2023 Ongoing MOTY List: Ospreay vs. Naito, Just Another 6 Star Match

 

Will Ospreay vs. Tatsuya Naito NJPW 8/12/23

ER: I decided to spend 45 minutes of my Saturday listening to Kevin Kelly lackadaisically call the 2nd 6 star New Japan match of 2023.

Match starts with loose headlock transitions, lot of space between all the matwork, few can look as disinterested in matwork as Naito. Nothing looked deliberate until OSpreay starting cranking the wrist, and I liked the way Ospreay committed to the misses on his running back elbow and a slashing front kick. 

It always strikes me as odd that Ospreay commits so much to the impact of so many of moves but always prioritizes the landing on his pescados with minimal regard to impact. Road Dogg ass pescado. 

I can't believe how little two front row fans flinched when Ospreay was whipped into the guardrail, but vaults right it at high speed, coming one inch from curb stomping each of their kneecaps upon landing. I have had my face smashed by a guardrail at a wrestling show, and got my picture photographed with Misawa for use in Japanese newspapers. But I would have flinched had I actually seen the danger that was right before me. 

The apron forearms didn't do anything for me, but Ospreay took a neckbreaker off the turnbuckles to the apron and an even worse looking one from the apron to the floor. He's a guy who seems to say the type of things that somehow who takes a lot of shots to the back of the head would say, so I guess I appreciate his commitment. 

Naito's Gloria into a cool pluma blanca had good application in reasonable time, and Ospreay's fight to the bottom rope looked strong, his face and neck getting squeezed harder each time he pumped his legs closer towards the ropes

Naito's short arm back elbow to the neck is his first good strike of the match, and I like how the first one acted as a harbinger of how he'd go after Ospreay's neck down the home stretch. 

Ospreay sticking the landing on Naito's poison rana looked great, but it immediately turned into Red Shoes making one of his classically idiotic overreactions that never feels like he's actually reacting to what just happened. His arms held out in hooks, his hands clawed and his face pleading; he looked like a teen finding out his best friend drove drunk and as such won't be able to play in the big game Sunday, ruining the school's chances of going to State. It's always the dumbest fucking reactions from that guy. 

It's wild that Scoot Andrew's "making a guy hold himself on the ropes for 12+ seconds" is a move set up that has survived into 2023. We haven't found a better way to get there than this? Ospreay sets up Naito's balancing act with two hard knees to the face and hits a great shooting start press as the payoff, and while both of those are a much more violent set up for a much better payoff than what Scoot did, it's still a guy awkwardly holding himself in position for a really long time. I think most of the wrestlers that could have figured out the best way to look convincingly stuck in the ropes for that long had all stopped wrestling before Scoot Andrews innovated the set up. Finlay is the only one who comes to mind that I definitively remember being good at occupying time while balancing his body across the ropes. 

If I was impressed by Ospreay landing crown first on two neckbreakers earlier, I have to be excited about Ospreay landing on the top of his head for a great rope run tornado DDT and a smoothly followed up Valentia brainbuster.

I like Ospreay's desperate, opportunistic use of the Hidden Blade, after Naito missed the stardust press. It was a good point to set up a both-men-down situation, but the huffing melodramatic fight from their knees that they used to work back into the match was awful, and the stand and trade looked uninspired until Naito's short arm back elbows. It was a clunky way to ease into the big finishing stretch, but easily forgotten because of leading into such a hot finishing stretch. 

The back elbow to the neck that finally knocked Ospreay to his knees looked like something that would drop someone with lightning bolt nerve pain.

Ospreay hooks several kicks into Naito's left eye, easily the most WAR strikes of the match in terms of impact, great use of foot placement and thigh slap and Actually Kicking Face, Naito's falls looking really authentic. But naturally when Red Shoes prevents Ospreay from doing any kind of follow up ground and pound, he turns the entire focus of the match onto himself for the entire time he counts Naito down. This goof acts like the most important moment of the match is his humorless Frank Drebin routine, Naito down while doing Elvis That's the Way it Is kneeling finger point poses.

It's hilarious timing, because moments later, after Ospreay takes a rana reversal directly on his shoulders as fast as SUWA (just about the highest compliment I can give someone), Ospreay superkicks an off-balanced Naito fully in the mouth, Naito's bazoo resting on Ospreay's boot as if it was holding him upright for a brief moment, and once I realized Naito was clearly knocked out I understood why. Of all the times for Red Shoes to put the full spotlight on himself and make his dramatic count down the pivotal spot of the match, it does not happen when a man is actually knocked out.  

The knockout makes Naito's collapse on the follow up look that much better. It turns out that Naito becomes a really great seller when he gets knocked out and then forced to run at someone. 

You can clearly hear Ospreay calling the rest of the match, literally give Naito step by step directions to guide him through every movement, and what's insane...is that the movements were incredibly complicated AND lead to the best, most natural looking reversals of the match! Both of Naito's consecutive Destinos looked good, and neither felt expected or telegraphed. They looked like a guy who just knew how to use physics to his advantage, even though they were mostly being controlled by Ospreay. Ospreay was essentially working a lazy-eyed blow up doll and making the execution of his opponent's offense look the best it had looked all match. Ospreay's late kickout if the second Destino looked earned and burdensome, as if he was kicking out a blacked out man's heavy corpse off of him. 

On the third and final Destino he made sure to wallop the back of his head hard into the mat, and I love the insanity of not just calling for the finish to be the second Destino, which would have been a wholly valid finish. The fact he forced a kickout and then forced a corpse to do it one. more. time. is the kind of stupid wrestler brain I can really appreciate.  

This was not a 6 star match, whatever that is, or a 7 star match, or a 5 star match, or probably even a 4 star match. But the finishing stretch was good enough and unique enough because of the impressive literal carry job that I can see a scenario where you forget about the opening 15-20 minutes of mundanity. I remain unconvinced by Naito as a worker, and wish Ospreay could integrate more selling into his epics, but carry jobs always impress me and this one was him literally willing a dead body through a complicated finish, and that's cool. 

