SEGUNDA CAIDA DECLARES WAR!! 2/8/97

 

1. Ryo Miyake vs. Tomohiro Ishii

ER: Miyake is representing Tarzan Goto, and Sensei Goto is lurking in the crowd just waiting to invade. Goto is sitting alone in Korakuen wearing a purple suit and a white collared shirt with the top buttons unbuttoned. He appears to have an entire row to himself and looks smug, and powerful. They cut to him a lot during the match and they're right to do so. Where can I get Miyake's yellow Tarzan Goto shirt? I would pay very good money for it. Miyake is representing W*ING and Tokyo Pro and Japanese sleaze in general and the Goto shirt is firing up Shinichi Nakano at ringside. Ishii has neon green tights, and a neck. 

It gets good when Miyake starts toe kicking Ishii in the back and side of the head as the latter was getting up. There hadn't been any kind of Kurisu energy and that sparked something. When they go into an elbow exchange, Ishii works his a little and Miyake just runs through him with extra pounce on impact. Ishii kind of tenaciously goes after a hammerlock and that's a cool Ishii I don't know. Ryo Miyake looks like Satanico crossed with Akitoshi Saito but in a fucked up way and not a cool way. Ishii lays out for a Dynamite Kid diving headbutt 2/3 of the way across the ring and this Ishii is so much better. Miyake throws a WAR level lariat running out of the corner. His single leg crab and Texas Cloverleaf looked back backbreaking. I don't think Dean Malenko had a better application and execution of the Cloverleaf any time in '97. I've seen fucking all of them. 

Miyake invites Tarzan Goto into the ring and he takes his time walking from the 15th row of Korakuen, carrying an attaché. Nakano and now Arashi get hot and riled up at the sight of Tarzan Goto in a perfect suit jacket looking The Most Dapper Tarzan Goto Can Look, meaning his stubble is only 6 days old. Koji Kitao comes down, Goto just leaves and holds court outside the building, taking questions on the street as he's hailing a cab. You ever seen a god? 

2. Onryo vs. Choden Senshi Battle Ranger

ER: This is going to be an exciting mess with more crashes than hits and I love it. Onryo's pescado sends him crashing to the ground in front of Battle Ranger, who is still wearing his cape because Onryo hid under the ring and jumped him. Ranger takes a great ringpost bump that looks greater because he's still wearing his big cape. Onryo is remembered for his bumps and risks but his worked punches are a lot better than you remember. He throws an excellent dropkick and is good at leaning into kicks, including Battle Ranger's missile dropkick to the floor, springing off the middle rope. Battle Ranger takes a fucking Jerry bump (!) and Onryo runs up the buckles and dives into him with a Jerry bump AS OFFENSE! It all looks great. 

All of Onryo's offense is tighter than I remembered, and Battle Ranger does little things like kick Onryo in the face hard before hitting an Asai moonsault, not just focusing on hitting the move but actually thinking about believably neutralizing his opponent before hitting it. There's an unexpected and fantastic fight over a rear waistlock, where Onryo keeps trying to kick back - hard - at Battle Ranger's legs but Ranger keeps dodging while holding the waistlock, before suplexing Onryo onto the back of his head. Battle Ranger looks like he damn near snaps Onryo's neck with a muscle buster and this whole thing started cool and kept getting better. We used to seek out WAR tapes for Ultimo Dragon matches and here are two better WAR undercard juniors in the post-Ultimo Dragon era. I don't think anyone was ever getting tapes for the Onryo or Choden Senshi Battle Ranger matches, because we didn't know anything then. Now we can change. 

