SEGUNDA CAIDA DECLARES WAR!!! 11/9/96

1. Gokuaku Umibozu vs. Jun Kikuchi

ER: Awwww yeah! What a killer little start to a WAR show! Umibozu is a sleaze fed karate guy with cool face paint, and Kikuchi is a guy that nobody has ever heard of who probably deserves to be heard of. Kikuchi looks transported straight out of a black and white 60s JWA match, like a Rikidozan partner. He's got the same thick build, old puro moveset (butterfly suplex, back suplex, those kneedrops where your shin lands flat over a guy's chest) and a Johnny Unitas flat top. Umibozu breaks out a nasty axe kick and follows it up with a straight kick to Kikuchi's chest, then levels him with a chair shot. Umibozu throws some headbutts and I love Kikuchi's classic strong style comeback. Seriously, this guy is right out of a time machine. Umibozu dumps him on his head with a folding powerbomb and then lands rough on a moonsault that sees Kikuchi kicking out right at 3 and then yelling at the ref. These guys were both awesome and both mostly unknown, and totally delivered in a 6 minute opener. Worth it.

2. Masayoshi Motegi vs. Battle Ranger

ER: Man this undercard is delivering unexpectedly. Motegi looks like a cross between Kawada and Rusher Kimura here, and delivers a great ass beating. He hits some stiff as hell lariats and works with a heft that I don't remember seeing from him. WAR apparently brings out the badass in everyone! Battle Ranger is here to get beaten, getting in only a brief run with a rana, German suplex and a smooth headscissors, but when he goes to follow up with a plancha to the floor he runs right into a waiting chair. Then Motegi mocks his battle ready stance and hits him more with a chair. Motegi hits a stiff Dr. Bomb and then absolutely crushes the finish, initially going for a superplex only to see Ranger squirt out, so - back facing the ring - Motegi grabs him in a gutwrench and hits an awesome twisting Dr. Bomb off the top. Killer finisher. The masses can finally stop harassing me, for a Battle Ranger match has finally been reviewed on Segunda Caida.

3. Masaaki Mochizuki/Takashi Okamura vs. Kamikaze/Masakazu Fukuda

ER:  This was clipped to half the running time, but it was in highlight form, and looked good enough from the highlights. 1996 was a year where WAR brought in a bunch of rookies and young guys, and a lot of them acted like real punks (to our benefit). Mochizuki is a guy who has looked good pretty much since his debut, and he's one of the more tireless guys in wrestling. It seems like his name never stops showing up in results. Okamura was clumsy in an amusing way and has been involved in the Dragon Gate office for years now. Kamikaze is another guy who is still somehow steadily working, and Fukuda died tragically from an in ring accident just a few years later. And all brought young rookie fire here. Fukuda is tall and lanky, and Mochizuki attacks him the whole match with nasty whip crack leg kicks, but goes down like a shot for a nice Fukuda elbow smash. Mochizuki and Okamura are both wearing their baggy mid 90s karate gear (with the short cropped shirts with short yet super baggy sleeves), and apparently everybody in WAR that year was instructed to use chairshots whenever a match went to the floor. Chairshots with those thin but no doubt painful Japanese metal chairs are to WAR what being thrown into the guardrail is to NOAH. Mochizuki beats Fukuda's ass on the floor, and Okamura comes flying out of nowhere with an elbow drop off the apron that mostly misses. That was a theme of Okamura's, although in an amusing way: He was kind of clumsy but had some wild asshole energy, so he would awkwardly take a bump or whiff on a move, but always with gusto. Kamikaze hits a great space flying tiger drop, Mochizuki continues to show he's one of the best kickers in pro wrestling history, and we get a fun pull apart after the match that spills to the back (and sees Kamikaze put an exclamation point on things with a big DDT on the floor on Mochizuki).

