SEGUNDA CAIDA DECLARES WAR!! 2/8/97

 

1. Ryo Miyake vs. Tomohiro Ishii

ER: Miyake is representing Tarzan Goto, and Sensei Goto is lurking in the crowd just waiting to invade. Goto is sitting alone in Korakuen wearing a purple suit and a white collared shirt with the top buttons unbuttoned. He appears to have an entire row to himself and looks smug, and powerful. They cut to him a lot during the match and they're right to do so. Where can I get Miyake's yellow Tarzan Goto shirt? I would pay very good money for it. Miyake is representing W*ING and Tokyo Pro and Japanese sleaze in general and the Goto shirt is firing up Shinichi Nakano at ringside. Ishii has neon green tights, and a neck. 

It gets good when Miyake starts toe kicking Ishii in the back and side of the head as the latter was getting up. There hadn't been any kind of Kurisu energy and that sparked something. When they go into an elbow exchange, Ishii works his a little and Miyake just runs through him with extra pounce on impact. Ishii kind of tenaciously goes after a hammerlock and that's a cool Ishii I don't know. Ryo Miyake looks like Satanico crossed with Akitoshi Saito but in a fucked up way and not a cool way. Ishii lays out for a Dynamite Kid diving headbutt 2/3 of the way across the ring and this Ishii is so much better. Miyake throws a WAR level lariat running out of the corner. His single leg crab and Texas Cloverleaf looked back backbreaking. I don't think Dean Malenko had a better application and execution of the Cloverleaf any time in '97. I've seen fucking all of them. 

Miyake invites Tarzan Goto into the ring and he takes his time walking from the 15th row of Korakuen, carrying an attaché. Nakano and now Arashi get hot and riled up at the sight of Tarzan Goto in a perfect suit jacket looking The Most Dapper Tarzan Goto Can Look, meaning his stubble is only 6 days old. Koji Kitao comes down, Goto just leaves and holds court outside the building, taking questions on the street as he's hailing a cab. You ever seen a god? 

2. Onryo vs. Choden Senshi Battle Ranger

ER: This is going to be an exciting mess with more crashes than hits and I love it. Onryo's pescado sends him crashing to the ground in front of Battle Ranger, who is still wearing his cape because Onryo hid under the ring and jumped him. Ranger takes a great ringpost bump that looks greater because he's still wearing his big cape. Onryo is remembered for his bumps and risks but his worked punches are a lot better than you remember. He throws an excellent dropkick and is good at leaning into kicks, including Battle Ranger's missile dropkick to the floor, springing off the middle rope. Battle Ranger takes a fucking Jerry bump (!) and Onryo runs up the buckles and dives into him with a Jerry bump AS OFFENSE! It all looks great. 

All of Onryo's offense is tighter than I remembered, and Battle Ranger does little things like kick Onryo in the face hard before hitting an Asai moonsault, not just focusing on hitting the move but actually thinking about believably neutralizing his opponent before hitting it. There's an unexpected and fantastic fight over a rear waistlock, where Onryo keeps trying to kick back - hard - at Battle Ranger's legs but Ranger keeps dodging while holding the waistlock, before suplexing Onryo onto the back of his head. Battle Ranger looks like he damn near snaps Onryo's neck with a muscle buster and this whole thing started cool and kept getting better. We used to seek out WAR tapes for Ultimo Dragon matches and here are two better WAR undercard juniors in the post-Ultimo Dragon era. I don't think anyone was ever getting tapes for the Onryo or Choden Senshi Battle Ranger matches, because we didn't know anything then. Now we can change. 

3. Kamikaze vs. Atsushi Kikuchi

ER: Yume Factory mentioned. Kikuchi is a black trunks white boots no kneepads guy like Riki Choshu but with Tenzan's head. Their matwork is strong and tough, locked in, forearms across jaws. Kamikaze's moonsault has impact like 2 Cold Scorpio's. Kikuchi throws a lot of weight behind lunging elbow smashes and a dropkick, and jumps off the apron with a clothesline the way someone who wasn't totally thinking it through would do. He throws a butterfly suplex with real physics and hits a lariat even harder than Riki's. Kikuchi is one of our great post-peak lost WAR guys; a guy who was only around a few years during the WAR era with less available TV. We need the 1999 Atsushi Kikuchi handhelds. Every suplex thrown is stiff: vertical suplex with brainbuster drop, a German that snaps Kamikaze's legs over his body, a Kamikaze back suplex that was clearly meant to drop Kikuchi on his neck, with intent. Kamikaze returns the lariat from earlier and these lariats are Made in WAR, for WAR. A great lariat is the best roster prerequisite of any wrestling company in history. Kikuchi has no human idea how to take a tornado DDT but that's great because instead it just folds and crumples his body in a painful way. Kamikaze kicks him in the head a bunch after the match, after dropping him on his head with a fisherman's buster. Kamikaze knew WAR so well for a guy who didn't wrestle there very often. He was a natural fit who should have been a regular.  

4. Miho Watabe/Michiko Omukai vs. Sayuri Okino/Michiko Nagashima

ER: I don't know these women. I wasn't watching LLPW tapes in the 90s and I only know a few who have since. I know Watabe I guess. She's the one who looks like a small child. Watabe gets whipped around all over the ring by her hair and it's one of those women's wrestling spots from the 50s that can look so violent when done to a woman who is 90 pounds. Okino's snapmares are more violent but Nagashima's were quicker. Omukai has strong pinfall saves, always taking advantage of the situation and kicking Okino in the back of the head a few times, and Okino bumps nicely for Omukai's hot tag. Watabe can't get any weight behind her dropkick because she has no weight but she does it 20 or so times, spamming quantity, which is important. Omukai's dropkick hits like a joshi dropkick should, and she is very good at small things. Watabe has one good neck bridge spot that's very effective, and Nagashima is really good at hot girl dead eyed interference. She's like one of the Heathers, only with a kendo stick instead of a croquet mallet. 

5. Osamu Taitoko vs. Masakazu Fukuda

ER: WAR show giving us a sumo vs. freestyle match, which is why you watch WAR shows. Fukuda is listed as having a sumo background but wrestles with amateur single legs and pins like Takashi Sugiura or Chad Gable when he did that stuff a decade ago. Fukuda died tragically during the start of his New Japan career. Taitoko - the future Tachihikari - wants to treat him like a punk and Fukuda keeps fighting back against the charges. Fukuda tries to bulldog Taitoko and pretty soon (and pretty easily) gets him in mount with an elbow held across this throat. When they start hitting each other it's one of those great exchanges you get so consistently in WAR, as the much smaller Fukuda is fighting with speed while Taitoko punches him in the nose. Fukuda is small Sugiura, Taitoko is large Kamikaze. Taitoko hits harder and has a great standing sleeper, but Fukuda is relentless and hits a cool uranage on a very heavy man. Why do sumo guys always have such good kicks to the face? Were they all bullied and kicked in the face so much in training that they know how to deliver them naturally and pay them pay gleefully? Powerbombs are real in WAR. They are never faked. They are sincere. Fukuda keeps refusing to stay down for Taitoko's back suplex and powerbomb and chokeslam, all of which were delivered with intent, so Taitoko just clotheslines him in the back of the head and Gedo clutch's that wrestler of inferior style. 

6. Masaaki Mochizuki vs. Nobutaka Araya 

ER: 1997 Araya is still trying to do trunks and this boy is too beefy for these orange crush trunks to contain. Everybody's pants look a size too small in WAR and it's one of the best unsung features of WAR. Mochizuki throws six kicks to six different parts of Araya and they all make loud contact. Sumo vs. Kicker is going to be so damn good. It always is. The matwork is rugged, Araya is like Greg Valentine on the mat but his half crab moves into classic WAR torture. Araya is a real prick and he's so good when he wrestles as sadistic sumo Valentine. It's not enough to lock in a crunching STF, he starts pulling at the side of Mochizuki's eye with his fingers for leverage. Araya can really take - and sell - good kicks. He flies back into the ropes so convincingly and takes more than one cool bump to the floor. He also has a WAR level clothesline, per the prerequisite. His corner clothesline hits like Dr. Death, big impact. 

Araya drags Mochizuki's body through a good Korakuen brawl, throwing him down so hard on a bodyslam in the stands that some people around it reacted in real shock. His piledriver is perfect, and Mochizuki is bleeding, and bleeds even more when Araya starts throwing full force headbutts. Araya can absorb all of Mochizuki's good kicks, because he punches back so much harder. Araya starts suplexing him around like a corpse, then hits this killer running lariat and pounces into the cover, an excellent example of a man Trying to Put This Away. Araya even does a Valentine timberrrrrr bump after taking a kick to the face, and when he leans head and neck first into a springboard spinning heel kick it's an incredibly done nearfall. All the nearfalls down the stretch are great nearfalls because Araya starts spamming clotheslines and powerbombs until Mochizuki stays down. It genuinely felt like the real finish was Mochizuki taking as many of them as possible until physically incapable of lifting his body. This rocked in all ways, a near 20 minute match that kept getting stronger the longer Mochizuki persevered. 

7. Arashi/Shinichi Nakano vs. Yuji Yasuraoka/Lance Storm 

Storm and Yasuraoka are dressed like Fruit Stripe gum and they are one of the worst fucking teams of the 90s. Neither man looks like they belong in WAR and this match confirms that repeatedly. It's a minor miracle that Arashi and Nakano were able to make anything about this work, as Storm/Yasuraoka never looked like they belonged in the same ring as them. This is lavender tights/mullet era Arashi. Not to be fucked with. Lance Storm opts to fuck with him all match by hitting the worst offense in WAR history which leaves Arashi and Nakano wondering how to even acknowledge it. Imagine you're Lance Storm, coming into WAR, hitting your cartwheel clothesline and dropkicks that wouldn't budge a soul. Storm's matwork with Nakano is more interesting than watching him attempt any other offense. Are there any good mat-based Lance matches? The man was trained by one Hart brother for one day, there must be some matwork Lance out there. 

The match peaks when it's time for Storm and Yasuraoka's big comeback, where they manage to string together several pieces of offense that either miss entirely or land but wouldn't hurt a fly. It all starts when Lance slingshots himself to the floor with a cannonball...and launches himself far over Arashi's head, landing on his ass on the floor without making contact with a human body. Perhaps he was paying tribute to his partner, who tagged in early in the match with a slingshot senton that completely overshot Nakano. The two of them set up a kind of Total Elimination on Arashi that sees them both throw spinning heel kicks (Storm to the back of Arashi's head, Yasuraoka to the face) and both kicks mostly miss their target, so Arashi is left just standing there while they crash around him. Panicking, Lance follows it up with a dropkick that mostly misses and Yasuraoka has to hit a clothesline just so something finally connects with the largest man in the match who has been standing perfectly still this entire time waiting for anything to make contact with his body. 

