Ring of Honor on Destination America 6/10/15 Review

Actually liked the Kazarian/Daniels promo to start this, and "Hey I liked that Christopher Daniels promo!" doesn't feel like something I've said a whole bunch in my adult life.

1. The Addiction (Christopher Daniels & Frankie Kazarian) vs. Kyle O'Reilly

This was supposed to be reDRagon (also, I don't understand the name. Pointless capitalization? Meaning I'm missing? Accidentally misspelled when it got back from the printers, so they just ran with it?) but Bobby Fish is on injured reserve, so O'Reilly takes them on solo. Match only goes about 4 minutes and is actually pretty fun, almost entirely because of Kazarian/Daniels. O'Reilly looked awful and nothing about his flimsy offense looked like it would keep two guys at bay. But Kazarian and Daniels bump and do pratfalls like crazy for him and somehow make a lot of it look plausible. O'Reilly throws these embarrassing hockey punches on Daniels (at least I think that's what those were supposed to be...whatever they were they were hilarious) and throws really bad regular punches where he kind of aims somewhere over his opponent's head. But Kazarian/Daniels bump for his stuff, fly into guardrails really tough, even set up for a wild O'Reilly dropkick off the apron into both of them, who had been placed improbably in a chair. Eventually Daniels hits him with the belt and the match is thrown out, but this was probably better than it should have been when you factor in the participants, and that it was a handicap match.

2. Dalton Castle vs. Jushin Liger

Well this was fun! I have never seen Castle before, and he's like a cross between Michael York, Cassandro, John Tatum and Blake from Workaholics. He has a couple of eunuchs with him who fan him with peacock feathers, even has sparkly tights (under his awesome glittery Bowie jumper/cape) with a glittery peacock feather on them. The dude has got the look. His work was good too as he bumped all over for Liger (loved his big bump off the apron from a Liger chop, and the way he took the finishing brainbuster and sold it after was great). Liger dogged it a little bit, had some lazy little palm strikes a couple times that looked like a kitten batting at yarn, but he flew into Castle's knees off a splash, threw some nice suplexes and jeez the guy is 50 and certainly works more athletically than most other guys who are 50. My dad already hated going on walks when he was 50. Castle knew how to stooge for him, this was plenty enjoyable.

3. Brutal Bob Evans vs. Cheeseburger

Bob Evans looks like a David Koechner character; or, a line cook at an actual Bob Evans. He does not look like somebody who should be wrestling on a nationally broadcast wrestling program. Yet he comes off as more of a wrestler than Cheeseburger, who seems like a guy who used to populate opening matches of IWA-MS shows because he sold enough tickets to earn a spot on the card. Nothing he does looks very good. He tries a springboard knee that whiffs by a couple feet, looks scared to go fullspeed into a turnbuckle or even the ring ropes (noticeably slowing way down before hitting the ropes or the turnbuckle), throwing lousy strikes, just looking like a guy who is only given a job because he was promised one after completing training. Bob throws some light punches himself although they are close to being salvageable. Something tells me at the age of 42 he won't be working too hard to improve them. He hits a nice enough shoulderblock and I did really like the sideslam off the apron through a table. I didn't see that coming so the surprise was nice. But man these are two guys who should not be featured on TV.

