Ring of Honor on Destination America 10/14/15 Review

1. ACH vs. Matt Sydal

This was awesome. Great fun. It was super spotty, but when all your spots work and they all look awesome, then shiiiiiiiit I can get into that. ACH starts with some fun wrist work and it does effect the rest of the match as from here Sydal switches to knees and kicks, and all of his knees and kicks looked gooood. ACH is freakishly athletic and can land in all sorts of crazy ways, really leaning into Sydal's baseball slide and going sprawling into the barrier. Sydal is no stranger to big bumps himself and both guys really bust out all the spots they know, ACH nails some nasty elbows, lands the punt on the apron (as well as an awesome rope running punt later to boot Sydal off the top), and ACH's screaming fast Fosbury Flop dive is just gorgeous. Both guys fly into the others knees on missed flying moves, ACH dumps himself on a reverse rana, and this was just tons of fun. Not much story to speak of, but when both guys have cool offense you can work a good "one-upper" type of show me match. Awesome stuff.

The Addiction and All Night Express have a spirited mic showdown, but neither team says much of anything. They speak in catchphrases, they don't stumble over words, they speak loudly and pointedly annunciate specific words in sentences, but they don't say anything. "Belts are still ours!" "ANX does it all night long!" There's a recap. Watching it took much longer.

2. Beer City Bruiser/Silas Young vs. The Boys

So apparently Silas won The Boys. This already feels like a major disappointment. Dalton wasn't out here causing a ruckus? This angle got way less gay and way more uninteresting way too fast. This match was fun though. Beer City Bruiser is an egg-shaped old Harley trainee, hits a nice elbow and a powerful dropkick, dumps one of the Boys with a nasty suplex. Another boy takes a nasty lariat from Silas. Short little squash, but good. I wish the Bruiser was on TV more. But man this is just so predictable and frustrating. Silas vs. Dalton with Silas himself volunteering to take the Boys, the simmering homosexual lust, all of it wasted. Castle not even running out fighting for his Boys is just unexcusable. Also, instead of a Tale of the Tape at one point there should have been a graphic with Silas Young looking into an ornate mirror, with Dalton Castle being reflected back. It would have been perfect. Dalton Castle, the man Silas Young is refusing to accept as his real identity, just staring back at him. If it was reflected in a truck stop men's room mirror it would have been even better. I'm so bummed they messed this all up. They could have easily just ripped off the Beecher/Chris Keller storyline.

3. Watanabe vs. Jay Lethal

Well, this was better than I expected it would be. I was expecting it to be terrible, but, tiny victories. Jay Lethal is just bad. He has terrible flimsy blowjob offense, offense that would be terrible if he were a babyface, except he's this awful HHH "have my title match masterpiece" performer now and so he wedges all this lousy blowjob offense into these awful touring champ main events. He does the 3 topes (which has now become a totally played out move. It's the Roll the Dice of 2015 indies) and the Lethal Injection is hands down the worst finisher in wrestling. Watanabe was fine here, liked his big suplex comeback, liked his senton, liked how he sold his back going into the barrier off the topes. Hated Lethal. So tired of Lethal main event epics.

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Ring of Honor on Destination America 9/30/15 & 10/7/15 Review

9/30/15

1. Matt Sydal vs. KUSHIDA

Well this was pretty unlikeable. This was that perfect combination of uninteresting ringwork combined with constant crowd chanting. Crowd is chanting This is Awesome as the match begins, because you see, they're in on the gag. We jerk off with some bad matwork with one guy holding still so the other can do stuff, and then doing stuff while the other guy holds still. The strike exchanges were weak and the moves were really poorly set up. KUSHIDA has some slow motion handspring offense that doesn't look good if and when it connects, and requires Sydal to either stand there while a man does a handstand, or run face first into a man doing a handstand. KUSHIDA hits a decent flip dive at one point. Sydal still has a pretty shooting star press. Boy I did not like this.