You know who is a pretty badass tag team? Arashi and Nakano! They look like two men who should be able to effortlessly hit offense on Lance Storm and Yuji Yasuraoka, and they do! They are especially punishing to Yuji. Arashi lands heavy on elbowdrops, piledrives the man. When Nakano hits him with a brainbuster, Arashi comes in just to stomp him in the head, as it should be. Arashi is such a beast. He hits a big boy frog splash and an awesome nodowa otoshi where he lifts Yasuraoka up by the rear waist of his rights, then slams him forward by the throat. It's brutal having to see Lance Storm try and break up their offense to save Yasuraoka, because we are forced as a viewer to have to pretend a Lance Storm forearm had the power to knock Nakano off the apron. We are forced, as fans of wrestling, to treat Storm's silly leap to top buckle back elbow as a thing that could move a man. It's foolish. I liked how they finished Yasuraoka, him charging straight into a powerslam upon tagging in, Arashi giving him a couple powerbombs on a hard part of the ring, then finishing the job with a twisting frog splash. 

I don't know why WAR fans accepted these Fruit Stripe goofs. 

8. Genichiro Tenryu/Koki Kitahara/Tatsuo Nakano vs. Koji Kitao/Nobukazu Hirai/Hiroshi Hatanaka

ER: Not to the level of the highest of high end WAR trios, but the same kind of memorable as the best WAR trios. What made this match great, is Tenryu working simultaneously as the aace of the promotion babyface AND as a shitheel cheap shot artist. Tenryu is the god king of the promotion, the chairman, yet all match he's taking cheap shots whenever he can, kicking guys in the eye to break up pins, directing his boy Kitahara to do the same shit, that air of unprofessionalism running rampant. It is incredible to see Tenryu both humbled by Kitao, and act as a guy who doesn't want Kitao around. He cheap shots him, and takes liberties with Nobukazu Hirai just because the boy happened to be teaming with Kitao. It leads to the best parts of the match. 

Every Tenryu/Hirai interaction is good. Hirai has the fucking nerve to powerbomb him and Tenryu gets up pissed and starts kicking him in the face, then punching him in the face and eye. Tenryu tells Kitahara to do the same, so Kitahara tags in to kick Hirai in the face, but it's not hard enough so Tenryu comes back to show Kitahara how to kick Hirai in the face while Hirai is downed. Learning from the master, Kitahara tags back in and he throws even harder kicks at Hirai's head and face. This is the kind of wrestling storytelling I can follow and understand. We are all here for Nobukazu Hirai getting kicked in the face any time he steps over the plane of the ropes. It enrages Kitao while offering us nothing but joy. 

This is also a match that makes us ask the question, "Was Koji Kitao getting good at this?" The more he worked, the more his in ring confidence grew, the better he looked in the ring. This is one of those matches that highlighted his upside that was always there. How could there not be upside in a tall, 300+ pound disgraced sumo who can't control his anger? Kitao, in his large yellow pants and large yellow exposed breasts, attempted to mock Tenryu, and I loved all the exchanges between Kitao/Tenryu and Kitao/Kitahara. Kitao actually looked surprised at the fight Kitahara brought to him, as Kitahara came with hard leg kicks, and kept kicking at his legs after Kitao got dropped to a knee. When he has him suitably ripened, he tags Tenryu in, and the fireworks get bigger. Tenryu hits an enziguiri and cannonball, and you know it's good because Tenryu does that thing where he gets to his feet pumping his fist...only to turn around directly into a hard Kitao clothesline, then gets to feel what a fat boy senton really feels like. As Tenryu is recovering on the floor from his flattening, Kitao hits a baseball slide dropkick....and that is when it is officially Okay to ask if Koji Kitao Turned Actually Good in February 1997, and dare yourself to go back deeper to find any earlier moment that compares. 

The breakdown of the finish is excellent stuff, as we knew it was going to come down to Kitao and Tenryu going full unleashed on the other, and they do. Kitao is completely unmoved by two punches to the nose and rocks Tenryu with a right. Kitao walks through Tenryu's punches and throws great jabs, and anything Tenryu tries Kitao just spam blocks with kneelifts. Tenryu, getting nowhere, hilariously tags in sacrificial lamb Nakano, who gets immediately BURIED by a Kitao sitout tombstone. With Kitao distracted by a different body, Cheapshot Babyface Tenryu comes in and starts kicking Kitao in the face to chase him from the ring and bring the weaker members into the fray, because he is great at slapping and clotheslining Hirai and Hatanaka around. Tenryu's whole team is great at kicking and clotheslining and powerbombing Hatanaka. When the clear weak link of the match manages to hit Tenryu with a missile dropkick, all it does it back Tenryu into the ropes, giving him momentum to wreck him with a clothesline. This was a WAR heavyweights main event, driven by complicated relationships and in-fighting that we wouldn't understand but is tangible in all actions. 

THE COMPLETE SEGUNDA CAIDA DECLARES WAR!

Read more!

Found Footage Friday: SEGUNDA CAIDA DECLARES WAR!!! Matches from WAR-ISM 11/11/93

Full Show 11/11/93 Handheld

 

1. Ultimo Dragon vs. Dan Sileo

ER: Is this the same Dan Sileo who was a football player and lame sports talk host on Bay Area's KNBR in the 2000s? I didn't know his football career but I remember him on KNBR, but it can't be the same guy. That guy was a defensive lineman and this guy doesn't look that much larger than Ultimo, but whoever it is, this True Blue Rex Kwon Do practitioner really adapted to pro wrestling almost shockingly well. I thought this was great, and I loved every part of it. Sileo has a gaudy stars and stripes gi and, while I know the Danny McBride strip mall karate guy is an easy and well-used reference at this point, goddamn is this guy just the millionth strip mall karate guy to look exactly like that. 

I loved the way they kept advancing this. The leg work was really cool, with nasty heel hooks off caught kicks, and a cool deathlock where Sileo was applying different kinds of pressure and then even ripped his gi off before rolling through the deathlock (which I don't think I've seen before?). When he got frustrated and threw a chair into the ring, Ultimo did incline push-ups off the chair and then had the ref hold his ankles down while he did a couple sit ups. Everything had nice snap to it, from things like (both men's) chops, to a super impactful version of Dragon's handspring elbow, to all of the kicks everyone threw. Sileo had an impressive command on selling, too. I was really impressed when Dragon whiffed on a spinning heel kick over Sileo's head, and he knew not to bother selling it and instead went right after Dragon. That's not an instinct most heavily trained wrestlers would have. Sileo broke out a majistral that looked as impressive as any I've ever seen Ultimo do, and the two counts down the stretch were all incredibly well done and worked through. This is the first time I've seen Dan Sileo and I am now honestly wondering how Dan Sileo didn't become a bigger star. This man understands pro wrestling, has great instincts, and is incredibly entertaining. This man takes a German suplex high up on his shoulders and somehow has great suplex selling? Who the hell is this guy? 

There is an incredible moment when Sileo is whipped into the buckles and does this awesome cocky flip over the top to the floor, landing on his feet, posing for the crowd, and by the time he turns around thinking he had evaded Ultimo, Dragon was already doing a suicide dive past the ring post into him. I did not think we'd be seeing Ultimo hitting a dive onto a some karate guy, trusting some strip mall karate guy to catch a high speed tope, a high speed tope that is already well in motion when Sileo is facing away from Dragon. This spot was timed so well, it was somehow a great catch, and Sileo was able to be facing away for most of it and turn around just in time to be annihilated. The most seasoned wrestler you know will never look this natural while waiting to catch a blind dive. I am going to need to write about more Dan Sileo matches. Complete & Accurate Bonecrusher Sileo coming soon!

PAS: Rewatching WAR over the years, I have been pretty underwhelmed by the Ultimo Dragon matches, but I guess I just needed to see him working ex-NFL linemen in Gi's rather than juniors matches where he's being outclassed by luchadors. Loved this, an awesome weirdo fight, with Ultimo ruling and Sileo being really fun too. Loved Ultimo doing pushups on the thrown in chair and hitting a wild tope on Sileo while he was celebrating. Sileo's entire shtick was great, he took a German suplex right on his neck and hit a cool jumping La Magistral. I really need to see Sileo work Dave Taylor and Ulf Hermann in Germany, and I really wish that Ultimo got a chance to work Jerry Flynn on a WCW Pro or something. 

2. Nobukazu Hirai vs. Shigekazu Tajiri

ER: This was a rounds match between a gi guy and a pro wrestler, and the best parts of this had the bad blood that we all associate with pro wrestlers vs. gi guys. There were multiple moments, in the first round especially, where it was clear that Tajiri did not want to cooperate, which is a best case scenario for a match like this. A couple of things got crossed up, Hirai grabbed Tajiri aggressively by the gi lapels, and then you had Hirai forcing his way into a shoot northern lights suplex and shoot bodyslam with Tajiri very clearly trying his hardest to sandbag. Hirai had started all this chippiness by throwing a playful kick at Tajiri when the former was entering the ring for the match, and that energy kept coming back, like when one of the rounds ended and Hirai kicked Tajiri in the ass on the latter's trip back to his corner. Not all the kicks land, and that plays to the match's benefit, as one of the best moments is Tajiri suckering Hirai into doing a spinning heel kick and just ducking it, then kicking Hirai in the face. Hirai does some great cocky shit like throwing a couple of German suplexes and then standing on Tajiri's neck, then deciding to let the ref count Tajiri down for a potential KO. I don't think the submission or kicks in this worked as well as the ones in Dragon vs. Sileo, but the 3rd round build was satisfying, and I liked Tajiri increasing the use of spinning heel kicks down the stretch. His (surprise) winning spinning heel kick looked Hashimoto level.

3. Masao Orihara vs. Satoshi Kojima

ER: I have a feeling there are a LOT of unseen or unheralded classics in the WAR vs. NJPW feud and this is ranks with the best of them. This was the only time Orihara and Kojima wrestled each other, and brother, I don't know why that is but based on this match alone they seem to fucking hate each other. These two are total assholes to each other for over 10 minutes, egging each other on into really violent match that stayed within a pro wrestling framework, just a really stiff constantly-verging-on-unprofessional pro wrestling match. The fans chant for Orihara at the bell, but after Kojima refuses a handshake and instead slaps him and German suplexes him on his head before the bell, then throws elbows as hard as possible and dumps him with a powerbomb, and the fans start chanting KOJIMA. 

