AEW Five Fingers of Death 9/16 - 9/22

ROH 9/19/24

Dustin Rhodes/Sammy Guevara vs Alex Reynolds/Evil Uno

MD: This was a Proving Ground match and was touted to me as the Dark Order going full Larry stalling. And that's not quite what this is. When Larry stalled, it was to build up heat for the first bit of contact in the match, ramping up the pressure and getting under the skin of the fans. What people often don't understand about him, having just heard the stories or working off decades' old memories, was that when it was time for that first bit of contact, he was super high energy and paid off all the build. 

This was a different flavor to stalling. Here, it was about the Proving Ground time limit and all about the Dark Order running out the clock to get a title shot. That's the unique wrinkle of the ROH eliminators. I've seen a bunch of these in the last year or two and while there might be moments down a stretch where someone just tries to stay alive or even lock in a hold, I don't think I've seen one where the heels tried to avoid contact from the get go and do everything they could to just pass the time. Obviously that, too, gets under the skin of the fans because they want to see action, but in some ways it's better (in the eyes of the fans) and in some ways it's worse. It's more underhanded and craven since there's a goal behind it but it's also a little bit clever and purposeful as opposed to Zbyszko just being as obviously irritating as possible. In both cases, there's mind games at play too, so that bit's a wash.

To me, this isn't deconstructing pro wrestling but is instead leaning hard into the rules and the norms. It's not tearing it down but building on the inherent logic. I don't think you'd want to see it in every match but like I said, this was one of the first time I've seen it out of dozens and dozens. And it worked. It was different. It was interesting. It presented a unique challenge for Dustin and Sammy and they had to be as aggressive as possible just to force the Dark Order to engage. That in and of itself, opened them up to make mistakes and fall into traps, especially with Silver on the floor running (literal) interference. So when they did go over in the end, paying off a lot of the things that had been teased but denied due to the avoidance by the Dark Order (like the dives) and going deep with things like Dustin's very unexpected Shining Wizard, it meant all the more. Not only did they beat the Dark Order, but they also beat the passage of time as well. That was a good double triumph to set up the 6-on-2 beatdown to end the show. I still haven't seen that pristine and perfect stalling performance I want in 2024 where one gives one's self totally up to the spirit of it all, but this was an enjoyable TV match cousin to such a thing.

AEW Collision 9/21/24

Dustin Rhodes/Sammy Guevara vs Mike Bennett/Matt Taven (Bunkhouse Brawl)

MD: Everyone's focused on the blood and Taven's bumps into the chair, but there was some very smart stuff here. Taven and Bennett are from MA (though admittedly Boston, or, you know, Carver, and Springfield aren't exactly the same) so not only did Dustin and Sammy come out in the local hockey team's shirts (with new tandem music), but they were also in their street clothes while the Kingdom were in their wrestling gear. Somehow that made them seem less genuine and more heelish. 

The big thing, however, was that they made sure all of the tables and plunder was set up pre-match. This started the show (after whatever ROH matches they taped or dark matches they had) and they had the luxury of having everything ready. It meant that Dustin's dive off the stage through a table with his bulldog or Sammy's cutter out of nowhere through a table didn't need any set up. They were brisk and sudden and shocking. Then, during the commercial break when things calm down a bit as the TV format forces, they were able to set up another table or two. Barring having a Fonzie or Nana out there, this was a really effective way to prevent the match being a quarter setting things up. 

That made everything else easier. The heel transitions/cutoffs were good (Dustin getting reversed into his own set up in the corner, Sammy getting tagged by a chair on his dive, the double superkick as Dustin charged up the ramp with a taser). Likewise the comeback spots: Dustin's double groin claw, Sammy turning the Dirty Deeds into his GTH, worked just right. The high spots were memorable, those brutal landings on chairs, including Taven's after they hit the Doomsday Device over the top and he errantly landed on one on the ramp, Sammy going off the ladder. And all the weapons fit in, the chairs, the belt, the cowbell, the barbed wire Shattered Dreams. It was definitely a lot of stuff, but the Kingdom and Dustin knew what they were doing and Sammy added that extra bit of energy and panache. I'm not sure how this will stack up against everything else this year, but you can't say it's not another notch in the belt of Dustin and another great Fight Without Honor from the Kingdom.  

Darby Allin vs Evil Uno

MD: With Danielson at home selling the injury, there was definitely a worry of a sort of overwhelming NWO-esque doom and gloom with Mox and company. The combination of Yuta's very existence and the fire he's showing mid-way through his matches and Private Party foolishly but bravely standing up for themselves is pushing back against that, giving what Mox is doing the sort of traction to push off against that he himself is saying he's providing to Zay and Quen. Darby's front and center for Grand Slam, however, and while we've seen him act in contrast to Mox and physically stand up to him up til now, the backstage promo leading up to the Uno match and then the match itself took things to an entirely different level.

It's war. For this to work, it can't be Mox running through everyone as they try to act sportsmanlike. People can't just play the 1985 Jumbo card as Choshu came in infecting everyone and everything around him with violence. They have to be Tenryu and meet the violence head on. And Darby not only fought with that level of intensity here, but he also forced it out of Uno. Even if Darby manages to triumph over him and keep his title shot, Mox isn't just going away. You don't make a statement with a turn like that and just go back into the woodworks and have another fishing trip. The darkness is here to stay and the dark intensity and violent passion is the thing that can make AEW stand out. It's not the grisly excessiveness of Hangman vs Swerve from All Out, not every week, but it's a Hansen-ian impulse of wrestlers pushing each other to the absolute limit week in and week out. What that looks like, what those limits are, how it all plays out, the different mix of alchemy when you have fliers and technicians and brawlers, when you have luchadores and disciples of the territories and walkers of the King's Road all clashing against one another... well, that's what's going to make it interesting. 

And it was interesting here. Uno took every advantage, but more than that, he wrestled like a man infected, like a feral beast, throwing his hefty frame into Darby from every angle. He was an out of control locomotion. Sometimes it worked, sometimes he crashed and burned, but he kept coming. Darby, in turn, fought as he always did, but instead of just throwing his own body at Uno, he ripped at the mask and bit at the skull. There's so much interesting to be mined here. Just as Uno threw himself with wild abandon to rise to the level Darby inspired in him, Darby made his own potential mistake, choosing to use Moxley's bulldog choke to prove a point instead of something of his own that might have more easily won the day. You push people this far, and much like Darby's facepaint, you see all the skeletons in the closet of their soul. It's the most fascinating, most human element you can distill in pro wrestling.

There's a change in the air. You can all but taste it watching the show over the last few weeks. Something is lurking in the hearts of the combatants. Something is awakening within them. Jon Moxley opened Pandora's Box and if they can fully tap into this energy found within, maybe this company can find a comparative advantage that no one else can match. TK, if our old DVDVR decoder rings are still working and you're picking up on the signal, this is the noise. Play it loud, play it hard, embrace it. Ride the wave and it'll take us all as far as we can possibly go. 

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AEW Five Fingers of Death 8/19 - 8/25 Part 1

MD: No PR this week due to some power issues on the island. Good stuff coming though so stay tuned. Thought I'd get a jump on some AEW since there's a lot coming this weekend.

ROH TV 8/22/24

Dustin Rhodes/Marshall Von Erich/Ross Von Erich/Sammy Guevara vs Matt Bennett/Mike Taven/John Silver/Alex Reynolds

MD: If I was in the live crowd, this one would have baffled me a bit. This was taped before the tag title change on Collision so it followed most immediately from the high heat end to the last ROH show. It was a fun, quick-moving, high spirited celebratory match, anchored by a frenetic finishing stretch and from Dustin making the most (as he always does) of being face-in-peril. But in chronological filming order, it had to seem a little offputting to be just so over the top. The crowd had no way of knowing that the emotional beat in the middle would be the action (and interference) packed title change after all.