3. Kamikaze vs. Atsushi Kikuchi

ER: Yume Factory mentioned. Kikuchi is a black trunks white boots no kneepads guy like Riki Choshu but with Tenzan's head. Their matwork is strong and tough, locked in, forearms across jaws. Kamikaze's moonsault has impact like 2 Cold Scorpio's. Kikuchi throws a lot of weight behind lunging elbow smashes and a dropkick, and jumps off the apron with a clothesline the way someone who wasn't totally thinking it through would do. He throws a butterfly suplex with real physics and hits a lariat even harder than Riki's. Kikuchi is one of our great post-peak lost WAR guys; a guy who was only around a few years during the WAR era with less available TV. We need the 1999 Atsushi Kikuchi handhelds. Every suplex thrown is stiff: vertical suplex with brainbuster drop, a German that snaps Kamikaze's legs over his body, a Kamikaze back suplex that was clearly meant to drop Kikuchi on his neck, with intent. Kamikaze returns the lariat from earlier and these lariats are Made in WAR, for WAR. A great lariat is the best roster prerequisite of any wrestling company in history. Kikuchi has no human idea how to take a tornado DDT but that's great because instead it just folds and crumples his body in a painful way. Kamikaze kicks him in the head a bunch after the match, after dropping him on his head with a fisherman's buster. Kamikaze knew WAR so well for a guy who didn't wrestle there very often. He was a natural fit who should have been a regular.  

4. Miho Watabe/Michiko Omukai vs. Sayuri Okino/Michiko Nagashima

ER: I don't know these women. I wasn't watching LLPW tapes in the 90s and I only know a few who have since. I know Watabe I guess. She's the one who looks like a small child. Watabe gets whipped around all over the ring by her hair and it's one of those women's wrestling spots from the 50s that can look so violent when done to a woman who is 90 pounds. Okino's snapmares are more violent but Nagashima's were quicker. Omukai has strong pinfall saves, always taking advantage of the situation and kicking Okino in the back of the head a few times, and Okino bumps nicely for Omukai's hot tag. Watabe can't get any weight behind her dropkick because she has no weight but she does it 20 or so times, spamming quantity, which is important. Omukai's dropkick hits like a joshi dropkick should, and she is very good at small things. Watabe has one good neck bridge spot that's very effective, and Nagashima is really good at hot girl dead eyed interference. She's like one of the Heathers, only with a kendo stick instead of a croquet mallet. 

5. Osamu Taitoko vs. Masakazu Fukuda

ER: WAR show giving us a sumo vs. freestyle match, which is why you watch WAR shows. Fukuda is listed as having a sumo background but wrestles with amateur single legs and pins like Takashi Sugiura or Chad Gable when he did that stuff a decade ago. Fukuda died tragically during the start of his New Japan career. Taitoko - the future Tachihikari - wants to treat him like a punk and Fukuda keeps fighting back against the charges. Fukuda tries to bulldog Taitoko and pretty soon (and pretty easily) gets him in mount with an elbow held across this throat. When they start hitting each other it's one of those great exchanges you get so consistently in WAR, as the much smaller Fukuda is fighting with speed while Taitoko punches him in the nose. Fukuda is small Sugiura, Taitoko is large Kamikaze. Taitoko hits harder and has a great standing sleeper, but Fukuda is relentless and hits a cool uranage on a very heavy man. Why do sumo guys always have such good kicks to the face? Were they all bullied and kicked in the face so much in training that they know how to deliver them naturally and pay them pay gleefully? Powerbombs are real in WAR. They are never faked. They are sincere. Fukuda keeps refusing to stay down for Taitoko's back suplex and powerbomb and chokeslam, all of which were delivered with intent, so Taitoko just clotheslines him in the back of the head and Gedo clutch's that wrestler of inferior style. 

6. Masaaki Mochizuki vs. Nobutaka Araya 

ER: 1997 Araya is still trying to do trunks and this boy is too beefy for these orange crush trunks to contain. Everybody's pants look a size too small in WAR and it's one of the best unsung features of WAR. Mochizuki throws six kicks to six different parts of Araya and they all make loud contact. Sumo vs. Kicker is going to be so damn good. It always is. The matwork is rugged, Araya is like Greg Valentine on the mat but his half crab moves into classic WAR torture. Araya is a real prick and he's so good when he wrestles as sadistic sumo Valentine. It's not enough to lock in a crunching STF, he starts pulling at the side of Mochizuki's eye with his fingers for leverage. Araya can really take - and sell - good kicks. He flies back into the ropes so convincingly and takes more than one cool bump to the floor. He also has a WAR level clothesline, per the prerequisite. His corner clothesline hits like Dr. Death, big impact. 