2023 MOTY MASTER LIST

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NJPW G1 Special in USA - Night 1 24 Hrs Later Not Live Blog

Even if I'm not very interested in the New Japan product, it's inarguable that it's the hot trend among our niche online wrestling culture. Even though I rarely match up with the popular opinions on New Japan, the appeal kind of fascinates me because I don't totally understand it. A lot of things that I see and think "Wow this looks terrible!", and it's still oddly jarring to see plenty of people see the exact opposite. Still, I think it's cool they're giving the US some shows, and I think it's cool they got broadcast live. We were out all day yesterday, and against my instincts - and without knowing much about the card or the results - I figured I would waste some time on a Sunday checking it out.


1. Bullet Club (Young Bucks/Bad Luck Fale/Marty Scurll/Yujiro Takahashi) vs. CHAOS (Briscoes/Will Ospreay/Roppongi Vice)

30 seconds of Scurll and I'm already kind of regretting this decision. His act feels composed entirely of movements that you've seen before, done better. But the Briscoes make me feel better about this decision. We get a great double team jab/chop combo, Mark hits a nice dive, Jays hits a dynamite baseball slide and then a crazy blockbuster to the floor, and this is getting good. The Bucks collapse a ring barrier on a dive and Ospreay hits the most gorgeous possible springboard SSP. That Scurll finger breaking spot is one of those things you flip for the first time, and at a certain point you realize how completely stupid it is to expect any wrestler to sell broken fingers 2 minutes into a match. Mark Briscoe is looking great though, flying in with a great rana and leaning deep into a Bucks superkick, and this whole thing is really good whenever it's not Scurll in the ring. Fale seems really out of place in this 10 man, doesn't look very plausible taking Romero offense. This whole thing was quicker than it should have been, and they easily could have dropped a few guys and made it into a better 6 or 8 man, but I assume they're trying to get as many guys on the card as possible. Matt Jackson: "I can't lose on TV, I got a deal with Hot Topic!"

2. Hiromu Takahashi//SANADA/EVIL/BUSHI vs. Jushin Liger/Dragon Lee/Titan/Volador Jr.

Weird they would frontload all these multiman matches, seems like they would be better served having them between tournament matches. Liger seems slower than the last time I saw him. I think he's better now in singles, that don't require the go go pace of an 8 man. SANADA takes a high bump to the floor and a sharp back elbow. Lee and Takahashi are guys whose match-up benefits from a multiman, because they don't have to kick out of absurd moves, but instead come in for some lightning in 15 second bursts. Takahashi whips himself into a German faster than anybody, it's nuts. SANADA mans up and catches Titan on a nutso dive, and suddenly this match is making me really want more SANADA. Titan ups the crazy by sprawling spectacularly into the buckles on a bump and eating a chairshot. Another short match, really feels like a major waste of some of the guys involved. I both appreciate them not making this a 6 hour card, while being disappointed in the match lengths so far.

3. Hangman Page vs. Jay Lethal

These flimsy ring barriers have already made a couple of nice spots look spectacular, I think we've had a barrier get knocked over every match so far. Here a nice Lethal dive looks devastating as Page gets plastered right through it. This just in: Page's shooting star shoulder block STILL the most "indy" move in wrestling. I say that, of course, before remembering that the Lethal Injection is somehow considered a finisher. I think I really like Lethal, except for that move's glaring stupidity. But considering matches often build to that move, it's a major problem. His rolling elbow and enziguiri look nice here, he eats a big clothesline, but we keep going back to that stupid slow handspring. When he finally hits it, he totally whiffs on it and Page sells it the same anyway. My god the move is the worst. And we get a 4th attempt and it lands short, but thankfully Page leaps forward right into it. If he literally just used any other boring finisher, his matches would be so much better, as all his in between stuff looked really great: great variety of kicks, elbows that land heavy, nice punches, but when so much of the match is built around something that stupid...

4. Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Juice Robinson

I think every match has featured someone with a strike combo that ends in a standing senton. I shouldn't complain as the senton is one of the most logical moves in wrestling, just dropping your body on a guy's ribs, but it's weird how many of these guys just aim to wrestle so similarly. Heel Sabre is wonderful as he has a great mug for smug showoff shit, and has a nice arsenal of cocky spots. There's mocking stuff like the dreadlocks cravat, but meatier stuff like nasty wrist bends, and subtler stuff like stepping on Juice's hand before applying a hold. People who discredit him as someone who just puts on "holds exhibitions" don't give him credit for cool stuff like that, distracting his opponent with one bit of pain before applying something more dangerous right after. Juice is good at setting up Sabre's nastiest stuff, and the powerbomb out of a triangle was a nice comeback spot. The match ending octopus hold was sick, and I love the set up with Sabre kicking Juice's bad wing, Juice instinctively punching him but doing further damage to the arm in the process, and leaving himself open to be stretched to submission. Really satisfying 10 minute match.

5. Yohei Komatsu/Sho Tanaka/Yoshi Tatsu/Billy Gunn vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi/David Finlay/Jay White/KUSHIDA

Boy this feels like a lopsided match-up. I don't know if Tempura Boyz are actually any good. I really loved a Komatsu/Liger match from a couple years ago, but I think I more loved the structure of vet vs. rookie than his actual ring work. I do love the heat Gunn is getting. He knows he's as out of place on this card as the ticket buyers think he is, so I love him going in there and just soaking it up. His lightly hurt face after his 1999 Suck It draws boos was perfectly done. People dump on Tatsu but he's got the Toecutter hair, gets dumped on his dome by Jay White, hits a fast low angle spinkick, and has no problem getting suplexed into the buckles. Finlay works like 2005 Roderick Strong mixed with current Barbaro Cavernario. His dad needs to teach him how to stomp hands and headbutt chests. Tanahashi's slingblade looked like crap against Gunn, and I don't think it was Gunn's fault. Overall, this wasn't much.