4. Doink the Clown vs. Onryo

ER: This is a weirdly infamous match among a niche circle of wrestling fans, as it was the only major promotion match to be included on Scott Mailman's Japanese Indy Sleaze comp tape. And yes, I understand that many words in that sentence I just wrote read like "Yahoo Serious Film Festival". I don't know any of the legal ramifications of Borne continuing to use the Doink gimmick several years after his awesome WWF stint, but it's really weird he showed up on just a couple WAR shows in full Doink gimmick. He's even on this show with Bam Bam Bigelow, the man he blamed for his WWF firing. So that's all weird. The match itself is incredibly fun, with Borne working really stiff and Onryo setting up a bunch of stuff for him. It's all built around Doink suckering Onryo into attacks, and then almost all of the attacks backfiring on Onryo. Doink throws some stiff shoulderblocks, catches a leaping Onryo and turns it into a nasty backbreaker, and then does two of the best drop toeholds I've seen, with Onryo rushing at him like he didn't realize he was going to eat a drop toehold. If someone could make a drop toehold look like a shoot, it was Doink, in WAR, naturally. Onryo hits some nice forearms and does a wild tope con giro to take out Doink and his own undead buddy, really a spectacular dive (which Onryo was always good for). Back in and Doink finishes things off pretty easy with a nice belly to belly and crushing Onryo's ghost chest with the whoopee cushion. Borne looked so awesome here, it really made me want to go back and watch all of his 1993 Doink run.

5. Bam Bam Bigelow/Nobukazu Hirai vs. Arashi/Osamu Tachihikari

ER: Kind of a big meaty mess of a match, but not without its charms. Early on Bigelow sells big for Arashi, bumping backwards to the floor off a shoulderblock, then smacking the drink out of the hand of a ringside fan. He smacked it from underneath, too, so the drink flew really high, straight up into the air. Hirai is a guy with tons of energy with mostly nice looking stuff, but in this match he is also responsible for one of the funniest and dumbest moments in wrestling. He and Tachihikari spill to the floor, and Hirai just wastes him with chairshots: throwing him into the ringside chairs, beating him with the chairs, burying him in the chairs. He then climbs into the crowd and runs up the stairs of Korakuen, then runs back down them, leaps onto the guardrail, slips, and falls right onto his face in all the chairs, not touching Tachihikari with whatever the hell it was he was meaning to do. But he is committed. So he suplexes Tachihikari into the chairs, gets back into the crowd, and walks up those stairs again. He doesn't walk up as high as the first time, and he goes slower, then he comes back down the stairs, slowly, gets back on the guardrail....and almost completely whiffs on a leaping clothesline. And he appears to actually injure his knee doing all of that, as he keeps going back to it the rest of the match while everyone else avoids it. Amazing. The rest of the match isn't much. We get a nice double team powerbomb from BBB/Hirai, and Hirai finishes things with a nice elbow drop off the middle rope. The sumo guys are a fun team, but this probably should have been better.

6. Kazuo Yamazaki/Takashi Iizuka vs. Genichiro Tenryu/Nobutaka Araya

ER: Yeah baby, this is all about Tenryu and Araya working as dickhead heels in their own promotion, openly taunting the fans with their assholery. Yamazaki starts the match lacing into Tenryu with kicks, and I always loved how Yamazaki still threw kicks like a kickpad guy, while just wearing tights and boots at this stage of his career. But you knew eventually that Tenryu would get his mitts on Iizuka, and when that happens then things get real. It happens in an unexpectedly awesome way, as Araya/Iizuka are in the ring, and suddenly the camera man gets knocked on his ass, and it;s like we're suddenly watching Cloverfield and have no idea what's going on, until the Tenryu pops into view as the cameraman is filming from his back. Turns out the cameraman was focused on the ring action and got blindsided as Tenryu did a sneak attack on Yamazaki. Tenryu beats Yamazaki down with a chair, and now we officially get Iizuka alone. You knew it was coming. Iizuka is always so game for taking a beating, and he's a great babyface as I always just want him to stand up for himself. They were such great jerks, laying in a beating with stiff chops and punches, nothing fancy, but the pure joy comes when Iizuka would make a miniscule comeback, because then Araya would come rushing in to immediately break it up. And every time they did that they would triumphantly raise their arms while soaking in the jeers. Tenryu and Araya are expert ring cutter offers, and we build to a big moment where Yamazaki finally comes back and breaks up a pin, kicking Tenryu right in the eye (and few are better at selling a kick to the eye than Tenryu). We get a great moment of Iizuka grabbing a desperation kneebar, but eventually Araya and his pudginess are two much for him, squishing him with two big moonsaults. This never hit peak WAR violence, but delivered at least as much as all Tenryu WAR tags. Tenryu and Araya are a total superstar heel team, making this easily must see.