Araya drags Mochizuki's body through a good Korakuen brawl, throwing him down so hard on a bodyslam in the stands that some people around it reacted in real shock. His piledriver is perfect, and Mochizuki is bleeding, and bleeds even more when Araya starts throwing full force headbutts. Araya can absorb all of Mochizuki's good kicks, because he punches back so much harder. Araya starts suplexing him around like a corpse, then hits this killer running lariat and pounces into the cover, an excellent example of a man Trying to Put This Away. Araya even does a Valentine timberrrrrr bump after taking a kick to the face, and when he leans head and neck first into a springboard spinning heel kick it's an incredibly done nearfall. All the nearfalls down the stretch are great nearfalls because Araya starts spamming clotheslines and powerbombs until Mochizuki stays down. It genuinely felt like the real finish was Mochizuki taking as many of them as possible until physically incapable of lifting his body. This rocked in all ways, a near 20 minute match that kept getting stronger the longer Mochizuki persevered. 

7. Arashi/Shinichi Nakano vs. Yuji Yasuraoka/Lance Storm 

Storm and Yasuraoka are dressed like Fruit Stripe gum and they are one of the worst fucking teams of the 90s. Neither man looks like they belong in WAR and this match confirms that repeatedly. It's a minor miracle that Arashi and Nakano were able to make anything about this work, as Storm/Yasuraoka never looked like they belonged in the same ring as them. This is lavender tights/mullet era Arashi. Not to be fucked with. Lance Storm opts to fuck with him all match by hitting the worst offense in WAR history which leaves Arashi and Nakano wondering how to even acknowledge it. Imagine you're Lance Storm, coming into WAR, hitting your cartwheel clothesline and dropkicks that wouldn't budge a soul. Storm's matwork with Nakano is more interesting than watching him attempt any other offense. Are there any good mat-based Lance matches? The man was trained by one Hart brother for one day, there must be some matwork Lance out there. 

The match peaks when it's time for Storm and Yasuraoka's big comeback, where they manage to string together several pieces of offense that either miss entirely or land but wouldn't hurt a fly. It all starts when Lance slingshots himself to the floor with a cannonball...and launches himself far over Arashi's head, landing on his ass on the floor without making contact with a human body. Perhaps he was paying tribute to his partner, who tagged in early in the match with a slingshot senton that completely overshot Nakano. The two of them set up a kind of Total Elimination on Arashi that sees them both throw spinning heel kicks (Storm to the back of Arashi's head, Yasuraoka to the face) and both kicks mostly miss their target, so Arashi is left just standing there while they crash around him. Panicking, Lance follows it up with a dropkick that mostly misses and Yasuraoka has to hit a clothesline just so something finally connects with the largest man in the match who has been standing perfectly still this entire time waiting for anything to make contact with his body. 

You know who is a pretty badass tag team? Arashi and Nakano! They look like two men who should be able to effortlessly hit offense on Lance Storm and Yuji Yasuraoka, and they do! They are especially punishing to Yuji. Arashi lands heavy on elbowdrops, piledrives the man. When Nakano hits him with a brainbuster, Arashi comes in just to stomp him in the head, as it should be. Arashi is such a beast. He hits a big boy frog splash and an awesome nodowa otoshi where he lifts Yasuraoka up by the rear waist of his rights, then slams him forward by the throat. It's brutal having to see Lance Storm try and break up their offense to save Yasuraoka, because we are forced as a viewer to have to pretend a Lance Storm forearm had the power to knock Nakano off the apron. We are forced, as fans of wrestling, to treat Storm's silly leap to top buckle back elbow as a thing that could move a man. It's foolish. I liked how they finished Yasuraoka, him charging straight into a powerslam upon tagging in, Arashi giving him a couple powerbombs on a hard part of the ring, then finishing the job with a twisting frog splash. 

I don't know why WAR fans accepted these Fruit Stripe goofs. 

8. Genichiro Tenryu/Koki Kitahara/Tatsuo Nakano vs. Koji Kitao/Nobukazu Hirai/Hiroshi Hatanaka

ER: Not to the level of the highest of high end WAR trios, but the same kind of memorable as the best WAR trios. What made this match great, is Tenryu working simultaneously as the aace of the promotion babyface AND as a shitheel cheap shot artist. Tenryu is the god king of the promotion, the chairman, yet all match he's taking cheap shots whenever he can, kicking guys in the eye to break up pins, directing his boy Kitahara to do the same shit, that air of unprofessionalism running rampant. It is incredible to see Tenryu both humbled by Kitao, and act as a guy who doesn't want Kitao around. He cheap shots him, and takes liberties with Nobukazu Hirai just because the boy happened to be teaming with Kitao. It leads to the best parts of the match. 