2. Adam Page vs. Will Ferrara vs. Watanabe vs. Moose

Boy we are not doing well tonight. This was a rushed 4 way, starting out clunky then burning through some suplexes leading to the early finish. Page was a standout and this was probably the best I've seen him, showing some personality and setting up offense for others nicely. He also had a really great fallaway slam on Ferrara at one point. Ferrara has terrible strikes but is game to take a bump. Moose is always disappointing. There is still plenty of potential there, and he throws a nice back elbow here, but there's just always tons lacking. Watanabe is from Japan, LAND OF WORKRATE and thus he is awesome and we must all throw streamers at him. He never looks very good. Everybody threw suplexes. Colby Corino took a decent bump from the apron at one point, but he leaned way out of a Moose kick to get to that bump. Steve Corino continues to miss every emotional note, woodenly saying "Colby. Nooooooo. Get off of the apron." At least it was short?

3. Adam Cole vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Well this was disappointing. Cole is not great, and Nak really didn't try too hard. We had Cole doing a bunch of fairly engaging leg work, leading to Nak not caring much at all about the leg work. Some of Cole's superkicks to Nak's leg were alright. I especially liked one to the back of Nak's leg. But almost immediately after the legwork stopped, Nak was back up, throwing knees, doing suplexes, jumping around, being generally just fine. My time felt wasted.


Eh, Rachel was on the phone with her sister and she didn't want me to watch You're the Worst or The League without her, so what else was I going to do. But this show was three matches that could have been good, but none of them were.

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10/7/15

Oh man this show is filmed at MCU Park in Brooklyn and it already looks so awesome. This needs to be done more often. Such a great venue and it reads super cool on TV.

1. Time Splitters vs. Briscoe Bros.

The Time Splitters...are not a team I would like to see again very soon. KUSHIDA is just really bad. Their comedy doesn't work, most of their actual ring work doesn't work, they just don't work. Shelley can at least throw a halfway decent punch. KUSHIDA is one of those guys who has really bad trademark offense, but it's made even worse because he doesn't make any of it look good. He's the one who picked this offense. You'd think he would know more than anyone that he has a shaky handstand and a bad looking jab. But then he goes and does bad handspring offense and just a terrible left jab combo. We get a too long super silly arm wringer segment which I'm sure is amusing to the live crowd and all but I'd rather see Briscoes kicking the hell out of them. And we do get that, we do. We just get so much KUSHIDA. Too much. He's junk. I'd rather just watch the Briscoes fight each other.

2. Watanabe vs. Cedric Alexander

Well hey this was the best I've seen Watanabe look! The match was JIP so who knows what kind of mess we missed, but Watanabe looked like a guy I would actually want to see here! Stiff senton, nice strikes (actual painful elbows! Funny how NJPW main event style always has interminable elbow exchanges, yet most of their guys have lousy elbow strikes), a couple of headbutts I didn't expect. Cedric knows how to miss big and I dug his thrust headbutt. Veda Scott is always amusing at ringside. Maybe Watanabe just likes working in the outdoors more? I had a copy (like a photocopy) of Farmer Burns' old "Lessons in Wrestling and Physical Culture" and it recommends to always do your calisthenics in an outdoor setting or at least next to an open window. It also recommended eating your daily steak next to an open window. And to use soothing syrups made from only the finest heroin. But still, I have seen many indoor Watanabe matches that were terrible. And now 100% of the outdoor Watanabe matches I've seen have been good. Science.

3. Roderick Strong vs. Kazuchika Okada

For a guy nicknamed Mr. ROH you think they would just spell his name ROHderick. Okada is very much not good but there were moments in this I enjoyed. Instead of their usual guardrail with metal signs on it, the infield had these flimsy plastic barriers (I guarantee there were some people upset that they paid for front row and were denied flat metal to slap their palms on) and at one point Roddy backdropped Okada onto a barrier, overshot a bit and dumped Okada on his head into the crowd. But man the way Okada builds matches is just annoying. He has no clue how to go back on offense. He just gets hit with a move for a nearfall, both men sell, then Okada just does his own move. We get a few strike exchanges, and Strong's strikes completely smoke Okada's, so Strong always gets the better of him, and then every time Strong then turns to run the ropes that's when Okada greets him with a dropkick or something else. This shit happens in every. single. Okada match. It's just lazy structure, and it's why I get sucked out of his way-too-long matches at the halfway point. At a certain point it switches into "opponent does shit until Okada just does his signature shit". Nothing means anything after awhile. Strong gets a nice nearfall with his running kick, people in the crowd can't believe it, thought it was over. But then Okada just gets up at the same time as Strong and hits a tombstone. Story of the match, story of the wrestler. Yuck.