Watching it on TV, on the other hand, it worked very well for what it was trying to do. That meant the claws came early. It meant Sammy got to take someone's phone and film himself during the shine. It meant Bennett and Silver stooging all over the ring for Dustin. It meant some heel miscommunication before they settled in on the heat. I've said it before but pro wrestling isn't math. Except for sometimes the southern tag formula kind of is. You don't want a heel-in-peril scenario where the shine is way too long. You don't want everything to break down too early so people are rushing in and out for the last half of the match without any structure or trappings. The one thing that can rectify either problem and most other problems, is if you have a really dynamic heat section, even if short. A lot of times that's on the heel team; The Midnight Express could make so much out of just a few minutes, but having a great face-in-peril working from underneath works too and Dustin's the best in the world right now.

So when things did break down, it was ok. Having Silver/Reynolds in there to help direct traffic like the savants they are didn't hurt. Some of the Kingdom's stuff worked right into their wombo combo stuff and it just felt right. And then it all built to a really huge claw/over the shoulder powerslam move by Marshall that we don't actually see that often but that is very impressive. While the tag title match was really how the residency ended, this is our last look at it, and in both cases it ended up on an up note.

AEW Dynamite 8/21/24

Darby Allin/FTR vs The Young Bucks/Jack Perry

MD: I scooted through this quickly the first time and I wasn't going to go back for it; perfect excuse with all the wrestling going on. Hell, I could write about Jarrett vs Daivari or that Big Bill vs Hook match that sounds fascinating instead if I needed another match for a Part 1, right? I might still. But then ol' Joseph rated it 4 stars and I had to admit that I moved through it pretty quickly the first time and... well, let's give it another look.

I really enjoyed the way it stemmed from the Okada vs Claudio match. As I noted in my thoughts on the company the other day, Dynamite does have a tendency to move too quickly from one thing to the other and not let moments resonate. Excalibur is a master of "And now"-ing and "But whatabout"-ing. When it happens organically like this, in that old ECW way, it adds an air of both excitement and connectiveness. There are some tricky bits with that. What does FTR feel about Claudio, for instance? While I understand both the presence that allows for it and the utility of it, the BCC being so mutable is overall problematic. Yuta can't be a shitheel rat boy one day and working from underneath against Swerve sympathetically the next. He just can't. You end up, over time, with 60% gain that you'd otherwise get on both. 60% of Claudio is a lot still, but it's not 100% of Claudio and the company needs 100% of everything they can get. Last note: everyone got the message that if you're going to use time announcements, you have to do it more frequently both within a match and overall, right? No need to reiterate that, I hope. Consistency is everything in pro wrestling.

Ok, on to the actual match; enough stalling. Back to southern tags. This had a very short shine, but one with Darby flying out of the ring twice, heavy brawling, and the double Sharpshooter tease, followed by a great transition with the Doomsday Device kick. Then the heat was on Darby, where if Dustin's #1, Darby might be #2, so that helps. We haven't seen a ton of straight up tags with the Bucks and Perry (it felt like they established the Okada/Bucks combo better) so this felt fresh and dynamic, with a great hot tag and good rousing comeback by FTR.

After that, things broke down a little too early for my liking maybe, but this is a teaser for the weekend and they didn't have a few more minutes to loop into, let's say, a second heat segment on Dax. So it got the job done. Sometimes the job isn't to have the best match possible. Having the Elite try to pack their bags and go got over the bigger picture story better than leaning hard into pure quality for the sake of quality so good on them. Cash's dive was a hell of a thing. I like Dax, the way he thinks about wrestling, how hard he works. But as I think about the necessary moneyball replacement scenario for Bryan Danielson facing AEW in the future (and TK can do moneyball so long as he thinks about it that way), Cash is a guy that almost feels like the middle ground between Mox and Danielson in a way that even at 37 still seems untapped. The last thing he seems to want to do is wrestle singles matches, but in a post Danielson world, maybe people have to be made to stretch (they need to tap into the untapped). Anyway, I always love the Powerplex combined with whatever their partner has, and the Coffin Drop is a great choice there. So yes, this was effective, absolutely got the job done, and hit a lot of positive marks along the way.

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AEW Five Fingers of Death 8/12 - 8/18

Ring of Honor TV 8/15/24

Dustin Rhodes/Ross Von Erich/Marshall Von Erich vs Brian Cage/Kaun/Toa Liona

MD: Really fun studio wrestling. I have definitely loved the AEW ROH Studio tapings, both the first sets and these ones. It's a big dump of results that you know you're going to get. Here you didn't get results after the fact (less people sending them in relative to the Orlando regulars?). You got some of the match ups at least, but not even all, unless I was looking at the wrong places. So I knew this one was coming and I knew there's an 8 man next week, but I think I had the order a little confused. It's nice to be surprised now and again is what I'm saying, even if my natural inclination is to go out off my way not to be. 

This ended with a big heat mobbing beatdown angle in a way that you can only really do in a studio. First though, the match. The more I see them, the more I feel ok putting it down in writing. They're kind of sort of not the Von Erichs so much as they're the Fantastics; Marshall is Fulton, flashier, more charismatic, even if he has a bit of the size. Ross is Rogers, hitting stuff cleaner, a bit more workrate-y, a few more moves. Here that meant Marshall hit a slightly off dropkick, sure, but then worked well from underneath for a minute or two getting sympathy. He made a warm tag to Ross who hit some stuff clean (not a surprise), got the crowd fired up, and then carried the brunt of the actual heat after a smart sequence of first Cage and then Toa interfering from the outside. 

Kaun had carried most of that first bit, which made sense; he's not a small guy but his partners are bigger. After the double hip toss into a slam from the Gates, Cage and Toa leaned hard onto Ross. When Dustin finally did come in, everything broke down hard with each guy hitting a signature move. Dustin escaped a F5 from Cage (the second he went for as he had taken out a Von Erich first) and landed maybe the nicest set up destroyer you'll ever see. The physics somehow worked on it after he landed on his feet on his escape. Well, almost worked. It's a destroyer. Then as they were signaling for the triple claws (dubious if Dustin has mastered the technique), the Kingdom and Dark Order ran in, making it 7 on 3. Sammy, Angelico, Serpentico, and Fuego tried to make the save but the numbers were still against them and first the 6 of them and then security guards as well got absolutely demolished by the heels. I don't think they've run an angle like this since ROH came back and it came off like malicious chaos. You wouldn't want it every week but as a one time thing put some heat on the heels, it really worked; probably doubly so midway through a long taping where a lot of this would be paid off or paid forward throughout the day/night. Yeah, it's pro wrestling for pro wrestling's sake, but we all love pro wrestling. Pro wrestling is the point. 

Except for here, there was one extra point as well, because it led into...

AEW Collision 8/17/24

Dustin Rhodes/Sammy Guevara vs Matt Taven/Mike Bennett

MD: I liked the match. There was a nice bit with Bennett dodging Dustin's drop down punch early only for him to get both members of the Kingdom a moment later and Sammy dodging Bennett's apron recoil shot only for Taven to get him a moment later to start the heat. All of that was paid off by Dustin hitting the dropdown punch on Bennett after the hot tag. I could have done without Sammy kicking out of the proton pack clean (get a foot on a rope or have Dustin break it up). Otherwise, a nice tag in and of itself. 

That's not the main thing to talk about though. After Dustin and Sammy won, you had a few malcontents complaining that the titles had been sacrificed to this new team with an main roster regular and Dustin. This is a nice rehabilitation project for Sammy that should lead to good matches until they pull the trigger on a turn (if they pull a trigger on a turn; like I mentioned, Sammy's kind of Lugered, which is not good for a 31 year old). Dustin is the best in the world at fighting from underneath and as seen through the last few weeks of matches, is so inherently and outwardly good at so many elements of pacing, structure, placement, that everyone around him will be made better just by working with him. Sure, it made sense for the Texas Residency, but it also makes sense to keep him featured for the whole year leading up to something special at All In next year. 

Dustin in Ring of Honor feels fresh and I don't see any reason to pull back on it now. We've never seen what a Dustin Rhodes Pure Title Match would look like. Let's see him against Lee Moriarty. I have no idea what Dustin would do in Arena Mexico. Let's see him against Atlantis, Jr. There isn't a better person in the world to potentially be in a King of the Road 2024 match than the current world champion. Let's see him against Mark Briscoe. There's only so much time left to do these things. He's going to enhance the acts of every other member of the roster and potentially make them permanently better wrestlers. He has name value and star power and veteran presence. Use him now in strategic ways while you still can.