7. Jushin Liger/El Samurai vs. Lance Storm/Yuji Yasuraoka

ER:  Liger and Samurai were such a cool team around this time, no way a team like Storm/Yasuraoka could come off even half as interesting. They both seem so light compared to the expresionless asskicking of Liger and Samurai. And luckily most of the match is a Liger/Samurai beatdown, so we didn't have to see extended runs of 1996 Lance Storm offense. First half of the match is Liger and Samurai cutting off the ring and picking apart Yasuraoka. Storm gets off kinda easy this match, as most of the damage that happens to him is due to his own poor landings on flying moves. Yasuraoka is the one in there getting powerbombed roughly (like 4 times!) and getting stomped by two of the better stompers in wrestling. We get a big dive spot, with Samurai plastering Storm with a tope (sending Storm crashing back hard into chairs), Yasuraoka hits a flying...something? (knee? axe handle?) that appears to not hit anyone, and Liger wastes him with a crossbody off the top. Samurai is one of the more generous bumpers ever, making all of Yasuraoka's stuff look brutal, when it does not in fact look very brutal (also, does anyone take a German suplex more annoying than Yasuraoka? He always takes them like he's doing a standing moonsault, always landing light), and Storm has some really awesome saves, really timing them so he's flying into frame at the last second. Storm and Yasuraoka win the junior titles, even though it felt like they really didn't do enough in the match to win them. Most of the match felt like a nice Liger/Samurai beatdown, with a Storm/Yasuraoka flurry at the end. Storm hits a huge flip dive to the floor that sends Liger sprawling through chairs (and sees Storm mostly do a huge Hamrick bump onto his back. Storm also took a great bump through the ropes earlier, basically flying through the ropes no hands and splatting on his back). I'm not really excited for the Storm/Yasuraoka babyface run, but it was nice seeing Samurai waste them. Samurai is always so lean and mean, I love his stomps and wrenched in holds, his reverse DDT always lands, and his left arm lariat (both standing and running variation) is a favorite of mine. I'd love to see Liger/Samurai against Tenryu/Araya

ER: Fun show that didn't look like much on paper. Nothing here was blowaway great, but it was a top to bottom fun show, a nice way to spend a couple hours. WAR felt like more of a "normal" fed at this point, but it had tons of charm and still brought the surliness.


COMPLETE SEGUNDA CAIDA DECLARES WAR!!!

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New Japan Pro Wrestling on AXS TV 8/14/15 Review

1. Minoru Suzuki & Takashi Iizuka vs. Toru Yano & Kazushi Sakuraba (9/21/14)

This kind of thing is refreshing after getting so many weeks of Okada WORKRATE EPICS it's just nice to see a couple old shooters be cocks to each other in a completely inconsequential match. I mean...I'd obviously always rather watch that than long Okada matches, but stay with me here. You watch this to see how Suzuki acts around Sakuraba, and in that regard it delivered. You had Suzuki (to the shock of nobody) pulling rank on Sak and bullying him a bit, and Sak was kinda playing the wounded child. Suzuki does bully better than just about anybody, and it all built to Sak locking on an awesome kneebar while Suzuki was tied up in the ropes, and I just loved Sak maniacally locking it on while Suzuki writhed on the apron. Nobody cares about what Yano did in this and as I type this I've already stricken most of it from my memory. I did dig the finish as Iizuka gets the claw and Yano cuts him off with a kick to the balls and a snug roll up. Afterwards Suzuki laughs and spits at the camera and does a great exaggerated Vince walk to show off how his hurt knee isn't hurt even though it's hurt.

2. Kota Ibushi & Tetsuya Naito vs. AJ Styles & Tama Tonga (9/21/14)

Dug a lot of this (well, I mean, Naito is...well you know), Ibushi is easily one of the best flippers who - like Styles did years ago - has transitioned nicely into using those spots as a heavy. Tonga is the best lackey in the Bullet Club and he really needs to be featured more instead of duds like Archer or Davey Boy. He moves really cool, bumps big and works way more stiff that guys like Karl Anderson or (obviously) Archer. Styles gets a little too hammy with the bumps here but he and Ibushi work great together and I really dig the Styles/Tonga team. Ibushi always hits his flying offense impossibly on point, and yeah, nice to see some fresh faces on this show. I don't think I can write up another Okada main event (which was why I skipped last week's show).