Not a bad show, although I have now officially seen too many Okada matches. I don't like him. BUT I loved the outdoor setting of the tapings. Gives the show a nice fresh look and looks like they got a bunch of people there. Funny as I hated the look of WMIX, but grew to enjoy the look of outdoor shows more and more. I wonder what moment turned me. It could have been Onita riding in a boat to get to a ring. Or a WCW Spring break show with somebody falling into a pool. It may have been CW Anderson riding on the back of a tractor to a ring in the middle of a cornfield. Yeah. It was probably that one. But whatever it was, I love the outdoor show vibe. So, excellent marks for presentation.

Also, A+ on the sound mixing. Kelly and Corino were mixed WAY down so I could hardly hear them, making them so easy to tune out. I don't know if this was Destination America or ROH themselves, but mixing those two dunderheads down is just an excellent move all around. Great job gang!

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ROH on Destination America 8/12/15 Review

1. Watanabe vs. ACH

"My god how long will Watanabe be on this side of the pond!?" That was the thought that I thought, although perhaps my thoughts were more vulgar and disappointed. Watanabe has been horrible in his ROH appearances. He gets tons of chants because...I guess his Japanese birth gives him workrate credibility? It certainly can't be because they enjoy his matches. But you know? This match was a ton of fun. Watanabe did not look great, but he hung in there, and ACH was fucking killer. We had an extended dumb "HIT MY CHEST" spot, and Watanabe's chops looked and sounded dull, but ACH pretended they were very painful, and then made up for Watanabe's by throwing thunderous ones of his own. ACH dug down deep in this one and drug Watanabe's ass through all of this, breaking out wild shit like a no hands twisting moonsault to the floor, and massive (and well timed) penalty kick on the apron, and then being a generous and giving partner by taking a nasty flip over German on the floor, and a stupid fisherman buster. ACH hits an impossibly snug 450 to end it. So, we had a bunch of nonsensical tide turns, with both guys trading off without much thought to it making sense; but shit looked good, and my eyeballs loved it much more than I would have expected when Watanabe walked through the curtain.

2. J. Diesel & Donovan Dijak vs. War Machine

I know wrestling is wrestling is wrestling and all, but ROH actually bills J. Diesel as 5'10". So...that would make Truth Martini about 6'2" and Dijak like 7'6", with War Machine being around 7' each? Look, I get it wrestling. But even 5'8" is a MASSIVE stretch for Diesel. You can pause at any time and see Diesel comes up to Martini's nose. And a couple weeks ago Martini was clearly smaller than ODB. Also apparently War Machine only outweighs them by 20 total pounds. I'm....having a hard time believing any of this. I still like Diesel even though LIES, and my favorite part of this was probably the early corner punch exchange between he and Rowe. I loved Diesel's big right to the chin. Hanson's offense really annoys me, with the cartwheel being the shitty tasting icing. His clubbing shots to the chest are so wimpy. I am not much looking forward to a Lethal/Hanson singles.

I think I would have more interest in a Corino/Whitmer match if I had never seen a moment of the build up. If I just saw it on paper I would probably go "oh I could see that being good". But seeing how bad Corino has been in almost every second of these segments is just sapping any interest. Whitmer has been surprisingly good at goading him, yet Corino flubs almost every single reaction.

3. The Kingdom (Michael Bennett & Matt Taven) vs. reDRagon (Bobby Fish & Kyle O'Reilly)

This started out pretty dodgy and it's badness kinda peaked when Taven whiffed a flying kick by a couple of feet, O'Reilly sold it anyway and Kelly yelled "Nailed it!!" Then Taven slightly crazes a swanton. Things were looking bad. BUT, the home stretch picked up nicely. O'Reilly's strike combos actually looked nice, and I loved when O'Reilly was going for some sort of rebound lariat and Bennett super kicked him from the floor. It was timed great, I didn't see it coming, and then a piledriver laid him out for the rest of the match. Awesome spot. Bennett throws some nice elbows, Taven wasn't entirely miserable after his peak level of being miserable, Fish generously sold a flimsy indecisive spear from Bennett and the Hail Mary never really looks that great as Taven always pusses out of the spike part of the piledriver, but the piledriver part always looks nice. A good home stretch can really save a match, and hey, this episode wasn't half bad! The last couple weeks have been full bad! This was very much not bad at all.