At times, the ROH titles serve the broader needs of the company, as they well should. Maybe that grated a little when the Mogul Embassy lost the titles after such a long reign with so many people put up against them (there was a real sense of "Who can beat them?" and then the answer was some top stars from the main roster to serve some other story), but the Kingdom had gone through every team in ROH, some twice. I like the Infantry as much as the next guy (Dean is perfectly solid and Bravo has something special waiting for the right presentation, I think; let's see him as a cocky heel), but they don't really need the belts to serve in their current role. 

This did serve a greater purpose, but not to advance a main roster storyline. The Texas Residency was a success. You got the sense that they were wrestling in front of the same fans week in and week out. Hologram was established. The longrunning ROH feud between Aminata/Velvet and Athena/Billie was paid off. Things were built for All In. And yes, the Von Erichs went from being guests to established players. That meant a celebratory moment at the PPV but also meant a grand finale fireworks spectacular here where, following from the big heat ending of ROH TV (recapped in full for those who had missed it), the rest of the Kingdom and Cage/Gates of Agony ran out only for the babyfaces to come out in force to counter. It created another crazy scene, this time in the match itself as opposed to after it, and gave the fans one last celebratory gesture before the residency ended. These fans deserved cake. Good for Khan to give it to them. Maybe it didn't need to be Sammy, but it did need to be Dustin. I don't think the Kingdom were more or less over for the titles. They're an established act looked upon at a certain level for good or ill. I do think it mattered to those fans in attendance that they got to see something so wild and got to celebrate something that even a month ago would have seemed an impossibility with Dustin. What are the point of the ROH Tag Titles if not to allow for moments like this? What's the point of wrestling if not to create this sort of emotion?

Now bring on Moriarty, Atlantis, and Briscoe. 

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2023 Ongoing MOTY List: Darby vs. Bennett

 

6. Darby Allin vs. Mike Bennett AEW Rampage 1/6/23

ER: Darby is such an excellent opponent for nearly any wrestler to paint a masterpiece. Mike Bennett is a wrestler who I like without also having much of an opinion on him either way. If I had been asked before this match what my favorite Mike Bennett memory was, I would say with no hesitation "his leather WWE ring jacket that had Maria and their baby airbrushed on the back". This is Valentine's Day. This is going to be the day I add a Mike Bennett match to a MOTY List. That perfect jacket and he/his wife's perfect WWE theme "True Love" are more highlights than many wrestlers I like. But those are things. That's me connecting to two things associated with Mike Bennett, not connecting with his wrestling. I don't think I've ever connected to Bennett in an actual wrestling match the way I did here. Part of that is due to Darby as an opponent, part of it is to Bennett going all out and taking a real fight to Darby. Importantly, this is not the kind of Darby match we've seen where he withstands a mad beating and body breaking bumps before eking out a win; it is a match where Darby withstands a mad beating and body breaking bumps while also going toe to toe with his opponent. 

I don't think I've written about a Mike Bennett match since ROH was airing on Destination America - a TV channel I am sure has not existed since 2015 - but this Mike Bennett is one worth writing about. Mike Bennett is great at being the larger man in a Darby Allin match (a role almost every Allin opponent is placed into) while making certain to work only so much larger. Bennett works this knowing he is larger and is almost surprised by Darby working as his equal. Several times in the match Darby catches him over and over with these awesome whipping punches, like the best version of Jeff Hardy's punches, thrown 3x the speed as Jeff's and able to land multiple times before Bennett realizes what is even happening to him. Darby, sitting on the top rope, starts whipping Bennett's face left and right and it's like it forces Bennett to start shoot punching him back. Later on when Bennett catches a kick, he stands there absorbing so many of these whipping punches that it's as if he's stunned by them, realizing they're happening but only realizing it after the seventh one lands. He finally just drops the leg but that leads to him immediately eating some of Darby's hardest elbows, and all the man can do is respond with chops thrown as if he was Drew McIntyre size and cut off more elbows with a single Kawada-like right hand. Darby's toughness seemed to inspire Bennett's stiffness, which inspired Darby's toughness. 

Both men got rocked onto their heels multiple times, and their execution and impact on everything was cleeeeean. Jaws rattled, Darby ploughing into Matt Taven at full speed with a low rope tope con giro, Bennett sacrificing both of their bodies with a side Russian legsweep off the apron, and of course Darby hitting a flat back missile dropkick from the top to the floor, Bennett prone in a folding chair, Darby knowing at best he is taking a 10 foot drop flat onto his back...I felt it all in HD. Every impact felt important. I loved the false finish bullshit to set up our real finish, involving Maria stalling the Coffin Drop by laying over Bennett so Taven could kick Darby off the top into a great Bennett piledriver. Two piledrivers on this Rampage that looked like finishers. Every finish to every Darby match is the best. He either dies biggest or crashes hardest and it always rules. Bennett gets greedy and wants the avalanche piledriver, but Darby turns that into an Avalanche Code Red, then finally hits that Coffin Drop as Tenryu hitting an elbowdrop. Crumbling Kingdoms, Wrecked Ribcages. 

2023 MOTY MASTER LIST

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AEW Five Fingers of Death 1/2 - 1/8

AEW Dynamite 1/4

Bryan Danielson vs. Tony Nese

MD: A lot of grumbling and backlash for this one when it was announced, and my big takeaway was that I wish it had gotten just another minute or two so that Danielson and Nese could really go. Nese is probably the most giving, selfless guy on the roster, someone who knows his job, knows his role, knows his skillset, that can go but that still wants to get under the skin of the fans instead of having them cheer for his exchanges. He's the guy on the roster most likely to get cake in his face or to be completely embarrassed by Orange Cassidy but he has just enough credibility through his stuff looking good, through having Woods at his side, and through the sheer cardio and shape he's in. Basically, he's everything I'd want a Seth Rollins type guy to be. That means he's a lower-midcarder who makes everyone around him look better, but I'm almost always glad to see him. It's just that we live in an upside down world where Seth Rollins is Seth Rollins and not Tony Nese. It's not Tony Nese's fault. It's the world that's backwards.

They were exceptionally careful about this. Nese used everything at his disposal from an early ambush while Danielson was basking in the crowd's reaction to having Sterling and Nese out there to get tiny bits of advantage. He could never press it because the idea here was to show Danielson as an absolute star. And he was, but what I'm going to remember most is Nese's missed knee in the corner, just how well he set it up, just how well he pinballed off, the action and the reaction. Ultimately, this match was the right match for the moment, something celebratory, something tangentially connected to MJF, something quick and clean, and high impact, that showcased Danielson in front of his home crowd to set up the gauntlet ahead of him and the lure of the PPV match stip. Still, I had assumed he had picked Nese because he wanted to have one or two cardio exchanges where he really pushed himself, and I'm a little sad we didn't quite get them here. It would be a hell of a Dark match at Universal with no stakes or story purpose if they ever wanted to do it again though.

Samoa Joe (c) vs. Darby Allin

MD: I don't think I liked this quite as much as the first match between them but that doesn't mean there wasn't a ton to love. Darby's matches almost always start in some interesting way. Here it was Joe going after Nick Wayne just because he could (he's the King of TV after all) and Darby making him pay for it, then capitalizing on that advantage before the bell rang with some well-deserved revenge with the skateboard and a huge dive off a ladder. Joe's up there with Yokozuna and Abby as someone who can believably cut anyone off at any moment though. Here he caught Darby (who had maybe messed up his leg on the dive) off the apron and just crushed him on the stairs. This started a pretty awesome Joe control bit through the commercial break where he pinballed off the post again and jawed with the crowd. Between the size differential and the leg, Joe was able to just squash Darby, blocking his attempts to recover. You have to appreciate Joe's expressiveness here, just how deeply he was into every moment. He was absolutely living the character, smug, bemused, believing in himself entirely and looking down on everything and everyone around him. Great finishing stretch here, with Sting's pep talk driving Darby to Sting up, Joe putting forth amazingly portrayed struggle in not trying to get pulled out of the corner (causing the turnbuckle cover to go flying) and the two of them somehow making the code red believable before the finish. I almost would have had Darby hit the drop from all four corners just to put a sort of Warrior vs Macho Man exclamation point on things, but you can't argue with the hometown pop at the end.