3. KUSHIDA vs. Ryusuke Taguchi (9/21/14)

A flawed but fun match with the strengths outweighing each guy's weaknesses. We had some issues of convenient selling and some funny build, but the overall story worked for me. I don't really love either guy's personality but something clicked for me. It's possible my White Russian is doing the clicking for me, who knows. But I got into the leg work vs. arm work aspect, loved KUSHIDA kicking the hell out of Taguchi's arm to set up the Hoverboard Lock (which really is a great looking sub) and Taguchi going after the knee to set up the ankle lock. KUSHIDA does a lot of handspring offense and he snaps off handsprings more believably than anybody else in wrestling. I'm not sure what that means, exactly. Because handspring offense is almost universally idiotic. It's like someone being the best at plunging a toilet that they clogged. Or somebody being really good at scraping the black parts off of toast that he burned because he doesn't realize that the dial on the breakroom toaster IS A TIMER. TURNING IT UP DOES NOT MAKE IT HOTTER, IT IS A FUCKING TIMER. It is a set of heated coils which stay heated for a set amount of time based on what number the dial is turned to, but this guy is really good at making his burnt bagel somewhat edible. They do some roll ups that are entirely goofy but I had fun with them, I totally bought into the Hoverboard teases and certainly thought a tap out was coming, loved moments of Taguchi scrambling for ropes, and yeah. This was fine. This was fine pro wrestling. My time did not feel wasted.

Post match and Taguchi does an interview where he keeps saying something translated as "Oh my and Garfunkel"....which is weird. Is it like when religious people avoid saying the Lord's Name so they say something like Oh My Land or Oh My Stars? Is he just being a silly goofball? He kept saying Garfunkel and it was equal parts amusing and confusing.

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New Japan Pro Wrestling on AXS TV Episode 15 Review (feat. more Matt D/Young Bucks feud data)

1. The Time Splitters (Alex Shelley & KUSHIDA) vs. The Young Bucks (6/21/14)

I really dug this! Bucks worked a super effective heel RnR style and other than my complaint of them  never using the springboard tombstone as a finish, thought this was one of their best performances. They bumped around (especially Matt), their tandem offense looked good, and Matt threw some nice mule kicks, flashier spots (the tornado DDT to Shelley after Matt floated through to the apron was slick). This actually had the best usage of their double tombstone, as it clearly looked like it would have finished the match had Shelley not burst in with a great save. The build to the hot tag was really good, and the heel schtick came off more legit here than it does on the indies, for reasons I can't easily explain. Possibly because they toned down the more cornball antics (which I actually like from them in certain situations) and worked with a slight sinister edge. Crowd was hot, work was good, match was time well spent.

FOUR SAMPLE MATT D YOUNG BUCKS MOOD CHECKER:

We now have four Bucks samples since I....well flat out forgot about this gimmick. Matt still seemed a little bull-headed about the Bucks last we checked in, but maybe there was a hint of retreat. I thought they looked good here and I love the vibe of a heel RnR who work less cute, more dickhead. I'm giving this one easily to the YB.

MATT: 1
BUCKS: 3

2. Minoru Suzuki & Takashi Iizuka vs. Kazushi Sakuraba & Toru Yano (6/21/14)

I dug this one too! Suzuki and Iizuka are a fun tag team, and seeing Suzuki tangle with Saku was a kick. The end run had Saku going for all sorts of subs and every time it looked like Suzuki was about to tap. The triangle was locked in and the rolling Americana looked great, and they kept getting broken up. Both teams had some nice convincing saves, and I love a great save in a tag match. Loved Yano rolling up Suzuki in a beautiful high cradle, really thought he was pinning Suzuki, so didn't notice Iizuka creeping up to pull the ref. I love Suzuki being the one guy in wrestling who understands running physics, so knows how to actually just stop running when Irish whipped. I love the sequences that followed both those physics spots. Really fun match.

3. Kota Ibushi vs. Ricochet (6/21/14)

Awesome little spotfest that would have been viewed as an instant classic on Lucha Underground, but kinda got a bit ignored on this show. We don't get tons of selling, but when the spots are this fun who cares. Tons of neat springboard spots, with Ricochet hitting a snug dropkick and later a massive shooting star. Ric landing on his feet and casually strutting away was one of several holy shit rewind that! moments, one-upping his earlier flip dive over the ringpost that spilled him way into the crowd. Ric's kicks all looked nice and Ibushi's weren't too shabby, all the "missed" stuff looked good, and there was a bunch of really terrific strike blocking. It always looks cool when you chop attach a guy's clothesline or something, and both guys got cool strike blocks here. Ricochet front kicking an Ibushi clothesline, both men tossing out blocks during fast strike exchanges. They all ruled. This was just satisfying as fuck moves based wrestling.

This was a real satisfying episode of NJ TV. Tons of variety, episode went by in a flash.