Every Tenryu/Hirai interaction is good. Hirai has the fucking nerve to powerbomb him and Tenryu gets up pissed and starts kicking him in the face, then punching him in the face and eye. Tenryu tells Kitahara to do the same, so Kitahara tags in to kick Hirai in the face, but it's not hard enough so Tenryu comes back to show Kitahara how to kick Hirai in the face while Hirai is downed. Learning from the master, Kitahara tags back in and he throws even harder kicks at Hirai's head and face. This is the kind of wrestling storytelling I can follow and understand. We are all here for Nobukazu Hirai getting kicked in the face any time he steps over the plane of the ropes. It enrages Kitao while offering us nothing but joy. 

This is also a match that makes us ask the question, "Was Koji Kitao getting good at this?" The more he worked, the more his in ring confidence grew, the better he looked in the ring. This is one of those matches that highlighted his upside that was always there. How could there not be upside in a tall, 300+ pound disgraced sumo who can't control his anger? Kitao, in his large yellow pants and large yellow exposed breasts, attempted to mock Tenryu, and I loved all the exchanges between Kitao/Tenryu and Kitao/Kitahara. Kitao actually looked surprised at the fight Kitahara brought to him, as Kitahara came with hard leg kicks, and kept kicking at his legs after Kitao got dropped to a knee. When he has him suitably ripened, he tags Tenryu in, and the fireworks get bigger. Tenryu hits an enziguiri and cannonball, and you know it's good because Tenryu does that thing where he gets to his feet pumping his fist...only to turn around directly into a hard Kitao clothesline, then gets to feel what a fat boy senton really feels like. As Tenryu is recovering on the floor from his flattening, Kitao hits a baseball slide dropkick....and that is when it is officially Okay to ask if Koji Kitao Turned Actually Good in February 1997, and dare yourself to go back deeper to find any earlier moment that compares. 

The breakdown of the finish is excellent stuff, as we knew it was going to come down to Kitao and Tenryu going full unleashed on the other, and they do. Kitao is completely unmoved by two punches to the nose and rocks Tenryu with a right. Kitao walks through Tenryu's punches and throws great jabs, and anything Tenryu tries Kitao just spam blocks with kneelifts. Tenryu, getting nowhere, hilariously tags in sacrificial lamb Nakano, who gets immediately BURIED by a Kitao sitout tombstone. With Kitao distracted by a different body, Cheapshot Babyface Tenryu comes in and starts kicking Kitao in the face to chase him from the ring and bring the weaker members into the fray, because he is great at slapping and clotheslining Hirai and Hatanaka around. Tenryu's whole team is great at kicking and clotheslining and powerbombing Hatanaka. When the clear weak link of the match manages to hit Tenryu with a missile dropkick, all it does it back Tenryu into the ropes, giving him momentum to wreck him with a clothesline. This was a WAR heavyweights main event, driven by complicated relationships and in-fighting that we wouldn't understand but is tangible in all actions. 

THE COMPLETE SEGUNDA CAIDA DECLARES WAR!

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BattlArts Battle Rock 97 3/13/97-3/14/97

3/13/97

Minoru Tanaka vs. Katsumi Usuda

PAS: Minoru Tanaka was an evolution of the pretty boy shootstyist, Takada, Funaki and Tanaka. Those guys are never my favorites, I want my shootstyle guy to have the fury of a ugly dude. No one would every confuse Usuda with a boy band member, and he brings the heat here. Tanaka eventually went fully into juniors wrestling, but he was a Battlartist here and had a lot of skill. Match starts with a lot of leg fighting and feeling out. Usuda steps it up with a snap german suplex and a punt to the face for a near fall. After that it ramps up and gets violent, with both guys throwing and racking limbs. Loved the finish, with Tanaka passing guard super fast and getting a nasty kneebar for the tap.