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Ring of Honor on Destination America 7/8/15 Review

1. Watanabe vs. Dalton Castle

Good god why is Watanabe on TV so much!? I mean this guy just brings nothing to the table. I take that back, he had a nice little side thrust headbutt here. But the rest of the time he works real loose (his stomach kicks are so so bad) and works real slow. There's just so much down time in Watanabe matches. Castle looked better (not surprisingly) in his match against Liger, but he gamely tries to make Watanabe's offense look somewhat painful here. We have to sit through an interminable small package reversal sequence where they roll unconvincingly around the ring, the ref occasionally counting pinfalls even though shoulders were never touching mat. But Castle does hit a sick deadlift German, and I am a total sucker for a great deadlift German suplex. Castle's looked killer, really hanging Watanabe there like a pendulum before beginning that ascent. Highlight of the match. Although after the the match was over, Castle lies down on a man bench consisting of his two eunuchs. THAT is awesome.

Long Truth Martini promo with Jay Lethal. The fans cloyingly chant "You deserve it!" at Lethal. Yuck. Is there anybody in the fed that the fans REALLY dislike? Or even sorta dislike? Everybody gets chants. Everybody is awesome. Watanabe gets chants, presumably because he wrestled in New Japan. Who is an actual heel here? This whole interview all builds to whether he plans on vacating the TV title or if he plans on defending both titles on shows in separate matches. It's weird as he talks about valiantly defending both titles because he's a fighting champion, but also telling the fans to shut up. So he's a valiant heel? A bad guy who does heroic things? He also says the phrase "snowball effect" but it sounds like "snuggle effect". I wanna know what the snuggle effect is!! An overdose of coziness!!

2. Adam Cole, Michael Bennett & Matt Taven vs. Michael Elgin & reDRagon

"Elgin looks like he's having fun again in the ring". Man Corino and Kelly are BAD. You should have heard the way Corino said Elgin is "having fun". It's not like he finished rampaging through the other team and then Corino shouted "Elgin's having fun in there!!!" He said it more like two mothers talking about the daughter of another mother, who had recently had her stomach pumped because she took too many pills. And she had been volunteer assistant coaching the local high school's girl's lacrosse team and these two moms sitting at one of their respective dining room tables goes "You know Jessica's really having fun again! She lost her smile there for awhile but you should see her with these girls! She's really having fun again. Bless her heart." Neither of them think Jessica is actually okay. They just wanted to gossip about her without sounding like gossips.

And this match is just kind of maddeningly bad. Really bad in an in your face kind of way. This is about 20 minutes of Elgin doing tons of offense and big moves to the opposing three guys, and then kicking out of everything they throw at him. reDRagon are very much afterthoughts in this save for one section in the middle, the rest is ALL Elgin working a 2003 HHH routine and just being the ultra mega super man. This whole match was just set up as a Michael Elgin spot exhibition. This same crowd who was cheering and chanting wildly for WATANABE of all people actually chant "This match sucks". And it was moments after Kelly and Corino were talking about what a tremendous main event we were witnessing. A lot of guys in this didn't look good. Matt Taven is the master of missing offense that never would have hit, just to set up an opponent's offense. Here he did an axe handle off the top rope that landed him nowhere near anybody, just to get kicked by O'Reilly. I did like Taven setting up a boot choke in the corner by yelling "Stacy Keibler!!" before choking a guy out with one of his long gams. O'Reilly himself regularly looks lousy, with poor strikes (his running body kick in the corner looked especially terrible) and then just looking really awkward getting into position for thing. Him setting up a Fujiwara armbar variation took longer to apply than Undertaker's old Devil's Butthole or whatever UT's submission was called. Fish looked good in his couple brief moments, dug his nice slingshot senton over the turnbuckles. We do get a couple fun dives, we get Elgin powerbombing Taven onto everybody over the top to the floor, and we got Elgin running through every single piece of offense that he's ever seen anybody do ever. Elgin throws nice elbows. He can throw a nice clothesline. His power offense looks good. But holy shit. The layout of this match was just...stunning.