6. War Machine vs. Guerrillas of Destiny

I don't think I actually knew Camacho was Meng's kid when he was in WWE. They make this No DQ, but that just means they use some flimsy trash can lid shots, when their normal match strikes look better. I'd rather see them headbutting War Machine in the nose than hitting them in their meaty backs with a lid. I hate how "agile" Hanson tries to wrestle. Rowe embraces the hoss and is better for it. Hanson has too many spots that get too cute. But him getting powerslammed off a springboard is an impressively nutty spot to take. Tanga hits a nasty diving headbutt, and diving headbutts are still a thing guys are doing in 2017. Rowe eats a powerbomb through chairs, and probably lucky for him he parts them instead of bending through them with his kidneys. Hanson uses his cartwheel smarter than normal, organically using it to dodge a charge. It usually feels so much more planned out. And his dive is always impressive. But, I will say, the few times Stan Hansen did it in All Japan are so much more memorable because of how seldom he did it. The powerbomb/legdrop through the table was impeccably timed.

7. Tetsuya Naito vs. Tomohiro Ishii

This is fine but I'm kind of numb to Ishii's masochistic style at this point. Naito doesn't work as stiff a style as other guys who he's just endlessly stood and exchanged with, so it rings a little hollow to see him selling thigh slaps more than he sells say Shibata elbowing him in the throat. Naito makes amusing faces while eating gross chops, and I like a few of the cockier touches that he brings, like wiping his boots on the back of Ishii's head. His spit spot is always stupid and gross, but we ramp up to a whole new level when he spits blood in Ishii's face, and it actually makes me cheer when Ishii clobbers him with a vicious headbutt and snaps him with a folding powerbomb. I can't actually tell if Naito just botched running up the ropes a couple times in trying to the tornado DDT, but if they did then they expertly covered it and made it seem like Ishii was just pulling him away from the ropes to block. Either way, it made the DDT mean a lot more. They lost me a little bit with each guy showing how they can get dropped on different parts of their dome, but the 15 minute run time was far more satisfying than if this same match was in the Dome. I imagine it would go 25 and the pinfall here would just be the beginning. This was fine but felt a bit too much like they ramped up to "we're having an epic".

8. Michael Elgin vs. Kenny Omega

Elgin has a great shoulderblock and back elbow, and Omega has no problem leaning into a huge shoulderblock. Taking offense is obviously not Omega's problem. Love powerslam spots and Elgin always has a nice one. I would love it if he did more, really. JR talks about how they're starting "slow" but we've already gotten a powerslam, a shoulderblock dive off the top, and a brainbuster. Omega nails the leg lariat on the concrete and he actually hits it, usually he just leaps all the way over his opponent and they take a faceplant. Omega always has really weak looking chinlocks, and his backpack sleeper was even worse. His arm didn't even look like it was touching Elgin's neck. It was barely touching his beard. Elgin always has a lot of great looking slams, but it's the same problem as Angle letting everybody reverse his ankle lock, it just makes his own moves look weak. They all look spine crushing, but they're all treated like early match bodyslams. Like, holy shit, here's this German suplex on the freaking apron, followed by a freaking crucifix power bomb off the middle buckle, and Omega kicks out of it the EXACT same way he kicked out of the brainbuster 4 minutes into the match. The previous match ENDED with a brainbuster, and here it was nothing. But we now know that apron German and crucifix bomb are not much either. Elgin lays Omega out with the burliest clothesline on this show by far, but Omega still kicks out all the same. Seriously, he only knows how to kick out one specific way, always at the exact same time, every count. Every move *almost* puts me away, but no moves actually finish me! After Omega gets the back of his head blasted into the mat a few times, that unlocks the "do all your offense in a row" part of his brain, so we get a bunch of running knees (some looked great, some looked like femur bruising slaps). I admire Omega's restraint to not drop Elgin vertically on the clutch tombstone, and he eventually does all the right dance steps in the right order to unlock his finisher.

9. Cody vs. Kazuchika Okada

I will never not love when a heel postpones the opening bell so that he can go and kiss his attractive spouse. And Cody's shiny America tights and stars n stripe boots are glorious. HOWEVER, not using red/white/blue kinesio tape is that little touch to detail that shows that Cody JUST DON'T FUCKING GET IT. He gets it...but doesn't totally GET it. But then Brandi is wearing a fucking sequined American flag cocktail dress and he obviously fucking gets it. That dress would boost the ticket sales to any fucking USO show out there. I could be completely crazy, but has anybody else noticed the AXS cameras specifically focusing on couples in the crowd? 80% of the up close camera shots are of two slender, charming couples, chanting for their favorites and occasionally smiling at each other. Were they given a directive of "hey, no fattie neckbeards, okay? We gotta make this look like it's worth 4 hours of schedule." Okada having to find a way to get his opponent on the buckles so he can dropkick them off, yet always doing it the same way, is just as stupid as "you can't powerbomb Kidman" or somebody trying to sunset flip Super Porky or Rikishi. It needs to be said. Okada is a prettier face, conditioned haired, Billy Kidman except without all the deathwish bumps. Okay, they just showed a couple guys in the crowd who didn't APPEAR to be a couple, but one of the guys looked kinda like between-shoot-body Dan Stevens, so they may have thought they were showing a celebrity. Okada calls for the Rainmaker which just shows he's never heard of Albert Hammond Sr. before. Cody is the only guy in New Japan who understands how to use slaps. You mockingly smack a guy to muss his hair, or you do one after wide-eyed shit talking, or you use them to allow your opponent to get angry enough to justify their transition to offense. Cody gets - and uses - all three of them. You just don't stand and trade them. Cody understands the best way to use the Rainmaker is to make scared fans think that Cody was somehow going to get the title. When I wanted Brian Kendrick to desperately win the CWC and he got that one great nearfall on Ibushi? That joy I felt is tantamount to the fear these fans felt when they thought Okada would lose. Okada, however, does not lose.


You know, this could have been an absolute disaster of an idea. But this was a nice high floor low ceiling show. No blowaway great matches, but nothing that made me want to lean on the FF. A lot of the best stuff were the matches that hit the proper time, that money 10-15 minute zone. So it was nice to see this NJ style that I dislike, worked slightly toned down (I say toned down only because only one guy dumped himself on his head 3+ times, and nobody lost feeling in the right side of their body from a shoot strike on a nearfall). I liked tons of individual performances on the show, thought Cody looked great in the main, thought Sabre and Juice complemented each other well, SANADA looked like a guy I would actually request recommended matches from (any SANADA matches that would make our MOTY List from the last few years?), so it was a breezy view. I drank good coffee, played with my cat son Tacos, goofed off on Twitter, and watched some decent wrestling. It's a quality Sunday.