AEW Rampage 1/6

Bryan Danielson/Jon Moxley vs. Top Flight

MD: It's since come out in interviews that the entire idea behind the BCC was to give young guys top guys to work. Regal has his own way to explain it but the others explained it more like Tsuruta-gun vs. the Super Generation Army. We did see a little bit of that at first, with Yuta and with a tag or six-man here or there but eventually, it all got subsumed into the JAS feud and it went away. This is it back and as clear as day.

That meant, as opposed to the Claudio tag from a week or two ago, that the BCC pressed and pressed and pressed and pressed. They pushed the Martins to their absolute limit and every glimpse of hope, every bit of offense, felt entirely earned and like a small victory in and of itself. This felt a lot more like one of those AJPW tags, where Top Flight might be able to force a tag, get a shot or two in, but then would get shut down immediately. A tag didn't, in and of itself, represent a shift in momentum. Quite the opposite as the damage had been done to the guy tagging out and it was still two-on-one until he recovered. In fact, some of the most hope Top Flight had was when Darius tagged while he was still more or less on the floor outside. They capitalized on his positioning as best as they could but it never lasted long. The BCC were just too much. That was the point as it made every iota of Top Flight's fight all the more valiant for the impossible odds. It's been a while since Mox and Danielson were able to have a straight up tag and they had some tandem stuff that was on the backburner for quite a while and that made the task even more impossible for Top Flight.

The Dante vs. Danielson bits were shiny and flashy and made me want to see a singles match. Darius balanced exhaustion and fire well when he did get something of a comeback, but he still has to find his own niche; it's never going to benefit him to be compared to Dante if they're doing very similar things. This was brutal in the best way and it kind of makes me hope for them to run it back again with Mox and Yuta where they can get some some revenge on Moxley.

Darby Allin vs. Mike Bennett

MD: Credit to Bennett here for being a good hand. He took most of the match but the only things I remembered after a first watch was Darby's finishing shots: the dropkick onto the chair on the outside that you know Bennett insisted on taking, as opposed the usual Darby wipe out bump; the bit where Maria laid on top of him and Darby was going to jump anyway; the code red off the top. Maybe that super slick kick out of the leg right into the grounded hammerlock too. And Bennett held up his end on keeping heat, even if the fans were going to chant Boston Sucks and You Still Suck instead of Bennett Sucks, alongside Let's Go Darby and just Darby's name. To his credit, they weren't chanting about Maria. I thought his cut offs were particularly good though I have to admit that his offense in general, while it all looked solid and gave Darby things to work with, was definitely all over the place. He did just enough focusing on a leg or an arm to establish that there was something there but not enough for it actually to be a meaningful story beat. It distracted instead of resonated. This is one where maybe Darby should have either taken just a bit more of it and flex his muscles as a champion once again or at least had Maria and Taven give him a bit more trouble to help protect him. I will say that Bennett came out of this looking better than he came in, even despite the most memorable moments being him getting his comeuppance.

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Ring of Honor on Destination America 11/18/15 Review

1. Silas Young & Beer City Bruiser vs. War Machine

So now instead of overtly passionate men now we just get jokey segments with Young teaching the Boys about being men. It's all still clearly gay, I mean it is at a highway rest stop, but now it's getting too winky and hokey. This basically felt like Slick teaching Kamala how to bowl. But the match was real good so *shrug*. We get a lot of meaty bodies crashing into each other and War Machine actually felt like hosses instead of the usual hoss cosplay (hossplay?) that especially Hanson comes off as. I loved the early shoulderblock exchanges with Hanson eventually sending Bruiser flying, we got avalanches, cannonballs, big splashes, the kind of stuff you'd want. Rowe kinda whiffs on a superman punch but makes up for it later in the match. I dug Beer City Bruiser here, he really dumped himself on suplexes a couple times, hit a big frog splash, a wild cannonball off the apron into The Boys, and yeh this was good.

Steve Corino gets in the ring with Nigel wanting to reinstate him, but Corino talks about how 79 tours of Japan (but who's counting!) have left his body broken, and he needs serious neck surgery so will not be able to wrestle. He really should have thought about that before working so many non-ROH indies this year.

2. Michael Elgin vs. Kevin Lee Davidson

Booooooooo. Davidson is a big lumpy fat guy who I immediately get excited to see, and the match ends after one okayish clothesline. Elgin as HHH is tired.

3. The Addiction vs. The Kingdom

This match can kind of be summed up by one Daniels missed corner charge. Daniels threw Taven into the buckles, watched as Taven stopped himself by kicking his legs up and back. We see Daniels watching Taven, waiting for the right moment to run underneath him while not getting kicked in the face, because that's how the spot goes. So Daniels watches Taven kick up and over, runs towards the buckles and ducks WAY low to avoid Taven kicking him in the face, and then, when arriving into the turnbuckles, he stops and confusedly looks around, flabbergasted how he ended up chest first in the buckles instead of bumping dicks with Matt Taven, or whatever move he was pretending to do while just running towards the turnbuckles. Dur durdur where did he go General Daniels?? You threw him into the buckles, but when you arrived in the buckles seconds later, he was gone! Look around some more, did he sneak past the ring pole? You watched him not hit the buckles, you ducked really low to run underneath his body, but then his body was not in front of you! That body that you just ran underneath!

We got all four guys realllllly showing off their comedy chops in this one. It was terrible. Tons of yuks. Daniels looked so bad. The guy telegraphs everything to an insane degree. We got a dive train spot where nobody knew how to catch anybody else. Ref bump. Comedy spots. Contrived double teams. A real triple threat!

And to think, I won't even get the privilege of watching this on television in a couple weeks.

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Ring of Honor on Destination America Review 9/16/15

1. House of Truth (Dijak & Diesel) vs. reDRagon

Kevin Kelly puts over J. Diesel's "golden gloves background" as he's doing a dorky jerkoff screaming forearms in the middle of the ring exchange. He would be much more interesting if he actually attempted to use this background, instead of jacking off in tribute to Japan. It's like facing Mecca while you pray. You have to face east while doing jackoff forearm exchanges. Overall this was a pretty fun match. Fish - the guy I like the most out of these four - was kinda off the whole time, worked pretty sloppy. But Dijak? This was the best I've seen Dijak look. First part of the match was him tossing Fish and O'Reilly around, including dumping Fish with a cool back breaker into just hurling him over the top to the floor. All of the stuff Dijak was involved with was fun, loved him getting chopped down by reDRagon's leg kicks. Fish caps off his match long sloppy run by landing on Diesel's face while doing a samoan drop, busting his nose open. Still, fun overall match. Lethal was loud and grating on commentary. He just shouted so much.

We get an Epic Brisco Bros. promo to hype up their PPV match against mystery opponents. These guys are the best. "Let me take it for a bit Jay". Talking about how they can be scouted, but Briscos can't scout them because they don't know who they are, and how the Briscos gameplan is just going to be to punch them in the face. Their chemistry and interplay and style is perfect.

2. Cedric Alexander vs. Dalton Castle

Oh man, Silas Young on commentary is talking about how he's going to make Castle's boys into men. "Oh I got a lot of things to do to these boys, coming out here with their greased up bodies". THESE GUYS ARE GOING TO FUUUUUUUCK and it's going to be glorious. The fans want it soooo bad and they hate how good it makes them feel. "These boys need to be taught how to be men." Young is actually talking about teaching them how to properly urinate. Match is fast paced and fun but I was admittedly distracted by Young's wanton desire on commentary. Castle's delayed German always looks killer, also liked his spin around rana from the apron. Veda Scott knows how to work a crowd, and I really liked the timing on the one spot where Cedric hides behind her, and she ducks just in time for Cedric to punch Castle over her. I'm normally not a fan of "opponent distracted, gets rolled up" finishes, but Cedric did one of the best roll ups I've ever seen here and leveraged all of his weight on Castle. It really looked like a pin that would be impossible to kick out of, so it totally worked. Fun stuff.