4. The Kingdom (Michael Bennett & Matt Taven) vs. Doc Gallows & Karl Anderson

Oh, god I have to watch Red Shoes on the program too? Cahmannnn. I was hoping I'd get to see him working his Billy Crystal routine with multiple televised feds. Bullet Club seems to be all the rage amongst live wrestling crowds these days. Lots of BC shirts and whatnot. I don't get it myself. Bullet Club matches usually just mean a bunch of poorly executed interference and matches that would have been better if there wasn't interference. Maybe it's just a cool logo that white guys like to wear? I had not seen Taven before this. I do not want to see Taven after this. Man he looked bad. Taven, Cheeseburger, Will Ferrara...are these the kind of guys the ROH school is churning out?? Good lord. Taven undershot every moved he tried by a few feet, peaking with him going for a moonsault to the floor and landing about 6 feet short, so that Gallows had to sprint several steps just to get grazed. Earlier he got caught with a Gun Stun leaping off the top to the floor, but to make it work required him to land - again - about 6 feet short of his target. Dumb spot. Bennett and Anderson throw some unconvincing Frye/Takayama stuff, shove Red Shoes a bunch, Red Shoes works his schtick where he doesn't actually do anything worthwhile as a kayfabe ref, and instead focuses far more on mugging. Gallows looked fine, Anderson tends to look better in a NJPW setting, Bennett looked good enough, Taven dragged the rest down. Match couldn't have gone more than 5 minutes before the non-finish.

Well, I really liked Castle/Liger, and the rest of the show was...well, not as bad as last week. So that's some progress. They still threw us a couple Brisco promos which are always a great thing. The promos from everybody are actually a far stronger part of the show than the wrestling has been. Eh, where do I have to go on Wednesdays? I'll keep checking it out.

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New Japan Pro Wrestling on AXS TV Episode 16 Review

1. Lance Archer & Davey Boy Smith Jr. vs. TenKoji (6/21/14)

I remember a time a decade ago when Lance Archer was a total embarrassment, truly one of the worst wrestlers in the world to appear on my television. I'm in my mid 30s now, I'm a homeowner, and Lance Archer is still a total embarrassment, truly one of the worst wrestlers in the world currently appearing on my television. Man there is not one thing he does well in the ring. He takes offense like he's scared to be hit, always preparing more for the bump he's about to take. His offense is just terrible. We - me the author and you the reader - we know what moves he's supposed to be doing just because we know the movements. But I have no clue what a first time viewer would think Archer was doing half the time. At one point he did a standing splash and Rachel actually had no clue what he was attempting. It's like he was making a weird human tent over him. He just sort of jumped up and landed on all fours, but no part of him came close to touching Kojima. Even worse he awkwardly yelled "Let's get CRAZY!!!" before hitting it. You have never seen anything less crazy that Lance Archer's standing splash. Out of all the things to possibly yell to the crowd...DBS Jr. isn't good either, but it's easy to not notice that when Archer is bumbling all over the ring. For every tiny thing DBS does well, he does something real poor. Nice knees to the stomach, horrible kicks to the stomach. He tries to carry himself like a big guy, but works real soft. Tenzan looked good in this, hit a nice spinkick, tried his damndest to make The Killer Elite Squad (ughhhh that name) look like they have painful offense. Kojima looked kinda sluggish, but DBS didn't do him any favors leaning far away from his lariat. This match was...not good.

2. Hiroshi Tanahashi & Togi Makabe vs. Doc Gallows & Karl Anderson (6/21/14)

Good match, with the story being Makabe was working it with a broken jaw, which sounds like lunacy, but I'll bite. So every shot thrown to Makabe's chin throughout gets a nice sneery reaction from the crowd. Anderson/Gallows work so much better as a team than Archer/Smith, it's really stunning how much work those two get. Gallows/Anderson have their double teams down, and the moves themselves look so much better. Here Gallows hits a great standing splash, and you actually know 100% exactly what it is he's doing. Tanahashi was good in this, fighting for two men essentially. There was an awesome moment where he hit the Sling Blade on Anderson, went up for the HFF and Anderson got the knees up, and right when Tanahashi hit knees Anderson cradled him right up. Awesome near fall, and the spot looked perfect. Makabe isn't great, but this match is kind of an ideal scenario for a Makabe match, as due to his injury he mostly sells, except when he comes back with a big lariat. So limit Makabe to selling and lariats, and things ain't bad! Finish is real nice as Bullet Club dispose of Tanahashi, and Makabe uses the last of his strength to go on a comeback tear, only to get nailed with a jumping Gun Stun, planting him right on his injured jaw. Good stuff.

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