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2017 Doesn't Make the List: 4 1/2 & 5 Star Edition

1. Hiromu Takahashi vs. Dragon Lee (NJPW 2/11/17)

What a stupid little match. I genuinely like a lot of their CMLL matches, and I think their 3/4/16 match should land on our MOTY list (but Phil refuses to watch it so we likely won't ever know). But now the moves keep getting bigger and the actual point just skipped town. The Mexico matches had a strong tecnico/rudo leanings, with Kamaitachi being the despised foreigner. Here both guys take turns playing heel, and it's only one of the reasons that none of the moves here meant a damn thing. One minute Lee would do these great dickish condescending kicks to a downed Takahashi, and right after Takahashi would be yanking at Lee's mask. It all rang hollow when they would then fighting spirit their way through some suplexes. Both men were too wimpy to commit to a persona, and it made all of their spots look like geek show exhibition than two guys trying to win; it's that Kurt Angle "We're going to have a 5 star match" said during a supposedly heated promo. One-upsmanship can be compelling, but not nearly as much when neither guy is working a consistent emotion. The Mexico matches benefitted greatly from the 2/3 falls structure, as it gave some natural breathing time (which these two have shown they are incapable of doing, rushing through huge spots as if there was a madman threatening to blow up the arena if they work below a certain speed), and most importantly it allowed 2 extra pinfalls, so that at least a couple of their finishers actually got to finish something. There are some genuinely spectacular spots in this match, and some genuinely stupid ones, often spectacularly stupid. I'd be shocked if Lee could keep a straight train of thought and wasn't slurring speech postmatch after taking that sunset flip powerbomb, getting thrown off the top to the floor while setting up a double stomp, and later getting brained into the guardrail catching Takahashi's wild senton. The problem is that it sure never felt like it was affecting him that much, as he would always go immediately back on offense. The fans didn't even seem to react to much of this until Takahashi awesomely unmasked Lee. Shocking, that actually committing to being a dick lead to an actual emotional reaction. Many moves were done, neither man struggled to do any of the moves, both men were heels until they weren't, many moves were kicked out of, eventually one of the moves was not kicked out of.

2. Michael Elgin vs. Tetsuya Naito (NJPW 2/11/17)

Damn. This one had me, until it lost me. And then after it lost me, it continued existing for another 10 minutes. I was hooked, really into it. Elgin isn't a guy I love but I was really loving his performance. His early power stuff was awesome, and I loved Naito's bug eyed desperation as he had no clue what to do to actually stop the beast. Elgin catching Naito's tope was far and away the most impressive I have ever seen that spot. On paper it's always an impressive spot, but it's really difficult to make it look like the diver didn't know he was being caught ahead of time. Here, with Naito's facials and Elgin's strength, it looked like Naito hit a dive the exact same way he normally would have, and Elgin  unexpectedly caught him and suplexed him (AND sold the suplex himself, as it WOULD hurt to suplex a guy on the floor). So I was pretty sold on the match at that point. And then Naito started working over Elgin's knee, and Elgin sold it really great. Not just limping around, but doing neat things like hitting a german and bridging on his good leg, and two different times using the ropes to assist him in doing a kick (an enziguiri and later a superkick). There were a couple of minor lapses but overall the selling was really spot on, and gave Naito important openings. Elgin was still catching him with some brutal standing shots (including those great standing lariats) and Naito was starting to pull ahead. It was good. It was a smooth, turbulence-free landing on the MOTY list. And then Elgin started doing some rope running spots, some of his big lifts, knee unaffected. Which, okay, nobody is perfect. And then it happened the rest of the match, even when Naito locked in a leg bar, and the crazy moves to Naito ramped up, which means he was kicking out of everything that looked deadly, and then the thing just shot past the end zone and kept running out of the stadium, Gump style. The overkill went on too long, past the point of interest. I could not call it a bad match, as the first 60% had tons of value, but man did they work really really hard to undo all of that. I really loved the build and tone this match had, which makes it a huge disappointment that they went the direction they did. And that's arguably a worse offense than just being a bad match from the bell.

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I Liked Tanahashi/Naito! Phil...Did Not Like Tanahashi/Naito!

Hiroshi Tanahashi v. Tetsuya Naito NJPW 1/4

ER: I much prefer this "not going gentle into the good night" Tanahashi than "promotion ace" Tanahashi. It's similar to Misawa's late career William Munny character, though not nearly as broken or tired. But Tanahashi is sliding somewhat back down the totem pole and now wrestles with a certain disgust, and that disgust shines through in his work. Naito is the clear heel here, but Tanahashi doesn't act like an ultra valiant babyface. He doesn't stoop to Naito's level of disrespect, but he doesn't aim to take the total high road either. Naito just goes right after Tanahashi's leg, really taking it apart, and Tanahashi sells it nicely. Even down the home stretch he didn't completely forget about it. That right there sounds backhanded, but it isn't. Before Naito attacked his knee Tanahashi hit this killer left hand right into Naito's ribs, and it's almost like that one shot totally changed Naito's gameplan. Tanahashi would go after those ribs whenever he could, even later locking on a single leg crab where he was clearly pressing his and Naito's weight into the hurt ribs side. That attention to detail was so damn cool and something you rarely see in matches featuring even the best mat guys. That rib work also lent more weight to his splashes, crossbodies and sentons; seeing Naito wince on a hook to the ribs made you immediately think how much pain he was in after the great high fly flow to the floor. I loved how Naito used spitting in Tanahashi's face as a means to comeback, knowing that was a level even slightly gruff Tanahashi wouldn't stoop to. Even the strike exchange portion had a neat twist, as both men kicked at each other's legs. The kicks didn't look very good, but it tied in great to the match itself, and meant far more than any elbow exchange could have meant. Naito peppered in his comebacks nicely, Tanahashi stacked his offense wisely, and I ended up really digging this.