Every single thing in this match was thrown with the intention to hurt, and there were a ton of great moments that looked like they were luring each other into fully committing to a move only to pull the rug out at the last possible moment. Kojima goes for his elbowdrop and lands teeth first into Orihara's boots, but the elbow was thrown with the confidence of someone who never thought his face would meet boots. Orihara does a pescado into nothing and his body does not look like someone who expected to be diving into an empty pool. They manage to make missed dropkick and sidestepped spinning heel kick spots look good, because every single thing done in this match was thrown with real intent. Orihara's leg work and heel hooks were as violent as anything you'd see in a Fujiwara fed, with the holds really sunk in. You could see how suctioned he was to Kojima's leg when Kojima was trying to yank away like he was in a bear trap but Orihara's grip only tightened, so Kojima had to start throwing legit strikes to desperately try to force some kind of break. 

It's tough to find cool examples of no-sold piledrivers but I'll have to tip my cap to them here, because this was it. Orihara spikes Kojima on the top of his head with a classic Lawler piledriver and Kojima rises to his feet and attempts to cripple Orihara with a Tombstone like he was Undertaker working Hogan in 1973 PRIDE. Orihara responds by spiking Kojima even harder with another Lawler piledriver, and brother, it feels okay to throw selling out the window when your neck is suffering this much real impact. These were piledrivers thrown by men who wanted to just feel something. No move is guaranteed to land, and it doesn't stop either man from throwing everything with full conviction, and yet the whole match maintains a vibe of "worked pro wrestling" while also feeling like both guys are sneaking in offense that the other wasn't expecting. It sure didn't look like Orihara was expected to be dumped on the back of his head by a couple different suplexes, and it sure didn't look like Kojima expected to take two boots up kicked into his chin....and yet it also seems like both guys fully expect it? Let me tell you, *I* did not expect Orihara to hit his insane moonsault over the ringpost to the floor, because I cannot imagine the level of trust it took in Kojima - a man who had not felt trustworthy at any part of this match - to even think about hitting that moonsault. Orihara wins by kicking Kojima in the eye and rolling him up with la majistral, and Kojima is so pissed after that he starts punching Orihara, and Orihara just leaves the ring, no selling all of the punches as he goes. YES!!

4. Arashi vs. Yuji Yasuraoka

ER: Arashi is in his mask and just poured into his bicycle shorts. He looks like a dream scenario where they brought in Giant Brazo as part of Los Brazos. He is humongous, and his tits are spectacular. This was short but entertaining, with Yasuraoka throwing kicks as hard as fast as he can but none of them ever phasing Arashi, so Arashi just lets the man kick him for a bit and then just starts throwing him around the way a large sumo would throw around a smaller man, with years of training and muscle memory behind the throws. The finish is great, as Arashi absorbs kicks and decides to let Yuji know what striking is really like, and so bullies him into the corner with open hand sumo thrusts and I swear, Arashi is just palm striking Yasuraoka's head back and forth between his open hands like he was forming a pizza dough. Arashi wins the match with two headlock takeovers, locking his arm around Yasuraoka's neck so tightly and then rolling over with his own large body with such force that it looks like he's trying to pop Yuji's head off his own body like a Barbie doll. 

5. Great Kabuki vs. Tommy Rich

ER: Tommy Rich still comes out to REO Speedwagon's "Roll With the Changes" in 1993 and it's hard not to think of this song within the context of Tommy Rich's life. 23 years old, making towns around Georgia in his Ford Fairmont, waiting to see if there's another radio single off You Can Tune a Piano But You Can't Tuna Fish before committing to buying the 8-track. Rich and Kabuki go way back and worked each other several times over the preceding decade, but it's hard not to be disappointed with this match. You could not call this a bad match, but on this card it kinda was. I love Tommy Rich kneeling on the inside of Kabuki's leg and throwing worked elbow strikes, complaining to the ref about hair pulls and shit, but this was a show where every match so far has had moments where someone almost got knocked out and moments where guys were actively trying to knock the other out, so the bar had been raised pretty high over the first half of the show. The final stretch of this was great, when Rich blasts Kabuki with a stiff clothesline and a perfect fistdrop off the middle buckle, and Kabuki starts throwing knee trembling thrusts to Rich's throat, but Rich losing to a small package is going to feel like a downer after the violence that had taken place in every match prior. 

6. Black Cat vs. Hiromichi Fuyuki

PAS: Total out of nowhere classic. This was a lumberjack match and part of the WAR vs. NJ feud, with Black Cat coming in as a New Japan stalwart and trainer to take on Fuyuki. Just a pair of barrel chested bruisers clocking each other with clotheslines and hard punishing shots, each one a little further then it was supposed to go. Cat, for example, cracked Fuyuki right in the eye with a short elbow and Fuyuki responded by splitting his head open on a turnbuckle bolt. Cat then proceeds to lose blood at an alarming rate, leaving stains over the mat. Cat fought valiantly, but eventually was felled by a pair of super nasty looking powerbombs. Hard nosed violent WAR style stuff, just an ugly treat to watch.

ER: The WAR/NJPW feud has produced some of the most agreeably great matches ever, an incredible success rate, unparalleled heat, and this show has two more of them that we've never seen. Orihara/Kojima and Black Cat/Fuyuki are completely different matches and completely great additions to the WAR/NJPW legend. The latter has great blood and is much more punch based, the former is two guys doing pro wrestling moves as stiff as possible. It's wild that the one with juniors and without blood is more violent, but even without blood the hate was palpable. This match felt less like hatred, and more like a great bloody pro wrestling dramatic-selling brawl. This was long, nearly 20, and I don't think the holds moved the match along as well as Orihara's leg attacks did, but this was a bloody match between two brick shithouses cracking jaws, and we don't have to choose a favorite. This was also a Lumberjack Death match, and I wish I knew all the things that went into these two needing a Lumberjack Death match. WAR really wasn't a gimmick match fed, choosing instead the superior gimmick pairings. Who needs stipulation matches when you can just team weird guys up against each other? 

Fuyuki looked like the best version of Takeshi Morishima, or perhaps a more accurate comp to Gordy than Morishima was. This felt like the most violent version of a classic Crusher match, two guys with barrel torsos throwing hooking punches across each other's jaws and throwing clotheslines set to smash. Fuyuki's diving clotheslines were engulfing, blowing through Cat with insane closing speed. Black Cat threw short elbows across Fuyuki's temple and Fuyuki threw down right back, and whenever it threatened to spill into the middle of warring WAR vs. New Japan Lumberjacks, it only got better. This feud was so perfect, because everybody involved on both sides of it was a total asskicker, and everybody seemed like they really fucking hated each other. Satoshi Kojima acted like a fucking asshole to Orihara, Tenryu trolled Tatsumi Fujinami so hard earlier in the show that Fujinami got Actually Upset and ripped off his suit jacket while needing neck tendon flaring restraint from Manabu Nakanishi. Tommy Rich and Bonecrusher Dan Sileo are left looking like cornered southerners trying to stay between the WAR gang and New Japan crew whenever Fuyuki got an asshole smirk across his face and threw Cat into the fellers. The blood came midway when Cat got run face first into a turnbuckle bolt, and Fuyuki must have sent the sole of his boot into Cat's cutout least eight times. Black Cat wobbled his legs and fought back and Fuyuki managed to dominate and make Cat bleed out without coming off like a bad guy, instead looking like a man representing his cause. Sometimes a 30 year handheld shows up online and when you're done watching it you can say that you've seen upper echelon Kodo Fuyuki, Satoshi Kojima, Masao Orihara, and Black Cat performances, and everything feels right. 

7. Koki Kitahara/Super Strong Machine vs. Heisei Ishingun (Kengo Kimura/Tatsutoshi Goto)

ER: This is a really cool tag that brings together four guys who I think are almost always universally underrated as workers. Out of these four, I think Kengo Kimura probably gets the most respect as a worker, and when was the last time you saw literally anybody talking about how much they love the career of Kengo Kimura? Super Strong Machine is the best possible Bison Smith, throwing nothing but hard elbows and clotheslines and slams, Vince McMahon's idea of a perfect wrestler in 1977, and I don't think I've ever not been entertained by a SSM match. Koki Kitahara is a WAR punk through and through, and it gave this match a fun dynamic, as he was the one WAR guy in with three NJPW guys, with Strong Machine the guy who's playing both sides without acting passionate allegiance to either side. So This match was all about three of these guys having a tough but professional tag, while Kitahara tried to get under everyone's skin before eventually succeeding in doing just that. Everyone else has no problem throwing spirited elbows and clotheslines but Kitahara's the one kicking people in the eye and throwing kicks at knees, with Kimura's Red Gi crew yelling at him from the floor only causing him to act like more of a pudgy punk. It all escalates when Masashi Aoyagi gets on the apron to try to settle him down, and Kitahara chooses to go after AOYAGI with a chair! Kitahara is enough of a crazed asshole to go after AOYAGI with a chair and you just have to love and appreciate a psycho like that. I love how Kitahara finally gets Kimura to snap, kicking at him mockingly while he's down, and getting the vet all riled up until Super Strong Machine can't save him. I loved Aoyagi sneaking in at the finish to hit Kitahara with a spinning heel kick to set up the finish, and thought the tag unsurprisingly kicked ass. 

8. Genichiro Tenryu vs. Ashura Hara

PAS: This delivered everything you want from this matchup on paper. A pair of guys built like sacks of flour chopping, lariating and headbutting each other in unsafe and violent ways. Not a lot of fancy moves, although Tenryu did hit a enzigiri right to Hara's eye and cheek, but just crazy violent shots. I love how Tenryu just lets his chops float. At one point he catches Hara right in the trachea and the ref looks at him like "c'mon man I am just trying to do my job." Hara doesn't back down at all either, laying in some really meaty clonking headbutts, and sick lariats right into the clavicle. This is WAR as WAR gets.

ER: I always associate Hara with Tenryu. Hara was the longest term Tenryu tag partner in Revolution, left All Japan at first opportunity to join him in SWS and then retired in WAR in 1994. Hara is a Tenryu guy, and that means that we really don't have many Tenryu/Hara singles matches. I think they had less than 5, and I'm sure this is the only one I've actually seen. This is Tenryu VERSUS Hara and that is an incredibly cool thing. And this really is the exact thing you would want from a Tenryu/Hara match, which is two best friends trying to urge the other one to hit them harder and harder, except you've never had a friend who wanted you to hit them harder and harder because we've never done competitive sumo. Tenryu and Hara hit each other so fucking hard in this match and I've never known another person in my life who could hit somebody this hard. WAR Hara is the fattest Hara which makes him the coolest Hara, and he looks even cooler when Tenryu runs into him incredibly hard with a shoulderblock and then drops his shoulder and winces hard and shakes out that limp arm after Hara doesn't budge an inch. 