3. The Kingdom vs. War Machine

Another fun match. Seems like if they keep these things under 10 minutes then nobody gets stretched out beyond their worth. Most in the fed can fill an 8 minute match without making too many logic gaps. I think the more time Hanson gets the more he does stupid cartwheels and the longer matches go the more likely Taven is to do really bad flying offense that misses by a mile. But this is to the point, plays to everybody's strengths, and totally works. Rowe is clearly the better member of War Machine and he does some cool stuff here. The best was his running double knees with Bennett bumping hard into the buckles. Taven doesn't mess himself here, Hanson actually works like a big hoss instead of a large fat Kofi Kingston. This is a War Machine I could get comfortable enjoying.

And then we get a Dalton Castle promo talking about celebrating his victory by having quiche and mimosas.


Overall this was probably my favorite episode of ROH TV since they've started on DA. The matches didn't expose anybody and in fact played up a lot of strengths, and adding a Briscos promo will liven up any situation. More of this stuff, ROH.

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ROH on Destination America 8/12/15 Review

1. Watanabe vs. ACH

"My god how long will Watanabe be on this side of the pond!?" That was the thought that I thought, although perhaps my thoughts were more vulgar and disappointed. Watanabe has been horrible in his ROH appearances. He gets tons of chants because...I guess his Japanese birth gives him workrate credibility? It certainly can't be because they enjoy his matches. But you know? This match was a ton of fun. Watanabe did not look great, but he hung in there, and ACH was fucking killer. We had an extended dumb "HIT MY CHEST" spot, and Watanabe's chops looked and sounded dull, but ACH pretended they were very painful, and then made up for Watanabe's by throwing thunderous ones of his own. ACH dug down deep in this one and drug Watanabe's ass through all of this, breaking out wild shit like a no hands twisting moonsault to the floor, and massive (and well timed) penalty kick on the apron, and then being a generous and giving partner by taking a nasty flip over German on the floor, and a stupid fisherman buster. ACH hits an impossibly snug 450 to end it. So, we had a bunch of nonsensical tide turns, with both guys trading off without much thought to it making sense; but shit looked good, and my eyeballs loved it much more than I would have expected when Watanabe walked through the curtain.

2. J. Diesel & Donovan Dijak vs. War Machine

I know wrestling is wrestling is wrestling and all, but ROH actually bills J. Diesel as 5'10". So...that would make Truth Martini about 6'2" and Dijak like 7'6", with War Machine being around 7' each? Look, I get it wrestling. But even 5'8" is a MASSIVE stretch for Diesel. You can pause at any time and see Diesel comes up to Martini's nose. And a couple weeks ago Martini was clearly smaller than ODB. Also apparently War Machine only outweighs them by 20 total pounds. I'm....having a hard time believing any of this. I still like Diesel even though LIES, and my favorite part of this was probably the early corner punch exchange between he and Rowe. I loved Diesel's big right to the chin. Hanson's offense really annoys me, with the cartwheel being the shitty tasting icing. His clubbing shots to the chest are so wimpy. I am not much looking forward to a Lethal/Hanson singles.

I think I would have more interest in a Corino/Whitmer match if I had never seen a moment of the build up. If I just saw it on paper I would probably go "oh I could see that being good". But seeing how bad Corino has been in almost every second of these segments is just sapping any interest. Whitmer has been surprisingly good at goading him, yet Corino flubs almost every single reaction.

3. The Kingdom (Michael Bennett & Matt Taven) vs. reDRagon (Bobby Fish & Kyle O'Reilly)

This started out pretty dodgy and it's badness kinda peaked when Taven whiffed a flying kick by a couple of feet, O'Reilly sold it anyway and Kelly yelled "Nailed it!!" Then Taven slightly crazes a swanton. Things were looking bad. BUT, the home stretch picked up nicely. O'Reilly's strike combos actually looked nice, and I loved when O'Reilly was going for some sort of rebound lariat and Bennett super kicked him from the floor. It was timed great, I didn't see it coming, and then a piledriver laid him out for the rest of the match. Awesome spot. Bennett throws some nice elbows, Taven wasn't entirely miserable after his peak level of being miserable, Fish generously sold a flimsy indecisive spear from Bennett and the Hail Mary never really looks that great as Taven always pusses out of the spike part of the piledriver, but the piledriver part always looks nice. A good home stretch can really save a match, and hey, this episode wasn't half bad! The last couple weeks have been full bad! This was very much not bad at all.

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Ring of Honor on Destination America 7/29/15 Review

So last week was a real dud of an episode. Let's hope for a wee bit better show this week? I already had a laptop blow up, fiscal year end kicked my butt, and I need a good show here.

1. The Kingdom (Mike Bennett & Matt Taven) vs. Corey Hollis & Jonathan Gresham

This was a decent enough extended squash, got over the Kingdom as it intended. Gresham took some nice bumps into the railing, and man is he tiny. I kind of hate how Hollis bumps. I had never seen him before. I'm okay with that. We go through a long awful stretch where Bennett is repeatedly duped by Gresham essentially running back and forth in the ring. Taven on one side, Bennett on the other, Gresham running between them and getting grabbed by Taven, then slipping out with Bennett chasing him back and forth. It looked terrible, just an awful run of cat and mouse. They did it so much it looked like the moment when you noticed HHH set up every single one of his moves with an Irish whip. But, that was just the middle. It was fine. Not fine to the literal dictionary definition; but fine, as it's most commonly used. Which is to say, it was okay.

Destination America regularly pushes a show called "Killing Bigfoot" which...I gotta say I do not understand. Destination America has (no less than) 9 shows dedicated to Bigfoot. A cursory check of some well known science journals confirms that as of this writing we have still discovered zero Bigfoots. But apparently there is an entire show dedicated to killing a Bigfoot. I am looking forward to watching other Destination America programs like "Sanding Down Unicorn Horns" or "Shitting Down the Long Neck of Loch Ness".

2. Caprice Coleman vs. Brutal Bob Evans vs. Silas Young vs. Cheeseburger vs. Moose vs. Dalton Castle

God hearing Kevin Kelly try to explain Silas Young's gimmick is the worst. "He's in a baaaad mood...and...he's angry...and he thinks people like Dalton Castle are what's WRONG with society." Really? That's what you got? This wasn't that good, but really who was expecting it to be with these participants. I liked some of Castle's cut off spots. Coleman had some nice moments like a weird little moonsault to the floor that Bob and Cheeseburger whiffed on catching. Moose is one of those guys like Uhaa Nation who is a large impressive black man who has improbably soft offense. His little flipping spear looks so super gentle (and really to use that as the finish directly after Mike Bennett used his spear to set up the finish, come on). Highlight was pretty easily Castle hitting his hardway German on Moose, really slooooowly lifting him up and over. Really impressive spot. Cheeseburger continued his run of terrible by being way late for a pinfall break-up, so Sinclair had to stop the count for no reason before the 3. Evans had his feet on the ropes, but Cheeseburger was clearly supposed to break up the pin. He was way late, Sinclair just stopped counting the pin. And it was immediately before the finish. Tough spot for Sinclair to be in, and after he tried pretending like he had seen Evans' feet on the ropes, but he clearly stopped while still looking down. Yuck.

Corino and Kelly are so bad during these Whitmer segments. I don't know what they think they're going for when they do reactions shots, but they're failing. Kelly is sub-Tenay when it comes to expressing realistic outrage, and Corino does some sort of weird fake cry/trying not to laugh face.

3. ACH vs. Bobby Fish

Hey this was fun, and pretty easily the best match on a show with zero competition for that title. ACH's apron kick looked great and his handspring moonsault was crazy, also liked a couple of his kicks to Fish's calf. End got a little sloppy with kicks landing when they were supposed to miss and then subsequently not sold because they were supposed to miss, and things getting overall way too cooperative. But, I like Fish and ACH has some fun athletic spots, and for a short little TV match this was much more of what I was hoping for.

Better show than last week, but it would have to be historically bad for that to not be the case.