PAS: I was pretty pissed when Eric nominated this, which meant I had watch NJ Twink main event wrestling, my least favorite kind of wrestling. It really feels like Eric is trying really hard to find good things to say about this

"Didn't completely forget about the leg"

sounds backhanded and it should have been, Tanahashi did sell it at the beginning, but his end of the match selling consisted of him shaking his leg a bit and then hitting all of his dives unencumbered.

"Even the strike exchange portion had a neat twist, as both men kicked at each other's legs. The kicks didn't look very good, but it tied in great to the match itself, and meant far more than any elbow exchange could have meant"

It sure didn't look great, it looked really goofus and while it meant more then any elbow exchange, Eric forgot to mention that it was proceeded by one of those dumbass tickle fight elbow exchanges that looked like Ethan Page practicing in his mirror. The finish run was pretty terrible too, I have no idea what in the sweet name of Chris Kanyon Naito's finish is supposed to be, but it looked super silly and elaborate, the whole end run had this very forced near fallism which is just so inorganic feeling.

There were a couple of things I liked, I thought Tanahashi's dive to the floor looked great, and Naito caught it in a way that made it look like he concussed himself. I also did like the opening body shot, although I think Eric is inventing some grand narrative which isn't there. I didn't hate the beginning, didn't mind the middle, and hated the finish. Not for me.

ER: There is a chance I was two White Russians deep when I nominated this match. I will buy Phil al pastor super burritos from El Farolito next time he is out here, and hope it heals wounds. I stand behind liking this match, though.

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New Japan Pro Wrestling on AXS TV 8/14/15 Review

1. Minoru Suzuki & Takashi Iizuka vs. Toru Yano & Kazushi Sakuraba (9/21/14)

This kind of thing is refreshing after getting so many weeks of Okada WORKRATE EPICS it's just nice to see a couple old shooters be cocks to each other in a completely inconsequential match. I mean...I'd obviously always rather watch that than long Okada matches, but stay with me here. You watch this to see how Suzuki acts around Sakuraba, and in that regard it delivered. You had Suzuki (to the shock of nobody) pulling rank on Sak and bullying him a bit, and Sak was kinda playing the wounded child. Suzuki does bully better than just about anybody, and it all built to Sak locking on an awesome kneebar while Suzuki was tied up in the ropes, and I just loved Sak maniacally locking it on while Suzuki writhed on the apron. Nobody cares about what Yano did in this and as I type this I've already stricken most of it from my memory. I did dig the finish as Iizuka gets the claw and Yano cuts him off with a kick to the balls and a snug roll up. Afterwards Suzuki laughs and spits at the camera and does a great exaggerated Vince walk to show off how his hurt knee isn't hurt even though it's hurt.

2. Kota Ibushi & Tetsuya Naito vs. AJ Styles & Tama Tonga (9/21/14)

Dug a lot of this (well, I mean, Naito is...well you know), Ibushi is easily one of the best flippers who - like Styles did years ago - has transitioned nicely into using those spots as a heavy. Tonga is the best lackey in the Bullet Club and he really needs to be featured more instead of duds like Archer or Davey Boy. He moves really cool, bumps big and works way more stiff that guys like Karl Anderson or (obviously) Archer. Styles gets a little too hammy with the bumps here but he and Ibushi work great together and I really dig the Styles/Tonga team. Ibushi always hits his flying offense impossibly on point, and yeah, nice to see some fresh faces on this show. I don't think I can write up another Okada main event (which was why I skipped last week's show).

3. KUSHIDA vs. Ryusuke Taguchi (9/21/14)

A flawed but fun match with the strengths outweighing each guy's weaknesses. We had some issues of convenient selling and some funny build, but the overall story worked for me. I don't really love either guy's personality but something clicked for me. It's possible my White Russian is doing the clicking for me, who knows. But I got into the leg work vs. arm work aspect, loved KUSHIDA kicking the hell out of Taguchi's arm to set up the Hoverboard Lock (which really is a great looking sub) and Taguchi going after the knee to set up the ankle lock. KUSHIDA does a lot of handspring offense and he snaps off handsprings more believably than anybody else in wrestling. I'm not sure what that means, exactly. Because handspring offense is almost universally idiotic. It's like someone being the best at plunging a toilet that they clogged. Or somebody being really good at scraping the black parts off of toast that he burned because he doesn't realize that the dial on the breakroom toaster IS A TIMER. TURNING IT UP DOES NOT MAKE IT HOTTER, IT IS A FUCKING TIMER. It is a set of heated coils which stay heated for a set amount of time based on what number the dial is turned to, but this guy is really good at making his burnt bagel somewhat edible. They do some roll ups that are entirely goofy but I had fun with them, I totally bought into the Hoverboard teases and certainly thought a tap out was coming, loved moments of Taguchi scrambling for ropes, and yeah. This was fine. This was fine pro wrestling. My time did not feel wasted.

Post match and Taguchi does an interview where he keeps saying something translated as "Oh my and Garfunkel"....which is weird. Is it like when religious people avoid saying the Lord's Name so they say something like Oh My Land or Oh My Stars? Is he just being a silly goofball? He kept saying Garfunkel and it was equal parts amusing and confusing.

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New Japan Pro Wrestling on AXS TV 7/10/15 Review

1. Bad Luck Fale vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi (7/28/14)

This was...okay? It was a real Fale-heavy match, kind of a squash for him really. They gave him a big nearfall off the grenade, which I assumed would lead to the Tanahashi comeback...but then it didn't. G1 always has some even-stevens type of wins, and this one was pretty harmless. I actually really dug the opening wristlock battle. Tanahashi did a nice job putting over Fale's grip strength, and he leaned way into all of Fale's big moves. Fairly inoffensive, good for the allotted time.

2. Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Tomoaki Honma (7/28/14)

Man the home stretch of this was so damn fun. Honma is such a great lovable loser, like a better working Masao Inoue. Even though he almost always loses his nearfalls always get me, always make me think he's going to get the upset. The brainbuster here especially hooked me. Fans buy into it too and it always makes for great atmosphere during Honma matches. Mauro does an admirable job covering for a backslide flub down the stretch, and flubbing a move like that actually works within Honma's character, especially where it happened in the match. Saying something like "that could have put Nakamura away, if only he were able to hold on to it" practically writes itself within the context of Honma. Nak himself looked a little off in spots, or else I would argue this match's placement on our MOTY list.