Takeshi Ono vs. Alexander Otsuka

PAS: This was great, although a little minor key. I just love both of these guys, and it is really cool to see how there divergent styles work in concert. Much of the match is Ono throwing kicks and punches, and Otsuka trying to use head movement to slip in and grab Ono and hurl him violently. Otsuka is any discussion of greatest suplexers in wrestling history, and Ono is spindly enough that he can really manhandle him, there are a couple of Taz on Pablo Marquez level suplexes in this match but Ono will fire back with some real face punts and hard punches. Liked the finish, which was not how I was expecting this to go at all.

Yuki Ishikawa/Naohiro Hoshikawa vs. Daisuke Ikeda/Shoichi Funaki - EPIC

PAS: This was a match of different styles which meshed pretty well. Hoshikawa vs. Funaki was much more a MPRO match then a BattlArts match, when they first tag in they exchange rapid fire chest slaps, which is very much not BattlArts, still their exchanges were exciting stuff, and Ikeda vs. Ishikawa was as great as that match up normally is, young Ikeda gave as few a fucks as older Ikeda but with really fast twitch athleticism. This also had some of my favorite stuff in these tags, where someone would put on a submission or pin attempt leaving them open for a hellacious break up. Ikeda especially just gets such joy walking in the ring and teeing off on a prone opponent. Hoshikawa threw similar heat when he got a chance.  Finish was cool with Funaki making the mistake of trying to grapple with Ishikawa and getting totally worked and Fujiwara'ed for the tap.

3/14/97

Minoru Tanaka vs. Ikuto Hidaka

PAS: This is rookie Hidaka, and is a very short scramble, where they roll for a minute or so, until Tanaka grabs a kimura and taps him. Too short to mean much, but it had good energy.

Katsumi Usuda vs. Shoichi Funaki

PAS: Funaki was always a bit of a wonky fit for BattlArts, he had some takedowns and submissions, but was always more comfortable with a figure four or a pratfall from a kick. He is a skilled guy, and it feels like he found his right role as a long time WWF undercarder. Usuda is going to do what he does, come forward firing hard shots and throwing in some slick submissions, in many ways he is hybrid of both Ikeda and Ishikawa, he doesn't do either of their strengths at their A+ level and he doesn't have either guys charisma, but is a solid A- at both striking and matwork and is pretty much always going to be well worth watching. He shellacks Funaki here at the end, which is what I wanted to see.

Tatsuo Nakano vs. Alexander Otsuka

PAS: This was a cool match with lots of real examples of skill, which didn't live up to it's on paper promise. Nakano sandbagged Otsuka a bit, not really letting him rip off any suplexes, or take much of an advantage on the mat. It was cool to watch Nakano, counter attacks, and reverse out of things and his one big stomp was the kind of nasty asshole thing that makes me love him, but letting Otsuka shine a bit could have made this incredible.

Daisuke Ikeda/Takeshi Ono vs. Naohiro Hoshikawa/Yuki Ishikawa - EPIC

PAS: Ikeda and Ono are one of the greatest tag teams of all time. Ono as a beanpole ass kicker and Ikeda as his thicker someone even nastier partner are just magic every time they are in the ring. I don't remember the period where BWO shirted Funaki was their running buddy, but he is on the outside shit stirring, and even brawls a bit with Ishikawa. I enjoyed Hoshikawa in this match, he is best known for his MPRO 10 man appearances and Zero One work, but he is fun here as a flashier BattlArts guy. He really cracks Ikeda with a top rope leg kick, and has some really nice throws. Ono is tremendous as always too, he really mixes it up with Hoshikawa, and I love how he responded to getting ragdolled bu front kicking him right in the chin.  Of course as always Ishikawa vs. Ikeda is the highlight. We have the expected level of violence, including a couple of sections where it breaks down and they start clawing at eyes. Finish has Ikeda wasting Ishikawa with an absolutely hellacious lariat, which even stands out in the category of Ikeda lariats to Ishikawa, think of what that entails.  They were doing this stuff multiple times a month, fucking nuts. The baseline for BattlArts tags is so high, this isn't the absolute tippy top, but even below that level is incredible stuff.


COMPLETE AND ACCURATE DAISUKE IKEDA

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Daisuke Ikeda Anniversary Show 4/7/19

PAS: Very excited to see this show up!! Ikeda and Ishikawa back on their bullshit again, plus lots of other fun dudes.