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Ring of Honor on Destination America 7/8/15 Review

1. Watanabe vs. Dalton Castle

Good god why is Watanabe on TV so much!? I mean this guy just brings nothing to the table. I take that back, he had a nice little side thrust headbutt here. But the rest of the time he works real loose (his stomach kicks are so so bad) and works real slow. There's just so much down time in Watanabe matches. Castle looked better (not surprisingly) in his match against Liger, but he gamely tries to make Watanabe's offense look somewhat painful here. We have to sit through an interminable small package reversal sequence where they roll unconvincingly around the ring, the ref occasionally counting pinfalls even though shoulders were never touching mat. But Castle does hit a sick deadlift German, and I am a total sucker for a great deadlift German suplex. Castle's looked killer, really hanging Watanabe there like a pendulum before beginning that ascent. Highlight of the match. Although after the the match was over, Castle lies down on a man bench consisting of his two eunuchs. THAT is awesome.

Long Truth Martini promo with Jay Lethal. The fans cloyingly chant "You deserve it!" at Lethal. Yuck. Is there anybody in the fed that the fans REALLY dislike? Or even sorta dislike? Everybody gets chants. Everybody is awesome. Watanabe gets chants, presumably because he wrestled in New Japan. Who is an actual heel here? This whole interview all builds to whether he plans on vacating the TV title or if he plans on defending both titles on shows in separate matches. It's weird as he talks about valiantly defending both titles because he's a fighting champion, but also telling the fans to shut up. So he's a valiant heel? A bad guy who does heroic things? He also says the phrase "snowball effect" but it sounds like "snuggle effect". I wanna know what the snuggle effect is!! An overdose of coziness!!

2. Adam Cole, Michael Bennett & Matt Taven vs. Michael Elgin & reDRagon

"Elgin looks like he's having fun again in the ring". Man Corino and Kelly are BAD. You should have heard the way Corino said Elgin is "having fun". It's not like he finished rampaging through the other team and then Corino shouted "Elgin's having fun in there!!!" He said it more like two mothers talking about the daughter of another mother, who had recently had her stomach pumped because she took too many pills. And she had been volunteer assistant coaching the local high school's girl's lacrosse team and these two moms sitting at one of their respective dining room tables goes "You know Jessica's really having fun again! She lost her smile there for awhile but you should see her with these girls! She's really having fun again. Bless her heart." Neither of them think Jessica is actually okay. They just wanted to gossip about her without sounding like gossips.

And this match is just kind of maddeningly bad. Really bad in an in your face kind of way. This is about 20 minutes of Elgin doing tons of offense and big moves to the opposing three guys, and then kicking out of everything they throw at him. reDRagon are very much afterthoughts in this save for one section in the middle, the rest is ALL Elgin working a 2003 HHH routine and just being the ultra mega super man. This whole match was just set up as a Michael Elgin spot exhibition. This same crowd who was cheering and chanting wildly for WATANABE of all people actually chant "This match sucks". And it was moments after Kelly and Corino were talking about what a tremendous main event we were witnessing. A lot of guys in this didn't look good. Matt Taven is the master of missing offense that never would have hit, just to set up an opponent's offense. Here he did an axe handle off the top rope that landed him nowhere near anybody, just to get kicked by O'Reilly. I did like Taven setting up a boot choke in the corner by yelling "Stacy Keibler!!" before choking a guy out with one of his long gams. O'Reilly himself regularly looks lousy, with poor strikes (his running body kick in the corner looked especially terrible) and then just looking really awkward getting into position for thing. Him setting up a Fujiwara armbar variation took longer to apply than Undertaker's old Devil's Butthole or whatever UT's submission was called. Fish looked good in his couple brief moments, dug his nice slingshot senton over the turnbuckles. We do get a couple fun dives, we get Elgin powerbombing Taven onto everybody over the top to the floor, and we got Elgin running through every single piece of offense that he's ever seen anybody do ever. Elgin throws nice elbows. He can throw a nice clothesline. His power offense looks good. But holy shit. The layout of this match was just...stunning.

But we get a Mark Briscoe match next week, so yay.

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Ring of Honor on Destination America 6/10/15 Review

Actually liked the Kazarian/Daniels promo to start this, and "Hey I liked that Christopher Daniels promo!" doesn't feel like something I've said a whole bunch in my adult life.

1. The Addiction (Christopher Daniels & Frankie Kazarian) vs. Kyle O'Reilly

This was supposed to be reDRagon (also, I don't understand the name. Pointless capitalization? Meaning I'm missing? Accidentally misspelled when it got back from the printers, so they just ran with it?) but Bobby Fish is on injured reserve, so O'Reilly takes them on solo. Match only goes about 4 minutes and is actually pretty fun, almost entirely because of Kazarian/Daniels. O'Reilly looked awful and nothing about his flimsy offense looked like it would keep two guys at bay. But Kazarian and Daniels bump and do pratfalls like crazy for him and somehow make a lot of it look plausible. O'Reilly throws these embarrassing hockey punches on Daniels (at least I think that's what those were supposed to be...whatever they were they were hilarious) and throws really bad regular punches where he kind of aims somewhere over his opponent's head. But Kazarian/Daniels bump for his stuff, fly into guardrails really tough, even set up for a wild O'Reilly dropkick off the apron into both of them, who had been placed improbably in a chair. Eventually Daniels hits him with the belt and the match is thrown out, but this was probably better than it should have been when you factor in the participants, and that it was a handicap match.

2. Dalton Castle vs. Jushin Liger

Well this was fun! I have never seen Castle before, and he's like a cross between Michael York, Cassandro, John Tatum and Blake from Workaholics. He has a couple of eunuchs with him who fan him with peacock feathers, even has sparkly tights (under his awesome glittery Bowie jumper/cape) with a glittery peacock feather on them. The dude has got the look. His work was good too as he bumped all over for Liger (loved his big bump off the apron from a Liger chop, and the way he took the finishing brainbuster and sold it after was great). Liger dogged it a little bit, had some lazy little palm strikes a couple times that looked like a kitten batting at yarn, but he flew into Castle's knees off a splash, threw some nice suplexes and jeez the guy is 50 and certainly works more athletically than most other guys who are 50. My dad already hated going on walks when he was 50. Castle knew how to stooge for him, this was plenty enjoyable.

3. Brutal Bob Evans vs. Cheeseburger

Bob Evans looks like a David Koechner character; or, a line cook at an actual Bob Evans. He does not look like somebody who should be wrestling on a nationally broadcast wrestling program. Yet he comes off as more of a wrestler than Cheeseburger, who seems like a guy who used to populate opening matches of IWA-MS shows because he sold enough tickets to earn a spot on the card. Nothing he does looks very good. He tries a springboard knee that whiffs by a couple feet, looks scared to go fullspeed into a turnbuckle or even the ring ropes (noticeably slowing way down before hitting the ropes or the turnbuckle), throwing lousy strikes, just looking like a guy who is only given a job because he was promised one after completing training. Bob throws some light punches himself although they are close to being salvageable. Something tells me at the age of 42 he won't be working too hard to improve them. He hits a nice enough shoulderblock and I did really like the sideslam off the apron through a table. I didn't see that coming so the surprise was nice. But man these are two guys who should not be featured on TV.

4. The Kingdom (Michael Bennett & Matt Taven) vs. Doc Gallows & Karl Anderson

Oh, god I have to watch Red Shoes on the program too? Cahmannnn. I was hoping I'd get to see him working his Billy Crystal routine with multiple televised feds. Bullet Club seems to be all the rage amongst live wrestling crowds these days. Lots of BC shirts and whatnot. I don't get it myself. Bullet Club matches usually just mean a bunch of poorly executed interference and matches that would have been better if there wasn't interference. Maybe it's just a cool logo that white guys like to wear? I had not seen Taven before this. I do not want to see Taven after this. Man he looked bad. Taven, Cheeseburger, Will Ferrara...are these the kind of guys the ROH school is churning out?? Good lord. Taven undershot every moved he tried by a few feet, peaking with him going for a moonsault to the floor and landing about 6 feet short, so that Gallows had to sprint several steps just to get grazed. Earlier he got caught with a Gun Stun leaping off the top to the floor, but to make it work required him to land - again - about 6 feet short of his target. Dumb spot. Bennett and Anderson throw some unconvincing Frye/Takayama stuff, shove Red Shoes a bunch, Red Shoes works his schtick where he doesn't actually do anything worthwhile as a kayfabe ref, and instead focuses far more on mugging. Gallows looked fine, Anderson tends to look better in a NJPW setting, Bennett looked good enough, Taven dragged the rest down. Match couldn't have gone more than 5 minutes before the non-finish.

