bunch stuff working around the specific rules, each exchanging low blows to get an advantage, and Ciampa staying down during the 10 count and taunting Gulak. Good match, and a fun Gulak performance, although not at the level of the best stuff he has done this year.

Kimber Lee v. Silver Ant

I am not sure what the point of working intergender matches completely equal, it feels like less of a big deal when the woman pulls an upset. Silver Ant was pretty good, I liked the counter mat wrestling he was doing and kept himself looking strong while putting over a tiny girl.

Juicy Product v. Young Bucks

This was similar in a way, to the main event with the Beyond guys working a match in the style of their opponents. I liked this a little more, as I have more tolerance for Young Bucks Spotfests then Elgin matches, although neither are my thing.  Lots of crazy spots one after another with minimal selling or little downtime. I thought the Juicy Product seemed very comfortable doing this style which has a high degree of difficulty, this isn’t what I look for in wrestling, but I enjoyed it OK

Chris Dickinson v. Michael Elgin

I couldn’t get into this. Really was clear that Dickinson wanted to a work an ROH main event style Elgin match and that is something it is going to be very hard for me to get into. Lots of fighting spirit stuff, diffident selling, very much not my thing. I can see fans of this style liking it, Dickenson looks credible throwing blows with a big dude like Elgin. Lots of interference which didn’t help.

Not my favorite Beyond show, had a handful of matches I was enjoying ruined by booking, and some stuff that was not up my alley. Gulak v. Ciampa might be worth the individual match price though as Gulak is having himself a year

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ROH TV Workrate Report: 3/7/11

I read that there are only like 4 or 5 more episodes of ROH on HD Net, so I will possibly need another weekly show to review. Thoughts, anybody? Superstars? CMLL on LATV? AAA? I am open to suggestions.

1. Michael Elgin vs. Kyle O'Reilly in a SEMI-FINAL bout of the TPT! This could be a fun one. Big biel by Elgin (Biel? Beal? Beele? What is correct?) O'Reilly ducks some Martini interference and throws a nice elbow, but then Elgin shoulderblocks him HUGE right out of the air off a springboard dropkick! YES! O'Reilly recovers and gets a rolling armbar, but Elgin powers up and hits a fallaway slam!! We go into a strike exchange and Elgin seems to be holding back a bit but leans way into a nice dropkick. O'Reilly does some tumbling exercises and then hits a nice kick combo, but it doesn't damage Elgin too much. They battle out on the apron, exchanging yakuza kicks, an then Kyle climbs to the 2nd rope (Elgin still on the apron) and ranas Elgin to the floor, and Elgin spills out spectacularly. Definitely worthy of the replay. Elgin staggers into the corner of the guardrail, and O'Reilly does a MASSIVE running dropkick off the apron and just PLANTING his feet into Elgin's stomach. Elgin was stuck in the corner and O'Reilly really just went crashing through him. That was fucking killer. This match is fucking awesome so far. Back in the ring and O'Reilly hits a big missle dropkick. Elgin up and throwing some big whiffing Leonard Garcia haymakers, but then catches Kyle with an exploder and a spinebuster. Elgin goes for a clothesline, but O'Reilly kicks his arm, so Elgin wheels around and uses the other arm to level him with a MASSIVE clothesline (O'Reilly ragdolled and flipped all over onto his dome and is making me fall in love with him). I thought that was 3 so I completely BUY THE NEARFALL!! Elgin lifts him for another slam and O'Reilly reverses into a tornado DDT and Elgin PLANTS his head directly into the mat. Using the available keys on my keyboard, he took that DDT at a nasty 45 degree angle, like this --> /. He's the forward slash there. I BUY THE NEARFALL AGAIN and this match is all movezy and I'm loving it! Now Elgin is bringing the stiff elbows and back elbows and hits a NASTY cradle suplex on O'Reilly, just right on the head. Good lord. I BUY THE NEARFALL again and Elgin is just as shocked as I am. Elgin goes for a powebomb to end it all, but O'Reilly deadweights him and drags him down into a triangle, and is giving him 12-6 elbows in the triangle. Elgin powers back to his feet, but O'Reilly reverses into a sunset flip for the 3!