After Tenryu hurts his shoulder on Hara's torso and Hara didn't even give him the liberty of acting like he had even been touched, Tenryu makes it his match long mission to make Hara lose sensation in at least one of his arms. These two are old ass running buddies and if you are old sumo running buddies that means that sometimes one of you will get chopped over and over in the neck and slapped insanely hard across the face. Hara does his best to not budge whenever Tenryu hits him and is shockingly successful, and none of us can ever comprehend how hard Ashura Hara has been hit in his life, and how hard he has hit people. You have to get hit in the face and neck an absurd number of times to be able to take six straight chops to the neck from Genichiro Tenryu without registering any pain. Hara is able to walk through a shocking amount of pain to repeatedly murder Tenryu with his perfect lariat, but Tenryu drops him to his knees with a chop right to the throat. The only time I even notice the referee in the match, is after that throat chop when he steps up to Tenryu like "hey man that guy is your best friend." Hara can't use one of his arms his whole chest and neck and shoulder is all purple bruising just a few minutes in, so he has to just spam Tenryu with lariats from the arm he can lift. When he keeps hitting Tenryu in the ropes as hard as he can, he gets a full head of steam for a killshot and flies hard through the ropes to the floor when Tenryu just drops to the ground as his only possible defense. Hara's sell of Tenryu's enziguiri is more perfection, taking it to the teeth and crumbling to his chest and knees, butt up in the air. 

Imagine the ways these two could have surpassed Ikeda and Ishikawa if only their friendship was just a little bit different. I'm glad we got them murdering each other a few times over the span of their Revolution. 

Read more!

Found Footage Friday: MASAMI~! KANDORI~! TENRYU~! FUYUKI~! TIGER~! LEWIN~?!

Devil Masami vs. Shinobu Kandori JWP 1/16/89

MD: I'm missing some context on this one as most of the Kandori I've seen was later on, but there's a lot you can pick up from the text alone. The first couple of minutes of the match were about her making herself seen by Masami. She starts by putting out a hand only for Masami to refuse to shake it. They lock up but Masami overpowers her and casually hits her with a butterfly suplex, really just dropping her. So Kandori works her into the ropes on the next lock up and starts to slap her repeatedly. After the first, Masami sees her, and after the third or fourth she really sees her. Kandori got what she wanted but soon learns to regret it as Masami powers her immediately into a dangerous back drop, but Kandori was ready to take the punishment and is able to maneuver her into a crossface chicken wing and by that point, they have a real match going (Masami gets out by biting Kandori's wrist and Kandori answers with kicks to the spine, if you were wondering just what sort of match).

The beating that followed was fairly hellacious and one-sided. Kandori would occasionally slip out, pry off a leg, and try to do some damage, but even then Masami eventually had enough and tried to tear apart Kandori's leg for revenge. They went back and forth as the match went on, but always with Masami having a clear advantage, and always with Kandori having to slip out and over to get in a bomb of her own. Usually that came in the form of going back to the leg. Meanwhile, every big impact was made all the more thunderous by Kandori leaning in as hard as humanly possible. Her selling was consistent pain. Masami's on the other hand, appeared when it was most meaningful, especially as they rushed to the finish. Again, I can't put this thing in context, but on its own it stands up extremely well.

Genichiro Tenryu vs. Hiromichi Fuyuki WAR 11/8/93

MD: Tenryu and Fuyuki were stablemates here, but I think even more so than that, they were two guys who knew each other so well in the ring, even if they hadn't matched up all that many times. Fuyuki knew everything about Tenryu and that's why he got dirty first with a stomp and a suplex and holds. He knew he had to in order to get the advantage he needed. Likewise, there was such subsequent tension when Tenryu escaped and had his back, had him up against the ropes. You, the viewer, like Fuyuki, the about-to-be victim, knew the other shoe was about to drop. It was just exactly when and how and Tenryu wrestled as if he was acutely aware of that tension and anticipation.

And the payoff came, because it was inevitable. A shoulder block and a series of these peppering, flicking kicks. The price sufficiently paid, Tenryu was happy to settle back into a Greco-Roman knucklelock but Fuyuki was going to keep stepping over the line (as he must if he was to have any chance at victory and to prove his worth as a man. And Tenryu was there over and again to put him back in his place as only he could. It was when Fuyuki finally pushed Tenryu, finally got him to go for the second rope elbow instead of reverting back to another knucklelock that he was able to capitalize, but even that couldn't last for long, for Tenryu was always back up, always rushing back at him clothesline or powerbomb or a simple shove onto the back of his head at the ready. Still, Fuyuki was no longer a young man. He had size and resilience and an understanding of his mentor's techniques and he hung even in the face of the storm, right up until the point that it blew him away. But not before reaffirming Tenryu's respect for him, however, and maybe that was all that really mattered in the end.

Super Tiger vs. Mark Lewin UWF 9/8/84

MD: If you look at the list of foreigners in UWF (even early UWF), Lewin has to be up there as one of the oddest stylistically. There are Takada and Maeda matches that I've never seen (and I have seen Meltzerian claims that Takada's win over Lewin was a big deal for Takada and UWF, but all I can say for sure is that Phil didn't like it much); I really need to go back for those but this one was pretty out there. Lewin didn't change up his act in the least. It began with Super Tiger throwing a lightning fast kick and Lewin recoiling back wondering just what he had gotten into and it doesn't really look back. Lewin sells all of Tiger's holds like he's wrestling Dusty in Florida, big broad selling. Late in the match he even lets himself get tossed off the top rope. The best bit of that is when the tiger feint gets him in the face and he starts climbing the guardrail in fury. On offense, he's clubbering with stomps, throwing ridiculous karate chops, and yes, gets behind Tiger with the dreaded nervehold. And Sayama is left to try to figure out if he's going to break the illusion by not selling or if he's going to break the illusion by selling. He chooses the latter and I'm not at all sure it was the right decision. The finish, both impressive and merciful is Super Tiger actually getting him up for the tombstone and after the match Lewin goes full maniac and starts dismantling the ring. All of this left me wishing we had the Fujiwara matches from this tour, but I doubt they were as bizarre as this.

Read more!

SEGUNDA CAIDA DECLARES WAR: WAR 6/20/99

WAR 6/20/1999

Masao Orihara vs. Tomohiro Ishii

SR: Both these guys were pretty great in the late 90s, so I was pretty salty about this being clipped down just a couple minutes. Ishii was a wreckingball during this period, but Orihara easily outstiffes him trying to crack his jaw with lariats. We also get Ishii working Orihara over with chairs and whiping him out with a crazy rolling senton to the outside. Fun stuff but I wanted atleast 3/4ths of the thing.

Nihao vs. Koki Kitahara

SR: This was a CAPTURE showcase match and holy fuck after this I‘d kill to get the entire CAPTURE back catalogue. Brutal brutal match, just the most primitive grimy shootstyle you can imagine, two  guys with gloves trying to pummel each other into oblivion. Nihao takes Kitahara down and bloodies him with punches and headbutts, but the boss comes back just trying to crush his face with punches and teeth loosening kicks. There was one spinkick that would‘ve made Daisuke Ikeda wince, and also at one point Kitahara reverses a takedown into an armlock that looked to almost tear Nihaos shoulder. They showed 4 out of 6 minutes, and really would it have killed them to include those 2 minutes? Still 80 % of a sick spectacle is better than most, and those 4 minutes were some of the most insane of the year.

Ryuma Go vs. Thunder Warrior Alpha

SR: I respect Tenryu's tendency to bring in Go to squish random aliens. This was clipped to almost nothing but we got to see Go acting crazy and destroying the alien.

Genichiro Tenryu/Magnum TOKYO vs. Nobutaka Araya/Sumo Fuji

SR: The boss is involved, so we got the full match here. Didn‘t know what to expect from this, but it ends up a really entertaining match thanks to Tenryuisms. Basically Sumo Fuji acts like a big shot and annoys Tenryu some and ends up paying for it. Also really liked Araya as a scuzzy guy potatoing Magnum TOKYO. Toryumon guys also looked solid in their sections against each other, and TOKYO hit a pretty great top rope asai moonsault amongst other things. Loved Tenryu here, I think he didn‘t even take a back bump but pretty much carried the match by being a prick, as he usually does.

Osamu Tachihikari/Arashi vs. Daikokubo Benkei/Ichiro Yaguchi

SR:We get about 30 seconds of this and I am not bummed at all about that. I liked Tachihikari busting out random move like an STO and a Magistral.

Yuji Yasuraoka/Masaaki Mochizuki vs. Super Delfin/Naohiro Hoshikawa

SR: This was 4 solid pro wrestlers doings lots of solid pro wrestling, building to a pretty exciting second half. WAR reckless kicker Mochizuki ruled, I am just going to pretend he retired after WAR folded. He had some pretty great exchanges with Hoshikawa here, and I loved him flying into the scenery out of nowhere to take out people with spin kicks. Delfin & Hoshikawa worked well together and it was cool to see them acting as a crew. For some reason, juniors getting dumped on their heads or diving around the place was a lot more satisfying to watch in the 90s.

Masaaki Mochizuki vs. Yuji Yasuraoka

SR: I guess Mochizuki wasn‘t happy with Yasuraoka's performance in that tag, so he gets on the mic to challenge Yasuraoka to a singles. Yasuraoka then proceeds to hit his awesome dive, getting insane height, and we get a fun short explosion of them throwing bombs at each other. Wouldn‘t have minded if this went longer, but they just did a 17 minute long match before so it made sense for this to be short and intense.

Shigeo Okumura/Sambo Asako/Atsushi Onita vs. Nobutaka Araya/Genichiro Tenryu/Shoji Nakamaki

SR: Exactly what it looks like on paper: Six tubby asskickers brawling all over the place, bleeding and pasting each other with chairs and lariats. That plus the megastar charisma of Tenryu and Onita. Tenryu is such an awesome menace here, punching people in the face and chucking chairs at them. Him vs. Terry Funk would’ve been one hell of a program. Then again, Tenryu  was pretty much untouchable at this point in his career. Onita & Asako looked pretty much like regular guys at this point, which made Asako getting abused by Tenryu feel all the more violent. Okumura was in charge with bringing a slight bit of workrate to the match and he did fine, hitting a pretty stiff dropkick. Very predictable match but all too fun.

Read more!