Well, I really liked Castle/Liger, and the rest of the show was...well, not as bad as last week. So that's some progress. They still threw us a couple Brisco promos which are always a great thing. The promos from everybody are actually a far stronger part of the show than the wrestling has been. Eh, where do I have to go on Wednesdays? I'll keep checking it out.

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ROH TV Workrate Report: 3/14/11

So this might be it. I went to DVR next week's ROH TV and it was not scheduled. Maybe it's taking a short break for March Madness? Maybe this is done. I'll write this report as if it were the last time I was watching ROH on my TV.

Bravado Brothers promo to start!! Oh...it's the same promo from like 2 months ago.

1. Bravado Brothers vs. Grizzly Redwood/Bobby Dempsey to start! We don't get to see these guys that often, so I'd rather have this on my TV than one last Chris Daniels match. Dempsey has the most unfortunate fat face. He looks like a bad present-day Artie Lange. Dempsey hits a great headbutt and tags in Grizzly. I'm not sure which Bravado is which. I think Harlem has the straight hair, and Lance has the curly hair. Grizzly gets thrown around really nicely, and Lance has a nice forearm shot. Harlem works a bearhug on Grizzly, and it's a little disappointing that Grizzly doesn't have a bearhug in his arsenal. Call it the Haggerty Hold. I dig Dempsey's one-armed singlet. His hair is a disappointment to fatties everywhere. It would work if he was a heel. Bravados pull out their San Diego Chicken offense and do a crossbody to Dempsey while the other is on all fours behind him, sending Bobby tumbling to defeat. Well that was fun and at 5 minutes didn't have time to lag. I'm gonna miss you guys.

TPT Finals tonight!

2. Pancration Rules Match! KO, subs only, no closed fists to the head, no hitting the back of the head, no knees on the ground, ropes in play.....Davey Richards vs. Tony Kozina! OK, for someone who has not liked a Davey match in 3+ years, this match sounds kinda cool on paper. I dig Kozina, and the confined rules might keep Davey from getting too shitty. It starts with them circling each other like RINGS fighters, open hand slaps and leg kicks. Davey knocks Tony down with a high kick and maneuvers into a guillotine, but Tony rolls out and both get back to their feet. Tony takes 2 kicks to the elbow and sells it real nice. Both throw knees from the clinch and the struggle within the clinch looks good. Tony gets leverage and dumps Davey on his head. Davey up and goes for a desperation takedown, and runs right into a knee from Tony. Davey turtles up and Tony blasts him with strikes on the ground before getting a rear naked choke. Davey fights up and reverses into mount and then foolishly goes for an ankle lock. What is this Davey, 1992? Tony gets the ropes and Davey kicks him in the same elbow again, then kicks him in the face. Kozina gets hit with a running knee and after some palm strikes on the ground, the ref calls it off. Best Davey match you will see. It was 5 minutes, cool action, and it took away all his stupid handsprings and fighting spirit. Davey doing faux-MMA is so much better than Davey doing pro wrestling.

Embassy is out, with no Necro. He has Princess Mia, Ernesto Osiris, and a guy in a green blazer/turtleneck combo (like Carl Sagan!!). I always like Nana on the stick. Nana introduces the newest Embassy member and it is......

Tomasso Ciampa? Cannot say I'm familiar. He is ambiguously brown and has a mohawk.

3. Tomasso Ciampa vs. Mike Sydal. Sydal you know because he has maybe the worst tattoos in wrestling, and you know the ground that covers? Mia gets shots in on Sydal and throws a nice superkick, especially for someone wearing a dress. Sydal has really lousy kicks and elbows. They are so light and fluffy and painless. Ciampa agrees as he is not hurt and blasts Sydal with a clothesline. Then does a completely preposterous but fun powerbomb into backcracker. You can't do it on an opponent over 130 lb., but it looks cool so who cares.

4. And now we got the finals of the TPT'11, Kyle O'Reilly vs. Mike Bennett. Crowd is amped for Kyle. They SMELL the upset. I am nervous as there are still 25 minutes left in the episode and that seems like a looooong time for them. We start the match as 80% of ROH matches start: headlock takeovers, rope running, some shoulderblocks...then we cut to Corino impressed with the match, talking to nobody in particular. "Yeah. Good, good. Wow, that was nice." Bennett gets knocked to the floor and then gets thrown into the rail. He plows into that rail as if he were applying for a gig in NOAH. O'Reilly again does his awesome dropkick from the apron through his opponent, and it looks even more impressive here as the guardrail comes unlatched and it looks like he kicked Bennett so hard that he flew into the rail and broke the rail apart. Stuff happens as I type that, and Bennett gains control with a DDT on the entrance ramp, which O'Reilly takes at a real awkward angle. Kyle gets back into the ring at the 19 count, doing an admirable stumble sell to make it back in. Bennett, instead of capitalizing on his stumbling opponent, goes for a resthold, which O'Reilly eventually backdrops out of. Bennett is selling major fatigue for some reason. I predict Kyle will take the next 6 minutes, and Bennett will hit his finisher to win. Nevermind, Bennett hits a decent spinebuster. O'Reilly gets some kicks, and a missle dropkick gets two. Ewwwwww then we go into a real ugly "MMA" sequence where O'Reilly takes a month and fumbles around before getting Bennett into a sloppy triangle that would impress NO one. O'Reilly transitions into a guillotine and Bennett powers up and hits his finisher. Well this match peaked during the big dropkick and DDT on the floor. O'Reilly did a real good stumble back to the ring and acted concussed, but back in the ring it was business as usual and it didn't have too much heat from there.

Bennett has words with Corino afterwards, making fun of all his crummy advice he gave to the losers of the tournament. It takes approximately 30 slow minutes to build to Bennett punching Corino, and when it finally happens it's just not worth it at all. Murdoch punching Dibiase this was not.

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ROH TV Workrate Report: 3/7/11

I read that there are only like 4 or 5 more episodes of ROH on HD Net, so I will possibly need another weekly show to review. Thoughts, anybody? Superstars? CMLL on LATV? AAA? I am open to suggestions.

1. Michael Elgin vs. Kyle O'Reilly in a SEMI-FINAL bout of the TPT! This could be a fun one. Big biel by Elgin (Biel? Beal? Beele? What is correct?) O'Reilly ducks some Martini interference and throws a nice elbow, but then Elgin shoulderblocks him HUGE right out of the air off a springboard dropkick! YES! O'Reilly recovers and gets a rolling armbar, but Elgin powers up and hits a fallaway slam!! We go into a strike exchange and Elgin seems to be holding back a bit but leans way into a nice dropkick. O'Reilly does some tumbling exercises and then hits a nice kick combo, but it doesn't damage Elgin too much. They battle out on the apron, exchanging yakuza kicks, an then Kyle climbs to the 2nd rope (Elgin still on the apron) and ranas Elgin to the floor, and Elgin spills out spectacularly. Definitely worthy of the replay. Elgin staggers into the corner of the guardrail, and O'Reilly does a MASSIVE running dropkick off the apron and just PLANTING his feet into Elgin's stomach. Elgin was stuck in the corner and O'Reilly really just went crashing through him. That was fucking killer. This match is fucking awesome so far. Back in the ring and O'Reilly hits a big missle dropkick. Elgin up and throwing some big whiffing Leonard Garcia haymakers, but then catches Kyle with an exploder and a spinebuster. Elgin goes for a clothesline, but O'Reilly kicks his arm, so Elgin wheels around and uses the other arm to level him with a MASSIVE clothesline (O'Reilly ragdolled and flipped all over onto his dome and is making me fall in love with him). I thought that was 3 so I completely BUY THE NEARFALL!! Elgin lifts him for another slam and O'Reilly reverses into a tornado DDT and Elgin PLANTS his head directly into the mat. Using the available keys on my keyboard, he took that DDT at a nasty 45 degree angle, like this --> /. He's the forward slash there. I BUY THE NEARFALL AGAIN and this match is all movezy and I'm loving it! Now Elgin is bringing the stiff elbows and back elbows and hits a NASTY cradle suplex on O'Reilly, just right on the head. Good lord. I BUY THE NEARFALL again and Elgin is just as shocked as I am. Elgin goes for a powebomb to end it all, but O'Reilly deadweights him and drags him down into a triangle, and is giving him 12-6 elbows in the triangle. Elgin powers back to his feet, but O'Reilly reverses into a sunset flip for the 3!