But we get a Mark Briscoe match next week, so yay.

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Ring of Honor on Destination America 7/1/15 Review

1. The Addiction (Frankie Kazarian & Christopher Daniels) vs. Gedo & Kazuchika Okada

Well, this was very long. Also, this was not very good. Nothing about it was even actively bad, they just did not need this much time for what they ended up putting out there. So...a lot of people really seem to like Okada. Is it because he's Japanese? His popularity kind of confuses me. For people that like moves, a lot of his moves don't really look that great. His matches never seen to have a very coherent build. Is it because he's a good looking guy who sometimes cocks his eyebrows in charming ways? Is this like when people were into Naruki Doi? I am still a Gedo fan but really he just mostly throws punches now. I like his punches quite a bit, and always like a guy who throws a crisp jawbreaker, but watching him take a bunch of Daniels/Kazarian offense doesn't do a whole lot for me.  Kazarian and Daniels don't look bad at all here, just really forgettable. Kazarian threw a nice high kick on Gedo, their leg sweep/clothesline looked nice, but there wasn't enough here. Also, Corino and Kelly are flat out bad on commentary. It's shocking how much they just disappear during matches. They literally talk as if they barely pay attention to matches. They rarely call the action, just occasionally point out something that is likely happening. It will be quiet and then Kelly will make an observation like "Gedo is looking to tag in..." Also this match had alllllll the fucking Red Shoes horseshit smeared all over it. If you've been looking for visual examples of why Red Shoes is terrible, look no further. This guy talks with his hands so fucking much and it's horrible. So horrible. It's like he's rehearsing for a loud hammy, brassy drag queen production of the "Snap out of it!" scene from Moonstruck. You guys, I hate him so much.

2. Adam Page vs. Watanabe

Ehh, this wasn't much. We're joined in progress with Colby Corino on the floor helping Page cheat.  Colby is not acknowledged at all by Steve Corino, which I suppose it not too surprising considering Kelly/Corino just disappear constantly on commentary. If you tried watching some of this show with your eyes closed you would have no clue what was happening. A couple moves will happen and nobody will say anything, and then they'll go for that same move that wasn't called and Kelly will just yell "AGAIN!" or they'll do some moves on the floor and instead of calling any of what's happening Kelly will just yell "ON THE FLOOR!" They're quite passively terrible, and now that I've noticed them I'm afraid I won't be able to stop. Fans seem way into Watanabe and I really have to assume it's because he's Japanese and wrestles in Japan and is therefore "legit". At least this match he doesn't do any of his awful Church Lady selling. He throws these awful missed clotheslines that look like he's throwing a baseball. I mean that arm is coming nowhere close to Page's head. Page has that bland level of indy polish, where he takes things fine but does nothing very memorable. Here he takes a nice bump to the floor, runs into a boot nicely, but then hits some sort of goofy shooting star shoulder block thing off the apron and you just go "yep, that's indy!" Next.

3. Adam Cole vs. AJ Styles

Cole is back from his shoulder injury and is sporting a new post injury dad bod that was all the rage for one day on Facebook. Cole works a little like James Storm, moves similarly, even gets distracted by his own long hair in the same ways. This match was pretty bland but going moving pretty well down the stretch run. I'm getting real tired of moves done on your own knee. The brainbuster on your own fucking knee is just needlessly cute. I mean, a brainbuster drops a guy on his fucking head, on the mat! That's a hard thing to make more painful. Is getting sloppily dropped on the guy's knee really so much worse than being driven full force into the mat? It just looks silly. And speaking of silly, Cole needs to come up with a better way to set up his flipping piledriver. He went for it a couple times but it was avoided by Styles, so Cole just ended up doing these dainty little bunny hops off the middle rope. Cole must have a steel plate in his cranium as he gets dumped on his dome a few times and they never seem to have much impact on the match, including Styles dropping him with a nasty brainbuster on the apron, and later on a couple of piledrivers. A couple of the reversal segments looked good in here, my favorite being Cole ducking out of the way of the Pele Kick to hit a superkick of his own. The Pele Kick rarely misses so it's nice seeing somebody actually scout it.