3. Kazuchika Okada vs. Tetsuya Naito (7/28/14)

Eh, this wasn't bad but not really my thing. Seems like I always have the same complaints about these two, and everything I complain about was right here staring back at me. Feels like a waste of all of our time to repeat all of them. Naito can bump big, but he's really bad about making those bumps mean anything. He takes the big "everybody takes this bump off the top onto the apron in every Okada match" bump, spikes himself on a DDT, but really only takes the bumps in a nasty way because it looks cool. He's still back up running around moments later. And Okada does the same thing. He gets dumped on his head with a dragon suplex, which just is used to transition into a strike exchange. It's that kind of wrestling where everything is executed wonderfully, but if you stop and think about the order of some things it will drive you nuts. But really this is all just me burying the lede, because you guys....according to Frank Shamrock....Tetsuya Naito can LITERALLY fly. Can Naito literally fly, Frank Shamrock? Really? Or can he just fall. It seemed like he just fell from a high place to me. But he assures me that Naito can literally fly. The future is now people.

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New Japan Pro Wrestling on AXS TV 7/3/15 Review

1. Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Yuji Nagata (7/26/14)

This wasn't much. Nagata made a bunch of goofy faces to the shock of everybody. Nakamura got dumped spectacularly on his head a couple of times, especially by a rough release German. Both guys looked sluggish throughout. Nakamura usually brings great energy to his stuff, but his kicks were moving in slow motion here (the missed ones looking especially embarrassing), and then the Bom Ba Ye's were among the ugliest and least painful I've seen. He would just sorta walk up to a kneeling Nagata and take a back bump while kinda sticking his knee out. If you didn't know a knee strike was supposed to be happening, you would not have guessed you had just seen a knee strike. The one that finished the match looked fine, but boy, not a great start.

2. AJ Styles vs. Tetsuya Naito (7/26/14)

Well, this would absolutely have to be considered a miracle match. Because it was a really really good match, that had Tetsuya Naito in it. That's just absurd. Styles did an incredible job here, and really Naito did his part just fine. Naito comes into this with a big cut and bandage on his forehead, and Styles immediately goes after it, working him over with snug wrenching headlocks and shots to the cut itself. Styles is a dick in this, always going after the cut and it builds actual sympathy for the robot that is Naito. Naito's comebacks were placed really well, and his selling was shockingly good. I don't think I've ever seen Naito sell...well, anything before, and here he's able to believably hit his offense while also selling damage done and also wooziness from loss of blood. Really feels like a career performance from him. Styles is relentless and the build to the finish is awesome, with the struggle over a top rope Styles Clash being a real peak. This is something Styles can really hang his hat on, he came out of this one looking like one of the absolute best guys in the world, and this far exceeded any expectations anybody could have realistically had for this match.

3. Karl Anderson vs. Kazuchika Okada (7/26/14)

Mauro Schivaone calls this "The most important singles match of Anderson's career". This is a guy who fought for the IWGP Title twice in 2013. Those seem just a wee but more important than a single match in the G1 tourney. Man Okada has a really sloppy and ineffective top rope elbow and a feather soft dropkick, but this was probably the best I've seen Anderson look in a singles match, but it could have been because Okada looked lousier than normal. I suppose he fed into Anderson well, and their counters simultaneously goofy, and good, if that's possible. The Rainmaker really is just preposterous. How would you just not duck? It's one thing if a guy blindsides you with a lariat, but how many times in a match do you get hugged, spun around by your arm, and THEN clotheslined. It would seem really easy to go "Okay, Okada is hugging me...now spinning me around...I should probably duck". It's like Von Kaiser bobbing his head before a jab, or Great Tiger's little jewel flashing in Punch-Out!! Just duck to the side once you're getting hugged and spun. So yeah, the little do-si-do reversals were goofy but fun, I liked Anderson's running power bomb and front kicks. This was better than I expected it to be.

4. Katsuyori Shibata vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi (7/26/14)

This was really good right here. Shibata laced into Tanahashi the whole match, and I love when Tanahashi starts working subtle heel when he falls behind early in a match. The crowd always picks up on it too as they always start immediately booing and getting restless. Shibata goes for big kicks right away, and I love how he immediately went for the Penalty Kick and really missed with purpose. If Tanahashi hadn't ducked he would have been a PEZ dispenser. Tanahashi played it great by scrambling into the corner looking scared as hell, and then Shibata charged and whiffed on another kick as Tanahashi bailed to the floor. And before long we get like 10 straight minutes of Shibata kicking Tanahashi's ass all over. We get that nasty pump kick over the guardrail, some brutal shoulder shrug elbows in the corner (with the camera nicely zooming in on just how much Tanahashi's face is getting smashed) and then capping with a spinning backfist that would make Kong proud. Styles peppers in some nice comebacks, and the release German trading actually worked for me as I dug the way Shibata snapped up and sold later. It made more sense for him to instinctively pop up as he hadn't really taken much damage, but I thought he really effectively sold the "catch-up" damage. Tanahashi looked good throughout this, leaning into all of Shibata's strikes, making the Slingblade look actually painful, crushing him with a nice somersault senton, going all in on both HFF. But Shibata really looked killer through all this, right down to his nasty sleeperhold that looked like it was literally choking the life out of Tanahashi. I didn't have big expectations going into this one, but really loved it.

**NOTE: I felt the Shibata and especially Styles matches were worthy of inclusionon our Ongoing 2014 MOTY List. When I informed Phil he was predictably peevish, amusingly preferring to close the book on 2014 than be forced to spend time watching New Japan matches. I am not wholly unsympathetic to his plight, and I insisted it was not entirely my goal to trick him into watching poor quality pro wrestling. He told me he would consider it, which I read as thinly veiled code for "kindly fornicate yourself". Then we made fun of Makabe's "next level" sub-Abyss punches for 4 minutes.

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Ring of Honor on Destination America 6/17/15 Review

Kevin Kelly looks like current Henry Winkler.