New Footage Friday: WE DECLARE WAR!!! 6/25/93

WAR 6/25/93

This is a six match series with WAR vs. Heisei Ishingun. Sort of a border skirmish in the WAR vs. NJ conflict, with Koshinaka's band of outsiders taking on a group of WAR defenders. Weird show, having a WAR card in 93 with no Tenryu, but tubby interpromotional asskicking is about the best thing in wrestling and this had it in spades

Show starts with sort of a drawing of straws to set up the match ups


Koki Kitahara vs. Kuniaki Kobayashi

PAS: This was the longest of the matches on the show, and goes into several different phases, all of them pretty great. It opens with both guys throwing taters at each other, they spill to the floor and wildly fling chairs. One of the things that made this match so great is the raggedness of it. There isn't very many smooth exchanges, and lots of the time they are just grabbing each other by the hair and sneaking in punches and headbutts. Large parts of this feel  bar fight, where both guys are a little unskilled and a little unsteady. I loved Kobayashi just throwing multiple fisherman's suplexes and not going for the pin and Kitahara's dickish little kicks to the head. Finish was cool with Kitahara DDTing Kobayashi on the floor, rolling him in and locking in a bodyscissors sleeper for a but until Kobayashi passes out, it wasn't really a dramatic pass out, and it almost felt like a questionable UFC stoppage, I loved the shoving and the "hold me back" from both camps. Thought it worked really well for the opening of a series like this.

MD: I love the dissonance of a tug of war rolling right into this match. It's a twenty minute match that's almost entirely uncooperative all the way through, which feels pretty long for this sort of thing. It's brutal and it's great. Kitahara took the brunt of this, coming off like an absolute killer, with nasty headbutts, chair shots, and kicks, but throughout most of it, he couldn't really lock in a hold. Midway through Kobayashi comes back with these amazing running headbutts, really just a momentum-laden collision and then finally locks in a leglock which feels like a big deal given the struggle up to there. They roll into the finishing stretch not long after with Kitahara hitting a German, Northern Lights, and Backdrop Driver all in a row. It felt like a clear moment of escalation which means Kobayashi popping up almost immediately thereafter to hit three fisherman's suplexes of his own felt a little unearned. It was somewhat forgivable due to the unclear death match rules but it did take me out of the match a bit. Thankfully, it set up the further escalation with the three DDTs on the floor and the rear naked choke to close it all out so it more or less worked out in the end. Anyway, the sheer brutality more than makes up for that. What a way to start a show.

Ashura Hara vs. Akitoshi Saito

ER: Tenryu may not be on this show (which is weird for a WAR show, but I see Tenryu worked a Hashimoto singles match a week before this show and then didn't work again for a month, so taking a month off work after 20 minutes opposite Hash does make sense) but Hara is clearly the Tenryu proxy as he works this match almost exactly like I think Tenryu would have, and even has a bunch of great Tenryu selling moments. It's almost as if Hara was ALSO great or something. This is the kind of match you want out of a WAR/NJ showdown, Hara roughing up the relative newbie, beating him down with chairshots on the floor and lariats to the neck, and there's a great moment where you hear the buzz of the crowd building as they anticipate Saito finally hitting his first big spinkick of the match. Hara is running to set up a killshot lariat, and the crowd knows exactly the mistake he's making, and Saito hits that spinning heel kick that is arguably the best spinning heel kick of anyone who does a spinning heel kick, and that sets up the next several minutes of Saito kicking Hara a TON. Hara's selling of Saito's kicks is downright lordly. He leans into brutal baseball bat shots to the chest, Saito comes off the ropes with a punch right to the guy that sends Hara staggering beautifully into the ropes. Saito stops him in his tracks with a couple high kicks, throws a couple of crescent kicks that glance off Hara's temple (loved Hara's selling of a glancing blow) and Hara gets literally moved back on his feet like a tackling dummy by a couple of Saito lariats. We get a couple great moments of Hara eating kicks and occasionally catching one, only able to toss Saito away to get a couple seconds or reprieve before eating more kicks. And the longer Saito kicked him I knew Hara wasn't just going to just keep getting kicked and NOT pay him back for it, and when we got to the Hara payback it delivered. Hara throws the three meanest kicks of the entire match, one to Saito's ribs and two more right to the face - the kind of thing that would make Futen main eventers blush - and then gets to show off a couple more lariats of his own. This is the match I want to see when I sit down to watch WAR.

MD: Great, straightforward nine minute match. Hara's initial demolishing of Saito was great, straight up to the nonchalance in his nasty clotheslines and chairshots. I liked how he kept tossing him out of the ring. There was just so much personality to the violence. Saito's comeback spin kick was a thing of beauty. I'm a sucker for matches that can turn on a dime on one big move like that. Speaking of personality, Saito losing the gi and then posing before every kick like he was charging up was definitely memorable and seemed to work for the crowd. Hara willfully absorbing kicks (gritting through) is a much preferred method of selling than just eating three suplexes with no real effect and the finishing flurry of clotheslines felt like the inevitable destination the match had to go.

PAS: This was pretty much a poor man's Tenryu vs. a poor man's Hashimoto, but you can match up poor man's versions of those two and have it still be fucking incredible. I loved Hara hurling Saito to the floor and plastering him with chairs, Saito's big spin kick was incredible, and he really leaned into those body kicks, those are the kind of things which would turn ribs into popcorn. Hara just grumping his way out and chucking lariats was great stuff too, I love a larait to the back of the head and Hara was just cracking Saito with them. WAR as fuck.

Masashi Aoyagi vs. Super Strong Machine

ER: I both liked this, and was disappointed by this. I didn't love the layout, there were a couple dodgy moments from Aoyagi, and the finish is literally the exact same finish as the Hara/Saito match that happened right before this match. What I liked, is further evidence that Super Strong Machine may be one of the more under discussed ass kickers of this era. He is not flashy, his offense is simple, but he executes the offense with a Finlayesque reasonable recklessness, hitting his body slams hard, sitting down fast on his piledriver, throwing running and standing lariats with a full arm, the kind of guy with a vertical suplex you can set your watch to. He's a real bully in this, beating Aoyagi through the crowd and battering him with a chair. Now that I think about it maybe the entire layout of this match is a lesser executed version of Hara/Saito. But SSM is a fun smotherer, I can really get into a guy with a nice headlock or chinlock, and he really looks like he's hooking that arm to suffocate Aoyagi. Aoyagi throwing fast kicks over his head to escape was a great touch. Aoyagi's kick section isn't as nice as Saito's, he even whiffs a kick over SSM's head by several inches, but he hits a couple really nice rolling kicks and I always love his out of control corner spinkick that ends him spilling to the apron. The leaping knee to the back of Strong Machine's head is just icing. It is strange to me that Machine finishes this in the exact same way as Hara, even bouncing off the same ropes in the same order. And the match had flaws, but really played as a nice Super Strong Machine showcase for me, made me want to dive into some more.

MD: Context has an impact on this one. As a standalone match, it was definitely good, but following the two matches that it followed, it came up a bit lacking. I liked the opening exchange with Aoyagi rushing SSM and the paralleled violence on the outside, though the punctuation of the DDT on concrete felt like it came a bit early, especially considering how it was used to end the first match. I suppose it did set the stage for Aoyagi working from underneath for most of the rest of the match, though with no particular focused selling. I like SSM because he stands out relatively with the clubbering and power moves and presence, but I don't necessarily want to see Aoyagi fighting from underneath because his stuff is so good (like that knee to the back of the skull off the ropes!). The best parts of this was when they were going toe-to-toe and there just wasn't enough of that. At least Aoyagi got to take it out on the ref after the match. Again, still good, just not "this card" great.

PAS: I agree with Matt and Eric, this basically felt like the same match we just saw, just not as great. I dug chunks of this, Aoyagi is a C+A guy, one of our all time favorites, and had a bunch of fun athletic spin kicks and I loved his early bum rush. There was a great heads up section with both guys throwing bombs at each other, but man was that finish hurt by comparing it to the previous match. Hara is looking to decapitate with his clotheslines, and SSM just didn't deliver that. This was solid WAR undercard stuff, but we are getting bigger and better then solid on this show.

Tatsutoshi Goto vs The Great Kabuki

MD: Whereas the SSM vs Aoyagi was more of the same as the first two matches, just not as good, I thought this was a nice palette cleanser on the card. Goto rushed in early (though instead of a killer knee to rush in on, it was more hugging and rolling) and took an early advantage on the outside. He pressed that into the armwork that would take up the entirety of the match. There was a great consequence-laden hope spot early into this where Kabuki punches with the bad hand/arm and immediately drops down selling it. Past that, Goto working on the arm wasn't super varied but it was focused and mean with Kabuki selling well. When he finally was able to fire back, late in the match, the crowd was definitely into, but then things sort of meandered to an out-of-nowhere finish. If they had tightened this up by a couple of minutes or let Kabuki get a more sustained comeback at the end, it would have been better. I liked most of it for what it was though.

PAS: Very different match with this being mostly just Goto working over the arm of Kabuki and Kabuki selling. The arm work was fine, and Kabuki's selling was great, the moment where he finally hits his uppercut only to collapse in pain was awesome. Still Kabuki is a so much more dynamic offensive wrestler then Goto, it was a bit of a bummer to see him smothered for most of the match. I liked the surprise roll up pin, but I just felt a little robbed of a big Kabuki explosion. 

Hiro Saito vs Kengo Kimura

MD: Another very solid match. This one felt just as violent as the others (especially everything that happened on the outside), but at the same time, somehow more cooperative, or at least conventional. I think that says more about the rest of the card than about this match in and of itself. The first third of the match was focused around chairs, beatings on the outside, one brutal whip into a tiny table, and the setpiece of the exposed corner buckle (Kimura's attempt to expose it partially lets Saito come back, Kimura cements one transition by tossing Saito into it, etc.). The exposed buckle is a non-factor for the rest of the match, which is a shame. The finish is set up by Saito missing a top rope senton out of that exact corner. Kimura diving to crotch him on it to set up the exact same finish would have been more rewarding. Small thing. Also, this was probably a good spot on the show for color with Saito's head rammed into the buckle a few times. (Note after the fact: PWO's Jetlag got to these before we did and I went to check his review on this and he had the exact same notion. That makes me feel less monstrous). Some of Kimura's jumping knee offense looked muddy with the fancam, but I really love his double axe-handle clubber. He throws himself into it more than anyone I've seen. This was a good mix of brawling and more conventional moves and transitions.

PAS: I dug this, there is something very appropriate about sitting in the front row of a WAR show and having fat ass Hiro Saito flying over the railing and landing on top of you. No reason to think that this feud should respect the fans anymore then the wrestlers respect each other. Hiro Saito doesn't do a lot of different things, but does the things he does exceedingly well. His senton is honestly one of the greatest looking individual wrestling moves ever, just pulverisingly beautiful, the standing one looked bad enough, but that second rope one was like an anvil hitting Wile E. Coyote. If Kimura didn't move out of the way of the tope rope attempt he would have looked like spilled condiments. I do think this was the match that could have used blood, but otherwise this show keeps delivering. 