Funimori Abe vs. Junji Tanaka

PAS: Junji Tanaka is old school BattlArts dude Junji.com, and is dressed in a Sumo pad for some reason. This is a solid BattlArts/Futen opener, where guys hit each other a little harder than is really neccesary. Junji is in his late 40s and takes a bunch of really gnarly kicks to the head which he sells like an old man falling down a flight of stairs. Abe was fine in his role of a guy kicking an old man.

SAKI vs. Hikari Shimizu

PAS: This was a bad Joshi match, which really felt out of place on this card. When BattlArts had Joshi matches they would usually try to work the style, this was just a lot of bad dropkicks and hair whips. Shimizu seemed to hurt herself at one point so the ending felt abrupt. I did like SAKI's furry pink Brody boots though.

Keisuke Okada/SUGI vs. Hiroshi Yamato/Taro Nohashi

PAS: Match had some really fun moments without really ever coming together entirely. Okada and Yamato had a fun shoot scramble to start, and SUGI and Nohashi followed it up with a fun lucha exchange. The middle dragged a bit, but built to a fun finish with SUGI unloading all of his big highspots. Taro Nohashi seems like a guy I need to dig into more. He was awesome as a crowbar in his FUTEN matches, and here he splats Okada with some sick headbutts and bases really well for all of SUGI's spots. I wonder if their are hidden MPRO gems I need to dig up.

Ikuto Hidaka vs. Takafumi Ito

PAS: This was really great, basic arm versus leg match, but both guys were super tricky on the mat and found awesome ways to fly into attacks, counters into counters. I loved Hidaka's dragon screw whip with Ito tied into the corner, really looked like it shredded all the tendons in his knee. Ito really grabbed at the arm in nasty ways too, including a victory roll into an armbar. Built nicely from simple grappling into more complex fun stuff, had enough wacky stuff that I wouldn't call it pure shootstyle, but shootstyle adjacent wrestling is having a good year.

Yoshiaki Fujiwara/Tatsuo Nakano vs. Super Tiger/Tomohiko Hashimoto

PAS: Apparently Nakano is still semi-active, I hadn't seen him in years, he still brings the heat when needed, and I really enjoyed team UWF. Fujiwara is ageless, and still will deliver two or three cool things a match, even as he enters his 8th decade on this planet. I loved how he broke a Tiger submission hold by twisting his ankle at a really nasty angle, and the counter of Hashimoto's slap into a Fujiwara armbar was smooth as expected. I didn't think the Tiger and Hashimoto team brought enough to really make this a list match, although I liked Hashimoto's energy.

Brahman Brothers vs. Masayuki Tokumitsu/Rocky Kawamura

PAS: This was a Brahman Brothers match. They are very much a thing, lots of comedy spots of spitting water and grinding things into faces. It serves a purpose I suppose, but It isn't really my thing. As a former amateur boxer I do appreciate the form on Rocky Kawamura's body shots, but this was mostly forgettable. This was a show of everyone showing up and doing their stuff, some of that stuff I love, this is stuff I don't.

Daisuke Ikeda/Alexander Otsuka vs. Mohammed Yone/Yuki Ishikawa

PAS: I am in a pretty great nostalgia K-Hole right now, I get to watch the Warriors go back to 2015 post KD injury, and I get to see my FUTEN and BattlArts friends take it back to 2010 and approximate a FUTEN tag. Ishikawa has shown up in 2019 and is making a strong Wrestler of the Year pitch, after basically being inactive for the last half a decade. The rest of the guys in this match have clearly slowed down a step or two, but Ishikawa looks like prime Yuki Ishikawa. We get great opening Ishikawa mat sections with both Ikeda and Otsuka, including Ishikawa doing an awesome gator roll. There was a long Ikeda vs. Yone section where the match dropped down a gear (although it did have an awesome spot where Otsuka deadlift germans both guys, and some great Ikeda straight punches to Yone's head), The focus of the match was Ikeda vs. Ishikawa of course and I was so glad to see them run that all time legendary matchup back. The structure was pretty interesting with Ikeda initially working as a guy who had lost a step and couldn't hang, in the early sections he kept going to the eyes and breaking submissions by biting. When we got the final stanza though, he stands up and brings the heat you would expect from Daisuke Ikeda, including nearly beheading Ishikawa with a spin kick to the jaw. There is some great intense scrambling on the ground, but Ishikawa finishes Ikeda off with a nasty Octopus. So happy this happened, and so happy it showed up on the internet. Can't believe that they are still doing this to each other, but god bless those two lunatics.