1. Colby Corino & Adam Page vs. War Machine (Hanson & Rowe)

This again started with Whitmer graciously giving his spot to Corino, and then War Machine lacing into Corino as Page refused to tag in. I like how this has been presented so far, although I'm not totally sure *where* it's going. Corino won't be able to realistically get much offense in against any of these guys, as man is he scrawny. I do like him showing some spunk, slapping Rowe and going after Hanson right when he tagged in. Rowe's rolling tilt-a-whirl back/chest breakers into a powerbomb looked nasty, and I dug the Steve Corino/Whitmer tease in the postmatch. Still, curious where they're going, how they're gonna get there, and how long the plan is. With those questions I presented, I suppose you can refer to me as a man who is "engaged".

2. Cedric Alexander vs. Moose

A lot of this was problematic, but had some moments. Moose is still really green, and doesn't have great timing on a lot of things. He took a nice ringpost bump and threw a great clothesline, but also showed horrible instincts catching a flip dive, stumbles into place at other times. The bomb trading portion of the match looked really good, which was not what I was expecting. I also liked the screwy finish that costs Moose his first loss, if only because Cedric made the shot with the wrench look really great. It was easily his best strike of the match, making me think of only one thing: "Make it good!" RIP Dusty. I don't think Cedric is very good, so the choice to have him end the Moose streak is curious, but sometimes streaks can be more of a crutch so maybe they just wanted to unburden him with it. Look man, I don't have answers.

3. ACH & Matt Sydal vs. Tetsuya Naito & Hiroshi Tanahashi

Well hey, this was pretty good! I liked ACH more than Sydal in this, which surprised me as Sydal is a guy I like and ACH is a guy I usually do not. But now I'm thinking that's just because I've only seen ACH working long singles, and I should just watch him working more tags. Because tags make more sense for him. Naito is a guy who is...not good...but actually showed some sort of charisma while working as an invading pseudo heel here. He kept doing these weird "wide eyed" mannerisms which read like he was taunting white people. That is officially more personality I've ever seen from him. There was some clunkiness throughout this, but damn if ACH doesn't hit the awesome Aerostar flip dive, we get a cool Tanahashi German suplex with him grabbing Sydal out of the air while Sydal was doing a standing moonsault, and we got a great near fall save from Naito that conceivably could have been the 3. Ending was a little anti-climactic, but overall this was plenty decent.

I'm always a sucker for a contract signing in wrestling. I love the build to the table getting flipped over. Jay Lethal was really good with that, saying "yeah, I could flip this table over, get mad, but I'm not gonna do that." And then Briscoe made him mad and you KNOW that table got flipped the fuck over. Truth Martini makes a contract signing (or anything, really) worse, but even though nothing of note happened here, it did make me more interested in the match.

Better episode this week. I was all dewy eyed and tired after work, so I sat back in the chair and it was that satisfying kind of focus, and I dug what was presented. I'm surprised they didn't push their PPV way more, as they hammered it home during the contact signing, and a little during the Moose match, but it's wild there weren't constant commercials for it. Seems like that's a big deal, right?

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New Japan Pro Wrestling on AXS TV Episode 11 Workrate Report

1. Tetsuya Naito vs. Tomohiro Ishii (4/6/14)

Well hey this was pretty fun! It's still a bummer when they clip these matches as they aren't actually very good with their clip choices. They'll keep in fairly bland moments where you know there has to be better stuff in the 10 minutes they didn't show. Is their goal to show the best moments? Is it to capture the vibe of the match while eliminating the dead time? Because they don't do that. Part of the time they feel like they just play a few minutes, and then skip ahead to a different part of the match, with really clunky edits. Here they show Naito throwing a suplex off the top and then before Ishii practically lands we cut to Naito throwing a different suplex in a different part of the ring. But then other parts they are incredibly slow to edit, just showing guys lying around. If they're so obsessed with showing all the spots, then show them. I just don't get their goal. But anyway, the match was indeed fun. Naito threw out one of the very worst performances I've ever seen a few weeks back, and here he was very much palatable. He was actually able to move his facial muscles to appear to be showing some sort of...emotion? Ishii had a lot of great moments in here, and while Naito looked lousy with strikes a lot of the time, but damn did he eat a bunch of Ishii's offense really great. Maybe even too great. Great enough sometimes that I feared for his cranium. He got dumped HARD a couple times right on his head, after Ishii lariats. One was a great lariat from the top rope while Naito was on the apron, and Naito just folded in half, braining himself on the apron. Nasty. When I think of someone who makes offense look good, I'm not thinking of Naito. But here he was, and I appreciated it.

2. Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi (4/6/14)

Wow, I really liked this. Like really, really liked this. Last week we saw their flat out dud from the Tokyo Dome show, so my expectations were lowered, but even if they were high I think this delivered. Alright, get it out of the way, Nakamura didn't totally sell the leg. I think he sold fatigue, and I think he sold damage, but he didn't overtly limp or anything, though I bought into it when he would clutch it after offense. Yes, there was certain offense that he did anyway, and that can sometimes really annoy me. But here it didn't. Sorry for the inconsistency. I was invested enough in each man in the match that the selling didn't really bug me at any point. Can't necessarily explain it, but still felt the match was killer. I really liked a LOT of Tanahashi's leg work, loved him snapping it over ropes and rails, bending it and stomping on it. Spots like Nak flying knee first into the rail were great, and Tanahashi was also a complete lunatic for taking some of Nak's brutal offense. Some of the Boma Ye's that Tanahashi took were just so so unkind. There was an incredible shot where the camera has Tanahashi in the foreground, and Nakamura runs straight at him (and this the camera) and just obliterates the back of his head with a Boma Ye. All of Nak's leaping front kicks were on point and nasty, and Tanahashi leaned right into all of them. At one point Tanahashi daintily slaps Nak with the tips of his fingers, and without missing a beat Nak punches him right in the fucking face and then caves in his eyeball with a Boma Ye. Both guys were on point during this, Tanahashi had great snap on a lot of his stuff, and fearlessly smashed into Nak's knees with a missed HFF. So yeah, I loved this shit, some of the selling be damned.