I completely thought Elgin was going to win this and face Bennett, but I don't care because that match was fun as FUCK. I know there's a weird rumor that Segunda Caida hates movez matches, but that ain't true at all, they just have to be done RIGHT and this one had that in spades. This built well and had plenty of believable nearfalls, but they never seemed overkill or ridiculous. When O'Reilly would kick out, he would BARELY get out before the 3, and there was no "sell like death but then get up and rope run a bunch". Both guys were on spaghetti legs and this was paced really, really well. Wonderful 8 minutes here, and easily my favorite ROH TV match since Necro stopped appearing. Fun fun stuff, you should go out of your way to see it.

I WAS eating a whole bunch of really delicious and sweet raspberries while watching that match, but I don't think it affected my outlook in any way. If you watch the Elgin/O'Reilly match and think it stinks, then it's probably because there was a raspberry party in my mouth and they can make anything fun. Go get yourself some Driscoll's organic raspberries. They're in season.

2. The other semi-final in the TPT, Mike Bennett vs. Andy Ridge. I did not like Andy Ridge before, but I give people 2nd chances. Right Leg Ridge is a pretty decent nickname. Nice shoulderblock to start by Bennett. Corino tells the camera that Bennett is really good at the basics. Some kicks by Ridge get two, and Bennett bails as Ridge misses a superkick. I loved the Chris Adams/Great Kabuki superkick match on the 80s Texas Set. ROH should bring in Nate Webb to work a superkick match. Or shit, just bring in Nate Webb. Back in and Bennett takes like 9 more kicks and is making really great faces while being kicked. Nice running dropkick to Bennett in the corner. Hogewood: "If I have one criticism of Ridge, he uses that right kick a lot." You dance with who brung you, Mike. Bennett finally scouts a right kick (after taking about 17 of them and nothing else) and transitions to control. Both guys throw decent elbows (Bennett's is really nice) and Ridge hits a nice running knee. Bennett blocks a superkick, goes for a piledriver, but Ridge gets a roll up for 2. Bennett dodges a superkick and hits his sit-out uranage slam for the win.

OK. That's two weeks in a row where Bennett's opponent took 90% of the match, and then Bennett just won out of nowhere with a sit-out slam that looks far less devastating than most ROH workers transition offense. It's like in ECW where Shane Douglas would use chairshots and weapons and then win with a belly to belly. In this match I only remember Bennett hitting a couple elbows and a vertical suplex. Ridge took 7 of the 8 minutes, then just got pinned. I was enjoying Bennett, but if this is going to be his regular match formula then his matches are going to get beyond old.

Tony Kozina is back on TV! I've always liked Kozina. Buuuuuuuutttttt, he's back on TV with Davey Richards. Davey does an actual decent interview, because he's not trying to cut one of his shitty promos, just kinda being interviewed by Cornette and casual definitely works better for him. Cornette tongues Davey's asshole and it makes all of us uncomfortable. Just blowing Davey and talking about his MMA and Pancrase abilities, as it shows him holding a surfboard on an opponent. I miss all those classic Bas vs. Frank Shamrock inverted surfboard battles. Apparently Kozina vs. Davey is next week, and I'll be honest....I'm kinda interested in seeing it. This segment was actually really well done, presenting Kozina and Davey as two guys who like each other, but who will also do whatever it takes to win their match. I hope Kozina just hammers him in the balls the whole match. It won't happen, but nevertheless I am kinda excited to see the match. I'm a sucker.

3. Main event is a 4 way which SHOULD be decent. Roderick Strong vs. Homicide vs. Generico vs. Jay Briscoe. The tasty juicy raspberries have put me in a super optimistic mood. Roddy does some amusing stalling to start. Jay looks far more menacing than Homicide, for the record. Generico hasn't been on TV for awhile. He and Jay kinda do-si-do with some wristlocks for awhile. They're really pacing this one to go long. Jay hits a great headscissors on a running Roderick. Generico and Homicide trade some arm drags...like for a minute. 5 minutes in and this thing feels like it's been on forever. The cameras can't cut quickly enough during Generico's punches. Must...eat more raspberries. Strong also decides to challenge the director by throwing many bad punches in a short amount of time. Where will the cameras cut to!? Homicide somehow throws even worse punches (what the FUCK happened to Homicide in the last year!?). His corner punches make Kofi Kingston snicker. Generico runs and and Homicide snaps out of it and punches him right in the face. FINALLY. Roddy is lying on the apron selling insane damage, but I seriously don't even remember him taking much offense. Briscoe bumps big into the corner off a suplex. Generico throws two of the lightest lariats I have seen. Good lord what is happening in this match. I swear I am not trying to be negative here. These guys are just moving in slow motion and trying not to break eggs here. Generico leans out of a superkick from Jay, then Jay gets tossed to the floor onto Homicide and Strong. Generico does a flip dive and manages to miss almost everybody. Not his fault. Bad catching job. Homicide was asleep at the wheel on that one. Homicide ranas Strong off the top. Generico slaps his thigh and Jay kindly decides to sell it. All 4 men are down selling the WAR they're in. J-Driller on Homicide. Generico brainbuster on Jay. Strong tags in and gets the pin.

Wow. That match was fucking horrible. In order of best to worst, I'd go Jay Briscoe, Roderick Strong, Homicide, Generico. Most of this match was just hot garbage. Everybody seemed just...off. Generico is fucking awful. His offense looks crummy and he always just seems out of position for things. Homicide had the Necro Butcher match a few months ago and literally everything else he's been involved with has been disappointing and bad. Strong looked good in moments, then lousy in others. Jay was consistently quality here.

But what a fucking disaster. It got 18+ minutes of time, and almost all 18 of it was one giant disjointed mess. It had minimal build throughout, bad execution, goofy selling...just crap.

It's for the best. When you're a kid, and your best friend is moving away, sometimes a few weeks before the move you might start arguing. Your friendship might dissolve over something silly. Subconsciously, you just don't want them to go, and you're trying to ease that pain by tricking yourself into hating that friend. "I don't care if he moves, he's being stupid anyway." It happens all throughout life. You get through tough breakups that way. If you miss the person, you find things you hate about them, you linger on those things. If you only lingered on the good things about some girl, you'll never get over her. It's torture. But it's how life works. People move on. Relationships end. You might not always want them to, but love is a two way street. If someone is further along then you, you just have to get over it at some point. There are other fish in the sea. Sometimes you don't realize how bad things had gotten until afterwards. It's easier to reflect. You realize you were disagreeing more, you used to be more attracted to her (and let's face it, your pants are fitting tighter too, buddy). She read Eat, Pray, Love and really identified with it. She really, really identified with the main character. She identified with an over-privileged white woman who whines a whole lot. Wow. How did you not see this sooner? She saw Sex & the City 2 in theaters? She sometimes uses the word "psychobabble" in regular sentences. Who the fuck is this person? There used to be things I loved about her, right? Have I changed? Has she changed? Have we both changed? Who am I?!

ROH has been doing a good job to make me not miss it. Everything I used to love about it is gone. I used to look forward to it, and we still have our moments. It's bittersweet. You see glimpses of why you used to love it, and it makes you miss the days that those moments happened constantly. It only magnifies how rare those moments now are.

People grow apart. People fall out of love. Not everything is supposed to last forever. You enjoy it while it's enjoyable, and you know when to cut and run. Nobody knows the right time to cut and run. You just ride every last enjoyable moment to the end and hope you aren't left too scarred afterwards.

You will love again.

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