COMPLETE AND ACCURATE YOSHIAKI FUJIWARA

COMPLETE AND ACCURATE DAISUKE IKEDA

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RIP Mastodon

Big Van Vader vs. Tony Halme NJPW 5/17/92

PAS: This is a fun battle of monsters, which is exactly what you want it to be. Halme may have the best body shots in wrestling history and he really is digging in into Vader's big belly here. There are very few wrestlers Vader has ever fought who you buy going toe to toe with him. It was a battle of those great looping Vader hooks against the those thudding body shots. We also got a big Halme top rope clothesline and a body slam. I loved the finish run with Vader throwing big clotheslines and Halme refusing to go down until he finally does. The actual finish run was a bit of a banana peel, but both guys are so imposing, banana peel seems like the only way.

ER: I just saw the movie Rampage (again...) and this is the large white men version of that. I'm with Phil on this one as how many guys can stand opposite Vader and make it look like a fair stand and trade? How many guys can stand across Halme and do the same? Also agree that Halme's hard right to the stomach is my favorite body shot in wrestling. It's thrown perfectly, lands and explodes. It's the best strike he throws, but it's also the best strike almost anyone throws. Even in his earliest matches Halme had a great elbowdrop, and he throws a perfect one here, and Vader takes this great sprawling bump across the ring off a top rope clothesline. Vader is a savage though and our finishing run is just lariat after lariat after avalanche after lariat after bear attack. Vader appears to be attempting to crush Halme's collarbones, dropping a big butt splash and a standing splash directly across his upper chest, and then some more lariats to that chest. At one point while lying on his back, Halme appears to feel for his heartbeat. The finish is a flash, with Vader missing another butt splash and immediately getting rolled up (and appearing to kick out), and it is a little disappointing not seeing these guys just murder each other to completion. Halme has this great aloof smug face though, so it's funny to see him immediately selling the victory like he hadn't spent the previous 3 minutes getting crushed. Halme is not one of the all time great wrestling titans like Vader, but he's damn sure a guy you want to see opposite a titan.

Super Vader vs. Tatsuo Nakano UWFI 5/6/93

PAS: This is Vader's debut match in UWFI and Nakano is a great opponent for a short sprint semi squash. He is a fat Elvis looking dude who always comes forward and fights, which is perfect for a guy getting mauled by a Grizzly Bear. He gets one great bit of offense, where he trips Vader and starts pounding him in the back in the head with some really stiff forearms. Vader lays in a big time beating, with a huge german suplex and a running smash where he obliterates Nakano and the ref. He finishes him with two big body shots and a hook. Great debut which makes Vader look unstoppable and Nakano like a tough bastard.

ER: Crowd is straight RABID for Vader, and why wouldn't they be? There's a roar through the first few minutes of this that practically sounds like the Beatles playing Shea. Nakano shows why I could never be a wrestler, standing chest out as Vader walks up to him...and Vader just looks enormous. He looks comically large. We all know how large Vader was, but here he just looks absolutely larger than life, like he's about to just swallow Nakano whole. Nakano is a man and takes his beating, trying some leg kicks that could have been effective the longer the match lasted, and getting Vader momentarily off his feet which is the only place Nakano had a shot. But this is a debuting monster, and that monster is gonna eat. Vader hits two of my absolute favorite avalanches here, one the second the bell rings (just to show Nakano how this match is going to go) and another as Nakano is getting back to his feet and Vader just decides to steamroll him AND the ref. The UWF-I points system just makes it look like Nakano's health meter is constantly draining, which, yeah, is accurate. The German is big, and he even pulls back on it a bit, rotating to the side at the last minute so it's more of a flat back suplex, when he could have just planted him dome first by going straight over the top. His strikes looked impossible to take, and the body shots to end the match look like something that could end any match ever.

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