I completely thought Elgin was going to win this and face Bennett, but I don't care because that match was fun as FUCK. I know there's a weird rumor that Segunda Caida hates movez matches, but that ain't true at all, they just have to be done RIGHT and this one had that in spades. This built well and had plenty of believable nearfalls, but they never seemed overkill or ridiculous. When O'Reilly would kick out, he would BARELY get out before the 3, and there was no "sell like death but then get up and rope run a bunch". Both guys were on spaghetti legs and this was paced really, really well. Wonderful 8 minutes here, and easily my favorite ROH TV match since Necro stopped appearing. Fun fun stuff, you should go out of your way to see it.

I WAS eating a whole bunch of really delicious and sweet raspberries while watching that match, but I don't think it affected my outlook in any way. If you watch the Elgin/O'Reilly match and think it stinks, then it's probably because there was a raspberry party in my mouth and they can make anything fun. Go get yourself some Driscoll's organic raspberries. They're in season.

2. The other semi-final in the TPT, Mike Bennett vs. Andy Ridge. I did not like Andy Ridge before, but I give people 2nd chances. Right Leg Ridge is a pretty decent nickname. Nice shoulderblock to start by Bennett. Corino tells the camera that Bennett is really good at the basics. Some kicks by Ridge get two, and Bennett bails as Ridge misses a superkick. I loved the Chris Adams/Great Kabuki superkick match on the 80s Texas Set. ROH should bring in Nate Webb to work a superkick match. Or shit, just bring in Nate Webb. Back in and Bennett takes like 9 more kicks and is making really great faces while being kicked. Nice running dropkick to Bennett in the corner. Hogewood: "If I have one criticism of Ridge, he uses that right kick a lot." You dance with who brung you, Mike. Bennett finally scouts a right kick (after taking about 17 of them and nothing else) and transitions to control. Both guys throw decent elbows (Bennett's is really nice) and Ridge hits a nice running knee. Bennett blocks a superkick, goes for a piledriver, but Ridge gets a roll up for 2. Bennett dodges a superkick and hits his sit-out uranage slam for the win.

OK. That's two weeks in a row where Bennett's opponent took 90% of the match, and then Bennett just won out of nowhere with a sit-out slam that looks far less devastating than most ROH workers transition offense. It's like in ECW where Shane Douglas would use chairshots and weapons and then win with a belly to belly. In this match I only remember Bennett hitting a couple elbows and a vertical suplex. Ridge took 7 of the 8 minutes, then just got pinned. I was enjoying Bennett, but if this is going to be his regular match formula then his matches are going to get beyond old.

Tony Kozina is back on TV! I've always liked Kozina. Buuuuuuuutttttt, he's back on TV with Davey Richards. Davey does an actual decent interview, because he's not trying to cut one of his shitty promos, just kinda being interviewed by Cornette and casual definitely works better for him. Cornette tongues Davey's asshole and it makes all of us uncomfortable. Just blowing Davey and talking about his MMA and Pancrase abilities, as it shows him holding a surfboard on an opponent. I miss all those classic Bas vs. Frank Shamrock inverted surfboard battles. Apparently Kozina vs. Davey is next week, and I'll be honest....I'm kinda interested in seeing it. This segment was actually really well done, presenting Kozina and Davey as two guys who like each other, but who will also do whatever it takes to win their match. I hope Kozina just hammers him in the balls the whole match. It won't happen, but nevertheless I am kinda excited to see the match. I'm a sucker.