Shiro Koshinaka vs Takashi Ishikawa

MD: This was one-third a really good match and two thirds an excellent one. I loved how Koshinaka took it right to Ishikawa to start, but that first third got dragged down a bit by holds that lacked struggle (though, once the armwork started, not necessarily direction). What it did manage to have, however was Koshinaka being the only guy on the card really to play to the crowd and just enough brutality to keep things somewhat interesting. They get way more interesting when Ishikawa takes over. Everything he does here is great. He can't transition from one piece of offense to another without making sure to pepper in a stomp on Koshinaka's face. In the middle here, it breaks down to a lumberjack match of sorts with both camps going at it. We only see bits and pieces of this as the camera stays with Koshinaka's selling. That's ok, I think, because that was another strong part of the match. He's definitely a guy who could get the crowd behind him and they pop big when he hits his comeback butt bump (and as goofy a move as that always is, it has a symbolic power with the crowd so it absolutely works). His offense on the back half was a lot better with nothing seeming meandering in the least. Instead we get some nice knee drops and an unforgiving double stomp off the top.

I liked how smart the end of the match was too, with clever use of repetition and payoff. As much as anything else, the key moments of the match were the transition points: Ishikawa armdragging his way out of an armbar (followed by a huge stomp, of course), Koshinaka countering a three point stance clothesline attempt with a butt bump, and then late, when Ishikawa turned the third butt bump attempt in the match into a snap clotheslining on the top rope which allowed him to set up a series of chokeslams and the second three point stance attempt clothesline (this time successful for the win; I need to work in how great his rapid fire clotheslines to the front and back of the head were earlier in the match so I'm sticking that here). A match like this didn't need that sort of narrative cleverness. It could have just been these two guys killing one another. It's a testament how good this was and how well it closed out the show that they went a step beyond.

PAS: Takashi Ishikawa's WAR run was one of the great short term wrestling runs of all time. He was there from 92-94 and was uniformly excellent including several all-time level matches. This was a step below that level, but not a huge step and his performance was excellent. Koshinaka was really great as a underdog babyface (which is weird because this was a WAR show) and takes a big time bloody beating from Ishikawa and really rallies the crowd behind him. Matt is right about how awesome that butt but is as a momentum shifter. I loved all of Ishikawa's nasty stomps, he really looked like he was trying to extinguish a brush fire on Koshinaka's head. The spot were Ishikawa blocks a hip toss, lands a judo throw and just stomps Koshinaka in the eye was good stuff. Loved the die on his sword performance by Koshinaka at the end, as he is able to string some big stuff together before getting absolutely smashed by a big clothesline.

Read more!

SEGUNDA CAIDA DECLARES WAR!!! 11/9/96

1. Gokuaku Umibozu vs. Jun Kikuchi

ER: Awwww yeah! What a killer little start to a WAR show! Umibozu is a sleaze fed karate guy with cool face paint, and Kikuchi is a guy that nobody has ever heard of who probably deserves to be heard of. Kikuchi looks transported straight out of a black and white 60s JWA match, like a Rikidozan partner. He's got the same thick build, old puro moveset (butterfly suplex, back suplex, those kneedrops where your shin lands flat over a guy's chest) and a Johnny Unitas flat top. Umibozu breaks out a nasty axe kick and follows it up with a straight kick to Kikuchi's chest, then levels him with a chair shot. Umibozu throws some headbutts and I love Kikuchi's classic strong style comeback. Seriously, this guy is right out of a time machine. Umibozu dumps him on his head with a folding powerbomb and then lands rough on a moonsault that sees Kikuchi kicking out right at 3 and then yelling at the ref. These guys were both awesome and both mostly unknown, and totally delivered in a 6 minute opener. Worth it.

2. Masayoshi Motegi vs. Battle Ranger

ER: Man this undercard is delivering unexpectedly. Motegi looks like a cross between Kawada and Rusher Kimura here, and delivers a great ass beating. He hits some stiff as hell lariats and works with a heft that I don't remember seeing from him. WAR apparently brings out the badass in everyone! Battle Ranger is here to get beaten, getting in only a brief run with a rana, German suplex and a smooth headscissors, but when he goes to follow up with a plancha to the floor he runs right into a waiting chair. Then Motegi mocks his battle ready stance and hits him more with a chair. Motegi hits a stiff Dr. Bomb and then absolutely crushes the finish, initially going for a superplex only to see Ranger squirt out, so - back facing the ring - Motegi grabs him in a gutwrench and hits an awesome twisting Dr. Bomb off the top. Killer finisher. The masses can finally stop harassing me, for a Battle Ranger match has finally been reviewed on Segunda Caida.

3. Masaaki Mochizuki/Takashi Okamura vs. Kamikaze/Masakazu Fukuda

ER:  This was clipped to half the running time, but it was in highlight form, and looked good enough from the highlights. 1996 was a year where WAR brought in a bunch of rookies and young guys, and a lot of them acted like real punks (to our benefit). Mochizuki is a guy who has looked good pretty much since his debut, and he's one of the more tireless guys in wrestling. It seems like his name never stops showing up in results. Okamura was clumsy in an amusing way and has been involved in the Dragon Gate office for years now. Kamikaze is another guy who is still somehow steadily working, and Fukuda died tragically from an in ring accident just a few years later. And all brought young rookie fire here. Fukuda is tall and lanky, and Mochizuki attacks him the whole match with nasty whip crack leg kicks, but goes down like a shot for a nice Fukuda elbow smash. Mochizuki and Okamura are both wearing their baggy mid 90s karate gear (with the short cropped shirts with short yet super baggy sleeves), and apparently everybody in WAR that year was instructed to use chairshots whenever a match went to the floor. Chairshots with those thin but no doubt painful Japanese metal chairs are to WAR what being thrown into the guardrail is to NOAH. Mochizuki beats Fukuda's ass on the floor, and Okamura comes flying out of nowhere with an elbow drop off the apron that mostly misses. That was a theme of Okamura's, although in an amusing way: He was kind of clumsy but had some wild asshole energy, so he would awkwardly take a bump or whiff on a move, but always with gusto. Kamikaze hits a great space flying tiger drop, Mochizuki continues to show he's one of the best kickers in pro wrestling history, and we get a fun pull apart after the match that spills to the back (and sees Kamikaze put an exclamation point on things with a big DDT on the floor on Mochizuki).

4. Doink the Clown vs. Onryo

ER: This is a weirdly infamous match among a niche circle of wrestling fans, as it was the only major promotion match to be included on Scott Mailman's Japanese Indy Sleaze comp tape. And yes, I understand that many words in that sentence I just wrote read like "Yahoo Serious Film Festival". I don't know any of the legal ramifications of Borne continuing to use the Doink gimmick several years after his awesome WWF stint, but it's really weird he showed up on just a couple WAR shows in full Doink gimmick. He's even on this show with Bam Bam Bigelow, the man he blamed for his WWF firing. So that's all weird. The match itself is incredibly fun, with Borne working really stiff and Onryo setting up a bunch of stuff for him. It's all built around Doink suckering Onryo into attacks, and then almost all of the attacks backfiring on Onryo. Doink throws some stiff shoulderblocks, catches a leaping Onryo and turns it into a nasty backbreaker, and then does two of the best drop toeholds I've seen, with Onryo rushing at him like he didn't realize he was going to eat a drop toehold. If someone could make a drop toehold look like a shoot, it was Doink, in WAR, naturally. Onryo hits some nice forearms and does a wild tope con giro to take out Doink and his own undead buddy, really a spectacular dive (which Onryo was always good for). Back in and Doink finishes things off pretty easy with a nice belly to belly and crushing Onryo's ghost chest with the whoopee cushion. Borne looked so awesome here, it really made me want to go back and watch all of his 1993 Doink run.

5. Bam Bam Bigelow/Nobukazu Hirai vs. Arashi/Osamu Tachihikari

ER: Kind of a big meaty mess of a match, but not without its charms. Early on Bigelow sells big for Arashi, bumping backwards to the floor off a shoulderblock, then smacking the drink out of the hand of a ringside fan. He smacked it from underneath, too, so the drink flew really high, straight up into the air. Hirai is a guy with tons of energy with mostly nice looking stuff, but in this match he is also responsible for one of the funniest and dumbest moments in wrestling. He and Tachihikari spill to the floor, and Hirai just wastes him with chairshots: throwing him into the ringside chairs, beating him with the chairs, burying him in the chairs. He then climbs into the crowd and runs up the stairs of Korakuen, then runs back down them, leaps onto the guardrail, slips, and falls right onto his face in all the chairs, not touching Tachihikari with whatever the hell it was he was meaning to do. But he is committed. So he suplexes Tachihikari into the chairs, gets back into the crowd, and walks up those stairs again. He doesn't walk up as high as the first time, and he goes slower, then he comes back down the stairs, slowly, gets back on the guardrail....and almost completely whiffs on a leaping clothesline. And he appears to actually injure his knee doing all of that, as he keeps going back to it the rest of the match while everyone else avoids it. Amazing. The rest of the match isn't much. We get a nice double team powerbomb from BBB/Hirai, and Hirai finishes things with a nice elbow drop off the middle rope. The sumo guys are a fun team, but this probably should have been better.

6. Kazuo Yamazaki/Takashi Iizuka vs. Genichiro Tenryu/Nobutaka Araya

ER: Yeah baby, this is all about Tenryu and Araya working as dickhead heels in their own promotion, openly taunting the fans with their assholery. Yamazaki starts the match lacing into Tenryu with kicks, and I always loved how Yamazaki still threw kicks like a kickpad guy, while just wearing tights and boots at this stage of his career. But you knew eventually that Tenryu would get his mitts on Iizuka, and when that happens then things get real. It happens in an unexpectedly awesome way, as Araya/Iizuka are in the ring, and suddenly the camera man gets knocked on his ass, and it;s like we're suddenly watching Cloverfield and have no idea what's going on, until the Tenryu pops into view as the cameraman is filming from his back. Turns out the cameraman was focused on the ring action and got blindsided as Tenryu did a sneak attack on Yamazaki. Tenryu beats Yamazaki down with a chair, and now we officially get Iizuka alone. You knew it was coming. Iizuka is always so game for taking a beating, and he's a great babyface as I always just want him to stand up for himself. They were such great jerks, laying in a beating with stiff chops and punches, nothing fancy, but the pure joy comes when Iizuka would make a miniscule comeback, because then Araya would come rushing in to immediately break it up. And every time they did that they would triumphantly raise their arms while soaking in the jeers. Tenryu and Araya are expert ring cutter offers, and we build to a big moment where Yamazaki finally comes back and breaks up a pin, kicking Tenryu right in the eye (and few are better at selling a kick to the eye than Tenryu). We get a great moment of Iizuka grabbing a desperation kneebar, but eventually Araya and his pudginess are two much for him, squishing him with two big moonsaults. This never hit peak WAR violence, but delivered at least as much as all Tenryu WAR tags. Tenryu and Araya are a total superstar heel team, making this easily must see.