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New Japan Pro Wrestling on AXS TV Episode 13 Workrate Report

1. Minoru Suzuki & Shelton Benjamin vs. Takashi Iizuka & Toru Yano (5/25/14)

So uhhhh, I have obviously not seen Iizuka in awhile as he is now essentially Rusher Kimura doing an Ox Baker impression. And this is an odd thing for them to air as Iizuka turns on Yano before the bell and joins Suzuki-gun, but I guess I can't complain too much about Suzuki being Suzuki. I have no idea what Iizuka's deal is but this does seem like an amusing late career reinvention.

2. Kazuchika Okada vs. AJ Styles (5/25/14)

So last week we saw their 5/3 match which was very much not good, with tons of limp Bullet Club interference. Interference in a match is one thing, but jeez at least make it look good. AJ with his floppy hair and pouty attitude always comes off like an argumentative teenager to me. This match didn't have nearly the amount of BC interference as the 5/3 match, but it still wasn't that great. These two just don't seem like a very good match for each other. A lot of the work within was fine, but even though they were doing some things that should have built drama, I did not feel any sort of drama. Just like last week AJ looked really good, took a couple big bumps (including a great one through the ropes to the floor) and Okada took one of his own off a giant hip toss to the floor, with him landing right on his tailbone. The last match Okada did a great job - in match and on promo - putting over the Styles Clash, so the fans got amped for the couple Styles Clash struggles we saw. They also got amped for the Rainmaker, but I thought all his set ups for that looked real bad, with him taking a long time to hug Styles close so that WHEEEEE he could spin him around into a clothesline. This whole thing never felt like it hit into high gear. They were going through some of the motions, but it just didn't work.

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SEGUNDA CAIDA DECLARES WAR!!! NJ 2/5 + 2/16 + 6/14/93

WE DECLARE WAR

Genichiro Tenryu/Ashura Hara/Takashi Ishikawa v. Kenji Mutoh/Akira Nogami/Shinya Hashimoto NJ 2/5/93

Pretty much exactly what you want out of this match up on paper. Hashimoto and Tenryu have a couple of nasty little scuffles building up their big singles matches, while the lumpy pissed off duo of Hara and Ishikawa mug the fuck out of Nogami. One thing we definitely got out of the 80's New Japan set is that Akira Nogami will take as big an asswhipping as anyone in wrestling history. After we go back and forth for a while, the WAR team kick his ass up and down the ring. Hashimoto isn't in this match a ton, but after Nogami gets pinned he attacks Tenryu and looks like he tries to take his eye out. More of a teaser then a great match, but a nice teaser.

Genichiro Tenryu/Ashura Hara/Takashi Ishikawa/Koki Kitahara/Ricky Fuyuki vs. Riki Choshu/Tatsumi Fujinami/Osamu Kido/Hiro Hase/Takashi Iizuka 2/16/93

These kind of Puro gang fight 10 man are one my favorite types of wrestling matches. This is 2/3 falls rather then elimination style and goes nice and long so each guy gets to stretch out a bit. We know what the WAR guys bring to the table, they are going to try to kick, stomp and punch divots in your skull. Tenryu is probably the greatest all time at throwing cheap shots, and he is constantly cracking folks from behind.The NJ guys really shine here as well. Fujinami and Iizuka probably take the biggest beating and both are masterful at receiving and firing back. Kido isn't in as much, but he pulls off some awesome flash armbars, really putting over his suddeness. Hase has a weird cool way of eating offense, I loved his sell of Fuyuki's clotheslines, and is great at catching people in sudden suplexes. Choshu is the BMOC, and he is as good an Ace as there has ever been. He gets the pins in both falls, as is so great at coming in and cleaning house.

Genichiro Tenryu/Takashi Ishikawa v. Shinya Hashimoto/Michiyoshi Ohara 6/14/93

Unlikely but true, in a match with Hashimoto, Tenryu and Takashi Ishikawa the star was Michiyoshi Ohara. He start out by spitting at both WAR guys and is totally great as the firery underdog getting the shit smashed out of him. There is a great moment early in the match where Hashimoto is getting worked over, and Ohara reaches out, gets the hot tag, comes in like a house of fire, only to get obliterated by an Ishikawa elbow. We get some more tastes of nasty Tenryu v. Hashimoto, inlcuding a great fight for a brainbuster, which includes Hashimoto just popping Tenryu with a Cro Cop high kick. Ishikawa and Tenryu are guys who will beat on someone, Hashimoto is a great hot tag, and Ohara is very good here taking a beating. We have all of the elements for an excellent traditional tag wrestling match, add the additional juice of interpromotional distaste, and you get something truly excellent.

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