3. Main event is a 4 way which SHOULD be decent. Roderick Strong vs. Homicide vs. Generico vs. Jay Briscoe. The tasty juicy raspberries have put me in a super optimistic mood. Roddy does some amusing stalling to start. Jay looks far more menacing than Homicide, for the record. Generico hasn't been on TV for awhile. He and Jay kinda do-si-do with some wristlocks for awhile. They're really pacing this one to go long. Jay hits a great headscissors on a running Roderick. Generico and Homicide trade some arm drags...like for a minute. 5 minutes in and this thing feels like it's been on forever. The cameras can't cut quickly enough during Generico's punches. Must...eat more raspberries. Strong also decides to challenge the director by throwing many bad punches in a short amount of time. Where will the cameras cut to!? Homicide somehow throws even worse punches (what the FUCK happened to Homicide in the last year!?). His corner punches make Kofi Kingston snicker. Generico runs and and Homicide snaps out of it and punches him right in the face. FINALLY. Roddy is lying on the apron selling insane damage, but I seriously don't even remember him taking much offense. Briscoe bumps big into the corner off a suplex. Generico throws two of the lightest lariats I have seen. Good lord what is happening in this match. I swear I am not trying to be negative here. These guys are just moving in slow motion and trying not to break eggs here. Generico leans out of a superkick from Jay, then Jay gets tossed to the floor onto Homicide and Strong. Generico does a flip dive and manages to miss almost everybody. Not his fault. Bad catching job. Homicide was asleep at the wheel on that one. Homicide ranas Strong off the top. Generico slaps his thigh and Jay kindly decides to sell it. All 4 men are down selling the WAR they're in. J-Driller on Homicide. Generico brainbuster on Jay. Strong tags in and gets the pin.

Wow. That match was fucking horrible. In order of best to worst, I'd go Jay Briscoe, Roderick Strong, Homicide, Generico. Most of this match was just hot garbage. Everybody seemed just...off. Generico is fucking awful. His offense looks crummy and he always just seems out of position for things. Homicide had the Necro Butcher match a few months ago and literally everything else he's been involved with has been disappointing and bad. Strong looked good in moments, then lousy in others. Jay was consistently quality here.

But what a fucking disaster. It got 18+ minutes of time, and almost all 18 of it was one giant disjointed mess. It had minimal build throughout, bad execution, goofy selling...just crap.

It's for the best. When you're a kid, and your best friend is moving away, sometimes a few weeks before the move you might start arguing. Your friendship might dissolve over something silly. Subconsciously, you just don't want them to go, and you're trying to ease that pain by tricking yourself into hating that friend. "I don't care if he moves, he's being stupid anyway." It happens all throughout life. You get through tough breakups that way. If you miss the person, you find things you hate about them, you linger on those things. If you only lingered on the good things about some girl, you'll never get over her. It's torture. But it's how life works. People move on. Relationships end. You might not always want them to, but love is a two way street. If someone is further along then you, you just have to get over it at some point. There are other fish in the sea. Sometimes you don't realize how bad things had gotten until afterwards. It's easier to reflect. You realize you were disagreeing more, you used to be more attracted to her (and let's face it, your pants are fitting tighter too, buddy). She read Eat, Pray, Love and really identified with it. She really, really identified with the main character. She identified with an over-privileged white woman who whines a whole lot. Wow. How did you not see this sooner? She saw Sex & the City 2 in theaters? She sometimes uses the word "psychobabble" in regular sentences. Who the fuck is this person? There used to be things I loved about her, right? Have I changed? Has she changed? Have we both changed? Who am I?!

ROH has been doing a good job to make me not miss it. Everything I used to love about it is gone. I used to look forward to it, and we still have our moments. It's bittersweet. You see glimpses of why you used to love it, and it makes you miss the days that those moments happened constantly. It only magnifies how rare those moments now are.

People grow apart. People fall out of love. Not everything is supposed to last forever. You enjoy it while it's enjoyable, and you know when to cut and run. Nobody knows the right time to cut and run. You just ride every last enjoyable moment to the end and hope you aren't left too scarred afterwards.

You will love again.

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