7. Jushin Liger/El Samurai vs. Lance Storm/Yuji Yasuraoka

ER:  Liger and Samurai were such a cool team around this time, no way a team like Storm/Yasuraoka could come off even half as interesting. They both seem so light compared to the expresionless asskicking of Liger and Samurai. And luckily most of the match is a Liger/Samurai beatdown, so we didn't have to see extended runs of 1996 Lance Storm offense. First half of the match is Liger and Samurai cutting off the ring and picking apart Yasuraoka. Storm gets off kinda easy this match, as most of the damage that happens to him is due to his own poor landings on flying moves. Yasuraoka is the one in there getting powerbombed roughly (like 4 times!) and getting stomped by two of the better stompers in wrestling. We get a big dive spot, with Samurai plastering Storm with a tope (sending Storm crashing back hard into chairs), Yasuraoka hits a flying...something? (knee? axe handle?) that appears to not hit anyone, and Liger wastes him with a crossbody off the top. Samurai is one of the more generous bumpers ever, making all of Yasuraoka's stuff look brutal, when it does not in fact look very brutal (also, does anyone take a German suplex more annoying than Yasuraoka? He always takes them like he's doing a standing moonsault, always landing light), and Storm has some really awesome saves, really timing them so he's flying into frame at the last second. Storm and Yasuraoka win the junior titles, even though it felt like they really didn't do enough in the match to win them. Most of the match felt like a nice Liger/Samurai beatdown, with a Storm/Yasuraoka flurry at the end. Storm hits a huge flip dive to the floor that sends Liger sprawling through chairs (and sees Storm mostly do a huge Hamrick bump onto his back. Storm also took a great bump through the ropes earlier, basically flying through the ropes no hands and splatting on his back). I'm not really excited for the Storm/Yasuraoka babyface run, but it was nice seeing Samurai waste them. Samurai is always so lean and mean, I love his stomps and wrenched in holds, his reverse DDT always lands, and his left arm lariat (both standing and running variation) is a favorite of mine. I'd love to see Liger/Samurai against Tenryu/Araya

ER: Fun show that didn't look like much on paper. Nothing here was blowaway great, but it was a top to bottom fun show, a nice way to spend a couple hours. WAR felt like more of a "normal" fed at this point, but it had tons of charm and still brought the surliness.


COMPLETE SEGUNDA CAIDA DECLARES WAR!!!

Read more!

1993 Match of the Year

Riki Choshu/Shinya Hashimoto vs. Genichiro Tenryu/Takashi Ishikawa WAR 4/2/93

PAS: Tremendous, tremendous match. Three of the all time great asskickers in professional wrestling history kicking major ass, and Ishikawa desperately trying to hold up his end. Really spectacular performance by Ishikawa, he was excellent as the burly, lumpy overmatched guy who was going to jump right into the fray. He was constantly cheap shotting the NJPW team from the apron, running in and stomping then in pins, clubbering them from behind. He both absorbed and delivered a beating worthy of the other three guys in the match, which is an all time bar to clear. We get an awesome opening Tenryu v. Hashimoto scramble with both guys working crazy fast to grab an arm or leg. The match hits another gear when Choshu gets posted and starts bleeding, Tenryu may be the greatest "blood in the water" wrestler of all time, he just lasers in on the cut, punching and kicking Choshu right in his bloody head. Then we get a spectacular Hashimoto hot tag where he just splits guys in half with kicks, ending in a super hot finish run. I though this was par with your high end All Japan tags of this period. Same level of heat and drama, just replacing the headrops with lariats and kicks to the eye and throat, which is a trade I will always take.

ER: I really liked the teamwork of Tenryu/Ishikawa, not in a double teams kind of way, but in the way they came off like brothers who had each other's back. Ishikawa wasn't hesitant to jump right in the fire, and if Tenryu had either of the NJ guys near the ropes then Ishikawa was going to reach over Tenryu to punch them in the neck. Both guys were willing to get booed if it meant saving their boy before real danger kicked in. When Ishikawa misses a plancha and you're waiting for him to take a beating while rolling around prone in streamers, Tenryu jumps into action and saves his boy, administering a floor beating of his own. That early scramble with Hash and Tenryu was awesome, really didn't see much like that in 1993. We obviously had UWF, but this wasn't clean and smooth mat wrestling, this looked like a portion of a bar fight where they rolled out the door and onto the sidewalk. Choshu was in prime badass form here, and I love the old wrestling visual of a guy with blood around his eye. Thankfully, once Riki was busted open Tenryu made sure that that visual happened for me, whipping the toe of his boot into Riki's eye far too many times, really mocking him in painful fashion. The whole time he's doing this I imagine Ishikawa thinking "every time that cut gets kicked, the lariat I'm gonna take towards the end of this gets harder and meaner."

Hashimoto is a guy I've been watching for well over 15 years now, and I think he's the only guy who still goes up a notch on my "all time greats" list, every time I see him. He's never dipped, but he just keeps getting higher and higher and higher and every match of his I watch it becomes more and more believable that he can pass up Lawler or Funk or Fujiwara or Hansen. He's so good, and always manages to look like the peak of wrestling cool, even while having the same body as Lena Dunham. He's such a cool asskicker, able to show vulnerability while just being a total monster, adding in neat selling and strategy (I love how he sells Tenryu's enziguiri, he's really one of the only ones who does it properly, crumbling down to a knee in pain instead of the traditional clumsy faceplant), and he's just so damn good. This is a total classic, filled with great story in a nicely succinct fashion, just total 100% surliness pummeling its way off the screen the whole match.


ALL TIME MOTY LIST

Read more!

All Time MOTY List Head to Head: Misawa v. Kawada V. WAR v. FMW

Atsushi Onita/Tarzan Goto v. Genichiro Tenryu/Ashura Hara (WAR 3/2/94)

PAS: Epic match with everyone playing their parts perfectly. Onita replaces his normally psychotic masochistic hurling of his body into barbed wire, with psychotically and mascochistically allowing himself to be toe kicked in the temple by Tenryu and shoot headbutted by Hara. Tenryu is a mean nasty prick roaming around the beginning of this match unloading on both guys. Both Goto and Hara are awesome as the bruiser tag partners whose job is to beat on the opposing teams big hitter. Hara brutalizes Onita early with headbutts busting him open, while Goto cracked Tenryu with lariats, superfly splashes and a a face first piledriver on the table. Then they clear out and let the two megastars match up. The finishing run may not have been the smoothest wrestling I have seen, but holy shit are Tenryu and Onita pair of charismatic motherfuckers who know how to draw you in a match. Tenryu's selling was brilliant here, at about the ten minute mark of the match he gets caught with a big DDT from Onita, and he is never able to shake off that shot. He goes back on offense, hits some big moves, but he has this awesome thousand yard stare even when he is firing back. When he finally goes down, it is a huge monster deal, but I buy Onita getting the win, even without explosions. The main event interpromotional WAR tag is one of the greatest thing in wrestling history.

ER: This was so great, and so different than what I was expecting! FMW coming into WAR's turf, yet Goto is the never say die bullied babyface, Onita makes puppy dog eyes, and Tenryu is the guy wandering around being a stoic asshole. I love this match though. It's so messy, really not pretty, but builds so cleanly and satisfyingly. Goto and Hara are the bulldogs being sicced on the opposing side's big dog, and the way we get there is classic. Stiff headbutts and lariats to the side of everybody's neck ensue, and Tenryu kicks Onita in the eye and forehead a dozen or more times. It's fairly routine in the beginning, until Goto has the nerve to break up a pin, and then Tenryu flips out on him, tosses him to the floor, and slaps and chops him into a pile. And it's a tasty moment, because Tenryu flying off the handle and getting so distracted by Goto doing his job leaves things wide open for Onita to recover a bit and DDT Tenryu as he gets back from jumping Goto. Just as Rick Rude sells an atomic drop finer than any other man before or since, Tenryu has always done the same glory to DDTs and piledrivers. His body always curls up a little as one hand holds his neck and the other focuses on the hot pain on top of his head. He eats another, manages to kick out, and also manages to tag Hara in. And brother, Goto does NOT forget about that beating that Tenryu gave him for saving Onita. As Onita is tangling with Hara, Goto storms into Tenryu's dwelling and blasts him with a chair, and spends the rest of the match making Tenryu pay for that early extra aggression. He really targets Tenryu and leaves him softened up for Onita. That piledriver slam on the table was ridiculous. I never even considered that the FMW boys might pull this off, but the longer this went I kept thinking "man a WAR comeback at this point would be just silly!" but that Onita pin was still super shocking.

Misawa v Kawada Review

PAS: Verdict, I loved this, WAR inter promotional tag is a style which resonates way more with me then All Japan main event puro classic. Still Misawa v. Kawada is the apex of that style, while this is an awesome interpromotional potato WAR, but a step below the incandescent stuff between WAR and NJ. 6/3/94 by a hair

ER: This match felt really unique, with some great strategy and several little stories running throughout. It's messiness was part of its shaggy charm, but it was also going up against something trimmed of fat and immaculately executed. So very different. But 6/3/94 is the peak of its own style, whereas we have seen better interpromotional wars (basically all of which I love), and I have to give respect to the king. 6/3/94 wins again.

Read more!

Berzerker Beat the Dead Man Using This One Weird Trick

"Undertaker, Paul Bearer, my Berzerker issue challenge to YOU, Undertaker. Upon BEATING you, Undertaker, I, Mr. Fuji, will have a personal Viking funeral for you two. Undertaker, Paul Bearer, you'll be cremated!!" ~Mr. Fuji

42. Berzerker vs. Mark Roberts - Superstars 4/8/92

Roberts is a big guy, billed at 270 and looking close to it, with a physique like Michael Elgin. He starts by going for a lock up, so Berzker just pump kicks him in the chest in nasty fashion. Then he hits a kneedrop, leg drop, and finishes with the slam. Roberts had the size, but was a real cold fish in bed, just lying there motionless after moves. Sell it a little, Mark. IMPORTANT: Berzerker wins with the falling slam, the first time he's actually pinned a jobber. Even MacMahon notes that it is something new from the Berzerker.