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New Japan Pro Wrestling on AXS TV Episode 8 Workrate Report

1. Yujiro Takahashi vs. Tetsuya Naito (10/14/13)

Wow Naito is a really, really horrible pro wrestler. Not only does he just have no charisma to speak of, but he is just completely detached from what is happening within his own matches. He has no clue how to build a match, and he's not even one of these "execution" guys, who can execute moves they see in a video game, but have no idea how to tie them together. He's a guy who can't tie them together, and executes them really badly half the time. He also has the magic ability to make his offense look like soft pillow strikes. There was one super soft moment where he ran up Yujiro in the corner, swept his leg from the apron, then did a slingshot seated dropkick…and none of them came off like anything that would hurt a human. This match was bunk right from the jump as Yujiro jumps Naito and puts his leg in a chair to "Pillman-ize" him, and everybody in the ring handles it in hilariously bad fashion, with Yujiro taking forever to set it up, Naito just sitting in the ring not attempting to remove a chair from his leg nor making any expressions (not sure he's capable of this) that would seem like he was in danger. He just sat there, blank faced, waiting, the way you blankly stare ahead when a stranger is looking for a seat on the bus and you don't want it to be next to you. It all looked so bad and went on for so long that Josh Barnett even had to say that it didn't look like Naito was doing all he could to help himself. Then there's a bad exchange with Red Shoes trying to wrestle the chair away and literally two minutes into the match it felt like my evening was being wasted. Now I mentioned how bad Naito's offense usually looks, but at the same time Takahashi wasn't doing anything on his end to make it look good. Over the course of the match I liked a couple of Takahashi's deadlift Germans (I will pretty much always like a deadlift German) but man this was such a bad match. Naito brings absolutely nothing to the table. Except his "Polvo de Estrella" kneepad. Because I like to think it's a tribute to an exotico and not just the name of his bad Stardust Press. I'll change my opinion of him to positive if I ever see him wearing a May Flowers kneepad.

2. Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Naomichi Marufuji (10/14/13)

The battle of my favorite NJ guy of the last decade and my least favorite NOAH guy of all time! And there was nothing in this match that threatened to move him up my all time NOAH worker rankings. He looked so, so bad in this. The kind of bad where you could not show this match to someone with virgin wrestling eyes, because they would have too many questions, like "what was that supposed to be?" "Why is that guy pretending to be hurt? Was that move supposed to have hit him?" "Which guy got hurt taking that move?" "Was that a move or did one guy decide to fall over when the other guy ran sorta close to him?" These were all questions that *I* had while watching this match, so I can only imagine how someone watching this with new eyes would feel. Marufuji has just a wild collection of implausible offense, with bad set-ups, bad execution, and so much stuff that I'm just not sure how it would hurt if it actually landed the way I think he wanted it to land. It's all thigh slaps and really bad missed strike dance fighting and a series of moves that see him take really dangerous bumps while he's doing offense, so that his bump looks way more painful than the move his opponent is taking. Marufuji tries working too fast for his own good, as he's not fluid enough to make quick exchanges look good. Nakamura tried his damnedest here, but damn Marufuji is just B-A-D bad.

By far the best thing was Suzuki challenging Nakamura post match. I do really love that they put the subtitles up over these promos. Guys like Rusher Kimura and Suzuki always cut promos that get tons of laughs from the crowd but I never had clue one what the heck they were saying.

This was a really horrible episode of wrestling television right here.

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New Japan Pro Wrestling on AXS TV Episode 7 Workrate Report

1. Tetsuya Naito vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi (8/11/13)

So let me say that there was a GREAT moment in this match, after for TNA legend Naito had gotten his knee worked over a bit by Tanahashi, and Tanahashi shot him into the ropes, Naito did one of the greatest injured knee sells I'd ever seen. It looked so damn real, as he could barely make it running to the ropes, bounced back and just crumbled awkwardly onto his head and shoulder, at Tanahashi's feet. It was so wonderful and so perfectly pro wrestling. I rewound it a couple of times to see it again, really pay close attention to it. I called Rachel into the room, showed it to her and she asked if he had actually hurt his knee. It was a great, great moment.

But it happened just 4 minutes into the match. And there's no way Naito was going to be able to pull this off for another 30 minutes. He opened with "torn meniscus and shattered patella" and he still hadn't done any offense. It was a great spot in a vacuum, but he bit of wayyyyy more than he could ever possibly chew. It also meant that for the rest of the match I had to hear Mauro and Josh cry tears for Naito's poor, devastated knee. At one point Barnett even called it "emaciated". This all would have been news to Naito who was up, running around and doing all of his moves just fine. I mean the Koji Clutch he uses a lot would put an insane amount of pressure on his poor, emaciated knee. Oh, Naito will occasionally shake out his knee or sell it when it's convenient for him and won't get in the way of a Stardust Press.

I liked Tanahashi in this, but although I enjoyed his leg work there is something to be said about knowing your opponent's limitations and him going so hard after Naito's knee was a solid match plan in theory, but Naito isn't good enough to reliably work it into the frame of the match. Tanahashi has been far more enjoyable in these shows than expected, as he's tightened up some things in the last couple years (the HFF generally looks great, especially his crossbody version to the floor, the Slingblade actually looks like a real move now, his commitment to "missed" moves is really great as he flies painfully into opponents' knees on missed splashes), but man was Naito garbage. He has no clue how to competently work a match, he can't execute moves very effectively, his offense doesn't make tons of sense as a whole, he is a complete statue in terms of charisma, shows no passion, and seems to get lost at times (with the worst offense being a missed…something…as I believe they were both doing a crossbody spot but both men bumped too early and it ended up looking like both guys got hurt by the invisible monster in Fantastic Planet). Bad match. But man, that one moment was GREAT.

Oh, and while a lot of Barnett's jokes fall flat, he actually made me chuckle out loud when Naito locked on the Koji Clutch and Barnett yelled "Shades of Joe Stecher!" Good one. Mauro also made me laugh out loud, but unintentionally, because it's hard to keep a straight face during his Japanese over pronunciations. My favorite of his this week was "En-Zwee-GIDI" on an Naito enziguiri.

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