This whole show was inoffensive. I don't think anything was very good, don't think anything was very bad. It also wasn't memorable. If I wasn't writing this show up as I watched it I would be fucked.  This was definitely an hour long show that featured professional wrestling.

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Ring of Honor on Destination America 6/3/15 Review

I'm happy to have more wrestling on my TV. Maybe I'm a luddite - well, I definitely am - but getting to watch something on my large HD TV screen will always win out over watching that same thing on my laptop. I've been mostly out of the ROH loop for the last year or two - there are no Sinclair stations in my area - so let's dive back in and watch, shall we?

I know these aren't filmed exclusively for DA, but it would be cool if this brings them any amount of new fans. And I can't imagine a better introduction to new fans than seeing the hate-filled scowl of Jay Briscoe and caveman insanity of Mark. I love Briscoe promos.

1. Will Ferrara vs. KUSHIDA

I had not seen Ferrara before, and that was probably a good thing. Will Ferrara was definitely a current day indie wrestler. Went through all the motions and movements of a wrestler, no substance whatsoever. There's this certain way a lot of newish indie workers move, this puffed chest/butt out style of movement, and he's got that down pat. He wimps out of his clothesline follow through and seems scared to hit people with his dropkick, but he knows chest puff/butt out style. KUSHIDA has popped up lately on the Friday NJPW show, and he's okay but also has a lot of weenie strikes. His springboard head graze is apparently a signature spot of his (I thought he was working a parody highflyer gimmick against Ricochet), and he throws these real lousy not punches/not forearms where he just kinda hits Ferrara's forehead with his wrist. Imagine the worst version of the way Robert Gibson would throw punches off a hot tag. Ferrara hits an impressive suicide dive tornado DDT but it doesn't really go anywhere. I do love the hoverboard lock as a finisher, looks nasty and Ferrara only briefly held on before wisely tapping. So I liked that, but a lot of this was....not much.

2. Silas Young vs. Watanabe

Young's "Last Real Man" persona rings a little hollow with me as I'm always just left wishing he was more of an asskicker. He's got a great 'stache, and a good mug, but doesn't really work stiff and really, just kind of scowls. It needs some work. Watanabe is a pretty low end NJPW guy who throws poor elbow strikes and sells moves by making exaggerated Eddie Murphy-as-Buckwheat faces. Young kicks him in the ear and Watanabe perks his head up, widens his eyes and purses his lips. Maybe it's more of a Church Lady reaction. He does it three different times here. Young takes a couple nice bumps here, bouncing off the apron after a clothesline and flipping over off a suplex on the floor, but Watanabe isn't very good and Young seems like he needs an actual asskicker in there with him to bring out his best.

3. Moose vs. Colby Corino

I'm a fan of a good squash and Corino manned into some stuff admirably here. Corino is scrawny enough that I cringed whenever he would get tossed around. He takes a big time bump into the guardrail, takes a powerbomb on the apron and one on the floor. I dig squashes in wrestling, especially on an ROH card so we don't just see 8 straight matches of do-si-do mirror sequences.

4. Donovan Dijak & J. Diesel vs. The Briscoes

This was a nice extended squash. Diesel works an amusing golden gloves boxing gimmick, Dijak is a guy with some height and not much else. I love all of Mark's strikes and his dropkicks are some of the best in wrestling. Jay is maybe the most intense dude in wrestling today, his scowls are downright mean. I wish I could have seen them work WAR. I love Briscoe matches when they just start going on a rampage, they both know how to ramp things up so damn well.


This was kind of a weird episode to debut to a wider audience. I know they just opted to show the Sinclair episode that already aired this week (which makes sense) but this was not a good episode in the least for new eyeballs. The homegrown guys looked like duds, and the two matches they pushed from the very beginning of the show didn't end up actually happening, which might look odd to new eyes. Not that anybody would have likely been clamoring for BJ Whitmer in a singles match, but it's strange to start a show advertising just two matches, and keep advertising them throughout the show, and then do a bait and switch on both of them. At least the Briscoes were featured, who are no doubt the best guys in the fed, so at least they had that on their side. Still, you have to assume somebody somewhere was seeing this for the first time. And that person just got to watch Will Ferrara.

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