"Ohhhhhh Berzerker and Mr. Fuji, what a fatal mistake you've made, and now next week you'll pay the price!" ~Paul Bearer

"Throughout the annals of time, man has had to face his destiny. You face your destiny and your death on the same day." ~Undertaker

"Undertaker, you fell for trap, and next week you're gonna pay for it!" ~Mr. Fuji

"Undertaker, they say you're not human! Well Undertaker, I'm berserk, and whatever don't kill me makes me stronger! Undertaker, I'm gonna stomp you into the stinkin' dust where you came from!" ~Berzerker

43. Berzerker vs. Undertaker - Superstars 4/25/92

I loved this. Probably more than anybody should. But it was 2 minutes long and absolutely perfect. Before the bell Berzerker jumps Paul Bearer and bashes him with his shield, with Bearer taking a wild bump to the floor. Then Berzerker clunks Undertaker a couple times with the shield, real hard shots from an awkward pointy looking shield. Then, he gets out his Viking sword. He hits Taker with the broadside of the sword and then, in an amazing spot, lifts the sword above his head with both hands and plunges it towards Taker's chest, with Taker rolling out of the way and the sword sticking vertically out of the mat (where it will stay for the rest of the match). The two collide on a shoulderblock and then Nord clotheslines Taker over the top, then hits a great double axe handle off the apron. He tosses Taker around on the floor, tears up the ring mat, and blasts Undertaker with a piledriver on the concrete! Berzerker starts flipping out, takes off his loincloth, and Fuji walks him to the back, but then Taker sits up and starts walking after Berzerker, with Berzerker flipping out even more! Holy shit!! That just made me want to see their whole house show run, and then their PPV blowoff that doesn't exist!!

"Undertaker, I told you!" Mr. Fuji

"Undertaker, the Berzerker proved you ARE human. Undertaker, the Berzerker got his shield on you! Undertaker, the Berzerker got his hands on you! Undertaker, the Berzerker got his boots on you! Undertaker, I smashed your head into the stinkin' cement, and next time...I'm not gonna take it easy on you!" ~Berzerker

"Ohhhh Mr. Fuji and the Berzerker, ohhh you tried to steal our urn, you tried to drive your sword through the body of the Undertaker last week. It's going to be over for you!" ~Paul Bearer

"When you knocked at the Devil's door, did you expect the Reaper? Berzerker, Mr. Fuji, rest in peace." ~Undertaker

(one week later)

"Paul Bearer, when my Berzerker eliminates your Undertaker, I will put your remains in your urn!" ~Mr. Fuji

"Undertaker! How'd it feel to have someone like the Berzerker go berzerk on you!? You didn't get away from the shield, Undertaker! You got away from the sword, Undertaker. But I guarantee you next time, I'm gonna harpoon you, Undertaker! Cuz I tell you what, I closed a lot of men's eyes, too. Undertaker, I can't wait to get my hands and sword on you!" ~Berzerker

"Ohhh Mr. Fuji, what you had your Berzerker do was unforgiveable. You tried to steal our urn! You tried to put the sword into the body of my Undertaker! You'll pay!!" ~Paul Bearer

"The crimes...committed against this body...are unimportant. The body is only a tool in which the soul will use. Now, Berzerker, I'll destroy your body, and I'll possess your soul...for alllll of eternity." ~Undertaker

44. Berzerker vs. Scott Taylor - Superstars 4/29/92

The rematch we've been waiting almost 8 months for!! Taylor has gotten a little wiser, his mullet has grown a little longer, maybe added a little size, obviously he's watched some tape of the Berzerker. And in watching those tapes he's picked up on secrets, he's picked up on weaknesses, things he's noticed that can beat the Berzerker. Knowing this, he gets booted right in the forehead to start, then bieled across the ring. And then bieled again. And then also again. Huh. Taylor eats a Bruiser Brody type bodyslam, kneedrop, legdrop, standing splash...his time spent in the tape room is failing him. And, Berzerker throws him to the floor, Taylor accepting his fate and not even grabbing the top rope on his way down. As he gains his footing on the floor, Berzerker does back bumps in celebration. For Taylor, additional research will have to be conducted.

"Undertaker, my Berzerker stopped you in your own tracks" ~Mr. Fuji

"Undertaker, I told you we were the most dangerous men in the WWF! Undertaker, I told you I was the toughest man in the WWF! How did it feel to get your head caved in on the cement! Undertaker, I can't WAIT for the witching hour!" ~Berzerker

(next week)

"Ohhhhhh Mr. Fuji and the Berzerker. You tried to put an end to my Undertaker; the piledriver on the concrete floor, the sword, now you'll PAY!" ~Paul Bearer

"Berzerker...froms simple minds come simple acts. You attacked the body, but the soul is eternal..." ~Undertaker

45. Berzerker vs. Glen Ruth - Superstars 4/29/92

Berzerker is truly making mince meat out of the individual members of Attitude era tag teams. I don't remember Ruth as such a big spring-y bumper when he was Headbanger Thrasher. His bumps are kind of same-y but they have some snap to them, like when he bumps a lariat up around his shoulders. He also lands super hard on the floor, getting tossed over the top. Crazy to think Ruth had a few appearance on WWE TV LAST YEAR. When watching Berzerker crush him I'm sure we were all anticipating a 25 year career for him. 

"Undertaker and Paul Bearer, my Berzerker stopped you Undertaker, right in your tracks. And let me tell you Undertaker, how do you feel to be punished and insulted?" ~Mr. Fuji

"Undertaker, how did it feel to have your head concaved against the stinkin' cement!? I told the people all along I was the toughest man in the WWF, I told 'em, and now there's not doubt in their minds that WE are the most dangerous men in the World Wrestling Federation. Undertaker, next time when I go to stab you, I ain't missing!" ~Berzerker

46. Berzerker/King Haku/Guerrero Del Futuro vs. Genichiro Tenryu/Ashura Hara/Ultimo Dragon - SWS 5/20/92

This is not actually that strange of a trios lineup, compared to what WAR/SWS can famously spit out; These teams are pretty common sense, two big bosses on each team, and one flier. I didn't remember Hara getting so large before he retired, here he's a couple more months of snacking away from being John Tenta...but fat Hara is still awesome Hara, duh. Gaijin team is really fun, with Phil's old commentary partner/Black Terry partner Guerrero del Futuro, and a noticeably less bulky Berzerker and Haku. Late '92 saw a lot of WWF guys with suddenly deflated physiques. It's kind of jarring to see the shift. Berzerker was probably the second largest guy in WWF around this time, second only to Warlord, and here he looks closer to Donovan Dijak (who is muscular but not jacked like 1991 Warlord/Berzerker) and Haku is clearly way softer around the middle. That must have been a weird time to be a backstage fly on the wall in WWF. But the match is predictably a blast, with plenty of neat dynamics and satisfyingly stiff work. It's funny how time changes things, as my early WAR show purchases 18+ years ago were to see Ultimo Dragon, and now he is always one of the guys I least look forward to seeing on WAR shows. He's fine here, but I can't help but notice how much I get excited for any combo of the other 5 guys. But Futuro and Ultimo work together nicely, which makes sense. Futuro mostly acts as base for him, with both spilling admirably into the crowd off an Asai moonsault. Futuro does get one cool piece of offense on him, a kind of running cannonball: instead of hitting a crossbody while both were rope running, he kind of half somersaults into him, landing back first and sideways while on the run. It looked trippy and cool, someone should steal it.

There was a strange thing happening between Berzerker/Tenryu, as it really felt like Tenryu didn't take him seriously, and instead wanted to work with Haku. Tenryu would always kind of brush him off, quickly dispose of him and demand Haku. I didn't mind as he and Haku beat the shit out of each other. Haku was a monster here, and pretty much always looks like a monster in his WAR/SWS stuff. I don't think any version of Haku comes close to the badass he unleashes in WAR. Still, even with Tenryu not really giving him tons, Berzerker bumps big for him, including taking his wildly fast bump to the floor off a mean Tenryu lariat, then flipping out and dangerously throwing a table around ringside. Hara and Haku bring the headbutts, and this match has a little bit of everything: Flying, stiff strikes, big bumps, unique match-ups. You know, pretty much what you want out of WAR/SWS. It didn't really build or go anywhere, but you don't always watch WAR/SWS for build, you typically watch for old lumpy sump and rugby guys smashing each other in the face, and that happened plenty. Always awesome.

"Undertaker, Ultimate Warrior, you're look at the two biggest men in the World Wrestling Federation, controlled by the sickest man in the World Wrestling Federation! Now what kind of chance do you think you two got, when US two get our hands on your cold, stinkin' flesh. And Warrior, the muscles and the screamin' ain't gonna get it done!" ~Berzerker

"Ultimate Warrior, the curse has been put on you. YOU have stepped into my black circle, and that circle is closing...on you." ~Papa Shango

"Let the heavens FALL below, and let hell RISE with the Undertaker. And as they meet, let the entire universe set itself afire! For the curse you have Papa Shango, and the freak of nature you have brought in the Berzerker, is of no challenge, no purpose to what I live for, and what this man will die for." ~Ultimate Warrior

"Gentleman what you must understand, is that we fought through the lights of the sky, and we purged below to the depths of hell. We battled 'til no man could comprehend the final end. Now you Shango, Berzerker, will falllll." ~Undertaker

47. Berzerker vs. Bruce Mitchell - Superstars 6/1/92

Remember when UWF used a jobber they named Davey Meltzer? Is this just ACTUALLY Bruce Mitchell? I'm going to pretend it is. It may be. I know nothing about his pre-wrestling journalist career. Bruce Mitchell is a pretty cold fish in the ring though. He eats two big falling slams, a big legdrop, boot to the chest, weenies out on the bump to the floor, quits his dreams of being a pro wrestler, and focuses on writing about wrestling for a living. Perhaps this was some sort of stab at George Plimpton style participatory journalism? Also, perhaps it was a different person.

"Undertaker, they said you were unstoppable. Well I stopped you COLD, just like your rotten flesh! Undertaker, you get close to me, and I'm gonna take your stinkin' head off! Undertaker, you go get the Ultimate Warrior now huh!? Undertaker, you two ain't gonna look real big at the feet of me and Papa! You ain't gonna look real big when the devious one sics us on you, are you? Huss!" ~Berzerker

"Ultimate Warrior, the spell has been put on you. You have SEEN the powers of Papa Shango. Undertaker, you are not above reproach. You DABBLE in the SPIRITS. You know nothing about death." ~Papa Shango

"Deep six. Unnatural black magic. Undertaker, I have had cause to walk in your world and try and understand. I shall let the past be the past for you Papa Shango, and the Berzerker from years past. You know by now, that the combination of the Ultimate Warrior, and the grave walker Undertaker is something more deadly than you could ever deal with."  ~Ultimate Warrior

"Since making the WWF my personal burial ground, I've chosen my souls very carefully. Now you've conjured up all that is evil and all that is good. The end is near." ~Undertaker


COMPLETE & ACCURATE BERZERKER

Read more!